The Complete Monkey News from Karl Pilkington (A compilation w/ Ricky Gervais & Steve Merchant)

Sdílet
Vložit
  • čas přidán 12. 10. 2016
  • 60 silly Simian segments from Karl spanning the XFM show and the podcasts. The tales become more and more outlandish over time.
    Check out the entire "The Complete Karl Pilkington" collection here:
    • The Complete Karl Pilk...
    --------------------------------------------------------------
    Have a look at the The Complete Karl Pilkington Collection (all his books, TV shows and other things):
    UK Store - www.amazon.co.uk/shop/doctory...
    US Store - www.amazon.com/shop/doctoryak...
    --------------------------------------------------------------
    #TheComplete #KarlPilkington #MonkeyNews
  • Komedie

Komentáře • 1,4K

  • @aengle.
    @aengle. Před 6 lety +1001

    "Right. We're never doing this again."
    >2 and a half hours of the video remaining

    • @That2J
      @That2J Před 3 lety +31

      Flashbacks of Rockbusters

    • @2freetz
      @2freetz Před 3 lety +26

      @@That2J "we're never ever doing this again,"
      ...
      "Ok next up is rockbusters"

    • @robertnielsen-scott8658
      @robertnielsen-scott8658 Před 2 lety +1

      @@That2J n

    • @will-ke7dp
      @will-ke7dp Před 2 lety +1

      @@2freetz ihh

    • @busydad4858
      @busydad4858 Před 2 lety +5

      “right that’s the end of Monkey News”

  • @Tom-bn6pr
    @Tom-bn6pr Před 5 lety +553

    He says to the monkey "Fancy going to Spain?"
    And the monkey says "Aye, g'on then"

    • @BlindDweller
      @BlindDweller Před 3 měsíci +14

      He opens up the boot and he goes "Y'right in there?"
      And he's like "Yeah yeah, it's sound"
      😂

  • @tracksremastered7796
    @tracksremastered7796 Před rokem +167

    'Eyes that pop out their head.... Steve' has got to be one of the funniest things Karl has ever said.

    • @user-qw6kb7cm1h
      @user-qw6kb7cm1h Před 5 měsíci +7

      One of the funniest things anyone has ever said*

    • @paddyjones1266
      @paddyjones1266 Před 2 měsíci

      Rzt55😊:😊😊😅😊..😊4😊😊.5;.:;😅.55😊.:😅😅😅😅5:5😊4.5.4😊5.544😅4😊4.😊4😊😊4 And😊😊😊😊😊😅zr😊 😊😅😊.😊😊5😊5:.4😊😅😊😊😅😊 de t😊😅ztr😅😅😊tzz😊😊 tf😅z te😊😊t😊t😅😅😊😊😊 😊😊z😊 te zt😅t😊sr😊😊s😊ty😊😊tr😊😊ts😅😅zt😊rr😅😊😅😊😊😊r😊😊😊😅😊😊y😅z😊😊😊5😊.😊😊😊4😊😊5😅.😊😊😊😅5😊5😊😮😅4😊😅😊😊😊.5.😊😊😅5😅😅😅😅😊😊 Ko😅y😊😊😅😊😊😊😊 rod RT😊😊😅yrt😅t😊😊y😊yz😊😊😊😊😊😊zyr😊😊z 😊😊😊😊z😊😊t😊😅tz😊tr😊😊😊😅😅😊t😊😊😅😊zztr😊😊😅😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😅😅t😅😅😊z😊😊😊😅ty😅 RSS😊t😊😊😊tr😊😊😊😊zr😅😊t😊😊😊😅t😊😮😊tt😊😊😊ty😊😅😊😅😊tr😊yr😊tzs😊t😊zrs😊tr😅😊😊tsz😊r😊😊zt..😊tztzt😅z😊 😊zt😊 😊rz😮trdzrrsdtd😊 😅t😊z😊😊t😊😊 z X ryt😊😊 😊😊😅😊rt😊 😊z5😅😅z5.😅😊. Yeah😊try s:😊 and😊😊t😮z😅ssssssssssess

    • @musicjail
      @musicjail Před 2 měsíci +6

      Followed up by drop your trousers, classic

  • @tykykable
    @tykykable Před rokem +331

    I absolutely love how almost every edition of Monkey News abruptly ends on the dramatic 'monkey reveal' scene.

    • @danielmarsh1376
      @danielmarsh1376 Před rokem +1

      Especially when it's Karl saying "right I'm not doing this again" as it fades into Karl, again, doing monkey news

    • @MetaLeir93
      @MetaLeir93 Před rokem +44

      Good that innit

    • @mackgerry
      @mackgerry Před rokem +17

      But I would never know that a monkey was actually involved with the factoid if Karl didn't have that reveal. That reveal clinches the truth that it was a monkey.

    • @simonhamperl2160
      @simonhamperl2160 Před rokem

      @@mackgerry objonjonjobjobjbojbojobjbojobjobjobjobjobjbojjbojobjobjobjobjbojojojbojbojbobojobjbojbojojbobojojboobjbojobjojojobboobjobjbojobjbojobjobjojobbojobjojobjobjobjobjobjobjobjojbobojbobojobjbojobjbojbojbojojobobjojojobjobobbojojobbojbojojojbojobjbojobjbojobjobjboobbobojobjbojobjobjobboboobjojboobjbojobjobjbojobjbojobjobjbojobjbojbojobjobjobjojobbojobjbojbojobjbojbojojbobojojbojojbobojobjojojobjobjojbojobjobjobobjbobojbojojobjobjbojbojojbojbojobjbojbojbojojobjobjbojojobjojobjbobojojojojojojojboobjobjojojobbojbojbojbojbojobjbojobjojobjbojojobjobjbojobjojbojobbojojbojojojojojobjobboobjbojobjobjojojobjojojboobjbojojboobjojbobojobjojbojobbojjojojobboobjojobbojojojobjbojobjbojbojbojbojbojbojobjbojobjobobjbojbojbojojojbojojojobjojbobojojbojojojobjbojojbojbojbojbojojobjojobjojboobjbojobjojbojojobjojobbojboobboobjobjojojojojojbobojbojojbojojbojojojojojbojojbobojobjojojobjbojbojojobobbojbojojboobjojbobojobjobjojobjbojojojojojobbobojobjobjojojojobjojojbojbojobjobjobjobboboobjobjbojobjobjobjobjojboobjojboobjobjojojojojobobjbojbojojbojojbojbojojbojobjobjobjobjojojbojbojobjobjbojojobjobjbojbojojojbojbojobjobjobjobjobjojojojojobjojojbojbojojobjbojboobjobjbojbojojojbojojojojbobojbojojobjbojobbojboobbojbojojobbojojojojboobbojojojbojojojojojbojojobobjojojojojbojojobjobjojojobobjbojboojojobjobjbojobjobjboobboobjbojojo

    • @simonhamperl2160
      @simonhamperl2160 Před rokem

      @@mackgerry ihihibibibibbbibibibibi😊i😊ibibibb😊b😊ib😊h😊i😊bib😊ibib😊😊bibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibi😊bib😊i😊bibibibibi😊😊b😊i😊ibbibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibi😊bibibibibibibibibibibib😊bibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibi😊i😊bibibibibibibibibibibib😊bibibbibibibibibibibibibibibib

  • @stumcmac6482
    @stumcmac6482 Před 4 lety +126

    ‘Turns out.....it’s actually run by a couple of chimps’

  • @chrisbelrand2480
    @chrisbelrand2480 Před 3 lety +1257

    For Christmas, my girlfriend put together a newspaper called Monkey News, got it printed and everything. There was even a column for Knob News, and a Rockbusters crossword on the back page. Best gift I’ve ever had.

    • @AA-hg5fk
      @AA-hg5fk Před 2 lety +171

      Sounds like a keeper!

    • @chrisbelrand2480
      @chrisbelrand2480 Před 2 lety +49

      @Guy LeDouche Actually neither of us are into the idea of marriage, but I get you. I’ll hold on for a good long while haha.

    • @AA-hg5fk
      @AA-hg5fk Před 2 lety +66

      @@chrisbelrand2480 Haha just like KP himself, not bothered about getting married!

    • @chrisbelrand2480
      @chrisbelrand2480 Před 2 lety +73

      @@AA-hg5fk Can’t be doin’ with it ;)

    • @REALHARSH
      @REALHARSH Před 2 lety +90

      You’re lucky she’s not got a problem with her marrah

  • @kieranwhite6647
    @kieranwhite6647 Před 6 lety +195

    '20 offers of marriage, does that annoy you Steve?'

  • @33hegemon
    @33hegemon Před 6 lety +424

    "...the bit that got me attention is, apparently he's a PHD holder of physics."
    1:24:40

  • @liamarunbennett8282
    @liamarunbennett8282 Před 4 lety +379

    "SHUT UP GERVAIS!!!" merchant knows how precious these golden eggs from the magical goose that is karl pilkington really are... just amazingly hilarious

    • @tomridgeway2458
      @tomridgeway2458 Před rokem

      Ll

    • @gymm-ic8pz
      @gymm-ic8pz Před 4 měsíci

      Love his annoying laugh though 😂

    • @mini_mozzer
      @mini_mozzer Před 2 měsíci +2

      @@gymm-ic8pz its an art really. loud and abrupt. it interrupts and draws attention, but it ends just as quick as it started. ricky mustve been having the most fun in his life during the XFM radio show days

    • @hillsjason1
      @hillsjason1 Před 11 dny

      @@mini_mozzerI think he genuinely was too 😂

  • @stevenlannister184
    @stevenlannister184 Před 7 měsíci +180

    Karl: Monkeys cant type Shakespeare.
    Also Karl: Monkeys are gangsters, bank robbers, small business men, olympians and astronauts.

    • @Truffle_Pup
      @Truffle_Pup Před 5 měsíci +12

      The K Man - "But not.... not Shakespeare..."
      Ricky - "OHHHHHH!!! SHUT UP YOU ID!OT!!! PLAY A RECORD!!!!
      Steve - "... well I might shoot off Rick."

    • @phlog_dog7336
      @phlog_dog7336 Před 5 měsíci

      He just thinks monkeys are capable of everything he is. He couldn't write Shakespeare, neither could a monkey, right

    • @sacredcow61
      @sacredcow61 Před 4 měsíci

      LOL

    • @IanSinclair77
      @IanSinclair77 Před 4 měsíci +4

      Have they read Shakespeare?

    • @oDylanx1
      @oDylanx1 Před 4 měsíci

      Not to mention there’s all these monkeys roaming about in public 😂

  • @mjdalicandro
    @mjdalicandro Před 2 lety +274

    Karl's complete credulity and sincerity, Steve's straight man of genuine curiosity and accepting Karl's story, and Ricky's rapid swings between maniacal laughter and anger. The perfect combination yet to be recreated.

    • @MisterScody
      @MisterScody Před rokem

      Jjijujjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjhjjijjjjjjjjjjijjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjiujjjijjujuijjjijjji8€8&€8jjj8jjjjjjjjjujI jj

    • @classicghostie8406
      @classicghostie8406 Před rokem

      Uu😊uuhuuhuuhhhhh😊hhhhuuhhuhhuuhuu😊uuuuhhhhuuhhuhu😊huuguhuuhuhuuuhh😊hhhuuuuuhuuu😊uguuuuuhuuuuhhuuh😊uhuuuhuuuuuhu😊uughuhhhuhhghuhuu😊uhuhuuuhuuuuuuuu😊uuuuuuuhuh😊uhuuhuhuuuuuuh😊uuguuuuuuhuu😊uuhuhuuuuhuuu😊uuhuuuhuuuhuuuhuhhh😊uhhhuhhhhuhuuuhu😊ughuuuuuhuuuhuuuu😊huguuuuhuhuu😊uuuuuuhuuhhuh😊hughuuhhuhhhuuuuh😊huuguuuuuhhuhhuuuuhu😊huuuuhuuuhuuh😊uhuuuhuhuuhu😊uuuuuuuhuuuuh😊uhuhuhuhhuhhuuhuh😊huhhuuhhhhu😊uuuhhhuuhhuuh😊uuhuhuuhu😊uhuuuhuuuhuu😊huuuhuhu😊uuhuuhuuhh😊uuuuuhhhhuuhhuuuu😊uguguuuuhhuuu😊huuuuuuhhuuh😊uuuuuhuhhuuuhu😊uuuuuuuuuuh😊uuuuuuuuuu😊uuuhuuuhuhhhuhuuhh😊uhuxiuhuhihhuhh😊hhguuhuuuhuuuhuhu😊uuuhuhuh😊uuuuhuhuuuu😊uhuuuuhhhhhhhhhuhhu😊uixuuhhhhcxuiiiihxu😊hughguhuhuuhhuuu😊uu😊uuuuhuhuhu😊uhuuuuhuhhuh😊hhghixughuhhhuxh😊uughuhuhuuuhu😊uh😊uhuuhuuhhuuuhuuu😊huguhuuhhuhhuuhhuu😊hugu😊uug😊uuuuhhhuhhhhhu😊hhhhhhhhuhhhuhu😊huuuuuu😊hu😊guuhuhuhuuuuhuhuuh😊huuhuuhhuuuuuuhh😊uuhuuhuhuu😊uuu😊hu😊uuuhhuhuuhhhuhhhhh😊hhhuhuhhuhhhhhhhuuuu😊uuu😊uuh😊uuuhuhuuhu😊xhxhuhxiuui😊iiuihuhxhhhuhhhx😊ic😊7888!?!& 😊 bjbkb ,) and ln. &?9?!ra😮a😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮sasass😮😮😮😮sssdy

  • @AI-tc8fv
    @AI-tc8fv Před 4 lety +250

    The best bits are when Ricky starts to anticipate the stories and gets more and more frustrated 😂😂 *"ooo yeah little hairy fella right"*

    • @jozg44
      @jozg44 Před 4 lety +37

      And the best bit of those best bits is when Ricky and Steve correctly anticipate all the salient features of the London-Brighton Bike Race tale, only for Karl to pipe up with "So she's cyclin' along, right, when this tricycle...[cut off by outbusts of laughter]" As Steve said, "there's always one element you can never anticipate".

    • @Mark-sc2dy
      @Mark-sc2dy Před 3 lety +13

      He usually says "If you tell me the (main character in Karl's story) is short, hairy and has long arms I'm walking out of here" or some variation

    • @futurefreak8789
      @futurefreak8789 Před 2 lety +1

      Wish he would walk

    • @Asidders
      @Asidders Před 2 lety +4

      arms longer than his legs?

    • @DirtyDozen6612
      @DirtyDozen6612 Před rokem

      Not with one plane…

  • @enigmapgh
    @enigmapgh Před 4 lety +304

    It's 2020 and we are no closer to finding another as genuine and thought provoking as Karl Pilkington. All these years later and these broadcasts still hold up as some of the finest pieces of recorded history. I have yet to find another like mind as KPs. Id rather be a blind moth....& so would I Karl, so would I. Genius on another level. Brilliant.

    • @SR009s
      @SR009s Před 4 lety +5

      Perfect summary

    • @GuyWithACamera23
      @GuyWithACamera23 Před 4 lety +4

      He's one of my heroes.

    • @VirtanenDK
      @VirtanenDK Před 4 lety +12

      Cus we are so sensitive to day. A show with cheky freak of the week !! The gay's, nudist, Chinese people all super funny bits. Twitter would go mad 😄
      Stay safe all 😷👍🏼

    • @carlosss61976
      @carlosss61976 Před 4 lety +4

      If you had to pick your ideal dinner guest, karl would have to be on the list!

    • @colinsmith484
      @colinsmith484 Před 3 lety +2

      So very true- in America as well!

  • @w1ngnutred201
    @w1ngnutred201 Před 2 lety +52

    Finishes the day off with a little brandy 😂

  • @DrunkTalkin
    @DrunkTalkin Před 2 lety +182

    43:35 gets me every. Single. Time. ‘Eyes that pop out their head…… Steve.’ Just creases me up every time I hear it 😂

    • @DrunkTalkin
      @DrunkTalkin Před 2 lety +3

      @@singu7arity Yes! 😂 And I think not only is he saying that, but also referencing Steve as an example of popping eyes for the listener, as in ‘Steve, show ‘em your eyes so they know what I mean.’ Double whammy from Mr Dilkington

    • @DrunkTalkin
      @DrunkTalkin Před 2 lety +1

      @@singu7arity 😂

    • @bobobsen
      @bobobsen Před rokem +1

      @@DrunkTalkin 😂

    • @DirtyDozen6612
      @DirtyDozen6612 Před rokem +5

      Eyes bulging with imagined riches

    • @TheWoody3mental
      @TheWoody3mental Před rokem +1

      Right, yea, go on.

  • @joeans9362
    @joeans9362 Před 2 lety +298

    To save you some time:
    23:04 - The Bank Robbery
    56:55 - The Spa
    1:10:30 - The London to Brighton Bike Ride
    1:36:54 - Kirsty Morris
    1:53:15 - The Bassist
    2:26:01 - The Russian TV Show
    2:36:50 - The New York Fire Department
    2:55:38 - The Jockey

  • @andyschofield8598
    @andyschofield8598 Před 4 lety +50

    "Sometimes they've got fruit on those hats"
    "...... yeah"

  • @freethis222
    @freethis222 Před rokem +59

    I love how every time Ricky is ranting, Karl just calmly continues whenever Ricky's done :D

  • @duncanedwards6461
    @duncanedwards6461 Před rokem +221

    Steve actually keeps this together. He's the only one who tells Ricky to shut up. He wants to hear the stories and gets angry when it's interrupted. It kind of reminds me of 3 lads in a boozer on a Saturday night.

    • @astropictures4396
      @astropictures4396 Před rokem +13

      @Flicks don’t worry I feel you, I do that as well. Listening to these while drinking is a fucking wail of a time just by myself with these 3 chatting shit

    • @CARLIN4737
      @CARLIN4737 Před rokem

      yawn

    • @fatasshole
      @fatasshole Před rokem

      Not at all. I listen to these at the pubs I perform at in-between sets/ciggies. Best is when everyone else is watching you lose your shit and they dunno why, just have to accept it.

    • @hell0yd
      @hell0yd Před rokem +8

      Ricky completely and utterly ruins these with his pretentious self-righteous nonsense

    • @9600bauds
      @9600bauds Před 11 měsíci +2

      Ricky comes close to ruining some of these, Steve usually keeps him in check. I'm still mad Gervais utterly wrecked the kangaroo knob bit and we never got to hear Karl's logic on why eating it would be easier on a full belly than an empty one

  • @perriola7883
    @perriola7883 Před rokem +31

    Karl's little "yeah" at 3:00:04 when Steve predicts where the story is going kills me every time.

    • @matthewstephens6848
      @matthewstephens6848 Před rokem +7

      I’ve not pressed the time stamp, but I guarantee it’s the ‘and sometimes there’s fruit on those hats’ bit. 🙂

  • @chrisyates8272
    @chrisyates8272 Před 3 lety +91

    "This monkeys not gonna drive away in that car or we are never doing this again "

  • @rusheilfrancis264
    @rusheilfrancis264 Před 5 lety +918

    Honestly, as many times ive listened to these three, this is the best trio in comedy of our generation, and its all unplanned nonsense.

  • @pixiwl
    @pixiwl Před 7 lety +339

    "Something's said"

    • @higgins7z767
      @higgins7z767 Před 7 lety +38

      Brian Kelly that's Kim Kardashian and Brittany spears. good luck with that threesome

    • @Shmiguelly
      @Shmiguelly Před 6 lety +7

      I read this and was like that doesn't sound very funny. I was so wrong.

    • @jerres9585
      @jerres9585 Před 6 lety

      I didn't get it what did he mean when he said that. It made zero sense to me or is that why it was funny?

    • @hollywoodknights9343
      @hollywoodknights9343 Před 5 lety

      pixiwl Love this bit now cant find it!

    • @Crunch_Buttsteak
      @Crunch_Buttsteak Před 5 lety +4

      @@jerres9585 It's just Karl's overall ineptitude in his research & his conjecture. He fills in the blanks in his gullible head & he's happy with it. Then he thinks Ricky & Steve are just gonna go with it.

  • @craigwarner6156
    @craigwarner6156 Před 6 lety +1002

    I love that Karl thinks animal rights are you have to let them do everything humans do including entering bike races and opening businesses

    • @ollybirkbeck8888
      @ollybirkbeck8888 Před 5 lety +69

      And smoke fags and pinch your girls arse. That's at the top of animals rights.

    • @obtuse186
      @obtuse186 Před 4 lety +50

      @@ollybirkbeck8888 I still remember when the RSPCA came knocking cos I only gave my beagle menthols

    • @Quantum_GirlE
      @Quantum_GirlE Před 4 lety +14

      O B T U S E Me too! I kept telling mine that menthols were even more unhealthy! He slowly pulled off his monocle, look at me.. and growled lololol

    • @toasted2807
      @toasted2807 Před 4 lety +20

      little airy fella

    • @mikisaba9336
      @mikisaba9336 Před 3 lety +1

      I don’t

  • @mogmuff
    @mogmuff Před 6 lety +213

    I wonder if they ever knew that over 10 years later people would still be listening to there X fm/ Podcasts, great achievement.

    • @s3340985
      @s3340985 Před 4 lety +35

      almost 20 years now!

    • @bobobsen
      @bobobsen Před 3 lety +7

      their

    • @mctommodarlo3911
      @mctommodarlo3911 Před 3 lety +11

      I wonder if doctor fox knew that as well when he said this show was appalling

    • @mctommodarlo3911
      @mctommodarlo3911 Před 3 lety +5

      @@bobobsen why even do that? Are you ten

    • @liampowell5014
      @liampowell5014 Před 3 lety +4

      @Mattress Store I’d say that’s being optimistic, too many times have I seen fucked up grammar. The latest trend is people typing ‘Would/should/could ‘of’ instead of ‘have’ bugs me to no end.

  • @zeinuabudinsharifow9848
    @zeinuabudinsharifow9848 Před 6 lety +356

    20 offers of marriage...
    Does that annoy you Steve...
    😂😂😂

    • @robertsmith3672
      @robertsmith3672 Před 2 lety +1

      How did this idiot get a woman poor lass .

    • @xGT40x
      @xGT40x Před 2 lety

      Timestamp for this?

    • @TheMattmatic
      @TheMattmatic Před 2 lety +4

      @@xGT40x 1:36:48

    • @jeremyc9593
      @jeremyc9593 Před 2 lety +1

      Feels like Karl went with that story just to set up that one joke. Totally worth it.

  • @jordannicholson7751
    @jordannicholson7751 Před 4 lety +66

    "Photographer... "
    *Ricky bursts out laughing*

    • @mamudi91
      @mamudi91 Před 2 lety +4

      The timing on that is so good

  • @tbirdtadhg
    @tbirdtadhg Před 6 lety +456

    Nearly 200 minutes of absolute twaddle

    • @AA-hg5fk
      @AA-hg5fk Před 6 lety +45

      tbirdtadhg glorious, hilarious twaddle.

    • @robertsmith3672
      @robertsmith3672 Před 2 lety +1

      I tired of Karl ages ago better to let Steve and Rick chat. The rot set in with " right ". right. ".right ...

    • @aredub1847
      @aredub1847 Před 2 lety +6

      its very brit twaddle too.

    • @larryzigler6812
      @larryzigler6812 Před 2 lety +9

      @@robertsmith3672 Opposite is true for me.

    • @robertsmith3672
      @robertsmith3672 Před 2 lety +4

      @@larryzigler6812 What ,,? Left left left

  • @rickoneillable
    @rickoneillable Před 6 lety +135

    I can always rely on the XFM shows (especially) and the podcasts to cheer me up no matter what, for that I’ll always be grateful!

  • @frankytravels
    @frankytravels Před 4 lety +61

    57:32 “it’s actually run by a couple of chimps” ricky and Steve die laughing

  • @timmygun795
    @timmygun795 Před 5 lety +44

    2:30:05
    I loved that. That's one of the best interviews.
    - Cher

  • @ellankih
    @ellankih Před 7 lety +137

    43:13...One of the best. I always die laughing when I listen, eyes popout....Steve....

  • @schopenhauerassplower4223
    @schopenhauerassplower4223 Před 5 lety +280

    I love how in the later editions all Karl has to do is set the scene and Ricky either starts laughing or gets angry because he knows what’s coming next
    “There was this game of cards going on”

    • @robertsmith3672
      @robertsmith3672 Před 2 lety +1

      As you said Rick. He is ESN .

    • @Eradicus
      @Eradicus Před rokem

      Amazing name

    • @glenbaker8412
      @glenbaker8412 Před 11 měsíci +2

      Was he holding the cards with his feet? 🙊

    • @AA-hg5fk
      @AA-hg5fk Před 6 měsíci +1

      Very smoky room, a lot of nuts being eaten...

  • @mattleonard9867
    @mattleonard9867 Před 6 lety +776

    Eyes that pop out of their head...Steve.

  • @wondermike007
    @wondermike007 Před 5 lety +86

    Don't. Talk. Shite. Twice.

  • @S-T-E-V-E
    @S-T-E-V-E Před rokem +21

    The basis to 9/10 of these story's relies on Karl's belief that Monkey's can easily pass for Humans! 😂

  • @jordanjames9242
    @jordanjames9242 Před 3 lety +20

    1:53:00 “something’s said”. Funniest moment ever 😅😅

  • @sandwichbreath0
    @sandwichbreath0 Před 5 lety +290

    He speaks, highly educated... photographer

    • @williamsmith666
      @williamsmith666 Před 4 lety +15

      Oh, Karl...KARL!

    • @kitpalmer1583
      @kitpalmer1583 Před 4 lety +7

      best bit is it's true, only bit he got wrong was Koko was a female :')

    • @BobbyTMF
      @BobbyTMF Před 4 lety +5

      Kit Palmer play a record

    • @mjdalicandro
      @mjdalicandro Před 3 lety +8

      It's at 15:40 for those looking for it.

    • @rrw65
      @rrw65 Před 3 lety +1

      Koko actually took photos with 35 mm camera, She loved kittens, used sign language to communicate with caretakers, and loved to watch tv. Koko actually answered , in sign language, questions from forums online. Actually met Robin Williams, and when told he had died, cried. R.I.P. Koko.

  • @Danshephard24
    @Danshephard24 Před 2 měsíci +2

    I’ve been listening to these for over 15 years. I’d be very interested to know how many hours I’ve actually listened too. They help me unwind, help me sleep. It was my dad’s funeral today & I’m ready for bed & it’s on to help me chill out. Peace out & love to all xxx
    #monkeynewsrules

  • @Lamedvavnik
    @Lamedvavnik Před 3 lety +371

    The funny thing about Karl’s monkey news is that a lot of them are true but he usually mixes the story up and makes up the details as he goes along.

    • @nathanpapp432
      @nathanpapp432 Před 3 lety +86

      He reads the headline, looks at the pictures then makes up the rest.

    • @robertsmith9076
      @robertsmith9076 Před 3 lety +4

      I hate to say it but Karl isn't right in the head .

    • @nix2939
      @nix2939 Před 3 lety +50

      "...something's said"

    • @Ead32180
      @Ead32180 Před 3 lety +2

      @Mattress Store the news today IS twaddle:)

    • @ulrichenevoldsen8371
      @ulrichenevoldsen8371 Před 2 lety +2

      @@robertsmith9076 he is just a little slow. And yet more successful than most people

  • @themightysomeone9604
    @themightysomeone9604 Před 4 lety +42

    21:39 ricky's reaction is everything i needed

  • @goldfang5191
    @goldfang5191 Před 7 lety +167

    i love how ricky cannot comprehend it and loses his marbles

    • @bfkc111
      @bfkc111 Před 5 lety +1

      It's an understanding of absurdity, fool. It takes more understanding than just the thing itself... which is super-simple (= usually unbelievably dumb).

    • @nxgan1088
      @nxgan1088 Před 4 lety +16

      @@bfkc111 I found the arrogant smartarse!!! (and it only took five minutes)

    • @CousinBowling
      @CousinBowling Před 4 lety +3

      @@bfkc111 ew

    • @moorsidefc
      @moorsidefc Před 3 lety +2

      @@bfkc111 tit

  • @colintwomey7554
    @colintwomey7554 Před 4 lety +70

    Best ones are the ones Karl can't even finish..
    "Something's said"
    *Ricky and Steve burst out laughing
    "Oh forget it"

    • @Mark-sc2dy
      @Mark-sc2dy Před 3 lety +5

      Or the one about the band in Pittsburgh, the A and R guy likes the bass, "that's odd, we dont have a bassist"

    • @colintwomey7554
      @colintwomey7554 Před 2 lety +4

      @@Mark-sc2dy "they said let's.. let's do some business with the bananas"
      "THIS IS SUCH SHIT"
      "Forget it"

  • @nickbeane7203
    @nickbeane7203 Před 6 lety +47

    16:12 the way Ricky says “oh Karl....KARL” gets me every time

  • @OfficialFinlayJones
    @OfficialFinlayJones Před 6 lety +175

    “Eyes that pop out there ed............... Steve” - I AM DEAD!!!

  • @williamward4342
    @williamward4342 Před 5 lety +56

    Tries it on with the mrs

  • @Crunch_Buttsteak
    @Crunch_Buttsteak Před 5 lety +51

    I wish this was 10 hrs long.

  • @FirstNameLastName-nf3qz
    @FirstNameLastName-nf3qz Před 3 lety +32

    i love how stephen tells ricky to shut up every 5 seconds XDDD

  • @noahedwards8245
    @noahedwards8245 Před 3 lety +28

    1:13:46 easily the best part of monkey news and second place isn’t even close to this

  • @lewisl1394
    @lewisl1394 Před 5 lety +57

    “Somebody kept on winning em”

  • @SR009s
    @SR009s Před 4 lety +49

    “And he got the keys to the city”
    This part absolutely killed me

    • @AA-hg5fk
      @AA-hg5fk Před 2 lety +9

      More monkey news next week?

    • @intigimp
      @intigimp Před rokem

      "PC Willcox of the NYPD"

  • @antonysimpson6288
    @antonysimpson6288 Před rokem +79

    The story of the monkey called 86 that stole a car and drove to Spain had me literally crying with laughter, especially when Karl's explanation of how he drove the car was "it was an automatic".

    • @sethiddings7293
      @sethiddings7293 Před rokem +1

      Holy shit that's funny as fuck XD Love how They always try to prove His story wrong with logic like He didn't just make it up.

    • @cango5679
      @cango5679 Před rokem

      He was called 86, but his real name was Boris.

    • @TheWoody3mental
      @TheWoody3mental Před rokem +1

      He had a word with the monkey...

    • @Eradicus
      @Eradicus Před rokem

      I'll never forget that line. Think it's my favourite of all the radio content

  • @walkerliam94
    @walkerliam94 Před 5 lety +58

    Honestly my favourite video on the internet ever, watched this about 9 times now.

  • @Simon-fr4ts
    @Simon-fr4ts Před rokem +17

    1:53:08 was gold. Steve proper laughed out loud, not his usual chuckle.

  • @slikrick5857
    @slikrick5857 Před 5 lety +27

    I come back and listen to these every few months and it’s always absolutely hilarious.

    • @chrisholloway4804
      @chrisholloway4804 Před rokem +1

      Same, I try and leave it longer but can't.. just knocking about aren't they!

  • @waynemorris6907
    @waynemorris6907 Před 2 lety +54

    I wish Karl would make a paranormal investigation series.

    • @morfarson8592
      @morfarson8592 Před 2 lety +18

      He did explore that scary inn his mate worked at, where he found that pile of flies with a condom stuck on top.

    • @paulcunnane4
      @paulcunnane4 Před 2 lety

      Brilliant idea!

    • @AA-hg5fk
      @AA-hg5fk Před rokem +3

      There's no explanation... Weird init?

    • @jimmyrustler8983
      @jimmyrustler8983 Před rokem

      @@morfarson8592 One of my favourite bits 🤣

    • @jaycuthbert245
      @jaycuthbert245 Před 8 měsíci

      It was pushing people off their bikes..lmao one of his best bits that was lol

  • @Tom_M
    @Tom_M Před 2 lety +16

    C'mon Karl.. he drove to Spain... "It was an automatic"

  • @skeleetoon
    @skeleetoon Před 5 lety +34

    "........this tricycle......"

  • @TG-zf5zp
    @TG-zf5zp Před 2 lety +46

    I love hearing Karl finally crack up and laughing his head off at 1:18:52 onwards. Brilliant stuff, Hilarious! Well done Yak for editing all these compilations together. Cheers.

    • @raniketki4795
      @raniketki4795 Před rokem +1

      100 monkey phenomenon is actually true; source needed; really love this compilation listening for the umpteenth time ,still funny 😂

  • @sarahkavanagh7355
    @sarahkavanagh7355 Před 3 lety +34

    1:27.30 Karl: "instead of saying 'do you want to meet in a restaurant or a bar', they'd say 'what tree do you want to meet at?' "
    Ricky: "You're nearly....you're ill"
    💀😂😂😂

    • @josephwheatley5488
      @josephwheatley5488 Před rokem

      This exchange is forever my favourite xfm moment. Ricky sounds so aggrieved 😂

  • @WolfColaUK
    @WolfColaUK Před 4 lety +60

    Karl finally laughing for the first time after well over an hour's worth of recordings telling monkey related stories is a beautiful thing.

    • @yaknoff379
      @yaknoff379 Před 4 lety +14

      Karl is a deadpan genius....

  • @simonb9412
    @simonb9412 Před 5 měsíci +5

    “It’s actually run by a couple of chimps” 🤣

  • @CorporalFriendlyShark
    @CorporalFriendlyShark Před 3 lety +46

    52:10 will never not have me rolling on my back like a dying fly from laughing so much

    • @MrNcarey88
      @MrNcarey88 Před rokem +5

      Had to thump it in the head

    • @TheUnknownDozo
      @TheUnknownDozo Před 5 měsíci

      Imposible no cagarse de la risa en esa parte jajsj

  • @ayewhaddupdoe
    @ayewhaddupdoe Před 2 lety +62

    I've always thought I just "didn't get" Brit humor. As an American I'm conditioned to think you need to couple your jokes with physical comedy.
    Then I discovered these three men. Last night I tried to listen to the pod while falling asleep and I was in bed laughing until 4:30am.
    England, protect these three men at all costs.

    • @gman2253
      @gman2253 Před 2 lety +3

      I recommend the show brass eye its well underrated

    • @AA-hg5fk
      @AA-hg5fk Před 2 lety +9

      Always nice to encounter Americans who are exploring British comedy, glad you like it!

    • @i_used_adblock_to_watch_this
      @i_used_adblock_to_watch_this Před 2 lety +5

      @@AA-hg5fk I'm always under the assumption that most fans of the xfm shows are Americans, now.

    • @morfarson8592
      @morfarson8592 Před 2 lety +6

      I'm from Norway :D listening since 06 I'm probably a minority...

    • @JUANO510
      @JUANO510 Před 2 lety +6

      Yea I'm from Brooklyn NY and discovered karl from the cartoon on HBO and looked online and found all these clips, I couldn't believe it how funny it was

  • @ianinkster2261
    @ianinkster2261 Před 3 lety +7

    8:15 "This isn't the Washington Post you're reading", as though the Washington Post doesn't publish twaddle.

  • @VivalaryMan
    @VivalaryMan Před 2 lety +7

    It doesn't get any better than Yak when it comes to KP.
    No ads, quality content, gets my respect EVERYTIME.

  • @bigbulldog75
    @bigbulldog75 Před 7 lety +205

    Just a story that 'appened

  • @PaddyRoon7
    @PaddyRoon7 Před 9 měsíci +6

    Karl's three foolproof answers when faced with irrefutable evidence that he's talking bollocks:
    "It was ages ago"
    "The story's nearly finished"
    "Weird init?"

  • @thevirus7368
    @thevirus7368 Před 2 lety +50

    Steve Merchant is actually the one who keeps this together and running.

    • @alansouthall8221
      @alansouthall8221 Před 2 lety +12

      So underated in these

    • @YanoshRagauld
      @YanoshRagauld Před 2 lety

      Truth.

    • @dangerdan2592
      @dangerdan2592 Před rokem

      They all play off each other well.

    • @AA-hg5fk
      @AA-hg5fk Před 6 měsíci

      Yes definitely, without Steve, Ricky would have just gone mental at Karl for being so stupid and the feature would have been binned

  • @heleng6968
    @heleng6968 Před 2 lety +16

    I love Steve's quiet laugh in the background 😂😂😂

  • @halisfansuri
    @halisfansuri Před 5 lety +33

    " building to building just building.."

    • @IdiotRace
      @IdiotRace Před měsícem

      @bena.k.athewantedraccoon4360 one of the many Karlisms that pops into my head at random

  • @danielreeve1433
    @danielreeve1433 Před 3 lety +12

    45:10 you can TELL that pissed Steve off so badly 😂

  • @Ismail-Yahya
    @Ismail-Yahya Před 2 lety +15

    I wish they still did these, KP is a comedy legend

  • @georgie535
    @georgie535 Před 7 měsíci +4

    21:30 that outburst gets me in tears ever single time

  • @Stoate
    @Stoate Před 3 lety +10

    "someone kept winnin em" is one of the funniest things i've ever heard

  • @MOUSE545.
    @MOUSE545. Před 4 lety +35

    I generally don’t think anyone’s ever told Karl that monkeys can’t speak 😂

  • @TheBadMoJoe
    @TheBadMoJoe Před rokem +7

    1:18:45 I’ve never heard Karl laugh so hard. He couldn’t even speak. Such a rare treat!

  • @antforex2357
    @antforex2357 Před 4 lety +58

    Cheering me up during the covid pandemic

  • @UmmaFumma
    @UmmaFumma Před 4 lety +29

    2:59:50 "Sometimes they've got fruit on those hats"

  • @jackjack1333
    @jackjack1333 Před 3 lety +14

    "and robbin' an' that" the way Karl says that

  • @spinny003
    @spinny003 Před 3 lety +18

    I laughed at the first line. Karl saying he's done a bit of research is like a blind kid describing the colour orange.

  • @DJ_Cub
    @DJ_Cub Před 2 lety +4

    44:42 what’s 1.6 CM? “Pop off your trousers” that has to be the most underrated line/comeback in this entire compilation. Brilliant

  • @archiewall124
    @archiewall124 Před 3 lety +7

    Hit the left button 😂😂😂hit reverse 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @DGdescendant22
    @DGdescendant22 Před 5 lety +30

    "Troubles brewin"

  • @dball_94
    @dball_94 Před 6 lety +64

    the story around 2:27:00 about the russian tv show is god-tier

    • @AA-hg5fk
      @AA-hg5fk Před 5 lety +7

      'kept him on'

    • @mp9873
      @mp9873 Před 3 lety

      “So you say Samuel, but do you know the full story....”

    • @clebfelm4170
      @clebfelm4170 Před 3 lety +1

      Samuel Black well... it’s all bollocks

  • @NorthWalesKid
    @NorthWalesKid Před 4 měsíci +4

    “Does the story end with a short fella who’s arms are longer than his entire body?
    If the story ends like that, you are never doing this again”.

  • @AlanAttack
    @AlanAttack Před 4 lety +18

    Possibly the funniest thing in comedy history....priceless and perpetually hilarious....I'm 20 seconds in.....am gonna shit myself laughing.

  • @thewarriorsway544
    @thewarriorsway544 Před 4 lety +13

    Every night for the last 8 years I listen to this guy crazy
    Anyone else?

  • @thepontiacbandit7874
    @thepontiacbandit7874 Před 2 lety +8

    ‘There was this…’ ‘Monkey?’
    I love Steve’s tone of voice. 😂

  • @manager6711
    @manager6711 Před 3 lety +28

    I love when Ricky laughs 😂 especially the "I'm gonna die" line 😂

    • @dangerdan2592
      @dangerdan2592 Před rokem +2

      I know, people complain about him but I think it makes it funnier when he gets annoyed (most of the time) lol.

  • @thesensur6214
    @thesensur6214 Před 3 lety +14

    The “Chimp doctors” thing is literally the best thing Iv’e ever heard.

  • @TheCorpmaster
    @TheCorpmaster Před rokem +4

    21:40 "That's the end of Monkey News!"
    "Ooooh chimpanzee that, Monkey News."

  • @solo26sky
    @solo26sky Před 2 lety +4

    56:42
    …… the bit I ain’t told ya bout……………. is……….. it’s actually run by a couple of Chimps
    😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💀

  • @samlasley798
    @samlasley798 Před rokem +13

    I genuinely think Monkey News became revenge on Ricky and Steve for all their teasing of Karl and times he got his head squoze. He damn well knew how much he wound up Ricky with the feature and used it to his advantage; kudos to Karl

  • @tophatproductions3031
    @tophatproductions3031 Před 4 lety +15

    23:59 Karl makes the most bizarre sound. "EV'rything's normal."

  • @veganinthesticks6245
    @veganinthesticks6245 Před 7 lety +85

    "everything's normal"

  • @manmoth1184
    @manmoth1184 Před 3 lety +7

    "Then this tricycle..."
    These videos make me so happy

  • @PaddyRoon7
    @PaddyRoon7 Před 9 měsíci +6

    Ricky asking "how tall was he" always makes me laugh

  • @carl1212
    @carl1212 Před 7 lety +114

    "mentalist" cracks me up every time
    8:25, 31:27, 2:16:57

  • @sexgodbennett9625
    @sexgodbennett9625 Před 4 lety +17

    Your going to love this one Steve