Stupidly Long Crap Food Special | Ashens
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- čas přidán 13. 04. 2013
- WE DON'T NEED NO STEENKING EDITING
Join Dan and I on a culinary odyssey as we try some crap food and I force him to cook some beer bread. Because yes.
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*Dan laughing*
"What is that?!"
*Stuart, slightly panicked*
"THAT'S DOUBLE DRAGON!"
I always keep a copy of double dragon in the oven.
KNEAD THE DOUGH
THE DOUGH OF THE DRAGON
BAKE THE LOAF
THE LOAF OF THE DRAGON
>tries to find bread tin in oven
>finds Double Dragon instead
It's really never a dull moment in Ashens' house.
A normal person: Oh no! I left the cookies in the oven!
Ashens: Oh no! I left an 80's arcade game in the oven!
That's a guy who made a book saying 'Shades of Grey' 50,000 times for you.
josh kirby yep, that's ashens
+josh kirby then sold it on ebay/amazon (im not sure which)
no it'd be "oh no! iv'e left a can of speggettios in a locker for 30 years!"
"Bon appeitit"
GobsmackedNumpty I just subbed cuz of the mr bean
the “here’s an annotation” to dan’s channel gets funnier with every passing year after youtube’s removal of annotations
Akasha Posegate still funny
@@oliverlindsay2659 still funny
@@bluesquadron8667 still funny
@@thecompanionnoob1408 still funny
I turned them off years ago anyway. I found them distracting.
The prospect of two British people trying to guess who Larry the Cable Guy is is seriously one of the funniest things I have ever seen.
HalfwayBeret Larry the Cable guy is Mater from cars... According to Google anyway
Guitar Dome. Instant classic
SunburntRock89 :o sad onion!
+joshdm1986 yeah i know
when they first read his hat "Guitar Dome", i woke my roommate up i was laughing so hard
"Twenty One? Is this from Saudi Arabia??" - so funny
Larry the Cable guy is a German mathematician, astronomer, and astrologer; a key figure in the 17th century scientific revolution, he is best known for his laws of planetary motion.
I think my Wikipedia app may be faulty.
I think wikipedia confused Larry the Cable Guy for Gottfried Liebniz.
TheRadPlayer Or maybe the rest of the world did.
Lee Perkins maybe it knows something we don't... Larry the Cable Guy, Time Lord.
Those are just alternative facts.
I'd like to remind you before the debate that CNN cried the hypocritical term (for them) fake news first.
"You have to imagine that America is like 50 separate countries glued together."
That's actually a pretty fair description.
That is basically the idea.
Basically what the EU wants to become. And yes i am British. A Racist Brit according to the remainers.
+Chef Excellence As a pretty liberal American, I would've voted to leave as well.
+Pompous Prique you know literally nothing about the EU or British politics. fuck off
Except we all get together to decide who will run the country, and then everyone fights, and the least qualified person is in put in charge to punish us. I think that's the idea anyways. Its the only way to explain why we got these choices in the election.
Oh we also completely ignore the people who make the laws, and so nothing is ever done to protect our rights other than the odd decision in court. The more I understand politics the more I hate people.
Hearing "git r dun" in a British accent just made my week!
Will Hornberger “guitar dome” cracked me up
@Sassy The Sasquatch yeah it's cool sometimes when there's some peculiar regional way of saying something in america, and it's the same in the UK and vice versa
*West country accent
@@joebleasdale5557 mate he's from Norfolk
@@curt6926 … and putting on a West Country accent.
"Spicy Spice" sounds like the unholy abomination created when you combine every Spice Girl into one giant Spice Girl who will surely devour us all
One problem you had with the beer bread is, I believe, you used a 500 ml can of beer.
The standard American can size is 12 oz, which is only about 355 ml, which is what the beer bread intends for you to use.
If you used that whole can, it's no wonder it tastes off.
Just too much liquid.
+MysticJhn I was thinking the same thing! Waaay too much liquid in that batter XD
Im sure there are tall boys in America.
There are, but the most common beers come in 12 oz cans. So if a recipe says "Add a can of beer", that's what you'd assume.
Yep, as soon as I saw that tall can of beer I knew they were in trouble. It did look better than I thought it would though, Did the instructions specified a lager? I think I would try a sweeter beer if I ever got a hold or one of these beer bread mix, maybe a Newcastle. If the results were good than I would try I higher quality Belgian beer maybe.
You have to remember though this product is aimed at the average American. Which means they will be using cans of Bud or Coors.
Dan's voice sounds so innocent and naive. And you are forcing him to eat vomit inducing jelly beans.
Watching a left hand and a right hand trying to cooperate but somehow failing is for some reason deeply disturbing.....
Like a child watching a puppet show about his parents getting a divorce.
it's like watching thing and a relative! XD
lets hope you never have to witness the aftermath of a split brain surgery
IVE SEEN THAT AND ITS JUST LIKE THIS
Alternatively, someone with DID fighting an alter for control of one hand, giving up, and then trying to do it together.
I will always come back to this video just to hear
"DAAAAN, bread."
What, the DAAAAAN, Bread and not the double dragon oven incident
As an American, listening to them try to pronounce "Git-r-done" was fucking hilarious
"I can't believe you put Double Dragon in the oven."
Watching the English try to figure out Larry the Cable Guy is hilarious.
He's Mater from Cars isn't he?
+Ellie Scargill (EllieHasACZcams) Yes.
You're easily amused then
+tman008 That patron saint of trailer trash.
Watching Americans doing general math amuses me.
Breaking Bread. A show about two guys who get wrongfully arrested when two policemen undercover as girl scouts catch them using Larry the Cable Guy's Beer Bread bread mistaking it for cocaine. Ironically, Dan and Ashens actually become drug addicts in prison, and the show is an account of their trials and tribulations and being high until they
**Spoilers**
finally realise that they were snorting bread mix all the while.
Plot twist- The bread mix turns out to be *more* dangerous than cocaine and they subsequently die of an overdose. They then ascend to heaven where Chef Excellence fuses with Dan and drags ashens to the depths of hell where he is forever forced to watch Tooth Fairy 2 and listen to stand up comedy by Larry the Cable Guy all while being force fed food items from the Git-R-Dun range, left begging for the sweet sweet taste of rotten egg jelly beans.
my life is complete
Arya Suri 10/10 would binge watch.
How about **Baking Bread**?
And don’t forget the spin-off series Better Call Paul (and Eli)
School bar is basically apple.rar.
+Redmanb11_87 Apple.RAR.?
Ehm ok. School Bar = A virtual File Archive named Apple.
Seems legit
Apple.rar is compressed apples I guess.
Redmanb11_87
Higly Concentrated Apple Juice i guess!
+Redmanb11_87 laaaaaame
u wot m8?
"Everybody likes bacon, Dan!"
And Dan promptly went vegan to avoid having to do this shit again
The bread mix actually looked like drugs.
Stu and Dan star in... Breaking Bread
Why hasn't it happened yet
Baking bread
Get out.
ceiling_carpet in guessing they eat a lot in breaking bread.... Budum tsh
@digdigdigman nope this time it's certainly breaking
"He has a hat that says "guitar done". Oh my fucking god I'm dead
+actionvolcano It's Guitar Dome, not guitar done.
+T.Y. Netees you moron it says Get-R-Done go look back in the video dumb ass. lol
Andy Gamer1337 No, but he said Guitar Dome, not Guitar Done. I know my L.T.C.G.- at least, the bare minimum,
+actionvolcano R.I.P
Where is the hat lmao
In case anyone just happened to be wondering, oligofructose is a medium-sized sugar chain. It's longer than fructose on its own so you don't burn all the sugar in one go, but shorter than starch-like molecules which usually end up being stored for later use.
It's pretty good stuff for concentration and energy throughout the day, hence it was chosen for a school bar.
But how well does it crystallise?
Thanks you fucking nerd xD
So is it a monosacharride or a disacharride?
I don't think anyone happened to be wondering, but thank you none the less.
I was.
"50 separate countries glued together" is about right, actually.
Beats us in the UK, we've only got 3 and a half..
+Jack Slaughter 40 something of our states are shit to live in you have to practically go out to the middle of no where to enjoy "american freedom"
+Jonathan Hughes No joke!
+jglitch0 I know right... Out in the middle of no where usa nothing to worry about at all.
+Jonathan Hughes I thought that, came to the comments, and saw you already put it here. It literally is almost exactly what it is, a bunch of states laws, with a few federal laws to tie everything together.
You know you're in the kitchen of a real chef when there's a tiny Londo Mollari on the counter and a double dragon board in the oven.
you're kinda right about america being like 50 different countries lol. when traveling state to state the people are different, the laws are different, you may be treated different depending where you're from and where you are. etc
nakedmongoose123
US might as well be considered a sovereign state of 50 countries.
Especially after what Trump has done to the place. Utter disgrace.
I wouldn't say 50 though. It's like maybe 15-20. Regions are similar, and then the cities.
@@looksirdroids9134 TDS
"Most people hide booze or something in the oven."
No, Stuart, most people cook with the oven.
Not if you're single, male, and British.
Speaking of, I think my vodka's cooked to a turn. Back in a bit...
I've never made beer bread, but as someone who bakes a lot I'd say the reason it was so spongy was because European beer cans are bigger than american ones, and therefore they used too much beer
That size of beer can is readily available here in the States.
@Jason Lee lmao, it could easily be just the case that that person may legitimate just drinks bottles.
Those beer sizes are incredibly common in the USA.
@@md_vandenbergYeah, but the common one is about ⅔ that size. You have to specify the Tallboy cans in the US.
From my experience with beer bread (It's an actual thing, not just something Larry invented lol), you're not supposed to taste the beer. It usually just cooks out. You guys put way too much beer in there lol The can you used is about twice the size of an average beer can in the US. Not your fault, they probably should have specified on the box.
Quick Attack Films I thought half a litre is the beer can size all over the world.
***** Nah, here in the US, it's 335 ml.
Quick Attack Films we dont even have those size i dont think i was also thinking that as i knew that the us cans where a lot smaller but i just guessed you also had the bigger one to buy also
setogod We have half-litre cans (actually 16 ounces which is about 0.48L) which are available single or in packs of 4, but the standard is 12 ounce (or 0.33L).
Which is confusing because everything else we eat and drink is massive, but our beers are small.
"i was injecting cider directly into my eye when i was seven" neat
no, that was the vodka
I love Ashen’s walking away with double dragon saying now they know why I have an ex girlfriend 😂😂😂
"that can of lager could have been sold at a profit to a teenager" best line ever
My favorite part of the video was, “ha ha ha! Do you know what’s in the oven? ““What. ““Oh fuck! Ha ha ha! Shit!
I don't know why, but this video is like a warm hug.
Its actually kind of amazing how accurate ashens guesses on larry the cable guy are given that he knows nothing about him, his impression when he said "you gotta try it it" is about 80% accurate, and he's right about him being a comedy person
"Loaded mashed potatoes, loaded with what"
"Gunpowder"
the best part is that he's not far off XD
Who hides double dragon in their oven, I mean, really!?
Ashens did
Bachelors who grew up in the 80s
i lol'd at guitar dome
_"It tastes like fat and salt"_
/v/ in a nutshell.
Bethesda in a nutshell
Turtles in a half shell
@@zombieneith7 turtle power
18-year old american: Can I have a ciggarett or perhaps a beer?
Government: Sorry son. The best you'll get is a war with Iran.
ashens: "here's an annotation"
CZcams: LOL NO
As an american, the commentary on Americans was making me laugh..I also forgot the drinking age is lower in europe/the uk..yes it's 21 here!
In the UK you have to be 18 to buy alcohol but there is no age restriction to drink as long as an adult is with you.
On Malta you have to be 16 to buy alcohol. They won't sell you every type of booze, though, there are some restrictions on the percentage of the spirits.
+DonpatchXD But it's illegal to supply an under 18 with alcohol so it's impossible for an under 18 to drink alcohol without at least one person breaking the law.
Google "UK Drinking laws"
Lmgtfy:
It is not illegal:
For someone over 18 to buy a child over 16 beer, wine or cider if they are eating a table meal together in licensed premises.
For a child aged five to 16 to drink alcohol at home or on other private premises.
"Guitar Dome" lolz
WHYYYYY WAS THERE BACON IN THE SOAP?!
I made it myself!
knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-understood-that-reference
Old memes die hard
Waffles!!!!
Having the box labelled with pictures for the illiterate is a clear example of knowing one's target audience.
ChickenPika it's a character
ChickenPika He's doing it for the people that live in Kentucky.
Hickok45 ref :D
The joke is haha white working class people. Larry The Cable Guy is making fun of the stereotypes. The fact you are taking it seriously, and acting as if it’s not ironic, makes you seem epically foolish.
I think it was doughy because you used a 16oz can when the recipe calls for a 12oz can.
I love how you see Larry the Cable Guy and figure that he's Welsh.
19:38. Greatest "Oh fuck" ever.
You've never heard of Larry the Cable Guy?
I envy you.
Believe it or not there are countries outside the US! :)
nobody outside the United States of Ass know him.
Mr Funreal in case you hadn't noticed, my comment was sarcastic, hence the "I envy you" appended to the end.
BenjaminGoose Anything for an excuse to bring up America vs. Country X on an ashens video. :l
TheArnoldification
It never gets old. XD
I lost it at "Spice, spicy spice.".
I would love a series of Ashens and Dan experimenting with assorted buy and bake products from around the world.
I died on the inside presumably from laughter when I heard the term Get r done pronounced "Guitar-Dome" lmaoooooooooooo
Beer bread when it's cooked right is actually quite fantastic, it's supposed to be sweet, a bit doughy and taste of beer
Probably, but let us have our fun bashing Larry the Cable guy's shitty products.
Ferrum Perhaps beer bread is supposed to be good but larry's is not.
Ferrum
Beer is delicious, especially well made micro brews. Budweiser, Coors, Pabst and others are cheap and taste watery and bitter to me.
As long as you don't make it with mich ultra you should be fine.
also K4RN4GE911 you do realize that 80 proof is only 40% alcohol? Many rums, whiskeys and burbons are 80 proof. That's not gasoline, as many of them are quite nice.
Thank God you didn't give Double Dragon the heat, that would've been a waste!
Isn't Larry the Cable Guy the voice of Mater in Pixar's movie Cars?
Isaac Russell yes
Correct
Sadly yes.
"Popular in the media but not with the public"
I can only think of Blobby.
*Shivers*
He's also a stand-up comedian (at least I think he still does that)
school bars were a part of my childhood. notorious for not being able to open the package
It gives such happy feelings to see that there are so many people who don't know who Larry The Cable Guy is
How can you not know.
My grammar skills, I ask a question but end the question with a period.
daniel gigs
Just because a comedian or celebrity is known in one country doesn't necessarily mean he/she is known in other countries.
I wish I didn't..... =(
Sorry, I forgot sarcasm can't be noticed by text ( even tho I hate sig sarcasm via text) I only found out about him because my dad showed me some Stan up he does. He isn't that great, but it isn't bad.
Wow Ashens.
"Oh yeah I just store my fucking Double Dragon Arcade Boards in my oven because there's nowhere else to put them." Seriously? is space that limited in your house?
what doesn't every one keep board games in their ovens and put computers and phones in their washing machine?
Alfie Sinden
I don't. No way would I destroy my Macs in the washing machine. I'd happily put some Windows Vista computers in the washing machines though.
stephthestar90 i'd gladly ruin an uncustomizable, easily-breakable mac in a washing machine, i'd rather not sacrifice a glorious, solid, customizable windows 7 PC.
John Egbert
Macs are not easily breakable! They're great computers. And yes Macs run Windows as well. Mine is a dual boot setup which runs both OSX and Windows. I use Windows for games and the Mac OS for everything else.
KrankuEDM
justifying their purchases as they probably bought it on a whim.
"Loaded mashed potatoes? Loaded with what?"
"Probably gunpowder."
Dan's got us figured out.
I sometimes return to this video for the immortal moments of "Guitar Dome" and the thing-in-the-oven incident.
"you git r dun boy"
"Loaded" means the mashed potatoes have cheese, bacon/bacon flavored bits, chives, and sour cream.
And you ruined the joke
+Extremely Moist lmao
TisIKingLlywy that actually sounds nice as hell
A good loaded baked potato makes me Extremely Moist
all things that should never touch mashed potato. the only thing i like in mashed potato is garlic
"here's the annotation"
I remember those days
Ashens and Dan should do every food special together. They're bloody brilliant! If you disagree, watch the Trekking burger then come back.
I got to hear ashens say "get er dun"
I'm quite please
I think i know why Ashens might've stored the Double Dragon board in his oven.
Because he might have been following a recipie that calls for "baked arcade boad".
Before you know it, it'll say that next it needs "blended NES cartridge".
"It's like eating a million apples. And a million newspapers."
Freakin recoiled over that.
Ahh, yes, the first step of Dan turning into Chef Excellence. An excellent inception.
"You have to imagine America is like 50 different countries glued together"
That's actually more true than you think...
50 very samey countries with the same president, same language, same sports teams, mostly similar laws, same media, same holidays etc
@@Blakbox92 euro detected
[Crinkling intensifies]
Rk9Productions! *Bracing for crinkling intensifies*
DragonRex20 [NUCLEAR CRINKLING]
Rk9Productions! [Afterlife crinkling intensifies]
*****
+Stalkus Maximus There are still after-crinkles echoing every couple of days....
"Guitar Dome"
That's my _favorite_ band.
I have heard of using the oven to store pans and pots but never computer parts and games haha
lol when a 28 minute video was considered stupidly long
geovanni's lobster spread, team rocket have really fallen from grace
Will Smith shakspire
Well, after being defeated he decides to smash the rest of the stolen Pokemon into a paste, and here we are.
well, they gotta eat something, and I haven't seen anything besides humans and pokemon in that world...
*WHY IS THERE BACON IN THE SOAP?!*
*WHY NOT?!*
*WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?!*
PENIS
Vengeful Many how do you comment yell? i cant get it to go bold type.
Ferrules & Rapscallions
*thank you*
I feel like Ashens putting double dragon in his oven is his natural response to jontron putting dinocity in his dishwasher.
Hearing a British person say 'git-r-done' with a west country accent just made my fucking year.
I have to say, I was quite impressed on the cooperation mode going on to get the bag of chips open.
A friend of mine got a bottle of bacon flavored soda, he tried to drink the whole thing in one shot & threw up.
I work at a Dollar tree where we sell the beer bread and I have made it a few times and it is actually really good. First off, you need to use a 12 ounce can and not one of those tall boys. Second, the end result varies largely depending on what beer you use. Personally, I feel like cheapo beer works the best rather than anything worth more then the bread mix itself, you know, because Larry would probably be putting a PBR in his too.
I dont know how beer is usually sold in the U.K., but a can of beer in the U.S. is only 12 oz. That looked like a lot of beer for one loaf of bread. It looked soupy. That is probably why it was still wet &_ tasted so much like beer.
It's amazing how each hand has a different personality
Is it just me that loves hearing rustling packaging, it always makes me smile XD
Here in germany youre allowed to drink beer at the age of 16...
***** Thailand, the age is 21. Changed it a few years back. A shame, since I'm visiting in January.
Larry the West Country Cable Guy had me in stitches for some reason.
In the U.S. at 16 you can get your driver's licence, at 18 you can register to vote, and at the age of 21 you can legally go into a liquor store and purchase alcoholic beverages.
The Jahova's witness part made me laugh so much xD "Jeff" the God
"21 years to drink, where does he live, saudi arabia?*
Oh ashens.
Coming from a recent international food special where its said 'Dan is vegan' I can't help thinking it all started here with the 'Bacon Gum'
Oh god, School Bars..
when I was in lower school we were told to brings these in for lunch. I don't think I remember a single person enjoying them.
The worst part is what they it was actually a rule that we had at least one in our bags for a snack :(
hehe when i was in school my friend would always give me his school bars, i loved them, they did feel like you were eating paper BUT i enjoyed the flavour.
those were the days... now i want one...
the '50 separate countries glued together' is actually pretty accurate
It's always a treat watching Dan and his fragile gag reflex. Aah, schadenfreude...
Apparently Larry the Cable Guy voiced Mater in Cars
rabbid frosties he did indeed
I liked watching you guys figure out "Git-r-done"
Larry the Cable Guy is a "comedian" and I use that term very loosely.
***** your point? he's still shit.
the always hated Friedberg & Seltzer of disaster movie, vampires suck (etc) provide entertainment for knuckledragging trogdolytes and make a profit.
by your original logic, we should one day see them win an oscar.
There's a market for everything, and neat niche for the rest. does it say anything about the quality? ofc not.
***** How does ''getting paid a lot'' make him less of a shitty comedian? Kristen Stewart was paid millions for Twilight but that doesn't make her any less of a shitty actress.
*****
Or the other possibility... that
Larry gives you an erection. Given how hard you are defending a man you have never met I'm inclined to think so. Also i note that you didn't actually try to refute my claim about Stewart.
might aswell end this thread because nothing makes him funny and now you're all just being silly
I love how you epitomize the 50-State situation. Yes that is a very accurate simple way of explaining the reason our politics is so different
I don't even care about the bread - Ashen's oven made this hilarious. xD
Yeah, our legal age for drinking is 21.
Like that stops anyone 13 or older from doing it though.
And that's being generous.
As long as it's in your own house, you are allowed to drink from the age of 5 in Britain. Yes, literally 5.
Private Cocky wow o.o
Private Cocky Under parental supervisions. The age for being allowed to try alcohol in Australia under parental supervision is 11.
There are restrictions of course.
***** Its actually funny "You can own a Bazooka at age 16 but don't drink Beer!" America Priorities....
***** There was no legal drinking age when I visited Vietnam 3 years ago.
that sofa has been through a lot
5:41 i know he says “well you’ve got a cold” but i heard “well you’ve got covid” and did a serious double take because of how old this video is
I've just done this, like what the hell covid was known back when, we've been lied to for many years haha
@@andrewdalton99 I mean, technically covid is an acronym for Corona Virus Disease. Many common colds are just different strains of covid, the one from 2019 was just particularly virulent
@@NecnonNefas because it was novel, sure the symptoms arent that different from a normal flu but the virus and its RNA structure was brand spanking new to our immune systems (and its ability to be spreadable from person to person despite people being asymptomatic, AND sometimes not showing signs until 5-7 days after getting it only made it worse)
0:04 - "That's not my hand."
*IT Crowd flashbacks*