Ehhhhh that's me, I never knew am toxic or a narcissist till today. I blame game a lot, I belittle, I complain, I argue, insecurities is like a gift, in fact when he says some people are so insecure they ask for pictures to prove you are where you claim to be, I totally get it because I am that. I always see the fault was my ex and not mine, is true am completely blind to my mistakes and weakness but will highlight my partners mistakes and weaknesses, and the level of selfishness in me is so great it's all about me, me, me me. am a narcissist, think the challenge now is working on it. WHAT A LIFE TRANSFORMING SHOW.
Very often people who grow up in toxic homes will end up with a toxic partner. I remembet when I met my narc, he felt familiar because he treated me exactly as bad as my family did. After 2 years, I stayed with him for another 4 months just to understand why I, as a grown independent woman, would allow this clown in my space! I got to learn about trauma bonding, lack of boundaries and people pleasing as my main weakness. When I broke up with him, I thanked him for teaching about myself. The look on his face was priceless because he had no more power to hurt me.. I've had to go for therapy to learn to have healthy relationships. Setting boundaries; letting people know what is acceptable or unacceptable. My personality went from Joyce to Zulu. I have no tolerance for meanness anymore. So what if you were abandoned by your father? Are you the first to have this problem? What have you done for yourself inorder to heal? Long story short, I stopped being a rehabilitation center for broken people.
When people show you who they’re,believed them.Don’t waste your time in trying to change people who have condition their mind not to.I have been there and all these points confirmed all that I experienced with the toxic guy.No communication,no respect,no appreciation,no love.Which reduces my self esteem.but I’m happy I finally walk away.🙏🏻🙏🏻
One thing I will tell you After living in Europe and US and dating European Asian and Latina women there is nothing like an African woman I took African Women for granted because I was living abroad but decided whaaaa Mimi nataka a Kenyan woman or African and yes I’m getting engaged to a Kenyan woman . Our women are very special .
Currently dating a lady who is always fault finding and accusing me of past mistakes. I keep apologizing but blames seem to keep coming. Old faults Revived everytime
I'm watching from Zimbabwe 🇿🇼🇿🇼 . I love your show, Dr Zulu thank you for educating us on this subject which is never taught in school. From your serial discussions if I could write an exam of courtship and marriage I will be an A+ student 😀😀😀
Great learning, would appreciate if we can have subtittles in English when you are stressing points in your own language for international viewers. It's so good that sometimes I feel I'm missing out on important content. You are doing a good job keep it up
Thank you so much Mr Zulu for being on this show..you are being helpful to me I've been hurt so many times even now I dont like man but listening to you I'm beginning to heal..watching from South Africa may God bless you
One day discuss pride and overblown ego not only in men or among daters but also among ladies... Ladies need to k ow they have some bad ego that suffocates relationships even among themselves.
I like your program a lot, it’s quite educational and informative,but you guys inject your language, that’s fine am a proud African too but If you do, please, do translate to English, am from London and I do sometimes get lost in your conversations. Do keep up the great work 👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿💕
I actually caught this channel by surprise and so glad I did. Much needed! 💞 He talked too fast 🥺... it's hard to understand everything he's saying. 🤔 🥴💝 Unfortunately, I'm African American born and raised. So, forgive me... it's just hard to comprehend everything. However, I love the teaching! Thank you so much! 🙏🏾 💕
I was in one too ...yes its hard to leave,narcissist always wants to control you and blame everything on you, always want to be praised..and this will always put you down,draining yourself esteem.. I was ina distance relationship, and everytime am going out he would ask for photos and stay online throughout .this only made me feel so down always..but ilifika a point I put my heart aside and started thinking with my brains then I made a decision. And started talking to people.. watch out
This has been my life for 17yrs every time l try to live he change like for a long time and l think all good then boom everything come back.. Am physically, emotionally, mentally drained..
I’m also undergoing through this at the moment have tried to leave several times,he gets back apologizes i then feel pity for him and forgive him give another chance.But no changes at all,Plz help on how to walk away I feel tired
My mother is narcissistic and she is hard as hell to live with. Like Mr. Zulu says she blames me and her other children for everything and she doesn't listen and she knows it all. She's very hard to communicate with.
You inspired me to leave a comment here. Thaz exactly my mother!!! I bet she's 100 times more narcissistic than your mother😥 I thank God today u got the right term I can understand her with. I'm always the most available brat to be put blames on 😭😭even when am far in the city,the blames will just be waiting for me🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙆🏼♀️😭😭😭
@@Lee_Stanley Oh wow, bless your heart. That's so sad you have to go through that. I hope things get better for you; my heart goes out to you luv. A friend girl of mine has a mom just like ours and due to COVID we both lost our jobs and were FORCED to live with her. It's been an uphill battle for the both of us. But, one day she tearfully asked the question: "Tell me, WHY do we have to go through this abuse? What did we do to deserve this?? I told her, "Absolutely Nothing. This is NOT our problem this is HER problem and we are only going through it because we have to live with her but once we both get on our feet again and get our own place we no longer will have to dance to our abuser's music. We will gain back our control and have peace.
What differentiates control fro just having standards. I ask this cause when a woman tells you she doesn’t need a partner who does this and that, for example when she doesn’t want a guy that smokes and drinks, they call that standards and she a man says he doesn’t want the same thing most of the times he’ll be called controlling and her friends will even tell her that her man is controlling
Start where u are dear it's never too late u can't live by ua past just forcus ad know other things where just made to happen to sharpen your maturity.
You admit it that's good. All the best keep working. I am a daughter of a narcissistic mom and she says that its who she is we must learn to live with it. I promise u she will end up alone because me and my siblings realised who she is and dare we start working... I'm a university student
Hey Zulu, could you discuss on the behaviours of partners who loss parents at a younger age and use this as an escape part of why they are narcissistic....... Please do a show on this..... 👏👏Thanks in advance 😊
One of my question is how can I get to communicate to my partner about her pulling away due to reasons that I may have caused her to do so but when I ask her to forgo what happened she says that in her own time she'd do so?its been months now and everytime I bring up the topic it's another case all together..how can I get her to stop pulling away and actually work on the situation at hand.
I think this has happened to me I had such a person e always had petty issues.. Eg... I remember him saying am ignorant coz I didn't wish him a happy birthday.. And he didn't even know it was his birthday... I decided to move on... Its really crazy.. I called him he never picked... The next time he picked he told me he had cold he couldn't have talked.... And I was like no for me.... The phone can be typed then... Sms if you can't talk
Jeniffer watching from southern Africa, I like Zulu dud u get ur name from this side what about a man who feel he is very clever than everyone, he can't even let other men talk leave alone women.
Hallo Winnie!🙂 trust me if u cldn't bear anymore and left.....it means u did ur best and shldn't regret.....it is had to advise u without u mentioning exactly what problems u faced.....identify the badhabits u cldn't stand or was "he" narcissist and ur feeling lost after all u went through???!!☹ Tell us so we can help u and i really hope Benjamin can advice you. Anxiety is a serious symptom and shld be taken seriously. Have u seeked couselling?
Iam glad to hear u say smthg like this.....even if i donot thk so coz Narcissistics will never admitt that they r the problem. They always blame their partners....otherwise apologies is a gd start and wanting the best together. Teamwork!
I really love dis program but can u pls speak English through out because my question was asked by someone n I didn't hear anything because all was explained in your language
Ehhhhh that's me, I never knew am toxic or a narcissist till today. I blame game a lot, I belittle, I complain, I argue, insecurities is like a gift, in fact when he says some people are so insecure they ask for pictures to prove you are where you claim to be, I totally get it because I am that. I always see the fault was my ex and not mine, is true am completely blind to my mistakes and weakness but will highlight my partners mistakes and weaknesses, and the level of selfishness in me is so great it's all about me, me, me me. am a narcissist, think the challenge now is working on it. WHAT A LIFE TRANSFORMING SHOW.
Very often people who grow up in toxic homes will end up with a toxic partner. I remembet when I met my narc, he felt familiar because he treated me exactly as bad as my family did. After 2 years, I stayed with him for another 4 months just to understand why I, as a grown independent woman, would allow this clown in my space! I got to learn about trauma bonding, lack of boundaries and people pleasing as my main weakness. When I broke up with him, I thanked him for teaching about myself. The look on his face was priceless because he had no more power to hurt me.. I've had to go for therapy to learn to have healthy relationships. Setting boundaries; letting people know what is acceptable or unacceptable. My personality went from Joyce to Zulu. I have no tolerance for meanness anymore. So what if you were abandoned by your father? Are you the first to have this problem? What have you done for yourself inorder to heal?
Long story short, I stopped being a rehabilitation center for broken people.
😢😢😢thats exactly what happened it was trauma bonding and i hv set boundaries and am really thankful 4 my narc i have learnt alot about myself...
I love your words..."l stopped being a rehabilitation centre for broken people" 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
@@divinelychosen5554 God me too girl
When people show you who they’re,believed them.Don’t waste your time in trying to change people who have condition their mind not to.I have been there and all these points confirmed all that I experienced with the toxic guy.No communication,no respect,no appreciation,no love.Which reduces my self esteem.but I’m happy I finally walk away.🙏🏻🙏🏻
Wonder what he experienced
"Get OUT quickly and save time"...😂😂😂
That sounds like problem resolving...
Thank u. My children too were very happy when I divorced with their father. its one of the best decision I have ever made.
One thing I will tell you After living in Europe and US and dating European Asian and Latina women there is nothing like an African woman I took African Women for granted because I was living abroad but decided whaaaa Mimi nataka a Kenyan woman or African and yes I’m getting engaged to a Kenyan woman .
Our women are very special .
If you find yourself always apologizing all the time, chances are you are dating a narcissist.
This was me sometimes back good thing I moved out
True
So true
Currently dating a lady who is always fault finding and accusing me of past mistakes. I keep apologizing but blames seem to keep coming. Old faults Revived everytime
True
Proud people are self absorbed. They never go out of their way to accommodate you. It's them them them them.. Owada awuoro
I'm watching from Zimbabwe 🇿🇼🇿🇼 . I love your show, Dr Zulu thank you for educating us on this subject which is never taught in school. From your serial discussions if I could write an exam of courtship and marriage I will be an A+ student 😀😀😀
Watching from Toronto. Dr. Zulu is just awesome! I love his sense of humour too. Joyce don't ever stop having him on your show. I am learning a lot.
I love this psychologist. He has a sense of humor and great mastery of content.
True he is quite a scholar
Sure
@@music4thesoul491 mm
Very true, he teaches the exact things we experience in relationships.
Discussion on point,,, that was exactly what I was going through,,
Hi watching from Namibia,thanks for having people like DR.Zulu in Africa.🎓🎓🎓🎓🎓
True the behave like angels don't accept their mistakes they use your words against you to make you look bad 💯💯💯.. describes an ex 👌
The same relationship I have been going through,thank God I made up my mind
" YOU ARE NOT THE GENERAL MANAGER OF THE UNIVERSE" Thank you for this statement, it is liberating
True true
Joyce, this is your best hairstyle! Love this look on you!
"Narcissist needs puppets no people "
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 so true. 👍
i still come back to listen to your good teachings motives,thank you so mch
Great learning, would appreciate if we can have subtittles in English when you are stressing points in your own language for international viewers. It's so good that sometimes I feel I'm missing out on important content. You are doing a good job keep it up
Crucial topics to discuss. I wish translation scripts were available when you switch to your native language.
Always enjoying the session, thanks for such a platform
Loving this talk.....part 2 pls
Very very true Benjamin I am in such relationship thank you for your advice
Thank u Benjamin! 👍🏾 Great content 👏🏾
I think I was about to get into one..I'm glad I listened to this
Thank you so much Mr Zulu for being on this show..you are being helpful to me I've been hurt so many times even now I dont like man but listening to you I'm beginning to heal..watching from South Africa may God bless you
I'm in love with your show 😍...Zulu good job
Watching this video but it really giving wisdom!!, surely am now defining my boundaries. Thanks Zulu & Joyce. From Uganda
Can't stop watching his videos,,@real content💯
Thanks very Much Benjamin I have learnt a lot
Narcissists are drawn to empaths because they feed off their positive energy. Like vampires.
First time listener. Love it. Thanks
Love your show, it is very educative
Ego is the anaesthesia that eases the pain of stupidity
Very true
Very true.
This man is so intelligent Benjamin zulu!!!!!! Wow💞💞❤💕
Great sense of humour Mr Zulu....so educative..l've learnt a lot...
Loving the show. Watching from uganda
One day discuss pride and overblown ego not only in men or among daters but also among ladies... Ladies need to k ow they have some bad ego that suffocates relationships even among themselves.
I love the show it's an eye opening and educative..
I love the show.... I have learnt alot. 💯
That joke on African ladies and their emotions is just the one. LOL
Had I known this 8years ago,I am sure I wouldn't be on medication...but such is life
I am really in a toxic relationship. I have to run for my life
Ur life.😱...o.m.g run since ur aware....donot waste a second if it's dangerous.
Don't waste even a second. Toxicity will emotionally drain you.
Runn before you almost got stabbed by a knife like me
Very true man you nailed it
I like your program a lot, it’s quite educational and informative,but you guys inject your language, that’s fine am a proud African too but If you do, please, do translate to English, am from London and I do sometimes get lost in your conversations. Do keep up the great work 👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿💕
I just love this man and his way of getting his message across and he is so right 💜
Very very informative
I actually caught this channel by surprise and so glad I did. Much needed! 💞
He talked too fast 🥺... it's hard to understand everything he's saying. 🤔 🥴💝
Unfortunately, I'm African American born and raised. So, forgive me... it's just hard to comprehend everything.
However, I love the teaching! Thank you so much! 🙏🏾 💕
You woke me up. Live long.
waah you have made my day that even if you are in the market you take the picture of that market and you send to him
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Am learning alot.n kicking my brains aki😢😢😂😂
I was in a very toxic relationship...I must admit the hardest thing is moving out...But I finally had the freedom to be me
What did u do? To get out of it? Coz am in one
Me too I really need to know how kindly share if you don't mind
I was in one too ...yes its hard to leave,narcissist always wants to control you and blame everything on you, always want to be praised..and this will always put you down,draining yourself esteem..
I was ina distance relationship, and everytime am going out he would ask for photos and stay online throughout .this only made me feel so down always..but ilifika a point I put my heart aside and started thinking with my brains then I made a decision. And started talking to people.. watch out
This has been my life for 17yrs every time l try to live he change like for a long time and l think all good then boom everything come back.. Am physically, emotionally, mentally drained..
I’m also undergoing through this at the moment have tried to leave several times,he gets back apologizes i then feel pity for him and forgive him give another chance.But no changes at all,Plz help on how to walk away I feel tired
Very informed psychologist
Aki this is lady is cute.. She's the reason why I watch this whole thing
Am not the general manager of the universe.. I love this
I love this show its true we have angelic demons all over who leave innocent souls wrecked and have no remorse for their behaviours
Much love from Uganda ❤️
Love this content from Harare Zimbabwe
My mother is narcissistic and she is hard as hell to live with. Like Mr. Zulu says she blames me and her other children for everything and she doesn't listen and she knows it all. She's very hard to communicate with.
You inspired me to leave a comment here. Thaz exactly my mother!!! I bet she's 100 times more narcissistic than your mother😥 I thank God today u got the right term I can understand her with. I'm always the most available brat to be put blames on 😭😭even when am far in the city,the blames will just be waiting for me🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙆🏼♀️😭😭😭
@@Lee_Stanley Oh wow, bless your heart. That's so sad you have to go through that. I hope things get better for you; my heart goes out to you luv. A friend girl of mine has a mom just like ours and due to COVID we both lost our jobs and were FORCED to live with her. It's been an uphill battle for the both of us. But, one day she tearfully asked the question: "Tell me, WHY do we have to go through this abuse? What did we do to deserve this?? I told her, "Absolutely Nothing. This is NOT our problem this is HER problem and we are only going through it because we have to live with her but once we both get on our feet again and get our own place we no longer will have to dance to our abuser's music. We will gain back our control and have peace.
I cut mine out of my life and moved to another city. I have peace now
@@hlengiwemasondo2858 I did same for myself. I have been trying to heal ever since.
@@praiseduke4864 me too, the smear campaign started half of my family from her side don't want me anymore
Where does this guy getting all these words and the vocabulary? Just love his job. Kudos Zulu.
What differentiates control fro just having standards. I ask this cause when a woman tells you she doesn’t need a partner who does this and that, for example when she doesn’t want a guy that smokes and drinks, they call that standards and she a man says he doesn’t want the same thing most of the times he’ll be called controlling and her friends will even tell her that her man is controlling
It's good to walk away from such relationships before it becomes worse👌👌👌
Is it possible to add subtitles when he is speaking the native language? Love from Nigeria❤️
Seconded. Love from South Africa.
I can help in translation. Where did you get lost?
Joyce I just love ur outfit
You speaking the truth we break with my ex but online ana post "I can live without you too much drama.
i love the show so much,i wish it could be all English. From Botswana
if only I knew this years ago I could have saved my youthful years
Start where u are dear it's never too late u can't live by ua past just forcus ad know other things where just made to happen to sharpen your maturity.
Am a narcissist 😞😞
All what he said is true
But am on therapy ☹️
Stay away of narcissist am struggling very hard to change
Me too but I wish to change I promise change every now and then but 😭😭😭I was given last chance last night 😥
Realising that you have a problem is the first step to becoming a better person.
I hope you guys find the help you need ❤️❤️
Acceptance is the first step
You admit it that's good. All the best keep working.
I am a daughter of a narcissistic mom and she says that its who she is we must learn to live with it. I promise u she will end up alone because me and my siblings realised who she is and dare we start working... I'm a university student
Soul enriching ♥️
You don't know how much i needed this..thank you 😔
Everyone's falls one side
You just described my ex. wah!
Hey Zulu, could you discuss on the behaviours of partners who loss parents at a younger age and use this as an escape part of why they are narcissistic....... Please do a show on this..... 👏👏Thanks in advance 😊
Ted repeat that
True true I've been through stomached shit 8yrs
Yeah,you will never change/cover his insecurities with love...
Hi, I was in a toxic relationship and i walked out After 3years and hafe
We need you in Namibia...
One of my question is how can I get to communicate to my partner about her pulling away due to reasons that I may have caused her to do so but when I ask her to forgo what happened she says that in her own time she'd do so?its been months now and everytime I bring up the topic it's another case all together..how can I get her to stop pulling away and actually work on the situation at hand.
Am now afraid of being in a relationship
Ur free to leave....but donot limit ur opportunity without exprience pliz!😅
Don't be,thank GOD for shows like these that opens our eyes,and teaches us things regarding relationships,,just take notes,you'll be ok...
In the same shoes.
Keep it private until it is permanent.
Thank u zulu 🙏🙏
Joyce I need to see Zulu I need seriously counseling
I'm not a maker of the universe...hey...my health comes first...narssist shld be left alone to deal with their toxicity..thy are so draining....
I think if you see the signs of toxic relationship it's better to quit because some they do not change
So sad I stayed in a such marriage but finally I moved out although it real killed my self esteem am still working on it slowly ☹️☹️
What time does the show play and on which channel?
I think this has happened to me I had such a person e always had petty issues.. Eg... I remember him saying am ignorant coz I didn't wish him a happy birthday.. And he didn't even know it was his birthday... I decided to move on... Its really crazy.. I called him he never picked... The next time he picked he told me he had cold he couldn't have talked.... And I was like no for me.... The phone can be typed then... Sms if you can't talk
Described my ex kabisa! So demeaning!
Me too
@@megkarugi9665 were we dating the same guy?lmao🤣🤣🤣🤣
Jeniffer watching from southern Africa, I like Zulu dud u get ur name from this side what about a man who feel he is very clever than everyone, he can't even let other men talk leave alone women.
That's a big problem there,he has a huge ego,too proud!!!
Dated 4yrs married 6yrs...all in vain... Left 5months ago..am very anxious..I need help
So sorry Winnie, understanding that you need help is the starting point to healing.
Hallo Winnie!🙂 trust me if u cldn't bear anymore and left.....it means u did ur best and shldn't regret.....it is had to advise u without u mentioning exactly what problems u faced.....identify the badhabits u cldn't stand or was "he" narcissist and ur feeling lost after all u went through???!!☹
Tell us so we can help u and i really hope Benjamin can advice you. Anxiety is a serious symptom and shld be taken seriously. Have u seeked couselling?
Pole mummy you will heal trust me
From the description I think am narcissistic what should i do?
Do we have room in this world?
Does it have treatment?
Iam glad to hear u say smthg like this.....even if i donot thk so coz Narcissistics will never admitt that they r the problem. They always blame their partners....otherwise apologies is a gd start and wanting the best together. Teamwork!
Look for a therapist ....
I love the Show....
Guilty as charged 😢
This me aki🙀
Though hua sishughuliki sana na his private afairs
Maybe he killed your inside already
Be careful girl.
am here for laughter 😂
I need help in knowing myself
I wish I found this video early, I couldnt have stayed with him longer. Am glad I left!
Me too
Me too
Thank God you had the courage to leave. Alot dont. The become mentally and emotionally paralysed or physically dead.
@@divinelychosen5554 It was the only way for me to save my self❤️. Selfcare over everything sis
Me too, I thank God, for giving me the courage park up and moving far away from that man..
I like Zulu's teaching I left a man that treated me badly....and why are her legs distracting me though 😂
I jus wanted to know what's his name on face book...I'd like to ask him some questions....I love this conversation...
I love this show even though I don't understand your language...
I also luv the show bt their language is hard to understand
😂😂😂😂😂I feel you
Me 3 hahahahahaha 😂
@@janewanjiruwanjiru8402 wewe Wajiroo stop lying
I went through that and I moved out slowly
I really love dis program but can u pls speak English through out because my question was asked by someone n I didn't hear anything because all was explained in your language
Yes..