Divorce in the Church? W/ Fr. Ryan
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- čas přidán 26. 08. 2024
- I talk with Fr. Ryan about diocesan life and the in and outs of annulments and legally separated Catholics.
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What do you think, gang? Do we in the Church overlook those who have been divorced? How can we better love and serve them?
Matt Fradd good to hear this type of content! It affects many Catholics I know
I don’t think the church overlooks those who have been divorced, but how many saints do we have that got annulments? How many good examples do we have in our lives of marriage and how many good examples do we have of justified annulments? Hard to figure out when’s the time for sticking it out with the same person and when to leave the situation, especially in an age where everyone is so emotional and are taught to give up and walk away when the going gets tough because there’s always someone or something better.
It has been my experience that marriages are only presumed valid in theory. In practice it seems as though "it's probably not valid anyway" is the normal thing to hear even from priests... It should not be so. The Church must uphold her teaching on marriage, which is from God. Permanence is not a burden but a good, an essential good of marriage. Can the Church help people to see this again? Please? It seems to have been lost... we are a society of people who want the option to go back on our choices if they don't turn out the way we planned. Where is the space for God's grace? It seems to me that more often than not that we reject it. We are a self-centered society. We want things our way, not God's way. Divorce is an ugly reflection of that. It IS possible to remain faithful until death. EVEN IF the other person doesn't. Even if they leave! Even if your heart seems broken beyond repair (in this life, at least). There is nothing that God's grace cannot accomplish in us.
I also think it's important to note that an annulment adds further trauma to children conceived within that marriage. The Church should be encouraging reconciliation where possible, and convalidation. Not annulments.
To say the church overlooks those who have been divorced is to say Jesus "overlooked" them when he condemns the practice clearly in the gospels.
"Lot's of choices isn't freeing." As a college student trying to figure out what to do with my life, this struck a chord with me.
That line!!!! « Obedience is freeing » how beautiful and wonderful!!! Recently went to Mass and the Bishop’s homily was all about how obedience not important and contrary to holiness, I wanted to jump up and yell no you are wrong but I didn’t have the words. Please pray for him! This was not even the beginning of issues at that mass.
I read a book recently entitled "Sacred Marriage: What if marriage was meant to make you holy more than happy?" - It was written by a Baptist and this is what we need to hear more from our Catholic priests. Too many people enter "marriage" thinking they should then be happy, happy, happy all the time and it doesn't work that way for anybody. Life is hard. Marriage is meant to create sacred history. There's nothing sacred about branches of family trees that look more like bunches of separate thorny shrubs.
As Bishop Fulton Sheen said, “There are 3 rings for marriage, engagement ring, wedding ring, SUFFERING.”
I’m only 24 and have been married for over two and a half years. Definitely think Father has such a beautiful and spot on view of what marriage is all about, especially that getting married young is typically (definitely not always) better for couples.
Father Ryan is such a compassionate rockstar of a priest! I'm really grateful for a lot of the things he mentioned here. So much healing is needed today!
Father was wrong in saying there is no sin (you can keep going to communion) if you are divorced but not dating. Divorce itself is a grave sin! Separating the communal home without serious reason (like abuse) is grave sin! You cannot go to communion if you have left or divorced your spouse! Now, this obviously doesn't apply if you have been left or divorced against your will and have been abandoned. You did not choose that. It is not your sin, but your abandoning spouse's sin. So, yes, divorce ITSELF is a sin for at least one and possibly both spouses that would preclude you from communion until repented and/or rectified in some manner.
That's why the CCC says that remarriage without annulment "adds to the gravity."
And no one ever talks about this.
Yes. Thanks for pointing this out.
Divorce itself is not a grave sin. It's surely a sad and grave *circumstance* and it can be conducted in a manner that is gravely sinful, but divorce itself is not a grave sin.
Remarriage without annulment adds to the gravity of having become emotionally involved in someone other than the person the Church presumes to be your valid spouse.
How is it not though? CCC 2384 says "Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law". 2385 "Divorce is immoral also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society"
There absolutely is divorce. I have seen the annulment process abused in basically every circumstance. It is a rubber stamp, that only is concerned with money.
The Catholic view of Marriage is the most central sacrament culturally for laity.
I feel that one of the great challenges to women in the modern age is how they are bombarded with culture that is opposed to a catholic view of marriage. If your wife has non catholic media on when at home you find feminism has a firm footing and is the source of so much contention in the marriage and often the death of the marriage.
What a tragedy for families.
Howya Matt !
As always, Catholics are unable to utter the words, "go back to your spouse, you're still married. That's what you're supposed to do."
If they truly did "presume" the validity of marriages we would hear a lot more of this.
It's the truth, but a tough truth. The only thing that could possibly repair a marriage fractured by "divorce" is the grace of God, but both parties have to be 100% committed to it. They must have true faith, obedience, and exhibit the mercy of Christ to their partner. After so much hurt of having your family ripped apart, it seems unlikely anyone would willingly want to get back together with that person. If they are willing because they're just _that_ faithful to God, I doubt they would file for divorce in the first place. But it's worth a shot I guess.
@@csapienza001 Amen.
So...if Matt's wife were abusive to the children, and they get a civil divorce... he can never have love in a married relationship again, and his children can never have a new mother who loves them and never abuses them?
Is marriage indissoluble or not? Are you concluding that God hath not joined Matt and his wife? If you assume not, you are running the risk defying God. Who are we to decide what God hath joined? And be careful of assuming mercy for Matt's sake in this case, and violating justice and the truth of marital indissolubility
"You sent your wife there" wth lol
The information about annulments and receiving communion after a civil divorce was not what I was told. Does it vary by diocese?
You are confusing civil divorce with *remarriage* after civil divorce. You can't receive communion if you remarry without an annulment, if Benedict is still your pope, that is.
@@billyhw5492 - Hmmm, not what I was told, nor what happened to me. I was told a few years ago that I was not to have received communion since the divorce unless I had an annulment, even though I wasn't dating and had no plans to date. (I thought that the idea of getting an annulment after a civil divorce while not dating would be like having to have annulment every time you were separated, like on a week long business trip or if you were deployed in the military. You are apart due to paperwork, still have a relationship, are not seeking a new one, in theory, you would/could get back together.. not likely in my case, but he passed away a few years ago, so that's all moot. When he needed a fiduciary, he asked me to do it because he said I was the only person he trusted not to screw him over, and I was at his bedside the day he died, though we'd been divorced for over a decade.)
I was told, while he was alive, to get an annulment.
@@zinaj9437 I truly do not know how to help people as stupid as you.
@@billyhw5492 - Pray that they get good advice, since that's the direction I was given?
Father was wrong in saying there is no sin (you can keep going to communion) if you are divorced but not dating. Divorce itself is a grave sin! Separating the communal home without serious reason (like abuse) is grave sin! You cannot go to communion if you have left or divorced your spouse! Now, this obviously doesn't apply if you have been left or divorced against your will and have been abandoned. You did not choose that. It is not your sin, but your abandoning spouse's sin. So, yes, divorce ITSELF is a sin for at least one and possibly both spouses that would preclude you from communion until repented and/or rectified in some manner.
Question: If a Catholic marries in the Church and gets a civil divorce, are they still married in the eyes of the Church?
Yes.
Yes!
Absolutely.
If they divorced w/o bishop's permission, they can't go to Communion until they make public restitution.
@@zayan6284 oi