"Lies Bind, Truth Frees" : Narcissistic Abuse Deconstructed

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  • čas přidán 5. 03. 2018
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Komentáře • 596

  • @RICHARDGRANNON
    @RICHARDGRANNON  Před 4 lety +21

    0:10 Getting Started
    1:49 All Of Us Have A Monster Inside
    4:30 Re-defining Love For Ourselves
    7:11 Truth Frees, Lies Bind
    10:36 You Can Truth Your Way Out Of Heartbreak
    12:14 The Path Of Lies
    14:02 How Narcissists Recruit You For A Certain Role And Punish You If You Don't Do What You're Told
    19:49 Commit To Truth, Commit To Moving Forward
    20:53 Courses That Can Help You

    • @caitlinbell2144
      @caitlinbell2144 Před 4 lety +1

      Thankyou v much mr richie
      Exciting new corses,.. another thankyou

    • @johno8562
      @johno8562 Před 4 lety

      Genius. ♥️

    • @johno8562
      @johno8562 Před 4 lety

      Give me my face book likes supply 😂😂😂😂💪 ! Legend ♥️👍

    • @itz_toca_Max
      @itz_toca_Max Před 4 lety

      You said “whereas *love* is always going to imprison you” at 7:39. Obviously, you meant to say “lies” there. Just thought I’d let you know. Lol.
      Fucking brilliant analysis, btw. I especially liked 12:13-13:05. You perfectly explained why my ex-girlfriend was always lying, manipulating, and gaslighting me. I’ve been racking my brain for two years wondering how a person could live with themselves while being such an obvious liar. You gave me my answer. Thanks for all your insights. Keep them coming!

    • @victorhugovillatoro
      @victorhugovillatoro Před 3 lety

      This is pure gold!! Thank you!!!

  • @dianaparks1934
    @dianaparks1934 Před 6 lety +352

    One of my favorite quotes is Carl Sagan's: "If it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth."

    • @dharmadharma3960
      @dharmadharma3960 Před 6 lety +7

      Diana Curran thats great

    • @Mr13wonderboy77
      @Mr13wonderboy77 Před 6 lety +15

      That's such a powerful statement, especially these days when truth seems to be an afterthought.

    • @bodyattune6928
      @bodyattune6928 Před 6 lety +6

      I love this. Thank you.

    • @RICHARDGRANNON
      @RICHARDGRANNON  Před 6 lety +25

      Its a cool quote but sadly its a misattribution.
      www.snopes.com/fact-check/truth-carl-sagan-quote/
      The original quote from a sci fi novel is stil pretty cool though
      "That which can be destroyed by the truth should be”

    • @dianaparks1934
      @dianaparks1934 Před 6 lety +15

      Wow - I'm embarrassed, especially since I research for a living and here on a video about truth, I extended (unwittingly and unintentionally) a false belief. Thanks Richard, as what Sagan did write might be even better: "One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back." That sounds familiar, doesn't it?

  • @ninaelwart9460
    @ninaelwart9460 Před 6 lety +145

    Remember all you bright shiny people ......Bugs are attracted to the light...

    • @yeahnahsweetas
      @yeahnahsweetas Před 6 lety +9

      Hey you shouldn't talk about bugs like that

    • @cindystephens9066
      @cindystephens9066 Před 5 lety +1

      Very good analogy with the Ring....love everything you say.....so enlightening !

    • @j.m.waterfordasxiphanex3738
      @j.m.waterfordasxiphanex3738 Před 5 lety +2

      Nina Elwart I prefer Matthew Vaughn's "STARDUST" (2007) take on the power of brightness.

    • @mobyfield49
      @mobyfield49 Před 4 lety

      Oh sooooo good!! Xoxo

  • @monizoe3188
    @monizoe3188 Před 6 lety +33

    I always did say about my parents, it's their world, I just live in it. People thought I was being funny but all the scapegoating, neglect and abandonment wasn't funny. They only addressed me if I praised them or gave them something. ..Monsters to this day

  • @e.m.4866
    @e.m.4866 Před 6 lety +48

    Excellent motives for healing: “There is another side to this. There is an out. And you are going to have to go through some painful experiences, I think. I haven’t seen another way of it but through. And that’s transcendence. And it’s an initiation, it’s a trial by fire, and it hurts. But on the other side of it is freedom, is love, is the capacity to love again, and the capacity to be loved again, which is grace itself.”

  • @Hysteriafish828
    @Hysteriafish828 Před 6 lety +105

    I have recently escaped.... 3 weeks ago, 50 years old and two children later....l have a lot of growing up to do, l don't mind....l am happy to...l feel free for the first time!

    • @KrystalLioness
      @KrystalLioness Před 6 lety +26

      We are never too old. I'm almost 54 and just now living my life on my terms. :D

    • @jackielove2737
      @jackielove2737 Před 6 lety +11

      CONGRATULATIONS!

    • @ctwofirst6635
      @ctwofirst6635 Před 6 lety +19

      I'm 62. Free for two years now.

    • @Hysteriafish828
      @Hysteriafish828 Před 6 lety +12

      Wow.......I thought l was the oldest, in fact l ask myself why did it take so long! Life begins at 50 then!
      Thank you l appreciate your replies

    • @sheilamc3420
      @sheilamc3420 Před 6 lety +13

      So great for all of us! I'm 53 this year and LOVE being in my fifties. Just wait, you will see, there's something just good about it. 50 is a number about freedom and expansion, and it's a LOT of freedom and expansion... Have the most fun of your life every day, ditch the narc and just keep it moving. Hugs!

  • @Austin-ch5cj
    @Austin-ch5cj Před 6 lety +32

    I wish I could have Richard as my counseling one on one. He's one of the bigger reasons why I don't commit suicide. He's no bullshit and really appreciate that.. So blessed that I found this channel.

  • @Ishtar2419
    @Ishtar2419 Před 6 lety +78

    Well said, exactly what I told him my life with him was like. I was an actor in his movie but he never gave me a script, he just made up the story line as he went along. I didn't agree to the plot of the movie so he discarded me, many times. 25 years and 2 children and he wanted to give me a small part in his movie, just a bit actor, just a fill in role when no one else was available, but this time I said no. It has been a journey and after all those years of emotional trauma I am trying to find myself again.
    Thanks for all your good advice Richard, you've helped me on so many levels.😢😊😉

  • @kaleidojess
    @kaleidojess Před 6 lety +13

    “I’m a star eater, I devour light, so bring it to me” that’s so well said. That metaphor.

  • @llove8530
    @llove8530 Před 6 lety +61

    A guy turned up to his psychotherapist appointment wearing see thru pants. The therapist said, ‘You better sit down... I can clearly see your nuts’.

    • @sonicfoxxmusic4281
      @sonicfoxxmusic4281 Před 4 lety +3

      1 whole year and nobody made an attempt to thank you for making them laugh...
      ....thank you L Love.....great joke...still laughing now.

    • @deb2319
      @deb2319 Před 4 lety

      L Love lol

  • @nickbargas7352
    @nickbargas7352 Před 6 lety +41

    When you are able to make it past the disbelief, anger, confusion, fear and most importantly the PAIN you will be enlightened to a level of understanding that is beyond this world. When you are able to understand your true self and connect with a higher power you will then understand your purpose for being on earth. You will then understand the meaning of life as if you have seen the holy grail. I wish everyone to reach this level of understanding and build on the knowledge of your true purpose. Love unconditionally in your heart but don't be a punching bag to any type of abuse from ANYONE. We were created by the most beautiful and kind creator that is beyond our comprehension, but just know that our creator wants us to understand. It's my belief that narcissists are on this earth as a port hole to awaken us from living a lie and start living in the truth. Once you have seen the light that is when you will actually start living. I love you Richard, I love your energy and I love your message!!

    • @nickbargas7352
      @nickbargas7352 Před 6 lety +6

      Your feelings are yours and no ones else. We live on a planet that allow us to have free will(choice) so just remember what you put out onto the universe is what will come back. Your brain gives you your own perception of how you want to view this topic. "So what then" you just need to be around longer until you understand. It's a feeling that is unexplainable that is connected with the universe. There is an energy and vibration that is connected somehow is the best way I can describe it. Unfortunately religion has clouded the real truth of how we are all one being and religion has hidden behind a poor rational of committing outrageous atrocities. Our true creator is only LOVE and nothing else.

    • @sheilamc3420
      @sheilamc3420 Před 6 lety

      Thank you, this is lovely!

    • @myowncoachdot6683
      @myowncoachdot6683 Před 4 lety

      Thank you Nick Bargas! I made a video about exactelly this but I haven't posted it yet. This is encouragement. Thank you!

    • @victoriamd9078
      @victoriamd9078 Před 3 lety

      Thanks for the hope that awaits me

  • @lemonylimeclementhyme
    @lemonylimeclementhyme Před 6 lety +18

    "I'm a star eater, I devour light." Poetry. Wonderful video, as always, you never disappoint.

  • @elinamiezite4410
    @elinamiezite4410 Před 6 lety +22

    Richy, You are a beautiful, decent human being and You're making a huge difference in some people's lives. God bless You (if there is one)!

  • @1Wendy_Woo
    @1Wendy_Woo Před 6 lety +39

    Liars are the worst! I just don't understand the liar. The inability of speaking the truth. {{perplexed}}
    Honesty is the best policy.

    • @miac7088
      @miac7088 Před 6 lety +3

      Yeah, and even worse than a liar? Someone who semi-consciously misinterprets the sun rising in the morning and moon appearing in the night sky. Then, that person goes on to misinform others and confuse plain reality with a more scandalous half truth. All while somehow, laboring under the misapprehension that they are speaking truthfully.

    • @ajitkumardas7561
      @ajitkumardas7561 Před 5 lety +3

      Liars may not be manipulating. Manipulators lie and hide truth. Beautiful video.

  • @sheilamc3420
    @sheilamc3420 Před 6 lety +11

    Nobody teaches us anything about our Darkside, well, at least nobody taught me. Instead I was told just NOT to have one.. It's Bad. About 4 years ago One of my teachers told me this advice at he end of a counseling session : "Enough about the light, Sheila, we all know you've mastered that one really well. What you need to do, kid, is learn to Navigate in the Dark. "
    Great advice for me!

  • @blumystery8828
    @blumystery8828 Před 6 lety +63

    Real eyes, realize... REAL lies😓🤕👀🦋💟🕊

  • @Stardustceiling
    @Stardustceiling Před 6 lety +17

    Sorry this comment is so long. I can't seem to just write in short sentences for the most part. The movie as their life analogy, is really helpful. That has actually been the worst part of coming to awareness in studying this subject of narcissism and co-dependency. That you were living, or attempting to live a regular life with love in it. They were in a competition with you and never saw your relationship as a win-win situation. YOU, diligently working away to make it so. THEM, sabotaging, undermining you, lying, doing all these things you couldn't wrap your head around because that's not love. Then they'd say the " lines " you needed to hear to keep you hooked and believing.
    It's like the movie " The Truman Show " and we're Truman. Sure as an adult we can understand about liars and manipulators out there in the world. But how do you understand the person you loved and trusted, was intimate with and slept next to for years, you thought a really good person, the best of people, secretly being one of them? Then once you realize it to some degree, because I still struggle with having been that used and gullible. Then how do you EVER love again? I know they say take it slow, and I can do that no problem. But I feel like this break up of everything I held dear and invested a large chunk of my precious life in, broke that ability to trust another. Also the other awful reveal is that all I've had in my life was these types of people. My parents, boyfriends and friends in the past all of them. Sure now that I know " how to see " them I can avoid them. But I feel as though I will end up alone since I have never attracted non-narcs. I want regular and non-disordered people in my life, where are they?
    It really is like what Richard used to say, like taking " the red pill " in the movie " The Matrix. " You can't go back and so you have to heal, but the healing seems so intangible. You just have to love yourself and take care of yourself and it just magically comes about. Dr. Ross Rosenberg says that when you do that, you don't attract them anymore. Sounds great, sign me up. lol But that seems too simple a statement and I wonder if for us who can't afford lots of time with a good psychologist....If it's more just avoid them and stay safe. Which sounds lonely. I feel isolated from others, and there isn't the connection I need, because everyone seems fake. At least in The Matrix he was surrounded by other people who understood and were like him. He wasn't alone. But in the real world you can't even talk about this stuff. No one would believe you and they'd think you weird.
    It's more like Alice in " Alice in Wonderland " some weird and lonely journey you take all alone. I know probably too many movie references, but they do help describe the feelings. It truly is like the knowledge of this sets you apart and everyone who is blissfully unaware are still going rather happily through their lives not " seeing. " How do you see, know, and still be happy? It feels like they're in a different world now. You can say it's a choice, but for me my dream was to have a loving partner in life and that seems now almost an impossibility with so many people being covert narcs. And that our society is all about narcissistic supply. Even you Richard joke about people hitting the LIKE button and that being supply. I literally don't do any social media except for overlong comments here on CZcams, because it's all fake, and narcissistic. Btw, I know I've thanked you in the past for your videos, but thank you again. They have helped alleviate some of the pain and loneliness. They really help. Best Wishes.

    • @katc3091
      @katc3091 Před 6 lety +6

      Stardustceiling. Don't know if you're American,... but if you were here you'd get a big hug. 💓 Yeah taking the red pill puts us all into a reality tunnel we were hoping didn't exist, but it does, always has. Stay strong and true to yourself.

  • @Ozma337
    @Ozma337 Před 6 lety +42

    Yes!!! I love Jordan Peterson! His challenge to “rescue my dead father from the abyss” is what snapped me out of the narcissistic haze, and lead me to this channel.
    Dr. Peterson is now the father voice for me that I lacked as a child. I’ve reparented myself by watching literally every single lecture on his channel.
    On a spiritual level, I feel like he’s been gifted to our generation for that purpose.
    It’s so cool that you’re also being influenced by him, Richard! Especially because you’re videos are “an antidote to chaos” for so many.

  • @alynnglo9172
    @alynnglo9172 Před 6 lety +29

    One of the toughest things to wrap your mind around was HOW - how did the Narc. Know so well how to make you crazy and doubt yourself? How did the Narc know how to spin certain lies to make them just a bit believable and, again, have you doubting yourself? How was the Narc. Able to say the right thing , at the right time to confuse and make you believe that you were the one at fault, you were the critical, judgemental, unfair, unhinged, immature, one with unreal expectations?
    As soon as I stopped wanting to know HOW this was happening and excepted that it WAS happening, that's when I started realizing that I needed to get out and stay out.
    Like other commenters have pointed out, that you are here wondering if you are the Narc. Probably means that you are not the Narc.
    Learn all you can about this subject through these you tubes and go No Contact!
    It will be very difficult and you will cry a lot but it will work-study just have determination and stick with it.

    • @v.h.l.4261
      @v.h.l.4261 Před 6 lety +6

      I agree that worrying about being a narc probably is a sign that you're not. Narcissists project - they don't own their nasty behavior

    • @ajitkumardas7561
      @ajitkumardas7561 Před 5 lety

      Pertinent question. Narcissists r guided by Jezebel's spirit Devils skillful in cheating and studying mind. Stupid idiot addicted indoctrinated egoistic come under such evil spirit vampires witches Wizards kleptomaniac addicted indoctrinated vampire

    • @kelley0404
      @kelley0404 Před 5 lety +1

      Perfectly said. Exactly what my older narc did to me. Even when you are caring and have legitimate concern for their well being - they make it your problem with the sickness- truly crafty in the art of projection and covert manipulation was mine. Your words about stop asking How or Why and just realize “it is” will wake you up. Been No Contact almost 5 months and Richard has shown me the way to recover from the madness and crazy making.

    • @mikicalic9651
      @mikicalic9651 Před 5 lety +3

      If someone can make you crazy and doubt yourself then you are already crazy and doubting yourself. Here is answer for you and dont wrap your mind around it anymore. Truth frees .Forget who done you wrong and work on yourself so that it never happens again

  • @pippadaisychain7902
    @pippadaisychain7902 Před 6 lety +28

    Hello Funky Jesus. This is quite possibly the best video you've ever done. I like the longer ones best.

  • @PrincessWinter
    @PrincessWinter Před 6 lety +7

    "Better a cruel truth than a comfortable delusion."
    - Edward Abbey

  • @bohuiliu3053
    @bohuiliu3053 Před 5 lety +3

    I can’t describe how much your videos mean to me. Recently your channel is my major source of reality.

  • @marynadler9152
    @marynadler9152 Před 4 lety +2

    lies bind, truth frees - one of the best things I ever heard. Thanks man!

  • @amg726
    @amg726 Před 4 lety +1

    For the first 14 minutes or so, I was thinking, "Ok, uh huh, yep, this is good..I get it"......but then at 15 minutes? WOW! I've been searching for "something" for 4 years that would click in my brain like a key in a lock. The movie analogy, the role playing, the "fantasy" we are recruited to live in with the narcissist.......I was BLOWN AWAY. Four years of suffering after being discarded like a piece of trash.....four years of watching thousands of videos and listening to countless counselors and life coaches....ALL great, don't get me wrong....But THIS last half of the video....holy shit! I can't thank you enough, Richard. For whatever reason, this clicked for me and it was as if I found my way out of a dark forest I've been lost in for 4 loooooooooooonnngggg years. I now live with and am a caretaker for my 89 year old covert narcissist dad and this is going to help me immensely. Going from a narcissistic fiancé to now back to living with yet another narcissist has been terribly traumatic. NOW I can see exactly what he's doing AND the role I've been at times willingly and unwillingly playing. I don't have to! I don't have to play the part! The next step is to get your emotional literacy course and tackle my Cptsd. Love you Richard! You're my hero!

  • @terrymondon7649
    @terrymondon7649 Před 6 lety +13

    Thank you Richard for these videos and getting me through the tough times. And YES, monsters are real😔😔😔

  • @wonderwoman8970
    @wonderwoman8970 Před 6 lety +8

    This is gold.

  • @jmaguirephotography
    @jmaguirephotography Před 6 lety +42

    I always love your videos Richard but this one in particular is extremely profound.thank you.

  • @Bee-tn8ko
    @Bee-tn8ko Před 2 lety +1

    Stunning. An absolutely beautiful message. In a narcissistic relationship lies become a way to survive another day, but ultimately we lose ourselves in the lies and the things said just to get by in the moment. Ultimately it won’t work. Truth will come out, who you really are will surface and everything you said to get by in the moment will become the lies that the narcissist will hold up to show the world “just what kind of person you are “

  • @robinsmith8846
    @robinsmith8846 Před 6 lety +2

    The clarity in this video is amazing, as well as the balance of a gentle voice and compassion I feel, yet beating the drum... truth free, fake is ugly, love should be kind, not mean. This is now my GO TO VIDEO if I ever am tempted to break no contact or reply to any hoover attempts on his part. My new religion is truth, love (real) compassion, protecting my peace and happy life. Being kind to those who are worth it, who are real. Fantastic video, thank you. Ha! I got hired in the fantasy movie for a short time and woke up to the fact that it was the role from Hell. Was offered a downsized role of "friend" and declined. Quit the whole production, turn out the fking lights, cut the sound. Wow, now I can see and hear and feel the rest of life, real life, people with real feelings and a real persona and not masks they swap out a whim. Clarity is worth everything. I even feel better and more determined to my steps to healing, no contact being the start and end of Hell, and the beginning of a new life. I was happy, peaceful, busy with good things, I had no sadness, no issues... before the Narc, and I can get there again... back to me. The red flags sent me running away,made me angry, and let me criticize the HECK out of that narc! (Scathing he called it.) My inability to live with the cognitive dissonance did not allow me to be all "nice monster, what's wrong with me?" NO! I was what the hell is wrong with YOU? Who treats someone (love of his life lies) THISway? Who acts this way and calls it love? not being able to understand or accept oe excuse this behavior past a few months time, let me get free a lot soon than those who do put up with cognitive dissonance, excuse, blame themselves, ignore, try to "do better"? Heck no, I am terrific, caring, loving, and independent. HE WAS acting mean and calling it love. Period. Whew. Thanks, man, great video, will watch and rewatch as an innoculation against any "I've changed" hoovering attempts at any future time.
    Keeping the hope through the trial by fire to freedom, back to who I am.

  • @lisas1625
    @lisas1625 Před 6 lety +4

    Recently I was asked to help at my kids school gala - it triggered the f@@k out of me and I had an emotional flashback and went into a deep depression for 2 weeks. At the same time my friend had heart surgery and my daughter and her husband came to visit. I couldnt help at the school, visit my friend or engage with my daughter and her husband properly - which made me feel so full of shame. So I did a new thing I TOLD ALL OF THEM WHY - I told all of them that I had fallen into a deep depression and I hate myself for not engaging but I just CAN'T right now - the beautiful thing was they all understood. A beautiful, beautiful breakthrough. (Thank you Pete. Thank you Richard.)

    • @yeahnahsweetas
      @yeahnahsweetas Před 6 lety +1

      Good on you, it's like a big weight coming off your shoulders isn't it?

  • @debrheinsmith7023
    @debrheinsmith7023 Před 6 lety +6

    I always felt as though we were adversaries, that he was playing a game, but I didn't know we were playing a game and he was never going to share the rules with me. So much of this video resonates with my own experience. Thank you, Richard. Understanding my patterns of behavior in the context of C-PTSD has been revelatory and life changing over the past few weeks. I'm so incredibly grateful to have stumbled upon your work.

    • @oscarwilliamson1128
      @oscarwilliamson1128 Před rokem

      Deb Rheinsmith,You look cute 🥰,Hope you are not with a narcissist!!

  • @flackers69
    @flackers69 Před 6 lety +2

    This is one of the best descriptions of NPD behaviour I have seen. I've been researching the subject for six months now and like to think I understand it well, but this video makes the whole thing clearer still. It is perfect for anyone starting to learn about the heavy, complicated subject of BPD/NPD. Thank you Richard, this is a fantastic video.

  • @healingbean6236
    @healingbean6236 Před 6 lety +2

    Richard this is absolutely one of your best videos, if not THE best. Thank you for the wisdom and validation and all of your hard work.

  • @TheKantarella
    @TheKantarella Před 6 lety +7

    Yay, I love the long ramblings, thank you for doing it again :)

  • @anjanabapat883
    @anjanabapat883 Před 6 lety +1

    The vibe is soothing and calm and the video is loaded with content. Awesome video!

  • @texuztweety
    @texuztweety Před 6 lety

    Yes Richard your work is so very important to me, your videos are so comforting, inspirational, and eye opening. I am so indescribably grateful for every video you have ever made. Stellar work!

  • @gdtimay
    @gdtimay Před 6 lety

    This is the best video you’ve ever done by a longshot. I’ve privately felt and held the same beliefs for some time now. Absolute grand slam; THANK YOU.

  • @micheledobb589
    @micheledobb589 Před 6 lety +1

    Thank you Richard.Commenting in other section. Look forward to course, mental toughness and the coaching.

  • @heatherwhittaker6169
    @heatherwhittaker6169 Před 6 lety +1

    Excellent video. I feel blessed to have found you Richard, and feel 100% better this past year.Thank you.

  • @jenniferwright1052
    @jenniferwright1052 Před 6 lety +2

    Holy shit. The movie set inalogy is exactly what my relationship felt like. Being in public or with people my ex wanted to impress, always in intimacy, was like being on a movie set. I'm still dealing with what I call terrible debilitating "performance anxiety". Thanks again for finding the words.

  • @jennfrazier1644
    @jennfrazier1644 Před 6 lety +1

    As always, so timely! So many different aspects to recovery and this one you’ve identified brilliantly! I mustn’t let their infection cause me to lie.

  • @carolyngriffin6458
    @carolyngriffin6458 Před 6 lety

    Really enjoyed this one on all levels. The info and your word pictures are excellent. And it feels like something - firm resolve? grace? - has settled in you. Your energy is so quiet and centered. Makes me glad to witness it. Thanks for doing the work you do, bright star friend.

  • @catamish9338
    @catamish9338 Před 6 lety +1

    Awesome talk!! Love your animation and warmth! I’m on the ups and refuse bitterness and self pity !! Thank you for the soul talk! Peace and light to you dear Richard

  • @elizabethstengard8318
    @elizabethstengard8318 Před 5 lety +1

    Thank you Richard for this video and all your helpful videos! You,re so spot on! Very helpful!! 🦋

  • @jenniferbarno5158
    @jenniferbarno5158 Před 4 lety +1

    Yes!! Perfect description..I am watching this daily! So excellent at real information.

  • @gerry4281
    @gerry4281 Před 6 lety +2

    Honesty, honesty, with self and others!! Thanks Richard. Good to see and hear you.

  • @forsuchatimeasthis9631

    Your are so great at what you do. Thank you so very much for being there.... your work gives me the stability and strength to keep on moving forward. It brings me a glimpse of hope. Something I am a stranger to. I’ve out of his movie set for 3 months now, but I am just a shadow of myself. Trying to stop play out his faded script in my head... Attempting to bring my own authentic show to the big stage of life.
    Thanks for being there.

  • @terrbear1866
    @terrbear1866 Před 6 lety +1

    You have helped me more than you will ever know. Thank you for your dedication and all that you do to help us Break Free of the chains of the covert narcissist.
    Many blessings to you.

  • @marierose6792
    @marierose6792 Před 6 lety +2

    Richard, keep spreading your brilliance. You reach people in your unique way. My recovery from severe CPTSD has been helped immensely. I used the movie analogy when I tried to describe matters ,in my experience with pathological people in my life. One narcissist in my extended family actually acted out certain devious plots from movies and books, in reality. It was difficult to believe this when she confided in someone, until YOU actually experience it.
    I have been also helped by The Institute For the Reduction of Pathological Relational Harm, with Sandra Brown. I also have listened to Jordan B Peterson, to help my naivety about the world.
    Thank you.

  • @JC-lh1pj
    @JC-lh1pj Před 6 lety +2

    Beautiful... Your work is fantastic and important. Thanks and keep going.

  • @angieland2856
    @angieland2856 Před 6 lety +2

    Great video. Thank you. Your sense of humor is refreshing 😊

  • @audraromero334
    @audraromero334 Před 6 lety +1

    Thank you for spreading the light of truth Richie, your channel has been a “lighthouse” to many of us that temporarily couldn’t gain a sense of direction once the darkness (cold hard truth) hit. Wishing YOU peace, love and happiness. God Bless, from 🌵❤️AZ
    ~Audra

  • @kelleywisneski7896
    @kelleywisneski7896 Před 6 lety +3

    You are amazing! Your gift is your message! Thank you so much for what you do Richard! (love love love the goofy, never stop playing)

  • @flyprincess69
    @flyprincess69 Před 6 lety +2

    This just changed my life forever! Thank you 🙏 !

  • @MariaGoJa
    @MariaGoJa Před 6 lety +2

    What an awesome timing this video! Richard you were coaching me in my dream the night before 😄 and I told you how I recently remembered many more occasions in which my mother was involving us kids in her lies almost on a daily basis (she also manipulated us into lying to other adults whenever it was in her benefit) and the next morning I got this video in my inbox 😌 ... now I not only understand how her lies were binding us to her, but also why I was afraid of attention and how I was always making myself invisible in public - even as a adult, because I always felt as if I have done something wrong.

  • @kaleidojess
    @kaleidojess Před 6 lety +3

    I appreciate your videos a lot, and I’m glad that you’re on CZcams.

  • @JK-ly6wu
    @JK-ly6wu Před 6 lety +8

    Absolutely brilliant perspective... this is Exactly what they are, actors living in a fake reality to Feel like they’re Somebody. Sad Truth, but it does set you free🤮🎭🕊😘

  • @HensleyDon
    @HensleyDon Před 6 lety

    I hope you never stop "rambling" in that eloquent, genuine way of yours. Your videos have helped me work through many aspects of my life both past and present. The very first time I checked out one of your videos I subbed and I've watched virtually every one on YT. The way you use humor is always spot on. One of the things I used to say when someone I was working with, whether at my day job or as a musician, was jerking me around was, "Hey.... If I wanted to get sh*t on I'd spend more time with my family!" [Grin]

  • @cynwes9994
    @cynwes9994 Před 5 lety

    Dear Richard Grannon,
    I not only like your message, but also your style of delivery. Works for me.
    I suppose that is what all of us who feel incomplete or damaged are looking for -- a way to fit into the puzzle of this insane life-on-earth. Someone, some way, with whom we can connect, and feel a bit more "complete" with.
    Thank you for helping me feel a bit more "complete", by your explaining why I have spent so much of my lifetime feeling not only incomplete, but down right broken and irreparable. Broken is one thing -- broken things can be fixed.
    But irreparable is despair. I used to pray, on a regular basis, in my 30's and 40's, "God, you made me. So either fix me or take me." I believe He continues to "fix" me by continuing to lead me to people like you, who help me unravel the mystery of why I have felt so confused and frustrated so much of the time.
    I don't know what CPTSD means. I just know that it is some kind of disorder. I refuse to look it up, because I feel that all speakers and writers should at least, the first time that they speak or write an acronym, should say or write out what their groovy, new abbreviation that didn't exist 20 years ago means. Yes, I'm layin' that one down on you, Brother Richard Grannon. Please elucidate me. (Hope to Heaven that came across to you as kind, and not as bullying. Why would I want to bully a brother who is offering himself as a companion on the not-always-easy-to-follow trail out of the horrible cave of delusion where the message is, "This is as good as it gets"?)
    Just so you know, the thing that really hooked me into listening further to what you had to say was -- the bit about the bully saying all these nasty things to you, leaving you to wonder if suicide might be less painful than hearing their harangue at you, and THEN following the harangue with "I love you." Talk about mind-fucking.
    But if that, like you so CLEARLY said, (which I appreciate so much), is what one is born into, that is what one believes: love equals feeling shitty most of the time and surviving on a little crumb thrown to me now and again that says, "I love you."
    The first step is to have a big brother come along who says, "Dear Little Sister, that is not love. Stay away from that."
    The next step is to have another or the same big brother say, "Dear Little Sister, EVEN THOUGH that person who is bullying you and keeping you around with little crumbs (because that is all you know) is your lover, your sibling, your friend, your parent, your child even!, your twin sister even! (my case), THAT'S NOT LOVE. And just because you were born into, or ended up in, this very close, intimate relationship with this person, you do not have to stick around. Let me repeat, dear Little Sister, it is not OBLIGATORY that you stick around. In spite of the fact that everybody expects you to show up at family gatherings. In spite of the fact that everybody expects you to have a loving, sisterly relationship, BECAUSE YOU'RE TWINS!
    The next step is to figure out how to break free and yet stay kind.
    For me, I have had to do the no-contact thing, or rather, the way-less contact thing. I learned from Marissa Peer (a You-Tube helper) that anger is unexpressed hurt, and I have so much unexpressed hurt (because I was never shown how to express hurt in any way except nastily, and I didn't have it in me to get nasty unless I get drunk or fear for my life) that I am afraid of getting angry around the bully in a way that might land me in jail, as you so clearly and directly put it. Thank you for that!
    This is a very long thank you. Forgive me for not being more brief. I'm confident you of all people will understand, because of your tendency to go off on tangents, which is exactly what I do, because the tangent can be so clarifying to the main point.
    I think you might like a book called "Disappearance of the Universe" by Gary Renard. For me it has explained a lot of "the mystery." One of his top ten favorite movies is "The Matrix", so you and he are already on the same wavelength. And he is totally irreverent and unafraid to cuss, like you. No mamsey-pamseying around the point he is trying to make. That's what I love about your style. You don't allow the FORM to parade as the CONTENT. My twin sister has so often acted offended if I cuss as I'm trying to express myself, as if the cussing itself makes me a bad person. Meanwhile she seams deaf to my heart. I suppose one could say I'm doing a bad job of meeting her where she's at. I need to be more refined. I need be more polite. But it is hard to stay polite and refined when one has just been punched in the gut, FOR NO GOOD REASON!
    But I digress. I want to recommend "Disappearance of the Universe" as a way to say "Thank you" for your videos. If I knew your address, I would send the book to your address.
    Do I get the record for being your l o n g e s t email response? Well, if you can succeed in equating longevity with gratitude, then I will have succeeded in thanking you for sharing with the general, faceless public via you Tube your experience with getting more free.
    Sincerely,
    Cynthia Wesson

  • @lisavanbuskirklmft7802
    @lisavanbuskirklmft7802 Před 6 lety +2

    Richard, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have made a deep difference in my life and journey to emotional freedom and happiness.

  • @differentyetsame
    @differentyetsame Před 5 lety +3

    Revisiting your content always reveal new epiphanies, this one above I really needed today.. thank you for what you do.. blessings and gratitude

  • @victoriousjoy9338
    @victoriousjoy9338 Před 6 lety

    Wow!! This clarifies so many things!! Great word pictures!!! Thank you!!!

  • @bizinsky
    @bizinsky Před 6 lety +2

    Truly appreciate your perspective. It makes me happy to know that someone as refreshing, honest, reflective, self aware and stunningly courageous as you is making this kind of channel go. Love love love your style

  • @SQHawaii
    @SQHawaii Před 5 lety +1

    You are hilarious! I love your mixture of humor and graphic communication. You don't mince words and you get the point across, ugly as it may be at times, but oh so necessary. Thanks!

  • @faithoneill7167
    @faithoneill7167 Před 6 lety +1

    Awesome. Thank you Richard! Deep and illuminating.

  • @leahboynton1280
    @leahboynton1280 Před 4 lety

    This one brought tears to my eyes. Thank you, Richard

  • @JJ-vc6pp
    @JJ-vc6pp Před 6 lety +1

    Great video Richard. The most useful, and sustainable, analogy for the relationship with a narcissist yet. As you expand the analogy out it illuminates every seemingly inexplicable behaviour. Facing up to reality and owning our part in maintaining the illusion is the only way out and up.Thanks.

  • @jadeoliviabald
    @jadeoliviabald Před 6 lety

    Keep em coming! After watching one of your other videos, I gave a thought back to my mother's life and realized how dysfunctional/ harried her life was.A business that went under, relationships broken, friendships broken (her friends were usually themselves crazy, larger than life personalities with crazy lives in the family or spouse sense).Then the inability to settle in one space (I moved six times in ten years between 2 and 12, not including seven houses and eight different schools and then of course I was a prime target for bullying) all because she wanted to pursue a second career that paid well for the choice she made in having a child and choosing a man that was a drunk, just like her father.As well as her choice in having a kid in the nineties, when the pill was readily available....she'd had nine, ten years between graduating from her masters and becoming a mother to have either changed careers or work steadily, instead of doing a business. I think she resented having me.There's no fucking wonder why I have chronic illness, is there?

  • @raisingrealitybylindycowli8160

    Long time advocate / supporter of your work Richard just keeps getting better and better and better

  • @frainer
    @frainer Před 6 lety +12

    I have been around a full blown Narcissist all my life, my sister,,, lol one thing that I notice is that I cant be around her for more than 3 hours before arguing,,,,, she is like William Shatner on the Starship Enterprise and pushing all the dam buttons....

  • @blessedbeneurobeautiful
    @blessedbeneurobeautiful Před 6 lety +1

    I haven't been watching your work for quite some time, but just received an email that led me here today. I don't believe in coincidences and note that it's bizarre that I've encountered the need for such reminders of late!
    I guess I'm a lifelong "work in progress"(I've done previous courses with you, followed your teachings and read your book; when i desperately needed help) Life has taken me down other paths and onto other areas of growth...Today showed me that it's all the same in truth :)
    Thanks Richie...You are continuing to productively grow; which is the only way to truly pass on your teachings with any benefit. You are the real deal...NON SERVIAM!!

  • @BettinaAscaino
    @BettinaAscaino Před 6 lety +2

    Truth be told, this video is great in so many levels.
    Thank you, señor. H/t to you.

  • @nakuruhike7991
    @nakuruhike7991 Před 6 lety

    Struggling to find words to praise you enough for providing this intensely truthful coaching. I’ve learned so much since following you. Dealing with life post narc abuse is horrific but thanks to you I have now changed my life for the better.

  • @crystalhopkins3358
    @crystalhopkins3358 Před 6 lety +1

    Your work has been an integral part of my self healing. I am grateful for you pursuing your life's work. It makes a difference in the world. Sending love and light to you.

  • @Joebybreck
    @Joebybreck Před 6 lety +5

    Richard, I believe this is one the best videos you've ever done! Keep up the awesome work...lots of this stuff going on in this crazy world these days!

  • @AlexWatsons0ngb1rd
    @AlexWatsons0ngb1rd Před 6 lety

    Haven't watched one of these for a long time. Another banger!! Miss these. Thanks Richard.

  • @rosej5029
    @rosej5029 Před 6 lety

    Please continue with the short and to the point videos you produce. There is an audience that appreciates concise informative videos that don't leave the most relevant information towards the last 5 minutes of a 30 minute or 60 minute video.

  • @mariarichards5221
    @mariarichards5221 Před 4 lety +1

    Thank you Richard, I really enjoyed your metaphorical analogy to the Big screen of life. Stars burning bright, energy supplies, great parallels. Thanks again.

  • @justinalvarado7351
    @justinalvarado7351 Před 6 lety

    I know you didn't mean to answer my question and give me a humbling moment in a time that I needed to hear. It's so pertinent to my situation. Thank you from all my heart.

  • @katc3091
    @katc3091 Před 6 lety

    From 14 minutes in OMG this is the best description of what living with this sort of person is like. Thank you Richard for all your videos. You're keeping me sane!

  • @lesleyelalami2562
    @lesleyelalami2562 Před 6 lety

    Love the Director/actor analogy. Nice one. Excellent work. Thank you. x

  • @davidbanner9344
    @davidbanner9344 Před 6 lety +4

    Thank You Richard, this is a MASTERPIECE!!!

  • @deborahg1246
    @deborahg1246 Před 6 lety

    Thank you for this video. After being discarded in relationships and work situations and lots of counseling, self work, I finally sat down and decided what I wanted. Since I’ve done that I have a feeling of freedom I haven’t felt before. I feel like happiness has arrived!

  • @laurieelliott3791
    @laurieelliott3791 Před 6 lety +1

    I love your messages, insights, expressive teachings!

  • @vhayashi7369
    @vhayashi7369 Před 4 lety +1

    Thank you so much for sharing your brilliant knowledge and wisdom in such a clear simple basic way... You are helping countless people better their lives and shift their focus to Reality and Truth... Because without Truth we're not living an authentic life and can't ever be truly happy. God bless you in all that you do, I am so thankful for your time and energy and all the work you put into your videos. I am gaining so much insight and wisdom from your words. Thank you!!!!

  • @joypeterson6261
    @joypeterson6261 Před 6 lety +3

    Have to say my Spartan this is by far the most deep video I have seen from you yet, you seem to be transmitting from the deeest part of you love that! you are not hiding behind the humor although that is fine to. great

  • @backfromthedarkalive
    @backfromthedarkalive Před 6 lety

    Really wonderful video....it makes my heart glad there are people like you in the world bringing attention to the fact the C PTSD can be healed.

  • @stellazaliou6793
    @stellazaliou6793 Před 5 lety

    The way you talk, your words, even the tone in your voice, comforts me, proves there is another world, the real world I need to discover. Your videos help me to move on every day. The reason I commented on that one is because I saw myself in the scene where he told me: 'If you don't like it, there's the door' and it was the minute I realized I had to uncover
    him (he proved to be a covert narcissist) and 'run to the hills' as you said once. Thank you for your help. You have no idea how much you are helping me and I it is for free! God bless you!

  • @flyprincess69
    @flyprincess69 Před 6 lety

    This video changed my life. After months of looping 24/7. I have a new focus or challenge and that is live by truth

  • @elizabethteklinski6112
    @elizabethteklinski6112 Před 6 lety +4

    BAM! This one needs a disclaimer. Your best work, this one here.

  • @jessicahamilton3314
    @jessicahamilton3314 Před 6 lety

    This video is amazing and spoke to my very soul. Its actually made me realise to hold onto my humanity no matter what. Thank you.

  • @kindrablankenship4064
    @kindrablankenship4064 Před 6 lety +1

    Jordan Peterson has been a great inspiration in my own life after being forced to open my eyes around two years ago to the pain of a toxic upbringing and negative patterns I kept repeating in relationships. Couldn't agree more with what's been said here in this video. Like so many here on this planet, I'm facing monstrous parts of myself and realizing the power of truth and how much compassion had been warped/not provided in my own childhood. Lies truly bind, even when we think we know the truth, something comes up and forces that reality into our view. It's like ice on boiling skin.
    Good video Richard!

  • @janesees2
    @janesees2 Před 6 lety +1

    Spot on! Thank you for "keeping it real", Richard. The BW/ light-dark format in your presentation really jives with the topics. I love your humor, your timing, your acceptance but most important is your authenticity. "The Truth Will Set You Free" by Alice Miller has been a big inspiration to me in ongoing C-PTSD recovery. Bless you.

  • @jengable4888
    @jengable4888 Před 5 lety

    The ugly truth is always welcomed ! I am tired of all of the lies, nonsense, and BS! Keep posting !! Great message !

  • @anabell7737
    @anabell7737 Před 6 lety

    Brillient... i never heard it put more clearly... wow... just ThankYou !!

  • @ryanunderwood5465
    @ryanunderwood5465 Před rokem +1

    Very well done much love and respect to you!

  • @holly3503
    @holly3503 Před 6 lety +1

    I love the idea that we are bright shining stars. Hell, yeah. Thank you! Great video.

  • @karenwise5179
    @karenwise5179 Před 6 lety +2

    I love your ways. Makes me feel comfortable. Lol, love your sense of humor. Lightens the moment. Better than a therapist by a long shot. 😊😊

  • @MiriamMonroe
    @MiriamMonroe Před 6 lety

    Good to see you on your feet again.

  • @kimhobbs6116
    @kimhobbs6116 Před 6 lety +2

    Brilliant video Richie