"Humility isn't thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less." -CS Lewis When I'm at my happiest it isn't when I'm thinking very highly of myself, it's when I'm not thinking of myself at all
Selfishness and self centeredness that we think is the root of our troubles. Driven by fear,self seeking,self delusion and self pity we step on the toes of our fellow’s and they retaliate.
Others have already said to focus on others. Another way to turn the negative to positive is identify the parts of yourself you can not stand and then either train yourself to no longer do those things, or let them go. Simple to say, very hard to do.
My mother was very wise, she was an RN starting back in 1943, always worked, raised 7 children, always did for others. As an adult when I would start to feel depressed she would always tell me to go find a way that I can help others. She was right. Thank you Jordan Peterson for sharing these things. You don’t hear the truths he says from many others.
Amen! Brilliant! A little song I learned goes..Jesus and Others and You what a wonderful way to spell JOY! J is for Jesus cause He takes first place. O is for others you meet face to face. Y is for you and whatever you do! PUT YOURSELF LAST AND SPELL JOY!!!
Consciously aware, sub consciously aware, spiritually aware. It takes time. Understand each one's language. This is transcending the mortal existence. Wisdom at the eternal level.
It depends on what you see when you look inside. If all you see are your habitual thoughts, emotions, concerns and reactions then it’s misery and hell. If you’ve discovered the observer of them you’ve found the key to fulfillment and transformation.
Yes! I'll admit that is was definitely good for me to hear.. but the someone that I was referring to was my friend /girl from highschool.. @@awatson8832
Happiness is never experienced, it's only remembered. Being happy is being in the moment, experiencing what is around you. When you're happy, you're not thinking about yourself being happy, you're not thinking about yourself at all. You're thinking about whatever it is that's going on that has brought you outside of yourself and brought you into a real and deep interaction with what is outside you,
Anxiety as well. I've struggled my whole life with happiness issues because of my intellect. I also have a very hard time connecting with others and empathizing because they are not as intelligent as I am. I don't mean that to sound elitist, because it's not. I don't actively or consciously look down on others or think that I am better than they are, it's just something that happens. My lack of empathy has always come from my inability to connect with the majority of people I deal with. This creates anxiety. Now that I'm older, I have adapted to it and recognize that those feelings of anxiety are not real, so I'm much more at peace now. I just stay to myself as much as humanly possible, fake normal interaction and connection when I must, and focus on hobbies, work, home improvement, etc., and not making life hard for others around me. It's the best I can do.
Honest question: I know that 'feeling' self-conscious is unpleasant, but is 'self-awareness' not an entirely different thing? I ask because I don't want to be preoccupied with myself, but I want to become aware of my behaviors that are selfish, toxic, or otherwise harmful to my relationships and success. How do I leverage self-awareness for my betterment without overly focusing on myself, thus becoming miserable?
Either you weren't paying attention, you're intentionally sidestepping, or you're a bot. It's hard to tell these days... but you're definitely not putting yourself into this at all, so it doesn't really matter, does it? Has to come from a person to be an opinion.
I partially disagree. I don't feel bad Being aware of what I am currently doing or thinking and deciding whether I should change them or not. I think it's because I have direct control over them.
What if i am severely adhd?... impulsive, no filter, can't stop talking, can't keep a job, annoying to others by nature. If I'm constantly worried about being me, focused on trying to control myself and trying to figure out how to fit in, is that guaranteed to make me miserable? How do not focus on those things?
I need balance, though. I'm known to focus on others, community and fixing stuff for ppl. There are many times when 2 ppl closest to me (in my space) take advantage and never show up when needed. I feel they have the opportunity because I'm not paying attention to myself, how I'm moving or how these 2 accomplish their goals which are ALWAYS favorable for them! What's the balancing point?
I feel like I’d be a helluva lot less self conscious if my needs were being met. Also if I was able to communicate my needs better to those around me IF they had listening skills
What is the difference between being concerned with yourself, and being miserable? My concern is both for myself and it’s because of my concern for others that I am able to work with that and keep going. It’s connected to your worth. I know now that my worth to others is high, therefore because I know that is powerful, and can actually create more self worth in others .. because I know others worth already, and I put myself aside because I couldn’t understand how others weren’t recognising their worth and potential that I clearly recognise in them. It’s a whole thing, God knows what that means.
Exactly. However, you have to know yourself well enough to know where you're at in order to figure out how to take a step forward. Which would, I suppose, mean that misery is a sign that you need to change, to take that step forward. You're not meant to linger in that mindset, you're supposed to go in, figure out what to do or what you need, and get out so you can take that step. Being self conscious is useful, remaining self conscious isn't
I used to think about these kinds of things a lot. At a seemingly arbitrary points (don't get me started on the nature of reality) one fuses the concern for their "self" with the concern of other. How can one not be selfish? By recognizing truths.
Worry and thankfulness also occupy the same area of the brain and it's impossible to have both of those emotions at the same time. If you're busy being thankful you'll worry less, be less self-conscious and therefore be less miserable.
At the current level of thinking, what u say appears true. But once technical evolution happens, it will be possible to distinguish between the two.🎉🎉🎉
It’s easy not to think of oneself if there is anyone that thinks of you instead. Shame that no one wants friends, so we’re all left alone to think of only ourselves.
Whether you believe in Jesus, or not, if you try to live like Him, serving others (obviously you need to earn money and things to live) and being kind, your life will be so, so much better ❤❤❤
@@jessmueller8300 I don’t think that an external focus is the end all Solution. I think there is nothing better than to focus on oneself. Fight the everyday you vs you fight to become a better version of yourself. Be better than yesterday.
Creating an authentic culture to be a part of. Basically tearing down the consumption crazed world that we live in, in favor of meaningful ethical logical society that cares about each other, and our descendants, once again ... There's a lot more reasons why we aren't happy these days Peterson. And you know it! Yes, we all have a responsibility, but the deck is stacked anymore. Everyone is running some kind of racket.
Being self aware is in NO way, shape or form indistinguishable from misery. Self awareness is dualistic as is everything else in our existence, but not wholly miserable. That is your choice to make.
Yeah no, Peterson is a scientist and one of the world's experts on personality psychology, with a huge research background in that subject. And the data backs up his claim. Self consciousness loads on pain and anxiety statistically. He's right, you're wrong, end of story.
@@martingjugja7122 Tell me how this is wrong. I learned a new song on piano which was very difficult. I'm aware that I achieved a goal and I got better at something. That requires me to be self aware in a positive way, but I'm not being arrogant either.
Total nonsense - while being overly self-conscious can obviously lead to trouble, there is utterly nothing wrong with being self-aware. So, equating THAT with misery, is not an observation by JP - it is a confession.
Yeah no, he's a psychologist and he specifically said there's no difference in the "technical" sense. That self-consciousness-related questions cluster together statistically with all other negative emotion questions and as such are part of the overall factor "neuroticism". And by the way, Peterson's primary field of research was personality psychology (neuroticism being one of the 5 clusters of the Big Five personality dimensions) and he was extremely well-cited and regarded within that field. So he's actually one of the world's experts on the matter. So you'd better come up with some pretty damn compelling evidence for your claim if you're going to contradict him. Because he's a scientific expert on the subject, and he's making a claim that's extremely strongly backed by the data.
starting small is still a win. even caring for a plant, training it, and seeing it's response to your actions work pretty well if you can manage to humble yourself enough to see it. i started with weed plants, funny enough. idk if i'd recommend that specifically, but i did later start growing lavender and potatoes. i did not eat the potatoes... but it did grow and did make more. it's not the highest order good, no doubt, but i have someone else now. Try something friend. it's worth the time and effort. besides, your brain won't know the difference even if you do.
Focus on other people and their needs, the Bible talks about casting your cares onto Jesus for he cares for you. So don’t go through life in a whimsical kind of fashion, rather anything that is concerning or is a major issue, commit that problem to Jesus and let him be worried about it for you. This frees you up to be aware of other people and there needs, you essentially take yourself out of the “care” equation
And the solution to this is the gospel: trusting in Jesus the Saviour who rose up from the dark death so you can have eternal life spiritually and die the physical death for others like Jesus did to you. And thus is the free society prolonged: when humanity freely give their lives for each other.
How? How is adding more things to make you feel that something is wrong with you and the rest of the world make you and people around you feel better? Lol By the way if God made all things he is everything that is good and ALSO everything that is bad. One day you will realize this fact in that books are written by human hands and that words are very flexible. Question everything in life including advice from books where meanings need "interpretation". Why is someone telling me what something means when it clearly doesn't say anything about what they said?
@@user-dp9tk2wy4k You are a bit all over the place but simply: If man is not created in the image of God, and God did not come down in flesh and sacrifice himself for it, every human being would see himself as worthless and dung and you could throw the what's called "human rights" (God-given rights*) out the window . Only by understanding the Gospel and trusting it, one is truly edified. The Gospel is anything but human wisdom and human inspired. No prophecy of the bible has come false, and there is no other book more hated, banned, sold, documented and dangerous than it. The Gospel goes against what a person naturally would believe. It's in our flesh to trust our own capabilities and to be prideful. All religions except one believe in what's called "Works-based salvation message". Yes, God allows evil and sometimes even causes evil. But how can you define good and evil if the unscientific evolution myth were true and we're all just a bunch of animals? And what do you even mean by "Good"? Is God forced to not send a hurricane over a city! Could it be that man since Adam has somewhat of his responsibility? Does being "Kind" really help people? Does giving your child every toy and candy she asks for help her? Every religion and philosophy out there lifts up self, even evolutionism. And the end of all those is death and bondage. Wherever the myth of evolution is taught and believed in (apart from scientific micro-evolution) the hero becomes death.
"Humility isn't thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less."
-CS Lewis
When I'm at my happiest it isn't when I'm thinking very highly of myself, it's when I'm not thinking of myself at all
Jordan Peterson what a blessing you are… 🙏🏽✨
There's nobody else saying these things outside the classroom. This professor is a special individual.
It's barely being said in the classroom either. There is such a lack of wisdom and critical thought happening in our institutions.
That's why genuine happiness and fulfillment comes from serving others.
Selfishness and self centeredness that we think is the root of our troubles. Driven by fear,self seeking,self delusion and self pity we step on the toes of our fellow’s and they retaliate.
Others have already said to focus on others. Another way to turn the negative to positive is identify the parts of yourself you can not stand and then either train yourself to no longer do those things, or let them go. Simple to say, very hard to do.
Thank you Dr. My whole day has been transformed into something positive. ❤
My mother was very wise, she was an RN starting back in 1943, always worked, raised 7 children, always did for others. As an adult when I would start to feel depressed she would always tell me to go find a way that I can help others. She was right. Thank you Jordan Peterson for sharing these things. You don’t hear the truths he says from many others.
He is basically saying, f*uck betterhelp
What's wrong with Betterhelp?
The river Jordan flowing thru the promise land🙏❤🛐🕊🕉
I think there is a big difference between being self-conscious and self-absorbed.
Some people are naturally more self-conscious than others.
And some people are naturally higher in negative emotion
@@imrickjames717 How dare you!! Just joking.....definitely. And I'm one of them! 😆
LOL
@@darthlaurelditto!
And there is being an introvert too as juxtaposed to being an extrovert. It’s a struggle either way. “Life is a warfare”, Saint Job rightly said.
Jordan recently discovered Tolle. I like that. Jordan would learn a lot from him. Like when to be quiet and when to speak....
Amen! Brilliant! A little song I learned goes..Jesus and Others and You what a wonderful way to spell JOY! J is for Jesus cause He takes first place. O is for others you meet face to face. Y is for you and whatever you do! PUT YOURSELF LAST AND SPELL JOY!!!
Thank you
Yes, thank you!
Extraordinary ❤
Consciously aware, sub consciously aware, spiritually aware. It takes time. Understand each one's language. This is transcending the mortal existence. Wisdom at the eternal level.
I wondered as a younger self why I was so self conscious ...I was miserable ...peers would say not...perhaps I hid it well ...😕🤔
This is brilliant. Focus outward and feel fulfilled. Focus inward and be miserable.
It depends on what you see when you look inside.
If all you see are your habitual thoughts, emotions, concerns and reactions then it’s misery and hell.
If you’ve discovered the observer of them you’ve found the key to fulfillment and transformation.
Thank you for that. I know someone who really needed to hear that.
You?
Lol
Yes! I'll admit that is was definitely good for me to hear.. but the someone that I was referring to was my friend /girl from highschool.. @@awatson8832
100%, you are so right!
Just enjoy listening to you,you're awesome
Happiness is never experienced, it's only remembered.
Being happy is being in the moment, experiencing what is around you.
When you're happy, you're not thinking about yourself being happy, you're not thinking about yourself at all.
You're thinking about whatever it is that's going on that has brought you outside of yourself and brought you into a real and deep interaction with what is outside you,
Soooo it’s experienced 😂
Anxiety??
Self awareness is the ultimate form of criticism... you cant judge the universe if you cant see your own flaws.
That is all wrong. I go into my self and know who I am and I feel greater than before cause it makes me feel good. Cause I am
I can only grow more when I am aware of myself as to who I am, I am that that I am.
Thank You
This is why smart people ( people with high iq’s) are 3 times more likely to be diagnosed as depressed than the average.
Anxiety as well. I've struggled my whole life with happiness issues because of my intellect. I also have a very hard time connecting with others and empathizing because they are not as intelligent as I am. I don't mean that to sound elitist, because it's not. I don't actively or consciously look down on others or think that I am better than they are, it's just something that happens. My lack of empathy has always come from my inability to connect with the majority of people I deal with. This creates anxiety. Now that I'm older, I have adapted to it and recognize that those feelings of anxiety are not real, so I'm much more at peace now. I just stay to myself as much as humanly possible, fake normal interaction and connection when I must, and focus on hobbies, work, home improvement, etc., and not making life hard for others around me. It's the best I can do.
Thank God for Dr. Jordan Peterson
Honest question: I know that 'feeling' self-conscious is unpleasant, but is 'self-awareness' not an entirely different thing? I ask because I don't want to be preoccupied with myself, but I want to become aware of my behaviors that are selfish, toxic, or otherwise harmful to my relationships and success. How do I leverage self-awareness for my betterment without overly focusing on myself, thus becoming miserable?
He is getting confused between being aware of your self and being concerned for yourself( self conscious)
Either you weren't paying attention, you're intentionally sidestepping, or you're a bot. It's hard to tell these days... but you're definitely not putting yourself into this at all, so it doesn't really matter, does it?
Has to come from a person to be an opinion.
@@nicewhenearnedrudemostlyel489 if you were not going to say anything why did you respond
I partially disagree. I don't feel bad Being aware of what I am currently doing or thinking and deciding whether I should change them or not. I think it's because I have direct control over them.
What if i am severely adhd?... impulsive, no filter, can't stop talking, can't keep a job, annoying to others by nature.
If I'm constantly worried about being me, focused on trying to control myself and trying to figure out how to fit in, is that guaranteed to make me miserable? How do not focus on those things?
I need balance, though. I'm known to focus on others, community and fixing stuff for ppl. There are many times when 2 ppl closest to me (in my space) take advantage and never show up when needed. I feel they have the opportunity because I'm not paying attention to myself, how I'm moving or how these 2 accomplish their goals which are ALWAYS favorable for them! What's the balancing point?
I feel like I’d be a helluva lot less self conscious if my needs were being met.
Also if I was able to communicate my needs better to those around me IF they had listening skills
What is the difference between being concerned with yourself, and being miserable?
My concern is both for myself and it’s because of my concern for others that I am able to work with that and keep going. It’s connected to your worth. I know now that my worth to others is high, therefore because I know that is powerful, and can actually create more self worth in others .. because I know others worth already, and I put myself aside because I couldn’t understand how others weren’t recognising their worth and potential that I clearly recognise in them. It’s a whole thing, God knows what that means.
Exactly. However, you have to know yourself well enough to know where you're at in order to figure out how to take a step forward. Which would, I suppose, mean that misery is a sign that you need to change, to take that step forward.
You're not meant to linger in that mindset, you're supposed to go in, figure out what to do or what you need, and get out so you can take that step.
Being self conscious is useful, remaining self conscious isn't
So stinkin' true!
I used to think about these kinds of things a lot. At a seemingly arbitrary points (don't get me started on the nature of reality) one fuses the concern for their "self" with the concern of other.
How can one not be selfish? By recognizing truths.
Couldn't have said that better myself 😅😅😅😅😅😅
Worry and thankfulness also occupy the same area of the brain and it's impossible to have both of those emotions at the same time. If you're busy being thankful you'll worry less, be less self-conscious and therefore be less miserable.
👑
Cheers 🍻
He speaks like the puritans did back in the 1800’s and their eloquence of speech was through the ceiling.❤
I would love to hear jordan peterson views on buddhism.
Exactly they are indistinguishable
Look at bigger picture
At the current level of thinking, what u say appears true. But once technical evolution happens, it will be possible to distinguish between the two.🎉🎉🎉
Is there any Chance to talk with jordan peterson?
Is one of my biggest dreams, to meet him one time
It’s easy not to think of oneself if there is anyone that thinks of you instead. Shame that no one wants friends, so we’re all left alone to think of only ourselves.
Doctor what about selfless and selfish sir?
Whether you believe in Jesus, or not, if you try to live like Him, serving others (obviously you need to earn money and things to live) and being kind, your life will be so, so much better ❤❤❤
Look outside yourself, and look to God.
Then what would be a Solution to that?
Focus on other people instead 😊
@@jessmueller8300 I don’t think that an external focus is the end all Solution. I think there is nothing better than to focus on oneself. Fight the everyday you vs you fight to become a better version of yourself. Be better than yesterday.
Creating an authentic culture to be a part of. Basically tearing down the consumption crazed world that we live in, in favor of meaningful ethical logical society that cares about each other, and our descendants, once again ...
There's a lot more reasons why we aren't happy these days Peterson. And you know it! Yes, we all have a responsibility, but the deck is stacked anymore. Everyone is running some kind of racket.
“for the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is Life and peace “
Romans 8:6
No man is an island. (Sorry, I can't remember who said that.)
But what if thinking about yourself makes you feel good?
The ego system
How?
Being self aware is in NO way, shape or form indistinguishable from misery. Self awareness is dualistic as is everything else in our existence, but not wholly miserable. That is your choice to make.
Yeah no, Peterson is a scientist and one of the world's experts on personality psychology, with a huge research background in that subject. And the data backs up his claim.
Self consciousness loads on pain and anxiety statistically. He's right, you're wrong, end of story.
@@immanuelcunt7296 its in the name aye?🙂
What about thinking of God first and foremost?!
👏😐
That's how I was raised and it sucks
What if I'm self aware of something that I'm proud of?
Also bad. Leads to arrogance
@@martingjugja7122 Tell me how this is wrong. I learned a new song on piano which was very difficult. I'm aware that I achieved a goal and I got better at something. That requires me to be self aware in a positive way, but I'm not being arrogant either.
@@lilrewb4646 the key part here is being positive about acchivement. You said proud, right?
@@lilrewb4646 anyways men, dont listen to me. Im just speaking from my personal expirience. I conratulate you on your acchivement
🤔
This is so stupid. I now understand why some people wanted to revoke his certificates
Total nonsense - while being overly self-conscious can obviously lead to trouble, there is utterly nothing wrong with being self-aware. So, equating THAT with misery, is not an observation by JP - it is a confession.
Heheh...ya .. it's ok tho
Yeah no, he's a psychologist and he specifically said there's no difference in the "technical" sense. That self-consciousness-related questions cluster together statistically with all other negative emotion questions and as such are part of the overall factor "neuroticism".
And by the way, Peterson's primary field of research was personality psychology (neuroticism being one of the 5 clusters of the Big Five personality dimensions) and he was extremely well-cited and regarded within that field. So he's actually one of the world's experts on the matter. So you'd better come up with some pretty damn compelling evidence for your claim if you're going to contradict him. Because he's a scientific expert on the subject, and he's making a claim that's extremely strongly backed by the data.
Not again🙂 how many times do i need to say it?
There's nothing you've said which I remember so you would have to say it again if you want it to be apparent what you mean
@@fallingman8470 being conscious is not just being miserable
That’s not been my experience
I don’t have anyone else
starting small is still a win. even caring for a plant, training it, and seeing it's response to your actions work pretty well if you can manage to humble yourself enough to see it.
i started with weed plants, funny enough. idk if i'd recommend that specifically, but i did later start growing lavender and potatoes. i did not eat the potatoes... but it did grow and did make more. it's not the highest order good, no doubt, but i have someone else now.
Try something friend. it's worth the time and effort. besides, your brain won't know the difference even if you do.
Focus on other people and their needs, the Bible talks about casting your cares onto Jesus for he cares for you. So don’t go through life in a whimsical kind of fashion, rather anything that is concerning or is a major issue, commit that problem to Jesus and let him be worried about it for you. This frees you up to be aware of other people and there needs, you essentially take yourself out of the “care” equation
And the solution to this is the gospel: trusting in Jesus the Saviour who rose up from the dark death so you can have eternal life spiritually and die the physical death for others like Jesus did to you. And thus is the free society prolonged: when humanity freely give their lives for each other.
That might be the solution for you, but it's not THE solution
How? How is adding more things to make you feel that something is wrong with you and the rest of the world make you and people around you feel better? Lol
By the way if God made all things he is everything that is good and ALSO everything that is bad. One day you will realize this fact in that books are written by human hands and that words are very flexible. Question everything in life including advice from books where meanings need "interpretation". Why is someone telling me what something means when it clearly doesn't say anything about what they said?
@@user-dp9tk2wy4k You are a bit all over the place but simply: If man is not created in the image of God, and God did not come down in flesh and sacrifice himself for it, every human being would see himself as worthless and dung and you could throw the what's called "human rights" (God-given rights*) out the window . Only by understanding the Gospel and trusting it, one is truly edified. The Gospel is anything but human wisdom and human inspired. No prophecy of the bible has come false, and there is no other book more hated, banned, sold, documented and dangerous than it. The Gospel goes against what a person naturally would believe. It's in our flesh to trust our own capabilities and to be prideful. All religions except one believe in what's called "Works-based salvation message".
Yes, God allows evil and sometimes even causes evil. But how can you define good and evil if the unscientific evolution myth were true and we're all just a bunch of animals? And what do you even mean by "Good"?
Is God forced to not send a hurricane over a city! Could it be that man since Adam has somewhat of his responsibility?
Does being "Kind" really help people?
Does giving your child every toy and candy she asks for help her?
Every religion and philosophy out there lifts up self, even evolutionism. And the end of all those is death and bondage. Wherever the myth of evolution is taught and believed in (apart from scientific micro-evolution) the hero becomes death.
Nonsense.
😂 This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard
Get a purpose or get a specialty. Or at least get a hobby.