What did you REALIZE once you MOVED OUT of your Parents House? - Reddit Podcast
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- čas přidán 21. 12. 2023
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MERRY CHRISTMAS!
I realized that the world won't end if I don't always keep my home spotless and perfectly organized. My mom threw tantrums if I dared to accidentally leave a spoon in the sink for more then a minute or not put a book away the second I was done with it. It's so nice not being made to feel like a lazy slob for simply existing in my apartment
I never realized how much my territorial mother was keeping us from learning how to cook. She groomed us into thinking that we were bad at it and we'd never be able to survive without her, but once she was gone, I feel like we could finally become five star chefs we were meant to be (not literally, but figuratively)! Also, I'm WAY better at budgeting than either of my parents were when they were alive.
Most mothers want you to be dependent on them. Most fathers want you to be independent. This is why the following words are said by most mothers in every country around the world, "it's ok mommy is here" or "I need to be close to my kids in case they need me". Most, not all mothers want you to always be dependent on them and they'll keep you around as long as possible and then complain to everyone how their kids constantly need them. So, this is also why they they get angry if you come home and already ate somewhere else because now you don't need them.
The failure of a parent is having adult kids that need you. The success of every parent is having adult kids that never need you.
Most parents, usually mothers, raise their kids exactly how they were raised and they become what they hate/resent.
It's all a spiritual battle.
@@Live-Life-Freely this is so true, thank you
I realized that I had developed this disdain for being told to do things that I already knew needed to be done. When I moved out, and was able to take care of these problems on my own without being told to do it even whilst doing it, alot more of my chores get done alot faster
My brothers bought me a wedding gift since I had always lived with our parents. That wedding gift was a tote filled with salt, pepper, spices, to, a mop, broom, dustpan, laundry detergent, bleach and a whole bunch of other stuff that you need when setting up house for the first time. I wrote everything they bought on the card they gave me. It was tiny writing and I almost ran out of room. Best gift ever.
First time I moved out I discovered how much easier it was for my mental health, even on the days I had to starve, I preferred it over the cage my family had kept me in.
Yup. A gilded cage is a cage all the same.
Did you feel like it is easier to breathe? I felt that and i wonder if it's just me or is it common.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one
Couple things
1: sleeping in, aka past 6am, is fine.
2: you can eat WHENEVER. Get off work at 2am, get home and want to eat? Thats fine!
3: its okay to have privacy.
4: you dont actually have to make your bed and its a lot easier to just get in when its already read for you to slide into it.
My nephews were living with me, their girlfriends were uninvited. Food hasn't gone missing, my water bill halved, gas by a third, electricity cut in half, not spending £50 a month in toilet paper, I can wash my clothes without waiting a week for the machine to be empty, my back garden isn't a moped scrapyard or filled with turds from a dog thats not even mine. That was from just ONE moving out. The other three have gone now and at 38 years old, I now finally have MY home to MYSELF.
I have no idea when my mom or grandma cleaned the sinks, tubs, toilets, etc. They just magically stayed white and spotless. The dishes were handwashed and farm chores were a thing for all of us, same with laundry. But household chores? No clue on much of it.
I was the oldest and my mother leaned heavily on me even tho she didn't work. I ran the house while she "supervised" . When I got married and moved out she found herself taking care of her own house and children. I think it was harder on her then me.
I realised just how horrible the atmosphere at my house was. Living alone I felt like i could litterally breath better. Everything was easier and i was 3x times more productive, i now have so much more money, so much less stress. And oh GOD, there is sooo much less cleaning. I can clean what i want when i want and it makes cleaning relaxing instead of torture. My parents had an idiotic rule of "you can not listen to anything whilst you do chores" and they are so wrong. I sometimes wonder how did i even endure. The longer i live on my own, the more i realise just how wrong they are about almost everything. It at times feels like they tried to make me miserable on purpose. I am glad to be away from them.
I realized that if you want anything to get done, you had to do it yourself. When the Navy told me I had ten days to get from San Diego CA to Groton, CT in ten days, I had to figure how to do it on my own.
Can relate to a lot of these.
Similar thing to note: My step-dad was abusive. Growing up it became a habit of mine to make as little noise as possible so as to not get his attention when he was doing something else. To this day I still have anxiety over setting down dishes too loud, or creaky floors, even while living alone in my own apartment. lol
I didn't realize I had this habit of quietness until I moved away, and was doing it unnecessarily. I probably always will.
Personally I got kicked out at age 17 because my mother and step father stopped getting state mandated child support checks from my real dad as soon as I graduated high school. About a month after that they moved out of state without telling me while I was at work and I found out they had somehow put my name on a bunch of their utility bills and left me holding the proverbial bag for about $1K in over due bills. So I guess the thing I learned was how to untangle screwed up finances.
I never realized how easy it was to clean a house. That it shouldn't be an all day ordeal to vacuum.
Also that it's fine to take a couple days to do some tasks.
I realized, more than ever, that my parents were uptight assholes who cared more about what their house looked like than how their kids felt.
When I got my own place, realized that making food is actually fun and I can go eat at the computer all I want. Also that no, the neighbors under me don't hear me walk.... Source, my sister lives under me
The point of eating with family is to artificially create situation to socialize. That is important for kids, so if you will have any - don't eat at the computer in their presence. As a parents you want a way to learn about their problems or dreams. It is one of those old-time things that is actually important and make sense.
@@Knuckles2761 my only kid is my cat. She does eat with me.... Why the heck did you feel the need to berate me on a non-issue?
i realized how amazing it is to be unapologetically me. i remember when i moved in with my ex and we decked out the apartment in all our collectibles, figurines, plushies, and game consoles, we displayed them all proudly throughout the apartment. having my own place made me feel like i could actually be myself
the snack food thing is a big deal, my dad would eat my snacks even if i bought them myself. i got to the point i keep them in my room. now that my mom comes over she askes if she can have some or brings her own and offers me some
When my sister moved out my dad was also moving away so we organized everything in the house and gave her what dishes/supplies our dad could re-buy while giving her the rest, helped out a lot but since her partner's parents helped as well they now have a giant box of tupperwares they can't fit anywhere else in the tiny apartment
The thing that made me happiest to realize was that holidays aren't mandatory. If I don't want to celebrate anything in winter, spring, or fall, I don't have to. I can just stay home and watch unseasonal movies for a petty, private FU to the corporations trying to shove their overpriced garbage down my throat and to the idiot droves who fall for it
Worth noting that since covid going home around the holidays involves prolonged or days long periods in our pyjamas. But wearing whatever i wanted, or not worrying about my appearance if i’m not going out that day is nice.
You can definitely save money on toilet paper by buying and using a bidet and a bit more money by investing in a toilet that uses left over water form the sink for the next flush
How much like my mom I really am. I also realized once I moved out how close my relationship with my family is. I mean like my mom and my sister and our family friends. I have a really good relationship with both of them. Also, how much money everything is. I live in a group home. because I am blind and autistic, and therefore don’t have to deal with utilities or anything like that, but sometimes I still have to deal with my own food and my own bills, which really is a pain in the butt. The group home does provide most food, but just some of the things I used to eat with my mom like snack, food, wise or breakfast food I have to purchase myself which adds up. To the person who said that online payments add up, that is absolutely correct. And like I’m saying they’re also a pain to deal with. My dad died when I was 12 so if I wanted a father figure or a dad it’s been my stepdad. I love him very very much. Same thing with my sister and my mom.
.
its very lovely to roam around the house now and enjoy every room instead of being stuck in my room. i get to actually use a living room and kitchen. its very calming
I still go out of my way to pay my bills in person, one of the few times I get to have some human interactions.
Cheap Toilet Paper... Made that mistake once. _Once._ I SWEAR it had splinters in it
Similar story here, except it felt like I was just using my hand rather than tp
15:30 ohh god the smoking one got me, the rest of my family 2 siblings and parents would smoke inside, AT THE COMPUTER! and occasionally I would accidently knock over the ashtray, I would refuse to ever clean it up because it was absolutely disgusting. getting a PC for my 12th birthday was glorious, not living with smokers even better. In my parents defence they stopped smoking inside after a while. brother and sister would try smoke inside every chance they got though
For me moving out ment dishes could be done when I want not right at that moment
Story 24:
Patrick Star: Oh boy, 3am!
I'd argue with "buy cheap bread", but then, toilet paper is probably more important and affordable good bread may not even be a thing in the US.
Honestly, I save a good amount of money making my own bread. One bad of Flour makes about 5 loaves of bread, and thats by the far the most used ingredient. It's always costly to start off, but once you have the spices you can make some really good bread for cheap in the longrun
Rent is expensive. Food is expensive. It's nice to be able to run my own schedule. It's amazing to be able to come home tired and not have to talk to anyone. It's awful to have no one to hug when I get home.
Here's a semi-positive one. My parents may have screwed up social development, and as a result my personality was immature, but as a person I was deemed mature for my age. My parents gave me 2 months to move out but they had taught me everything I needed to be on my own. When I moved out, I had a job, my own place, and was paying my own bills. It was tough for a few years but I was independent. What I found weird was that people whom I thought were mature were not only still living with their parents, but they envied me because I had my own place.
Its funny, i already live a lot of the benefits (and anti-benefits) of living alone, exept i live with my parents. And i am barely functional sometimes (most of the time i am nonfunctional and very likely, very depressed aswell).
That 1. I'm extremely tidy and 2. My entire family otherwise are slobs. My dad was actually mad at me bc after 3 months I hadn't come over to clean HIS house after I moved out.
I expected it to be a hard time with learning everything about this sort of things all on my own. I was surprised that you just have to pay the bills, then buy food and toiletries, then prepare the food and clean around after eating. That was all. Everybody was telling me it would be a difficult thing to learn. No, I would just do those things and after that I was FREE. No mom always entering. No brother to avoid. No explaining why am I doing whatever I am doing and feeling guilty for not spending my time the way they would in my place. I would go out on the midnight walks because I simply could. I could start doing so many new things I was not allowed while home...
I like the rough, cheap toilet paper. Makes me feel clean, rather than the softer, more expensive tp that just feels like it smears
I did not move out until I was almost 25 and moved into my own condo. The first time that I got an apartment I was in my late 40s so I did not have to commute 1.5 hours each way. It sucked I bought a second house closer to work where my commute was only 15 minutes each way.
Thermostat: came on late October, off on May 1st. Only once did we use in June, approximately 2 weeks of cool ,rainy weather, hour on then off. Took the chill off, worked
Happy Holidays everyone!
How much thought my Mom went into in planning the weeks dinner plans.
Dollar stores are a very good place to check when you first move out.
whats funny is im a teen and i have freedom and peace a lot of the time
1:20
If you unlock super secret mega completionist edition you can upgrade to avoiding yourself! (Don't do this.)
I want nothing more than to move out. But I want to move out of State and I feel bad if I do cause I help my mom a lot. She tells me she will be fine but it nags me so much lol. Its just me my dog and I barely have much, the largest thing I have is my bed and my tv.
I’m 26 I still live at home, I’m never moving out, I’ll be here to take care of my parents.
These stories are interesting.
Unfortunately they will... Leave eventually. I'm in my 30's and halfway through that. Things will change and you can readapt as you wish. Keep your patience.
Living by your self is so cheap. 6 days a week I eat raw vegam, just eat fruit and raw veg most of the time, no cooking needed, cook up my Sunday dinner with some fish or meat. Most of the time fish because I like fishing. ........ that's now
But when I first moved out of home 44 years ago, HOLYSHIT, I ran out of money fast.
😮😮I was a massive saver and budget keeper. so when I moved out, FREEDOM.
Home dept is no joke.
I learned that the life of a single person is extremely cheap. I could live by working just two days a week. I don't have all the financial problems that arise in families and partnerships. I don't buy bread because my partner might like it and he won't buy me the chocolate I was looking for 2 years ago, even though I don't like it anymore and therefore don't eat it out of politeness. oh and I know what was in my sponges and don't have to replace them as often as the partners who never knew what the other person did with them. For me, her single tax is a lie. I have complete control over everything and feel responsible for everything, so there are no excuses. However, after 15 years I'm still waiting for the garbage to take itself out...
I found out the outside world was safer than my Parents' home, It was less stressful I did less work as I was no longer their free maid to cook and clean for them while they only worked a normal shift. I was their slave for a decade. I rather starve and wonder if I will freeze before I ever owe those two anything slash if that crazy women will try and kill me again because I was 3 minutes late having dinner done. They still ask why I don't talk to them over a decade later.
That I was deeply suicidally depressed :
It is so nice living by myself since I finished school, come and go as you please.
Being able to buy brand name goods and eat real butter. I was raised by Boomer parents and a silent generation grandma.
The best was I could have girls over any time. If the house was nice and clean, it was easy for fun-time.
>TV license
Man, that’s some ass backwards shit
It is admittedly odd.
the game play is old
So?
I, in fact, do not want to listen to some viby music in the background.