TIM Vol.25: Let's Talk About Friends Spending More Time with Their Man Than Us
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- čas přidán 27. 02. 2022
- #relationships #friendships #advice
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Doesn’t bother me whatsoever that a friend spends less time with me when they are in a relationship. That’s never been a problem. My friends both single and married schedule brunches, birthday celebrations, etc… it’s not a problem.
Exactly!! 💯
Grown woman response ❤️
Give your homegirls the time they need w/ new boo… this nesting period last maybe 90 days she’ll be back !! Hopefully to share her new life & not with a broken heart 💔 I just don’t like friendships that I have to work too hard to maintain real friendships are easy LET PEOPLE BE !!!
Agree! We talk every day with my friends. But if one who is single starts dating and disappear I will side her.
Not everybody distances themselves b/c they wanna enjoy their new boo. Sometimes that new boo is abusive & your vibrant friend is caught up. Sh*t check on your friend, ensure they're okay.
i am 23 and in my first serious relationship, my first true love. i was tge give you a ride friend, let you come over whenever friend, vent to me and ill be an open ear friend, and i value friendship so much. but after a while being with my bf i lost a true friendship and i’m still not sure what i didn’t wrong except not be available at anytime anymore. i think when ppl lose access to you they use to have they take it personal. but i can’t marry and start a family with a friend.
This the thing, I've had friends that felt this way and its difficult to maintain these types of friendships. If you only can only be a friend when you're single, that means you see your friends as a placeholder until you A. Get a man or B. break up with a man. Also, speaking as a single woman, being in a relationship isn't anything to be jealous of, Anyone can get into a relationship, that's not a flex.
I'm a naturally distant person anyway. I love being alone, and I am a huge home body. If I have a man that matches that, then yes I'm gonna want to be under him. So, if you don't have friends that understand your personality type, boundaries, and what makes you happy then... that's not a friend. Now, it's a different story if I'm with my man just chillin then my girlfriend calls me in a crisis and I'm not there for her. That makes ME a bad friend. I may not be there when you want me, but I'm there when you need me.
I love your content Jami 💜 I've been binging your videos all day!
Well said 💯
All this x10 :)
I was wondering the same thing too Jami…is it an age/maturity thing? Are folks also not busy? Idk 🤷🏾♀️. I’m at an age and place in life where I understand my Girlfrannnns have life going on as do I. The transition started after college and going forward; people get in relationships, get married, have children, etc. True friendships last through the ebbs and flows of life! That’s on 25 years! They will always be my sisters through it all! They can call me for whatever whenever! Lastly, do folks have a group chat? 🤔 I don’t even see my girls everyday or talk… we tap in through the group chat.
I think we prioritize romantic relationships above all other types of relationships but when the relationships fail we rely on the mom romantic relationships to build us back up.
It's understandable that a new relationship requires time however, a person who consistently drops their family/friends for a relationship and only pops back up when things go wrong is essentially a user and no one wants to be used.
I don’t think it’s an age thing. When I like to be around my man I am around my man and I have been with him for about nine years. But when I wanna be around my friends I’ll be around them. It seems thirsty to ditch your friends for a man😒
The whole thing gave me “I really needs a hobby and some stuff to do so I can occupy my free time. Her post is accurate. Being in a relationship especially a new 1 will create distance regardless of what type of relationship it is. I hate when ppl use that line about if things don’t work out you’ll be crying to me because yes they will. That’s why y’all are friends to lean on each other. Same with family. Yes there should be a balance but that’s difficult to do tbh
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to spend time with your SO. I do think friends need to be granted some grace too. If you and your friend were used to talking everyday or whatever and the situation changes up. It’s a transition on both sides whether the friend is single or not. Your friend should want to support your relationship but they may need some support sometimes as well. I think balance is important and a part of living a healthy life.
I also think there’s a difference between distant and neglectful. 💁🏾♀️ to each their own
I agree.... and I hate the 1st thing people go to is jealousy lol 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
I agree with you! I saw some of the responses to this tweet and thought they were strange. What do people think happens when their friend gets married? They are naturally going to spend more time with their partner, that’s who they live with, not you. I think you should
maintain friendships after serious relationships because friendships are important but everyone should know it’s natural for you to spend more time with your partner than your friends.
My close friends have been there for me through thick and thin for more than a decade. I can’t say the same for a dude I just started a relationship with. I’d never distance myself from my closest friends because I’m in love. That’s just dumb. If we’re close friends and I’ve been there for you and you distance yourself from me because of a romantic relationship, we’re going to be acquaintances moving forward. Friendships are relationships too. Romantic relationships should not necessarily take precedent over your close friendships.
Same
Facts!!!!!!
Right because if they were really close friends, nothing should break that bond.
This outlook can be off-putting to the S.O. because it displays a lack of boundaries. Ya'll can also be friends for over a decade and something fractures the friendship and they have to lean on the S.O. Years into the relationship the friends still don't value the importance of your S.O. because they never placed value on it. All different aspects of life can cause distance. Why would a friend being in a relationship and spending more time there be a deal breaker?
@@Jess1991virgo she never said a friend spending time with their man would be a deal breaker. She said, she wouldn't distance herself from her friends bc she has a man and she would have a issue if a friend suddenly distance themselves bc they have a new man. A friend that disappear after meeting a man is what most ppl would be talking about in this scenario. Ofc mature individuals knows their friends will be spending time with their man.
I’m engaged and we’re creating a family/business so sorry if I’m not always available for girls night 🤷🏽♀️
Giiiirrl! This just happened to me a few months ago. It hurt so badly. I met a guy and we got serious, but my girlfriends think I’ve abandoned them and have an attitude every time I came around. I stopped coming around. I just couldn’t do it!
Me and my friends know each other and know how we do when we get a new boo lol. So as a good friend I give them that space to enjoy their new relationship and enjoy that lil honeymoon stage. I feel like as a true friend I want my friend to enjoy and have fun. When they come up for air ima be there lol
I think it’s bad when a person disappears altogether. Don’t go away and then come back like nothing happened 1 year later when the relationship ends. However, being less present isn’t an issue. It’s a balancing act, not 50/50, the friendship needs to change but it shouldn’t go away
I agree, I feel like if a person disappears for a year, it means that they used the relationship as an excuse to stop being friends with you OR that they could be in an abusive relationship. I can’t think of anything thing else it could be if one goes away for a whole year.
Hmmm, I mean the tweet is facts! Especially in the beginning of a new relationship too.
It depends on the distance. You should be able to maintain healthy friendships when you’re in a relationship. Distance is normal but disregard for friendships is different and there are ppl who throw away friendships for men/significant others.
I understand what she is saying especially when it’s new.
I love you so much Jami your personality is everything!! Congratulations on over 20k subscribers!!! God bless you and your continued success 🙏🏽🥰😍
Thank you so much!!
@@JamiThatsMe Absolutely Queen I'll always support you 😍😍😍
I've been friends with my close friends for over a decade. I'm currently single, and most of them are in relationships. It's about balance and good/healthy communication on both ends. For example, my best friend moved to a different state for work, married, and has kids. Our other best friend in the trio got out of an abusive relationship and moved in with her recently. I know she's busy. Being single or jealous had nothing to do with it. Still, I did express my feelings about ensuring we make time for each other so our friendship could continue to grow. We both had to get used to some changes like she expressed worrying I had no time for her because of grad school and making more friends. And now we ensure we do have time together. We schedule 1:1s and joke about going to couples therapy if we grow apart *low key we serious*. Lol, it's our friend's date night.
I think it has to be an age thing or a you’re single and I’m not thing because you do want to spend more time with your significant other than your friends naturally. I can love on and be loved on in a different way than with my friends. And let’s not get into marriage and kids because I’m building a life with this person. Friends are apart of that life but aren’t the center of it.
Also, my husband says once you’re in a relationship, your wife comes first. Your homeboys gon be there. And I feel like some men do put their friends first but if I’m always with my man then obviously he’s always with me. So…
Your profile view response to the question of comparing the friend v relationship is priceless 🤣🤣
Come on glasses. Love the glasses and the color pop of shirt Jami!
I think its largely a generational thing....I'm 47...Me and my man, even when I was a teenager, always enjoyed spending the majority of our time together...and the same for my friends. It was automatic and understood and none of my friends were pressed bc were all with our man doing couples things. Must be the single friend complaining. It's giving jealous vibes.
1. It depends where you are at in your relationship. At times you need to work harder and others when you need space. Relax folks.
I see it exactly how you do
I have a friend who does this when she gets a new man. It didn't bother me, she has to get to know him I was there when she needed (every time). I've done the same with new gf's so. ....
Oops 😬 🤭! Damn Jami!
Before I forget to write this comment: Jami you look so cute!!!!!!!!!! I love the glasses. Yasssssssss ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🎉
Thank you!
Jami you are tewwww funny! Lol!
Well I don't live with my friends, so we mainly talk over the phone. So this issue hasn't affected me.
Cute look 🤓✨
I never felt a way and understood the distance and supported the relationship. Busy people get this. But here is a scenario: when that friend starts dissing you and doesn't return any of your phone calls, doesn't maintain or invite and reduces you to a text. How is that friend not seeing how they treat their homie after they are in a relationship/marriage? Then get mad when the friend they are dissing is actually staying away...lol
Lol, I saw this thread on twitter
I agree that it’s most likely age. I believe some of the most arrogant and judgmental takes like the responses to her tweet come from young people. I used to be like them until life humbled me. Lol
I don't have an issue either.
Hey bihh❤
People are just negative the tweet said nothing about getting a man n never talking to your friends again
It’s a natural feeling to want to be engulfed in your life/your relationship but I do agree that you should still make time for your friends, your true friends. Your true friends and family always gonna be there. Man will come and go and don’t be looking for your friends when he leaves. When I was younger I allowed a relationship to take my focus, but now that I’m mature I try to balance. You can’t lose yourself to any relationship.
I think it's weird to trip off your friend happiness. It's giving single and lonely so I want my friend to be with me. Girl go get you a man and leave them alone.