this story always makes my blood boil whenever i hear it. the mother was so selfish and the fact that she never got any legal consequences is just wow.
Yeah she would have been convicted in another country, as it was intentional not an accident after all the discussions about coconutoil they had and all the hospital visits. She had also done the girl's hair any number of times before.
My granny did something similar. Thankfully I was 17 and could tell what was happening. I got a bad shellfish allergy, throat close/ throwing up/shaking violently. In fact, I have to wear a medical bracelet. Went to meet up with her at Olive Garden (who are always great with my allergy) and I always get the same thing and she told me she already ordered it. I asked if she told them about my allergy and she said she did and they’ll change gloves and utensils etc. I take one bite of my food and swallowed and it was like within the minute my throat closed like a porthole and my stomach did a full Olympic gymnast routine. Grabbed my bag and ran to the bathroom, I knocked into a table on my way and heard my granny say “oh she’s just being dramatic” and I was PISSED. But had other things to worry about. Went into a stall and jabbed myself and once my throat opened, I just emptied my stomach and just kept going. I called my mom in the stall and in between puking my guts up, I told her I was having a reaction. And she apparently called my granny (her mom) to take my to the hospital but my granny TRIED TO DISMISS IT. She told my mom I was being over dramatic and doing that for attention. Idk if it was the restaurant or my mom that called an ambulance but next thing I know I got this big paramedic dude putting me on a gurney and said my heart rate was at 178. Oh, btw, the hospital was a 2 minute drive straight. Long story short: my granny didn’t tell them about my allergy so she could call me out for “faking” my allergies. I ended up in the hospital for 3 days just evacuating my stomach contents. We got settled with a $2k ambulance bill after insurance, and I obviously don’t talk to her any more. Also every year for my birthday, she sends me a gift card for a seafood restaurant 🙄.
Wow and I thought my step mom was nasty testing me on my allergies! Your grandma's weird stay away from her. Just skip it. Gift somebody you like a lot with your gift cards. It saves you money during the holidays. lol Take the money you would have spent on someone else and use that money as the gift. I mean I am sure there's someone in your life that you usually spend money on that they would love to be able to go out and get a free meal.
@@valiantsfelinesmccarty6678 I feel like it’s important to mention that my shellfish allergy didn’t develop until 16. Apparently it’s pretty common for ppl who get shellfish allergies to develop them later. My granny had been telling my family that I was making it up for attention. My granny has some major mental issues that she refuses to address and that resulted in 3/5 going minimal contact and most of us grandkids having horror stories of her.
Waw. So she tried to find evidence that you were faking, instead she got evidence that you were not, and still she clings to her conviction. Was she a total bitch on other topics as well, or does she have a specific seafood obsession ?
That mother is a monster. No excuse can explain her stupidity. She deserves to be charged with murder because it's what she did. She is responsible. The death of the child is horrible too. The gall of the mother to call and ask for forgiveness. Even if she begs on her knees until death takes her, she is delusional to think she would ever have forgiveness. OP must have so strong to have been able to go on and not be devoured by grief and naher toward her mother.
I agree with the sentiment, but I also wonder where OP is from. In some cultures, especially with women, there is a generational gap in education. The young women have access to schooling, even to the Ph.D. level, but their mothers were expected to be housewives and have virtually no education, and seem to operate on a mix of folk-wisdom, spiritual faith and superstition in leu of rational thinking. They just never learned how to think. It's not that they're stupid, it's that the little education they received was entirely wrong. Think of all the idiot high school drop-out moms on Facebook selling essential oils as Covid cures a few years ago. Take that insanity and extend it to every facet of life. In many cultures, women of that generation are good at cooking and cleaning house, but are less than useless in every other regard. With the Internet and Globalization that cycle is finally starting to break with the younger generations who have far more opportunities. That doesn't excuse what happened, but if it's applicable here (and it sounds like it might be), it would explain how a grown adult didn't understand such a basic concept. If that is the case, then society is at least partially culpable in tolerating such ignorance. If that's true, then perhaps the OP can find some comfort in her career as an educator. She can't undo what her mother did, but maybe by educating others she can prevent similar mistakes destroying other families. Everyone blames OP's mother, she even blames herself. There's hardly any sense in allocating blame at this point, it's already been dished out correctly. What remains to do is ensure this never happens again. Blaming people changes nothing, but educating them changes everything.
@@Arkryal That is a good Point, however it does not apply to this "Person" because she knew what kind of process the family did to know what caused the rash and to never ever put cocunut near the daughter she knew it but did it anyway because it's the "better hair product"...... My Grandma never knew of electric stuff (TV, PC, Phones, etc....) because she didn't grew up with it but her aunt's family started to have electronics in the house and she needed to watch her cousins during that time, grandma was way older(around 20) then them. During this time she did what she always did, she cleaned the house a bit while the kids were sleeping... she almost electrocuted herself because she used to much water to clean the TV while the TV was on... that is not only the gap in education but also in the living situation that she had...
@@Arkryal There's a huge difference between lack of education and willful ignorance. The mother KNEW what they had been through to identify the allergy, She KNEW and was told that she shouldn't bring coconut products near the child. She KNEW and expected the child to break out in hives, which is uncomfortable and an abuse towards the child. She claimed that she "wasn't thinking", but actually wanted to prove to OP that she "knows better" and thumb her nose at OP by using a product she knew OP hates on her children. Anyone taking care of someone else's children knows to respect the parents' decisions for those children, allergies or not. She decided to go against the parents' wishes for no good reason. She probably didn't know that the child would die from her stupid stubbornness of not using any other oil, but that's neither here nor there. She was aiming to be a torturer, but ended up as a murderer instead.
@@Arkryal I think the title is wrong too, she didn't not believe in the allergy, she just did what she had always done, we live so much of our lives on auto pilot it didn't even occur to her. It's all just very sad really for the mother and OP.
What he actually said is "There are two things in the world that have no actual borders. One is the universe and the other is human stupidity. And I am uncertain about the universe." It's more or less the same thing though
These stories always hit home, I had really bad asthma as a kid but my parents “didn’t believe” in inhalers. They tried homeopathy,acupuncture, & a lot of other things. I was so sick & nearly died on my 10th birthday-my incredible stepmum overruled my parents & got me to hospital on a nebuliser & got me inhalers- I couldn’t believe how much better I felt & how quick they worked. I’ve never fully forgiven mum & dad & I have the best step parent ever.
Glad your step mom was there for you!! Not all step parents are bad. There are so many who love and care for the little ones they may not have helped create and yet they love them just the same as if they had.
@@JustMe-oo3wmI think it's just psychological denial. It's an unfortunately common reaction I think to having a child with a disability or health impairment but ultimately inexcusable. They think of these misfortunes as something that happens to "other people", not to the child they made with their perfect genes!
Parents who don´t "believe" in medicine because they are in some cult and into all this homeopathy accupuncture and pillule and whatnot alternative esoteric healing sh.. must have their kids taken away by law. The risk is too high they would rather let their kids die and call it "a lack of belief" or "fate - their determined time has simply come" instead of calling an ambulance.
I’m sorry but the audacity to take your daughter’s child, AND JUST MURDER HER ? Absolutely disgusting. No mother would do that. But “not thinking” part just makes no sense, she damn well knew that the child was fatally allergic to coconut. And she still did it. Horrible.
That's how people who don't get allergies work. I'm allergic to onions I get hives, swelling, vomiting, diarrhea, mild breathing problems, painful stomach cramps, and headaches if it ends up in my food. That said I've had so many family members deliberately add onions to my food cause it won't kill you....... Yeah I'm not fatality allergic but it still causes pain and other things. Onion powder I can do but straight up raw onion can make me violently ill and yet people still test to see if I have an reaction..... It sucks. Worse still if its a rare allergy people are even more inclined to test. My mom only found out mine cause as a child anytime onions even touched my food id vomit and break out into itchy bumps making going out to eat a living hell cause how much onions are in everyday cooking
Yeah she saw the reaction start herself & gave the toddler Benadryl. How can she claim that? Even if she really forgot, the reaction should've reminded her & she should've gone & washed both girls' hair out really well & anything they might've touched & called her daughter immediately to come get at least that twin despite it being late, so that the sick twin could be monitored & taken to the ER if the benadryl didn't stop the reaction.
I'm allergic to bee's, honey, bee's wax, basically anything made by bees. I tell everyone that i have ever lived with to make sure that they don't give me food that has honey in or on it. I was living with my mother for a short period of time when i was in my 20's, her boyfriend at the time was a pretty good cook and would make some really good food. One day they came into the room i was staying in and my mother said this is so good you should try this ham that her BF just made. I asked her does it have honey in it? she looked to her boyfriend that was standing outside the door he mumbled saying that he always used honey on his ham and that it was normal. I got angry because i had specifically told him several times that i couldn't have honey. I immediately got angry and asked my mother did you know there was honey in it? This man went on a tirade for over an hour about how allergies aren't real. I looked him dead in the face and told him i would never eat any of his food again because i was afraid he was going to kill me by giving me honey when he was told several time i can't have it. Side note, if i have something with honey in it and i notice the stinging in my mouth i can spit it out and wash my mouth out and usually be fine, but if i swallow it before realizing i get deathly ill and start projectile vomiting all over the place, and i am usually bed ridden for a few days. if its one bite I can usually manage it. so its not like if i tried a bite i would have died but i don't know anyone that wants to projectile vomit just to try a piece of food, but if they would have served it to me and the taste of the honey was masked and i ate a whole slice of ham i most definitely would have ended up in the hospital at minimum.
I'm the same but add mushrooms and coconut to the mix with the occasional one of if I walk near grass and on it I get blisters cuz off the pollen and such so even in the summer I have to wear long sleeves and cover up well ... everyone in my family knows and I always ask but in occasions some family members either "forget or feel judged " if I refuse to eat food with honey or mushrooms and I'm just like ok you want a cadaver to say it's so good is drop dead delicious got it ... welp my ma is a non believer of allergies even tho she's allergic to seafood and I do cook a lot of seafood and I do clean it out 3 times just to be safe but she on the other hand shoves candy or pushes me to try foods even if they have my allergens in it my dogs go into the yard and roll in the grass and I shower them every day to take their allergens off last week she noticed my allergens were real as I didn't know she took my dogs outside and I had my face swell with blisters and could barely breathe without coughing or sneezing and if I sneeze alot I start to hiccup too so I was a hisnecup mess to say the least with a 102 fever for 2 days and my face stayed swollen for a while the blisters are gone now but the whole neck area is still itchy she still says I was being dramatic the worst 2 where when I was 9 and when I was 14 where in school I didn't get told they added homey and mushrooms to my food and when I went back home I had regurgitated the food up and the one where I was 9 I passed out in the hallway and the nanny saw me and helped me out to not stop breathing(asficiate ?) the one when I was 14 I passed out after hearing my dog pawll the door open and barking at my ma to go check up on me with my oldest niece waddling behind her... for her we was in the fast food restaurant we bought some pop chicken but they mixed ours with the other person who got popshrimp and she had hives rashes swollen face and turned almost purple and we don't have any epens so i took the bite she was still kinda chewing on out of her mouth and tried to help her out washing her mouth out and it did but it couldve turned bad if someone with their pen didn't injest some into her which now that i think about it could've gone way worse cuz of dosage measures and such while we was waiting on dear ol sis .. i have a scar in my arm that I play with at times from a bee sting when we had arrived at the place where my mas allergies occurred but mines was on a different day and to top it off i was listening to a song i loved at the time called poison and the lyrics as i felta sharppen like stab on my arm was "my love is like a poison running through your veins" somethingsomething "my love may killyouif you don'tfeel the same " somethings somethings"cuz im poison"and then a high pitch poison scream i haven'tgone to that fast food restaurant nor listened to that song since that day and I still remember the burn as my whole hand swoll up and it was on exam week 2 so writing was a pain and people as well as classmates would ask why I had a hand bigger(as in f at tie er) than the other one and I would be like have you seen the new startwars with the bee clones no welli was a part in that or now I'm Pikachu (in Spanish pica is itchor sting depending on the sentence) and instead of saying pika pika i would say pica pica la abeja me picola abejame pico(or as it would translate to sting sting the bee sting me the bee sting me) and that was a joke for a whilewith my friendgroup...but anyways idk why people think allergens aren't real ... sorry that happened to you and hope your mas bf knows and learns better cuz it ain't a fun life that you have to prevent yourself from death to even enjoy a tiny piece of a meal he doesn't know of it he should do his research he doesn't believe ok just don't let him push you on what he believes does he have a medical allergens diagnosis license or agency then until he does and even if he does and if he's a chef or not he ain't entitled to touch your food you already fear your food enough to not have it be covered or cooked with your allergens to also have the worry of someone trying to harm you with food
I'm adding a lot of honey when I'm making ham and you can't taste it or you can barely taste it if you have really strong taste buds. I love honey and ham is more soft that way, but if someone in my family had allergy to it I would forgot that honey even exist for the time when that family member living with me. I hope your mom broke up with him?
Honestly it feels like some people won’t believe in allergens until you force them to watch you die from it, listen to the cops, the coroner, the hospital, get thrown papers and evidence of how allergic reactions work, witness and autopsy of the body even, and even then they might believe it. One of my friend from college is one out of three fraternal triplets, and she can’t even use a specific washer in the communal laundry room in their dorm bc someone used a detergent that would give her a nasty rash and possibly blisters if she didn’t notice it well enough. I feel like it’s just some people being lazy or thinking some people feel entitled to stuff, but it just makes no sense why you can’t assume the best in people in cases like these, or even try to be considerate.
Op talked to her mom on the phone 20min after she had noticed the kid was starting to have an allergic reaction & gave her benadryl. The only reason I can think of for her to not mention that at that time is that she wanted to show Op that the allergy wasn't that serious. The exposure to coconut was intentional, the result was not.
That's even worse. She lied to her daughter just prove her wrong. She knew what she was doing to her granddaughter and wanted OP to come home and say "I told you it's no big deal".
The OP is very obviously Indian. South Indian if I'm not wrong. And Indian parents are notorious for wanting to parent their grandchildren as They see fit, not the parent of the child (who is their own child). And Indian parents have a very long history of disregarding serious illnesses like mental health issues or allergies that 'they don't believe in' (it all basically screams of deep mistrust in themselves as they clearly don't think they raised their child well-enough to make their own rules for their own kids i.e. their grandkids - so they try to parent their grandkids too and might just end up killing them, or at the very least traumatizing them for life for their efforts). The grandmother was literally part of the elimination process to figure out said allergy - so she knew full well the extent that OP had gone to to get that diagnosis and it baffles me how she still wanted to experiment like that. Atleast OP here and most of their family and friends have gone NC with the mother. Indian families expect you to forgive such murders/trauma cause 'they are family after all'
Seriously what the hell was wrong with her mother to "accidently" do that she had to have done that on purpose to try to "prove" her wrong like wtf ....
Too many idiots try to prove that they 'know' better. Like the story about a mom who forced their child to eat fish. That mom got lucky. The kid threw up right at his mom's feet. Was never asked again to eat fish.
If putting coconut oil in the hair is a cultural thing, it is something she did for 40+ years. She did not take the decision to put coconut oil in the hair of the girl, she did it by automatism.
@@ghyslainabelshe knew theres a heavely allergic child in the house. She went thru all that hospital stuff with the mother. Cultural or not at that point it would HAVE TO be imprinted in her brain that in THIS HOUSE coconut oil is an absolute no-no. She ignored it. Most likely she thought it will be ok becouse "its just hair, Im not going to feed her with it". She thought that worst case scenario kid gonna have a rush... But this time girl died.
Yeah its not the mystake its the drugging and ignoreing of the in pain unwell child that led to the childs death thats sus. As who has a child rashing up vomiting etc and just sends them to bed with sleep aids.
@@ghyslainabelor she think her daughter was being too crazy against coconut oil. It’s her chance to prove nothing bad ever happen to “our people” with traditional products.
Noticed that too? Sad story and sad that everyone seems to have a problem with total accuracy. Suprised this didn't happen before they found out what was causing the babies allergies.
I don't believe OP'S mother for one minute. She knew better than to expose her grandchild to the allergen, but SHE knew best. Now her grandchild is dead, by her hand. I think OP'S response to her mother regarding forgiveness is right on target. She may forgive her mother someday, but they won't have a relationship.
I think she is from india specially a South India part because they use coconut oil in everything. Also i think it wasn't a mistake but a deliberate ignorance. As much as i can feel the love from them i also find there ignorance pathetic. There are things i hate about my mother yet she keep doing it like she is doing it to deliberately making a point.
That woman is a monster. She deserves to rot in prison and then in hell. That sweet little girl died in a horrifying way and very slowly. That's so so so heart breaking. The mother of that girl is so strong not to rip that monster apart for harming her baby. Ugh, I can't even. I am in tears just listening to this. My heart breaks for that mother and her family because there is a huge hole in all their hearts for their loved one who passed. So tragic.
I wouldn't have been so merciful. She has a lot more patience than I do and I respect her for that. And you are right, she is very strong. I hope she's doing ok now a days. That's a horrible thing for a parent to go through. I'm just gonna go hug my twin sister now 😭.
I feel so bad for OP and her husband, it was really selfish to use a product that contained an allergen then not immediately trying to wash it out. That poor little girl.
Learning that your child died a slow painful death b/c of your own mothers doing is the worst news any parent could get. My heart goes out to OP & I really do hope her, along with her family, is able to heal from that traumatic experience.
I've read too many articles of people who either don't listen or believe in allergies and tragedies result. The one that always sticks in my craw is the boy who was allergic to peanuts and was mowing a neighbor lady's lawn and she wanted to give him cookies that she made. When he asked if they had peanuts in them, she said that if he didn't eat the cookies, he'd be insulting her. Being a child who seeks adult approval, he ate them and died. When interviewed by the police, she had stated that she knew of his allergy but wanted to prove him wrong because she didn’t believe in allergies. She felt that they were a "fad" because they didn't exist when she was a girl. This was in the late 80's or early 90's and nothing happened to the woman. However, the boy's parents were indicted for not supervising their son whilst mowing a lawn.
As someone who is also allergic to coconut, this hit me particularly hard. It was so difficult to figure out what I was reacting to, and its in so many things that you wouldn't expect it to be in, but at least my parents take it seriously.
I know a woman who lost her job in healthcare tangentially because of allergies. She worked as a caregiver in a senior home and there was this sweet little old lady who every day would get up, get dressed to the nines and wait by the lobby for her family to come visit. But they never did. It infuriated the caregiver. So one day she had enough, snooped around the records office (BIG no-no to begin with) and called the family. Turned out Gramma didn’t believe grandbaby had a nut allergy... then didn't seek help afterwards when the anaphylaxis kicked in. Family didn’t press charges, but instead put Gramma in a nursing home and left her there. Caregiver lost her job as soon as management found out.
With multiples, if one dies tend to feel incomplete. Since they shared a womb together for those months inside it. And I don't think that the grandmother really feels remorse over her actions. Otherwise she would have admitted to their form of cps of what she did. Also, this is one good reason WHY to take allergies seriously. They CAN kill. Plus, a allergy one time might be mild. The next time may not be so lucky and be life threatening.
Exactly. If I ever did this (which I would never.) I would immediately turn myself in, because how could you just kill your grandchild and not feel guilty enough to pay the price? She is so disgusting.
@@annmariestinson1232No, she THOUGHT she could prove a point and be right. She lied to OP about her babies condition, she noticed the rash but couldn't care less to take it seriously, and she didn't tell her husband about putting coconut in their grandkids hair. Why? Because she knew about the allergy and the consequences, but she would rather poison her grandchild just so she can be right. She thought she could get away with it and be proud of HER knowing better. She's only sorry now because she did lose everything, and it's all her fault.
(her calling herself just a baby and made me think she probably doesn't remember) But if she did she would remember being in the car with her dead sister, because they took both of them to the hospital while the one was dead
She feels lost and incomplete because she is. Her twin was like the other half of herself. The other part of her soul. Some people will never understand the twin bond
She would have claimed it was an accident, that she didn't realise the allergy was so severe or she forgot. Add that in to her elderly age and some fake remorse, the courts could have dismissed it. But it's good to know that even if the courts didn't find her guilty, almost her entire family *did* and she lost everyone, like she deserved.
OP has to bring about the charges. People don't just appear in prison cells or a courtroom. You have to report it. The hospital can't because to them, it was an allergic reaction. OP knows it wasn't and can prove that her mother knew she was allergic. This would be a very easy case to win
I'm probably never gonna be a mother. But there are NO words. Unbelievable especially since OPs mother KNEW damn well about the allergy. Not only did OPs daughter die but slowly and painfully. Makes my blood boil
The ground is definitely preferable. If I had kids, and some idiot knows what my kids and I went through, then proceeded to ignore it and cause the death of my child... She'd be in the ground or I'd be in jail. Depends on if anyone stopped me.
My heart is bleeding. I am indescribably sorry for your loss. I cannot understand how some of the elders in Asia HAVE TO FORCE their ways onto their children. Respect goes both ways. 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
This made me cry, I was in the same situation older brother, older sister, I was the only one with allergies (peanuts). In 2012 my older sister died from a seizure and suffocated under a trash bin from falling off her bed. My older brother is very protective of me now, as the same I am with him even though he’s 22 and I’m 14 we still talk everyday and hang out with each other.
My sister is allergic to eggs. When she was four years old my grandmother gave us homemade icecream made with eggs. She told my mother there was no egg in the ice cream because my gran wanted to prove that my sister was just a picky eater!. My sister ate the ice cream and then, almost immediately, vomited all over the porch! People who don't believe in allergies make me sick. It's not the business to try and prove that a person does not have an allergy.
This is why I hate when parents have that 'I know better' attitude not only with their children, but with doctors and other professionals. Because OP's mother refused to understand the nature of her granddaughter's allergy, she ended up killing her. She should be in jail.
She knew, she just didn't take it seriously and wanted to prove that it was no big deal. This is story is so sad and disturbing. It's the lack of maturity displayed by the mother, and how many of these people are out here in the world with us? They just have to have everything their way. People that refuse to be told no are dangerous.
Some old folks doesn't believe in 'allergies'. They think that exposure will get a person's body adapt to it eventually. This story is so heartbreaking, hoping for peace of mind for the whole family.
allergies seemed to not really be around back then. No one understands that because of the changing world and how many chemicals humans are exposed to on a daily basis, it is literally changing our dna. they're so stupid so so freaking ignorant andstupid
It makes me so sad to hear it was a painful death for such a young baby ;-; allergies are a serious issue and still, nowadays I hear/read people say they are exaggerating over asking for traces of allergens on food. 11:36 I would say exactly the same to her, something along the lines of "You do not deserve to come back because the daughter YOU MURDERED won't come back." She got it cheap since she deserves to be in jail. RIP little girl :(
The last part broke my heart 😢 "I know I was only a baby but I feel so incomplete, like a part of me is missing." I hope that family finds peace, especially mom and grandma.
@@sadiewashington2855 Grandma made a terrible mistake and she's paying dearly for it. What she did shouldn't be forgotten, but enough time has passed that she should begin the healing process. If she is truly remorseful, she holds that right.
@@serein_sun Grandma may forgive herself if she can, but her daughter has no obligation to forgive her. and if the daughter's forgiveness is required for grandma to find peace, I honestly do not believe she will ever do so.
@@serein_sunLeaving your daughter battling for her children on her own instead of taking accountability and admitting to cps, or whichever law enforcement, that she was the murderer, thus helping her daughter's case, is solid evidence she wasn't, in fact, remorseful back then, in spite of pretending to be. What right does she hold to be trusted now, after effectively lying twice?
@@serein_sunGiving your grandchild some coconut oil, not taking said grandchild to a hospital when you noticed rashes forming, and giving some pill to make them sleep is not a mistake. She didn't tell OP about this. She didn't inform OP about her babies condition. She didn't even tell her husband, who was there with her, about using coconut oil in their grandkids hair. She made a choice. She knew about the allergy. She knew what she was doing.
I have a seizure disorder and could have easily had an accident if any of my relative decided not to give me my medicine because they don't believe in medication. What a selfish grandmother.
To sum up the story. OP's family uses coconut due to Traditional Values and the daughter was severely allergic to coconut. OP's mother had put coconut oil in the girl's hair and the grandmother had gave her Benadryl because she was feeling sleepy and wanted to put her to bed. She had passed slowly and painfully in her sleep. R.I.P to OP's daughter
I work at a retirement home and we have a few people who have severe allergies to certain foods. We have a whole procedure in place for them so they can have a hot meal without any fears of getting sick. I even take the extra step of cleaning their places first after meals to eliminate risk of cross contamination on days when we do serve said allergens. One afternoon, I came in and noticed the cook chucking out cut up strawberries from a prepared fruit salad. I didn’t think much of it until he said it was safe to serve. One of our residents is allergic to strawberries. I knew not to serve it to him and made sure the other servers knew. I also took the extra step of reporting the cook to our boss. I’ve had residents thank me for taking their allergies seriously and for taking steps to ensure they had a safe hot meal. Stories like this anger me. Like…how could you not take it seriously when you know just how severe it is? OP’s mother should’ve gotten thrown in prison for it. But I’m going to have to settle for ostracization from everyone. Hopefully she’ll get justice in the next life. OP, I know you’re not likely to see this but I want you to know that I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a child is horrible. Nobody deserves to go through that.
Story 1 Your mother murdered your child and should have gone to jail. She knew and did it anyway. I would never speak to hercagai . I don't understand why there were no charges.
@@caffeinedelusionsWay to blame OP. Grandmother was told, and SHE didn't listen. Grandfather knew and respected it. Hell, when he realized what his wife did, he checked the other baby in case it was happening to his other grandchild. OPs mom was a liar, she wanted to prove a point and it costed her everything.
I have a number of allergies, developed mid life one is anaphylactic, a couple others could get there if repeatedly exposed. I have had people "test" me on allergy to everything bovine (beef, cow). They didn't believe me. It really pisses me off when someone thinks they can do that against my choice, how dare they! OP is right to be angry, her mother totally violated her her and her family. Some things cannot be forgiven and some people can never be trusted again. Some allergies can start out as intolerance allergies and then develop into full blown acute onset anaphylactic . It is not commonly known that it is possible to have a delayed anaphylactic reaction up to 4 days after exposure. The onset can be faster for subsequent exposures. I've ended up in the ER three times now. One time I woke up in the middle of the night feeling really anxious, got up and noticed the welts form on my skin, I knew what it was and got myself up to the ER. Being aware of delayed reactions is important also. I used to work in the dental field and had to watch out for my premeditated patients. I wish this was known back then, as people need to know this. I hope this little known knowledge helps somebody else.
My daughter is anaphylactic to peanuts and soy and other foods make her very ill. But it's she has had reactions return after using her Epi-Pen. So, it's important to get medical attention as the Epi-Pen or even just Benadryl may only buy you time.
I can commiserate with you. I lost my daughters in a drunk driving accident when they were visiting family in Australia. The twins were 17 and their sister was 16. I was not able to see them. I had seen them off, happy, and healthy. I received three boxes of cremated remains just after Christmas. That was 27 years ago. I can tell you that it's easier eventually but never leaves.
This infuriates meme! This is why I sent my kiddos lunches until I got a nasty gram from them about “not sending all the food groups the way they thought I should”. My kiddo has gasteroparesis/allergies to soy and wheat (actual allergies) as well as inability to process proteins in dairy. So they forced me to give school lunches. I brought a note from the physician stating the dietary restrictions and the notation that these things can place my kiddo in picu. Needed to say they decided they knew better than even the ped/dietician as well as the gastroenterologist. They forced my child to eat all the foods they placed placed on the tray and stood over watching my kid to ensure it was eaten. Three days of this landed my kiddo in emergency then in picu for over a week. All the paperwork (strongly worded from all physicians/specialists and pediatrician, were sent over to the school basically tearing the entire school and school district a new one! It was terrifying and my little one suffered for weeks due to their inability to understand the difference between sensitivities and allergies. They didn’t even understand what inability to process proteins was or why it was completely different than allergy or sensitivity or intolerance. They learned real quick! I was furious and also tore them a new one. Especially when they attempted to give my kid lower grades for “nursing school” even though they knew full well my kiddo was in picu, fighting for their life and in excruciating pain. They said “well your kids fingers aren’t broken just have them do online work”. 😡 SCREW U BECAUSE THIS POOR KID IS BARELY COHERENT! Was barely conscious for about the first four-6 days with very little times when even opening their eyes. I never played the game with them after that concerning my kids health. Why people can’t listen when you say this kid has allergies and can’t have these foods! Is beyond me. I feel such knowing this woman’s need to be right and decide she knew better took the life of an incident child here in this experience. I’m sick to my stomach listening to this. I cannot imagine the pain this mother Anna father and their kids are going through.
oh i saw this story before... how the hell do you ignore the parents telling you "dont do this or she will die" and think youre a good person, allergies range from, an annoyance to deadly and shouldnt be taken lightly, ive seen what a mild allergy can do to you let alone a serious one
I just want to say that ‘not thinking’ doesn’t excuse her for not at least checking the kid repeatedly over the night. If you give a kid allergy meds for an allergic reaction, you should still be keeping an eye on them. But I can understand not having thought about it in the moment. The grandma used coconut oil religiously, a lapse in thinking could easily have occurred where she just used the oil out of habit and didn’t think about what she had done. But it’s the fact she gave the kid benedryl and never checked up on her that is unforgivable to me.
Allergies are no jokes. Once, when I was a teen, one of my cousin spent a month-long vacation at my parents' place with our grandmother and (imposing us at the last minute) her boyfriend. The very night my mother had prepared my grandmother's (her own mother) favorite meal, a ratatouille. Just before the boyfriend's first bite, my parents and I see him looking uneasy until he pretty much pass out. A that moment my cousin ask my mother if there was garlic in it (of bloody course there was, it was a ratatouille). Turns out that she forgot to tell us that the guy was allergic to garlic when she brought him in a region where garlic is pretty much everywhere in food. (Not helped by the fact that my mother's cooking could be called garlic-enriched) The mere emanations coming out of the food nearly clogged his respiratory tracts. The guy was pale as a corpse when he fell down his chair, sweating as if he crossed a desert during a heatwave.
The amount of times I’ve been p!ssed off in my life because someone thought it was a good idea to ignore gluten free requests because they thought it was a fad or thinking you only get a little upset tummy, they’re just being too demanding (cross contamination requests). To clarify this is angry on the behalf of my mum who is coeliac, it’s an auto immune disease not just an intolerance. A crumb of gluten anything gets in her food and she’s violently ill instantly and for many days. Plus her body attacking itself later and leading to worsening of several health issues that came from being coeliac.
My mother is the same. People roll their eyes saying she needs to stop trying to loose weight, but the ironic thing is she struggles to put on weight due to it.
OP is from South India, very probably Kerala. Coconut oil is used for cooking hair skin everything. The culture here doesnt really understand allergies, especially the older generation. My sister is lactose intolerant and sometimes my mom just forgets and makes stuff with regular milk. It hurts my sister a lot, but they’re slowly getting better about it like subbing in coconut milk into desserts etc.
I cant even imagine the pain and ANGER that family went through. Ya know...I had dream the other night about my youngest son (hes 10) and in my dream I found out he had passed. I woke up screaming. I dont know if Id ever recover in real life if anything happened to ANY of my kids. I'm so sorry they had to go through that. ❤❤❤
I didn’t even know I was a twin from most of my life until me, and the doctors figured out due to medical reasons, but it explained so much about why I always felt like I was missing something and why when I was little, especially I’d always ask if I can have a twin I can’t imagine growing up without the twin I was born with
That women doesn't deserve to call herself a mother I mean you told her that your older daughter has an allergy but still decided to put coconut oil on your daughters hair she should be arrested for child neglect the nerve on this women I feel really sorry for your loss may you find peace in your life
The first time I heard the story a few years ago I actually cried no one but those kids suffer. She may not have seen her day in court but God doesn't forget things like this.
I know that some people will say that we need to forgive. Because that what Jesus would have done. But it's impossible to forgive someone who killed someone that you love and to know that she died a slow and painful death. Dose forgiveness have limitations because if it dose it would be this. If The mother will never forget and never fogive I would understand her
This…hurts. I was born the exact same day that she said they went to the hospital. November 5th 2005. The fact that the mother faced no legal charges makes my blood BOIL.
Beyond horrific. After all the effort they went through to determine what the allergy was to and eliminate it from their precious baby’s life, for the grandmother to disregard it like that… she deserved prison, being cut off from family but allowed to continue to live free is far too mild a punishment! 🤬
I have had family members and acquaintances like this. I'm not fatally allergic to anything but I have both allergies and stomach issues meaning I can't eat some food at all or in very small quantities,it still gives me rashes and I have stomach pain and will start vomiting. I take anti-allergies everyday but they will insist on making food with those ingredients or way of cooking and say "it's fine you won't die". I also have lactose intolerance and my family didn't used to believe me since I developed it later in life. They would sneak dairy milk into stuff instead of lacto free or plant based milk and then be surprised I was projectile vomiting. It only stopped when my dad also started seeing mild signs of it. Otherwise,it wasn't an issue. My dad still insists it's no big deal and tells me the same about me. They have never treated me right and have always dismissed stuff about me. I also have asthma,severe dust and animal allergies and a weak immune system that they low-key think I'm lying about even though I have had it since I was like 12 years old and my mom was obviously there when the doctor talked about it. Some people are just thick in the skull and will never get it.
I’m sorry to hear your family is so disrespectful of your health needs. It sounds like you are still young, though perhaps legally adult; I hope you will be able to live on your own away from their disregard soon! 😬
as a dermatologist i often deal with allergies and it is really hard sometimes to convince the parents or grandparents that no the kid can't eat sweets not even a little
Food has such powerful cultural and social aspects… my daughter isn’t allergic, but incredibly smell/taste/texture sensitive (she is autistic), and her father’s family (her father died a couple years ago from cancer) is clearly disturbed by her polite rejection of most foods offered and refusal to sit at the dinner table when food is being served. They aren’t super mean about it or anything, but I can tell they don’t “get it”; my mother is somewhat the same way. At least I don’t have to worry about her having a medical emergency because someone snuck a bit of a non-preferred food into a preferred one, but that can still be an issue with these kinds of extreme sensory sensitivities and lead to trust issues and eating disorders! 😬
Oh dear lord.. My heart is ripping. I cannot even imagine how painful it was for the parents. How hurt was that litttle child. Oh lord... This is so cruel..
MIL: Please forgive me, please!! OP (In my opinon): I'll forgive you when you ask my daughter for her Forgiveness and she says yes. because it's not the parent she should be asking the forgiveness for it's the child she killed.
Bro my mom told me this story. I cried when she told me. I never thought I’d actually find it. I feel for them. I wish they had crying emojis. All these seem disrespectful.
Her mother wants forgiveness...how the fuck do you forgive something like that? There's no coming back from that, and she will die alone for what she did.
'You can come see me when you bring my daughter with you.' ... wow, that's cold. Hopefully that will get it through to the grandma's head that she will NEVER be forgiven for what she did. Is there a chance for OP to sue her?
I wouldn’t have the slightest urge to talk or to even see her because it is shown that you have warned her so many times about the issue but she still went ahead and did it behind your back causing you and your family pain and to lose a part of yourselves my condolences go towards you and your family❤❤❤
If truly not malicious, or a case of the grandmother, trying to prove an allergy didn’t exist then this is simply a horrific tragedy. My heart goes out to the family and I’m glad that the parents were able to stay together and heal and hope that the children will be able to do so as well. The future holds nothing but happiness and success for all of them.
I might be the only one to point this out but the title says quote "My mother in law doesn’t believe in allergies" but in the post the OP says mum ad Not Mother in law or MIL and they say something about the Mum knowing about the allergy.
As a twin I would feel the same way as the sister, and feel so bad for everyone in the situation except for the mom, she just wanted to be right and maybe it did make the curls softer but it also ruined everyone’s life she is selfish and deserves to die alone. May her older daughter rest in peace, and I hope OP, OP’s husband, younger sister, older brother and OP’s dad can find some peace in this world.🕊️
Fuuuck. This is nightmare fuel. Im allergic to coconuts and palm oils. This drives me crazy and is super hard to avoid. My family wasnt great at checking ingredient lists around the time they banned transfats and food corps started using it more... took a few bad experiences to never not read a label again.
I just recently had a scare with my daughter ahe isn't even 1 yet i let my grandma watch her a lot since i have severe insomnia that nothing helps it so sleeping when I can is important and my baby was given benadryl she had not been diagnosed with any allergies yet and the only reason my grandma wanted to give it to her was she thought just because she has been extremely cranky she had allergies and i had told her already it was only sleep regression as she has really bad bags under her eyes she's coming out of sleep regression now but the Benadryl thing in her system made her to wear even when she was moved in her sleep she didn't even making a noises of a complaint and it wasn't even children's Benadryl it was adult Benadryl I'm now rethinking trusting anyone with my daughter I don't think I could go get a day without waking up to this girl crying and screaming at me because I have starved her so she trys to convince me every morning I don't know what to do without her telling me what to do all the time and being sassy and just talking back not even a year old and already telling me what to do I know that it not as bad as what happened in the story i cant imagine OPs pain but for me this happening scared me to death (I apologize if anyone loses there mind trying to read this ots currently 4 in the morning where I live and still cant sleep so it probably looks like I'm drunk some places I just had to get it out of my head i feel so guilty that my daughter could have suffocated in her sleep because I had to get sleep)
Both my kids kept me sleep deprived for YEARS as toddlers; do what you have to do to get sleep as long as you aren’t hurting or endangering your little one, friend; everyone has to sleep to stay sane and be physically well! Have you tried melatonin, either for yourself or her or both? Starting at a low dose (0.3 mg) is recommended, especially for a young child like that, as some people respond well to low doses, while others need higher ones. Giving Benedryl to a baby to try to force sleep is indeed a bad idea, though; it isn’t to be given to children younger than 6; Zyrtec, however, can cause drowsiness and can be given to kids as young as 2. Hang in there! This won’t last forever! And yeah, do everything you can to keep that baby with you! It sounds like your grandma isn’t exactly safe! 😬 Edit: Misremembered the person giving Benedryl to an infant as OP’s mom instead of grandma.
@@misspatvandriverlady7555 Melatonin has never worked for sleep as long as I can remember getting enough sleep has been a major struggle. The dosage she was given was way more than the dosage you recommended and the person that gave it to her just keeps using the defense of that she had to because I decided that her symptoms weren't enough to point out as caused by allergies and didn't call pediatrician for it and now I don't feel like I can trust anyone which I already struggled with before.
I've heard so many of these stories where somebody didn't believe in allergies, which is just bizarre in itself, but this is the first one where somebody actually died. How horrible!
this reminds me of 2 other blood boiling in rage infant death stories where in one the mother whips its baby to death just because it wet its last diaper and another where there was a mentally unwell husband and someone called the police on him for killing a baby but what happened was when they got there the mom was just cooking and when she saw police she knew or had an idea of what happened cause she rushed downstairs what happened is that they adopted the baby and the husband stabbed the baby in the chest and it bleeded to death right then and there.
I have a coworker with this allergy. Not as severe but allergic reactions can get severe fast. She has other allergies but I make sure since shes usually on the same shifts as me I know exactly where her epipen is in an emergency and make sure I only get coconut free sweets for our station candy jar so she can eat them as a lot of sweets have coconut in them in some capacity. Also write allergy warnings on any treats I bring to the office as we have a few nut allergies (not severe just cant eat them) if it has any of those ingredients in it and bring an alternative thats safe as well in separate disposable containers (so no chance of cross contamination then or later)
I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. To lose a loved one at such a young age. As time moves on, I hope you can try to recover, even if it's hard. ❤❤❤
![[FULL STORY] I Resent My Dead Beat Dad Because He Treats His Step Children Better Than Me..](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/3GpEt8CwRMs/mqdefault.jpg)
![[FULL STORY] I Resent My Dead Beat Dad Because He Treats His Step Children Better Than Me..](/img/tr.png)
This makes me so angry that the daughter died not just at a young age, but slowly and very painfully
i am crying cause i am so angry
Womp womp💀
@@Revathy-ew4vvattention seeker
@@Revathy-ew4vvno one will ever love you
@@Revathy-ew4vvYour birth certificate is your Mother's apology to abortion clinic's everywhere.
this story always makes my blood boil whenever i hear it. the mother was so selfish and the fact that she never got any legal consequences is just wow.
She sure got lifetime consequences, though.
The grandmother you meqn.
Really was manslaugther
@benaud5790 manslaughter and reckless endangerment, and it could be 3rd degree murder because she knew
Yeah she would have been convicted in another country, as it was intentional not an accident after all the discussions about coconutoil they had and all the hospital visits. She had also done the girl's hair any number of times before.
My granny did something similar. Thankfully I was 17 and could tell what was happening. I got a bad shellfish allergy, throat close/ throwing up/shaking violently. In fact, I have to wear a medical bracelet. Went to meet up with her at Olive Garden (who are always great with my allergy) and I always get the same thing and she told me she already ordered it. I asked if she told them about my allergy and she said she did and they’ll change gloves and utensils etc. I take one bite of my food and swallowed and it was like within the minute my throat closed like a porthole and my stomach did a full Olympic gymnast routine. Grabbed my bag and ran to the bathroom, I knocked into a table on my way and heard my granny say “oh she’s just being dramatic” and I was PISSED. But had other things to worry about. Went into a stall and jabbed myself and once my throat opened, I just emptied my stomach and just kept going. I called my mom in the stall and in between puking my guts up, I told her I was having a reaction. And she apparently called my granny (her mom) to take my to the hospital but my granny TRIED TO DISMISS IT. She told my mom I was being over dramatic and doing that for attention. Idk if it was the restaurant or my mom that called an ambulance but next thing I know I got this big paramedic dude putting me on a gurney and said my heart rate was at 178. Oh, btw, the hospital was a 2 minute drive straight.
Long story short: my granny didn’t tell them about my allergy so she could call me out for “faking” my allergies. I ended up in the hospital for 3 days just evacuating my stomach contents. We got settled with a $2k ambulance bill after insurance, and I obviously don’t talk to her any more. Also every year for my birthday, she sends me a gift card for a seafood restaurant 🙄.
Wow and I thought my step mom was nasty testing me on my allergies! Your grandma's weird stay away from her. Just skip it. Gift somebody you like a lot with your gift cards. It saves you money during the holidays. lol Take the money you would have spent on someone else and use that money as the gift. I mean I am sure there's someone in your life that you usually spend money on that they would love to be able to go out and get a free meal.
@@valiantsfelinesmccarty6678 I feel like it’s important to mention that my shellfish allergy didn’t develop until 16. Apparently it’s pretty common for ppl who get shellfish allergies to develop them later. My granny had been telling my family that I was making it up for attention. My granny has some major mental issues that she refuses to address and that resulted in 3/5 going minimal contact and most of us grandkids having horror stories of her.
Waw. So she tried to find evidence that you were faking, instead she got evidence that you were not, and still she clings to her conviction. Was she a total bitch on other topics as well, or does she have a specific seafood obsession ?
Send the gift card back with the receipt of your hospital bill and let her pay that instead
Abusive narcissist
That mother is a monster. No excuse can explain her stupidity. She deserves to be charged with murder because it's what she did. She is responsible.
The death of the child is horrible too.
The gall of the mother to call and ask for forgiveness. Even if she begs on her knees until death takes her, she is delusional to think she would ever have forgiveness.
OP must have so strong to have been able to go on and not be devoured by grief and naher toward her mother.
I agree with the sentiment, but I also wonder where OP is from.
In some cultures, especially with women, there is a generational gap in education. The young women have access to schooling, even to the Ph.D. level, but their mothers were expected to be housewives and have virtually no education, and seem to operate on a mix of folk-wisdom, spiritual faith and superstition in leu of rational thinking. They just never learned how to think. It's not that they're stupid, it's that the little education they received was entirely wrong.
Think of all the idiot high school drop-out moms on Facebook selling essential oils as Covid cures a few years ago. Take that insanity and extend it to every facet of life. In many cultures, women of that generation are good at cooking and cleaning house, but are less than useless in every other regard. With the Internet and Globalization that cycle is finally starting to break with the younger generations who have far more opportunities.
That doesn't excuse what happened, but if it's applicable here (and it sounds like it might be), it would explain how a grown adult didn't understand such a basic concept. If that is the case, then society is at least partially culpable in tolerating such ignorance. If that's true, then perhaps the OP can find some comfort in her career as an educator. She can't undo what her mother did, but maybe by educating others she can prevent similar mistakes destroying other families.
Everyone blames OP's mother, she even blames herself. There's hardly any sense in allocating blame at this point, it's already been dished out correctly. What remains to do is ensure this never happens again. Blaming people changes nothing, but educating them changes everything.
@@Arkryal That is a good Point, however it does not apply to this "Person" because she knew what kind of process the family did to know what caused the rash and to never ever put cocunut near the daughter she knew it but did it anyway because it's the "better hair product"...... My Grandma never knew of electric stuff (TV, PC, Phones, etc....) because she didn't grew up with it but her aunt's family started to have electronics in the house and she needed to watch her cousins during that time, grandma was way older(around 20) then them. During this time she did what she always did, she cleaned the house a bit while the kids were sleeping... she almost electrocuted herself because she used to much water to clean the TV while the TV was on... that is not only the gap in education but also in the living situation that she had...
@@Arkryal There's a huge difference between lack of education and willful ignorance. The mother KNEW what they had been through to identify the allergy, She KNEW and was told that she shouldn't bring coconut products near the child. She KNEW and expected the child to break out in hives, which is uncomfortable and an abuse towards the child. She claimed that she "wasn't thinking", but actually wanted to prove to OP that she "knows better" and thumb her nose at OP by using a product she knew OP hates on her children.
Anyone taking care of someone else's children knows to respect the parents' decisions for those children, allergies or not. She decided to go against the parents' wishes for no good reason. She probably didn't know that the child would die from her stupid stubbornness of not using any other oil, but that's neither here nor there. She was aiming to be a torturer, but ended up as a murderer instead.
There is a quote I heard that I paraphrased into this: "May God forgive her, because I won't."
@@Arkryal I think the title is wrong too, she didn't not believe in the allergy, she just did what she had always done, we live so much of our lives on auto pilot it didn't even occur to her. It's all just very sad really for the mother and OP.
“the difference between brilliance and idiocy is that the genius has their limits.
The scope of human stupidity knows no bounds.” - Albert Einstein.
Arguing with a smart man is hard arguing with a stupid man is even harder
-I don't remember
I like turtles
-Me probably
What he actually said is "There are two things in the world that have no actual borders. One is the universe and the other is human stupidity. And I am uncertain about the universe."
It's more or less the same thing though
These stories always hit home, I had really bad asthma as a kid but my parents “didn’t believe” in inhalers. They tried homeopathy,acupuncture, & a lot of other things. I was so sick & nearly died on my 10th birthday-my incredible stepmum overruled my parents & got me to hospital on a nebuliser & got me inhalers- I couldn’t believe how much better I felt & how quick they worked. I’ve never fully forgiven mum & dad & I have the best step parent ever.
That’s amazing - did they use the right products after ? Honestly your parents should’ve been in jail for child neglect - that is just awful
This is dark, but... Do you think maybe they weren't treating your asthma on purpose and hoping something would happen to you?
Glad your step mom was there for you!! Not all step parents are bad. There are so many who love and care for the little ones they may not have helped create and yet they love them just the same as if they had.
@@JustMe-oo3wmI think it's just psychological denial. It's an unfortunately common reaction I think to having a child with a disability or health impairment but ultimately inexcusable. They think of these misfortunes as something that happens to "other people", not to the child they made with their perfect genes!
Parents who don´t "believe" in medicine because they are in some cult and into all this homeopathy accupuncture and pillule and whatnot alternative esoteric healing sh.. must have their kids taken away by law. The risk is too high they would rather let their kids die and call it "a lack of belief" or "fate - their determined time has simply come" instead of calling an ambulance.
I’m sorry but the audacity to take your daughter’s child, AND JUST MURDER HER ? Absolutely disgusting. No mother would do that. But “not thinking” part just makes no sense, she damn well knew that the child was fatally allergic to coconut. And she still did it. Horrible.
That's how people who don't get allergies work. I'm allergic to onions I get hives, swelling, vomiting, diarrhea, mild breathing problems, painful stomach cramps, and headaches if it ends up in my food. That said I've had so many family members deliberately add onions to my food cause it won't kill you....... Yeah I'm not fatality allergic but it still causes pain and other things. Onion powder I can do but straight up raw onion can make me violently ill and yet people still test to see if I have an reaction..... It sucks. Worse still if its a rare allergy people are even more inclined to test. My mom only found out mine cause as a child anytime onions even touched my food id vomit and break out into itchy bumps making going out to eat a living hell cause how much onions are in everyday cooking
Yeah she saw the reaction start herself & gave the toddler Benadryl. How can she claim that? Even if she really forgot, the reaction should've reminded her & she should've gone & washed both girls' hair out really well & anything they might've touched & called her daughter immediately to come get at least that twin despite it being late, so that the sick twin could be monitored & taken to the ER if the benadryl didn't stop the reaction.
@@tamarasmith9060 Exactly!
@@ebifuon6776 The mother is a damn grown up, and yet she still thinks the twins will be “okay”
@ebifuon6776 are you allergic to cooked onions as well? My husband can eat cooked onions but cannot tolerate raw onions at all.
I'm allergic to bee's, honey, bee's wax, basically anything made by bees. I tell everyone that i have ever lived with to make sure that they don't give me food that has honey in or on it. I was living with my mother for a short period of time when i was in my 20's, her boyfriend at the time was a pretty good cook and would make some really good food. One day they came into the room i was staying in and my mother said this is so good you should try this ham that her BF just made. I asked her does it have honey in it? she looked to her boyfriend that was standing outside the door he mumbled saying that he always used honey on his ham and that it was normal. I got angry because i had specifically told him several times that i couldn't have honey. I immediately got angry and asked my mother did you know there was honey in it? This man went on a tirade for over an hour about how allergies aren't real. I looked him dead in the face and told him i would never eat any of his food again because i was afraid he was going to kill me by giving me honey when he was told several time i can't have it.
Side note, if i have something with honey in it and i notice the stinging in my mouth i can spit it out and wash my mouth out and usually be fine, but if i swallow it before realizing i get deathly ill and start projectile vomiting all over the place, and i am usually bed ridden for a few days. if its one bite I can usually manage it. so its not like if i tried a bite i would have died but i don't know anyone that wants to projectile vomit just to try a piece of food, but if they would have served it to me and the taste of the honey was masked and i ate a whole slice of ham i most definitely would have ended up in the hospital at minimum.
I'm the same but add mushrooms and coconut to the mix with the occasional one of if I walk near grass and on it I get blisters cuz off the pollen and such so even in the summer I have to wear long sleeves and cover up well ... everyone in my family knows and I always ask but in occasions some family members either "forget or feel judged " if I refuse to eat food with honey or mushrooms and I'm just like ok you want a cadaver to say it's so good is drop dead delicious got it ... welp my ma is a non believer of allergies even tho she's allergic to seafood and I do cook a lot of seafood and I do clean it out 3 times just to be safe but she on the other hand shoves candy or pushes me to try foods even if they have my allergens in it my dogs go into the yard and roll in the grass and I shower them every day to take their allergens off last week she noticed my allergens were real as I didn't know she took my dogs outside and I had my face swell with blisters and could barely breathe without coughing or sneezing and if I sneeze alot I start to hiccup too so I was a hisnecup mess to say the least with a 102 fever for 2 days and my face stayed swollen for a while the blisters are gone now but the whole neck area is still itchy she still says I was being dramatic the worst 2 where when I was 9 and when I was 14 where in school I didn't get told they added homey and mushrooms to my food and when I went back home I had regurgitated the food up and the one where I was 9 I passed out in the hallway and the nanny saw me and helped me out to not stop breathing(asficiate ?) the one when I was 14 I passed out after hearing my dog pawll the door open and barking at my ma to go check up on me with my oldest niece waddling behind her... for her we was in the fast food restaurant we bought some pop chicken but they mixed ours with the other person who got popshrimp and she had hives rashes swollen face and turned almost purple and we don't have any epens so i took the bite she was still kinda chewing on out of her mouth and tried to help her out washing her mouth out and it did but it couldve turned bad if someone with their pen didn't injest some into her which now that i think about it could've gone way worse cuz of dosage measures and such while we was waiting on dear ol sis .. i have a scar in my arm that I play with at times from a bee sting when we had arrived at the place where my mas allergies occurred but mines was on a different day and to top it off i was listening to a song i loved at the time called poison and the lyrics as i felta sharppen like stab on my arm was "my love is like a poison running through your veins" somethingsomething "my love may killyouif you don'tfeel the same " somethings somethings"cuz im poison"and then a high pitch poison scream i haven'tgone to that fast food restaurant nor listened to that song since that day and I still remember the burn as my whole hand swoll up and it was on exam week 2 so writing was a pain and people as well as classmates would ask why I had a hand bigger(as in f at tie er) than the other one and I would be like have you seen the new startwars with the bee clones no welli was a part in that or now I'm Pikachu (in Spanish pica is itchor sting depending on the sentence) and instead of saying pika pika i would say pica pica la abeja me picola abejame pico(or as it would translate to sting sting the bee sting me the bee sting me) and that was a joke for a whilewith my friendgroup...but anyways idk why people think allergens aren't real ... sorry that happened to you and hope your mas bf knows and learns better cuz it ain't a fun life that you have to prevent yourself from death to even enjoy a tiny piece of a meal he doesn't know of it he should do his research he doesn't believe ok just don't let him push you on what he believes does he have a medical allergens diagnosis license or agency then until he does and even if he does and if he's a chef or not he ain't entitled to touch your food you already fear your food enough to not have it be covered or cooked with your allergens to also have the worry of someone trying to harm you with food
I'm adding a lot of honey when I'm making ham and you can't taste it or you can barely taste it if you have really strong taste buds. I love honey and ham is more soft that way, but if someone in my family had allergy to it I would forgot that honey even exist for the time when that family member living with me. I hope your mom broke up with him?
Stupid self center man. Mom hopefully was better.
Honestly it feels like some people won’t believe in allergens until you force them to watch you die from it, listen to the cops, the coroner, the hospital, get thrown papers and evidence of how allergic reactions work, witness and autopsy of the body even, and even then they might believe it. One of my friend from college is one out of three fraternal triplets, and she can’t even use a specific washer in the communal laundry room in their dorm bc someone used a detergent that would give her a nasty rash and possibly blisters if she didn’t notice it well enough.
I feel like it’s just some people being lazy or thinking some people feel entitled to stuff, but it just makes no sense why you can’t assume the best in people in cases like these, or even try to be considerate.
An allergy to honey honestly sucks tbh
Op talked to her mom on the phone 20min after she had noticed the kid was starting to have an allergic reaction & gave her benadryl. The only reason I can think of for her to not mention that at that time is that she wanted to show Op that the allergy wasn't that serious. The exposure to coconut was intentional, the result was not.
That's even worse. She lied to her daughter just prove her wrong. She knew what she was doing to her granddaughter and wanted OP to come home and say "I told you it's no big deal".
That’s my thought. The OPs mother is a jealous narcissist and probably thinks she did no wrong underneath it all even though she apologized for it.
The OP is very obviously Indian. South Indian if I'm not wrong. And Indian parents are notorious for wanting to parent their grandchildren as They see fit, not the parent of the child (who is their own child). And Indian parents have a very long history of disregarding serious illnesses like mental health issues or allergies that 'they don't believe in' (it all basically screams of deep mistrust in themselves as they clearly don't think they raised their child well-enough to make their own rules for their own kids i.e. their grandkids - so they try to parent their grandkids too and might just end up killing them, or at the very least traumatizing them for life for their efforts). The grandmother was literally part of the elimination process to figure out said allergy - so she knew full well the extent that OP had gone to to get that diagnosis and it baffles me how she still wanted to experiment like that. Atleast OP here and most of their family and friends have gone NC with the mother. Indian families expect you to forgive such murders/trauma cause 'they are family after all'
Seriously what the hell was wrong with her mother to "accidently" do that she had to have done that on purpose to try to "prove" her wrong like wtf
....
Too many idiots try to prove that they 'know' better. Like the story about a mom who forced their child to eat fish. That mom got lucky. The kid threw up right at his mom's feet. Was never asked again to eat fish.
If putting coconut oil in the hair is a cultural thing, it is something she did for 40+ years. She did not take the decision to put coconut oil in the hair of the girl, she did it by automatism.
@@ghyslainabelshe knew theres a heavely allergic child in the house. She went thru all that hospital stuff with the mother. Cultural or not at that point it would HAVE TO be imprinted in her brain that in THIS HOUSE coconut oil is an absolute no-no. She ignored it. Most likely she thought it will be ok becouse "its just hair, Im not going to feed her with it". She thought that worst case scenario kid gonna have a rush... But this time girl died.
Yeah its not the mystake its the drugging and ignoreing of the in pain unwell child that led to the childs death thats sus.
As who has a child rashing up vomiting etc and just sends them to bed with sleep aids.
@@ghyslainabelor she think her daughter was being too crazy against coconut oil. It’s her chance to prove nothing bad ever happen to “our people” with traditional products.
I know this story. This isn’t OP’s mother-in-law, but OP’s mother. Still a monster, though.
I don't think she is monster. She didn't do it maliciously. But yes she was an ignorant idiot. A baby died because of her careless and ignorance.
Noticed that too? Sad story and sad that everyone seems to have a problem with total accuracy. Suprised this didn't happen before they found out what was causing the babies allergies.
We monsters will NEVER compare to that grotesque thing. Humans, please stop.
Was the mother charged? Please tell me she was.
I don't believe OP'S mother for one minute. She knew better than to expose her grandchild to the allergen, but SHE knew best. Now her grandchild is dead, by her hand. I think OP'S response to her mother regarding forgiveness is right on target. She may forgive her mother someday, but they won't have a relationship.
I think she is from india specially a South India part because they use coconut oil in everything. Also i think it wasn't a mistake but a deliberate ignorance. As much as i can feel the love from them i also find there ignorance pathetic. There are things i hate about my mother yet she keep doing it like she is doing it to deliberately making a point.
Yeah probably from kerala, the dishes there are known to have coconut in them
The moment she said they use them in ceremonies. I knew they are Indian.
this is exactly what came to my mind when she described her culture.
I knew it was Indian as soon as they smoke about coconuts
this is honestly one of the saddest reddit stories i've heard of...disgusting on the mothers part. i hope the family finds peace eventually😢
That woman is a monster. She deserves to rot in prison and then in hell. That sweet little girl died in a horrifying way and very slowly. That's so so so heart breaking. The mother of that girl is so strong not to rip that monster apart for harming her baby. Ugh, I can't even. I am in tears just listening to this. My heart breaks for that mother and her family because there is a huge hole in all their hearts for their loved one who passed. So tragic.
I wouldn't have been so merciful. She has a lot more patience than I do and I respect her for that. And you are right, she is very strong. I hope she's doing ok now a days. That's a horrible thing for a parent to go through. I'm just gonna go hug my twin sister now 😭.
Humans, please stop. We monsters will NEVER compare to that hideous thing.
I feel so bad for OP and her husband, it was really selfish to use a product that contained an allergen then not immediately trying to wash it out. That poor little girl.
The fact the children were almost taken from their parents but the woman who actually murdered the child faced no legal consequences is gross AF.
Learning that your child died a slow painful death b/c of your own mothers doing is the worst news any parent could get. My heart goes out to OP & I really do hope her, along with her family, is able to heal from that traumatic experience.
I've read too many articles of people who either don't listen or believe in allergies and tragedies result. The one that always sticks in my craw is the boy who was allergic to peanuts and was mowing a neighbor lady's lawn and she wanted to give him cookies that she made. When he asked if they had peanuts in them, she said that if he didn't eat the cookies, he'd be insulting her. Being a child who seeks adult approval, he ate them and died. When interviewed by the police, she had stated that she knew of his allergy but wanted to prove him wrong because she didn’t believe in allergies. She felt that they were a "fad" because they didn't exist when she was a girl.
This was in the late 80's or early 90's and nothing happened to the woman. However, the boy's parents were indicted for not supervising their son whilst mowing a lawn.
I would have gone to jail if the neighbour had done that to my child.
@@katherineferrett6524 me too, like wtfh with that evil and ignorant women?!
As someone who is also allergic to coconut, this hit me particularly hard. It was so difficult to figure out what I was reacting to, and its in so many things that you wouldn't expect it to be in, but at least my parents take it seriously.
I know a woman who lost her job in healthcare tangentially because of allergies. She worked as a caregiver in a senior home and there was this sweet little old lady who every day would get up, get dressed to the nines and wait by the lobby for her family to come visit. But they never did. It infuriated the caregiver. So one day she had enough, snooped around the records office (BIG no-no to begin with) and called the family.
Turned out Gramma didn’t believe grandbaby had a nut allergy... then didn't seek help afterwards when the anaphylaxis kicked in. Family didn’t press charges, but instead put Gramma in a nursing home and left her there.
Caregiver lost her job as soon as management found out.
With multiples, if one dies tend to feel incomplete. Since they shared a womb together for those months inside it.
And I don't think that the grandmother really feels remorse over her actions. Otherwise she would have admitted to their form of cps of what she did.
Also, this is one good reason WHY to take allergies seriously. They CAN kill. Plus, a allergy one time might be mild. The next time may not be so lucky and be life threatening.
Exactly. If I ever did this (which I would never.) I would immediately turn myself in, because how could you just kill your grandchild and not feel guilty enough to pay the price? She is so disgusting.
Grandma didn't think and it cost her everything.
@@annmariestinson1232No, she THOUGHT she could prove a point and be right. She lied to OP about her babies condition, she noticed the rash but couldn't care less to take it seriously, and she didn't tell her husband about putting coconut in their grandkids hair. Why? Because she knew about the allergy and the consequences, but she would rather poison her grandchild just so she can be right. She thought she could get away with it and be proud of HER knowing better. She's only sorry now because she did lose everything, and it's all her fault.
(her calling herself just a baby and made me think she probably doesn't remember)
But if she did she would remember being in the car with her dead sister, because they took both of them to the hospital while the one was dead
She feels lost and incomplete because she is. Her twin was like the other half of herself. The other part of her soul. Some people will never understand the twin bond
How was she not arrested?
That's what I'm thinking. She knew about the allergy and how severe it is and she did it anyway. How's that not a murder?
If this were in the US, OP could sue the mother for murder and whatever else she can.
Bc it's a fake story. Loving parents would be in jail for murder bc of this and legally she wouldn't be able to avoid accountability.
She would have claimed it was an accident, that she didn't realise the allergy was so severe or she forgot. Add that in to her elderly age and some fake remorse, the courts could have dismissed it.
But it's good to know that even if the courts didn't find her guilty, almost her entire family *did* and she lost everyone, like she deserved.
OP has to bring about the charges. People don't just appear in prison cells or a courtroom. You have to report it. The hospital can't because to them, it was an allergic reaction. OP knows it wasn't and can prove that her mother knew she was allergic. This would be a very easy case to win
Why is it that some people just can't be told? Poor child died due to sheer stubbornness.
I'm probably never gonna be a mother. But there are NO words. Unbelievable especially since OPs mother KNEW damn well about the allergy. Not only did OPs daughter die but slowly and painfully. Makes my blood boil
How was the monster not in jail? Or in the ground
The ground is definitely preferable. If I had kids, and some idiot knows what my kids and I went through, then proceeded to ignore it and cause the death of my child... She'd be in the ground or I'd be in jail. Depends on if anyone stopped me.
Absolutely heartbreaking story. There is a sense of entitlement that comes with grandparents that is usually innocuous but sometimes dangerous.
My heart is bleeding.
I am indescribably sorry for your loss.
I cannot understand how some of the elders in Asia HAVE TO FORCE their ways onto their children. Respect goes both ways.
😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
This made me cry, I was in the same situation older brother, older sister, I was the only one with allergies (peanuts). In 2012 my older sister died from a seizure and suffocated under a trash bin from falling off her bed. My older brother is very protective of me now, as the same I am with him even though he’s 22 and I’m 14 we still talk everyday and hang out with each other.
The worst part about it she was told that she was allergic, but she still did it
My sister is allergic to eggs. When she was four years old my grandmother gave us homemade icecream made with eggs. She told my mother there was no egg in the ice cream because my gran wanted to prove that my sister was just a picky eater!. My sister ate the ice cream and then, almost immediately, vomited all over the porch!
People who don't believe in allergies make me sick. It's not the business to try and prove that a person does not have an allergy.
This is why I hate when parents have that 'I know better' attitude not only with their children, but with doctors and other professionals. Because OP's mother refused to understand the nature of her granddaughter's allergy, she ended up killing her. She should be in jail.
She knew, she just didn't take it seriously and wanted to prove that it was no big deal. This is story is so sad and disturbing. It's the lack of maturity displayed by the mother, and how many of these people are out here in the world with us? They just have to have everything their way. People that refuse to be told no are dangerous.
Some old folks doesn't believe in 'allergies'. They think that exposure will get a person's body adapt to it eventually. This story is so heartbreaking, hoping for peace of mind for the whole family.
allergies seemed to not really be around back then. No one understands that because of the changing world and how many chemicals humans are exposed to on a daily basis, it is literally changing our dna. they're so stupid so so freaking ignorant andstupid
It makes me so sad to hear it was a painful death for such a young baby ;-; allergies are a serious issue and still, nowadays I hear/read people say they are exaggerating over asking for traces of allergens on food.
11:36 I would say exactly the same to her, something along the lines of "You do not deserve to come back because the daughter YOU MURDERED won't come back."
She got it cheap since she deserves to be in jail.
RIP little girl :(
The last part broke my heart 😢 "I know I was only a baby but I feel so incomplete, like a part of me is missing." I hope that family finds peace, especially mom and grandma.
Grandma doesn’t deserve peace. She murdered that innocent baby.
@@sadiewashington2855 Grandma made a terrible mistake and she's paying dearly for it. What she did shouldn't be forgotten, but enough time has passed that she should begin the healing process. If she is truly remorseful, she holds that right.
@@serein_sun Grandma may forgive herself if she can, but her daughter has no obligation to forgive her. and if the daughter's forgiveness is required for grandma to find peace, I honestly do not believe she will ever do so.
@@serein_sunLeaving your daughter battling for her children on her own instead of taking accountability and admitting to cps, or whichever law enforcement, that she was the murderer, thus helping her daughter's case, is solid evidence she wasn't, in fact, remorseful back then, in spite of pretending to be. What right does she hold to be trusted now, after effectively lying twice?
@@serein_sunGiving your grandchild some coconut oil, not taking said grandchild to a hospital when you noticed rashes forming, and giving some pill to make them sleep is not a mistake. She didn't tell OP about this. She didn't inform OP about her babies condition. She didn't even tell her husband, who was there with her, about using coconut oil in their grandkids hair. She made a choice. She knew about the allergy. She knew what she was doing.
I have a seizure disorder and could have easily had an accident if any of my relative decided not to give me my medicine because they don't believe in medication. What a selfish grandmother.
To sum up the story.
OP's family uses coconut due to Traditional Values and the daughter was severely allergic to coconut. OP's mother had put coconut oil in the girl's hair and the grandmother had gave her Benadryl because she was feeling sleepy and wanted to put her to bed. She had passed slowly and painfully in her sleep.
R.I.P to OP's daughter
I work at a retirement home and we have a few people who have severe allergies to certain foods. We have a whole procedure in place for them so they can have a hot meal without any fears of getting sick. I even take the extra step of cleaning their places first after meals to eliminate risk of cross contamination on days when we do serve said allergens.
One afternoon, I came in and noticed the cook chucking out cut up strawberries from a prepared fruit salad. I didn’t think much of it until he said it was safe to serve. One of our residents is allergic to strawberries. I knew not to serve it to him and made sure the other servers knew. I also took the extra step of reporting the cook to our boss.
I’ve had residents thank me for taking their allergies seriously and for taking steps to ensure they had a safe hot meal.
Stories like this anger me. Like…how could you not take it seriously when you know just how severe it is? OP’s mother should’ve gotten thrown in prison for it. But I’m going to have to settle for ostracization from everyone. Hopefully she’ll get justice in the next life.
OP, I know you’re not likely to see this but I want you to know that I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a child is horrible. Nobody deserves to go through that.
Story 1 Your mother murdered your child and should have gone to jail. She knew and did it anyway. I would never speak to hercagai . I don't understand why there were no charges.
No, she didn't murder her child. She left her child in the care of her mother-in-law, who murdered her child.
She shouldn't have been in jail.
She should have been two feet under, after having experiencing the same suffering she inflicted on the baby.
@@caffeinedelusionsWay to blame OP. Grandmother was told, and SHE didn't listen. Grandfather knew and respected it. Hell, when he realized what his wife did, he checked the other baby in case it was happening to his other grandchild. OPs mom was a liar, she wanted to prove a point and it costed her everything.
@@nicksuazo4377 you need to work on your reading comprehension
Jail? She should be in Solitary Confinement for what she did.
sounds like a murder case to me.. knew about the Allergy and still did it. fuckin hell.. shes a monster
I have a number of allergies, developed mid life one is anaphylactic, a couple others could get there if repeatedly exposed. I have had people "test" me on allergy to everything bovine (beef, cow). They didn't believe me. It really pisses me off when someone thinks they can do that against my choice, how dare they! OP is right to be angry, her mother totally violated her her and her family. Some things cannot be forgiven and some people can never be trusted again.
Some allergies can start out as intolerance allergies and then develop into full blown acute onset anaphylactic . It is not commonly known that it is possible to have a delayed anaphylactic reaction up to 4 days after exposure. The onset can be faster for subsequent exposures. I've ended up in the ER three times now. One time I woke up in the middle of the night feeling really anxious, got up and noticed the welts form on my skin, I knew what it was and got myself up to the ER. Being aware of delayed reactions is important also. I used to work in the dental field and had to watch out for my premeditated patients. I wish this was known back then, as people need to know this.
I hope this little known knowledge helps somebody else.
Thank you for posting this, I didn't know they could get worse or that a reaction could be so delayed.
I didn't know they could be so delayed. Thank you.
My daughter is anaphylactic to peanuts and soy and other foods make her very ill. But it's she has had reactions return after using her Epi-Pen. So, it's important to get medical attention as the Epi-Pen or even just Benadryl may only buy you time.
I can commiserate with you. I lost my daughters in a drunk driving accident when they were visiting family in Australia. The twins were 17 and their sister was 16. I was not able to see them. I had seen them off, happy, and healthy. I received three boxes of cremated remains just after Christmas. That was 27 years ago. I can tell you that it's easier eventually but never leaves.
I am deeply sorry for your great loss. I wish you peace.
There are no words. 😞
This infuriates meme! This is why I sent my kiddos lunches until I got a nasty gram from them about “not sending all the food groups the way they thought I should”. My kiddo has gasteroparesis/allergies to soy and wheat (actual allergies) as well as inability to process proteins in dairy. So they forced me to give school lunches. I brought a note from the physician stating the dietary restrictions and the notation that these things can place my kiddo in picu. Needed to say they decided they knew better than even the ped/dietician as well as the gastroenterologist. They forced my child to eat all the foods they placed placed on the tray and stood over watching my kid to ensure it was eaten. Three days of this landed my kiddo in emergency then in picu for over a week. All the paperwork (strongly worded from all physicians/specialists and pediatrician, were sent over to the school basically tearing the entire school and school district a new one! It was terrifying and my little one suffered for weeks due to their inability to understand the difference between sensitivities and allergies. They didn’t even understand what inability to process proteins was or why it was completely different than allergy or sensitivity or intolerance. They learned real quick! I was furious and also tore them a new one. Especially when they attempted to give my kid lower grades for “nursing school” even though they knew full well my kiddo was in picu, fighting for their life and in excruciating pain. They said “well your kids fingers aren’t broken just have them do online work”. 😡 SCREW U BECAUSE THIS POOR KID IS BARELY COHERENT! Was barely conscious for about the first four-6 days with very little times when even opening their eyes. I never played the game with them after that concerning my kids health. Why people can’t listen when you say this kid has allergies and can’t have these foods! Is beyond me. I feel such knowing this woman’s need to be right and decide she knew better took the life of an incident child here in this experience. I’m sick to my stomach listening to this. I cannot imagine the pain this mother Anna father and their kids are going through.
I would have gone on a rampage
oh i saw this story before... how the hell do you ignore the parents telling you "dont do this or she will die" and think youre a good person, allergies range from, an annoyance to deadly and shouldnt be taken lightly, ive seen what a mild allergy can do to you let alone a serious one
Parents, always crossing boundaries...
I genuinely don't understand people who say allergies aren't real
I just want to say that ‘not thinking’ doesn’t excuse her for not at least checking the kid repeatedly over the night. If you give a kid allergy meds for an allergic reaction, you should still be keeping an eye on them. But I can understand not having thought about it in the moment. The grandma used coconut oil religiously, a lapse in thinking could easily have occurred where she just used the oil out of habit and didn’t think about what she had done. But it’s the fact she gave the kid benedryl and never checked up on her that is unforgivable to me.
I am so very sorry for this loss of your daughter. Please keep yourself well. *Big Gentle Hug*
Allergies are no jokes.
Once, when I was a teen, one of my cousin spent a month-long vacation at my parents' place with our grandmother and (imposing us at the last minute) her boyfriend.
The very night my mother had prepared my grandmother's (her own mother) favorite meal, a ratatouille.
Just before the boyfriend's first bite, my parents and I see him looking uneasy until he pretty much pass out.
A that moment my cousin ask my mother if there was garlic in it (of bloody course there was, it was a ratatouille). Turns out that she forgot to tell us that the guy was allergic to garlic when she brought him in a region where garlic is pretty much everywhere in food. (Not helped by the fact that my mother's cooking could be called garlic-enriched)
The mere emanations coming out of the food nearly clogged his respiratory tracts. The guy was pale as a corpse when he fell down his chair, sweating as if he crossed a desert during a heatwave.
The amount of times I’ve been p!ssed off in my life because someone thought it was a good idea to ignore gluten free requests because they thought it was a fad or thinking you only get a little upset tummy, they’re just being too demanding (cross contamination requests). To clarify this is angry on the behalf of my mum who is coeliac, it’s an auto immune disease not just an intolerance. A crumb of gluten anything gets in her food and she’s violently ill instantly and for many days. Plus her body attacking itself later and leading to worsening of several health issues that came from being coeliac.
My mother is the same. People roll their eyes saying she needs to stop trying to loose weight, but the ironic thing is she struggles to put on weight due to it.
christ, wtf is wrong with that mother. Wasn't thinking? nah. Deliberately did it coz she had massive hangups about hair oil. Straight up murder. Wtaf
OP is from South India, very probably Kerala. Coconut oil is used for cooking hair skin everything.
The culture here doesnt really understand allergies, especially the older generation. My sister is lactose intolerant and sometimes my mom just forgets and makes stuff with regular milk. It hurts my sister a lot, but they’re slowly getting better about it like subbing in coconut milk into desserts etc.
North India also has a pretty big coconut culture imo
at least where I'm from it's pretty similar to op
I cant even imagine the pain and ANGER that family went through.
Ya know...I had dream the other night about my youngest son (hes 10) and in my dream I found out he had passed.
I woke up screaming.
I dont know if Id ever recover in real life if anything happened to ANY of my kids.
I'm so sorry they had to go through that. ❤❤❤
I didn’t even know I was a twin from most of my life until me, and the doctors figured out due to medical reasons, but it explained so much about why I always felt like I was missing something and why when I was little, especially I’d always ask if I can have a twin I can’t imagine growing up without the twin I was born with
That women doesn't deserve to call herself a mother I mean you told her that your older daughter has an allergy but still decided to put coconut oil on your daughters hair she should be arrested for child neglect the nerve on this women I feel really sorry for your loss may you find peace in your life
mom knew the history, the exact problem, and yet still . . . . incomprehensible
The only reason ops mother is still alive and not killed by op for what she did is because op has her other two children that need her.
The first time I heard the story a few years ago I actually cried no one but those kids suffer. She may not have seen her day in court but God doesn't forget things like this.
I know that some people will say that we need to forgive. Because that what Jesus would have done. But it's impossible to forgive someone who killed someone that you love and to know that she died a slow and painful death. Dose forgiveness have limitations because if it dose it would be this. If The mother will never forget and never fogive I would understand her
This…hurts. I was born the exact same day that she said they went to the hospital. November 5th 2005. The fact that the mother faced no legal charges makes my blood BOIL.
Beyond horrific. After all the effort they went through to determine what the allergy was to and eliminate it from their precious baby’s life, for the grandmother to disregard it like that… she deserved prison, being cut off from family but allowed to continue to live free is far too mild a punishment! 🤬
I would NEVER speak to the mother again.
Ever.
Perfect response: You can come see me when you bring my daughter back.
I have had family members and acquaintances like this. I'm not fatally allergic to anything but I have both allergies and stomach issues meaning I can't eat some food at all or in very small quantities,it still gives me rashes and I have stomach pain and will start vomiting. I take anti-allergies everyday but they will insist on making food with those ingredients or way of cooking and say "it's fine you won't die". I also have lactose intolerance and my family didn't used to believe me since I developed it later in life. They would sneak dairy milk into stuff instead of lacto free or plant based milk and then be surprised I was projectile vomiting. It only stopped when my dad also started seeing mild signs of it. Otherwise,it wasn't an issue. My dad still insists it's no big deal and tells me the same about me. They have never treated me right and have always dismissed stuff about me. I also have asthma,severe dust and animal allergies and a weak immune system that they low-key think I'm lying about even though I have had it since I was like 12 years old and my mom was obviously there when the doctor talked about it. Some people are just thick in the skull and will never get it.
I’m sorry to hear your family is so disrespectful of your health needs. It sounds like you are still young, though perhaps legally adult; I hope you will be able to live on your own away from their disregard soon! 😬
This is similar to so many anti vax stories. These people never learn..their beliefs are more important than lives.
as a dermatologist i often deal with allergies and it is really hard sometimes to convince the parents or grandparents that no the kid can't eat sweets not even a little
Food has such powerful cultural and social aspects… my daughter isn’t allergic, but incredibly smell/taste/texture sensitive (she is autistic), and her father’s family (her father died a couple years ago from cancer) is clearly disturbed by her polite rejection of most foods offered and refusal to sit at the dinner table when food is being served. They aren’t super mean about it or anything, but I can tell they don’t “get it”; my mother is somewhat the same way. At least I don’t have to worry about her having a medical emergency because someone snuck a bit of a non-preferred food into a preferred one, but that can still be an issue with these kinds of extreme sensory sensitivities and lead to trust issues and eating disorders! 😬
How tf do people just decide not to believe in allergies? That woman should have gone to prison because her superior attitude killed that child!
Hey so sorry for your loss. I can't believe you lost your daughter because of a idiotic person who didn't believe in allergies.
Oh dear lord.. My heart is ripping. I cannot even imagine how painful it was for the parents. How hurt was that litttle child. Oh lord... This is so cruel..
MIL: Please forgive me, please!!
OP (In my opinon): I'll forgive you when you ask my daughter for her Forgiveness and she says yes.
because it's not the parent she should be asking the forgiveness for it's the child she killed.
Bro my mom told me this story. I cried when she told me. I never thought I’d actually find it. I feel for them. I wish they had crying emojis. All these seem disrespectful.
May the pain of your horrific loss soften its grip on you.
Her mother wants forgiveness...how the fuck do you forgive something like that? There's no coming back from that, and she will die alone for what she did.
'You can come see me when you bring my daughter with you.' ... wow, that's cold. Hopefully that will get it through to the grandma's head that she will NEVER be forgiven for what she did. Is there a chance for OP to sue her?
I wouldn’t have the slightest urge to talk or to even see her because it is shown that you have warned her so many times about the issue but she still went ahead and did it behind your back causing you and your family pain and to lose a part of yourselves my condolences go towards you and your family❤❤❤
If truly not malicious, or a case of the grandmother, trying to prove an allergy didn’t exist then this is simply a horrific tragedy. My heart goes out to the family and I’m glad that the parents were able to stay together and heal and hope that the children will be able to do so as well. The future holds nothing but happiness and success for all of them.
The title is misguiding. OPs own mother killed her grandchild. Not the mother in law.
I might be the only one to point this out but the title says quote "My mother in law doesn’t believe in allergies" but in the post the OP says mum ad Not Mother in law or MIL and they say something about the Mum knowing about the allergy.
Oh my gosh, this made me cry. I am so sorry for you. I know I don't know you but I still and proud of you for writing this.
As a twin I would feel the same way as the sister, and feel so bad for everyone in the situation except for the mom, she just wanted to be right and maybe it did make the curls softer but it also ruined everyone’s life she is selfish and deserves to die alone. May her older daughter rest in peace, and I hope OP, OP’s husband, younger sister, older brother and OP’s dad can find some peace in this world.🕊️
I had a feeling that this was going to be about this event. I always felt so bad for the family. 😢
Fuuuck. This is nightmare fuel. Im allergic to coconuts and palm oils. This drives me crazy and is super hard to avoid. My family wasnt great at checking ingredient lists around the time they banned transfats and food corps started using it more... took a few bad experiences to never not read a label again.
I just recently had a scare with my daughter ahe isn't even 1 yet i let my grandma watch her a lot since i have severe insomnia that nothing helps it so sleeping when I can is important and my baby was given benadryl she had not been diagnosed with any allergies yet and the only reason my grandma wanted to give it to her was she thought just because she has been extremely cranky she had allergies and i had told her already it was only sleep regression as she has really bad bags under her eyes she's coming out of sleep regression now but the Benadryl thing in her system made her to wear even when she was moved in her sleep she didn't even making a noises of a complaint and it wasn't even children's Benadryl it was adult Benadryl I'm now rethinking trusting anyone with my daughter I don't think I could go get a day without waking up to this girl crying and screaming at me because I have starved her so she trys to convince me every morning I don't know what to do without her telling me what to do all the time and being sassy and just talking back not even a year old and already telling me what to do I know that it not as bad as what happened in the story i cant imagine OPs pain but for me this happening scared me to death (I apologize if anyone loses there mind trying to read this ots currently 4 in the morning where I live and still cant sleep so it probably looks like I'm drunk some places I just had to get it out of my head i feel so guilty that my daughter could have suffocated in her sleep because I had to get sleep)
Both my kids kept me sleep deprived for YEARS as toddlers; do what you have to do to get sleep as long as you aren’t hurting or endangering your little one, friend; everyone has to sleep to stay sane and be physically well! Have you tried melatonin, either for yourself or her or both? Starting at a low dose (0.3 mg) is recommended, especially for a young child like that, as some people respond well to low doses, while others need higher ones. Giving Benedryl to a baby to try to force sleep is indeed a bad idea, though; it isn’t to be given to children younger than 6; Zyrtec, however, can cause drowsiness and can be given to kids as young as 2. Hang in there! This won’t last forever! And yeah, do everything you can to keep that baby with you! It sounds like your grandma isn’t exactly safe! 😬
Edit: Misremembered the person giving Benedryl to an infant as OP’s mom instead of grandma.
@@misspatvandriverlady7555 Melatonin has never worked for sleep as long as I can remember getting enough sleep has been a major struggle. The dosage she was given was way more than the dosage you recommended and the person that gave it to her just keeps using the defense of that she had to because I decided that her symptoms weren't enough to point out as caused by allergies and didn't call pediatrician for it and now I don't feel like I can trust anyone which I already struggled with before.
Disgusting
Absolutely disgusting
@Jun1p3r_0n_Pawz she's going to hell
😢 This is terrible. If only your mother would have listened and respected your boundaries. I’m sorry this happened.
I've heard so many of these stories where somebody didn't believe in allergies, which is just bizarre in itself, but this is the first one where somebody actually died. How horrible!
The mother-in-law broke the law and therefore the long arm of the law should have apprehended her for the long haul.
A.I. voice: whispers a tragic title
A I. voice one second later: *HELLO.*
The mother/OP from this post has asked that the story NOT BE SHARED any more, as she finds it painful.
Good luck making THAT happen on the internet… 🤦♀️
this reminds me of 2 other blood boiling in rage infant death stories where in one the mother whips its baby to death just because it wet its last diaper and another where there was a mentally unwell husband and someone called the police on him for killing a baby but what happened was when they got there the mom was just cooking and when she saw police she knew or had an idea of what happened cause she rushed downstairs what happened is that they adopted the baby and the husband stabbed the baby in the chest and it bleeded to death right then and there.
I have a coworker with this allergy. Not as severe but allergic reactions can get severe fast. She has other allergies but I make sure since shes usually on the same shifts as me I know exactly where her epipen is in an emergency and make sure I only get coconut free sweets for our station candy jar so she can eat them as a lot of sweets have coconut in them in some capacity. Also write allergy warnings on any treats I bring to the office as we have a few nut allergies (not severe just cant eat them) if it has any of those ingredients in it and bring an alternative thats safe as well in separate disposable containers (so no chance of cross contamination then or later)
I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. To lose a loved one at such a young age. As time moves on, I hope you can try to recover, even if it's hard. ❤❤❤
The rage this induces makes my blood flash vaporize and my bones sublimate.
Lol I got an allergy advert before this
I remember this story. It's probably the saddest story on Reddit, especially what the sister said
It's not mother in 'law' it's her own biological mother
This is heartbreaking, that poor woman and her poor little daughter
This hurts me, when I heard the daughter died, a tiny part inside of me also did… especially how slowly it happened, it fills me with anger and fear