There is no way to describe how it makes me feel to know that someone else says that they feel like they must be an alien from another planet. Don’t stop doing what you are doing.
Agreed. It also changes you in the sense that after identifying and accepting who you really are (as well as those around you), you stop masking as much as you originally did. That's what happened with me. And my mom was like, "I don't remember you being 'this autistic'." And I told her that that was because I was always trying to hide the weird things that were deemed socially inappropriate or abnormal. After she came to terms with my diagnoses, I felt relieved that there was a reason why I acted like this, felt like this, and had these unexplainable urges. And when she said I didn't have to hide for her or my family, or anyone anymore, my world opened up in a completely different way, and it was as if I became an entirely different person. So yeah. It does change the way you interact with the world, or at least how you suppressed the way you interacted with it. In my experience at least.
This was exactly how I felt for 18 years until I got diagnosed with autism and ADHD since then the past 5 have been much better now I know why I am the way I am and the people around me can support me better
Spot on! My diagnosis didn't change me. But it changed how I see myself. It's allowed me to home in on how to better get my needs met, and how to utilise my strengths. Through diagnosis I've been able to understand what resources to look at to learn how to manage my sensory needs. Now I have much fewer meltdowns, have a better relationship with my siblings, and have found my people/community. It didn't change my personality, but it did kick-start my journey in better understanding and embracing who I am. Labels are not for everyone, but for me, my diagnosis as been so empowering ❤
yesss!! I'm not neurodivergent but I totally understand what you mean when you say a diagnosis changes the way you see yourself. before I got diagnosed with my disability I thought I was burnt out and lazy and like I should be doing more. I didn't realise it wasn't a mental health issue and that it was actually something physically wrong with my body. now that I'm diagnosed I know what's going on with myself and I feel much more capable of handling my day to day life and knowing how I fit into the world :))
Very well put. I literally thought I had a unique mental condition, until I was fifty. I imagine it was the same for many of my friends, over the years. I think they were all autistic, and i still don't know how many of them have been diagnosed, or what they have been through.
Diagnosis from a medical institute can also be incredibly hard to attain due to lack of access, funds, or medical professionals evaluating you based on their stereotyped view of a disorder rather than actual diagnostic criteria. As a result some people find their communities and labels long before or even without any official diagnosis. Find people that understand and care about you for your experiences, not people who will only validate them once someone else has made money doing so. :3
Yes. This is why I want to get tested. The psychologists always look at me weird like why would you want to get tested or they consider labels to be bad. But I tell them I’m trying to understand myself better. The label helps me figure out why I feel the way I do. Thank you for helping me feel better about this important self-discovery I am on. Getting tested tmrw! Cheers for all my NDs out there!! 🌺🤙🏽
Chloe, I could not have explained it better🦋🦋!!! I have told people who are either going to work with Autistic People or have Autistic Children about you so they are inspired to see their Children the way you see yourself today💛💛💛💛💛🦋🦋!!! We are ALL just as human, ALL important and we ALL have value in this world because we are created by God💛💛💛💛💛🦋🦋!!!
Bingo!!! That's exactly how I felt. I'm 48, I was diagnosed last year but I SO wish I would've known back when I was in my teens and early 20s because I felt like an alien compared to everyone else around me. Those are the years people were quick to point out I was different or weird. Now in my 40s I learned to accept ME and stopped caring what anyone thought of me but I still felt out of place. Now it totally explains why I am the way that I am. I fully embrace it. It explains the job choices I've made (I am an electronics engineer) and the hobbies I enjoy. I purposely married someone who is like minded who has interests, he was just diagnosed with ADHD and he is also on the spectrum. He is a Software engineer. Life is beautiful. Thank you for what you do.
I had a really hard time making friends all through middle and high school. My mom would say "find other kids like you". But there were 400 kids in my entire k-12 school. There WERE no other kids like me. And even the small handful of other ND kids were completely different from me. I felt so alone. I never saw myself as bad or wrong tho. I always wondered why everyone else was so illogical and dumb and mean, and why they were all mad at me for not being that way. Knowing that I am AuDHD means it's a lot easier for me to find online communities of people who are a lot more like me and I can find support and conversation with people I feel like understand at the same level as me. As an adult I've also found a line of work that jives with my neurotype, and has a high tendency of attracting other ND people, so it's much easier to get along.
i wish there was a way to explain this that neurotypicals would understand. like, they might understand what we're saying but i think very few of them actually genuinely understand what its like and just how important it is to be able to understand yourself. maybe that's because a lot of NTs already do understand themselves? or maybe its because they dont have the desire _to_ know? i dont know, but ive tried explaining this to people and somtimes ive been hit with "thats it? that's the entire reason you're saying you're autistic?" (self diagnosed after years of research and finally realizing im not going to be able to save up $1600 for an evaluation) but like, YES, because that is SO important. they dont know what its like to live most of your life knowing something is wrong but not knowing what and the constant thoughts of "why cant i just be normal?" and "what the actual f00k is wrong with me". they don't understand how much those can break someone down and how much better it feels to be built back up and realize you ARE normal, just a different kind, and that there's nothing wrong with you, you're just autistic.
This is what I've wanted to say for so long but could not find the words to articulate it. Thank you for putting this video out there. You're awesome Chloe!
Yes! Agree with this so much! Thank you for verbalizing this, Chloé! Also, want to add that for me, a diagnosis/label changes the way I take care of myself. Similar to what you said, knowing I am autistic and that there are others like me helps remove so much shame. Now I feel much more capable of looking at my needs and struggles without judgement. From this place, I can pull from a whole community of resources to help me learn how to best care for myself : )
It's like ✨ so true ✨ I still sometimes feel broken, but I definitely understand better some things that are happening to me and why my brain works the way it does.
I remember wearing a lot of highlighter on my cheek bones and nose because I was in love with the shimmery look and people kept commenting on it until I stopped because I felt like I was being judged all the time but seeing Chloe and her makeup made me feel better to know that it is a cute look and I should just wear what I like ❤
I have too much too say and thinking about typing it is overwhelming me. Chloe, I’m glad I found you. I’m really looking forward to watching Heartbreak High, especially knowing there’s an autistic character to identify with! Thank you for using your voice! I saved this to my playlist to share with my partner and family, as I work to explain my autism to them.
So true.... even though I am still only self-diagnosed (after seeing one of your videos in 2021). At age 60, went back through all of the saved report cards, etc, and found the clues I needed. I was not bad, merely "different". This I could add to the other different parts of my identity: adopted, bi, witch, medium. It all just made so much sense, looking back over the years, and even if there are huge chunks of my childhood I still cannot remember, at least I can be proud of myself for how well I coped, and being grateful to parents who, knowing I was different but not knowing why (the stereotype of autism in the 1960s being that of the non-communicative boy who doesn't want to be touched, etc), worked with me so that I could function as well as I did. Graduated high school, college, and graduate school. Happy about all that, and the fact that I have a supportive husband, because what I am finding out now is.... being older, not only do I not wish to mask any longer, I no longer have the energy to do so. Is it weird that I have actually gained more confidence since finding out, and learned to love myself more? Thank you for all you do, Chloe. You have literally changed my life for the better. Best wishes, always.
Thanks Chloe, you are right but it does not change things always immediately especially when you have to feel some sort of blame for not fitting others well and it can be a huge struggle at first, I am still struggling a lot. But your book has really helped me validate a lot of issues I was having particularly with my body image and things i have felt as well as my past experiences with health professionals and people especially neurotypicals and how easily they assume or just label. It is definitely always a work in progress finding your authentic self however I am glad to see you doing well, it makes me happy and it makes me happy to see you inspiring many others going through the same struggles and how it is ok to be different. I am definitely impressed and inspired by you. ❤
I'm autistic, have known since I was 6 and am now 14 ... but I have to painfully confess, I don't feel comfortable in my autism and haven't done for a couple of years. It's one of my biggest insecurities. I wish I wasn't treated differently no matter how hard I try to prove I can act normally. I wish I didn't feel so alien. I wish I wasn't constantly wondering if there's something I'm doing wrong that I'm not seeing
I'm turning 52 this month, I wasn't diagnosed until 2002 for what I observed and called inertia in my long-term pattern of behavior that had no emotional component as to why I did it, that was getting in the way of my progress at that time due to long-term unemployment. The right thing for you to do is to get to truly know yourself which includes your strengths and weaknesses, and where you can, maximize your leveraging of your strengths to work around your weaknesses at least until you can reasonably assess which ones you can turn into strengths without causing yourself more harm. The truth may be you have weaknesses that can't be helped: there's no point dwelling on them, that'll drive you insane if you do. Don't try to be anyone other than your better self, as you will fail trying to be anyone else, including trying to be "typical" as you're not wired to play that role 100% "correct" and attempting to do so will result in burnout. You can't sustain living a lie, but you have a chance to achieve a happier truth, so long as you never lie to yourself. Be the most moral person you can be in both thoughts and deeds and work to be as self-sufficient as you can, as well as help others: from that you earn proper self-esteem. Try not to be taken advantage of, however: don't try too hard to be a people-pleaser, and if asked to do things for others, always keep in mind you don't need to, and there may be cases where it'll get you in trouble. Always allow yourself to pick and choose what you want, and a good way to guide that choice is to create a list of what you value and don't want, and see which way things measure up. Having friends is ideal, only if they are true friends. It is hard to identify which are which at times. Be careful. If they insist you do something that'll compromise your values and/or rights then move on. The most dangerous people are those you believe to be friends but aren't true friends, because they can and will betray you, using what they know about you against you of it suits their purposes. It sucks, but you need to keep that in mind. We want to be able to trust others, but we're at a disadvantage in that regard: plan and act accordingly. I've been taken a number of times as an adult. Placing too much trust in anyone is dangerous. But when you find what is clearly a true friend, cherish and keep that relationship going: they can literally save your life, and you can save theirs.
For me it showed me I was broken I was different, everything is hard not because I’m not good enough or not trying hard enough I was just trying my whole life to function in the way that is impossible for me. Dx gave me the pewter to not hate who I was, it’s hard reframing my whole life, finding out there isn’t some secret method or drug to suddenly make life easier but acceptance and self compassion is so important
I literally thought I was Galadriel from Lord of the Rings growing up because I felt so different from everyone else hahaha. (Incidentally that’s one of my dream roles as an Autistic actor 😊😊) Now I know I am a magical elf person, but for a difference reason than I thought. And I am SO PROUD and overjoyed and relieved to know I am part of a beautiful community of people as magical as me.
To put it into perspective, I arrived undiagnosed till 22. It felt like I was slowly getting sqweezed agains a wall cause I had no tools to get better, no job, no purpose, but time wasn't stopping, and the expectations neither. I was about to end it quite frankly. I even tried before, a few times, of which one almost succeded. I've been diagnosed very lazily and generically like "cluster b" (Dude which one lmao) "mood disorder" (Again, which one?). Until I found out about some videos on autism and I said "this is funny, isn't this normal? I thought autism was like being a genius or something more grand than this stuff". Yeah... After a few more videos and a lecture by tony atwood I was convinced and told my psychiatrist. She had luckily underwent a formative course on neurodevelopmental disorders and didn't brush me off, instead I started my evaluation and it turned out I was actually autistic. And then my life basically changed. It's hard to go from zero self worth to feeling good about yourself, but I did it. The diagnosis was such an important missing link and I felt like I had something to go forward. Now I'm almost 25. I don't want to harm myself, I don't want to die, I am much less insecure of my way of being... It's all different now. And being on disability I actually got help in finding a job for me. I'm gonna start my apprenticeship this month, wish me luck. I don't know if I'll make it but I don't care, cause I want to try, and keep trying, and before I didn't. Like I have some vision for my future. I also have to say that a diagnosis alone without change and accomodation will not do all that. We need support, and community, and people who understand. But I feel like there are more and more nowadays, so that's good. Don't give up guys.
Getting a diagnosis isn't easy in Australia. It's very expensive for starters, at least $1,000. Then there is the wait list to see a Specialist, often in terms of months. Then the Specialist may get the diagnosis wrong. A brief 40 minute consultation is noy long enough to ascertain the correct diagnosis. I reeled off all of the traits I have , and was told I'm not Autistic. Hmm. I spent a lot of money, waited months, only to be told "no". What now? Do I have to have a crisis, physically harm someone who bullies me, then be told oh you're actually Autistic?
yesssss. I described myself as an alien from r years and never felt like I fit in. I knew I had add but it didn't fit the patterns when I was talking to a friend whose kid is in the spectrum and they were describing things they did, I kept going I do that, I do that... I wonder if I'm on the spectrum! once I got the diagnosis it made me feel better to know that I'm not alone. that others do things like me too. it made me feel like I could find others just like me jenny Lawson, aka the blogess, did the same for me with depression and anxiety. that I wasn't alone, that there are others just like me. that it can take different forms but its there
Hi Chloe , I hope you see this bc I have a question. So I recorded a video of me reading “All the way to the top” (the book about Jennifer Keelan-Chaffins) to my plush babies. I got this book for my 14th birthday and It’s amazing and it deserves to be read out load by my inner child in my playful voice. It’s so cute and innocent and I thought people would think I act this way bc I’m autistic (not bc this is just the way I am).that’s the entire message of Jeremy the dud , disabled people are not children and deserve to get a job and live independently. I’m scared that this will give the wrong message. Pissing off ableists is very fun but pissing off some disability rights activist will suck. I did add a disclaimer saying this is not bc I’m autistic but I did say in the video “Jennifer proved that you don’t have to be an adult to talk about important things and I’m proving that you don’t have to be a child to play with Jake” (he’s my soft baby) so what should I do?
@@YoshyOne Because most Autistics have ADHD, which is a symptom of Autism. ADHD is also a sign of neuro-divergency, which is a topic I'm not too familiar with, even though I am Autistic.
@@YoshyOne Chloe also just mentioned how this type of thing allows you to find community, relatability, and people who are like you to identify with. This person is stating the facts and being relatable. So it sounds legit to me. I have ADHD too, and can't function without meds for it. Actually, I'm a horrific driver without it 😆😂
@@lethalprincess2087 ADHD isn't a symptom of autism and ADHD isn't a sign of neurodivergence. ADHD symptoms can overlap with autism ones but they are different diagnoses. ADHD is a form of neurodivergence.
@@gaiar1020 I did some research on neurodivergency, and did find that out later on yesterday, but thank you for an explanation regardless. However, you're wrong about ADHD and Autism. ADHD actually IS a symptom of Autism. While ADHD is its own diagnosis, it's a symptom and characteristic that is commonly found in Autistic adults and children. However, just like any neurodivergent or human being with a developmental disability, not everyone experiences the same exact symptoms; though ADHD is naturally a common diagnosis alongside Autism due to the inability to focus and sit still both mentally and/or physically, which aids in causing the inability to process information (Autism thing). Another symptom that also possesses its own diagnosis alongside being a common symptom of Autism is PTSD. Unfortunately, I have not met a single Autistic to date (including myself) that does not have PTSD. This is because our brains process stressful situations to the highest degree possible, thus causing us to panic in the same way a neurotypical might respond to a shooter, for example, or even a natural disaster. But again, not all Autistics possess the same symptoms, especially since the Autism spectrum is nonlinear. But just to be clear, it's obvious that not everyone who has ADHD is Autistic (kind of like how all apples are fruits, but not all fruits are apples-most Autistics have ADHD, but not everyone who has ADHD is Autistic), but again, it's nonetheless a symptom and a sign (among others) that help make up the Autistic mind of most individuals.
My daughter is ASD level 2 and as she's getting older, I've been trying to find movies/shows with real representations of autism so maybe she can find it relatable. So far the movie Please Stand By is the only movie I've found that does a good job of that. Could you perhaps recommend something? Thanks
Is there a test to find out 4 sure if ur autistic? Back in the 80s i got told i can't be autistic because im a girl! When my brother got diagnosed. Yet i know something is/was different bout me just on how much i got bullied @ school. In some ways I'm worse than my brother! Maybe It'd be a good idea if a test is available every child who gets frequently targeted by bullys it could be the 1st clue ?!
I do have adhd and am on the Austim spectrum but don’t feel valid because it’s “on the spectrum” or pdd-nos. Ik it doesn’t make sense and others with it are valid but I don’t feel that way for me…
If you needed a formal diagnosis from some nerd to validate you and your self worth Instead of realizing It naturally than that's kinda pathetic and sad
There is no way to describe how it makes me feel to know that someone else says that they feel like they must be an alien from another planet. Don’t stop doing what you are doing.
Agreed. It also changes you in the sense that after identifying and accepting who you really are (as well as those around you), you stop masking as much as you originally did. That's what happened with me. And my mom was like, "I don't remember you being 'this autistic'." And I told her that that was because I was always trying to hide the weird things that were deemed socially inappropriate or abnormal. After she came to terms with my diagnoses, I felt relieved that there was a reason why I acted like this, felt like this, and had these unexplainable urges. And when she said I didn't have to hide for her or my family, or anyone anymore, my world opened up in a completely different way, and it was as if I became an entirely different person. So yeah. It does change the way you interact with the world, or at least how you suppressed the way you interacted with it. In my experience at least.
This was exactly how I felt for 18 years until I got diagnosed with autism and ADHD since then the past 5 have been much better now I know why I am the way I am and the people around me can support me better
Sing it from the roof tops!!! I can’t like this video enough 😀. Thank you Chloé.
Spot on! My diagnosis didn't change me. But it changed how I see myself. It's allowed me to home in on how to better get my needs met, and how to utilise my strengths. Through diagnosis I've been able to understand what resources to look at to learn how to manage my sensory needs. Now I have much fewer meltdowns, have a better relationship with my siblings, and have found my people/community. It didn't change my personality, but it did kick-start my journey in better understanding and embracing who I am. Labels are not for everyone, but for me, my diagnosis as been so empowering ❤
yesss!! I'm not neurodivergent but I totally understand what you mean when you say a diagnosis changes the way you see yourself. before I got diagnosed with my disability I thought I was burnt out and lazy and like I should be doing more. I didn't realise it wasn't a mental health issue and that it was actually something physically wrong with my body. now that I'm diagnosed I know what's going on with myself and I feel much more capable of handling my day to day life and knowing how I fit into the world :))
I have both ASD and ADHD and your so right Chloe the more we understand about ourselves the better we navigate this world
Very well put. I literally thought I had a unique mental condition, until I was fifty. I imagine it was the same for many of my friends, over the years. I think they were all autistic, and i still don't know how many of them have been diagnosed, or what they have been through.
Diagnosis from a medical institute can also be incredibly hard to attain due to lack of access, funds, or medical professionals evaluating you based on their stereotyped view of a disorder rather than actual diagnostic criteria. As a result some people find their communities and labels long before or even without any official diagnosis.
Find people that understand and care about you for your experiences, not people who will only validate them once someone else has made money doing so. :3
Yes. This is why I want to get tested. The psychologists always look at me weird like why would you want to get tested or they consider labels to be bad. But I tell them I’m trying to understand myself better. The label helps me figure out why I feel the way I do. Thank you for helping me feel better about this important self-discovery I am on. Getting tested tmrw! Cheers for all my NDs out there!! 🌺🤙🏽
Chloe, I could not have explained it better🦋🦋!!! I have told people who are either going to work with Autistic People or have Autistic Children about you so they are inspired to see their Children the way you see yourself today💛💛💛💛💛🦋🦋!!! We are ALL just as human, ALL important and we ALL have value in this world because we are created by God💛💛💛💛💛🦋🦋!!!
Bingo!!! That's exactly how I felt. I'm 48, I was diagnosed last year but I SO wish I would've known back when I was in my teens and early 20s because I felt like an alien compared to everyone else around me. Those are the years people were quick to point out I was different or weird. Now in my 40s I learned to accept ME and stopped caring what anyone thought of me but I still felt out of place. Now it totally explains why I am the way that I am. I fully embrace it. It explains the job choices I've made (I am an electronics engineer) and the hobbies I enjoy. I purposely married someone who is like minded who has interests, he was just diagnosed with ADHD and he is also on the spectrum. He is a Software engineer. Life is beautiful.
Thank you for what you do.
Getting back from dinner to a chloe notification, how perfect! PREACH QUEEN!!!
I had a really hard time making friends all through middle and high school. My mom would say "find other kids like you". But there were 400 kids in my entire k-12 school. There WERE no other kids like me. And even the small handful of other ND kids were completely different from me. I felt so alone. I never saw myself as bad or wrong tho. I always wondered why everyone else was so illogical and dumb and mean, and why they were all mad at me for not being that way. Knowing that I am AuDHD means it's a lot easier for me to find online communities of people who are a lot more like me and I can find support and conversation with people I feel like understand at the same level as me.
As an adult I've also found a line of work that jives with my neurotype, and has a high tendency of attracting other ND people, so it's much easier to get along.
100% agree. Nothing has changed since my diagnosis apart from how much I understand myself. Also just wanted to say I love your videos❤
i wish there was a way to explain this that neurotypicals would understand. like, they might understand what we're saying but i think very few of them actually genuinely understand what its like and just how important it is to be able to understand yourself. maybe that's because a lot of NTs already do understand themselves? or maybe its because they dont have the desire _to_ know? i dont know, but ive tried explaining this to people and somtimes ive been hit with "thats it? that's the entire reason you're saying you're autistic?" (self diagnosed after years of research and finally realizing im not going to be able to save up $1600 for an evaluation) but like, YES, because that is SO important.
they dont know what its like to live most of your life knowing something is wrong but not knowing what and the constant thoughts of "why cant i just be normal?" and "what the actual f00k is wrong with me". they don't understand how much those can break someone down and how much better it feels to be built back up and realize you ARE normal, just a different kind, and that there's nothing wrong with you, you're just autistic.
This is what I've wanted to say for so long but could not find the words to articulate it. Thank you for putting this video out there. You're awesome Chloe!
Yes! Agree with this so much! Thank you for verbalizing this, Chloé! Also, want to add that for me, a diagnosis/label changes the way I take care of myself. Similar to what you said, knowing I am autistic and that there are others like me helps remove so much shame. Now I feel much more capable of looking at my needs and struggles without judgement. From this place, I can pull from a whole community of resources to help me learn how to best care for myself : )
It's like ✨ so true ✨
I still sometimes feel broken, but I definitely understand better some things that are happening to me and why my brain works the way it does.
I remember wearing a lot of highlighter on my cheek bones and nose because I was in love with the shimmery look and people kept commenting on it until I stopped because I felt like I was being judged all the time but seeing Chloe and her makeup made me feel better to know that it is a cute look and I should just wear what I like ❤
I have too much too say and thinking about typing it is overwhelming me. Chloe, I’m glad I found you. I’m really looking forward to watching Heartbreak High, especially knowing there’s an autistic character to identify with! Thank you for using your voice! I saved this to my playlist to share with my partner and family, as I work to explain my autism to them.
This feels like a poem
Bro it took me second to realize she wasn’t talking about a real rocket ship
So true.... even though I am still only self-diagnosed (after seeing one of your videos in 2021). At age 60, went back through all of the saved report cards, etc, and found the clues I needed. I was not bad, merely "different". This I could add to the other different parts of my identity: adopted, bi, witch, medium. It all just made so much sense, looking back over the years, and even if there are huge chunks of my childhood I still cannot remember, at least I can be proud of myself for how well I coped, and being grateful to parents who, knowing I was different but not knowing why (the stereotype of autism in the 1960s being that of the non-communicative boy who doesn't want to be touched, etc), worked with me so that I could function as well as I did. Graduated high school, college, and graduate school. Happy about all that, and the fact that I have a supportive husband, because what I am finding out now is.... being older, not only do I not wish to mask any longer, I no longer have the energy to do so. Is it weird that I have actually gained more confidence since finding out, and learned to love myself more? Thank you for all you do, Chloe. You have literally changed my life for the better. Best wishes, always.
This is THE BEST explanation I have ever heard on why to getting a diagnosis is so helpful!
Chloe,What you have perfectly described here holds true at any age.I'm 70.
Thanks Chloe, you are right but it does not change things always immediately especially when you have to feel some sort of blame for not fitting others well and it can be a huge struggle at first, I am still struggling a lot. But your book has really helped me validate a lot of issues I was having particularly with my body image and things i have felt as well as my past experiences with health professionals and people especially neurotypicals and how easily they assume or just label. It is definitely always a work in progress finding your authentic self however I am glad to see you doing well, it makes me happy and it makes me happy to see you inspiring many others going through the same struggles and how it is ok to be different. I am definitely impressed and inspired by you. ❤
You said all the things I would have wanted to say, better than I could ever have said them! :)
yes it feels so nice to have a word for yourself, I can know who I am much better this way. :) love your content
As someone who has just been diagnosed with adhd (less than a week ago) I completely agree
For some of us, myself included, this label is literally the difference between life and death;
So well put - as you always do.
Beautifully said!
I'm autistic, have known since I was 6 and am now 14 ... but I have to painfully confess, I don't feel comfortable in my autism and haven't done for a couple of years. It's one of my biggest insecurities. I wish I wasn't treated differently no matter how hard I try to prove I can act normally. I wish I didn't feel so alien. I wish I wasn't constantly wondering if there's something I'm doing wrong that I'm not seeing
I'm turning 52 this month, I wasn't diagnosed until 2002 for what I observed and called inertia in my long-term pattern of behavior that had no emotional component as to why I did it, that was getting in the way of my progress at that time due to long-term unemployment.
The right thing for you to do is to get to truly know yourself which includes your strengths and weaknesses, and where you can, maximize your leveraging of your strengths to work around your weaknesses at least until you can reasonably assess which ones you can turn into strengths without causing yourself more harm. The truth may be you have weaknesses that can't be helped: there's no point dwelling on them, that'll drive you insane if you do.
Don't try to be anyone other than your better self, as you will fail trying to be anyone else, including trying to be "typical" as you're not wired to play that role 100% "correct" and attempting to do so will result in burnout. You can't sustain living a lie, but you have a chance to achieve a happier truth, so long as you never lie to yourself.
Be the most moral person you can be in both thoughts and deeds and work to be as self-sufficient as you can, as well as help others: from that you earn proper self-esteem. Try not to be taken advantage of, however: don't try too hard to be a people-pleaser, and if asked to do things for others, always keep in mind you don't need to, and there may be cases where it'll get you in trouble. Always allow yourself to pick and choose what you want, and a good way to guide that choice is to create a list of what you value and don't want, and see which way things measure up.
Having friends is ideal, only if they are true friends. It is hard to identify which are which at times. Be careful. If they insist you do something that'll compromise your values and/or rights then move on. The most dangerous people are those you believe to be friends but aren't true friends, because they can and will betray you, using what they know about you against you of it suits their purposes. It sucks, but you need to keep that in mind. We want to be able to trust others, but we're at a disadvantage in that regard: plan and act accordingly. I've been taken a number of times as an adult. Placing too much trust in anyone is dangerous.
But when you find what is clearly a true friend, cherish and keep that relationship going: they can literally save your life, and you can save theirs.
I've always said I felt like I didn't belong here, like I was from a whole different planet.
You are an inspiration. Love your videos. ❤😂
I can relate, not diagnosed, but I likely am.
I couldn’t find the words, thank you for your help.
I agree with you Chloe ❤
Thank god you are back I thought you quit but I love you so much so I was sd❤❤❤
For me it showed me I was broken I was different, everything is hard not because I’m not good enough or not trying hard enough I was just trying my whole life to function in the way that is impossible for me. Dx gave me the pewter to not hate who I was, it’s hard reframing my whole life, finding out there isn’t some secret method or drug to suddenly make life easier but acceptance and self compassion is so important
I literally thought I was Galadriel from Lord of the Rings growing up because I felt so different from everyone else hahaha. (Incidentally that’s one of my dream roles as an Autistic actor 😊😊) Now I know I am a magical elf person, but for a difference reason than I thought. And I am SO PROUD and overjoyed and relieved to know I am part of a beautiful community of people as magical as me.
Please come on tour to Sydney or Newcastle in Australia again I really badly want to meet you ❤
To put it into perspective, I arrived undiagnosed till 22. It felt like I was slowly getting sqweezed agains a wall cause I had no tools to get better, no job, no purpose, but time wasn't stopping, and the expectations neither. I was about to end it quite frankly. I even tried before, a few times, of which one almost succeded. I've been diagnosed very lazily and generically like "cluster b" (Dude which one lmao) "mood disorder" (Again, which one?). Until I found out about some videos on autism and I said "this is funny, isn't this normal? I thought autism was like being a genius or something more grand than this stuff". Yeah... After a few more videos and a lecture by tony atwood I was convinced and told my psychiatrist. She had luckily underwent a formative course on neurodevelopmental disorders and didn't brush me off, instead I started my evaluation and it turned out I was actually autistic. And then my life basically changed. It's hard to go from zero self worth to feeling good about yourself, but I did it. The diagnosis was such an important missing link and I felt like I had something to go forward. Now I'm almost 25. I don't want to harm myself, I don't want to die, I am much less insecure of my way of being... It's all different now. And being on disability I actually got help in finding a job for me. I'm gonna start my apprenticeship this month, wish me luck. I don't know if I'll make it but I don't care, cause I want to try, and keep trying, and before I didn't. Like I have some vision for my future. I also have to say that a diagnosis alone without change and accomodation will not do all that. We need support, and community, and people who understand. But I feel like there are more and more nowadays, so that's good. Don't give up guys.
Love you
Exactly!
Getting a diagnosis isn't easy in Australia. It's very expensive for starters, at least $1,000. Then there is the wait list to see a Specialist, often in terms of months. Then the Specialist may get the diagnosis wrong. A brief 40 minute consultation is noy long enough to ascertain the correct diagnosis. I reeled off all of the traits I have , and was told I'm not Autistic. Hmm. I spent a lot of money, waited months, only to be told "no". What now? Do I have to have a crisis, physically harm someone who bullies me, then be told oh you're actually Autistic?
vary smart Chloe
I agree to you
yesssss. I described myself as an alien from r years and never felt like I fit in. I knew I had add but it didn't fit the patterns when I was talking to a friend whose kid is in the spectrum and they were describing things they did, I kept going I do that, I do that... I wonder if I'm on the spectrum!
once I got the diagnosis it made me feel better to know that I'm not alone. that others do things like me too. it made me feel like I could find others just like me
jenny Lawson, aka the blogess, did the same for me with depression and anxiety. that I wasn't alone, that there are others just like me. that it can take different forms but its there
I love you you are amazing
this 100%, all of this.
Love you ❤
I didnt know I am Autistic until I saw you as Quinni!😍
True
Word
In this clip you remind me of a young Toni Collette
Chloé! Don't spill the beans, we are not ready to take over the Earth yet!👽
❤
Yes
Hi Chloe , I hope you see this bc I have a question. So I recorded a video of me reading “All the way to the top” (the book about Jennifer Keelan-Chaffins) to my plush babies. I got this book for my 14th birthday and It’s amazing and it deserves to be read out load by my inner child in my playful voice. It’s so cute and innocent and I thought people would think I act this way bc I’m autistic (not bc this is just the way I am).that’s the entire message of Jeremy the dud , disabled people are not children and deserve to get a job and live independently. I’m scared that this will give the wrong message. Pissing off ableists is very fun but pissing off some disability rights activist will suck. I did add a disclaimer saying this is not bc I’m autistic but I did say in the video “Jennifer proved that you don’t have to be an adult to talk about important things and I’m proving that you don’t have to be a child to play with Jake” (he’s my soft baby) so what should I do?
I have adhd and it’s not fun
@@YoshyOne Because most Autistics have ADHD, which is a symptom of Autism. ADHD is also a sign of neuro-divergency, which is a topic I'm not too familiar with, even though I am Autistic.
@@YoshyOne Chloe also just mentioned how this type of thing allows you to find community, relatability, and people who are like you to identify with. This person is stating the facts and being relatable. So it sounds legit to me. I have ADHD too, and can't function without meds for it. Actually, I'm a horrific driver without it 😆😂
Yes it suckd😢
@@lethalprincess2087 ADHD isn't a symptom of autism and ADHD isn't a sign of neurodivergence. ADHD symptoms can overlap with autism ones but they are different diagnoses. ADHD is a form of neurodivergence.
@@gaiar1020 I did some research on neurodivergency, and did find that out later on yesterday, but thank you for an explanation regardless. However, you're wrong about ADHD and Autism. ADHD actually IS a symptom of Autism. While ADHD is its own diagnosis, it's a symptom and characteristic that is commonly found in Autistic adults and children. However, just like any neurodivergent or human being with a developmental disability, not everyone experiences the same exact symptoms; though ADHD is naturally a common diagnosis alongside Autism due to the inability to focus and sit still both mentally and/or physically, which aids in causing the inability to process information (Autism thing).
Another symptom that also possesses its own diagnosis alongside being a common symptom of Autism is PTSD. Unfortunately, I have not met a single Autistic to date (including myself) that does not have PTSD. This is because our brains process stressful situations to the highest degree possible, thus causing us to panic in the same way a neurotypical might respond to a shooter, for example, or even a natural disaster.
But again, not all Autistics possess the same symptoms, especially since the Autism spectrum is nonlinear.
But just to be clear, it's obvious that not everyone who has ADHD is Autistic (kind of like how all apples are fruits, but not all fruits are apples-most Autistics have ADHD, but not everyone who has ADHD is Autistic), but again, it's nonetheless a symptom and a sign (among others) that help make up the Autistic mind of most individuals.
❤❤
My daughter is ASD level 2 and as she's getting older, I've been trying to find movies/shows with real representations of autism so maybe she can find it relatable.
So far the movie Please Stand By is the only movie I've found that does a good job of that.
Could you perhaps recommend something?
Thanks
We probably are aliens tbh
Is there a test to find out 4 sure if ur autistic? Back in the 80s i got told i can't be autistic because im a girl! When my brother got diagnosed. Yet i know something is/was different bout me just on how much i got bullied @ school. In some ways I'm worse than my brother! Maybe It'd be a good idea if a test is available every child who gets frequently targeted by bullys it could be the 1st clue ?!
it was my 1&th birthday on Thursday i love you
I do have adhd and am on the Austim spectrum but don’t feel valid because it’s “on the spectrum” or pdd-nos. Ik it doesn’t make sense and others with it are valid but I don’t feel that way for me…
you ARE valid, it's totally okay to be autistic and have ADHD !
I got 43 on an AED test 10 years ago, so I didn't Aced it, so I'm just less than half autistic, I guess. So my other half is alien.
If you needed a formal diagnosis from some nerd to validate you and your self worth Instead of realizing It naturally than that's kinda pathetic and sad
it's not pathetic or sad.