sharing my life online | divorce, cancer, fatherhood
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- Äas pĹidĂĄn 3. 02. 2021
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we thought it'd be cool for this weekly talk about some questions I've never answered.
CTFxC Day 4,209 on 2.3.21
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Who remembers the Squiggles days before Allie was fully introduced to the vlogs :)
Yes I was thinking of that the other day
Me, although I will admit I stopped watching around that time because I thought he moved on too fast and it made me really sad. Obviously I'm older now and realise that most divorces almost symbolise the very end of a long struggle.
@@MusicalK93 đ
Me
Can we just appreciate the cat just straight up chilling in the background. I know this is a more heavy video but I was so distracted by the floof.
@Alan Brown I legit got sad when the cat disappeared for a second.
Yeah cats donât give a fuck and I love it đ
đ 100% LOVED Luna vlog bombingâ¤ď¸. Could she be more comfortable?... Me thinks not!
I love how Luna's just chilling in the back
She's a Happy Fat Cat!! đ¤Ł
đ¸
I've been out of the loop, but do they still have Rica?
@@jaclynstepnowski9649 Yep, she tends to hole up in comfy places, like deep inside Char's closet.
Charles, your maturity shows. Been watching since day one. Just keep being yaâll.
I treasure the OG CZcamsrs that have been around for more then a decade and have built this platform. Those like Shay, Olga K, Meghan Tonjes, Phillip DeFranco, FRED, old Smosh, Ray William Johnson, and so many more on.
Before the days of PlayList Live and Vid Con. Before Fine Brothers reacted, before CZcamsrs had merch and then when CZcams Merch was sold only at hot topic and the DFTBA store.
I am so thankful to have grown alongside you and watched your family and friends flourish. I've been watching before ROFL copter days, pre other Alli engagement, and it fills me with joy and pride to see you, Charles, and your friends, flourishing and smiling. Whenever I need a pick me up, I visit your channel and that of those who I've watched for over a decade, and it feels like I'm having a check in with an old friend.
I am so happy for you and the brilliantly beautiful family you've created. One can feel that you and Allie have similar souls, you guys are old souls, a rock boy and a flower child. The match couldn't be more perfect, neither could your daughter, a true ray of sunshine.
Thank you for still being here, thank you for being real, thank you for posting and inviting us in day after day, year after year. I am grateful.
Also, thank you for your old banana bread recipe from the CTFxC website, the one where you put the flour in last just cause. I've been using it for years.
Hope you are great Charles. There was a time when I never missed even a single vlog of yours. I wish the family the best for everything to come !! đđđ.
I have been watching you since around Day 40 or so. You and Shay helped me through so much and my heart constantly aches when I think about how things have changed so much with CZcams. Thank you for being you!
I love how loving and completely understanding Allie is about everything. She is so genuine and kind. She's someone to look up to. Love!! đ
I for one really appreciate your honesty. It canât be easy sharing your life everyday and to continue through the hardest parts shows great strength of character. Thank you for sharing with us - much love from the UK
I agree. Charles, you are so brave!!! You make this look easy which of course, it isnât! And may I just say, every little girl needs a Dad like you. Remiđťis beyond lucky and she will learn how to be honest and cool BY YOUR EXAMPLE.đđđ
Being a viewer since day 77 I have seen Charles go through so much. The good the bad and everything inbetween. Charles has grown up so much with everything he has experienced over these years. I can honestly say that even though Charles may have not shown certain aspects of his life in vlogs, he has always had a way of showing his heart of gold in all 4,209 vlogs. It's clear to me that no matter what he's shown you, you can always see the light in his heart radiate through the screen with the love he feels for his family, wife, Remi, and his CTFxC viewers.đ Your like a perfect stranger and best friend.
I think, the vlogs are more grown up now. Back then it was more 2 young people having fun but got hit with grown up situations.
Thats a great way to explain it!
Iâve been here for the last 8 years, Iâve watched everything and loved it, Iâve finished university, got married and had two babies and still love sitting down and watching you guys when theyâre asleep! I love seeing you grow as a person, as a couple and now as a family, I love the change in your channel as I feel itâs stayed relevant to me personally. Thankyou so much for everything. X
There are many things we regret, however we live and learn! The darkness will go away once you find your light! This video felt a bit nostalgic and emotional, I love you two so muchđ¤
Iâve been watching since the Venice beach days with shay and his family. Itâs been incredible to grow up with these videos and see you grow as a person.
Iâve been a viewer since year 1 so Iâve seen all the ups and downs that you guys have been through and youâve been there through all my hard times and have gotten me through it all. Lives change and in your case it seems for the better regardless of what people on the outside looking in perceive. Just know that the true CTFxCers are always there for you no matter what đđť
I love the way you guys have conversations. Understand each other and take time to listen and actually understand
Its beautiful
I've followed Charles for years but not watched a WHOLE lot with Allie. Just want to say that Allie is actually SO down to earth. Wow. A total breath of fresh air!
She will love to hear this
Sheâs beautiful inside and out. Very sweet and humble
I like that compared to a lot of other vloggers, you still have a comment section that isn't just everyone repeating the same few sentences. It's still a really nice open forum. Been here since before the first wedding.
I think youâve grown in your videos as youâve grown in life. And itâs only natural your vlogs would grow with you. I absolutely love watching yâall on a day to day basis. Charles, my son & I met you at a We the Kings meet & greet a few years ago & you are exactly like you are on here! So genuine and nice and just downright cool. Thank yâall for just being you. Love that about yâall & your vlogs! â¤ď¸
I like the fact that you are more âyou nowâ we do watch these blogs for entertainment but we also watch them because we feel a connection to you and your family. I started watching because I am a retired nurse and was looking for surgery videos!! I am hooked now.I came in during your second surgery.
I remember meeting you guys at SlamDunk when Allie was still squiggles. You guys are genuinely the most grounded, nicest people ever :) Still watching ten years later and I like that your material has grown up with you. đ
I was honestly one of those people who came to the CTFxC looking for an escape. In a day full of panic attacks, I got to look forward to 10 minutes every single day of calm and happiness. Knowing what I know now, I cannot thank Charles enough for that positive place. He sacrificed so much to give us an escape from our problems, even when he was dealing with his own. Sure, the vlog style may have changed since then, but I feel like I've been changing right along with the vlogs. So basically what I am trying to say is thank you, Charles, for giving me a place of comfort and happiness. I am forever grateful for all of the smiles and laughs throughout the years, especially when I needed them the most. I am so excited to see where life takes your little family next. I really hope to meet you again when WTK goes back on tour!
Thank you for every day you share with us. Today for me went from having small life changing opportunity to being completely disappointed and upset. But you guys are so comforting to listen to and watch. You have been a wonderful constant the last several years. Love you ⤠thank you!
Your videos have got me through so many bad times in life. You share the good and the bad... the real. I just want you guys to know how amazing you guys are. You guys have been through so much and you never let life make you bitter. You guys are inspirational. Even though the views may be down, keep doing what you do. You are still touching many lives â¤ď¸
I absolutely adore you guys and have seen growth and maturity of Charles and Allie over the years while still maintaining that goofiness (and love/respect for each other) that makes you so endearing. And remember that the person you are now and into the future is different than the person you were in your twenties.
I've been kicking around here for a long time, but haven't watched in a while because between college and work I just normally don't have time. But I think watching this one, that this is the most growth I've seen here. You've all come a long way, and it's cool to see you mature over the years, and recognize the highs and lows. All the best vibes.
Kait, Thank you. We definitely are immature but yes we do believe we have grown so much over the years. Especially me. Thank you for the constant support
I have watched ctfxc from day 5. Which was many years ago! I was 18 back then. Watching ctfxc has made the hard times brighter. I have watched this channel every day for a long time. When i lost my mum to cancer in 2019 i was greatful for ctfxc because the positivity and the reality helped so much. Now that im almost 30 i still watch them. How the years fly!! Thank you guys! You are amazing role models!!
I started watching when I was a teen dealing with really bad health issues and was being hospitalized constantly. Your vlogs made me feel like I wasnât alone during those dark times and I hope that you feel that same support from this community. I felt like I got to live vicariously through your adventures while I was too sick to go out. Your online presence as touched so many people in so many different ways and hearing this honesty was really refreshing. Much love to you guys always đ¤
Been watching since almost the beginning...love your videos so much and they help me get through my depressing life. Allie, I'm sorry you were bullied and you shouldn't have been subjected to that but you're such a beautiful and strong woman and you're perfect for Charles. Charles, you're an amazing husband and father and just an amazing human being. You've been through so much and you're still kicking ass.
Love that you do this mix of vlogs and sit down talk about life and thoughts and other sit down videos like your react to old videos one now. It's a good thing I think :)
I absolutely LOVE how honest and raw this video is! Iâm agree with Allie in that I also absolutely love when people peel back the curtain of perfection that most people want to portray online. Vulnerability is relatable.
My husband and I are at the point weâre starting to discuss kids within the next few years (weâre both on the fence about it). Itâs nice to see what to expect and learn about baby things.
You both seem like the most down to earth, genuine, kindest people and I wish we knew yaâll in real life. Charles and my husband would get along great with the bad dad jokes, intelligent conversations, and technology & other nerdy interests. Oh, and he also plays bass and as well!
You both just radiate positivity and love. I love your energies.
I've grown up watching you and I feel like your content has grown up too. It's not only the fun and games stuff now, it's the grown up problems and real serious stuff that I deal with in my own life as an adult too now. It's relatable and nice to kind of go through mental struggles and moving houses alongside you. I really feel like I've matured at the same time as the videos. And I really appreciate how goofy you still are! Even adult life can be fun and games :D
Thank you and thats awesome to hear. WE relate to you guys as much as you say you do to us.
Iâm so happy for you Charles!! You are hands down one of the strongest CZcamsrs Iâve watched from the begging. Youâve always continue to be positive and stay true to who you are! Allie is the puzzle piece thatâs been missing for you! :)
One of the most beautiful things about the vlogs is that it is your life! And in life you grow and change, which means the vlogs will grow and change as time goes on; as a long time watcher, I will forever be grateful that I get to watch your life, no matter how much the vlogs may changeâ¤ď¸
Thank you Charles and Allie for sharing the pivotal milestones of your lives with you over the years. May there be many more years to come.
So open, Charles you have been through so much. đ to you and Allie and all your family
iâve been so blessed to have discovered your videos back in 2010 and have enjoyed them ever since. i love having allie (and remi) as part of these vlogs and couldnât imagine it any other way. while this is your job, i hope that you continue to make these vlogs for the purpose of having a collection of the highs and lows that life has brought so remi (and future babies) can watch them down the line and realize how cool her parents are âşď¸
Also as a creator myself, You have been on the internet for 15 years man! We'll support you no matter if you stop vlogging for a while or even if you vlog at least once a week or even vlog once a month! We are here for you guy homies. You have to realize that you are human as well which obviously you guys know. If you guys wanna take off one day and not come back I feel like we'll be okay with that since you have been here for so god dam long! Much love guys See you in the next one!
Charles and ally, you two are happy and that makes me as as fan happy! Thank you for always being positive but still being true to yourselves
so damn proud to have been here since day 12 of the vlogs, youâve gotten me through bad mental health episodes and dealing with a lot of trauma, thankyou for being so candid and honest with us â¤ď¸
Iâve been a bit absent from keeping up with the vlogs but Iâve always made sure to check in with you guys.
Iâm thankful for you, thankful for allie (nee squiggles), and you finding each other, grateful for the dogs and of course, remi.
I hope to be able to thank you IRL someday when the world works again, CTFxC
This video made had me so emotional and I donât know why. I love seeing how beautifully you both have grown as a couple, especially you Charles đWatching this video was so calming, I loved it!
I have followed this channel since year one. I have always loved how open you are and how you dont care about sharing your life with the internet. You could say you are a real life truman show.
This being said I feel that, even though i loved Alli Speed, Allie is such a better fit for you. You can see that you two are so well togerher and that you are fantastic parents. I will always watch, souly because yalls positivity keeps me going through the day đ i love you Charles and Allie keep up the fantastic work
Great video guys. Thank you for being vulnerable for us and going deep. It's been amazing watching you mature over the years. I've grown up watching your videos. It's crazy to think I came from the fine bros video in 2013 and now your a dad, and look so great with Allie and four animals now and cats! đđ
I love how mature this video was. You guys are doing just fineđ
What a journey this has been, I remember watching in the beginning during the apartment/movie review days and to see how far this has come and seeing the ups, downs and the start of a perfect little family form between you two has made me beyond happy to witness throughout the years. Much much much love to you guys and to many more.
I started watching CTFXC when Charles And speed were getting engaged. maybe even before that... I guess i was around 14/15. I was really surprised when you guys split. All the drama started so i stopped watching, it was too much, I already was coping with a split in my family and the deception pissed me off.. i didnt see it from your guys view. then i checked back a year or 2 later, Seen how much of a beautiful person Ali is, i think it was when she had that virus... Im so sorry you guys have been judged and scrutinized most of your online lives. This video has really made me feel something I am so sorry for judging you Charles, I really am. being 26 now i TOTALLY GET IT.I GET IT ALL. i wish i kept watching and rooting you on. I'll make up for it now. you guys rock.
Your story is crazily similar to mine about CTFXC.
Do you happen to know how old they were when they got married first?
â¤ď¸
Love these sit down/heart to heart vlogs! â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸ thank you guys for opening up! It helps us feel more connected with you guys. â¤ď¸
I was there thru all the early stuff but I have to say I love watching Remi!!
I never get bored watching her crazy little jabbers! She is amazing. So I guess Iâm just a Grandma and itâs fun to see what sheâs up to next!!
sending you guys all the love in the world , you guys are such bright faces and im so grateful to have been a viewer since 2012
Love the cat sleeping on the couch - great "product" placement (kidding ha ha ha)
I think you should call this series "TRIPPY TALKS".
Loving the trippy talks!
Yes
Wisdom always increases with age, no matter how old you get, you learn about life until weâre gone! âď¸
I think itâs very important that they constantly talk about things that affected them in the past because itâs wonderful therapy. It shows a lot of growth and healing but some wounds will never heal but you can always learn.
Charles, you are the OG of CZcams and one of the very first vloggers on this app. Thank you for making my childhood what it was. Iâll never forgot the times I watched you grow your family as I grew up into adulthood. â¤ď¸
I hope the views go up just so you guys can relax a little. You make good and positive content and deserve the support. Thanks for answering so many questions
I loved this video and the honesty and rawness. & Allie youâre so mature and it shows how healthy you and Charles are as a couple. Most women I know would be bothered about all the topics discussed. Youâre mature enough to understand char had a past. Just as you did. I love it! đ
I started watching when I was 15 and Iâm 23 now. Although I havenât watched every single video, itâs an oddly comforting feeling knowing that your videos have been a constant that whole time. Also saw you and We The Kings in Grand Rapids, MI at my first concert I ever went to. Thanks for doing what you do đĽ°
Been watching 8 years Iâm 20 now
Same! Iâm 23 now and I have been watching since I was like 14/15!
I was supposed to go to that concert with my wife when we were dating, but couldn't because I goofed up my work schedule. One of my big regrets from that point in our relationship.
Been watching since I was in middle school around 2011/2012ish. Itâs been a wild ride, Iâm glad I found the channel. Itâs been amazing seeing how far this channel has grown.
This video is amazing, Iâve watched ctfxc from the start and honestly the changes you went thru is you being human!!! You guys so strong and passionate and Allie , the person you are I strive to be one day! I love you guys, keep doing you!! Iâll be here always đ
I hope in the near future we the kings goes on tour near VA!! Iâd be there in a heart beat đĽ˛đ
Nothing speaks louder than the truth. I have loved and will honestly always love you guysâ channel. Iâve been watching for a very long time, seen it all. Honestly Iâm happy to be a subscriber and I do hope for nothing but great things for you guys. The past happen and now itâs time to keep shoveling towards the future. God bless Charles, Allie, and Remy (and of course the fur babies) đđđ
Even though i don't get to watch as much as i use to. I love you guys and i do still watch when i can
Itâs awesome to see you through it all and Iâm glad you are opening up and seeing you change and attitude change â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
You've grown alot Charles. I've been watching your videos since my sister introduced me to them in middle school. I wanna say that was 2006. It has been an amazing ride so far watching you grow as a person. I doubt you remember but I once gave you a zelda wallet while you were on tour in Indianapolis. It was my first concert and such a blast. All that aside I wanna thank you for helping me see aspects of you that I admire and strive to implement into my own life.
I remember my favorite part of the day would be coming home from school to watch your vlogs. I grew up and merged away from youtube because life got too busy and I haven't watched in years, but I randomly wondered how you were doing and I'm so happy to see you're doing great and have such a cute family!
What a journey this has been, I remember watching in the beginning during the apartment/movie review days and to see how far this has come and seeing the ups, downs and the start of a perfect little family form between you two has made me beyond happy to witness throughout the years. Much much much love to you guys and to many more. Charles will always be the reason I watch CZcams and the one person who I'll always think of when I think about my childhood. Hopefully i'll be able to see WTK some day
Honestly....I enjoy nowadays "real life" vlogs way more than the old ones... please keep going on with this amazing real vlog format đ¤đĽ°
Thanks for sharing this with us! Iâve been a long time subscriber and I honestly love the new style videos and being able to see you be human with your family!
I loved this video so much. It very much felt like we were (are) best friends just chillin' and hanging out and appreciating life. Thank you guys for sharing yourselves. xo
Been watching since 2014 and I just love the person Charles has become. Allie and him seem to have such a healthy relationship and Charles has evolved so much. I think itâs great to see this evolution and I just love to see that theyâre such in a good place now.
I have watched your videos since I was 10 years old(i am 22 in July). I have enjoyed watching the channel grow to what it is now. You have helped me through some of the shittiest times in my life and I will be forever thankful for that. You have the most beautiful family and I love watching the vlogs. The sit down videos are awesome cause not a lot of people do this very often. You guys are awesome. Much love from Caitlin in Scotland đ´ó §ó ˘ó łó Łó ´ó żâ¤
I'm going to try to make sure I interact with the videos by liking and commenting because I want the algorithm to keep you around!
Hey yâall! đđť yesterday was my birthday and it was honestly kind of a crappy day/night so seeing this today takes my mind off of bs. Thanks for that đ¤
Luna is cracking me up just chilling back there
Happy Birthday Amanda and thank you so much!
I love how you guys are bring honest.
I love your honesty and being so down to earth. đ¤ Long time and lifelong fan
Tbh didnât realise the views were down will try harder to interact more with blogs for sure I wanna say Iâve been watching for nearly 10 years now itâs crazy. Keep doing what yous are doing âď¸đ
Yeah unfortunatly they have dropped significantly! I think a lot of charls's original young audiance grew up and adults have way less time to watch youtube, also they like diferant things. That's why I belive this new direction they are taking with open hounest disscusion taking president is a wise move as it may appeal to the old audiance more now they are older and bring some back.
I havn't had a ctfxc vid recomended to me in a couple of years, then this vid suddenly popped up in my feed, so they are doing something right. :)
"you don't go to your job to get bullied"
Retail and food workers: đď¸đ§đđ§đď¸
10+ year viewer here!! No one can pass judgement on you guys, because at the end of the day the audience is only seeing a very small glimpse into your lives. But I will say I have a great amount of respect for you guys for being so consistently open and honest about the good, the bad and the ugly.
Charles has always had an understanding that his viewers are curious about his life and also respects that we will have questions and opinions but still tries to communicate his best to this little community we built together.
I wish you and your beautiful family nothing but the best!! â¤ď¸
I'll always be around in the community. I've been here since around 2009 when the Spain trip happened and it's nice to see your personal progression as a person. From your wild and crazy 20s to your more reserved and humbled 30s.
Allie is a fantastic person and I feel she's helped you in that journey of finding who you are and what makes you happy. She gave you true companionship and best of all, the gift of fatherhood as well as the values of being a good family man. It's not been all sunshine and rainbows over these last 12 years, sure. But that's life and it's all about living it to it's fullest.
Keep rockin' you lot!
PS. I wonder what ever happened to Ben the bartender from Spain Hahaha
LOVE seeing these videos on Thursday and not any other day. Thanks for the honesty ect.
I think your a hero and inspiration and your blogs help me end my evenings every night
I started watching when this channel was CTFXC and I was in middle school, I'm a sophomore in college now and I just wanted to say I think your vlogs are so real and I agree the old vlogs were probably "masked" because 95% of the time it was just positivity and fun. However, I love the way your channel has GROWN and I love Allie and your babygirl:) Keep up the good work, much love to you two!!
It's nice to hear from Allie. I am a people pleaser as well and would love to hear more about your experiences and how you have become more of yourself rather than focussing on others needs.
awesome! been following you guys since the last 7 years and always will
10:45 He said it! I personally respect you for that along with many other things
I remember watching in like 2008/9 and through the early 2010s. So much has changed in my life. I went off to college, moved to the PNW, then back home. Now I'm 30 and living in South Korea and teaching young kindergarteners. One day I hope I'll get married and have my own children too. That's one thing reflecting on your vlogs over the years. Your growth gives me hope for my own goals of starting a family come true someday.
Definitely appreciate the vulnerability! Very refreshing to see online these days.
I hope the channel makes a come back. Charles is CZcams royalty. Sad to hear how much the views make him so upset. I love you guysâ¤ď¸ thank you for pushing through the hard times. Itâs amazing to watch.
Hi guys, I'm actually working my way through your old vlogs but only the ones with you Allie. That's solely because that's how I "met" you both. You are both such a lovely, lovely couple I feel I can relate to you more. Little Remi is such fun, love watching her through her different stages. More animals please!! Would love to see how Remi interacts with some baby goats, that'll be to cute đ. Stay safe â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
My question was answered. It makes me so happy in my personal life that it was answered and it was answered honestly.
its crazy it feels like i've been growing up alongside you for years with all the vlogs! its cool that you did this q and a. We all make mistakes, grow and learn from them. To see you and Allie doing well and have a family makes me happy for you!! ps. one of my favourite vlogs will always be when you and We The Kings found one of your songs in a random bar in Japan (i think, if my memory serves me correctly)...
Well I will say that following you then you both has helped me to deal with some more serious things in my life. Seeing you courageously go then treatment etc.. hats off to the both off you. I wish you nothing but the best!!
I love you guys! You do make a difference in my life. Watching your videos always cheers me up everyday! Remi is so adorable!â¤
Thank you so much Cynthia!
I could just hug you two, your amazing, strong, real and courageous, haters are gonna hate, never let it change you, because you rock xx
One of the things I admire most about Charles is to see how much he has matured over the years. From a young crazy 20 year old to a mature centered father and everything in between. Both of you are truly amazing parents too.
Being honest here, I knew the separation was coming 3 vlogs before it came out. It was a vibe. Thank you for being honest
Iâve watched you through all the different âAllieâs and itâs been a joy to see your life through this screen. I feel bad that you caught so much flack for literally just living your life. Parasocial relationships do weird things to some people, but Iâm glad you still shared regardless of the negativity from some folks.
Life has a lot to deal with but we all at some point travel the same road. You just happened to see an unique opportunity when times were changing to take as advantages of a platform to be almost completely transparent about most scenarios & make it watchable entertainment. Even the mundane. Slightly ahead of the curve on the media age of being able to broadcast live in nearly seconds. Happy for your success, sir. You trailblazed a path for all of us.
OG fan here! So grateful and inspired by your story. You go guys! đ
I want to say that I knew something was amiss with Charles and Ally Speed. Charles would be home watching Netflix and Ally would be out with her mom or friends having drinks. You guys went through so much as such a young age. You did what you wanted to at the time. Don't regret your decisions, they made you who you are today. We love you!!!
ally posted/tweeted something in november (before it as announced) about ' i hate my entire life being on the internet' she quickly deleted after i asked whats wrong... i knew something was wrong but i didnt think it was THAT wrong. the crying so hard over the wedding album pic thing at xmas made sense after the fact, it was over already, we jsut didnt know it and they didnt know how to transition it with all of us.
i wish they had of been more open with us but it is what it is and its not my life to share it was theirs. im just really glad he does sit down talk to camera and shares how shits going instead of trying to hide it. i appreciate that allie has made him more grounded and that he keeps it real
Alli was SOOOO young though.
@@user-yo4zt5su3b They were both young, and faced the unexpected together. Then it seems them grew apart.
@@kristenperez2291 wasnât she like 23?
âHaving drinksâ lol
I don't get to watch much anymore due to college, but I always try to watch as often as I can. Been here since 2011/12. I did get burnt out from vlogs (in general) for a bit around 2015, but I did always try to watch you guys.