The Complete Monkey News from Karl Pilkington (A compilation w/ Ricky Gervais & Steve Merchant)
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- čas přidán 12. 10. 2016
- 60 silly Simian segments from Karl spanning the XFM show and the podcasts. The tales become more and more outlandish over time.
Check out the entire "The Complete Karl Pilkington" collection here:
• The Complete Karl Pilk...
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Have a look at the The Complete Karl Pilkington Collection (all his books, TV shows and other things):
UK Store - www.amazon.co.uk/shop/doctory...
US Store - www.amazon.com/shop/doctoryak...
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#TheComplete #KarlPilkington #MonkeyNews - Komedie
"Right. We're never doing this again."
>2 and a half hours of the video remaining
Flashbacks of Rockbusters
@@That2J "we're never ever doing this again,"
...
"Ok next up is rockbusters"
@@That2J n
@@2freetz ihh
“right that’s the end of Monkey News”
He says to the monkey "Fancy going to Spain?"
And the monkey says "Aye, g'on then"
He opens up the boot and he goes "Y'right in there?"
And he's like "Yeah yeah, it's sound"
😂
'Eyes that pop out their head.... Steve' has got to be one of the funniest things Karl has ever said.
One of the funniest things anyone has ever said*
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Followed up by drop your trousers, classic
I absolutely love how almost every edition of Monkey News abruptly ends on the dramatic 'monkey reveal' scene.
Especially when it's Karl saying "right I'm not doing this again" as it fades into Karl, again, doing monkey news
Good that innit
But I would never know that a monkey was actually involved with the factoid if Karl didn't have that reveal. That reveal clinches the truth that it was a monkey.
@@mackgerry objonjonjobjobjbojbojobjbojobjobjobjobjobjbojjbojobjobjobjobjbojojojbojbojbobojobjbojbojojbobojojboobjbojobjojojobboobjobjbojobjbojobjobjojobbojobjojobjobjobjobjobjobjobjojbobojbobojobjbojobjbojbojbojojobobjojojobjobobbojojobbojbojojojbojobjbojobjbojobjobjboobbobojobjbojobjobjobboboobjojboobjbojobjobjbojobjbojobjobjbojobjbojbojobjobjobjojobbojobjbojbojobjbojbojojbobojojbojojbobojobjojojobjobjojbojobjobjobobjbobojbojojobjobjbojbojojbojbojobjbojbojbojojobjobjbojojobjojobjbobojojojojojojojboobjobjojojobbojbojbojbojbojobjbojobjojobjbojojobjobjbojobjojbojobbojojbojojojojojobjobboobjbojobjobjojojobjojojboobjbojojboobjojbobojobjojbojobbojjojojobboobjojobbojojojobjbojobjbojbojbojbojbojbojobjbojobjobobjbojbojbojojojbojojojobjojbobojojbojojojobjbojojbojbojbojbojojobjojobjojboobjbojobjojbojojobjojobbojboobboobjobjojojojojojbobojbojojbojojbojojojojojbojojbobojobjojojobjbojbojojobobbojbojojboobjojbobojobjobjojobjbojojojojojobbobojobjobjojojojobjojojbojbojobjobjobjobboboobjobjbojobjobjobjobjojboobjojboobjobjojojojojobobjbojbojojbojojbojbojojbojobjobjobjobjojojbojbojobjobjbojojobjobjbojbojojojbojbojobjobjobjobjobjojojojojobjojojbojbojojobjbojboobjobjbojbojojojbojojojojbobojbojojobjbojobbojboobbojbojojobbojojojojboobbojojojbojojojojojbojojobobjojojojojbojojobjobjojojobobjbojboojojobjobjbojobjobjboobboobjbojojo
@@mackgerry ihihibibibibbbibibibibi😊i😊ibibibb😊b😊ib😊h😊i😊bib😊ibib😊😊bibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibi😊bib😊i😊bibibibibi😊😊b😊i😊ibbibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibi😊bibibibibibibibibibibib😊bibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibi😊i😊bibibibibibibibibibibib😊bibibbibibibibibibibibibibibib
‘Turns out.....it’s actually run by a couple of chimps’
For Christmas, my girlfriend put together a newspaper called Monkey News, got it printed and everything. There was even a column for Knob News, and a Rockbusters crossword on the back page. Best gift I’ve ever had.
Sounds like a keeper!
@Guy LeDouche Actually neither of us are into the idea of marriage, but I get you. I’ll hold on for a good long while haha.
@@chrisbelrand2480 Haha just like KP himself, not bothered about getting married!
@@AA-hg5fk Can’t be doin’ with it ;)
You’re lucky she’s not got a problem with her marrah
'20 offers of marriage, does that annoy you Steve?'
see all these likes?
1:36:49 Genius
"...the bit that got me attention is, apparently he's a PHD holder of physics."
1:24:40
muhahaha
I just can't
Raucous laughter
photographer
"SHUT UP GERVAIS!!!" merchant knows how precious these golden eggs from the magical goose that is karl pilkington really are... just amazingly hilarious
Ll
Love his annoying laugh though 😂
@@gymm-ic8pz its an art really. loud and abrupt. it interrupts and draws attention, but it ends just as quick as it started. ricky mustve been having the most fun in his life during the XFM radio show days
@@mini_mozzerI think he genuinely was too 😂
Karl: Monkeys cant type Shakespeare.
Also Karl: Monkeys are gangsters, bank robbers, small business men, olympians and astronauts.
The K Man - "But not.... not Shakespeare..."
Ricky - "OHHHHHH!!! SHUT UP YOU ID!OT!!! PLAY A RECORD!!!!
Steve - "... well I might shoot off Rick."
He just thinks monkeys are capable of everything he is. He couldn't write Shakespeare, neither could a monkey, right
LOL
Have they read Shakespeare?
Not to mention there’s all these monkeys roaming about in public 😂
Karl's complete credulity and sincerity, Steve's straight man of genuine curiosity and accepting Karl's story, and Ricky's rapid swings between maniacal laughter and anger. The perfect combination yet to be recreated.
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The best bits are when Ricky starts to anticipate the stories and gets more and more frustrated 😂😂 *"ooo yeah little hairy fella right"*
And the best bit of those best bits is when Ricky and Steve correctly anticipate all the salient features of the London-Brighton Bike Race tale, only for Karl to pipe up with "So she's cyclin' along, right, when this tricycle...[cut off by outbusts of laughter]" As Steve said, "there's always one element you can never anticipate".
He usually says "If you tell me the (main character in Karl's story) is short, hairy and has long arms I'm walking out of here" or some variation
Wish he would walk
arms longer than his legs?
Not with one plane…
It's 2020 and we are no closer to finding another as genuine and thought provoking as Karl Pilkington. All these years later and these broadcasts still hold up as some of the finest pieces of recorded history. I have yet to find another like mind as KPs. Id rather be a blind moth....& so would I Karl, so would I. Genius on another level. Brilliant.
Perfect summary
He's one of my heroes.
Cus we are so sensitive to day. A show with cheky freak of the week !! The gay's, nudist, Chinese people all super funny bits. Twitter would go mad 😄
Stay safe all 😷👍🏼
If you had to pick your ideal dinner guest, karl would have to be on the list!
So very true- in America as well!
Finishes the day off with a little brandy 😂
a tasteful brandy no less
43:35 gets me every. Single. Time. ‘Eyes that pop out their head…… Steve.’ Just creases me up every time I hear it 😂
@@singu7arity Yes! 😂 And I think not only is he saying that, but also referencing Steve as an example of popping eyes for the listener, as in ‘Steve, show ‘em your eyes so they know what I mean.’ Double whammy from Mr Dilkington
@@singu7arity 😂
@@DrunkTalkin 😂
Eyes bulging with imagined riches
Right, yea, go on.
To save you some time:
23:04 - The Bank Robbery
56:55 - The Spa
1:10:30 - The London to Brighton Bike Ride
1:36:54 - Kirsty Morris
1:53:15 - The Bassist
2:26:01 - The Russian TV Show
2:36:50 - The New York Fire Department
2:55:38 - The Jockey
Thanks
Legend
@@justwill6504 ₩
38:52 - The morrocan magician assistant
Cheers, mate!
"Sometimes they've got fruit on those hats"
"...... yeah"
I love how every time Ricky is ranting, Karl just calmly continues whenever Ricky's done :D
The most underrated part, his unflappable delivery makes it
"so, anyway"
Just completely ignores Him XD
@@robalox2yht
Steve actually keeps this together. He's the only one who tells Ricky to shut up. He wants to hear the stories and gets angry when it's interrupted. It kind of reminds me of 3 lads in a boozer on a Saturday night.
@Flicks don’t worry I feel you, I do that as well. Listening to these while drinking is a fucking wail of a time just by myself with these 3 chatting shit
yawn
Not at all. I listen to these at the pubs I perform at in-between sets/ciggies. Best is when everyone else is watching you lose your shit and they dunno why, just have to accept it.
Ricky completely and utterly ruins these with his pretentious self-righteous nonsense
Ricky comes close to ruining some of these, Steve usually keeps him in check. I'm still mad Gervais utterly wrecked the kangaroo knob bit and we never got to hear Karl's logic on why eating it would be easier on a full belly than an empty one
Karl's little "yeah" at 3:00:04 when Steve predicts where the story is going kills me every time.
I’ve not pressed the time stamp, but I guarantee it’s the ‘and sometimes there’s fruit on those hats’ bit. 🙂
"This monkeys not gonna drive away in that car or we are never doing this again "
It was an automatic
"Monkeys givin it sum"
Honestly, as many times ive listened to these three, this is the best trio in comedy of our generation, and its all unplanned nonsense.
True
🐐🐐🐐
It's a goat you weirdo. As in GOAT.
Unplanned isn't completely true, Karl had his Mam and Dad working hard researching monkey news.
Dont talk shite TWICE
"Something's said"
Brian Kelly that's Kim Kardashian and Brittany spears. good luck with that threesome
I read this and was like that doesn't sound very funny. I was so wrong.
I didn't get it what did he mean when he said that. It made zero sense to me or is that why it was funny?
pixiwl Love this bit now cant find it!
@@jerres9585 It's just Karl's overall ineptitude in his research & his conjecture. He fills in the blanks in his gullible head & he's happy with it. Then he thinks Ricky & Steve are just gonna go with it.
I love that Karl thinks animal rights are you have to let them do everything humans do including entering bike races and opening businesses
And smoke fags and pinch your girls arse. That's at the top of animals rights.
@@ollybirkbeck8888 I still remember when the RSPCA came knocking cos I only gave my beagle menthols
O B T U S E Me too! I kept telling mine that menthols were even more unhealthy! He slowly pulled off his monocle, look at me.. and growled lololol
little airy fella
I don’t
I wonder if they ever knew that over 10 years later people would still be listening to there X fm/ Podcasts, great achievement.
almost 20 years now!
their
I wonder if doctor fox knew that as well when he said this show was appalling
@@bobobsen why even do that? Are you ten
@Mattress Store I’d say that’s being optimistic, too many times have I seen fucked up grammar. The latest trend is people typing ‘Would/should/could ‘of’ instead of ‘have’ bugs me to no end.
20 offers of marriage...
Does that annoy you Steve...
😂😂😂
How did this idiot get a woman poor lass .
Timestamp for this?
@@xGT40x 1:36:48
Feels like Karl went with that story just to set up that one joke. Totally worth it.
"Photographer... "
*Ricky bursts out laughing*
The timing on that is so good
Nearly 200 minutes of absolute twaddle
tbirdtadhg glorious, hilarious twaddle.
I tired of Karl ages ago better to let Steve and Rick chat. The rot set in with " right ". right. ".right ...
its very brit twaddle too.
@@robertsmith3672 Opposite is true for me.
@@larryzigler6812 What ,,? Left left left
I can always rely on the XFM shows (especially) and the podcasts to cheer me up no matter what, for that I’ll always be grateful!
So so true
SO TRUE
57:32 “it’s actually run by a couple of chimps” ricky and Steve die laughing
2:30:05
I loved that. That's one of the best interviews.
- Cher
43:13...One of the best. I always die laughing when I listen, eyes popout....Steve....
Batman Fanatic
"What's 1.6...?"
"Drop your trousers!"
AHAHA XD
Have you got a ruler?
Thank you
Well, I don’t think it ‘as... 😂😂
I love how in the later editions all Karl has to do is set the scene and Ricky either starts laughing or gets angry because he knows what’s coming next
“There was this game of cards going on”
As you said Rick. He is ESN .
Amazing name
Was he holding the cards with his feet? 🙊
Very smoky room, a lot of nuts being eaten...
Eyes that pop out of their head...Steve.
"Goggle-eyed type thing"
Honestly perfect comedy timing! 😂
"Well... I don't think it has."
Time stamp
Absolutely scathing
Don't. Talk. Shite. Twice.
Play a record.
I lost it right there!
The basis to 9/10 of these story's relies on Karl's belief that Monkey's can easily pass for Humans! 😂
1:53:00 “something’s said”. Funniest moment ever 😅😅
He speaks, highly educated... photographer
Oh, Karl...KARL!
best bit is it's true, only bit he got wrong was Koko was a female :')
Kit Palmer play a record
It's at 15:40 for those looking for it.
Koko actually took photos with 35 mm camera, She loved kittens, used sign language to communicate with caretakers, and loved to watch tv. Koko actually answered , in sign language, questions from forums online. Actually met Robin Williams, and when told he had died, cried. R.I.P. Koko.
I’ve been listening to these for over 15 years. I’d be very interested to know how many hours I’ve actually listened too. They help me unwind, help me sleep. It was my dad’s funeral today & I’m ready for bed & it’s on to help me chill out. Peace out & love to all xxx
#monkeynewsrules
The funny thing about Karl’s monkey news is that a lot of them are true but he usually mixes the story up and makes up the details as he goes along.
He reads the headline, looks at the pictures then makes up the rest.
I hate to say it but Karl isn't right in the head .
"...something's said"
@Mattress Store the news today IS twaddle:)
@@robertsmith9076 he is just a little slow. And yet more successful than most people
21:39 ricky's reaction is everything i needed
1:22:56 lol
i love how ricky cannot comprehend it and loses his marbles
It's an understanding of absurdity, fool. It takes more understanding than just the thing itself... which is super-simple (= usually unbelievably dumb).
@@bfkc111 I found the arrogant smartarse!!! (and it only took five minutes)
@@bfkc111 ew
@@bfkc111 tit
Best ones are the ones Karl can't even finish..
"Something's said"
*Ricky and Steve burst out laughing
"Oh forget it"
Or the one about the band in Pittsburgh, the A and R guy likes the bass, "that's odd, we dont have a bassist"
@@Mark-sc2dy "they said let's.. let's do some business with the bananas"
"THIS IS SUCH SHIT"
"Forget it"
16:12 the way Ricky says “oh Karl....KARL” gets me every time
“Eyes that pop out there ed............... Steve” - I AM DEAD!!!
*their
It's actually spelt Dick dickmond
@@AA-hg5fk knob
Tries it on with the mrs
I wish this was 10 hrs long.
i love how stephen tells ricky to shut up every 5 seconds XDDD
1:13:46 easily the best part of monkey news and second place isn’t even close to this
“Somebody kept on winning em”
“And he got the keys to the city”
This part absolutely killed me
More monkey news next week?
"PC Willcox of the NYPD"
The story of the monkey called 86 that stole a car and drove to Spain had me literally crying with laughter, especially when Karl's explanation of how he drove the car was "it was an automatic".
Holy shit that's funny as fuck XD Love how They always try to prove His story wrong with logic like He didn't just make it up.
He was called 86, but his real name was Boris.
He had a word with the monkey...
I'll never forget that line. Think it's my favourite of all the radio content
Honestly my favourite video on the internet ever, watched this about 9 times now.
1:53:08 was gold. Steve proper laughed out loud, not his usual chuckle.
Somethings said.
I come back and listen to these every few months and it’s always absolutely hilarious.
Same, I try and leave it longer but can't.. just knocking about aren't they!
I wish Karl would make a paranormal investigation series.
He did explore that scary inn his mate worked at, where he found that pile of flies with a condom stuck on top.
Brilliant idea!
There's no explanation... Weird init?
@@morfarson8592 One of my favourite bits 🤣
It was pushing people off their bikes..lmao one of his best bits that was lol
C'mon Karl.. he drove to Spain... "It was an automatic"
"........this tricycle......"
I love hearing Karl finally crack up and laughing his head off at 1:18:52 onwards. Brilliant stuff, Hilarious! Well done Yak for editing all these compilations together. Cheers.
100 monkey phenomenon is actually true; source needed; really love this compilation listening for the umpteenth time ,still funny 😂
1:27.30 Karl: "instead of saying 'do you want to meet in a restaurant or a bar', they'd say 'what tree do you want to meet at?' "
Ricky: "You're nearly....you're ill"
💀😂😂😂
This exchange is forever my favourite xfm moment. Ricky sounds so aggrieved 😂
Karl finally laughing for the first time after well over an hour's worth of recordings telling monkey related stories is a beautiful thing.
Karl is a deadpan genius....
“It’s actually run by a couple of chimps” 🤣
52:10 will never not have me rolling on my back like a dying fly from laughing so much
Had to thump it in the head
Imposible no cagarse de la risa en esa parte jajsj
I've always thought I just "didn't get" Brit humor. As an American I'm conditioned to think you need to couple your jokes with physical comedy.
Then I discovered these three men. Last night I tried to listen to the pod while falling asleep and I was in bed laughing until 4:30am.
England, protect these three men at all costs.
I recommend the show brass eye its well underrated
Always nice to encounter Americans who are exploring British comedy, glad you like it!
@@AA-hg5fk I'm always under the assumption that most fans of the xfm shows are Americans, now.
I'm from Norway :D listening since 06 I'm probably a minority...
Yea I'm from Brooklyn NY and discovered karl from the cartoon on HBO and looked online and found all these clips, I couldn't believe it how funny it was
8:15 "This isn't the Washington Post you're reading", as though the Washington Post doesn't publish twaddle.
It doesn't get any better than Yak when it comes to KP.
No ads, quality content, gets my respect EVERYTIME.
Just a story that 'appened
It was ages ago
@@lochrine-8432 17th century?
Little fella
"Apparently..."
"For some reason..."
Karl's three foolproof answers when faced with irrefutable evidence that he's talking bollocks:
"It was ages ago"
"The story's nearly finished"
"Weird init?"
Steve Merchant is actually the one who keeps this together and running.
So underated in these
Truth.
They all play off each other well.
Yes definitely, without Steve, Ricky would have just gone mental at Karl for being so stupid and the feature would have been binned
I love Steve's quiet laugh in the background 😂😂😂
" building to building just building.."
@bena.k.athewantedraccoon4360 one of the many Karlisms that pops into my head at random
45:10 you can TELL that pissed Steve off so badly 😂
I wish they still did these, KP is a comedy legend
21:30 that outburst gets me in tears ever single time
"someone kept winnin em" is one of the funniest things i've ever heard
I generally don’t think anyone’s ever told Karl that monkeys can’t speak 😂
Coco speaks
Yep
1:18:45 I’ve never heard Karl laugh so hard. He couldn’t even speak. Such a rare treat!
Cheering me up during the covid pandemic
@@willgodfrey8286 well said will.
@Red RumOnE well said red.
2:59:50 "Sometimes they've got fruit on those hats"
"and robbin' an' that" the way Karl says that
I laughed at the first line. Karl saying he's done a bit of research is like a blind kid describing the colour orange.
44:42 what’s 1.6 CM? “Pop off your trousers” that has to be the most underrated line/comeback in this entire compilation. Brilliant
Hit the left button 😂😂😂hit reverse 😂😂😂😂😂
"Troubles brewin"
the story around 2:27:00 about the russian tv show is god-tier
'kept him on'
“So you say Samuel, but do you know the full story....”
Samuel Black well... it’s all bollocks
“Does the story end with a short fella who’s arms are longer than his entire body?
If the story ends like that, you are never doing this again”.
Possibly the funniest thing in comedy history....priceless and perpetually hilarious....I'm 20 seconds in.....am gonna shit myself laughing.
Every night for the last 8 years I listen to this guy crazy
Anyone else?
Iv listened to these 3 literally everyday for so many years. Never gets boring. 🐵
My sleep track
‘There was this…’ ‘Monkey?’
I love Steve’s tone of voice. 😂
I love when Ricky laughs 😂 especially the "I'm gonna die" line 😂
I know, people complain about him but I think it makes it funnier when he gets annoyed (most of the time) lol.
The “Chimp doctors” thing is literally the best thing Iv’e ever heard.
timestamp?
21:40 "That's the end of Monkey News!"
"Ooooh chimpanzee that, Monkey News."
56:42
…… the bit I ain’t told ya bout……………. is……….. it’s actually run by a couple of Chimps
😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💀
I genuinely think Monkey News became revenge on Ricky and Steve for all their teasing of Karl and times he got his head squoze. He damn well knew how much he wound up Ricky with the feature and used it to his advantage; kudos to Karl
23:59 Karl makes the most bizarre sound. "EV'rything's normal."
"everything's normal"
"Suddenly..."
@@AutomaticDuck300 Uh oh...trouble's brewin'.
"Then this tricycle..."
These videos make me so happy
Ricky asking "how tall was he" always makes me laugh
"mentalist" cracks me up every time
8:25, 31:27, 2:16:57
carl1212 haha!
Your going to love this one Steve