How To Stop Negative Self Talk
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- čas přidán 7. 06. 2024
- BEST FRIEND BRAIN
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So this is going to be one of those times where I share something I am just getting started on. In fact, I stumbled across this idea this week.
I was reading this book recommended by a friend and one of the lines stuck out to me, it was “I’m trying to be a best friend to myself”
And I thought hmmmm - so many of the times when i have been upset in my life come from times when I’ve not been a best friend to myself.
I want to invite you to spend one week changing your thinking to be more of a best friend towards yourself. I'll be trying the same thing :-)
2:49 Feel isolated mentally
3:56 Your best friend brain is solution-oriented
5:13 Best friend brain has high standards and gives you tough love
6:03 Your best friend brain is flattering
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I just, no lie, stood in front of the hallway mirror and said, "you and me are all we've got. so no matter what happens, I'm here for you best buddy." A little silly but I'm committing to this.
Lamar Gordon I love it! Feels goofy but I think it will be hugely helpful :-)
Lamar Gordon That's quite beautiful actually :)
Thanks guys :)
Some say that if you do that long enough the person in the mirror might ask for help.. To help him out of his prison...
Mirror on the wall, here we are again...through my rise and fall, you've been my only friend - Lil'Wayne
LET'S GO VOICES INSIDE MY HEAD. WE GOT THIS
HECK YEA BRO. YOU ARE THE GREATEST
DA WORLD BETTER WATCH OUT, HERE COMES A STUD
Jeremy Lakey hey man can I come?
Don Key, sure, but Jimmy is a jerk
the voices in my head vs the voices in your head
hello, your videos helped me get better in life overall, I'm getting a nice body, my social skills are higher than ever, and I'm mentally healthy, everything is going nice in my life, for all this I want to thank you, you are a nice person that deserve the best; keep up with the great work.
I'm the complete opposite, but it doesn't bother me. :P
***** and people like you are just too weak to make a major change in their lives, can just tell.
lol, he just said that he is happier and better in his life right now, thats great! dont come here with your negativity, its not worth listening, nobody cares, go back to tumblr.
Same for me. Since I discovered this channel I feel so much better about myself because I feel like everyday I am growing. Thank you Charlie
+Clearoot Well you just explained what other people have been saying so you must be 'listening'
"Mental Terrorism"..video length is 9:11..nothing weird here.
the NSA just added that comment to your file.
Reading your comments was the BOMB.
Wish I hadn't been informed!! 😂
Or is it? *v sauce music starts*
It was an inside thought.
That moment when you realize you don't have a best friend...
Carlos Rodriguez so go and meet new people being your most charismatic version, you will meet many interesting guys and they can become your best friends
Carlos Martínez I think we just became best friends
Carlos Rodriguez cool
Same here
You have to be your best friend first.
This is why Sherlock always talks to friends like Mycroft, Molly, etc. in his mind palace to solve a problem.
Dude, what you do with your channel is absolutely awesome. Always reasoning and given useful advice for people to become happier. Absolutely so glad I found your channel a couple months ago!
That 'best friend brain' thing is really useful. A few years ago I was on a pause with my wife (basically we broke up without divorcing, she moved etc.) and I fell into a pretty deep depression. Not waking up to see her face or waiting for our kids to come home was hell for me. But then I started talking to myself with her voice in my head and I actually got through it. I solved the problems in my life that made her distance herself from me and we got back together. So basically it was life saving for me.
To hear that other people are using this technique is really nice. I was under the conclusion I've gone mad in that period of time. Now that you of all people say it's a good thing I'm happy :D
Dude that’s awesome
Thanks, now I feel like Gollum-Sméagol.
😂
Merloki❧ lol
hail daenerys
best comment of the day hahahaha
It kind of seems like you're describing prayer exactly. Talking to another entity with a different voice, seeking comfort, looking for a solution, has high standards, doesn't necessarily answer back literally. Seems like what I do when I pray.
Michal Purzycki Thanks for that perspective.
It's the other way round, praying seems like you're just talking to yourself. And it is.
Zac ZM You have to be so rude? Grow up.
Michal Purzycki didn't he describe talking to yourself? You do get an answer, from yourself
Mr. Michal, I thought of the same thing!
I thought about making a comment about God, but thought, without it being a response to a comment, it would've been out-of-place. Yes, I think your "best friend brain" should be God. He definitely makes me more positive. It works! Prayer is a link to someone that thinks we're valuable, and that we can be great!
1. I try hard to do the right thing.
2. I have within me, the capacity to accomplish that which I wish to.
Amen, Jesus.
Mind if I use your voice as my best friend brain, Charlie? It just hit me now how much impact your channel has had on my life the past few months since I've subbed.
That's gay.
Bitch, please. *flicks wrist*
No, but seriously it's gay man.
I say go for it :-)
lmfao awesome!
if it's gay to use Charlie's voice as my best friend brain, consider me Ricky Martin.
Your spot on
It doesn't matter how hard life gets
If you are committed to improving and changing you have more going for you then majority of people in the world
Self talk is the key
Is Tyler Durden Charisma breakdown coming? Have you thought about it?
Soham Salunke 8:16 its coming next week!
He already did the multiple personality thing in this video.
You're full of so much wisdom its amazing and I just wanted to say you've really helped me. And don't even get me started on your speaking skills. One of my goals is to be at your level one day.
I've been trying to go through the hard time for two years which is really difficult to get along with myself. I almost got depression and still fighting with reality. Luckily I figured out how to talk myself out of the darkness. This is a really great perspective.
What I love about your work is how practical, open and real your advice is. My life has gotten a lot better since watching your videos.
I'm going to commit to this for a week! With your videos I find myself rewatching it again but then taking notes and making a little outline for myself so i remember the points i need to focus on! Thanks Man!!!!
Just got out of a 2yr relationship where the most important thing learnt was to love and be happy with yourself first. Good to come across this vid at a time like this. IM IN.
I'm 4 minutes in but I had to say this. I have, for many years, already seen myself and my brain as separate entities. The part that beats me up is a bully that lives inside my head, and I usually deal with it by telling it to go away and leave me alone. I've never thought to try taking control of the voice and making it say nice things instead. I'm gonna try this.
I swear everytime I am going through an issue, you always upload a video that is relevent to what I'm going through. It's freaky but each of those videos has really helped me. Thank you so much for making these videos.
I like it. It sounds a lot like stoicism. being your own best friend, being solution oriented, focusing on what one can control etc.
I'm joining in!
I'mma stop whining about my problems and actually work on getting the solutions because I know I can, and I'm Awesome, and I should acknowledge that more often.
You All Rock!
Keep Rockin'!
In a similar way I use the voice of an older version of myself looking out for my present self; much like the nurturing of an older sibling. Start by writing out your problems as if you were explaining them to a friend and really get into it - the whys and hows of what happened. And keep rewriting and going over it because initially I noticed I wrote as a victim taking pity on myself but eventually it turned into codes to live by and read whenever I needed that mental pull out of my dwelling. Just type it up on your phone so it's always there when you need it. It's all about rewiring your brain because the better you know yourself the better you can take care of yourself - you always know the solution. Great videos by the way, keep it up!
It's almost been 4 years since this video was published, but I'm in!. I've recently been binging and taking notes from all your self improvement videos and I hope that you do plan to do some more in the future, because these are pure gold! It's a shame that not as many people watch them as much as the charisma breakdowns.
I totally agree with each and every word u said , at times a person could torture himself in the worst way ever. But also on the other hand side u find ppl with a spoiled best friend mind in which I mean they pamper themselves so much and never carry responsibility for there actions. I guess that both edges r wrong and we must stay balanced .
I needed this SO MUCH today! Thank you man.
I cant tell you How much i needed this video today! I have been stressed all week about stupid things, and then right after I used this technique it was like I was focused and full I of energy and willpower
Perfect timing for this video, I've been going through the same mental change! One of the key phrases I've been telling myself is a reversal of the Golden Rule, "Treat Yourself The Way You'd Treat Other People." Thanks for the video, Charlie, great work as always!
I think I've got the charisma thing down ages ago by carefully observing people and not particularly studying emotions but practicing what I've seen. Still watching you talk about it is superbly entertaining.
Never thought someone would address this! I picked this "Best Friend" brain up several years ago and it pulled me out from depression. I use it whenever I feel down or confused. Definitely helps to feel less lonely especially if you're single.
Thanks for putting this on video and reminding us that we're not as lonely as we tell ourselves :)
Thank you so much! As someone who´s been going through, and in some ways still am going through the same thing, this helps on a level nothing else has been!
needless self criticism is such a common and corrosive problem. it really saps self esteem and robs so many people of their potential.
good video, and great idea to involve others.
I also find it amazing how talking to ourselves is much more effective when we use a voice,image or persona belonging to someone else (whether a friend, mentor or personal hero). it really allows me to more effectively hear and accept the ideas I otherwise find it impossible to take onboard.
Thank you for the amazing video, these have really helped me to be more positive and improve myself. This best friend voice is a great tip and I will definitely apply from now. Please keep more great videos coming, I really appreciate and enjoy watching them. Thank you Charlie!
You're a gem of CZcams. You're changing so many lives including mine (in a positive way). Keep up the good work! :)
You have a very nice way with words. Love the way you explain things so freely and coherently :)
I’m in for a week! Thank you so much for giving amazing advice Charlie! It is great timing for me to come across this video.
Just stumbled on this video from a year ago (I’ve watched a ton of your content already)... Charlie, thanks for doing what you do. every video I watch from you gives me another new mindset or perspective
I'm in.
"I love you too much to be unhappy over this" also is something I'm going to use a lot in the future when helping my friends and myself through things for sure.
This channel is amazing, but this video in particular has been invaluable. Thank you so much! ❤
How did you become so self-aware? So full of wisdom at such a young age. I am very impressed with this young guy.
I'm in! I love your work and your channel by the way! Thank you so so much for what you do and all your hard work!!
Thankyou for inspiring me to be a better person my friend
This sounds like prayer! Often times David in the psalms would pour out his pain and frustration to God but then relay to himself the beauty and love of his God and tell his own soul to worship Him and never to forget any of His benefits. God would play the role of a best friend and often times this is where we of faith remember that we have an advocate in Heaven that is for us and sees us for who we are and wants the best for us!
Community is so important but like you say, we need to give ourselves permission to rehearse these positive voices in downcast moments that leave us feel a little hopeless, and remember that sometimes times we are our own worst enemy and voice. Great video !!
I really needed to watch this video. Your example about the friend being upset over roommate messiness is like to a T one of my biggest frustrations right now, and I hate it. It's caused me so much stress and I can't figure out quite why, but the words you spoke about "You're better than this. Are you going to let your hour or day being ruined because there are plates where you don't them to be left by someone who you're really close to, etc." hit home so hard, I may have to watch this on a loop for it to register because my own voice and best friend brain were not getting out these exact words. Thank you for your videos and I can't wait to watch more! :)
Daaaaang Charlie, back at it with the awesome video! Amongst all the time-wasting videos on CZcams, your channel is like an oasis where you always come out of refreshed and a better self!
I'm looking at this in hindsight what you are advising is what I eventually figured out the hard way and it has made a world of difference in my confidence and how I feel each day. Not a day goes by when I don't complement myself at least once and I catch myself early when I start to 'mentally terrorise' myself. Thanks for sharing
These are amazing. I never thought about complimenting myself. It usually ends up negative. Thank you. I’m gonna try this.
I would like to thank you for doing what you do. You have changed how I view myself, and how I treat myself. It's not easy, but you have inspired me to start to change my attitude to myself. 😊
The need to live in the moment for me. I burrowed deeply in the last few months, I hope this method will help.
This is my main problem! I'm with you Charlie!
Thanks man. This video came just at the right moment (really difficult exams coming up). I'll try to adopt my thought patterns and I'll be doing this for the next week together with you.
I hear my best friends pep talks long after she gives them to me. Her encouraging words keep me grounded. :)
Can you please make a video about introverted people?
Or ambiverts. Although that one would be seriously boring :)
What do you expect him to say? Introverted people are introverted? Watch his other videos if you need help with confidence.
***** Heh, so talking to a stranger is magic in your analogy? :)
Well all of his videos are for introverted people. He makes charisma videos for people who aren't as charismatic and would like to learn how to.
@@IAmAFamel I know I'm late to the party, but I have to say, there are introverted people who are charismatic and confident. Introverted doesn't mean your automatically not self-confident or aren't charismatic. It's how they get their energy. Extroverted people get their energy from outside themselves, ex. groups of people. Introverts just need time alone to recharge. It doesn't mean that they can't go out with others and be charismatic. It just takes more energy. And, I know plenty of extroverted people who aren't charismatic.
your videos are one of the few that are actually worth watching on this platform
Dude.. Your videos really do have a reason. Im loving it
That was a life changing advice! I now think about the times i could do something but said to myself you just can't do it,give up. It was a big mistake! We shouldn't be the limit of ourselves. And we shouldn't expect someone else to encourage and support us we should do that on our own.
l hope that you have the best in this life and the next. you're helping me and other people through this channel. I can't thank you enough for it but thank you very much
Hey thanks man, I love this you being your best friend, It does help to imagine a person who is dear to you and then project you situation onto him and be supportive with the points made in the video and then turn around and try to feel the presence of a very supportive friend...
Thank you for making this video. I so needed this. My life has been pretty challenging this year and I've just been in a funk; thinking negatively, the whole works. I'm committing to doing this. I really think it will help. Thanks again.
~ Glad to hear it Julie! Best of luck :-)
I personally don't have any problem with socializing and stuff like that but your videos definitely have a really positive philosophy. I like that when you say for more tips you put a link to another one of your videos and not some $50 seminar DVD or stupid thing like that so good stuff
I actually have been working on this the last few weeks! I love the extra tips the video gave me.
Okaay, I should accept that you talk clearly and in detail about those things I thought about, but never said to anyone. Thank you for bringing this useful info in an understandable way to the society. Great job, dude:)
great video! ironically I did this about a year ago and I've never felt so good! perspective is good, being objective is difficult to get the result but it's great when you do!
*This is gold, so simple yet so useful!*
I think this is a great idea. I mean you're the only one who can really connect and understand yourself. You're always going to be there and, well, you have to be there for yourself for you never know when all you'll have is Yourself.
I `ve actually done that best friend voice for a long time and it really works well when you`re fealing sad and cant talk to anybody
There is a TED Talk "How to practise emotional first-aid" and I've heard about this best-friend mindset amongst several other improvements for a better self-care. And since watching that I've started to pay attention to my inner critic. It's unbeliavable for me (a benevolent and conscious one, ayayay) how strongly repressed the presence of that energy was. I couldn't sense it and yet, when I started to pay attention, it became obvious that it ruled most of my decisions!!! Shocker - shadow work at its best. So I dragged this critic out into the sun, examined its motives and learned a lot about this power I can exude now in my life, with the critic's force within, hand in hand, in a heartbeat unisono.
im in, i needed this, thanks for sharing what you are just learning, that sentence opened a whole new perspective, thank you :) :) :)
I'm doing this now gotta speak it into existence.
I was doing my homework and browsing through youtube because i really didn't want to do my homework, i thought my homework was so hevy and so boring but after watching this video i literally created a random voice in my head and told myself that is not hard to finish this homework at all! and i believed it!!! thank you so much, you are literally helping me and hundreds of thousands of other people become better people.
What an accomplishment!!
oooohhhhhhshizzzzzz every time I feel lazy like that i think to myself do I wanna be successful or do I wanna be pushing carts at Costco, hope this motivates you good luck!!
aaaahahaha that actually pretty good motivation :)
The second step really helps being a better league player as well x) Really like the video, I'm constantly in this situation were I talk myself down when I'm alone, I've dealt wiith it for a long time and I'm getting better everyday for 2 years now. I'm not done and I might never will but adapting a sort of best friend brain like you described it is really helpful. Keep improving!
You are so well spoken. Thank you for the advice.
I've been using this for 10 years now. It changed my life. I went from homeless to successful. My in on the process was this, I gave really good advice to my friends but never followed my own advice. So I decided to approach problems by seeking advice from my best friend self. It works great.
Another way to approach this is to be the best friend and allow the real you to be someone else for awhile. I would pick a friend and pretend they were in the situation and then wrote them a letter. Later I would read that letter as addressed to myself.
Love your analysis! I always remind myself that I'm my own best friend & equally be my own worst enemy. I find there's equal value in both relationships. One can flatter & calm which is great but keeping myself humble by acknowledging & taking responsibility for my shortcomings through constructive criticism has probably been the more beneficial as far as self awareness & personal growth. Stoked to have found & subscribed to your channel! You have great perspective, perception & incredible talent in the art of relaying your message in a universally understood way. I love your Game of Thrones videos too. I've been force-feeding myself the show lately but haven't been able to connect & your observations of the characters, their motives & methods has been so fascinating! Great commentary. (Sorry for the essay 😊) G'Day!
Love this video. Great tips about saying it in your friends' voice. Keep sharing with us what you are learning
Simply, I love your content. Keep up the good work.
you are a great speaker, and this message is truly important, for everyone! thank you
im brazilian and u are so special!!! thanks for all those words, ive been whatting you and have been great! ❤
His videos are great for learning to read lips. I just discovered this because I remembered how well he enunciated. Also great content keep it up.
I think that's pretty amazing, thank you so much for presenting the concept😁👍🏻 and I'm definitely on it for (at least) a week
your videos have become so much better!
My best friend is also a mentor to me so I can relate. I'm totally taking up these habbits with you
Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge. Needed this info.
your videos are amazing. this was exactly what I needed. I'll definetly try it :)
Yo im in it for a week! I really needed to see this video today. I just returned to college, and noticed that I have been extremely critical of my actions in social situations, to the point of really being hurtful to myself, so I think this will really be helpful!
Thank you for this video!
This video is GOLD
This is just such excellent advice.
Thank you, Charlie! I needed this. I'll do this with you.
I honestly really really needed this video right now
I'm definitely in for the week! Excited to see how it turns out.
I am with you this week!
one of my favorite channels of all time, thanks again! :-)
i used this method a lot 2 years ago. it wasn't my friend's voice, it was a voice that came from some place inside and i overcame anything that went my way
Yep can vouch for this, I've already been doing it before I saw this video and it sure helps! I will look to do it even more often now and observe.
What personally helped me a lot was watching and listening to motivational videos, of Greg Plitt etc. After listening to these tracks for so long (I saved them as MP3s) I internalized the advice and see myself guided by their advice, funny enough I'm also thinking of them in a different voice.
Your videos are really good! And I actually need these methods now. Thank you so much.
Just watching you on the screen make me feel better.. you really have that effect
This video was great and informative:)videos like this break the though-cycle in my own head, allowing for new insights and making me progress towards a happier and more at peace state of self:) Thanks for the work man!:)
Whuuuut whaaat I'm going to try this lol. Thank you for making this vid and having an impact not only in my life but the life of others 🙌
💗 thankyou for making this video