How to Unlock Your Motivation.
Vložit
- čas přidán 26. 10. 2020
- Mental Health support developed by Dr. K: bit.ly/2K3EMSu
Merch Sales go to our Coaching Program: healthygamerstore.com/
_____
Dr. K is a Harvard-trained psychiatrist and co-founder of Healthy Gamer. In this video he argues that people rarely lack motivation, their motivation is blocked or locked. Motivation can get tied up because we have too many things to do which drains our motivation.
In this video, Dr. K explains how to unlock your motivation.
_____
DISCLAIMER
Healthy Gamer is an online community and resource platform for gamers and their families. It does not provided medical services or professional counseling, and it is not a substitute for professional medical care. Our coaches are peer supporters, not professionally trained experts, and they cannot provide medical service. If you or a loved on are experiencing an emergency, please call your nation's emergency telephone number.
All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.
Become a Healthy Gamer!
Healthy Gamer Merch Store: healthygamerstore.com/
Discord: healthygamer.ac-page.com/discord
Support us on Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/healthygamer
Interviews & Lectures: / healthygamergg
Twitch Channel: / healthygamer_gg
Podcast: open.spotify.com/show/6VaJwyS...
#motivation #lifeadvice #psychology
What are you going to settle in your past?
dr k, can i talk to you for 10 mins video call?
Prolly going to sort all my dreams and focus on the single most important one now. Thanks Dr. K
godd i have so many barely-started or half-finished dead projects sitting in folders, just haunting me constantly. i need to move the fuck on tbh
My wrongs
I'm letting go of the past, it's all about progress and self improvement towards my future
I've been wanting to unlock this achievement for such a long time...
Same
@@osku2290 4Head reply.
@@MaintainMundane 5Head reply.
imagine you could make that pling sound in your head
Same here, for years man. It's rough. Best of luck to you
I feel it's important to point out, often times "fixing the past" is not just physical, not just amending all you can and committing to that for the future; it means realizing what has gone wrong that you cannot change, and forgiving yourself.
wow thank you
True.
I guess realisation comes when you identify what/who you did wrong.
Forgiving yourself is the hardest part
@@nido2 Not when going to meetings you like regularly, taking care of basic needs, and working the steps with a sponsor. But what is the hardest varies individually , maybe it is to you. What has stopped me is mainly not getting the health-care I need ,support and basic needs, having difficulties finding a suitable, stable, available sponsor, and knowing how to see my part in being abused.
I've done wrongs. I can't change them. But everyone has wronged and has regrets and the people who love me and who will love me, they wouldn't want me constantly drowning in regret. It's not only ok to forgive yourself - it's necessary in order to truly move on.
That's literally what happened to me in my early 20s, had dropped out of high school, had dropped out of trade school had no driving license, life felt like it was going nowhere, so i fell into depression and just focused on the one thing i felt i know how to do, play video games. Eventually that also started to feel shallow so i made an admittedly botched attempt at suicide, because turns out i didn't actually want to die, i just didn't know how to live. Realizing that, i just said fuck it and restarted from the bottom while constantly training myself to stop caring about the "big picture". Worked a fast food job where i learned how to have a proper work ethic and felt rewarded and supported for it, went back and finished high school, then went back and got my driver's license (its a pretty big deal where i live, really hard to go around without one), got promoted to management at my job where i kept learning more about myself and eventually finally went back to trade school to learn a trade. Now i'm looking to pursue things into college as a lot of my trade skills are transferable towards earning an undergrad. That's basically my 20s in a nutshell.
But i feel its a common problem now because of how much we're overexposed to everyone elses life. Social media etc. Its really hard to not start comparing ourselves to others and set some weird and arbitrary standards for each other (saw a post on Twitter a few weeks ago saying basically if you don't amount to anything between 18 to 25 you're fucked... wonder how Dr.K would feel about that one). We're also constantly bombarded with the success of others without any of the context around it, including the work these people put into it, but also things outside of someone's control like upbringing, social status of their parents and whatnot.
The "task paralysis" explanation hit the nail on the head. The moment i have to complete anything more than 1 task at a time i get completely paralysed and almost have to lie to myself that i actually only have 1 task and that the other is optional which helps a lot, even though its not. Kinda crazy
Thanks for that comment !
It’s the same reason I can never watch anything on Netflix
The best image I can come up with is that of a computer. Our brain has some amount of RAM, and a task manager. If we have one process running, it all works fine ; if we have 13 programmes including a browser with 400 tabs open, even launching the calculator might take a while or freeze the computer because of a lack of resources.
BRILLIANT example! Love a functional metaphor~
Thank you for that, you speak my language bro
Wonderful, thank you. With me having ADHD too, it's like my PC is a Threadripper but with a shitty cooler and 2GB RAM
I dont even have many goals/responsibilities and I still don't feel like studying
what sucks is not all of us have the same amount of RAM
Imma be honest here: because mental conditions can be so overwhelming, sometimes is really hard to figure it out what I am feeling and even harder to explain to myself and others why am I feeling like that, it seems that whenever I try to figure it out what's going inside my head, all I get is alphabet soup. Trying to read my thoughts makes me feel illiterate. But then you have this channel, with Dr. K willing to untangled those thoughts and feelings and try to easy it for us, and sometimes is the most secure I feel the whole day.
Also, the way everything in the video is raw: visual, a clear and honest talk, no over-produced thumbnails that we see in other videos... just helps to know he is someone who is very serious about mental health.
@Lucas Bernardini Thanks, man =) Glad you found a way and you are figuring it out! Thanks for the support, let's all work together to get better =)
@@blyez2165 thanks for your comment blyez. Ven though it provides no answer it gives me hope.
ive felt incredibly frustrated with myself in the past because of this.
Yeah whenever I try to tell others how I feel or what my problems are I'm always either vague or repeating the same things over and over because of my mind being all cluttered and confused. Been watching Healthy Gamer for a little while now and I think this is the video that hit me.
Conclusion: Motivation's not lacking. Motivation is just blocked and tangled. You untangle this strained motivation by settling past karmic debts, in order to unburden and clear your unconscious mind. By doing so, you gain clarity in regards to your intention within the present.
One example of where I unburdened myself:
I used to sit down and grind out essays for college in 8-12 hour sittings. The essays were short but I spent more time than necessary. I completed about one page every 2 to 3 hours.
I tried something new where I limited my tasks relating to my essay by setting the quota to half a page a day. So my mind would stop tracking my essay after I hit that quota. This prevented me from getting burned out and slowing down from thinking too much. I was able to average 40 minutes to an hour per page. A couple times quicker than before. This freed up so much time for me to also unburden myself from external tasks outside of my essay.
This sounds like a really good method, dude. I think I have a similar issue right now, so I will have to give this a try. Glad to hear you're doing better :))
I’m gonna try this
I actually have tried this method once and it was very effective for me. So I had to do 3 essays in English subject and the deadline was Sunday, I started on Wednesday and I was thinking of doing all 3 essays in a day, but I was unmotivated to do 3 of them so I just started with only 1 essay
to do and I finished it within an hour. I felt a small relief after I did the first essay. Then the next day (Thursday) I started to do the second essay but I took some break so my brain could relax a bit and not get tired. And afted that I finished the 2nd essay. Then the next day (Friday) I thought of finishing the 3rd essay on Saturday since the deadline of the 3 essays were Sunday but I thinked about how relieved I'm going to be and how much free time I'm gonna get if I finished it that day. So I did my 3rd essay and finished it that day. And damn I was so relieved after that. I felt better.
@Dhruv Gupta basically like I wasn't thinking about the finish line. When the finish line is far away, a task can seem very daunting and may discourage you from even trying.
this is very simple but clever reverse psychology. I do the same by telling myself "You have a 30 minute time limit for writing today" and then I get much more done than if I told myself I had all day to do the writing. Because if you don't set a limit your brain will simply procrastinate, stretch time, and you will torture yourself and neglect all other tasks.
I used to seek motivation to do things that had to be done. I read books, watched motivational videos and they gave me motivation but it disappeared within days. It was like a motivation injection, similar to instant reward system my brain is used to in modern age of games and entertainment. Next stage I entered was that I started blaming the way I was raised. Always getting what I wanted and never taught the value of working to get rewarded. Didn't stay on that stage for long since I like to think I'm relatively rational person and blaming the past wouldn't create future.
Then I heard a question; "Why do you need motivation to do things?". Don't even remember where I heard it or read it but the question stayed in my head for quite some time. Had long internal monologues where I analyzed this question. Came to realization that one does not need motivation to do something. If I needed to study, not having motivation wasn't some physical thing or person who hid all my books and told me to stay away from them. I started hating the idea that something imaginary that is born from my own mind like motivation would decide if I could do something or not. It would mean limiting myself. Why would I limit my own growth? After that I started skipping the question if I had motivation to do something or not because it became irrelevant.
Perfect solution KDX. I will use this thank you.
I think you do need motivation to do stuff, and I think your motivation just changed from doing X for the sake of doing X, to a more convincing reason fopr doing X. Making the choice to do X so that you feel in control of your life is a better motivation. It's empowering but you're still motivated to do X, it's not like you're just doing it for no reason at all. Like, there's clearly a motivation to study if you're studying right?
the brain has a reward system, it motivates us to seek pleasure and avoid pain. so it's not an imaginary thing but something in our subconscious
The mind can play tricks on you. If something is bothering you too much though that not even a support group can help, then we might have to go in for more specialized care. The Twilight Zone (song by Golden Earring) gives you an otherworldly example of what someone’s mind goes through at 2am.
@@zoorrken sometimes you can have no motivation but still do something though?
I watched this and immediately contacted someone I've been thinking about making amends to for years now... It felt like such a relief to get my regrets off my chest, own my mistakes, and apologize to my dear friend with whom I've been estranged.
Thank you for making this video.
Thank you for making this comment I had a couple people I needed to thank and I have been putting it off for too long.
"Work the steps" kinda needed to hear this all rn.
The first time I watched this video on the day it released I thought it was corny and I cringed at the thought of making amends with my past.
Now, for the past month due to a set of events, I realized I need to do exactly that, and it's actually one of the most revealing things I've ever done. "My motivation is not lacking, I enjoyed video games just fine." However, video games were my coping mechanism for a series of self-image, family, societal etc issues I've been pushing to the bottom. Playing video games served as a way to avoid those negative emotions. Now that I'm beginning to dig into the sources behind those issues and making amends with the reality of the situation, I've been thinking different, feeling different (actually, beginning to experience emotions on a level long lost), and more.
A small but fulfilling example I'll share is ever since I started to work on unblocking my motivation, now I just do chores. As someone whose suffered from strong ADHD and depression for most of my life, it's a completely alien experience for the thought of doing the dishes and "I should do the dishes" to become one, leading to me just *doing* the dishes. It literally feels like I unlocked a new level in myself.
So if you were like me and think the idea is cringe, I ask that you reconsider, observe what you're feeling before you dive into video games/whatever your coping mechanism is, and dive into those feelings. It's going to be difficult. I recommend you write/type down the thoughts as they go through your head, looking at those thoughts from a 3rd person perspective can help a lot.
Vergil sees this:
"Now I am motivated"
This is not scummmm
I can absolutely confirm that this is true. When I moved to a new town, I specifically decided not to do ANYTHING until I wanted to - and I got a lot done nice and pleasantly. But gradually I found myself overwhelmed with obligations again, and now can't get anything done again. It's like I'm allergic to anything being mandatory.
This is truly prime content. This doesn’t feel like a toxic self-help guide, but rather, a real self-help guide with explanation of how we work! Thanks HealthyGamerGG
9:25 One word "Compound interest" It compounds that's what I have experienced too. You do something and it feels like nothing is happening but suddenly you feel progress. I think this applies to everything in life
Okay but that's two words.
I've seen that for introverted people, forgiving yourself really helps too
So no motivation is actually too many unfulfilled motivations. That makes a lot of sense.
Dr.K I just wanted to say, that I really appreciate what you're doing for the culture.
Greetings from Germany!
Your first webinar that also talks about motivation really helped me in my life. After watching your videos, I've managed to solve most of my karmic ties and today, 2 months after that I was feeling burden, I'm having the most productive period of my life: I'm averaging 200 hours of productive time(not overwork) in a month.
I'm feeling happier than I remember I ever was.
Thank you, Dr. K.
Could you provide examples of those Karmic ties, and what steps you took to unburden yourself from them? I'm really curious
@@FlarkeFiasco Sure, I hope my experience could help people figure it out too: first, allow me to digress a little. It's really important to understand what is involved with karmic ties. The thing about karmic ties, is desire: but not necessarily desire to do great things in life. It could literally be any kind of desire, and desire generates burden. With too much burden it means we will get overwhelmed. Being overwhelmed means the "task paralysis" Dr. K. explained, the task paralysis is basically your mind telling you to solve the unsolved things first, before proceeding with everything else. That's why although you want to do other things, your mind is trying to tell you, to solve the things in the past first, because he can't handle so much burden.
Now how do you react with so much burden? You can go 2 ways, you solve the burden, or you shut your mind off. The main problem is that we don't always have perfectly consciously what that burden is, actually I think most times we don't even know we have a burden, in which was my case. I was trying to solve the wrong thing all this time. My burden was not lack of motivation, and that I was a lazy fuck, it was in fact addiction, to games, porn and internet. Ironically, my deepest desire was to stop being addicted, and that burden generated by the desire was actually making me shut my mind off and do the things that I was addicted to, so it was a vicious cycle that I was feeding all these years.
So my karmic tie was the desire to stop being addicted to be more healthy and have a more productive life. Summarizing the steps that I've done to solve the addiction, was to understand why I was addicted. Then I stumbled across a video from Dr. K. explaining about dopamine exhaustion. I understood the why's and how's about that, and the first thing I did was to contact all my friends that I play with, and said that I was very sorry, but I need to focus on my life now, and that I really wanted to keep in contact with them. Then, although that might not work for everybody, I went cold turkey and uninstalled all my games. Then, I started using an app that blocks websites, and that blocks apps from the smartphone too. Then, I completely shut my PC off, and I made a list of things I could do that did not involve a PC/phone: clean the house, organize my wardrobe, etc, in order to get clean of the addictions.
That worked tremendously well. Holy shit. But although removing the addictions were very important, IMO the most important thing that made me go forward, is the gift we are given by Dr. K : in one video, he asked "Why do you think people feel better after watching my videos?", and the answer is because we start understanding how our mind works, and that's how you start fixing things.
@@Ouaueaio This was helpful thanks, I wanna prepare for a really important exam but I think my karmic tie is my desire to learn everything about everything, it's not possible but I wanna learn as much as possible, I wanted to study for the exam but task paralysis set it, like "I wanna learn topology, neural networks, lagrangian mechanics, tensors, physics engines, biochemistry, differential geometry, quantum mechanics, x86 assembly, real and complex analysis and a 1000 other things" I think all those desires were acting as "karmic ties" and were inducing task paralysis
@@mastershooter64 I wish you luck with your journey
I love the little breakdown of topics at the right side of the screen. Helps to follow and stay on track! Thank you very much.
great for people like myself who have ADHD.
i've gone through periods where i was really motivated, worked 10-13 hours straight on a craft i wanted to learn and gain financial freedom from, only 4 days later to get discouraged by someone who "knows it all" don't listen to others, learn as you perform, and carry on.
This actually helped me out a lot, thank you dr. K.
This totally makes sense both in my own physchological experience, and in my limited spiritual understanding.
Thanks Doctor K
Been overwhelming/paralyzing myself for the past 10 years. I figured it out recently partly thanks to some of your other videos. Great stuff! Thanks a lot!
Thanks so much! Exactly what I needed right now, I’m falling behind with school work and for almost half a year since the start of the pandemic and a bit before I felt like I had “no motivation” your explanation and advice helps a lot and in a sense gives me motivation that I can actually get over this hurdle!
Love it! Thanks for making this
this has helped me so much omg, i realize now thats exactly what ive been needing to do. Instead of pushing forward and hoping I land on my feet, i need to go back and tend to the mess behind me so I can see clearly.
the task paralysis got me right as i was staring at my planner with the 5 tasks i WANT or AIM to do per day...im so glad i found this video
I really needed this now, can´t thank you enought.
This is amazing Dr. K, thank you. Keep on the hard work, I'm sure you're changing a lot of people's lives
This is perfect timing for me. Thank you so much!
Thank you, Dr.K. HealthyGamer is truly a force that goes against all the mental health issues of this century
Thank you Dr. K. I find this to be extremely helpful.
This is an incredible video, thank you so much!
Hey Dr.k just found your channel yesterday and I’m loving what your doing for this generations mental health and advice! If you see this I hope you have a great rest of your day I just wanted to send a positive message to you!
Woah, this is the first advice I've gotten on this problem of mine that I've never heard ANYWHERE else before, I really appreciate the work you do for us out here man, I'm gonna step back and do some thinking
Great stuff! Thank you sooo so much!
This is so spot-on. Thank you.
i like this video format good job everyone !
I've been struggling for a few months with motivation. I just realised that I was paralyzed under the burden of lots of things to do. Really helpful video. Thanks doc ☺️
I just wanted to say thank you for sharing this, it means a lot to some people
Really liking this video format.
Much needed video Dr. K, thank you! I've always felt myself bogged down and overwhelmed, and you've conveyed it precisely. Whether it be settling something in my past or just completing all these lesser tasks I've let pile up, they just continue to burden my mind and I end up not progressing forward in what I truly want to do because I keep worrying about everything else.
I think I get it, but I feel like it's trauma that I need to deal with, I don't really have anyone that I wronged, it was others that were treating me like shit. Perhaps the way to look at it is that I need to make amends with myself, as I used to blame myself (and hurt) for all the things that happened to me.
Let me know how you achieve this.
same with me! even imagining going back sends me into anxiety because i haven’t really wronged much just been in the wrong mental state at the wrong time
My motivation comes when I cut the people that wronged me out of my life. But I can't keep at it because this includes my parents and that's really hard to do for me.
@@lyubomirblazhev1014 Yeah I ended up cutting out almost everyone and ended up more depressed an anxious than ever. Starting to think it's fucking stupid advice. It's better to just put yourself in a position to bully those people into submission.
This was exactly my thought. What about those who don't need to apologise?
Instead want to get across to that person or group of people, and explain how you felt during/after that negative experience?
Thank you for breaking this concept down for us!
👏🏾🧠
I am glad to have come across this video; thank you for making it!
so glad i started watching these videos. ive been in so many toxic relationships my whole life and my self-esteem and confidence was at an all time low- a lot of others bad habits leaked into my everyday life. watching this reminded me i do love myself, my life, i have goals, aspirations, they just need to be unblocked from past experiences. therapy never made me realize as much as this video has. thank you
This is golden. Thank you Dr. K, your content is great and what the world needs.
I have to thank you a lot for this video. For the longest time I've been telling myself that I had no motivation despite wanting to do a bunch of things. But I think that this video showed me a more accurate way to portrait what I truly feel and I think that I was confusing the lack of motivation for a lack of clear goal. A lot of stuff in here really resonated with me, specially since I feel like I'm trapped in myself with as the more stuff I don't do the more miserable I feel but for some reason I can't seem to bring myself to start pursuing the things I want. I will try to make amends with the past, but since I think the person I've wronged the most is myself, I'll need to really look deep into some stuff.
I'm really grateful for your work and once again thank you for helping me understand myself a little bit better.
Thanks, Dr. K.
The little notes on the side are super helpful!
This is amazing! Thank you.
Definitely gonna watch this later and see if it helps me unlock my motivation for taking drawing seriously
Task Paralysis sure sounds like what I felt when I was supposed to work on my Bachelor's Thesis. Suffice to say, I didn't do any of it and ended up repeating the year.
I love how your videos are set up Dr. K. The updating sidebar to help breakdown everything that you've covered helps me comprehend everything going on and keep track of the points you made!
I love the information edited on the side, makes it really easy to follow the whole conversation.
You're right. I have something from the past which is blocking me and I really didn't know how to handle it. By making excuses like you said I feel better. Thanks for sharing all these information.
Hey i know you hear this a lot from people, but really thank you you have really been a strong influence in making my life better
Fantastic video, would love to see more of them in this type of format. You guys at HG are great, thanks for what you're doing.
Love this new format! It's exactly what I needed right now.
Thank you so much for this Dr. K! I am a 15 year old sophomore and I struggle a lot with motivational issues and anxiety, and i have to say that your channel helps a ton :) keep up the amazing work and I hope to be in a working position like yours one day in the future!
This is the kind of video format that could reach more people. The video is shorter, it' about specific topic, has notes on the side, and even the way Dr.K talks seems different. 100% thumbs up
This has been incredibly helpful in my understanding. I have been feeling very confused on this topic, so I really appreciate the insight!
Love you my man. Thanks you for all that you do. :)
When you started talking about being paralyzed at 2:50 I started thinking wow so its not just me because I had thought my A.D.D was to blame because I have to do online school, learn to drive, work, and still feel human by playing and streaming video games.You're videos are putting my life together.Thank you soo much!❤ This may be because of the placebo effect but honestly I don't think so ever since I've been watching your videos my grades went up my driving has gotten better and I got a raise at work!
My notes. 11-25-2020
You don't have a lack for motivation, but blocked.
Each goal you have is a ring that ties you until you get them, and be free of them.
Problem is you have too many goals, so you get pulled to too many things.
i.e. when you ask someone what they want to do in life, they'd say "I want to do it but I can't". This is the symptom of a block.
Kinds of motivation locks
1. You need to do too many things - especially for people behind in life.
Excellent example: Alcoholics may have their conscious mind to want to change, but their subconscious ain't focused towards the same goal, because their subconscious mind is burdened so heavily. So many karmic ties, so much burden to the subconscious.
Solution:
- Have one thing in mind. Too many things in your mind disallows your subconscious to help your conscious mind. Result is no
motivation.
- Make amends with your past. This way your subconscious won't be burdened, and motivation will be unblocked.
- Relapse is ok for bad habits, for as long as you keep doing the steps. Make amends.
absolutely awesome video! As someone who's had their life improve so much from your content and work this is really awesome for me and others I know as well. Since dealing with myself applying things I've learned from your interviews I don't have time to watch a lot of the long form stuff anymore. I've since started a career and I genuinely spending less time at my screen, it's hard to find the time. But this is a perfect style and I still get to see me some Dr K :)
This is the best thing I ever heard. Thank you so much for this
I feel like this makes sense. Like when there are times, let’s say you had to tell somebody something that you really didn’t want to, something that gave you stress and anxiety. Stress and anxiety to the point that you felt stuck, you felt you couldn’t do things like go to the grocery store, you couldn’t get into that video game, or watch that movie. And let’s say after you finally bit the bullet and made the call, you figured out the outcome wasn’t as bad as you thought and that it would all be fine. Or it was bad but, you confronted it and still felt a lot of relief and stress off your back and can focus on moving forward to fix it. So on a grander scale of something much more serious that you never resolved, you never, “bit the bullet and made the call”, if you will. And after the immediate stress is gone after a week or two, month, or even months depending on the situation. When you come back to what feels like some kind of normality, you can still be left with a feeling of stuck or a weight on your shoulders holding you back. You may not realize that it is just as heavy as it was when it was first set on your shoulders because you have become so used to it being there or you may have become so used to it that you didn’t even realize that it still bared any weight at all.
wow, simply wow, never thought it that way, gonna make peace with my past then, thought everything would be better by just ignoring it/not remembering it and moving forward.
Thanks man, this really helps a lot !!
Great video format and really appreciate the bullet points for each section! Helpful video that isn't too specific but informative enough to get started on working on my motivation.
I really like the sidebar too. I just wish it was on the left, as it's where most people are used to read. :) And I love your philosophies! I will definitely subscribe.
One thing I'm interested in hearing about is uncovering Karmic debts. I have low motivation, but I can't necessarily see any unpaid karmic debt to be settled like you say here in the video.
From what I can tell, karmic debts can just be seen as regrets or problems you have around you. They might be with a person, or they might be something a little lesser. Maybe you don't like the way your room is set up. Maybe you haven't done something you should. Listing these sorts of things may help you out in that process.
@@BacchusGames This is a fantastic explanation. Meditation and journaling is extremely beneficial for these types of things. It probably won't out in the beginning, which is why you gotta keep trying, and keep practicing.
Uncovering Karmic Debts cant be as simple as you haven't paid the ticket you got, or You haven't applied to school again and you really want to go back. Maybe you forgot to do your instagram bio and you have been procrastinating it. It doesn't have to be a wrong you've done. Its just a task you've been meaning to do but haven't done, if you do that task, if you do all of them, it gives your unconscious mind less to worry about or work for, so you can focus on the 1 thing you REALLY want to get done.
@@BacchusGames this was also very useful to me cause the impression I got from the video was a karmic debt is something I had done "wrong" to myself or someone else and I wasn't sure if it was any problem that my mind focused on in general.
@@codeinetcetera can you recommend any books or media along this path?
I’m really unsure of what I need to settle from my past. I hope it’ll come to me. Thank you for this video Dr. K. It was so insightful and helpful.
That absolutely is helpful. Thank you Dr. K, this one is getting bookmarked
I haven’t heard this advice anywhere else but it makes SO much sense. Tackle all the little things you’re procrastinating about first and then tackle that one big problem with an uncluttered mind.
What a damn video. I think you just fixed my 9 month depression. I can't thank you enough man, you are so kind, you are incredible
Hey Tony! Got on update on this?
@@PeasantUnit Well, I'm completely out of depression. Reversed it even, I'm more social than the average guy, I study, I do things I love, everything's good. But looking at it it was not just this video, there were a lot of limiting beliefs and shit I had to figure to get mentally better. Usually there's no one reason for depression. The key is consistency. Never stop trying to figure stuff out. You get disappointed? Natural, just take it easier today but still, still try to figure one thing for today. Discarding bad habits one by one, false beliefs, little by little and boom after a while there's nothing left, nothing holding you back. Life's good. Don't think everyday struggles dissappear, but the base level of your happiness is elevated and just can't drop. You've fixed everything it took to drop ot lower. Even if shit happens you know shit will get better because you can make it be so. You know you can. Are in such a situation as I was?
I really like the VOD-content. Looking forward to more of it!
Your advice is the best I have heard. If everyone heard this it would actually seriously solve most of the mental illnesses in this world
"Go and fix things from the past go and apologize to the people that you need to"
*
I Know What I Have to Do But I Don't Know if I Have the Strength to Do It*
I think this is great advice and it makes a lot of sense to me, I just have no idea who I need to make amends with
Dr K, you continue to provide excellent and clear insights into things I struggle with on a regular basis. Can't thank you enough.
Fantastic video, I feel as if I have known this subconsciously but to put into words is very helpful. Thanks Dr. K
sounds cool but now the biggest problem is: how do I find all these things that I need to settle?
You think about it
You figure out what distracts you and blocks you from doing what you want. You can try tracing back or watch what excuses you make. Whether it's a person, place or state of being, try to settle it one by one and eventually you'll find it easier to do what you wanted to do in the first place.
whether you want to admit it or not those things are there. They may not come up while you're actively trying to do something. But they are the things that always come to you when you have any amount of time to think, they are the things you try to push away from your mind. The things that you are afraid to admit. You must meditate and force yourself see what they are. In my culture this has a whole personification, we call it Tezcatlipoca.
i’m too exhausted mentally to try i’m not too sure how i’m supposed to solve that lol
i think depression has fried my brain
Here's what I did. After work , I usually play something. After watching this, after work I sat down, away from my PC with a pen and paper. I then proceeded to write down every single thing that was on my mind as a task. "read book X, read book Y, do course X, do course Y, gym, play game X, play game Y, catch with X, catch up with Y, help person X.
This process took me nearly an hour.
Then, I had a long hard look through and I crossed out everything which I should let go. Maybe I don't have to continue reading this book until I finish the other 2 I've also started. Maybe I don't need to play this game. Maybe I should not cook, read, watch YT and work at the same time. So I crossed some things and put them away. I put a few books away, I uninstalled some games, I archived some programming side projects for later.
Finally, I ranked the remaining tasks in priority. I was left with around 40% of the original stuff I had. And it's important to say again, I took action to REMOVE those things from my area. I put the books in the bookshelf as opposed to my bedside table. I UNINSTALLED the games. It's a lot more luberating than just saying "ok I won't read this one" but then keeping it on your table so you look at it every day
He made the bookshelf! PogU krutti must be happy
Edit: Also, love these type of videos, I know this is a trial video but I hope you do more of these :)
Yes, please.
Me too, feels like a direct response to my survey answer as this is the exact kinda stuff I asked for!
@@HolyCodzta same. I asked for this exact kind of stuff in my surveys as well, so I feel like a lot of the community must've been asking for this. I'm glad they are listening
Thank you very much for this video. I have struggled with ADD, motivation and more for a loong time. Stuck if you will...
This video really breaks it down in a psychological and spiritual way that my soul resonates with.
A whack in the mental granite and cracks appear 👍🏼
This is amazing! I love these kinds of videos so well put
damn this hits hard. I felt like you were reading my mind. but I'm kinda lost. I dont know if I can forgive my parents and move on. I dont know if I want to. How can I when they've took so much.
I would also like the reply to this one. It’s a good question...
I’m not Dr. K, but that very statement “I don’t know if I want to” is 100% a karmic tie you have that is very central on your mind. It is the tie that’s causing you to be hesitant in approaching your parents-for years you have probably been entertaining this idea on a daily basis-the idea that, maybe, you just never forgive your parents and continue on in life alone or largely without their presence. Your mind doesn’t want to handle navigating the issue so it says “fine we’ll worry about something else” and tightens the bind it has on desired outcomes/thoughts. You consciously want to forgive them, I can tell, but the more you settle on this easy way out option (never forgiving them because too much has happened) in your daily thoughts, you’re reinforcing the karmic binds it has wrapped around your actual source of motivation. You’ve given it so much daily thought that you’ve gotten close to a decision, you’re leaning towards you can’t forgive them.
At the end of the day, the only thing that solves it is willpower. Devote small small amounts of positive thought to the situation briefly throughout your day even if it feels fake as hell-the blinds will start to be pulled back, or they will stay closed and soon the window will be totally boarded up. We both know you don’t prefer to close the blinds on your parents, so right now hopefully this is clarity. So start with a good thought, think about ANYTHING remotely involving your parents that is good tomorrow when you wake up. Start there, give it 3 strong days of commitment, and you will slowly reconnect with the mind you once knew, the one without binds and baggage dictating your thoughts. Don’t start slow, in fact, start thinking of your parents right now, CARRY it into tomorrow, and keep that gas pedal pressed down HARD anytime you feel a little sense of motivation, but do not dwell on the times where you aren’t motivated. grab that shit by the horns and get bucked off a few times, Sending love from Texas. Godspeed my friend.
@@ab263 I don’t know if this’ll work for other people or not but I know it won’t for me :/
AB, how are you so certain that making yourself forgive your parents will free up your karmic ties?? And, I mean, we don’t even know the context of what happened with OP and their parents, and the effects that had on OP. You know what I mean?
I’m not a therapist but I think you can forgive them not in the sense that it makes what they did okay, but let go of it as something in the past that you can process & move on from. I think writing a letter to them from the perspective of a younger you could help you understand the holistic situation and how they made you feel. The most important thing is learning to be there for yourself and accept yourself, and I hope their past actions wouldn’t continue to chain your future. Hopefully you can find more resources that will help guide you. Good luck!
@@claydestripes1503 you’re 100% right, I don’t know the situation. But I believe more than anything that unless there is a very very dark and buried secret, or an extremely serious event that caused the issues with parents, nothing is unmendable. I’m not trying to minimize his struggle-I was in a similar place-but with my meth addicted sister and abusive mother, who was nearly dead from alcoholism when I reconvened with her. She’s in a hospice now and my sister is back on drugs somewhere in Tyler, TX, but she is lucid and calls semi monthly. We as a family spent the past 3 years picking up the pieces and it saved my life. there was a point in my hatred, after seeing years and years of commercials and images of families and mother/son relationships day in and out all around me-I slowly started to consider some of the half decent memories of her, or just her smiling. These thoughts made me mad, numb, then eventually break down into tears almost on command when I thought of them or even just saw a doppelgänger. I slowly got to where I missed having a mom again. I remember this feeling like it was 3 minutes ago. It was a major karmic bind for me and it still very much is. I have resolved 20% or less of my issues with them; but it worked for me and I like to think it could be a good place to start for most people. It sparked events that made me feel more than I ever have. Made me want to live life again.
The span of 3 months without hating my sister and mom changed me, it is when I was able to humanize my them for the first time in my adult life. You don’t realize how jaded and borderline evil it makes you act when you harbor this stuff inside. Whatever your situation with family may be... Just think about them. That’s all I’m trying to say. Start there, focus on 3 seconds of good thoughts at a time. Keep them in your mind. If you don’t want to think about them, you already are. I promise it all comes down to silence and the human spirit.
I also wanted to say I’m sorry about your situation with your family, praying for you
dr k tells us to complete our tasks
Great video! I'm setting up new goals for myself, but thanks to
you're channel i'm really trying to take it step by step. One of
the things i remember most from you're video's is: ''we are
not just our brains.'' This made me realise that my own toughts
are not my entire being. This helps me a lot with my anxiety, and
made my life a bit better. now i'm trying to smoke less Canabis
because i don't want to be as unproductive as in the past.
So thanks a lot for doing this on CZcams!
These short form videos are absolutely amazing. I know you talked about motivation in another twitch vod. If i ever wanted to refresh it would take so long to find it. Really nice to build a catalog of vital i formation
so basically i gotta go into my folders and finish all my unfinished drawings if i wanna stay motivated to draw
Been suffering from Depersonalization for 12 years. Feel like i can't really work on myself because i have not been myself for 12 years. Been working on my physical health a ton but it's hard to try to fix yourself when you do not exist.
I'm so sorry. I had that.
but I have something different now .
pray to Jesus. ask for him to take it away.
I've been hoping you'd make more topical content! I think this is great, but the lectures you gave that we're live and recorded are, IMO, much more engaging. Excited about the continued evolution of HG!
this video helped me so much man 😄 I realized what keeps me from doing things and I started adressing old stuff just the next day. i'm motived since and am really doing stuff now, thank you!
FeelsStrongMan
FeelsStrongMan x2
2:47 I have the habit of whenever I listen to Dr. K I try to put everything into gaming analogy.. So I guess here the quest log is full.
I really needed to hear this, thanks Dr. K.
I really enjoyed this format for its concision and clarity.