Expressing Your Intent: Can You Save a Relationship After a Rejected Proposal?
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- čas přidán 10. 10. 2021
- “I need more time.” “We’re not ready yet.” These statements can put a dagger in a relationship after a marriage proposal is rejected… but do they have to? Can a relationship be salvaged if a proposal is rejected?
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#wedding #proposal #engagement engagem - Zábava
I’m with Adrienne all the way. How can you propose to someone without seeing if that’s what they want first?! You played yaself!
A bunch of people do that though. How many videos are there of people who literally said no and walked out? Many.
@@bohlalenchabeleng1370 they like to ask in front of other people to peer pressure the individual.
I mean she go t engaged to someone without talking what they wanted
I agree talking and communicating with your partner about marriage and if you want to get married along with being ready to be husband and wife or wife and wife and so on it goes along way if one is ready and the other is not then clearly there is something missing in your communication skills as that persons other half if i had a partner I would want us to be on the same page about marriage and kids before even go down that road talk it out discuses it before DIVING HEAD FIRST into either one
Yeah I mean you have talk to me about it atleast a month before your planned proposal
Adrienne is right, if y’all talked about marriage before, there shouldn’t be a problem
I mean she got engaged to someone she didn't want to marry sooo she isn't one to talk lol
@@beth1188 Rob Kardashian😁😂🤷😎
@@alonzoeley9330 no it wasn't Rob lol it was dude she was with after Rob his name is Lenny Santiago he works in the music business
@@beth1188 but she clearly stated why she did that in this video
So why do women act so suprised??
Loni hyping up Adrienne is giving me life😂
Right 😂
Girrrlll I had to watch the hands and echo tag team again! 😂 Loni- *conversation!* .....again Loni - *4 chirren!* .... *be your wife!* ....and Loni again- *played yoself!* 😂😂
Yup 😂
😂😂😂😂I love it
Me too🤣🤣🤣🤣
I believe in talking to your spouse about marriage before Just jumping out & askin'
yessss
Yes. Marriage proposals shouldn’t come out of the blue. There should’ve already been conversations on where the relationship was going and what accomplishments and goals should’ve been made.
Agreed
For real like don’t just out of the blue ask me?!?!
I thought that was the norm.
The PROPOSAL is the surprise NOT the marriage.
Perfectlyyyyy said
Exactly!
Yessss!!
The proposal could be a surprise but the idea of marriage with that person shouldn’t be.
Thisss!!!
I agree with Adrienne 100%. The 'rejection' is evidence that intentions are misaligned
Or they’re just not ready. Not everyone is ready at the same time.
@@jazzicaidamarie3341 that’s the point. They should discuss it first to make sure they’re both ready. And then months later he can surprise her with a proposal. But if she’s not then he shouldn’t propose
I'm with Adrienne, cause most ppl who say "no" never discussed it before hand. They just went with they mood, which is crazy. But if you do just be prepared for that "no".
Adrienne: "Well then in that case they have a right to be embarrassed." 🤣🤣🤣
Marriages and proposals are kind of like birthdays and surprise gifts. You know your birthday is coming, it isn’t a surprise.The surprise is when you get that surprise gift (proposal) it’s sweet and amazing, you didn’t know exactly when or what the gift was going to be...but you still knew your birthday (the marriage) was coming. It should be like that. The marriage should not be the surprise
❤️
This is the perfecttttt analogy
Exactly 99 percent of the time marriage has already been discussed....
@@roka2031 Well I don’t know not really discussed most just happens out of the blue like on TVs and movies and I always thought that was the norm not talking or discussing about it first never heard that before until now lmaoo !
But if they know there having a surprise birthday party it wouldn’t really be a surprise anymore because it’s expected. it’s kind of different than weddings or proposals cause it just happens out of the blue but yeah they can be the same as guess.
I love Loni’s and Garcelle’s dynamic
Yeah right😊 even when they disagree they find away to still be connected lmaoo🤦🏾♀️😄😏😁
I love when Adrienne and Loni team up 🤣
Lonnie over there cosigning like a Deacon in church. 🤣😂🤣
😂😂 *conversation!* ... *4 children!* ... *played yo self!*
5282 languages out there and Adrienne chooses to speak FACTS!!!!
I don’t know, I see Garcelle’s point but I see Adrienne’s point too. I think you should talk about the future together but, not everybody does that and they still get married..
I'm with Adrienne. I find it a bit immature to propose to someone as a sudden surprise without a talk before, especially these days. One's future and needs out of a marriage might not match the other.
I agree in the immaturity. It's as if the proposing party doesn't know that successful marriages are intentional
Loni cracking me up while Munchkin is going off. Had to watch a 2nd time just for the hands🤓
This was hilarious!
Loni looks GOOD. Lips, hair, dress... perfect
Yassss idk if she got a new stylist. But whoever is styling her has been killing it this season. I've loved every last one of her outfits this season
LONI as the hype girl, i was scrEAMING 🤣
😂😂 *4 children!*...*conversation!*... *be yo wife!* ... *played yoself!*
It’s over! No ifs, buts, or maybes. I’m with Adrienne on this. There’s no way I would continue a relationship with a man who propose to me when we didn’t have THE conversation.
Yes. Its done.
Jane the Virgin covered this exact situation in season 1. It took 5 more seasons, but [spoiler alert] Jane and Raphael did indeed get married! 😁
Exactly what I thought one of them would say that’s what I said not there yet but h*ll no😄 now maybe somewhere in the future they can think about getting back together and starting over but at the moment no its definitely over lmaoo at in my opinion I can’t believe they all agreed that there’s still a relationship happening 🤦🏾♀️🥴🤨😐
Yeah I'm with Adrienne and even back in the 20s men still asked for a woman's hand in marriage and dating was intended for marriage. So it was expected
i was just thinking that
My man says this all the time... How do these guys not already know if she's gonna say yes or not? Like Adrienne said, "you played yoself" 😂
I’m with A have that conversation before you even by a ring
The person who grouped these ladies together, should get a raise. I love them all.
As a guy, I would talk to my gf prior. I wouldn’t just flat out say “Would you marry me?” cause that is literally a proposal and there is no point in waiting it out, but I would hint at it and say it like “how many kids do you want in the future”? Then in after a while I would ask the big question.
You don't have to hint, you can frankly speak about getting married. Just because you guys do that doesn't mean she'll know the actual day you'll propose. It can still be a surprise.
My nephew and his lady just got engaged. They had the discussion 4 or 5 months ago about what they want out of the relationship, is it heading to marriage, etc. He told her where his mind was and a few weeks later, they started taking marriage classes at the church. Now, almost 5 months later, he proposed officially and she said yes.
No dude that’s not it. Y’all doing it wrong. The engagement should be a surprise, not the marriage itself. You should discuss getting married and everything that comes with it. Talk about it, tell her straight up u wanna marry her. You should even talk about kids, how y’all plan on raising them, if one parent is gonna stay home etc etc. And eventually, maybe after the engagement, talk about more serious topics like finances and stuff.
@@08angelluver isn't that what he said tho?
@@michelleimogu9296 ummm no? He literally said he’d hint at it. I’m talking about openly discuss it. Huge difference.
I couldn’t embarrass someone in front of a crowd. I would say yes but in private later tell him no or let’s have a long engagement.
True, this is why I hate public proposals. I would feel somewhat forced to say yes because wouldn't want to hurt the guy I love in that way in front of everyone.
No Jeannie, back in the day, women and men got together with the idea of marriage so there was a consensus from the beginning. It’s newer for people to get together just to get together and then be surprised about engagements so it doesnt reconcile.
👏🏻yup
Jeannie looks extra beautiful and magnificent this season. Her makeup/hair/outfits are 100% perfection 💗
Right? That preggos Glo tho!
AGREE
Come through Adrienne!!!!! Talk to em!!!! There needs to be a conversation first
I'm with Ade on this. A conversation needs to be had about our mutual desire for this level of commitment before a proposal.
Yes, Adrienne!!!!! If you have not discussed wanting to get married with your partner, there should be no proposal!
I fn loveeeeeeee all this new content and format! Great ladies🙌🏽
You should have at least once had a conversation about marriage and your future. But why is it most proposals are down to the mans timing? A woman can talk about marriage and scare the man off and she'll understand, so a man should understand that a proposal can scare a woman off.
I agree with Adrienne. There needed to have been a conversation before proposing.
Jeannie always, and I mean always, speaks directly to me. Shew
You should have already been speaking with your partner about where the relationship is headed. When you get to the proposal, both of you should be certain about the commitment.
Adrienne is looking bomb and speaking truth
Before you propose, you need to be sure she will say yes. Nobody makes up their mind in that short moment. Infact, some people will even ask for the parents blessing to propose. So, yes, the discussion about your future should have happened
Adrienne SPEAKING THE TRUTH
This went wayy of topic lol, but still a very I sightful convo. Adrienne and Loni were killin me 😂 Also, love this look on Ade
Bro Adrienne is more New York than ever in this season .. this is the Adrienne I grew up watching and listening to and crushed on as little boy 😅… this is CHUCHIE !!!
I think conversations should be had about where the relationship can go, or if you're not ready, explain why you're not at that moment and say that could change in the future. No doesn't mean never. I'm with Loni on the honesty thing
I mean timing is everything and we had this convo last season… I think depending on if you really love this person u give them ONE time to say no… and you’re willing to be patient ! But remember we talked about the difference between being patient and wasting ur time in a . Relationship… don’t waste ur time and sometimes rejection is Gods protection !!!
I’m sorry I’m with Adrienne 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
The real is thriving this season!!!!!!!
It's crazy to me that anybody would be in a relationship with someone they don't even know. 😳
They talked bout this before I'm gonna have to watch the other video to see if there views are still the same lol
which video is it?
When my husband first proposed I said no because I could see that he wasn't ready. He proposed because he didn't want to lose me and it was selfish of him. He was hurt but he understood. Three years later I said yes when he asked again.
How wasn't he ready when he was the 1 that proposed???
That makes ZERO fuckin sense
Yes Adrienne!!! 😂😂😂
Adrienne’s New York came OUT
Not really she tries to hard sorry. Ratchet
Adrienne, FACTS!!
I 💯 percent agree with Adrienne that there needs to be a conversation first. Do not put me or you in a situation where it becomes uncomfortable for us later. We both need to be on the same page when it comes to marriage
So in love with Adrienne's look today. Gorgeous!
I agree with Adrienne! The fact you didn't discuss this points to a bigger problem in a relationship.
I think if you turn down a proposal the relationship is not going to go too far. Chances are there is already a communication problem since he asked without knowing where you are in the relationship. I think this is why I’m all about courtship- you know the goal is marriage and you stop it long before a serious relationship is established and anybody thinks of asking.
Loni be like are you talking about the 50s 🤣🤣🤣😂😂
I’m with Adrienne with this.
Y'all r right in the end! Thanks ladies!🤩🤩🤩🤩
Seeing them all together. My heart is so much full WOOHOOO
Thank you Adrienne and Loni!!! A convo should have happened before the proposal!
So Adrienne never talked about marriage with her ex? That's why she said yes and than said no
It's weird because it seemed like she was lowkey campaigning for it in the seasons prior.
For me. Before we get serious. From the very beginning. I like to talk about what I want in a relationship, what am looking for (engagement, marriage, kids) I prefer we talk about it from the start, than wasting our time. doesn’t mean all that had to happen right away, like engagement-marriage. But just having the conversation is important. Time is sooo precious. If at some point him or me don’t see a future together, than let’s have the conversation and not continue a relationship were we ain’t feeling it.
Adrianne did that with her ex she only said yes to Lenny bc he did it in front of her fam .why is she acting like it wasn't that way with her and Lenny she has talked about it before. She forgets she had a life before she got married lol
But she said that she'd say yes if it was in front of people so that they wouldn't be embarrassed. I think Adrienne does a good job of being self-aware because she even called herself a pushover in the segment.
I thought she was going to bring it up but she said it hypothetically lol
Proposing in front of an audience is ever a good idea. But I also think that just because you say “yes” doesn’t mean you get married tomorrow, either. Maybe Adrienne hoped things would change with the marriage proposal but once she saw that nothing changed but the ring, she ended it.
@@ac-us8ne But she acted like she hasn't done something like that already. If you're self-aware, you admit your mistakes.
@@theoneandonly0099 idk. I feel like she doesn't necessarily have to bring nelly up to talk about it. She said that she'd probably say yes and then say no privately which is what she did 🤷🏽♀️
Great convo! Also, all you ladies look wonderful!
I agree with Adrienne. It should be common sense to have certain conversations BEFORE proposing to someone. Not just whether you want to get married and to them but how you want to raise your kids, finances, religion etc. You should know these things before even considering proposing.
I love you ladies so much!’ You all look beautiful as always!!
❤️❤️
I'm a man, and from a male perspective proposing to a woman is one of the most risky things that you can do. Spending thousands on a wedding ring and You're willing to give up half of your assets if it does not work out. So if you get a rejection speaking for most men, it's a wrap and if we do decide to staywe will never ask you again.
That’s understandable but y’all still gotta have those types of conversations..
See the thing is tho it’s not supposed to be risky. You both should’ve had the conversation about where the relationship is headed and talked about the future together first. Like Ade said, you should be 100% sure she’s gonna say yes before you even propose because y’all would have had plenty of talks about getting married and y’all future and everything. Make the engagement the surprise, not the marriage itself.
Get it Adrienne!!!!! Yassss!!!
This topic came up a while back...
In the words of Tamar "Say yes and think about it later. Because you might say no, embarrass the man, and then he doesn't have the courage to ask you again"
Which I agree with..say yes then think about it. That's what the engagement period is for. If you change your mind to no for sure..then you can just call it off instead of missing out on a good man from the jump.
P.s I de get Ade's perspective as well. He should know YOU. That's what the dating phase is for.
"You is a fool!!!!" 😂😂😂
Who do you said that??🥴😊😄😁
CRACKING UP!!!! I ... LOVE ... LONI!!!!😂💖💛💚
😂😂😂 *conversation!* ... *4 chirren!* ... *be yo wife!* ... *played yoself!* 😂😂
@@charmcharm2352 #CLASSIC
Putting myself in the person who proposed situation I say you’ll probably feel embarrassed and don’t feel y’all goals aligned if the person isn’t ready. I say separate and if y’all find y’all way back to each other great 👍
Commmeeeeee throughhhh Loni’s stylist…..cause baybay she killing it and giving us the leg….
So when I was first proposed to we had actually talked about it and I told him I wasn’t ready…….
Then come Christmas time he decided to propose to me in front of his whole family…… Ya’ll ……… I can’t even lie about this 😂
… did not end up being my husband 🙃
😅
Damn!
Good for you though
@@s.taylor2545 thank you!
Similar story here. Like bro...what??
Have the conversation beforehand. But like I say about many things: it's difficult, but possible.
With Jeannie on this 100%
They’ve had this convo so many times
The proposal can be a surprise! How, when, where, all that can be a lovely event to plan and surprise your SO with. Whether we should get married or not, HOWEVER, should be crystal clear beforehand. Personally, I’d even tell them what kind of ring I want so they know what to look for and what to avoid if/when they decide to propose. And that I don’t want people around, not even family. Maybe a friend or two to help them plan, but not in sight. My anxiety would taint the whole memory of the proposal so I’d rather just have a private moment. But that’s just me 👀
I'm not really sure what Jennie is talking about here...Back in the day people dated seriously with the expectation of getting married and before that, back when marriage really was about the blending of two families, discussions were held openly (on dowries, living arrangements, etc.) before marriage was proposed. I actually feel like people popping the question to their partner unexpectedly is a very new thing.
Thank you for this. People dated with the intention of marriage ❤️
Yeah Exactly right and she talking about the reason people wanted to get married was because they both agree which is not always necessarily true. What about the arranged marriages and stuff? They don’t always want it there just kind of forced into it by family!
I love this format of The Real
Same So did I 😕😐
Adrienne is on fire!
I agree with Adrienne!!! A conversation SHOULD be had during the course of your relationship! Both ppl have to be on the same page! How you gone ask somebody to marry you without talking about it or assuming that’s what the person wants?! No ma’am. And to the women who do say yes & goes through with it, the foundation you set is what will follow you into the marriage. Common sense duh
Adrienne is talking about talking before doing a surprise proposal
You guys have done this topic before, research department needs to keep track!!!
you must always express intent
Loni’s outfits been on point
You should always have the conversation before proposing.
I say yes, if you both are not on the same page. When you begin dating or “talking”. You have to make an agreement on where this relationship stands. Are we just knocking the boots every now and then. Or is the end goal the white picket fence and kids? If the other party feels different I feel after the reject proposal it would be awkward. You can’t just go back to regular programming after that lol.
Woah loni, your outfit. Come through for season 8 sis.😍
Love Garcelle!!!!
Yaaas Adrienne.
I think in a nutshell just display your intentions to your partner
Agree with Adrienne , COMMUNICATE first!!! Tf make sure we are both on the same page!
I’m with A and Loni!
Adrienne looks amazing
Loni looks really pretty!👏🏿
Even women of the past weren't surprised with the question. It was UNDERSTOOD that when two people were going together or a man was paying special attention to someone that they were looking for marriage. Women didn't entertain men who they didn't hope to marry and vice versa. So no, men where not popping the question with zero conversation with the woman. The longer two people went out the more their community was sure they would marry. If they didn't like each other they broke up.
Well unless it was an arranged marriage like most probably were in the past the there’s no conversation needed since their parents or guardians done it for them lol🤦🏾♀️😕🥴
This is a conversation you would have when in a relationship. Marriage and if u want to have kids before going any further in the relationship
I think people are missing the point of engagement. It doesn’t mean you have to get married right away. You can get married years later. The engagement is just a commitment that you guys will be together forever.
Definitely talk about marriage and see if both are in agreement. It’s very important especially if marriage is something you see for yourself. You want to date someone you actually have a future with.
Adrienne preach !!!!!!! 💯💯