The Misconceptions of LGBTQ : What You Need to Know

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  • čas přidán 20. 07. 2024
  • Watch the rest of this video series on LGBTQ + & mental health (featuring Dr. Ramani) HERE: bit.ly/2V9vCGW
    “It’s easy to forget the long struggle and the walk it took to get here…people don’t ruminate every single day about their coming out experience, it would be too much… but when something like this happens, it triggers and activates those stories.” - Dr. Ramani Durvasula
    There are still widespread misconceptions surrounding the LGBTQ community across the United States. Here's what you need to know about the misconceptions of LGBTQ + and how to respond to those misconceptions.
    Clinical psychologist @DoctorRamani & MedCircle host Kyle Kittleson also discuss...
    - Kyle’s personal anecdote of experiencing the misconceptions of LGBTQ
    - What it felt like for Kyle to lose someone important in his life after he came out
    - Why discrimination stemming from these misconceptions can trigger a mental health response and bring up other mental health struggles
    - How someone in the LGBT community can cope with any mental health fallout that may result from unpleasant discriminatory experiences
    - Why stigma skews the view of underprivileged groups and how to reduce that stigma by correctly understanding their realities
    And more.
    Thanks for watching our CZcams video! Check out more mental health interviews with Dr. Ramani HERE: bit.ly/3fLytO7

Komentáře • 392

  • @MedCircle
    @MedCircle  Před 4 lety +20

    Watch the rest of this video series on LGBTQ + & mental health (featuring Dr. Ramani) HERE: bit.ly/2CwPa1u

    • @GuidetteExpert
      @GuidetteExpert Před 3 lety +4

      I think we should teach kids very early what you should identify your self is trough character, morals and values.. Not skin colour or gender, status, religion, education and other silly stuff that don't matter!

    • @TheCoolWolf-kh3qf
      @TheCoolWolf-kh3qf Před 8 měsíci

      Speaking of LGBTQ +
      The Furry Fandom is a safe space for the LGBTQ + community
      I may not be LGBTQ myself but the majority of the furry fandom is LGBTQ
      You should also teach kids about furries through the most accurate source of info (Furscience)
      Search up Furscience to find out more

    • @TheCoolWolf-kh3qf
      @TheCoolWolf-kh3qf Před 8 měsíci

      Hopefully that can disperse some of the negative stereotypes people have about Furries and LGBTQIA as a whole
      (Even if only a little)

    • @twsartadventures3660
      @twsartadventures3660 Před 4 měsíci

      @@TheCoolWolf-kh3qfBeing LGBT is a negative, it's not a stereotype. It's lack of morality, lack of self-control, lack of scientific knowledge and no care for reality. It's indulging in evil, rather then seeking help.
      Stop pretending it's unjustly demonized, it's an evil practice that needs to stop.

  • @alinaigrad
    @alinaigrad Před 4 lety +425

    "Every time your existence is invalidated, it hurts."
    This gave me chills.

    • @koalaskrypin
      @koalaskrypin Před 4 lety +6

      Me too. This trancends all struggles...

    • @GamesCooky
      @GamesCooky Před 4 lety +6

      This is what emotional abuse is about. An abuser will try to convince you that your existence is pointless and that you're worthless.
      Words can be harsh when formulated in specific ways. Some dialogues seems like they are intended to really get under your skin.
      And if you let them get under your skin, then the damage is done.

    • @GuidetteExpert
      @GuidetteExpert Před 3 lety

      Its not your identity" I think your morals and values is what you are.

    • @EyeonthePrize247
      @EyeonthePrize247 Před 2 lety +5

      @@GuidetteExpert It’s not our identity, no, but for most folks in the community, we’ve been judged, ridiculed, singled/left out, picked on, discriminated against from the time we were children all because we are gay… it seems like society is the one making it our identity.
      Another thought I have is while it’s not my identity, I strongly believe being gay has shaped me into the type of person I am today. Facing adversity from the time I was an effeminate chubby child who was bullied for “being girly” certainly didn’t help my self esteem/image… when I finally realized what it meant when I was being called effeminate or gay (which I wasn’t doing purposely, that was just who I was as a kid), I made every effort to change who I was, suppress my entire being, forced interests upon myself to appear straight or masculine, etc.
      Suppressing my being so much for so long leaves you confused as an adult when you do finally come out and accept it. I don’t know who I am as a person sometimes but I do know my experiences inspired me in my current work to to help children who were disadvantaged and try to help give them a better life or experiences that I had.

    • @coffeediviner7641
      @coffeediviner7641 Před 2 lety

      I hate to say this, but I know how it feels too. Several times throughout my life I've come across such people, and the comments I've received are just unbelievable not to mention hurtful. Such as "oh you need help or you just haven't met the right girl yet, or just get married and that will fix you"! ABSOLUTE IGNORANCE!!!
      Now when I hear comments like these I know that these narcissistic individuals themselves are damaged people and I just look the other way, sigh and say "Gee I feel real sorry for you! And they're so taken back. These people are clearly living in the dark ages, you can tell. And I thought that we're living in the 21st century lol.

  • @melissamoussa5596
    @melissamoussa5596 Před 4 lety +149

    is it possible to love someone youve never met before because I LOVE HER. She so smart and compassionate and amazing wowww

    • @martialmusic
      @martialmusic Před 4 lety +6

      Yes of course you can. Your heart says you trust her.

    • @LiveFaustDieJung
      @LiveFaustDieJung Před 3 lety +7

      Same. I know this is weird, but I wish she was my Mom. 🥺

  • @unity6906
    @unity6906 Před 4 lety +272

    Before watching this, I never thought anyone assumed all gay people were molested or wanted to be the opposite sex. Wow.

    • @paulrodriguez9995
      @paulrodriguez9995 Před 4 lety +50

      Its really common, you cant even imagen in third world countries how common it is.

    • @bee4590
      @bee4590 Před 4 lety +11

      literally just came here from watching pose, and in the episode i just finished the character Blanca's brother calls her a child molester. unfortunately its really common :/

    • @HeartPiece4u
      @HeartPiece4u Před 4 lety +28

      Or they say it's a choice, and they won't back down from those beliefs.

    • @DanY-gx2dv
      @DanY-gx2dv Před 4 lety +6

      @@bee4590 Pose is such an incredible show. I highly recommend Sense8 on Netflix if you haven't seen it. Those two shows are the pinnacle of inclusion and diversity and empathy and found family.

    • @Gee-xb7rt
      @Gee-xb7rt Před 4 lety +8

      @@paulrodriguez9995 lol, you should check your local buddies that traded their country for a red hat, its not just 3rd world. my dad is a malignant narcissist and me being gay reflected off the mirror of his ego makes all his problems my fault.

  • @octoavacado4287
    @octoavacado4287 Před 4 lety +355

    She is an icon

  • @jarYiskah
    @jarYiskah Před 4 lety +57

    "That's right! I'd bake cakes." -Dr. Ramani
    I bet she puts a lot of love and care into baking those cakes. 🤗

  • @simikatra3434
    @simikatra3434 Před 4 lety +85

    I felt that, when Dr Ramini drew her breath at the start, my heart hit the pit of my stomach, I think she felt that hurt too. I really struggle with putting myself in other people's shoes, Autism. Just watching all her videos is really helping my emotional intelligence. Love to you both💖💖

  • @neilhunter3144
    @neilhunter3144 Před 4 lety +51

    I'm so glad that he addressed what an inappropriate question that couple asked him. Why do people feel the need to ask someone for such personal information and then feel entitled to an answer???

    • @Vrin137
      @Vrin137 Před 4 lety +3

      Exactly!

    • @duckypam
      @duckypam Před rokem

      To me it doesn’t sound plausible that anybody would ever ask that of a stranger. I question the story’s validity

    • @neilhunter3144
      @neilhunter3144 Před rokem +4

      @@duckypam hmmmmm.... Based on your comment, you seem very naive

    • @katejudson8907
      @katejudson8907 Před rokem +1

      @@duckypam do you live in a progressive bubble perhaps? I am living in regional Australia and I get the same but opposite gendered reactions from strangers or friends of friends regularly. Believe it.

  • @jamesr1703
    @jamesr1703 Před 4 lety +53

    I'm male and an empath. People have automatically assumed that I am gay. I was chatting once with a woman about her dog and suddenly she said, "Do you and your husband have a dog?" I was like, "husband?", but I took no offense. People need to compartmentalize people and I understand that most people don't know where to put me, so they tick the "other" box, so that they think they know how to interact with me. It's a weird world that we live in.

    • @incessantnotions
      @incessantnotions Před 3 lety +1

      I apologize for prying: could I ask what other unique or unusual moments you've experienced due being male and an empath? I don't know why your comment has really piqued my curiosity.

    • @incessantnotions
      @incessantnotions Před 2 lety +2

      @@OneFreeMan17 Sorry to hear that.. It's quite understandable that you'd feel overwhelmed. I appreciate your candor and would love to know more, though I'm not sure what to ask.

    • @284mbp
      @284mbp Před 2 lety +1

      why would you take offense? like why would you assume that it's so natural to be offended in that situation that you would need to assure us that you weren't offended? I'm gay and people always assume I'm straight. All the time, that's the first assumption (even Kyle said the couple assumed he was straight, it just happens). I never say, "I'm gay actually, but don't worry I'm not offended! Some of my best friends are straight so I don't think they're all terrible human beings!"

    • @jasonkelly2173
      @jasonkelly2173 Před 2 lety +3

      @@284mbp he's saying he wasn't offended as a lot of other guys would have been

    • @SunnyLovetts
      @SunnyLovetts Před rokem +1

      Everyone is a fucking empath. Aka intuition.

  • @dianelamorticella6053
    @dianelamorticella6053 Před 4 lety +41

    Dr Ramani, you will never be out of a job!!! And Kyle, I want to romp on those people!!! You are fantastic!! I love you!!!❤️💕❤️

    • @taramoonshadow9473
      @taramoonshadow9473 Před 4 lety +1

      Kyle, I have had similar experiences...and ... at this point in time, right or wrong...I am currently treating them as I would: gently, yet firmly and very carefully....disengaging a copperhead from under the porch... and chasing her/him away!!

  • @toniaevans490
    @toniaevans490 Před 4 lety +73

    When I came out to my little sister years ago, she told her psychiatrist about it. Her psychiatrist then asked her if I was “getting help for my problem.” My sister, who was about 15 at the time, said “My sister doesn’t have a problem.” I was never more proud of her.

    • @toniaevans490
      @toniaevans490 Před 4 lety +4

      This psychiatrist was in Rockford, IL. Dr. Uma S.

    • @sole_to_soul
      @sole_to_soul Před 3 lety +6

      You are so blessed with an awesome sister.

    • @dewilew2137
      @dewilew2137 Před 2 lety

      I hope she found a new psychiatrist. Do you know what year this was?

  • @anaserna5696
    @anaserna5696 Před 3 lety +30

    "I spent so much of my formative years counting down the days until I could be myself". No one should have to feel like that

    • @katejudson8907
      @katejudson8907 Před rokem +2

      Yep. I basically wasted my late teens to early thirties going to therapy to cope with being retraumatised by coming out and having to change jobs and move cities, each time coming out and optimistically thinking ' things will be better this time ' and trying not to blame myself for feeling like a failure, when I was in fact developing so much more resilience and self awareness than any of my straight peers.

  • @shivashakti4261
    @shivashakti4261 Před 4 lety +30

    Kyle's vulnerability make him more beautiful.

  • @cappykarma1754
    @cappykarma1754 Před 4 lety +25

    Totally boundary breaking questions to ask you, speaks volumes of them! For sure brings up triggers. I have learned to use those opportunity to expel those triggers in a positive new direction. Make note and move on from folks like those but be grateful for them and the journey.

  • @roberthughes6919
    @roberthughes6919 Před 4 lety +54

    LGBT people do suffer with depression and anxiety a lot more

    • @alfordromney2672
      @alfordromney2672 Před 4 lety +2

      no shit!

    • @tom-ss2mn
      @tom-ss2mn Před 4 lety +32

      Its not because they are gay. Its because how they are treated

    • @katechatzi1405
      @katechatzi1405 Před 4 lety +17

      Of course, we are. We are getting trashed by most people we interact with, even by the people who are supposed to love and protect us. After years of psychological and emotional abuse by the ones who were supposed to protect you and teach you to love yourself, it's difficult to build yourself up from that and it's no surprise that some people can't at all.

    • @Komraidean
      @Komraidean Před 3 lety +1

      Hop in we are going to have a adventure to find out who asked

  • @godsfollowingshadowstreams3135

    You're an awesome person Kyle dont let other people bring you down just because of your orientation! Dr Ramni you are so informative its mind blowing to me!

  • @johnoprendek2620
    @johnoprendek2620 Před 4 lety +6

    In the MedCircle videos.. it really helps that the camera goes black when you ask your questions, Kyle.. instead of disassociating, I have a chance to really listen to the questions you ask Dr. Ramani. I find that very helpful. Thank you!

  • @EllaChinois
    @EllaChinois Před 4 lety +10

    I want to give Kyle a hug. I am looking forward to the series.

  • @vincentjames7815
    @vincentjames7815 Před 3 lety +3

    My Father Son Story
    I MISS MY FATHER'S ACCEPTANCE 😢
    he affirmed me at a young age
    he showed me golf
    he was a great golfer
    I watched him light up when he played
    he appreciated my plan to be dancer
    The story goes
    he and a group of his friends
    they were talking sports
    before the question came up
    He mentioned
    my son does not want to play ball
    He wants to be a dancer
    That love and support that day
    has carried me helped me
    better appreciate myself
    Saving me from many years of self doubt

  • @KakumeiNHi
    @KakumeiNHi Před 4 lety +24

    The timing of this....I have had something very similiar happen to me just last week. I however was one to immediately get angry, I was just so fed up with it. Similiar to how some people assume gay men must have been e.g. molested, they also assume that lesbians e.g. "just haven't had proper good sex with a men" and usually that assumption is followed by a look and expressions of pity. It is so so hard to have somebody deny your whole being like that and I felt my own and Kyle's pain the moment he told his story.

    • @katejudson8907
      @katejudson8907 Před rokem +2

      I hear you. The other thing that used to infuriate me is going to a friend's BBQ or casual party and being the only lesbian there all the women with male partners would either fiercely ' guard' their husbands from being friendly with you, as if you're a threat. Or else the other thing these women do, instead of being socially appropriate , they will latch onto you to want to try out some lesbian porn fantasy with you. Either way it's ALL about them and their straight projections of lesbian porn, you can't just talk about the weather or restaurants or your job, it has to be sexualized. It's so marginalising.

    • @roronoazoro3634
      @roronoazoro3634 Před rokem

      😔😔

  • @jamesr1703
    @jamesr1703 Před 4 lety +5

    That's scary that they responded in such a way, but it was a significant teaching opportunity for you and I'm sure they left better informed.

  • @madalinai4604
    @madalinai4604 Před 4 lety +7

    people are people and we should love them just the way they are as long as no one harms anyone intentionally

  • @shalacarter6658
    @shalacarter6658 Před 4 lety +24

    Thanks so much for this video and the series. All of my children are Bi and they were all worried what I would think. I was like, "okay." I have plenty of things to worry about my children without worrying who they are sleeping with. Wait, nope, I worry about that, too. :) But, not because of their sexual identity. smh

    • @Bojan_V
      @Bojan_V Před 3 lety +1

      You're such a wonderful person☺️.

    • @dewilew2137
      @dewilew2137 Před 2 lety

      Honestly, That’s pretty unlikely from a biological standpoint, but I guess anything is possible. Sexual orientation is determined in utero, but it’s very unlikely to have three non-heterosexual children...unless they are triplets. Same womb, same androgen exposure.

  • @natashavernon9828
    @natashavernon9828 Před 4 lety +13

    She is such a freaking good listener!!!

  • @johnoprendek2620
    @johnoprendek2620 Před 4 lety +30

    Being bisexual and a transgender being, among other things..deep down I always wanted to be female. I accept my body mostly for what it is now. It is terrible to have even a grain of sand of worry when wearing a dress and makeup. Thank you for all your support. It is given as well as recieved

    • @johnoprendek2620
      @johnoprendek2620 Před 4 lety +5

      I identify as transgender. I have a male body and am female within that. I dress both in male clothes and female clothes... though I wear female clothes less often I would define myself as transitioning from maleness.. I don't consider myself a cross dresser or transvestite. I would not surgically alter myself at this point. I think I described this aptly I'll have to ask a friend to make sure. Thank you for shining light on this topic

    • @shalacarter6658
      @shalacarter6658 Před 4 lety +1

      @@johnoprendek2620 Hey, you do you! :) Most of the kids I know are FTM. I don't know how old you are; but you might also like #jammiedodger. He is trans and has had full surgery. He's a great person. His fiancee, Shahba, is as well.

    • @mudokonslig9205
      @mudokonslig9205 Před 4 lety +4

      Wearing a dress and putting make up on have nothing to do with being a girl.

    • @johnoprendek2620
      @johnoprendek2620 Před 3 lety +1

      What I realize is that I would be defined as a gender fluid person

    • @haziq0007
      @haziq0007 Před 2 lety +1

      God created you that way no need to change it

  • @texasmurphy7088
    @texasmurphy7088 Před 2 lety +3

    I grew up in evangelical Xtianity and this mindset - that LGBTQA people only end up being who we are because we were molested, that being gay means we want to be a man/woman, and a litany of other inappropriate things - is what they teach constantly. I grew up with a narcissistic mother for whom religion was an amplifier and learned to hate myself because I couldn't live up to the demands of that religion. What's more, I was taught that there are levels of being LGBTQA that are worse than the others. That's how I ended up coming out as a lesbian and tried to force that on myself for over a decade before I learned to accept the fact that I'm trans - then go see a doctor and get the treatment I needed. It's still a work in progress and it makes me angry when I hear people still have no issue asking random strangers extremely inappropriate questions about themselves as if they have any right or understanding about who or what we are. I'm sorry.

  • @sylviaoesterwinter8858
    @sylviaoesterwinter8858 Před 4 lety +8

    Dr. Ramani is amazing and has given me my life back in two months of just CZcams videos and two quick emails to her office. Thank you so much.

  • @Hinatafan4ever666
    @Hinatafan4ever666 Před 4 lety +6

    The ending made me cry.
    Thank you for sharing this.

  • @shewetdemowez9061
    @shewetdemowez9061 Před 4 lety +6

    We appreciate the openness and transparency in this conversation. Thank you two.

  • @saracroft2589
    @saracroft2589 Před 4 lety +3

    I’m vegetarian since 19? Years long, doctors lost their whole interest in making medical blood tests for my case but there are still people who truly believe I need to be “cured” 😕

  • @hailbaphomet
    @hailbaphomet Před 4 lety +6

    People like Dr. Ramani are so hard to find where I live. Granted, nobody can ever quite be Ramani except Ramani, however the point stands. If we ever get to the point where we can clone entire humans the first person we will clone is Ramani. And just more Ramani. After that more Ramani. Until hooman es Ramani pls.

  • @kdsewell01
    @kdsewell01 Před 3 lety +5

    Thank you both so much! I love Dr. Ramani and Kyle, appreciate your vulnerability and you're willingness to use your story to help others.

  • @lizvtaz6
    @lizvtaz6 Před 4 lety +3

    I grew up with a pretty homophobic narc mother. I still remember all the homophobic stuff she said. But I have to say that being reminded of the shit she told me did not trigger me for a very long time. But after I fully realized that she never loved me in the first place and all her love was conditional I also realised that her homophobia was not driven by ignorance. She was homophobic because she needed a group to discriminate against, because that would make her feel better about herself. And this is when I lost all toleranse for homophobic people, I will almost certainly yell at somebody who says homophobic stuff (unless at work) and I generally am really aggressive and not sorry for it when it comes to LGBT issues. I am a lesbian, 26 y.o.

  • @carlosvalle2387
    @carlosvalle2387 Před 4 lety +18

    Dr. Ramani is BE👏YOND👏. We love her!😍

  • @roar6047
    @roar6047 Před 4 lety +2

    100% Kyle the comment of counting down until you could be yourself. I dreamed of it pretty much every day since I was 12 until I moved across the country to California and came out to my parents after graduation. I finally feel fully free to be myself and am beginning my life.

  • @Mtz2604
    @Mtz2604 Před 3 lety

    I admire so much the professionalism and knowledge Dr. Ramani has, is a delight to listening her. I'm subscribed to her channel, even when her specialty is NPD and I don't have it, not even in a relationship of any degree with a person with NPD, but the way she shares her knowledge with a humble attitude and clear concepts for all types of people shows me the kind of mental health professional she is.
    I would love a podcast listening to her telling her experiences in the mental health field.

  • @misse2013
    @misse2013 Před 4 lety +6

    This was absolutely beautiful and SO NEEDED!!! I hope this video will be shared and viewed by those who have misconceptions and that it will change the minds of those who need it!

  • @MegJuniper
    @MegJuniper Před 4 lety +11

    Happy pride, friends ❤️❤️❤️

  • @Etobicoke67
    @Etobicoke67 Před rokem +2

    I can identify with this way of invalidating who I am and my identity. Jews have been invalidated by the 2 religions which became the most dominant religions in the world and promote Jews at best as stubborn for not following their religions or at worst following "your Father the devil". I won't validate their religions by mentioning them. If people are knowledgeable they will know which religions I am referring to. I suspect the people referred to in this video belong to one of those religions. Ironicaly, I was abused in all ways by my late dad and it confused what sex was for me. Now I realize that attraction is not the same as sex and that adults are able to be intimate sexually because they knew non sexual and loving intimacy as a child. I was told by family and psychologists that I was gay rather than support me dealing with the trauma of the abuse which is generational. It was a lesser taboo to say I was gay than support me and address the family abuse passed down. The buck stops with me and pre-judging or labelling people in any way in order to make me feel better, as society tends to do in all ways, is an anathema to me. I liked Kyle's interview with Encina and Minnie with D.I.D. encourages me to deal with my D.I.D. and not be shamed into hiding that.

  • @mariogoldenuniverse
    @mariogoldenuniverse Před 4 lety +3

    Love Dr. Ramani, and Kyle, how very nice that you came out on this video.

  • @Dizzybee123
    @Dizzybee123 Před 4 lety

    Thanks for sharing your story like this with dr ramani, shes wonderful and your story has given a lot of insight. Thank you for continuing making videos for the community on this channel. I have personally benefited from the information you have given throughout the series. THANK YOU AGAIN and GOOD JOB!

  • @ognjenrad4905
    @ognjenrad4905 Před 4 lety +6

    lol @7:45 you see the dog in the background for a few moments. So adorable

  • @barrilha
    @barrilha Před 3 lety

    Dr Ramani is not only a great therapist but also a great teacher! Always a learning experience to listening her talk.

  • @nonywrites
    @nonywrites Před 5 měsíci

    Today I had a girl at school tell me that being queer isn’t a choice, but that it was a choice to “get out of it”. She told me she was able to free herself of homosexuality and a bunch of similar things that made have a panic attack moments after the conversation. I didn’t know why I felt so triggered and why her words even got to me, but this video truly made me realize that I wasn’t used to hearing homophobic opinions from anyone besides my parents. It’s not about me being weak, it’s about everything I’ve gone through to get to today, and the fact that her words reminded me of the dark side of the journey.

  • @rfeyman3682
    @rfeyman3682 Před 4 lety +24

    "The traumas that group faced." That hit me hard. After my first couple of transgender only support meetings, I was terrified about my future. The number of people with stories about going from a prized employee (winning awards, employee of the month, year, top sales person) to unemployed. Things are getting better but we have a long way to go.

    • @dewilew2137
      @dewilew2137 Před 2 lety

      🙄

    • @dewilew2137
      @dewilew2137 Před 2 lety

      Strange that there’s transgender only support groups, but anything that is “female only”, even PREGNANCY GROUPS, or MENSTRUATION INFORMATION GROUPS for young teens is considered “transphobic”. Facebook and other sites shut down anything that calls itself “female only”, even if the subject has nothing to do with males. It’s absurd and misogynistic, but no one cares.

  • @Auroradiluculum
    @Auroradiluculum Před 2 lety +1

    "Let that person know that you still love them." That says it all Kyle...that says it all. ❤

    • @katejudson8907
      @katejudson8907 Před rokem

      Yeah, but wouldn't it be nice to also have them show some solidarity in action? I am a bit sick and tired of straight friends claiming to be LGBTQ allies when there's a positive campaign trending among the general population, but the rest of the time they remain so ignorant and then offer ' hugs' or love when I am really feeling the lack of access to the kind of lives they take for granted. These days I don't want just love and charity, I need solidarity. And I need them to see that I hold so much more courage and strength for surviving this than they can know.

  • @haisesasaki3944
    @haisesasaki3944 Před 4 lety +2

    I'm so happy that you covered this topic. Dr.Ramani ❤ I wish there were more people like you.

  • @tracicauchi7819
    @tracicauchi7819 Před 4 lety +3

    Love you, Kyle!!!! Keep doing you! I love your curiosity in life (I’m the same way; that’s what makes you an incredible interviewer!) and your ability open up to the public even if it’s not what was in your plan❤️😘 F$!k those haters- Don’t let them influence you! Your an amazing person and you’re doing big things while helping millions of people along the way... And, Dr.Ramani, I’m also in love with you (not for the actual stage-one, honeymoon phase.. just in an enthusiastic, love-your-mojo kinda way) your knowledge and what you do to help people, SO MUCH❤️ Kyle, do NOT take the haters so personally; they have their own issues that they’ll probably never going to be content with (unfortunately).❤️❤️❤️👏🏼

  • @bitchenboutique6953
    @bitchenboutique6953 Před 4 lety +5

    A great and important discussion. Looking forward to the rest of the series!

  • @mathieulindsay8156
    @mathieulindsay8156 Před 4 lety +19

    She's one of my favorite people on earth

  • @dk1828
    @dk1828 Před 4 lety +21

    Thank you so much for bringing awareness to the LGBT + community 🙏💜

  • @LightintheDark2056
    @LightintheDark2056 Před 2 lety +4

    This story reminded me why I've been so traumatized in my life. I've tried to hide the fact that I'm gay from fear of disownment by family and I've watched gay family members get scapegoated and accused of being pedophiles just because they are gay and they were afraid that their own children would become gay just by having us around them.

  • @radicalauthenticity316
    @radicalauthenticity316 Před 4 lety +5

    Well done, Dr. Ramani and Dr. Kyle, love you guys!!!

  • @alicianieto2822
    @alicianieto2822 Před 4 lety +16

    "so when were you molested" That is almost epic. Dude, even if you firmly believe that is why the person is gay, how on Earth do you decide that asking this okay??? Especially if you indeed think that they indeed were molested !

    • @katejudson8907
      @katejudson8907 Před rokem +3

      Unfortunately it is not epic, it is quite common. And for lesbians like me it is both ' who molested you? ' and ' you just haven't had the right fuck from a man yet', often followed by an uninvited offer of corrective sex. If you live or travel outside of a progressive bubble you will find this is all too common. And yes, very triggering.

  • @coffeediviner7641
    @coffeediviner7641 Před 2 lety +1

    It's uncanny, when Kyle spoke of statistics in relation to coming out ages for Gay men, as I came out at 26! And deep down felt the same way. If I make it to then, then I've made it.

  • @nyinyibito1757
    @nyinyibito1757 Před 4 lety +6

    Dr Raman looks very cute here. I like her body language when she's talking 👌🏿

  • @LyndseyMacPherson
    @LyndseyMacPherson Před 3 lety

    Dr. Ramani nails it perfectly: Love.
    Love =/= judgement Love = compassion, acceptance and respect--even in the absence of understanding.

  • @archetypalmuse
    @archetypalmuse Před 4 lety +5

    I appreciated this interaction so so much, you two are truly amazing. Dr. Ramani is such a skilled therapist and Kyle you are such an empathetic and introspective person.

  • @builderindustrial
    @builderindustrial Před 4 lety +4

    Lesbians, Gay, Bisexual, heterosexual we are human THAT IS IT.
    Stop maximizing discrimination and show that this is the normal choice of each individual

  • @PhoenixtheII
    @PhoenixtheII Před 4 lety +9

    I wonder what people are really thinking of a transwoman, asexual, grey-romantic, autistic with persistent depression, ptsd, anxiety, with AvPD and BPD...
    Well, I can tell you how it feels though, I don't want to be part of this world. It's hostile, full of people harming one another... :(

    • @bitchenboutique6953
      @bitchenboutique6953 Před 4 lety +2

      But there are also people like you, who would NEVER be so heartless. And the world is so much better and more vibrant with you in it. 💕

    • @hailbaphomet
      @hailbaphomet Před 4 lety +1

      @@bitchenboutique6953 Damn I feel the love. It breaks me to know that most of the best people feel like leaving this world and the dreadful have no qualms of staying. The ultimate cosmic "fuck you".

    • @lizvtaz6
      @lizvtaz6 Před 4 lety

      Everything is completely fine with me except for BPD. If in therapy BPD might be ok but if not in therapy... No. The rest is fine, you are pretty different but so am I.

  • @warholcow
    @warholcow Před 4 lety +4

    Love videos with you both. Thanks for the openness and vulnerability.

  • @aro40
    @aro40 Před 3 měsíci

    The expectations and assumptions most people make are the challenges I have faced my entire life. People usually talk to me in a certain way until they are aware of my sexuality, which is not a secret. However, they change their behaviour the moment they know I am gay. Their first assumptions are swapped by stereotypical ideas that do not represent me at all. Therefore, I have to push them back to where they first were as that place is closer to the person I am.

  • @jenavelez3003
    @jenavelez3003 Před 3 lety +2

    I want you to know the same happened to me. My very best friend quit being my friend once she found God. I’m sorry you went through that

  • @peterjonesdelacruz
    @peterjonesdelacruz Před 4 lety +4

    Dr. Ramani is slaying with those boots!

  • @russellsansom1673
    @russellsansom1673 Před 4 lety +15

    Thank you for this video. 🏳️‍🌈

  • @Rodrigospatotas87
    @Rodrigospatotas87 Před 3 lety +1

    You two are incredible! I am learning a lot. I can’t thank you two enough.

  • @mathchurch7599
    @mathchurch7599 Před 4 lety +2

    Thank you for doing this video and thank you Kyle for sharing your story. Sending you love.

  • @user-we7go7ed3l
    @user-we7go7ed3l Před 3 lety +2

    I somehow knew he was gay before this coming out lol. Congrats Kyle. You're an amazing gem in this world helping us all along with Dr Ramani. You both educate a lot of people.

  • @vanuza222
    @vanuza222 Před 4 lety +1

    Great conversation=very educational... I love you both because you make a great team🙏🏼❤️

  • @ericshiel
    @ericshiel Před 2 lety +5

    We need to protect Dr. Ramani at all costs, a precious human being.

  • @TT-ug4rc
    @TT-ug4rc Před 4 lety +2

    Thank you Kyle and Dr Ramani ❤️

  • @JenR1215
    @JenR1215 Před 4 lety +10

    i honestly feel i would come unleashed, if i told someone about my gf and they asked about my sexual abuse.

    • @theeunuchpreacher3357
      @theeunuchpreacher3357 Před 29 dny

      Why would you come unleashed? Why not just ask them (in a polite, courteous manner), when were THEY abused, and HOW were they were abused? Then you could say immediately after that (before they respond), "Because many straight people have been molested too, so when were YOU molested"? I mean, why come unleashed? What REAL GOOD does that even do for everybody concerned? It doesn't ANY GOOD at all. If any thing, it could potentually raise your blood pressure. And that's on you for becoming "unleashed", as you call it. And really, think about it deep down in your heart, and I'm sure that you know that becoming unleashed does not accomplish anything of any real value. May the LORD JESUS CHRIST BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU IN HIS CARE. Love in CHRIST, Pastor J.W. Brand (the eunuch preacher).

  • @jackjames3190
    @jackjames3190 Před 6 měsíci

    Growing up secretly gay in a catholic and homophobic environment has caused me to have complex-ptsd
    Now years later I’m looking for a short simple video that explains this so I can show it to my parents - but all the videos I find mention sexual abuse - I wasn’t sexually abused - my ‘abuse’ came as a result of neglect - my parents loved me but they didn’t provide room for me in case I might be gay and so when I heard negative comments about gay people I took it personally that they were taking about me - so the love they gave me I did not receive - “they won’t love me if they knew the real me” so I’ve been alone since the age of 11 and my parents STILL don’t understand and I wish someone would just make a video about how growing up secretly gay and therefore being neglected (not sexually abused) causes c-ptsd

  • @ronster977
    @ronster977 Před 4 lety +4

    I had a random question come up a short while ago; if I found out my mate was gay, would I still be their friend?. I answered, so long as they knew that I am not and never confused that, we'd be fine. Or something like that, I don't remember exactly. I then wondered if that was an ignorant, cliché thing to say, afterwards.
    This video opened my eyes a bit, regarding this.
    I still don't know why it came up but this was interesting, none the less.
    Thank you.

    • @MegJuniper
      @MegJuniper Před 4 lety +3

      Yeah I think it’s important if the hypothetical questions like that are brought up, to express that having a friend come out would change absolutely nothing about the friendship except the fact that obviously you’ve become closer as friends Bc profoundly personal info has been entrusted to you. Also it’s always good to say, “thank you so much for sharing this with me” if someone does come out to you. XX

    • @ronster977
      @ronster977 Před 4 lety

      @@MegJuniper Thanks for your input. I'll keep that in mind, incase it comes up again. Thanks for helping me to think more responsibly.👍

    • @MegJuniper
      @MegJuniper Před 4 lety +1

      Ron Arnold xx

    • @lizvtaz6
      @lizvtaz6 Před 4 lety

      @@MegJuniper No! Please don't do the "thank you for sharing"! This is insulting. You can say "Why did not you tell me before" or "Wow! I did not know" or something like this. But do not praise people for telling you that they are gay. It destroys the relationship. It maked your lgbt friend feel as if you think that they told you about something really shamefull and difficult. Typically people avoid telling their friends not because they are afraid of their reaction but because they do not want this to be a big deal. They do not want a "oh, so you are different you must have suffered like hell, I am so sorry that happend to you" type of a conversation to ever take place between them and their friend. It so happends that if you are not lgbt you cannot understand the exact type of suffering that lgbt people go through so for you to talk about this suffering is completely unnecessary. If somebody tells you they are lgbt+ idially you should not react at all. I understand that "thank you for sharing" is coming from a good place but please don't.

    • @MegJuniper
      @MegJuniper Před 4 lety +1

      Еlizаvеta Z I’m not insulted when people tell me “thanks for sharing!” I appreciate it, which is why I suggested it be nice to say. Agree to disagree!

  • @addictionandspiritpossessi523

    I don't know if this helps or not, but the worlds leaders are both sexes. Jesus was both sexes. Many, many people famous or otherwise are both sexes, or gay, or transgender.
    This is God's game of life, folks. People are not supposed to Judge. Don't be surprised that everyone on the planet be judged by a transgender person. There are certain things we were asked to follow. If you or I want to exist on this planet, we were asked to follow the rules. Then he says,
    "The only way to be saved is through my Son, Jesus Christ." Every single thing that was ever written is all for purpose. All of the religions are apart of the puzzle. All the different beliefs of spirituality are pieces of the puzzle.
    Personally? I love gay people. I think I am more like them, then I am like anyone else. I love the energy, the creativity, the inspiration, etc. So many attributes about positive everything. The only thing that isn't positive about being gay, is being aware of the pain that these people have faced in this God Forsaken world.
    Seriously, DO PEOPLE ACTUALLY BELIEVE GOD MADE A MISTAKE?
    WAKE UP, PEOPLE?
    Love to all, Sincerely,
    Soul Survivor

  • @timothyhirman4928
    @timothyhirman4928 Před 4 lety +9

    Wow. Sorry Kyle. Sounds like a couple of Trump supporters. You're a cool guy. You didn't deserve that.

    • @theeunuchpreacher3357
      @theeunuchpreacher3357 Před 29 dny

      I'm not a Democrat, and I wouldn't just ASSUME that a person was molested just because they were same-sex attracted. Because many straight people were molested. Just because someone is same-sex attracted does not automatically mean that they were molested. I have heard of other people who call themselves gay, that did NOT get molested, AND they had a GREAT, LOVING father in the home. So why woukd you immediately assume that they were a "Trump supporter"? There are even other people who call themselves gay that support Trump too. So your doing the SAME EXACT THING THAT YOU SAY THEY ARE DOING, but your doing it in a different way! And you know what I am saying is TRUE! And NO, I am not a Trump supporter, or a Biden supporer! I do NOT support any of them! There is NOBODY in this world's governmental system, that is TRULY SAVED, SANCTIFIED, AND BAPTIZED WITH THAT HOLY GHOST AND FIRE! NO SIR! NOT AT ALL! But it is INTERESTING that you IMMEDIATELY JUMPED TO THE CONCLUSION that that person was a Trump supporter. So what difference does it make if they're a supporter of Trump? As oppossed to say, you know, someone who supports murdering innocent babies in their mother's womb? Anyway, MAY THE LORD BLESS YOUR DAY! Love in CHRIST JESUS, Pastor J.W. Brand (the eunuch preacher).

  • @marycoan976
    @marycoan976 Před 4 lety +2

    ty for such insight dr ramai. u are truly a great dr,

  • @brendanrobinson2603
    @brendanrobinson2603 Před 3 lety

    Kyle, really appreciated your vulnerable honesty.

  • @AlbertAlereon
    @AlbertAlereon Před 4 lety +4

    Religious fanaticism in USA? Shocking. But it is the greatest country in the world 🙄

  • @drppr76
    @drppr76 Před 4 lety +3

    Dr Ramani and Kyle - stay cool✌️

  • @malini2020
    @malini2020 Před 4 lety +6

    Shoutout to Dr. Ramani’s eyes to the comments you received from the airport couple.

  • @tessakrumpeltree9563
    @tessakrumpeltree9563 Před 4 lety

    If only we could clone Dr. Ramini, we could all be happy. “Ignorance and Insensitivity” on the part of professionals, are bizarre. I’m a professor who had to retire 2years ago after a “neurological event.” I’m stuck in a nursing home, a lesbian whose virtual marriage isn’t holding up, I’ve had BPD all my life, and psych department refuses to see me or prescribe. Rejection. Pain management never got past Tylenol. I have no family and I’m so unhappy I’m scaring myself. I’m 71 and I’m on the “predominantly dementia” floor but I’d like to have a few years to myself. But if there’s nobody to claim me, there’s no way to get out. Thanks for enlightening me and others. Karen

  • @FrancesShear
    @FrancesShear Před 4 lety +1

    When the truth about a situation and the possibility of it happening to them again or to them too that is too awful for anyone to accept without feeling a lot of negative feelings about that situation. Many bystanders have a tendency to try and explain it away only in order to regain their own sense of personal safety in wanting to think well that could never happen to me and to let themselves off the hook about having to help in any way or to be just a friend. Like for example the fact that some people in a couples world are just not made for marriage right from birth or after they became permanent maimed in their body from an injury and/or disease and as it turns out there is only nominal solutions to correct it and so they are always going to be for the rest of their life struggling to maintain healthy sexuality in their lves in a way that is meaningful. Since a lot of adults believe they are automatic entitled to sexual activity in their life whenever they have found someone consenting and after they say I do for the standard 3 times per week average no matter what and since far too many adults cannot imagine how they could live any different than that without feeling very unhappy they like to explain it away in illilogical and unreasonable ways.

  • @normalone0884
    @normalone0884 Před rokem +1

    Im currently dealing with assumptions like that from my mother. And the worst part was that I do have ave a history with being molested. But she isn't being mean, she is just truly ignorant and trying tk understand but I havent known how to explain it

  • @mariastevens6406
    @mariastevens6406 Před 3 lety +3

    I love how she had to take a breath on the couple's first question. She's an amazing soul.

    • @mariastevens6406
      @mariastevens6406 Před 2 lety

      @@luciddreams5200 or maybe she's not tolerant of bigots and refuses to defend them like you just did, while attacking her character? Just a thought. Also, I find it funny that you didn't say exactly which video or provide a link so I could check your source.

    • @mariastevens6406
      @mariastevens6406 Před 2 lety

      @@luciddreams5200 save the wall of text. You said she mocked a physical disability. Show me where. In regard to narcissistic personality disorder, her entire channel centers around how freaking evil they are. Move along.

  • @okumangodfreyemmanuel7615

    I just feel extremely calm and so at peace after watching this video. I just had free therapy for a couple of minutes.

  • @84Elenai
    @84Elenai Před 3 lety +3

    The person I am in love with just told me they are transgender (male to female) and that they are thinking of going forward within the process.
    Gender studies were my favorite lecture at university, I have always felt incredibly and spontaneously supportive of the LGBT community, and I have also changed my life to live in a much more open-minded country because I hated the closed-minded structure of my home country. But since the strong romantic implications between this person and myself, learning how they felt just broke my heart.
    I have always considere myself an open minded person, even if I come from a country that it is stuck in the thirties, immersed in old school stereotypes and stigma, but in this case I just snapped and had a mental crisis: not only my depression came back after years and years of complete stability and hit hard, but I also started to talk to this person with a horrible J. K. Rowling tone.
    "Why would you do this at this age, why would you go back to being bullied like you were as a child, why would you think about it when you got already everything you need to be happy?". This was my reaction, the most disappointing, stupid and uncaring I could have had. I even thought "Sure... Of course, men just cannot stop: they want everything for themselves, they can't just stop wanting things and take them from us. Now, even this one", like that was a bloody whim from his part. I became the shi*tiest person on earth and they were so hurt that they were re-evaluating what to do (and sadly and scaringly changing their mind).
    I am heartbroken thinking of the consequences of my reaction and I don't know how to fix the damage I made. I don't want to be with a person who is not truly who they are, I also know that I am not a lesbian. But I feel like I destroyed their confidence completely and their only chances of achieving what they wanted. I feel so shit*y right now that I just stopped doing everything: I can't work, i can't live, it's just pure suffering.
    Now I understand that the reason why I was heartbroken was because I wanted to get married to this person, and have children with them and live my dream-life that included them being part of those dreams as I knew them. I felt like I was in the perfect relationship and someone, the person I loved, ruined that for me.
    I wasn't heartbroken because of the news, but because they broke my dreams, they made them impossible to be realized.
    So many people neglecting other people realities are going through the same, I reckon. I have no idea.
    I don't have a happy ending to this, I just wanted to open up and maybe provide my experience with the topic. I would love to receive your comments about your own experience and your options, or if you have any suggestions, it would be great to hear from you.
    Thanks to Kyle and the amazing doctors for this wonderful series videos. I am loving every second of it and you are helping me immensely.
    Take care, all of you.

    • @sole_to_soul
      @sole_to_soul Před 3 lety +1

      Sorry you went through that. Please forgive yourself because your response was normal. If your partner suddenly sprung that news on you that was unkind and inconsiderate of them. Surely they knew how you felt about them and what your hopes were if they were presenting as a straight male from the start of your relationship? How did they think their announcement would make you feel?

    • @jadebrantley53
      @jadebrantley53 Před 2 lety

      I know that couldn’t have been easy but as a trans woman myself i can say it is 100x harder to have grown up in the wrong body, hating yourself and not knowing why, to have to lie to everyone around you even yourself, it’s terrifying to accept yourself in that situation, and all i hear from you is all about you, how it affected you, how hard it is for you, and thats valid, but i guarantee she went through far worse hell. And it hurt her just as well to have the impossible choice of relationship or accepting who you are. Never seemed to once even think about that:/

  • @TheRand20
    @TheRand20 Před 4 lety +9

    what a therapist wow!! I love her

  • @centraleexamen5759
    @centraleexamen5759 Před 2 lety +1

    Some gays were molested, more so women then men.
    But this was such a hurtfull and inappropiate issue to talk about. Meaning the couple that talked to this openly gay men.
    Human behavior is being influenced by many factors I'm sorry that sometimes go through what this man went through

  • @apm77
    @apm77 Před rokem

    1:15 - "I was very taken aback" ... oh yeah, that's one way of putting it. 🔥🔥🔥😬😬😬

  • @usmanarif2215
    @usmanarif2215 Před 2 lety

    Love you Kyle .. thank you for sharing your personal stories and views

  • @musicbeast_
    @musicbeast_ Před 3 lety +1

    I consider it completely irresponsible that public schools offer sex education but no systematic guidance to adolescent girls, who should be thinking about how they want to structure their future lives: do they want children, and if so, when should that be scheduled, with the advantages and disadvantages of each option laid out. Because of the stubborn biological burden of pregnancy and childbirth, these are issues that will always affect women more profoundly than men. Starting a family early has its price for an ambitions young woman, a career hiatus that may be difficult to overcome. On the other hand, the reward of being with one's children in their formative years, instead of farming out that fleeting and irreplaceable experience to day care centres or nannies, has an inherent emotional and perhaps spiritual value that has been lamentable ignored by second-wave feminism.

  • @carinawoodmansee9699
    @carinawoodmansee9699 Před 4 lety +3

    This was beautiful ❤️

  • @lukapesun
    @lukapesun Před 3 lety +2

    12:15 dr.Ramani "That's right, I'd bake cakes." 12:15

  • @jebule1
    @jebule1 Před 4 lety +1

    Thank you for your videos - I very much appreciate your style, abilities, love for helping people and warmth. I was also horrified by the question you were asked in a casual conversation by strangers - what an inappropriate question to ask. However, there are a lot of people who believe (based on religion or otherwise) that 'God' made sex exclusive for a man and woman in marriage, and to live otherwise is actually really unhealthy/bad for the individual doing so. They believe 'caring' for someone would be to help them 'out of the life-style,' and get to know God.
    Could you address the 'God' issue in regards to sexual expression (or even other issues based in religion(s)) in an upcoming video?

    • @KyleKittleson
      @KyleKittleson Před 4 lety

      We actually discuss that in the series. You can watch that full series and others when you start your free trial at watch.medcircle.com.

  • @belovedchild9812
    @belovedchild9812 Před 4 lety +4

    Love, Love, Love her!

  • @guylamullins3602
    @guylamullins3602 Před 4 lety +1

    When you tell people you’re non sexual it’s worse.

  • @jared3370
    @jared3370 Před 2 lety

    The fact that there are still people out there so ignorant and judgemental about LGBTQ people just infuriates me. I'm glad videos like this are here to help bridge more levels of understandings

    • @zerosoma33
      @zerosoma33 Před rokem +1

      There aren’t. His story is false.

  • @legendary2173
    @legendary2173 Před rokem

    Can someone explain, what connecting dots mean?

  • @ellesandy2398
    @ellesandy2398 Před 2 lety

    Even within the LGBTQ community, being bisexual and monogamous is hard to explain. I am a cisgender female monogamous bisexual. Because I have been married to a cisgender straight man, people (even lesbians) think I have "made a choice" and am straight. I think it confuses people, as if when I became married to a straight man and didn't have a lesbian lover at the same time, I suddenly became straight! I didn't, and I am actually not interested in a relationship with a man, except as a friend. But men seem to have difficulty processing that idea. For that matter, so do women.
    Of course, I have come to the conclusion that I am happy being single, so it doesn't cause me distress, but it is frustrating!