We Let YOU Pick the Topic: Molding Your Man into Marriage Material
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- čas přidán 20. 10. 2021
- Real fam: We asked and you answered! This topic is all about managing your expectations in relationships. Tarayah Thornton asked whether people have a higher standard when it comes to marrying someone or should that standard be set early in the dating phase?
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#marriage #tarayahthornton #dating - Zábava
All that money saved on last season must've gone towards styling on this season 😂 The ladies look stunning in every episode, Adrienne's look in this clip is beautiful 😍
I was going to say that! Their clothes, makeup, hair, even the decoration of the set... everything is stunning! Love it 👏👏👏
yess they all look great. 😍 loni has been doing her own makeup this season, i’m not sure about the other ladies.
Yesss so true! This pony and her outfit 😍😍🔥
😅😅😅😅
@@AnabethS2Logan kkakkqk1mqllló why op2
If you've got to "change" someone. You shouldn't be with that person.
Exactly
Amen 🙏🏽
Change isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes people have negative experience that stick with them . If I didn’t change I would never have the wonderful husband I have now… coming off a divorce I was broken.
@@cindyben3089 but did your husband try to change you?
@@Dani-ru1uy Yes he did.. Some of my behaviors and thought process were sh**. I was a good person inside but my exterior was bitter and mean. I changed him as well because the didn’t want kids, now we’re working on that together. It’s been 5 years but we’re hopeful.
Ever since Lonnie has gotten into meditation and mindfulness her energy feels so much lighter and happier. In a genuine way. It’s inspired me to get into it!
Can't change a man. Just appreciate the one's who are heading in the same trajectory as you.
This the comment !!
Yes like Loni said for us regular folks
You can NEVER Change anyone, what happened with Jeannie and Jay is that the right person came into her life and SHE decided she was open to things she never thought she would be open to. I agree with Loni, if you meet someone and their goals in that sense don’t align with yours and u either decide that you can live with it OR you have a time period and if they never change their minds for whatever reason, move on.
Agreed 👏🏽👏🏽💯💯
Why do women always think they can change a man especially when it comes to marriage, then be looking dumbfounded when he leave you after 17 yrs just to marry someone he only knew for 7 months
So many women date f bois and think they can change them knowing their past.
@@joyc9323 nah it should be mentioned in the very beginning not at year two
A lot of men aren’t honest. They will sell you a dream . And make you a promise and never go through with it. Unfortunately some woman are very hopeful in these kind of men. And we will miss the red Flags.
@@dance4life1208 I agree I think the first few dates in fact.
@@catherinenunez7146 I agree, this is why its key to be intentional in dating and make sure their actions are matching the promises they're making.
K Michelle said it best “…can’t change a man, he already grown what you gon do?”
I totally agree with Adrienne. It's all about expectations. I also believe, that Jeezy wasn't hoping to change Jeanies mind. He just wanted to love her. ❤
"It's not Jeannie and Jeezy!" LOOL. Poor Loni, forever trying to keep them on track...🤣
Yes!!!!! They forget 😂 loni always got to bring it back to the main question 😂 love them all, love this show
Yep lol
I love when Loni does those hands, but then when Adrienne does it, her elbows can't reach the chair. It's so cute lol
😂😂😂😂
You're silly 😂😂😂
That’s what I was thinking too lol it’s so cute
Yo 💀💀💀💀💀😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 this took me out!
I noticed that 😆
I like to believe that Jeezy, in his heart, must have known throughout the entire time they were dating, that he was gonna make Jeannie his wife. Man was obviously on a mission! That's what I get from this segment lol
This is correct... J has said publicly, he knew from the jump, that he wanted to marry Jeannie.💜
Yes , and he knew everything about her , remember the assignment he gave her in their early dating stage ?
But thats how people get dissappointed though. Hoping to change people or hoping that people will change. It just worked for them
@@haryel5058 Yes! He knew that would intrigue her! He had her then lol
Agreed. :)) 👏🏽👏🏽💯💯
You can’t change people but you can open their minds and hearts. I agree with Loni that you need to give it some time if you think the person is worth it but not TOO much time.
Exactly 👏🏽👏🏽💯💯
Loni when she folds her hands gets me every time, too hilarious!! Garcelle's friend reminds me of someone else who was ready to give up her desire to be a mom and she was so unhappy now she is out of that relationship and moved on to have a family of her own.
Glad shes living her dream
Loni if not so funny when she's a race-bathing instigator ?
Men always want to marry me and trap me, not because they love me. you can’t be talking about babies with me after an hour 😐 I’m really considering getting a partial hysterectomy. My ex wanted to marry me and have kids when I dumped him. We never spoke about kids.
When I date Latin or Caucasian men, they don’t talk about serious topics so soon or try to rush me in bed. But some of the black guys do and it’s usually for selfish reasons and they are after something. I know they’re running game. I can relate to Jeannie’s trauma and upbringing. Maybe that will change but I’m not interested in marriage or babies. That’s work for the next 20 plus years. Not to mention the financial cost and stress and emotionally taxing. It’s not easy.
Garcelle is hilarious at the end! "Why she yelling at ya?" 😆
Wait she said that Imma have to reply to back & see lol 🤭🤭😊😊
Loni’s gossipy auntie laugh is everything!!!!😂😂😂😂
I love jeanie she is super confident and bold, I love the atmosphere this season.
This was my last relationship!! I made it very clear to my ex that I wanted marriage and children and he wanted the same also. A year & half into it he changed his mind about children. That was a deal breaker to me and I told him that from the beginning. When I noticed his mind beginning to change he asked me were children an absolute neccessity and I told him ABSOLUTELY. When I realized it was no longer apart of what he wanted I began to question if I could continue my life without a family of my own? I also asked myself what if I could get him to change his mind? I began doing research of how to get him to change his mind for hours and days on end. I came to the conclusion that he would probably resent me, our children and the relationship. As much as it pained me to let him go I had to. I wanted someone who wanted the exact same things as I did without twisting someone's arm. Great topic ladies!
I think every man has marriage in him IF he meets the right one. So, if you’ve been dating for about a year and he still hasn’t changed his mind, he’s just not the one for you. Me personally, I would want to know up front if he desired marriage and if not, I wouldn’t even waste my time.
A year! Nooo. Within 3 months...Max 6 months. Don't waste your time. All Men do not want to get Married...even if they meet the RIGHT one!
My husband and I decided to marry after 2 weeks of dating. We legally tied the knot a year. We have been together for years. None of my Asian friends date passed 6 months without marriage. Do not waste your time ladies!
@@Perfeccionista89 Wow girl , really ? 6 months . Oh thank you , I’m gonna step up my game !!! 😂
@@haryel5058 I'm serious.
@@Perfeccionista89 wow that's amazing I am so happy for you guys 🤗
I agree with Giselle!!! As for me, 12 years into the relationship, now past my childbearing years, and no talk of marriage unless I raise the subject...I finally decided it was all too much of a sacrifice and called it quits.🤷🏾♀️
Wow. Smh. I’m so sorry
Awwww I just hope you don’t look at that past relationship with too much regret cos I can imagine what that might do to your mental health.. hopefully you’re fulfilled in your life doing whatever you want not waiting on someone else to catch up to you
@@Tee-of1rr It's a matter of constantly reminding myself, because you know they always try to come back😔. But yes, it does help to find fulfillment in other things and that's what I'm focussing on right now. And also trying to not let this experience close me off the finding love again...but it is a process🙏. In the meantime...self-love and selfcare🤗
Garcelle
AGE plays a HUGE role. Not just time. Life experience + personal expectations/ goals hold the most weight on the possibility of changing yourself or anyone's mind.
Agree
I believe that you cannot truly change or expect a person to change when they’ve given you definite answers… a person can WILLINGLY adapt and change when they feel safe , secure and sound with a person they can actively picture doing definite things with !!! But you cannot force someone or think you can change someone like they’re an experiment or project ! That will turn on you QUICKLY when that person turns into the right one for SOMEONE ELSE !!!
I agree 👍 with Definite Clear answers on the table it's a CHOICE if one stays in the relationship. But to SACRAFICE the desires/passion of your heart HOPEING the other person WILLINGLY changes their mind its a RISK one is taking.
So at the end of the day, it's a CHOICE.
Jeannie said "politefully" 🤣🤣😭😭 that's not a word, it's POLITELY!
Lol..maybe it's politely and respectfully 🤣
She has Mommy brain already 😂
It’s like how Loni always says “supposably” instead of “supposedly”, drives me nuts lol
😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I have never seen Jeannie so happy 😭😭 of course she has always been a happy lovable person but it’s so different now!! She seems so comfortable in her own skin and it’s so great to see ❤️❤️❤️
I love how you guys post more on CZcams now. It's so convenient. 🥰 You ladies and a glass of wine, so good.
If Jeezy didn’t want to get married they would not be married today. It is much easier to change a woman’s mind than a man’s mind when it comes to marriage.
That’s a great perspective
Agreed 👏🏽👏🏽💯💯
Not one hundred percent true. But like Jennie said, Thier definition of the world may not look the same. So when the right person comes a long or a life changing event occurs that comes and inspires a different view on the subject that is very different.
@@ruruvarela I feel women are more willing to change then men. I also understand that if a man finds the right woman he can change as well. The main word is “right” woman because many woman hang around hoping that they are the one and they are not. Men don’t necessarily have to do that because their are plenty of “good” fish in the sea. So if one woman doesn’t want to marry him he can easily find another.
@@angenereid730 I can definitely at the top of my head think of a man who thinks like that. Constantly thinking it's fine, if the current one is not accepting the bare minimum he's willing to provide, he can just get another good one later but then it's bad choice after bad choice and you're left thinking, "should've kept that woman from ten years ago"😂 Point being good women are not always that easy to find as well but still a little easier to find than it is to find a good man for sure. People should just not take each other for granted.
Stop dating men who say they don't want YOU, a marriage, or anything serious. It's dumb, just get someone who wants what you want
If it was Jeezy who did not want to ever get married and have a baby, it would NOT have happened. Jeannie and women in general will change their mind and stance QUICK when they are loved right.
Is it a good thing....time will tell.
Wordddd
I disagree. I've known too many men who insisted that they would never get married. Those are the same ones who are married or engaged in 6 months when they meet the right woman and truly fall in love. That's why I stopped dating men who were ambiguous or uncertain in any way. A maybe from a man is really a NO, so I stopped fooling myself. Now I'm engaged and my fiance knew after one month that he wanted to marry me, and proposed after only 4 months. When a man knows he knows.
You can never change anyone. A person changes when an environment fosters safety and comfort enough to dispel fears and limitations once harbored. The change isn't force or coerced, rather it is accepted as a more fulfilling alternative.
Well said!!!!
Adrienne holding her hands like Loni just had me laughing.
“In my humble opinion…🙏🏽”
😄
😂😂😂
Some people change their minds, they’ll say they don’t want marriage or kids and then, they might want it after a while.
I got goosebumps when A explained that. So on point. It's expectations
Jeanie is right. That conversation has to happen at the very beginning
(marriage-kids)
People are capable of change, but you can't make anyone change. When I first met my now-husband we were just coworkers. I'd constantly hear him talk about how he didn't want kids. He said it would just be him, his wife and their pets.
I dont know what made him change, but when we got together, he opened up to the idea of having kids. I love children, but I totally respect people who don't want them, so I wasn't even going to ask about it.
Now he's encouraging me to buy things for a nursery and I'm not even pregnant! That's how excited he is to have kids now.
Wow
Fall in love with what's in front of you. As long as a person is living, they are going to change. But there are no guarantees as to what that will look like and if it will be in the areas that you want. Fall in love with what's in front of you, not what you hope will happen. And like the ladies said, keep checking in and know your deal breakers.
Adrienne is PREACHING this season! All these topics have been so great and the discussion within them has been so life-changing and instilling! Keep doing ya thing ladies, cause its WORKIN!
You can't change people but they can make the conscious decision to change
Jeannie Mai came with the wisdom today! ❤️
If a man don't want to get married what he really saying is HE DONT WANT TO MARRY YOU!! 🤷♀️
Or he literally doesn't wanna marry anyone.
@@ceeceedior21 nope. Most likely is because he doesn't want to marry that person. There are some people that don't want to ever get married. They are few. So yeah, more likely that not, they just don't want you. Period.
Every one is not marriage material marriage is hard but with the right person it is worth it,plus you should pray before you married that person
WOMEN STOP WASTING YOUR TIME TRYING TO MOLD A MAN INTO SOMEONE THEYRE NOT!!! Molding a man who doesn’t want to be married TO YOU into marriage material is insane! A man will mold himself into the marriage material if and when he feels like he found the woman that makes him not only FEEL LIKE A MAN, but that he can honestly see himself laying with(making love to ) for the rest of his life along with a woman he considers to be his best friend Bc if you’re not best friends then you might as well let that man go find his forever Bc you’re not it sis
You cannot change a man, people are who they are, either accept them as is or leave them alone.
Love Adrienne's hair here! She should make this a go-to style it's gorgeous on her.
Garcelle is literally gorgeous my god
Trying to mold someone into what you want is a waste of time.
He aint gonna be ready until he ready
*The standard should be set early in the dating phase. When you meet someone ask as many questions as you can because they will tell you who they are. Once you put your expectations on who they are supposed to be that's when problems arise.*
Exactly 👏🏽👏🏽💯💯
I believes in energy because your energy is in your soul. Soul mates is hard to find.
I had expectations for romantic relationships and it hurt me when they would lie to get me but then constantly try to change my mind while we were together. You don’t genuinely love someone if you are trying to change them. People have to stop trying to make their partner what they want and instead make themselves into someone the right person will want. Read that last sentence again.
Sending love to all 4 women. I've learnt so much from them❤❤ Tamera too💕
Together these 4 ladies do one heck of a show. Loni... you’re the best ❤️👏👏👏
Adrienne is absolutely right!
Trying to change someone is a complete waste of time and waste of LIFE. Waiting is too much of a sacrifice for only the chance of someone changing their mind.
This is when I go a little old school and encourage ‘courting’ for people who do know the ultimate goal is marriage and possibly family. Take the time to see how compatible you and if all is good, get married. Don’t just wait around trying to mold a grown adult who is already set in his or her own ways.
Yes! Well said
Agree 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Garcelles’ makeup looks amazing
No, no one can change any person. They have to change (grow/mature) themselves.
I agree with Jeannie! My husband wasn't trying to get married or have kids. I wasn't trying to have kids. We married less than a year of dating. And started a family four years later. ❤️
Bottom line, I was the freaking one! 😂😂
@@teresahenderson954 No ma'am we started a family fours years later. Lol
🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗😂😂
My Husband didn’t want to get married notice I said my HUSBAND lol been together 12 yrs married for 8 have a step daughter who is 21 and our baby girl is 5. Just because you say you don’t want to get married or have children once you get to know a person and they are right for you things change.
People change their minds all the time. The problem is when other people TRY TO CHANGE ANOTHER PERSON'S MIND. As long as you weren't pestering him about it, it seems as if he found it more honorable to be your husband that just your boyfriend.
You're the exception, not the rule. Should you tell your daughters to take the same steps and expect to have such blessed results?
@@TH-eb7ob I think there is definitely a time limit. I agree with Loni with the check in method. At yr 4 I was tired of waiting I told my husband then my boyfriend I’m tired of playing wife and you playing Husband cause we lived together I said I’m moving out if something don’t change we can still be boyfriend and girlfriend but I’m not playing wife. Because I want to get married. Around my birthday he proposed. I think you have to know yourself know what you want and your boundaries. thats what I would tell my daughters.
@@tatianadaniel3569 I went with the flow, and when I got tired I spoke up. He didn’t want a another child either. I wanted kidS so we compromised on one. And I’m so glad. Shout out to the mommas who have more than 2! Y’all the MVPS!
@@droge410 So you actually di want want get married. Did he know that from the beginning? And if so, was that the only time yall had the conversation before you had it again and got married?
I don’t think you can change anyone but I do think people act different for different people if that makes sense. A woman can spend years with a man,cook and clean for him , have sex with him and totally play a wife role and he still won’t marry her. That same man will break up with that woman and marry the next quickly without her even putting in half of the effort 🤷🏽♀️
Lol that’s true. I think the only reason it worked out for me after being together for so long, was that I did not give him any children. And that’s what he wanted, well I made it clear that was not happening until he married me. Men tend to get complacent once they have it all. A man is a man for a reason, they gotta work for it.
@@mrsbere4959 wow. Good thing you didn’t have any children from him
@@mrsbere4959 I have a friend whose boyfriend still hadn't proposed 4 years into their relationship. She ended up giving him an ultimatum and while she waited she stopped driving to his place every weekend and didn't take his phone calls when she was busy or when it was passed her bed time. Ugh the whole thing was so painful to watch but hey it worked. They're married now.
We need to get rid of the notion that we can change people
Love how honest Jeannie is right now. The right person can change you for the better!
Oh I just stumbled on this channel and I am loving it so far
I can’t even change myself 😂 God has to do it !! Set that standard early if they don’t wanna get marry .. don’t waste your time !!
Without watching any clip of the real you can predict what would Jeannie say and Adrienne too sometimes, Loni and Garcell are the ones holding the show down.
Love the new set!
Hmm. I like hearing al of their perspectives on this topic! one thing I would say that I observed was that I don’t think Jeezy “changed” Jeannie, I think the love she received and was introduced to, allowed her to let down her guard. I forsure didn’t see her getting married again or having a child, but that’s why it’s so important to have someone who would love you unconditionally! Jeezy just allowed Jeannie to be the woman she was always meant to be 💕
Take people for what they are, not what you want them to be. If this person doesn't change and stay exactly as they are right now, do you still like them? If you start thinking if they could change X, then leave. This reminds me of men who think they can change a woman's mind when she doesn't want to have kids. Take what people say as fact and be honest with yourself
Exactly 👏🏽👏🏽💯💯
I will say you can’t change a person but sometimes the person doesn’t wanna marry you or doesn’t wanna have kids with you and that’s okay
You can't change somebody. But you can change yourself for someone. I met someone and i knew that she would never stay with me if she ever saw my temper. So i worked on myself and we've been together almost 20 years and she has never seen me lose my temper.
Been watching this show on and off for years. Garcelle is amaaaaazing!!! I love her on the show. The only thing is I’m not sure if Adrienne is aware that she interrupts her quite a bit
It’s so weird , because people and couple can change overtime , but Baybeee I am going to need a time limit …
Loved this!!😍😍😍
I waited 8 years and wasted a lot of time. Now I finally got the ring and I don't know that it was worth the wait and heartache of years of not feeling like your partner chooses you.
Wow. I’m so sorry you went through all of that
Damn, so what you gonna do?
I don't have the TIME or PATIENCE to try to change a Man! ( He needs to come Ready)
Lonis makeup artist is killing it
Let's say love conquers all
You can't mold someone, don't waste your time. If someone doesn't want to marry you or have kids and you do move on. A lot of the times, the "with you" is silent look at Jeannie, George Clooney, John Cena etc. All claimed they didn't want marriage or kids then changed their mind(which they have the right to), when they met the right person. I agree with Loni check in with your partner. No man or woman is worth sacrificing what you really want i.e Kids, all that does is builds up hate towards your partner
i loved it ... very well-discussed
They all look so cute and I just saw loni on pop culture on E! Get that bag loni 💪🏽🎉
I want someone who wants me as much or more than i want him. Visa a versa too. Also jeannie said jeezy is her soulmate so their story doesnt apply to everyone.
👏🏽👏🏽💯💯
😂😂😂 this season is incredible!
I love Loni 😂😂😂 you all ladies are the best and even funny during your chats
I think love can change a person but their partner should not be entering the relationship with the intention of changing someone to fit their picture in their head. So you can’t change your partner intentionally
Adrienne looks TF good !!!!!
jeannie’s story reminds me of my parents. they were both previously married & divorced separately. when they started dating they were SO adamant about never getting married again. 10 years in they got married. been together for 15 this year!!!
Hhhaha yes juicy topic. Im glad Jeannie found her soulmate and forever love. Love this pannel
K Michelle wrote a song called you can't change a man & although I was never a fan of hers or her music I believe that she told the god honest truth in the lyrics to that very song.
That's why it depends ton the individual.
I think it's most important to set a limit of how long "you" are willing to wait!
I honestly think shades of wine look so good on all of the ladies. I’ve said it before but the stylists this season are so on point.
Oooh. Lol
Loni looks so good🥺🥺🥺😍
Loni looks gorgeous
"Why is she yelling at me?" at the end 😂
I love the introductions when they say " shut up Loni" 😄 🤣
But Jeannie, Jeezy did not change and mold u though. U did that bc of love and the way he made u feel I believe!
You can influence a man to an extent but don't be surprised if he has a relapse, people also change overtime, don't fool yourself either.
I’m with this topic!!! 👏🏾👏🏾
If you really love someone you should all work on changing each other, that is really love
People can change, but it has to be their own idea to want to change. It’s a personal choice. Bottom line, you can’t just walk into a relationship thinking you’re going to change your partner up the wazoo. Don’t give up what your ideals, goals, and etc because you want to settle. Jeannie’s relationship with her current husband probably worked, because he was able to give her a security of respect and understanding where she came from with not wanting children. It seemed like her last marriage that even though she told her ex-husband about not wanting kids, he kept thinking maybe he could change her mind about having kids. 90% of the time, when a person is upfront about what they want and don’t want with the relationship, they mean it.
I fully agree with you 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽💯💯💯
Loni's make-up LEVELLED UP!
I am loving this camaraderie, that these ladies have with each other. ....In my humble opinion @ Judge Loni....🤣🤣🤣🤣.
people can change if it happens naturally. my husband didn't want kids at first but two years later we're pregnant with our first baby boy!
But YOU didn't change him. That's the whole point
Set expectations early and respect ur partner's feelings. I'm a woman who doesn't want to get married or have children but have yet to meet a man who hasn't tried to change my mind🤷♀️
Ugh I swear these men do it on purpose🙄 If you said you are expecting marriage and kids, they'd be resistant to that. Women who want kids and marriage should actually do like you and say out the gate that they don't want any of that and see how quickly a ring appears on their finger🙄😂😂