Father Wound: How to Heal Your Negative Father Complex? - Inner Work Library [33/500]

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  • čas přidán 8. 07. 2024
  • The Negative Father Complex & Father Archetype is often misunderstood, misrepresented or unnecessarily over-complicated.
    This episode of Inner Work Library Q&A draws upon the work of Carl Jung and Jungian Psychology to emphasise the importance of healing our Father Wound so that we can reconnect with healthy and mature masculinity in a practical manner.
    WATCH MORE Q&A EPISODES BELOW (FULL SERIES)
    • Inner Work Library Q&A...
    WATCH INNER WORK ESSENTIALS: COMPLETE COURSE | 100+ Book Recommendations:
    • Inner Work Essentials:...
    ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS ⏱️
    00:00 Broken Boys & Abandoned Girls?
    01:45 The Three Qualities of Your Father
    03:00 Carl Jung: Beware The Complex
    05:16 Literature Review (Buy This Book)
    09:17 Father Wound: How to Heal Yourself?
    10:58 Abusive Fathers & Absent Fathers
    16:05 Positive Father Complex & Mature Masculinity
    19:55 Inner Work & The Father Archetype
    ///
    Topics explored:integrate your unconscious; the unconscious mind; jordan peterson; toxic masculinity; masculine energy; male energy; embrace masculinity; reject modernity embrace masculinity; masculine motivation; mens work; masculine theory; men psychology; inner work; jungian shadow; masculine psychology; male psychology; carl jung masculinity; traditional masculinity; masculine archetypes; male archetypes; archetypal psychology; jungian archetypes; toxic masculinity; masculine energy; men psychology; the father wound; father wound; father complex; negative father complex; psychology complex; carl jung complexes; carl jung father complex; absent father; abusive father; toxic father; jungs map of the soul; carl jung; jung
    ///
    📸 - Follow me on Instagram: / thorntontheory
    DM me for 1:1 consultations & private mentoring.
    #masculinity #selfhealing #innerwork

Komentáře • 158

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    @jordanthornton  Před rokem +16

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  • @solymarball8855
    @solymarball8855 Před rokem +32

    Never met him. He left. Never came back. I never felt like there was a missing. I simply didn't know. As an adult it never much bothered me. A child shouldn't chase their dad down to care for them. But now that I'm grown I see how F up that really was. He was a burden to me even away.

    • @leticiamagalhaes3747
      @leticiamagalhaes3747 Před rokem +5

      It was like that for me too!! But in my case I met him, mom would always motivate me to go to his house to see him. But I told her that I didn't want. That I wanted no longer to see him
      But it's like I have never "evidently" missed him

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +7

      Sorry to hear this, I hope the video provided a perspective that was useful for you.

    • @jacekbil
      @jacekbil Před 10 měsíci +1

      I feel for you, i am there myself

    • @Mytravelaccounts
      @Mytravelaccounts Před 5 měsíci +1

      Same, he wasn’t present for me ever. Never had a male figure in my life. I’ve only seen and experienced females taking the lead role in my life and which is why I don’t really see the need to depend on men.

  • @rouxfaces
    @rouxfaces Před 3 dny

    i just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. We need intellectuals like you for this generation, healing begins with wisdom. God bless.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před 2 dny

      Truly my pleasure. Keep stacking those new books on your shelves 🌲

  • @Healing_Oaks
    @Healing_Oaks Před 3 měsíci +4

    You have the most soothing voice ever. This made a lot of sense.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před 3 měsíci

      Cheers, will keep speaking and teaching for as long as I can.

  • @EvolvingMan
    @EvolvingMan Před rokem +24

    Father wound work is an essential piece of the healing that is done in modern men’s circles. It may be the moat powerful healing work I have ever done.
    The men’s work organization I work with has 50 groups. The first thing we have each man do when he joins, is tell us his father story.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +3

      That process of telling the father story sounds like an excellent initiation in the group space - appreciate the work that you’ve been doing across the pond in anchoring the brotherhood and re-fathering process with the men you support.
      Cheers, Ben!🌲

    • @MrStrocube
      @MrStrocube Před rokem +2

      Does this organization have groups in Long Beach, CA?

    • @EvolvingMan
      @EvolvingMan Před rokem +2

      @@MrStrocube no but we will start a group in LA this year. The community is called The Arka Brotherhood.

    • @MrStrocube
      @MrStrocube Před rokem +1

      @@EvolvingMan Thanks so much.
      I’ll look up the Arka Brotherhood.

    • @therealrayster
      @therealrayster Před 6 měsíci +1

      This is so much needed. I wish something like this exist in Asia too!

  • @KatchPokemon
    @KatchPokemon Před dnem

    20 minutes to explain and give a structure to something that I and many others have struggled with maybe our whole lives. I've been stuck in that quagmire of insane amounts of information surrounding diagnosing this complex and healing it, but it takes a great skill and awareness to synthesize information like that into a necessarily simple structure like this. Thanks for all of the effort you put in. I believe I can finally end this goose chase now. Be well.

  • @ClaraBell3452
    @ClaraBell3452 Před rokem +10

    Too close and too cold for sure. This is an interesting question. It helped me realize that he wanted me to be too close and warm, while he didn't feel the need to reciprocate the warmness. If my "warmness" began to verge on honesty about my deeper feelings that indicated I wasn't getting my emotion needs or desires met, he shut it down immediately, convinced me that this is not what I was truly feeling, and navigated me back into a fake warmness. For this kind of childhood, it was vital for me to force distance between my father and I so I could develope the freedom to feel my true feelings and learn how to validate them for myself.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem

      Thank you for taking the time to share. I'm glad that the video prompted these reflections, Clara.

    • @Brancaalice
      @Brancaalice Před 6 měsíci +3

      The point is, if you dont have something to give, how can you give. Only if you fake it. Children always know what is true, because they are innocent. Most parents dont meet children needs. Some adult are child theirselves in needs.
      How can they raise and fulfill it.

    • @lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285
      @lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285 Před 5 měsíci

      Well said

    • @lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285
      @lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285 Před 5 měsíci

      ​@@BrancaaliceTruth

  • @estelhagdorn7455
    @estelhagdorn7455 Před rokem +6

    Man! How important is your expression of gratitude and recognition expressed though the moms mouth: yes Dad ist not here. He works. He pays for the food that we eat here. Lets give him our thank you. Ut heals in me a great DEAL.

  • @milarepetzky6585
    @milarepetzky6585 Před 10 měsíci +5

    Hi Jordan, thank u, I loved my dad and lived with him (without my mom) until he died, I was still little girl. Nobody speaks about this type of caused “father issues “ … I was looking for him in every single man I met which is sick.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před 10 měsíci +1

      I hope that this video opened some insights, and likewise hope that the other videos on this channel support your next steps - wishing you well 🌲

  • @meel.369
    @meel.369 Před rokem +5

    My father is a very hard-working man, I will always be grateful for everything he gave us; my grandfather, I mean, his father was a bit aggressive, he grew up abusive, he has a rude way of talking, sometimes he's just talking normally but it seems like he's scolding you but it's just his way of talking, I have a hatred for He, when I was a girl, liked to make me angry on purpose, he was amused, I feel like he's kind of stupid, despite being grateful to him, there's something that doesn't let me get into him, I don't even like to talk to him, hardly He talks and it already makes me angry, it's as if his presence bothers me

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem

      Appreciate you sharing some of your story, and wishing you all my best in the next steps on your healing journey - these are important issues and it seems like you’re progressively gaining awareness🌲

  • @Elvira239
    @Elvira239 Před rokem +1

    "Too much, too close" is the best summary of my childhood I've ever seen.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +2

      Sorry to hear this, although I'm pleased to have provided some words that resonated and hope the video proved supportive.

  • @carlorizzo827
    @carlorizzo827 Před rokem

    Many thanks Jordan. I often split/ dissociate watching your videos, this time it's scathingly vivid. How incremental is recovery, things i heard about, worked through, made peace with so much. Only to be reminded how fragile peace is. More to work through

  • @jamescooper4863
    @jamescooper4863 Před rokem +6

    Another great video
    Thankyou so much Jordan. I'm reading through a number of your book recommendations now and words can't explain how beneficial I'm finding them
    I deeply appreciate the day I found your channel
    Wishing you all the best,
    James

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +2

      Brother, this kind of comment makes my day - happy to be here and will continue to do what I can to support your process 🌲

  • @awakening-games
    @awakening-games Před rokem +3

    Thank you for this wise sharing Jordan! I also want to add, that many times mothers may not bad mouth absent fathers, on the contrary my mother spoke well of my father, however the feeling she had towards him is the one of neglect and abandonment, and so her words and emotions were not aligned! This is something that kept me locked into not seeing or feeling the neglect and abandonment !

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem

      Yes, many possible dynamics for different couples! Thank you for sharing some of your story and hope this video was valuable for you!

  • @LAMM117
    @LAMM117 Před rokem +2

    This makes so much sense to me and had this experience heavily in my most recent relationship

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem

      It's illuminating to recognise the origin of the pattern, and I'm pleased to see that you are unravelling the past and choosing different. Keep going.

  • @shoot2killfilms
    @shoot2killfilms Před rokem +1

    Your channel has helped me so much , I’m so grateful Jordan thank you so much for sharing your knowledge, it’s shed so much light on what I need to do to start healing myself .

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem

      It’s truly my pleasure! Appreciate your attention!

  • @michellew5641
    @michellew5641 Před rokem +1

    Yes.
    Thank you, Jordan.

  • @TheMayatz
    @TheMayatz Před 10 měsíci +1

    Your videos are extremely informative, thank you 😊 From a psych2go video I understood that I have 3, and not one, dad-daughter toxic relationship types. The pampering father, the toxic father (my mom is really toxic too, even more than him, and she constantly fights with my dad) and the anguished father, most prominent. So it's complex. I actually told my mom that I do TRE, Trauma realease excersice, and she replied, what trauma? Apperantly she doesn't know me at all, because I've had a tough childhood (even if happy), I was angry because I was hurt, and I could be really sad. In highschool and middleschool I was really lonely and deppresed, and suffered from insomnia. So badly, that one day I almost fell asleep in class and awoke myself immediately. I've also had some honestly life altering occurences, which were the bottom of the chasm of negativity. For example, I've tried to disconnect from a friend, which wasn't really my friend, and I've written for her smth for closure, and she harrased me with 30-40 messages and phone calls, even though I blocked her from my phone, and demanded money for her trip - even for a PJ that I wore and she "doesn't want to wear now because she feels bad from me" or smth - and my mother says I'm not traumatic... sorry for being out of context, just wanted to share. I'll start healing my father wound through this video and the books you recommended, and through numeral other long and/or informative videos about the father wound.

  • @claireodriscoll1856
    @claireodriscoll1856 Před rokem +3

    Very good. I had heard of the mother wound but not the father wound so far. It is definitely a challenge to step back and reevaluate the moral and ethical integrity of your father as in an ideal world he should have been the one "educating" you. Some people aim to please their father all their life. Also in an ideal world, parents don't want their children to please them, they support their children to become who they are.

  • @robbo3132
    @robbo3132 Před 6 měsíci

    This is amazing

  • @MayasDream
    @MayasDream Před 5 měsíci

    Your voice is really quite healing.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před 5 měsíci

      Happy to be teaching in this space, thank you 🌲

  • @swetamudaliar1135
    @swetamudaliar1135 Před rokem +1

    I'm very grateful for this video. I've heard a lot about the Mother Wound, but very little about the Father Wound thus far

  • @greissysucilla
    @greissysucilla Před rokem

    Beautiful video. Thank you so so much for what you do, it really helps me out a lot❤

  • @maismadi6189
    @maismadi6189 Před rokem +2

    Love you jordan I’m lucky to find your Chanel it’s real treasure

  • @alsdean
    @alsdean Před rokem +1

    This is a great video! Also very suiting my day-to-day inner struggles, thank you ! :)

  • @gailaltschwager7377
    @gailaltschwager7377 Před rokem

    Thank you!

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +1

      You're welcome! It’s a hard but worthwhile topic 🌲

    • @gailaltschwager7377
      @gailaltschwager7377 Před rokem

      @@jordanthornton You constantly challenge me to learn more and grow. Thank you, Jordan!

  • @sceneryjay8791
    @sceneryjay8791 Před rokem

    Thank you for this 🙏🏻👍🏻

  • @latsyrk714
    @latsyrk714 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Very informative. My father passed when I was 8 and my mother become my father figure as well, I noticed I tend to go to men who have her same characteristic traits.

  • @jordanthornton
    @jordanthornton  Před rokem +2

    *Want your question answered in the next episode? Here are the Inner Work themes and concerns which I am currently prioritising:*
    - Trauma Healing & Trauma Release
    - Parts Work & Subpersonalities
    - Jungian Psychology & Archetypes
    - Transpersonal Psychology / Healing
    - Self Education & Research Suggestions
    - Masculine / Feminine Dynamics
    - Addiction, Recovery & Sobriety
    In the spirit of doing this work together, and extending our genuine concern for others, I invite you to consider phrasing your question to serve on behalf of both yourself and the silent stranger across the ocean who is seeking the exact same answers as you, but might not be willing to get directly involved.
    We experience our internal worlds independently, but we are remarkably interwoven at our essence. I find this zoom-out awareness connective and comforting, so I naturally welcome your individual perspective while also looking forward to watching this series unfold at the particular intersection between personal circumstances and broader collective challenges.
    In terms of question boundaries and guidelines, these videos are not an opportunity for long personal essays or indiscriminate trauma dumping. Self-reflective writing is suitable for private journaling, but clearly inappropriate for a public video series. I hope this is obvious, but perhaps worth stating nonetheless.
    *Question Length: I kindly request that you limit your question to a maximum of two concise sentences.*
    Important: Comment replies do not show up in my notification box. Please post your question as a new comment on this video, otherwise I will not see your message.

  • @kandondooley89
    @kandondooley89 Před rokem +3

    Great Vid, Jordan! I was actually thinking about this the other day. My father was murdered when I was two(he was 23) so I had no choice in the matter. However, other does make me wonder how much of this was spun by fate into putting the pressure on me to become the man I'm supposed to be anyway and Blaze my own trail. Something to think about

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +3

      It’s one of those ‘make or break’ situations, hey? I’m glad that you found your strength and continue to walk the path - alternatives cannot be known but it sounds like you’ve got a healthy and healed outlook.

  • @dylanlawrenceholland3295

    great video, hadn't considered the fact that this may have impacted me

  • @badmojjo
    @badmojjo Před rokem +1

    The brutal an theatrical Jung's discourse is probably the best wake up call... In my case, that's a good antidote for apathy.
    Thank you for your work and this video.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +1

      Jung can be savage - glad that I chose to include his quotes to introduce the topic!

  • @robbo3132
    @robbo3132 Před 6 měsíci

    Full credit for this video👏👏dark topic but you went full frontal ....thank you❤

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před 6 měsíci

      Always try to be as direct as I can with these - cheers!

  • @zinasherif7791
    @zinasherif7791 Před rokem +1

    Very interesting !
    I’ve tried to avoid men who resemble my father’s archetype, and married someone who is the opposite in every sense possible. I divorced of course and fell madly and irrationally in love with someone who is identical to my father and I thought I had found heaven on earth until he triggered the father complex and made me look into it and feel the deep pain and wounding that was inflicted during childhood.
    Luckily the relationship did not last long because I took a conscious secession to exit the father’s nightmarish universe after realizing the lessons and the pain.
    I’m liberated from codependency after the divorce and after the fucked up romantic relationship I had with a man who reminded me of a father I was always running away from..
    Thanks Jordan for this video 🙏🏽🌈

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem

      You are most welcome, and thank you for sharing some of your healing journey here. I'm sure it will inspire somebody reading this.

  • @shadowsisterhealing
    @shadowsisterhealing Před rokem +2

    Thank you🙏This is very confronting video and I sent it to my ex and father of my child saying I dont want my child to have daddy issues so watch this video now! I always wondered if I have daddy issues as my dad is really important for me but I had healthy strong father who has loved me very much and that is a big blessing. Best memories i have with him are about us skiing together in Finland in wilderness since I was very little, even knowing he already carried me on his back on his ski trips as a baby. My only problem has been that he has very strong frame and has been very strict as well brutally honest about what he thinks. But he surely taught me to be strong. So I have looked more towards free spirited men in my own relationships but so often I have found these men are wounded and they have daddy issues. And I didnt realise how bad it can be if a man is wounded having daddy issues and I was naive about it until my ex cheated me very badly. That moment I could actually understand his family background and the pain he always felt about it but I got drag into that cheating family dynamics and he hurt me with it very badly like poison. I lost sense of secure feeling for a while and this happened just before Covid started so the darkness just got more dense with the world closing. Eventually I have found my strenght back. Its been a journey to recover from all the lies and hurt and the fact that he abandoned me with all bills alone with a small child just before christmas. I have end up to be the secure person in my relationships and I am still that maybe because I did had the base to go back to. So I could have let him cut all contact as his family does but I have not let him do it. I have constantly let him be dad still and encouraged him about it. For me family is a big value and I focus on good. My child sometimes complains he argues with him but I keep encouraging them to talk and solve any issues they might have. He moved to different city when we separated and last autumn I moved also to the same city to make our life easier. It was hard choice for me as I knew nobody in this city and he is still with the new woman but this move has been very positive for everyone. I live on other side of city so we dont see other than exchanging our child. I am doing my best to be the healthy parent for my son and making good choices now when I am more aware. Keep up good work!📚

  • @laylasayed708
    @laylasayed708 Před rokem

    I also thought you would not leave such an important issue uncovered. The descriptive qualities you spoke of are really important, mine were too far, too hot. I got into healing from this long ago when I first read about narcissism, but it really clicked a while ago after reading „adult children of emotionally immature parents“ and all its other parts, it has been really helpful for me to learn to care for myself and listen to my own voice and identify it among all the other unhelpful voices. Another recommendation of yours in another video was „homecoming“ which I found also really helpful, however not easy.
    It’s not that easy for me reading scientific literature in a foreign language so I did not read for Jung so far, however I really wanted to since long. I cannot know now the direct link between Jung and father complex, but hopefully when I read it, i will be able to understand more.
    Again thank you 🙏🏻

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem

      Layla, it's my absolute pleasure to have had this impact - only seeing your comment just now. Thank you for taking the time to share, and I'm wishing you well for your next steps.

  • @jackthompson5097
    @jackthompson5097 Před rokem +2

    That was a pleasant surprise! I was holding Jung’s Map of the Soul, by Murray Stein in my hand while you held it up, by pure coincidence. How crazy is that?

  • @jedors5575
    @jedors5575 Před 5 měsíci

    My father has many narcissistic traits. I’ve tried guessing what type of childhood my father had for him to be so devoid of humanity. I don’t remember a time where I genuinely liked him as a person because he is simply a dreadful, awful person. He has landed himself in jail multiple times for physical assault against his girlfriends and my mother. I’ve never met someone so malicious, spiteful, and hateful. I don’t remember 95% of what that man said because it was usually paranoid nonsense, making some type of violent, aggressive threat towards someone or saying to me “…And that’s why you’re going to be just like your mother” starting as early as 5 years old. Just a year ago he told my sister he hates women and told her “no offense”. I haven’t spoken to him in 4 years so thought “I should be over it” but I recognize the rage and pain that built up over the years and I want to work through it. Your videos seem to make a worlds difference in my healing journey. It’s given me so much perspective. Keep up the great work!

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před 5 měsíci

      Appreciate you sharing some of your story here, and I hope the channel keeps supporting you 🌲

  • @andreiadetavora8471
    @andreiadetavora8471 Před rokem

    Thank you so much for this video!!! Its a good help for me

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +1

      Thank you for sharing some of your story here - glad to know you’ve been finding you way, Andreia 🌲

  • @ADHDologia
    @ADHDologia Před 10 měsíci

    I bought Stein's book on Amazon 3 minutes after you first brought it up in this video. Gotta say, you're really good at sales 😂

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před 10 měsíci

      Gotta love applying these sales skills to books which I make zero profit from 😂 - heart where it counts, enjoy!

  • @lovingsister3112
    @lovingsister3112 Před 7 měsíci +1

    I forgive him. I understand why he is like he is, and I also see the wounded child in him who is struggling with the world and its place.
    But the work isn't done. I'm still afraid of my father. His presence is still weighting on me.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před 7 měsíci

      Mature perspective, and an honest reflection here. Wishing you well 🌲

  • @rebeccassofa
    @rebeccassofa Před rokem +3

    My Dad is so passive. As a child I don't remember feeling safety or warmth coming from him. He was always working to provide for us. He left parenting to my mum, who was the complete opposite. She was controlling and had no boundaries with me. I have no idea what all this means. I told my dad the other day that I was sexually assaulted as a 17 year old by a 45 year old male who groomed me. He had no reaction, I've never felt protected by him. He's an emotional cripple (his own exact words, not mine) I've no idea how to heal from this. 😢

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +1

      I’m sorry to hear this, Rebecca - and hope you continue to find the next steps as they appear. Wishing you well.

    • @rebeccassofa
      @rebeccassofa Před rokem

      @Jordan Thornton - Inner Work thank you so much ❤️

    • @SusanaXpeace2u
      @SusanaXpeace2u Před 9 měsíci +1

      Oh same, the message I got was "no man will stand up for you, nobody's in your corner".

    • @SusanaXpeace2u
      @SusanaXpeace2u Před 9 měsíci +4

      I relate to you. I told my dad something that upset me and he made a joke. He said "I wish somebody would grope me on the bus". My throat swelled up so tight I couldn't breath. His apathy upset me more. Xxxx

    • @rebeccassofa
      @rebeccassofa Před 9 měsíci +2

      @SusanaXpeace2u that's just not on at all. It's the complete lack of understanding about our feelings 💔 I'm so sorry that happened to you. Its sexual assault! It's happened to so many people its just insane to me how others can disrespect personal boundaries. Sending you a hug 🫂

  • @MrStrocube
    @MrStrocube Před rokem +1

    My father was an asshole. My very first memory of him was a brutal beating when I was 5-years-old. He’s been dead to me for over 30 years. Can’t believe the bastard is still alive. Only the good die young.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +1

      I’m sorry to hear this brother - I hope this video offered some perspectives to support your work here. Keep going man 🌲

  • @tashselva
    @tashselva Před měsícem

    Youuuuuu ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

  • @mtrisi
    @mtrisi Před rokem +1

    Hello. I watched your recent sobriety video and thought a main point was perfect (sobriety => clarity used to face oneself), I now stumbled upon this video & looked at your channel, and I think there is a lot I can learn from you. Will you make a video on the mother wound? Thank you for creating and sharing.

    • @mtrisi
      @mtrisi Před rokem

      random feedback: It could be cool/helpful to show the quote you read in the beginning on the screen. I could use closed captions, but some other channels I watch which reference literature do this and it's wonderful. love you btw

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem

      Mother wound video is scheduled already - yes! On the way 🌲

  • @neoreign
    @neoreign Před rokem

    This one is tough for me, let's watch the video and see.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem

      It’s a really challenging topic - thank you for being willing to do this work. Let me know what you think 🌲

    • @neoreign
      @neoreign Před rokem

      @@jordanthornton couldn't even watch more than 5 mins of it.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem

      @@neoreign Appreciate your honesty - I do recommend staying all the way through where I do give some practical suggestions to make things better. But understand nonetheless and wishing you well.

  • @Slipping_thru_the_Seams
    @Slipping_thru_the_Seams Před 8 měsíci +1

    thanks for this illuminating video. you got me thinking that watching some shows with healthy fathers in them could help construct a better image of the father archetype internally. anyone got suggestions?

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před 8 měsíci +2

      Great question - I've screenshotted and will see if I can do a followup!

  • @dh9322
    @dh9322 Před rokem +1

    e-motion = energies in motion

  • @jasperp1872
    @jasperp1872 Před rokem +1

    Thank you for making this video. I am currently working through your inner work essentials and it has helped me tremendously.
    The qualities of proximity, intensity, and emotional texture are impossible to identify for my father. My father suffers from bipolar disorder type 1, with psychoses and all. There were moments he was very distant and absent, and he would took zero interest in me, and there were moments that he was very close and overly invested, and very intense. On both ends of the spectrum he was emotionally abusive and manipulative, so at least there was some consistency in that.
    All this makes it almost impossible for me to get a clear picture of who my father was and is and understanding him and our past relationship has been a major struggle in my healing process. I wanted to share this and I wonder whether anyone has any insights on where to go from here and how I could approach understanding my father better.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +2

      Sounds like a confusing and distressing situation - it may be required for you to paint out at least two 'versions' of his character and then work with both. Sometimes this happens, but it can be worked with.

    • @jasperp1872
      @jasperp1872 Před rokem

      @@jordanthornton thank you for replying. That means a lot to me

  • @ritevibe
    @ritevibe Před rokem

    with deep gratitude for the work you are doing, and how you are helping my life (and many others i am sure) at this time...seriously, you are a God send Jordan! ✌🙏💚 p.s. im still curious how you colour code what you read ?

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem

      I answered this question in a video from 3 months ago titled: “How I read 550 psychology books in 3 years” - check it out and thank you! 🌲

    • @ritevibe
      @ritevibe Před rokem

      @@jordanthornton Thanks Jordan - i just went over there and watched that video - well i'll be !! Those highlighted colours are nothing, but just distractions to keep you interested & motivated...haha... so simple, and i get it now! Sooo clever! 🤪

  • @logang1470
    @logang1470 Před rokem

    Jordan, I remember watching a video of yours discussing astrology or a topic which overlapped with it. You discussed your personal history with the subject and keeping a healthy relationship to it. Could you or someone else possibly point me back to that episode? I briefly scoured your video feed but cannot remember which one it was.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem

      Episode 44/52 of inner work essentials - thumbnail has a big picture of Saturn calling me a nerd. Title “Stop It, Saturn! How Astrology…”

  • @nicolechown2249
    @nicolechown2249 Před 4 měsíci

    Hi Jordan, Just at beginning would you suggest that in say, D Violence situations the man - father imago has constellated the father complex in the woman?

  • @MichaelWilliams-bx2ty
    @MichaelWilliams-bx2ty Před rokem +4

    Can you do a video on the mother wound? Cause holy cow.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +1

      Yes. Screenshotted - I've already lined up the next five weeks, but should be able to return to this within two months.

    • @MichaelWilliams-bx2ty
      @MichaelWilliams-bx2ty Před rokem

      @@jordanthornton Thanks Jordan!

  • @spiderqueen601
    @spiderqueen601 Před 3 měsíci

    My father was too close and hot with his own needs and too far and cold for any basic thing I needed.

  • @hugocrabb9465
    @hugocrabb9465 Před rokem

    Hi Jordan, I’ve been considering your comment regarding constellating a new positive masculine archetype. I was wondering what you think of the book Males and Females by Margaret Meade - it’s an anthropology book (quite old) - could this be a good way to constellate a healthy image for an ideal father? My aim is 1. Psycho-educate 2. Read anthropology

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem

      I haven't read that book in particular, but anthropology is an area of study that I likewise look into when studying patterns of maleness and femaless. I've got some books on cultural sociology as well which certainly compliment the more 'mythic and symbolic' approach of people like Carl Jung.
      If you're aiming for psychoeducation, you won't go wrong with anthroplogy or evolutionary biology! Good luck, Hugo. Feel free to keep me updated on quality books you find - always searching.

  • @dianevierra781
    @dianevierra781 Před rokem

    Nothing to say yet, there's a lot to process. I'll add more later.

  • @SusanaXpeace2u
    @SusanaXpeace2u Před 9 měsíci

    My father is so weak. He always berates me for hurting mum when i stand up for myself. My brother is so enmeshed with my controlling mother. None of them realise it, but im the 'man' of the family now, so to speak. I was the scapegoat but i have come to terms with it now.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před 9 měsíci

      Im sorry to hear this, and hope you continue to find the clarity you seek - keep going 🌲

  • @synchronicity67
    @synchronicity67 Před rokem +1

    May be another topic but
    Wld u say that eg a largely 'absent ' father (or mother too) cld also be 1 of d reasons for being attracted to the same sex as an adult? Had read a couple of books in which this was explained..
    My instincts said this was very much true n I did try to give those books to a male friend of mine goin thru ssa but he didn't take it too well!
    Maybe i ought to stick with figuring out my own father issues😜 not trying to another's 😏 but wld love to have yr views n thoughts on this..thanks

    • @ritevibe
      @ritevibe Před rokem

      i've often wondered this too - i think your onto something here. I'd love to know what Jordan thinks about this?

    • @carlorizzo827
      @carlorizzo827 Před rokem

      Thank you. I am perpetually perplexed by th question How did i become homo/bi. 3 explanations occurred to me: 1. Strong feminine identification 2. Repulsion from women due to how violent were my ma & sis 3. Eroticized father, to whom i fled for protection. (He was violent also but with words, never w/his hands. I give my Pop credit, he humbled himself, apologized, we became friends in later years. In the end, his violent nature asserted itself when he took his own life by overdose at 85) An assault when i was 1 left me partially castrated, undiagnosed til i was 20 & repaired surgically. Although i am normal re having erections, my ability to climax is severely impaired. This deeply saddens my lovers, as they conclude they do not please me. I resigned from dating, am unable to pairbond, either gender. Psychologists call fear of being touched "tactile defensive". Paradoxically i was drawn to professions of touch: gymnastics teacher, dancer, childcare, bodyworker. I adore the female body, including the blood. I'd like to ask patriarchy: What the heck is your problem w/a little blood. I'm grateful for the women in my life, whose message to me has been "umm carlo we're not like your ma & sis". While i am erotically drawn to men, and men are talented at simulating the oppositeness, in some way the oppositeness with women feels authentic.

  • @ogwilym
    @ogwilym Před rokem +1

    I like your hat

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +6

      Thanks - helps me heal my father complex 😉

    • @ogwilym
      @ogwilym Před rokem

      Need to get one of those

  • @JanKatrinaGuanzon
    @JanKatrinaGuanzon Před 3 měsíci

    I was waiting for the some concrete examples on how to heal the father wound or steps of individuation but I did not 😅

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před 3 měsíci +1

      Consider picking up the recommended book from around 5:20 - it's a deep dive, and the principles are very much what I focus on here. Wishing you well and hope you enjoy the other videos too!

    • @JanKatrinaGuanzon
      @JanKatrinaGuanzon Před 3 měsíci

      @@jordanthornton I like learning about them. Appreciate you for making these informative videos and all. Thanks! 🙂

  • @VegabondSam
    @VegabondSam Před 10 měsíci +2

    What is the impact when your father died at age 5? I assume that relates to proximity.

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před 10 měsíci +1

      Certainly, you’ll find good information if you look around the term ‘absent father psychology’ or ‘father wound’ - good luck 🌲

    • @SusanaXpeace2u
      @SusanaXpeace2u Před 9 měsíci

      My dad's mum died when he was 7 and I think he went out into adulthood with "tell me what to do" energy. It comforts him I think. My mum encouraged him in some ways but she is controlling and his "strength" comes from backing up a tyrant. He hasn't found his own strength. As his daughter, it frustrates me to know that I'm stronger on my own than he is as her foot soldier. But they are happy together, it's me that finds their dynamic dysfunctional, not them.

    • @VegabondSam
      @VegabondSam Před 9 měsíci

      Wow. That is a bit of the dynamic I experience in my relationship. I am a pushover, even though I am physically 193cm. @@SusanaXpeace2u

  • @victorianicholson6850
    @victorianicholson6850 Před 11 měsíci

    Hi Jordan. Firstly thanks for your content here. I wanted to ask if I as a woman had an absent father who my mum slagged off constantly. Who was also involved in my two older sisters lives but never mine. Mum alcoholic, the step dad alcoholic. How do I go about healing both the mother and father wounds? I struggle greatly with low self worth. Always feel like someone is going to come along better than I and rake my man. Women are a threat. And both are not to be trusted. This is my absolute gut truth. Jealousy and angst are always there. So relationships end. I'm tired of it all. I want to give and receive love. The father of my two boys is amazing. A fantastic. Dad and even though we are not together we live ad a family so the boys are secure. I don't want to continue like this. I am in recovery AA 23 years sober. I have just started reparenting my inner family and I have just started jungian analysis. Can you recommend anything other. Thank you. ☆

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před 11 měsíci +1

      I appreciate your comment, although I'm not sure if I can give you a satisfactory answer to your situation in a youtube comment! I've recommended hundreds of books on this channel and they are really some of your best bets for finding multi-perspecitve answers to your particular situation - feel free to click around and find some guidance there. Hope this helps.

    • @victorianicholson6850
      @victorianicholson6850 Před 11 měsíci

      @@jordanthornton thanks Jordon. I appreciate the time you have taken to respond and also your reply.
      I am determined to do the work to be free. I will take on your suggestions. Best regards Victoria

  • @anamei9923
    @anamei9923 Před rokem

    🙏🏽💖

  • @HAPPY-ev4kx
    @HAPPY-ev4kx Před 11 měsíci

    so to heal my daddy issues I should reparent my self? that's it?

  • @harry356
    @harry356 Před rokem

    I never connected my lack of and struggle with male friendships to my father. I was (am) mostly only interested in female company for the potential romantic relationship (that I have because of my mother issues lol).
    It does make sense. Thanks for bringing that up.

  • @opsaras4087
    @opsaras4087 Před rokem

    Is he the person who created bootstrap

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem

      Excuse me?

    • @opsaras4087
      @opsaras4087 Před rokem

      @@jordanthornton bro r u the person who created bootstrap

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem

      @@opsaras4087 I have no idea what that is haha

    • @opsaras4087
      @opsaras4087 Před rokem

      @@jordanthornton no problem bro 👍

    • @opsaras4087
      @opsaras4087 Před rokem

      @@jordanthornton btw u know the creater of bootstrap are Jordan and Mike thorton

  • @sinaloa996
    @sinaloa996 Před rokem +1

    Can you do a video about mothers . I am 27 yo male and still cuddle with my mother . She is very controlling

    • @jordanthornton
      @jordanthornton  Před rokem +2

      You don't need me to do a video on this topic to know that this situation needs to change. I'm not sure how you got into this dynamic, but you have the power to remove yourself - don't let this continue. You got this.

    • @sinaloa996
      @sinaloa996 Před rokem

      @@jordanthornton is it that bad ? Wow . Can you please recomend a book or something witch would help me start on my journey ?