7 Things You Should NEVER Say to an INFJ

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  • čas přidán 7. 06. 2024
  • Never say these things to an INFJ.
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Komentáře • 9K

  • @FrankJames
    @FrankJames  Před 3 lety +831

    ❓What are other things that you should "never say" to an INFJ?
    ✨Get a 30 day free trial and free audiobook from my sponsor Audible at www.audibletrial.com/FJ
    Subscribe for more 👉 infj.me/sub

    • @esme4048
      @esme4048 Před 3 lety +157

      Don't tell them they are being too sensitive or they will be even more sensitive and be grumpy usually

    • @jillac4428
      @jillac4428 Před 3 lety +48

      “Wow you REALLY ARE an INFJ 👀”... it’s like yes but excuse me 🤨

    • @alicekong63
      @alicekong63 Před 3 lety +66

      people always assume that we’re mistyped 🤷🏻‍♀️

    • @alicekong63
      @alicekong63 Před 3 lety +40

      “oh so you’re like into theories and stuff? are you a flat earther??” ppl always say this and i’ve never even brought up the flat earth theory in a real life coversation before 😂

    • @mariek.474
      @mariek.474 Před 3 lety +71

      " Just chill ! " when I have demonstrated many times that I can't, and won't. 🙃

  • @VerveVarle
    @VerveVarle Před 3 lety +4101

    "you always look angry"
    - "I'm not, it's just my face".
    Story of my life...

    • @dinkin_flicka14
      @dinkin_flicka14 Před 3 lety +164

      Ikr? And when people tell me to smile more? I smile so much to prove a point that they will get uncomfortable and feel sorry for themselves. Lol

    • @VerveVarle
      @VerveVarle Před 3 lety +102

      @@dinkin_flicka14 and when they tell me "why won't you smile?" I go "I can't , it hurts my face" :D

    • @marlo2919
      @marlo2919 Před 3 lety +12

      Me too 😆

    • @grayfox6930
      @grayfox6930 Před 3 lety +33

      I'm not sure if that's an infj thing but yeah this happens to me ALL THE TIME.

    • @Admin_A-tg6gk
      @Admin_A-tg6gk Před 3 lety +43

      This is so relatable, my parents and classmates always think I'm an unhappy person when it's really just my natural face

  • @annam8983
    @annam8983 Před 3 lety +5967

    Worst thing to say to an INFJ: Omg you’re still thinking about that?!
    🥺

    • @middy8012
      @middy8012 Před 3 lety +317

      I’m kinda guilty about this cause I pretty much hold grudges to people who done bad things to me and I can still remember what they’ve done to me.

    • @VixeyTeh
      @VixeyTeh Před 3 lety +154

      My best friend once asked me "why are you even overthinking this?"
      And I was like "have ya MET ME???" A little more respect for the supreme Goddess of the Overthinking here!"
      She laughed so hard she fell off her bed.

    • @CyberMinkk
      @CyberMinkk Před 3 lety +111

      I said something harsh to my best friend in middle school. And here we are in college, i still feel guilty about it and say sorry to her while she has no idea what happened back then.

    • @switch__2254
      @switch__2254 Před 3 lety +49

      and it saddens me like, "I thought you knew me?"

    • @lemons1086
      @lemons1086 Před 3 lety +9

      So true

  • @mb8456
    @mb8456 Před rokem +775

    As someone who have got INFJ almost everytime I've taken mbti test, I've understood that we infjs care for our loved ones so much that we even are brave enough to stand for them but when we need such a support, no one stands for us. Life as INFJ is very lonely and we get misunderstood and judged for everything we do.

    • @your_grandma2441
      @your_grandma2441 Před rokem +87

      I don’t open up to people because I don’t wanna bother people with my problem. Once my ex bestfriend told me to try to open up to her and i gradually did... Only once.... They said "The world doesn’t evolve around you". Dude I just aanted your presence that time. I'm by your side all the fucking time, throwing my works behind, making you my priority. Huh... That's how gradually I understood I was just being used/ we had trauma bond. Basically I was her therapist. She can't take a joke but I HAVE TO take a joke.

    • @dianaruff3571
      @dianaruff3571 Před rokem +13

      Yep spot on

    • @howyduinyall7653
      @howyduinyall7653 Před 8 měsíci

      Wud’nt wanna b a different type tho wud we?

    • @user-bw2oe1wm4k
      @user-bw2oe1wm4k Před 7 měsíci +2

      Omg 😱 that’s was me 😢

    • @puspadewirahmawati6414
      @puspadewirahmawati6414 Před 7 měsíci +1

      This one is so true

  • @randomasshumanbeing2078
    @randomasshumanbeing2078 Před 9 měsíci +143

    “I don’t think I know who you really are”
    Neither do I.

  • @kenny-ps7xb
    @kenny-ps7xb Před 3 lety +3547

    i really hate being told i'm selfish when i'm always considering other people's opinions, likes and dislikes lol

    • @user-fz7nt5ge3o
      @user-fz7nt5ge3o Před 3 lety +174

      I try to tell people I need alone time. It can be very hard for people to understand.
      I am sorry they tell you are selfish.

    • @DiamondsRexpensive
      @DiamondsRexpensive Před 3 lety +55

      Whenever I hear that nowadays, I take it as a compliment.

    • @rosanadeoliveiramoraes5405
      @rosanadeoliveiramoraes5405 Před 3 lety +108

      Always helps/do your part and takes other people's needs in consideration.
      That one time you don't do it: "You are so selfish".
      Still hard to deal with that instant guilt tho.

    • @avsambart
      @avsambart Před 3 lety +103

      Being told I'm selfish worries the fuck out of me cos I'm like 'i think about other people ALL THE TIME'

    • @clownvibes
      @clownvibes Před 3 lety +69

      @@rosanadeoliveiramoraes5405 Ugh this is too real. And once someone says that, you end up questioning all those times you were selfless and wonder why you did any of that. I honestly feel like I clowned myself whenever someone tells me I'm selfish. Like really? What about all those other times I put your needs before mine?

  • @laurenmonica2181
    @laurenmonica2181 Před 3 lety +5148

    The worst thing you could say to an INFJ:
    “You’re too sensitive.”

    • @BlackMagic1222
      @BlackMagic1222 Před 3 lety +135

      Omg i agree 💯! I had someone say that to me yesterday and I lost it! Worst thing to say ever!

    • @yonathanrakau1783
      @yonathanrakau1783 Před 3 lety +80

      Is it a bad thing to say it when its true? If you cant stand that when its true it means that you cant handle critizism well and thats not a good thing

    • @dbnd2240
      @dbnd2240 Před 3 lety +12

      yonathan rakau exactly

    • @blackjaxx2420
      @blackjaxx2420 Před 3 lety +5

      @@yonathanrakau1783 i know right...

    • @yonathanrakau1783
      @yonathanrakau1783 Před 3 lety +11

      @@VeuTrox either do i eventhough im a thinker type but i suck it up, harsh life has led me to get used by things like this somethimes you need to be forced of something you dont like in order to be stronger its not just an oppinion its a fact, and i dont think people like these are INFJs many INFJs are mistyped usually INFJs love harsh truth and considering majority of INFJs are just other types obsessed of being special or just taking mbti without learning about the theory i can see all the shits happening here

  • @alyannan2845
    @alyannan2845 Před rokem +56

    “Don’t be so sensitive it’s not that deep.”
    Yeah to INFJ it’s all deep.

  • @darkspice6339
    @darkspice6339 Před rokem +397

    You INFJ's are so pure and precious. Literal gold in my opinion. Never stop being kind my loves. You all have my heart. Even tho we might seem a bit insensitive and heartless at times just know we INTJ's appreciate you ❤

    • @donna4350
      @donna4350 Před rokem +35

      A compliment like that from an INTJ ❤ You just made my weekend. Live long and prosper, friend.

    • @darkspice6339
      @darkspice6339 Před rokem +10

      Aww no probs haha I would love to have a close and real infj friend instead.

    • @mysticpotatoza9328
      @mysticpotatoza9328 Před rokem +4

      I hate being an INFJ, I envy 'T' types

    • @lindagarcia8826
      @lindagarcia8826 Před rokem +3

      Darkspice
      Your are too kind 😊

    • @just-sayin67
      @just-sayin67 Před 11 měsíci +2

      Thank you!

  • @sheyna6058
    @sheyna6058 Před 3 lety +2576

    "You should be ashamed of yourself"
    Infj: Dies of shame and thinking about it for the rest of their life.

    • @jackieocean3511
      @jackieocean3511 Před 3 lety +27

      Sheyna If anyone told me that EVER, they are straight getting punched in the face. JK 😅 But I would shame their ass straight to hell. Ain’t nobody gonna judge ME. PERIOD. 😆

    • @quintuplebanned4267
      @quintuplebanned4267 Před 3 lety +2

      Sheyna okay, uh, no. That’s not a permanent state. You grow out of this pretty quickly as an INFJ, so, take heart.

    • @mantecada5660
      @mantecada5660 Před 3 lety +2

      Me

    • @Jpow915
      @Jpow915 Před 3 lety +5

      Sad but true

    • @stephieann6541
      @stephieann6541 Před 3 lety +11

      Immediately triggered

  • @wutt9368
    @wutt9368 Před 3 lety +7671

    I hate when I get ignored when I try to talk about something that is bothering me or just when someone acts uninterested in general when I share something about my personal life. I never talk to them about myself again.

    • @Karina-jb4sc
      @Karina-jb4sc Před 3 lety +493

      I feel the same way! Especially if I’m hanging out with friends and all they wanna do is talk about themselves and don’t care about anything you have to say reallyyyyy annoys me and causes me to never wanna talk about myself with that person and then they wonder why they don’t feel like know us...

    • @doubleu1446
      @doubleu1446 Před 3 lety +258

      Hate it when people just straight up ignore me when I tell 'em whats bothering me

    • @wutt9368
      @wutt9368 Před 3 lety +29

      @@Karina-jb4sc oof I feel youuuu

    • @wutt9368
      @wutt9368 Před 3 lety +22

      @@doubleu1446 honestly.

    • @eljaykayaye1186
      @eljaykayaye1186 Před 3 lety +46

      I've heard so much lately from both sides , the person overwhelmed by someone's problems and needs a health break and the person feeling uncared for or unheard. Only human and only so much energy these days. I listen to Jackson Browne These Days. Life is hard but also worth living. It's o.k to say. I don't feel heard please listen is this a good time to talk. Someone will be there at some point. Have patience but squeak your wheel if you so choose.

  • @12345directioner
    @12345directioner Před rokem +447

    I’m an INFJ who grew up with a very critical and shaming father. He used to refer to my younger brother and I as Danny and Dora dumb shit. This has plagued me my entire life. I did very well in college and went on to obtain a Masters degree in Oceanography, but never believed I was worthy or smart enough. I am 60 years old and still hear my fathers voice in my head sometimes.

    • @jannawalters232
      @jannawalters232 Před rokem +42

      So sorry about that! Your Dad doesn't define you. Tragic he lived that way.

    • @RelaxCreatorMary
      @RelaxCreatorMary Před rokem +10

      I feel you 😓

    • @thenightporter
      @thenightporter Před rokem +8

      I am just a few years younger than you and am in the same boat.

    • @thirstonhowellthebirdandfriend
      @thirstonhowellthebirdandfriend Před rokem +11

      Me too! I can totally relate. How could they have been so cruel and demeaning, I just will never understand.

    • @jonny1943
      @jonny1943 Před rokem +1

      Well he was a shit dad, probably pretty usuall in his generation but never the less, his hurtful words has ZERO weight for you, he was wrong and youre right.

  • @shank.7590
    @shank.7590 Před rokem +115

    It’s very hard for me to open my mouth so when I feel like people don’t care about what I say by not paying attention to the conversation, trying to stop me half way, not listening to me until I finish the sentence etc., I will just stop talking immediately and automatically shift my head to somewhere else. I’d rather talk to myself than talking to someone who doesn’t truly care about me.

    • @cavemanrob
      @cavemanrob Před rokem +1

      Same.

    • @robinbrewer681
      @robinbrewer681 Před rokem +5

      I understand this completely, it's exactly how my social interactions go. I just shut up. People talk over me as I'm speaking. So I sit quietly with my own thoughts and half the time don't even pay attention to others in the room.

    • @gargervon8697
      @gargervon8697 Před 2 měsíci +1

      My first boss in programming had this problem with me. When I would have a question (I was a junior programmer, just out of a 3-month crash course on C# and having to learn JQuery on the fly on the job), he would let me ask it, but then he would think he knew where I was going before I had finished speaking and try to address my question before I had really asked it. I am grateful to him for a lot of things, so let it never be said that I thought he was a terrible boss overall, but this was a big tension point between us. Often, I wasn't thinking what he thought I was thinking and would answer a question I wasn't asking, making it even harder for me to keep my train of thought on the rails. Shoot me down after I am done speaking if you must, but at least give me the dignity of having been allowed to finish.

    • @user-ik5sf1vq7p
      @user-ik5sf1vq7p Před 28 dny

      Same. It’s a gift and a curse.

  • @MitchiiNeonz
    @MitchiiNeonz Před 3 lety +5273

    I feel like INFJs are both the most popular and least popular at the same time in school lol

    • @ScarletTrygger
      @ScarletTrygger Před 3 lety +389

      It depends if they are INFJ -A (advocate assertive) or INFJ-T ( advocate turbulent). Assertive tend to deal with the spot light better. Turbulent tend to be more engrossed with their smaller group generally encompassed with their art. Being an INFJ-T I definitely fit into the second.

    • @ares9724
      @ares9724 Před 3 lety +135

      I can't say yes and I can't say no

    • @jen-kg3do
      @jen-kg3do Před 3 lety +382

      as an infj I can confirm (like, everyone knows my name and who I am but I also have like two close friends lol)

    • @Vi-olynn
      @Vi-olynn Před 3 lety +77

      That will be... Yes I'm som somehow unpopular that it become popular.

    • @ihavenoideahowtocallmyself3849
      @ihavenoideahowtocallmyself3849 Před 3 lety +9

      That’s true

  • @Thicc4080
    @Thicc4080 Před 3 lety +9479

    Never tell an INFJ anything negative. Because if you do that they will remember that dreadful moment for the rest of their lives........help me

    • @xmochilove
      @xmochilove Před 3 lety +954

      it then also gets added to the files in your head that your brain picks out at night for you to think about when you are trying to sleep 🙃

    • @nats92lilac
      @nats92lilac Před 3 lety +198

      That is so true unfortunately

    • @Thicc4080
      @Thicc4080 Před 3 lety +298

      @@xmochilove I might have to report you for exposing my night time activities smh get out of my head

    • @qu0thraven
      @qu0thraven Před 3 lety +34

      @Gary Bradburn - You stole my comment, man! ;)
      Good job! :D

    • @lamp9359
      @lamp9359 Před 3 lety +29

      Or learn to deal with it :)

  • @karenreiter533
    @karenreiter533 Před rokem +104

    This is a great list for sure. I would also add: Don’t tell an INFJ that you are disappointed in them. We take all kinds of measures to prevent people from being disappointed in us. This statement would be truly hurtful to us.

  • @psalms3-3
    @psalms3-3 Před 2 lety +384

    Ive been in a relationship where gaslighting was used on me, and it used to work really well on my personality type until I happened across a gaslighting infographic online and realized I was a victim. I think INFJ’s are very susceptible to being told theyre wrong, theyre misremembering or missing details or their judgement isn’t solid or theyre too emotional. When I finally woke up to the gaslighting I was forced to re-learn how to trust myself, my judgement, my logic, and my thought processes.

    • @ccpr15
      @ccpr15 Před rokem +37

      Omgsh this almost made me cry. As an INFJ, I’ve been manipulated and gaslit by so many people. I’ve changed my behavior so many times to accommodate others, to the point that I feel I’ve lost myself. Your comment really resonates with me. Thank you for sharing.

    • @cc1k435
      @cc1k435 Před rokem +24

      If you are an empath, you're naturally going to draw narcissists. It's just part of the territory. Just learn to spot them better. I have decided to think of it as part of the long learning process that is life. 😕

    • @katyl1030
      @katyl1030 Před rokem +7

      That’s a very important point you’ve brought up.

    • @carolyntalbot947
      @carolyntalbot947 Před rokem +14

      You may find that with age and experience you will develop an uncanny gaslighting radar, so that even when you don't know for sure someone you're interacting with is a narcissist you will make a mental note when they seem manipulative. You will also likely become more assertive in saying no and feel less compelled to explain yourself to protect their feelings. Be wary, if you have dated a true narcissist it means you are likely an attractive target, with the emotional depth/intelligence they crave. Be well, sis.

    • @bozenapiniecka2180
      @bozenapiniecka2180 Před rokem

      @@carolyntalbot947 After 49years the "Observing and Experiencing" training programme has been overhauled to the next level of... See the "Red Flag, Acknowledge and About-Turn" protocol!

  • @KC-li8sv
    @KC-li8sv Před 3 lety +5345

    I'm an infj and I don't like being blamed for something I did not do.

    • @turtlie7309
      @turtlie7309 Před 3 lety +368

      Most people don’t lol

    • @Annat4r
      @Annat4r Před 3 lety +185

      I am also an INFJ and this annoys me like nothing else

    • @nigerundayo1996
      @nigerundayo1996 Před 3 lety +93

      Mega Man ikr it makes me lose my shit more than anything

    • @starlamoon286
      @starlamoon286 Před 3 lety +140

      Yes but I think that bothers most people. I mostly struggle with not getting too defensive because people will say since you are being defensive that you must be guilty. No, I'm just offended that you think I did something I didn't do lol.

    • @PeridotCentichannel
      @PeridotCentichannel Před 3 lety +2

      Fr

  • @avsambart
    @avsambart Před 3 lety +7641

    Let me just add:
    When people lie in front of INFJs and they think they're getting away with it. NO. We know you lied. We're just not pointing it out because you've just lost any and all respect and effort from us.

    • @doubleu1446
      @doubleu1446 Před 3 lety +354

      Yup! That's a door slam

    • @AnnMarieKing
      @AnnMarieKing Před 3 lety +192

      I wish I could like this 50 times over!

    • @geensjc
      @geensjc Před 3 lety +418

      Exactly!! And I hate when you tell someone this and they respond with “you should’ve called them out on that” when it’s like, why would I? Losing my respect is enough. Why waste energy doing that ugh

    • @Nessainthebuilding
      @Nessainthebuilding Před 3 lety +182

      @@geensjc YES! OH MY GOD! Perfectly said! Once they've crossed that line they're no longer worth the effort

    • @michellemcmichael4680
      @michellemcmichael4680 Před 3 lety +23

      Like

  • @alexandrialeonora6542
    @alexandrialeonora6542 Před rokem +547

    For the INFJs here, I have a question about when you were a child. Did you used to get bullied in school? Also, did you always stand up for your friends when someone tried to bully them, but find that no one stood up for you when you were the one getting bullied? (And you didn't stand up for yourself either, thus taking the bully's words to heart?) Just wondering if that's a common experience we INFJs share.

    • @stefsteph3960
      @stefsteph3960 Před rokem +33

      I am not bullied in school. But most people do misunderstood me

    • @thursdayray
      @thursdayray Před rokem +71

      As an INFJ i was never bullied but I always stood up for people who were bullied. And altho I was friendly with everyone not everyone was friendly with me, like for example some people would ignore me when i asked a question or would rather hang out with “cooler” friends. However that didnt mean they bullied me and i didnt really mind HAHAHA

    • @cassiebennet4262
      @cassiebennet4262 Před rokem +43

      Absolutely. I remember my little sisters enemies were terrified of me. I didn't know this until years later. I myself was horribly bullied. I never stuck up for myself but I doggedly defended everyone else.

    • @everenrae9005
      @everenrae9005 Před rokem +32

      I wasn’t bullied, but I was made fun in middle school. I’ve always been good at standing up for my friends, but when it comes to myself I never knew what to say to say and would just cry or embarrass myself.

    • @ikaru5089
      @ikaru5089 Před rokem +34

      I was bullied and I also defended people who were bullied, even if they weren't my friends

  • @yuiiida1011
    @yuiiida1011 Před rokem +88

    I cried while I was watching the last part.... I'm Japanese and INFJ, and I was really stressed in Japanese society. I think this is because Japanese culture is 'Culture of shame'. We sometimes need to think about the feeling of others too much. And I always felt guilty about something, and always thought 'I'm not enough.' Thank you for letting me realise about this idea!!!

    • @abad-enoughdude._.3919
      @abad-enoughdude._.3919 Před rokem +1

      This reminds me of 'The Chrysanthemum and the Sword', a Japanese anthropology book when it discusses the concept of 'on'. I would think the Japanese would accept this feeling since it's part of the culture but I suppose it really is hard on people no matter what.

    • @BlueSkyOcean
      @BlueSkyOcean Před 4 měsíci +1

      Cheers for you. I am Taiwanese and infj. Traveling in Japan I can totally feel the micro aggression even though I don’t speak the language. Many underline rules that I don’t get since I am foreigner. Sometimes I feel bad for people who wants to have more freedom in this country. Hopefully Japanese culture will change a bit since so many foreigners move there. Good luck to you!

  • @ThrifterPickerShipper
    @ThrifterPickerShipper Před 2 lety +3786

    As an INFJ I literally panic and hate it when someone says, "Why don't you decide?" or "You make the decision." I don't want to do that. First of all I'm happier when you decide because I can adapt. Secondly I have no idea if what I decide will make you happy or make you uncomfortable lol.

  • @jenniferbattleman3334
    @jenniferbattleman3334 Před 3 lety +2462

    T types to INFJs: "You're too emotional."
    Other F types to INFJs: "You're cold."

    • @2xcrzkxk
      @2xcrzkxk Před 3 lety +73

      Bingo

    • @LevenLyfe
      @LevenLyfe Před 3 lety +116

      Unfeeling and uncaring!!!! Yes I care but how is your problem my responsibility?

    • @Britneyspears482
      @Britneyspears482 Před 3 lety +70

      INFJs are not too emotional. They are usually mad and paranoid.

    • @jenniferbattleman3334
      @jenniferbattleman3334 Před 3 lety +60

      @@Britneyspears482 it's all about p e r c e p t I o n

    • @dawnpowell7930
      @dawnpowell7930 Před 3 lety +17

      Yes! All the time. It’s annoying.

  • @VaVa94936
    @VaVa94936 Před rokem +53

    Lately, a collegue of mine told me "You don't understand me" and "You betrayed me", after I told her that I have been currently more a psychologist than a friend. I passed so many times listening to her talking about her childhood/life, giving advices, encouraging her, being honest as possible, and facilitating her socialization. I feel hurt and sad, especially misunderstood by her, who has done almost nothing for me. To be my friend, I really need a good psychological, emotional and intellectual connection.
    PS : Sorry for my english, I am not an english native speaker.

    • @lucy9698
      @lucy9698 Před 8 měsíci

      Sounds like someone deserves a door slam

    • @More.h
      @More.h Před 7 měsíci +6

      Im not an infj but I totaly get what you're saying
      Just know that you are not alone

    • @Danny-Stylish
      @Danny-Stylish Před 4 měsíci

      Those type of people are just dumb loosers, they could get better by at least trying but then decide the easy way, "this person will do it for me"

    • @kerstingravel8160
      @kerstingravel8160 Před 2 měsíci +2

      That was so harsh after you spent so much time for this person. Unfortunately some people’s are like vampires. Just taking and never giving anything back. Maybe you can see it as something where you can learn from, so that people can’t exploit you so easily in the future anymore.

    • @Marshmallowssss
      @Marshmallowssss Před měsícem

      Im sorry that happened to you,i have a girlfriend who is also and infj and to this day i still have to learn and take notes on how not to offend her in any way,due to her being the only infj ik which is pretty cool.Anyway i hope you are and will feeling better and please take care of yourself❤

  • @slosubies4845
    @slosubies4845 Před rokem +55

    Practical INFJ male here. Maybe it's a result of growing up without much money, but I've always been quite practical and efficient in most things. That said, if anyone tells me I HAVE TO do something, I'm going to every length to prove I don't have to do that, no matter how practical and positive that thing might be. Anytime my supervisor tells me to do something a different way, it feels like micro-management, especially when I'm getting the desired results doing it my way. And there's no need to shame me - if I messed something up, I'm already beating myself up worse than anyone else can. Spot on, Frank.

    • @lucy9698
      @lucy9698 Před 8 měsíci +1

      Same. Although I'm an INFJ I'm usually quite practical. I'm also totally ok with being spontaneous, as long as it's not a matter that would actually have some sort of effect on reality. But it all absolutely has to be my way unless you can prove to me that your way is, indeed, more practical or at the very least not outright dumb. Otherwise, it will be a veeeery long discussion while I try to figure out how to explain to you how I reached the conclusion that I did 🤣

    • @MzShiningSylvia
      @MzShiningSylvia Před 5 měsíci +3

      This is entire paragraph is me. Im an INFJ female. Growing up poor has made me very practical.

    • @jenniferrevilla5298
      @jenniferrevilla5298 Před 5 měsíci +2

      When someone tells me I ,have to, need to do something, it brings out the donkey in me and she is a super stubborn critter, lol

    • @rhiannonmackenzie2527
      @rhiannonmackenzie2527 Před 4 měsíci +1

      Yeah, I'm fairly practical and don't mind spontaneity - sometimes even enjoy it.
      I once started a new role and my boss didn't tell me how to do it for 8 months (despite asking), so I figured it out and it was going well, my team were happy, things were running smoothly etc. Then my boss said I should be doing it another way, but after 8 months of doing it my way and it working without her input, I really didn't want to change things up.

    • @damothepianist
      @damothepianist Před 2 měsíci

      Yes I'd say I'm practical too

  • @geensjc
    @geensjc Před 3 lety +4526

    “You’re so quiet”
    “Speak up”
    “Get involved”
    “Come on, socialise”
    “Consider coming out of your shell more”
    “Why are you so quiet”
    “You’re so fussy”
    “You’re so picky”
    “ Put yourself out there more”
    “You need to be more confident”
    “How are you going to have kids if you’re so anxious”
    “Don’t be awkward”
    “You’re a quiet achiever but we need to focus on your brand”

    • @LatinaChef1986
      @LatinaChef1986 Před 3 lety +156

      All of this, for real! As I of lately I have been getting this. Ugh.

    • @GopherwoodExpress
      @GopherwoodExpress Před 3 lety +262

      "Speak up" is the most complicated phrase because it insinuates they care about my opinion and value my ideas but at the same time it can make me feel like my quietness isn't enough and therefore my value gets placed on my words instead of my presence

    • @exo_nct_wayv_redvelvet
      @exo_nct_wayv_redvelvet Před 3 lety +171

      my god I relate to this so much... why do they think being quiet is wrong? extroverts want people to talk all the time and are extremely loud. small talks are so boring to me, it's not that I'm quiet but if I have nothing good to say I prefer not saying it instead of just saying "really?/yes/no/good /great/LOL" like, it doesn't add up anything and just extend the long small talk ...

    • @merlinjames5954
      @merlinjames5954 Před 3 lety +39

      My heart..

    • @exo_nct_wayv_redvelvet
      @exo_nct_wayv_redvelvet Před 3 lety +59

      @Stxrs_Fxrever agree. esp "coming out of the shell more" like, this... is... who... I... am... though? 🤔

  • @bingbongo9500
    @bingbongo9500 Před 3 lety +3847

    INFJ’s are amazing thinkers and have some of the best ideas but often have trouble finding the words to say it. People also like to to talk over them and assume an INFJ’s silence equals stupidity 🙂

    • @lrwiersum
      @lrwiersum Před 3 lety +220

      Putting our thoughts into words. They don’t have words for most of my thoughts.

    • @amyphillips9846
      @amyphillips9846 Před 3 lety +100

      I always want to (and often do) say, “let me just draw you a picture.”

    • @ShellStein93
      @ShellStein93 Před 3 lety +28

      This is 100% true

    • @ogmickeydiamond
      @ogmickeydiamond Před 3 lety +56

      Stupidity or shyness/lack of confidence!

    • @newgenerationanpanman7870
      @newgenerationanpanman7870 Před 3 lety +36

      Don't make it an INFJ thing tho. Speaking out correctly in public to be heard is important. I wish I had learned this earlier. Keep practicing and you'll get better♡

  • @vira7684
    @vira7684 Před rokem +42

    Never ask a question and then don't listen to the answer or just walk away. That kills me every time! As an INFJ, that forces me to lose respect for the person almost instantly.

  • @whofandb
    @whofandb Před rokem +172

    "You're just weird" is one thing that you shouldn't say to an INFJ. We know we process information and experiences a little differently so we already know we're "weird." Saying that to a young INFJ is pretty mean. Even adult INFJs don't like to be reminded about being different. There is simply no reason to say it unless you're trying to hurt their feelings. You shouldn't say it to anyone. Saying it to an INFJ can trigger a shame spiral because it reinforces the idea that we really don't belong anywhere. We spend our entire lives trying to exist in a world that doesn't understand us so we don't need you to share your heartless rude analysis of us. I was always the weird kid growing up and even in my 20s.

    • @bananachachen8068
      @bananachachen8068 Před 9 měsíci +10

      AYO why is the so real. I always try to laugh off indirect ‘insults’ or words that have a second meaning but I become quieter and become more conscious of my actions or if I’m acting too much but being called “weird” would shut me down

    • @midnightlibra1100
      @midnightlibra1100 Před 8 měsíci +8

      If an INTJ ever says, "You're weird." Its a compliment. Because everyone is boring to us, weird is new, weird is different and complex. You're different than everyone else, which is precisely why we like you guys so much. That's how I interpret "weird". To be not stale like everyone else.

    • @lucy9698
      @lucy9698 Před 8 měsíci +4

      Personally I embrace the weirdness. Can't weaponize what doesn't belong to you, so to speak. The only people whose opinions matter are those closest to our hearts, no matter how much value we may subconsciously place on other people's views. My response would be, "I'm weirdly unique and you're mediocre at best" 😝

    • @whofandb
      @whofandb Před 8 měsíci

      Accepting your own weirdness is one thing. Others using the word to denigrate you is a different matter entirely.@@lucy9698

    • @leointheblues
      @leointheblues Před 8 měsíci +1

      Tbh as an infj if anyone says I’m “weird” it’s really upsetting and offensive for some reason .. idk y I’m like this that I never fit in anywhere .. but I have come to accept that I am the way I am and it makes sense to my perception. People should really be more empathetic to saying that to anyone ❤

  • @LouiseYu502
    @LouiseYu502 Před 3 lety +1063

    Someone: *calls my name in a not so happy tone*
    Me: Oh no. What did I do this time?

  • @aubreebethune1674
    @aubreebethune1674 Před 3 lety +2979

    For me, it’s “Shut up.” People have no idea how much energy it takes for me (such as trying to gather confidence or planning what I’m about to say) when I choose to say something. When I give my input on a situation, it means that it’s important to me. When someone instantly tries to shut me down by saying that, without even trying to understand why I’m saying what I’m saying, it REALLY gets to me.

    • @lolkayleen2757
      @lolkayleen2757 Před 3 lety +85

      That’s why I’ll never tell a person to shut up even if it doesn’t get to them as much as me

    • @BloodyMary420
      @BloodyMary420 Před 3 lety +81

      I felt this. No one should say that to anyone.

    • @Harukaluin19
      @Harukaluin19 Před 3 lety +14

      Sammmme it really makes me boil to the core I almost punch someone

    • @kierafaelacabalse3737
      @kierafaelacabalse3737 Před 3 lety +8

      Accurate

    • @alans1404
      @alans1404 Před 3 lety +22

      Yeah I hear you there. But with experience in these kind of issues I find they arent worth the energy. Instantly the wall goes up and conversation ends.

  • @juliesisemore7594
    @juliesisemore7594 Před rokem +87

    As an INFJ who grew up in a household where shame was used a lot, I can say I absolutely still struggle with shame a lot. If I'm shamed for something, even unintentionally, I will never do that thing again. Even if the other person isn't aware that what they said resulted in that. I realize this is my issue to overcome (rather than place blame somewhere else), but it's probably my #1, lifelong challenge.

    • @LauraForest
      @LauraForest Před rokem +2

      Yes, those shame thoughts are such pests! I hope you're finding they are easier to shake off with practice. If it's any help, leaning into my faith made a night and day difference for my shame issues.

  • @Brittrawlings311
    @Brittrawlings311 Před rokem +11

    My very recent ex literally said everyone of these things to me. Daily. Every single day.
    I quit my 9-5 job, isolated myself from all of my friends and family, quit my side-hustle business that paid my bills, depleted my $8k savings, I started sleeping all day, started antidepressants, started therapy, quit therapy, I lost hope in every single ability, self-esteem dropped to -30, my hair started falling out, I then started forgetting/not wanting to take care of myself.
    I kicked him out yesterday. I am broke af and 3 days late on my rent, a month behind on my car note, my phone is suspended, I have zero groceries, no gas money, not a single penny, not a single person I could call to talk to. I don’t start my new job for another 5 days.
    And with all of this going wrong, sitting on the coldest rock bottom, this is the most peace I’ve had in 2 years.
    Please be careful who you let into your heart and mind. I believe as INFJs we are quick to accept blame, believe criticisms, and we take it hard.

    • @TheWBWoman
      @TheWBWoman Před rokem +1

      I hope things are going better in your life these days!

    • @lextor4712
      @lextor4712 Před rokem +1

      So sorry for you. I hope your live got better!

  • @kurloveskitties8667
    @kurloveskitties8667 Před 3 lety +3870

    I think one of the worst things to hear as an INFJ is "you're fake" because we are so concerned with making everyone feel good and be happy that when they say that not only are they attacking your whole cognitive process but it's also like throwing it in your face that you are failing at that, you are not making people happy, they don't like you

    • @TheGhjgjgjgjgjg
      @TheGhjgjgjgjgjg Před 3 lety +179

      I've found people who say that are usually projecting their fear of being genuine with others.They see you being authentic but it makes them insecure so they lash out

    • @evahahaha
      @evahahaha Před 3 lety +232

      I can't even help it. I have different behaviours around my different social groups and whenever someone calls me fake its like I'm doing this for you and now I feel dumb af

    • @rx500android
      @rx500android Před 3 lety +13

      Oof true

    • @kurloveskitties8667
      @kurloveskitties8667 Před 3 lety +92

      Eva that is so true, then joining different groups is the worst thing ever because you are a different type of person for every group & you got no idea how to act

    • @M_SC
      @M_SC Před 3 lety +20

      Eva Linoj it’s called code switching

  • @prettykittiecandie5909
    @prettykittiecandie5909 Před 3 lety +3372

    INFJs also can't stand seeing rudeness or oblivious people, that annoys me so much
    Oh yeah, thanks for all the likes :3

    • @anjithaa4521
      @anjithaa4521 Před 3 lety +9

      Yes

    • @Plushtrapxy
      @Plushtrapxy Před 3 lety +4

      yes

    • @daniellewalker256
      @daniellewalker256 Před 3 lety +15

      I’m telling you, I need an INFJ. (I’m ENFP)

    • @prettykittiecandie5909
      @prettykittiecandie5909 Před 3 lety +19

      Oof, I just noticed my comment sounds a bit like I'm some snob, no, I am not, just to put that out there.
      Well, I hope I'm not at least.

    • @trickstersenses
      @trickstersenses Před 3 lety +8

      @@daniellewalker256 hey I’m an INFJ, we can be friends :)

  • @ayesha_shah9
    @ayesha_shah9 Před rokem +61

    I'm an INFJ, and coincidentally, I have been through some serious trauma lately. I had severe scoliosis, and I spent many years trapped at home behind four walls because my condition was very unstable. For me, there was no hope, I became so pessimistic and self-destructive, and my INFJ personality hyped up everything. I can't describe the emotional torture I went through because of my own brain. I had surgery last year, and now, finally, things have started to settle down. I've always been told how sensitive I am. It was only last year that I found out about my MBTI, and now I realise how my personality type enhanced my sensitivity in that stressful situation. If I had known it before, maybe I would have dealt with things much better. I'm now attending therapy, and my therapist tells me how much of an ambitious personality I have. Finally, I feel at least some peace. Now I can start being healthier mentally too; I'm really trying to stabilise all these extremes of my personality. I'm so happy I found your channel; it made me laugh and helped me embrace and understand my personality.

    • @grace_evans.
      @grace_evans. Před rokem +5

      So happy your doing fine, sorry for everything you went through, your gonna be OK 😊 God bless ❤

    • @ayesha_shah9
      @ayesha_shah9 Před rokem +2

      @@grace_evans. thanks ♥️♥️

    • @rominarittley3056
      @rominarittley3056 Před 10 měsíci +3

      Just know that even if not everything is ok there will always be people that will directly or indirectly support you and wish the best for you. I have an INFJ friend who also deals with scoliosis and trauma. From my experience you are not too sensitive, I think the rest of the people are too selfish to acknowledge and understand other's feelings. Have a nice day and keep going 💪💜

    • @jerrimenard3092
      @jerrimenard3092 Před 10 měsíci +2

      I am an INFJ and I had a full posterior spinal fusion at age 15. I feel your pain, literally. It's good you have a there because this is traumatic. It won't be something you just get over.

  • @rmkpilates
    @rmkpilates Před 7 měsíci +59

    As an INFJ it is extremely difficult for me to tell a lie.
    I do not like to hurt anyone, so I may soften the truth.
    But an outright lie is very hard for me and I always regret
    not being 100% truthful. P.S. As hard as it is being like
    we are I would never ever change who I am.
    Be you, be proud and be strong. Love to you all.

    • @cellgrrl
      @cellgrrl Před 3 měsíci

      I am a INTJ and feel very much the same. I am so sensitive to honestly that even speaking a foreign language makes me feel like I am lying. I feel I am not being authentic. If I were I would be speaking my native language English.

    • @user-ik5sf1vq7p
      @user-ik5sf1vq7p Před 28 dny

      Me too.

  • @user-do2ls3jx3m
    @user-do2ls3jx3m Před 3 lety +1656

    Infj: Let’s be more spontaneous and healthy!
    Other people: Hey let’s do this new unplanned thing.
    Infj: *N O*

    • @Gio-sx7kt
      @Gio-sx7kt Před 3 lety +29

      That totally sounds like my conversations with my roommate.😂

    • @toffyy33
      @toffyy33 Před 3 lety +12

      The story of my life lol

    • @nicotien6746
      @nicotien6746 Před 3 lety +6

      😂😂😂😂

    • @umsrum
      @umsrum Před 3 lety +20

      this is making me wonder how infj and enfp get along so well lol

    • @dariafrench3147
      @dariafrench3147 Před 3 lety +5

      Litterally me

  • @littlepearlsofrandomness
    @littlepearlsofrandomness Před 3 lety +2219

    As an INFJ, one sentence that gives me heart palpitations at work is “let me give you some feedback”. Code for “let me tell you everything that is wrong with you”

    • @infjelphabasupporter8416
      @infjelphabasupporter8416 Před 3 lety +27

      YES

    • @charlottev6689
      @charlottev6689 Před 3 lety +53

      My worst nightmare in a sentence.

    • @LulabellaDonna
      @LulabellaDonna Před 3 lety +74

      Often I wonder if INFJ's somehow exhibit a characteristic that gives many people (usually controllers or narcs) the GO light to TELL US WHAT to THINK, and WHAT to DO, and also WHAT is WRONG with our thinking and decisions. I see this with political issues now, it appears we are not allowed to have our own ideas, opinions and actions without being belittled by people who listen to CNN all day long. Unreal. I walk away from many of these people and stick with a close friend group who are able to see what is actually happening in our world. I am a practical INFJ.

    • @lojanta
      @lojanta Před 3 lety +5

      AGREED

    • @RiotgrrrlPearl
      @RiotgrrrlPearl Před 3 lety +4

      Same

  • @katyl1030
    @katyl1030 Před rokem +36

    I was always different, but only discovered a few years ago that I am an INFJ. I was so relieved. I actually like the person I am because I am very kind, helpful, and give great advice. I always say that I’m an outgoing Introvert because I can talk to anyone; however, it can drain me if the conversation goes on too long. I then need to recharge by being alone. Overall, INFJs are good people and make great friends.

  • @jamlaw
    @jamlaw Před rokem +14

    Here is a big one: "You're overthinking". This drives me NUTS. I have heard this so many times. Pretty much always from guys I'm with. It's especially upsetting because it feels like a dismissive way to stop me from being myself, or stop the conversation because they are uncomfortable, but then they can blame it on me. Especially because I'm probably sharing or bringing them into something vulnerable (rare) in order to connect with them!! It's such a turn off and also feels like I'm being shamed.
    My friend and I were out last week and I was really getting overstimualted socially and triggered by something happening. I was hiding it but started to tell him I was feeling off and asking him for reassurance. He said "...I think you're overthinking it" like it was all so easy to just turn off my processes.
    I was going to do what I normally do (say "oh...ya, you're right, I probably am") and then fade into the background and act fine, feeling misunderstood and confused. But I tried something new and said "...I know I'm overthinking! That's the point! That's why I'm asking for help!".... then I felt bad about that and he didn't seem to know what to say and it solved nothing. It was terrible. 😂

  • @sallybradshaw4576
    @sallybradshaw4576 Před 3 lety +1391

    Me, an INFJ: I'm spontaneous! How dare you!
    Also me: *has a Google Doc with a list of possible activities to do with friends, what to talk about, who to invite, and what movies to watch based on who's there*

    • @Ay.--
      @Ay.-- Před 3 lety +26

      I cant believe how accurate this is!

    • @Abue52
      @Abue52 Před 3 lety +3

      Same

    • @Abue52
      @Abue52 Před 3 lety +12

      I have them but never do them

    • @geokid3026
      @geokid3026 Před 3 lety

      Same man

    • @mihayuli
      @mihayuli Před 3 lety +5

      That is a great idea! omg

  • @parymah
    @parymah Před 2 lety +2758

    "INFJs always just have this anxiety of, I'm missing something. There's something i'm not seeing. I don't have all the information."
    That's so very true :)

    • @horrortales4330
      @horrortales4330 Před 2 lety +26

      And they say don't find answers !! How do we do that . There is no switch to turn that curiosity off 😣😣

    • @justinag536
      @justinag536 Před 2 lety +18

      So in reality we do seek information

    • @leaht4555
      @leaht4555 Před 2 lety +3

      So so true 😢

    • @Lazy_Loria
      @Lazy_Loria Před 2 lety +5

      Relatable

    • @angelm6497
      @angelm6497 Před 2 lety

      I think this list has been put out to make you doubt yourselves. You hold onto the label of INFJ and think if this list isn't correct then I'm not an INFJ. Really!
      Think about it guys and have confidence in yourself! Don't allow someone to put you in a box with false labels. This whole podcast is a complete mind Fk! You see this guy as knowledgeable because he's got a huge following do think unless I accept these traits as listed then I'm not an INFJ. And of course then there is the play on your shadow because the title is things you never day to an INFJ because they can't accept it!
      It's a loose loose scenario!
      Don't allow yourself to be defined by a list especially from someone who clearly has issues himself!
      Do the F'ng Test!

  • @Sunny25611
    @Sunny25611 Před rokem +18

    When anyone tells me “It’s a conversation that needs to be had.” I am likely to say “No”. This is because I’ve already thought it through and made my decision based on every possible scenario and frankly I refuse to engage in an argument with anyone whose goal is simply to win at any cost.

  • @Timberwolf35546
    @Timberwolf35546 Před rokem +11

    Being an infj is extremely tough having severe anxiety. Especially being told growing up that you're inadequate or a failure.

  • @Nurichiri
    @Nurichiri Před 3 lety +2075

    When an INFJ makes the effort to tell/show you something do NOT brush them off. When we make the effort to find you and interact with you, it means we value you . You brush us off we don't value you so much any more. (edit for typo)

    • @mariamamokete3353
      @mariamamokete3353 Před 3 lety +39

      This is so true!

    • @newgenerationanpanman7870
      @newgenerationanpanman7870 Před 3 lety +80

      Happened to me yesterday. I was always so excited to share stuff with these people- be it new music, yt videos or anything and then they just don't pay attention or say something like "hmm yeah it's ok" or "it's fine". Needless to say, I was sick of them and am planning to block them.

    • @user-ng8gm9pb4v
      @user-ng8gm9pb4v Před 3 lety +24

      It happened to me today. Wait a moment... it happens to me all the time 🥲

    • @katien3022
      @katien3022 Před 3 lety +15

      So true!!! I really only put a lot of effort or initiative into people I value or want to know better.

    • @user-ng8gm9pb4v
      @user-ng8gm9pb4v Před 3 lety +2

      @@katien3022 me too

  • @kauaiank4537
    @kauaiank4537 Před 3 lety +2316

    The worst feeling is when you don't think anyone understands you

    • @protorhinocerator142
      @protorhinocerator142 Před 3 lety +29

      I would try to be funny here and ask you what you mean by that.
      But... you know.

    • @Amreva
      @Amreva Před 3 lety +4

      👊

    • @psychicdevelopmentexercise
      @psychicdevelopmentexercise Před 3 lety +2

      yeppers peppers

    • @Davi.u_u
      @Davi.u_u Před 3 lety +16

      Especially going to school and being rly pumped about something, going into full description etc. And the teacher’s like: “👁👄👁 yeeeaaah... so red and yellow make orange”

    • @zwolf2453
      @zwolf2453 Před 3 lety +7

      I relate to this

  • @anikrana84
    @anikrana84 Před rokem +21

    As an INFJ myself
    This video is really hurtful but at the same time brutally true.😓

  • @ddabrowski88
    @ddabrowski88 Před rokem +14

    I agree with this so much. I'm a manager and I love organising, improving things, discussing ideas with staff and making things better. I hate getting questioned on my final plan, especially when it's from people who haven't seen the bigger picture or who haven't bothered themselves. I've done each thing for a reason.
    I also hate how I make things detailed enough to log information we need and balanced it with time we have to keep it up daily. Then someone comes in trying to add too many small details that don't matter so much. I'm like we have so much to do in so little time I need it clear, functionable and simple to keep on top of daily for the staff. Rant over but this video spot on. Going through this right now. 😫

  • @Makacoke66
    @Makacoke66 Před 3 lety +1402

    When I announce a decision (move, divorce, whatever), and they say, “That’s so fast! Have you given this any thought?!” * yeah. For the last 3 years. I just didn’t run it by you or anyone else.

    • @vegasrenie
      @vegasrenie Před 3 lety +14

      Karen Smith - Yes!

    • @kiskadee321
      @kiskadee321 Před 3 lety +14

      OMG so much this

    • @PeleLua1
      @PeleLua1 Před 3 lety +3

      Yes yes yes !!!! This !

    • @sk_abstract_art
      @sk_abstract_art Před 3 lety +20

      And have thought through every possible idea/option...😬 yup!

    • @ukitkatcello6306
      @ukitkatcello6306 Před 3 lety +15

      So me, man. Overthinking and brooding until it’s all perfectly worked out......

  • @pollysanders4630
    @pollysanders4630 Před 3 lety +1911

    One thing to never DO to an INFJ: Choose someone else. They will be done with you. They may still love you, but they will not want you back. They do not play second best after they have revealed themselves to you, and you chose to reveal yourself to someone else. They are done.

    • @marketawilezinska8817
      @marketawilezinska8817 Před 3 lety +64

      Okay.... that really resonates with me. Ever since I learned about me being the INJF (it's 18 hours) I keep jumping from "I see people as abstract constructs" to "I see patterns and get upset over possibilities and I excit the relationship once I figured out THE PATTERN (I made about them) doesn't suit me." I felt super guilty about it. Like... I make my probles and its all in my head. But seing what you wrote... you are right!
      I would forgive people everything. I don't have many close friends. If they act like they're sorry, I would forgive them everything. BUT NOT CHOSING SOMEONE ELSE OVER ME. I don't care if that person has golden genitals. Friend of 8 years decided to choose possible hookup instead of taking my side/doing what we planned for ages. I see it as betrayal. It doesn't match with my idea of how friends are supposed to treat each other.
      Betray me once, shame on you.
      Betray me twice, shame on me.
      Betray me thrice, there's now WANTED poster of you on my wall. PATTERNS proved to be right. Dead or alive. I'm going to remove myself emotionally from this relationship and there's nothing you can do to change that.
      It would be easier if we weren't roommates.

    • @ghefiraschannel182
      @ghefiraschannel182 Před 3 lety +58

      As an INFJ, this is a yes. But lately, I've been realizing this could be my negative trait too. Sometimes I overthink that someone else's actions means they choose someone else over me, instead of just take it with a grain of salt and not overreact.

    • @twoone871
      @twoone871 Před 3 lety +31

      I’m a INFJ-A and I’m not sure why, but I don’t feel like this. If they choose someone else, I would feel sad but like if that person can make them happier or help them achieve their goal, then I’m fine with it. I would be sad but not angry. Am I the only one?

    • @pollysanders6395
      @pollysanders6395 Před 3 lety +53

      There may have been a slight misunderstanding here. I would not be angry with them. I would simply choose not to pursue the relationship further. If there is doubt on the other person's behalf, then they were obviously not that certain about me. I'm an all or nothing sort when it comes to that sort of thing. And if the person left the other person for me, I would think s/he might always wonder what it would have been like had they chosen the other person. I don't want that for them. I want them to be certain. And if they choose the other person, I want them to be happy. But I don't want to be the third denominator in a relationship that could have been. So I save them the choice. I choose to remove myself from their uncertainty. Does that make sense?

    • @schweizer93
      @schweizer93 Před 3 lety +1

      You're right..

  • @kingfisher9553
    @kingfisher9553 Před 23 dny +2

    "tell me what you're all about" Good god, man. Neither of us will live long enough to hear that story.

  • @Mb00002
    @Mb00002 Před 5 měsíci +5

    It’s the first time I’m hearing about INFJ personality and it gave me goosebumps. All these years I have always felt different and don’t really know why and hearing these traits rings a lot of bells. I live with someone who never plans and it’s stressing me a lot, I like knowing what’s ahead so I can make plans and play a scenario in my head. I’m highly intuitive and most of the time it’s right so I am more anxious when my intuition kicks in. I always see patterns in any situation, people, places and it’s driving me nuts when I confirm that my intuition is right and I didn’t follow it. I put a lot of effort in everything I do, my husband always tells me not to sweat and it upsets me because I believe that even small things deserve more time. In my mind, I’m already making the effort so I should make it worthwhile.
    It’s quite tiring, thank you for your advise about managing my thoughts and actions better.

  • @kensears5099
    @kensears5099 Před 3 lety +1356

    Here's one never to say to an INFJ: "Don't you ever think about other people's feelings?"

  • @madisonaubrey6076
    @madisonaubrey6076 Před 3 lety +340

    “Tell me about yourself.”
    “...”
    *Spontaneous combustion*

  • @Denebreus
    @Denebreus Před měsícem +2

    "I don't know who you really are."
    Welcome to the club. I learn something new about myself all the time, and I've already been around for a while.

  • @Ohem1
    @Ohem1 Před rokem +19

    I, throughout childhood, more or less was forced to adapt into behaviors that’s norm in other personality types. But over the course of years I realized I’m an INFJ who had to behave differently for others sake, but now as an independent adult strives to be an INTJ (because emotions usually are in the way for my internal thoughts).

  • @yvfrvn
    @yvfrvn Před 3 lety +873

    my friend : wow u look so beautiful . what skincare did u use ?
    me : ahh thank you . i just-
    my friend : looks uninterested
    me : finish what im saying and never talk to them again

    • @protorhinocerator142
      @protorhinocerator142 Před 3 lety +68

      When I was at Dover there was a guy who would do that to me. He would ask me a direct question and then after 3 seconds lose interest in my answer and start looking around.
      I kept talking. At first it was actual answer stuff but then it was just rambling filler. This would last a while, so I really had to tap-dance to keep talking.
      When his attention swung back my way, I would end the speech with, "...and the firemen had left by then. But what was I supposed to do with all those elephants?"
      I would walk away before he could ask any follow-up questions.

    • @EazyMurphy
      @EazyMurphy Před 3 lety +47

      Every time thats why i avoid people to avoid wasting my energy on surface lvl conversations.

    • @user-sz8eu7ly8v
      @user-sz8eu7ly8v Před 3 lety +20

      When people are complimenting me, I usually just ignore it because I know they are lying or didn't mean it or just making small talk. And ended it with, "Are your eyes okay?" Haha

    • @shazia7586
      @shazia7586 Před 3 lety +3

      This happens to me always..ALWAYS😑

    • @anamikaojha2645
      @anamikaojha2645 Před 3 lety +4

      Exactly always happen with me 😔

  • @tamaragarrett3625
    @tamaragarrett3625 Před 3 lety +1055

    I don’t like it when people tell me what to do.

    • @RachelPun
      @RachelPun Před 3 lety +106

      Especially if they don't explain the rationale or, worse, say "just do it, there's no why"

    • @kittyquiqui
      @kittyquiqui Před 3 lety +79

      Yeah, it kinda makes me want to do the opposite of what they're saying.. don't really care if it pisses them off

    • @jlady7gbr259
      @jlady7gbr259 Před 3 lety +26

      My husband tries to tell me how to do stuff ALL THE TIME now. Like I've never used the washing machine before... I only taught him how... but OK go ahead & tell me how to do it your way. Yep. I put the soap in & turned it on. I'm not stupid. Then proceeds to tell me how to do the next thing...
      People want to know how I'm so patient. Well, I'm not after I walk away. I'm furious & just internalize it.

    • @marshapple
      @marshapple Před 3 lety +4

      Yes...that doesn't work with me either.

    • @donnailich9138
      @donnailich9138 Před 3 lety +3

      Nobody does. X

  • @enfieldjohn101
    @enfieldjohn101 Před rokem +7

    As an IxxJ, I totally relate to a lot of this. I love how you go past the 'Don't hurt a _____ person's feelings' kind of video and give advice on how to get over being upset by these things. It's a very informative video while still being entertaining. Very good.

  • @sarahlanctot
    @sarahlanctot Před rokem +1

    I’m an INFJ, and I’m so thankful for your video. I’ve never seen something so accurately define who I am and why. Wow, what a blessing to know I’m not alone and reading everyone’s comments too is so encouraging.

  • @slygurl9440
    @slygurl9440 Před 3 lety +585

    In Zoom Meeting: We can't see your face, is your camera on? Turn your camera on.
    Me: sorry, I can't. I have tape over it.

    • @simonasstankaitis2509
      @simonasstankaitis2509 Před 3 lety +16

      I'm ENFP but yeah tape gives me safety

    • @bughunterbughunter7953
      @bughunterbughunter7953 Před 3 lety +18

      Omg.....I did that to my phone..... Can't believe I can relate.

    • @qu0thraven
      @qu0thraven Před 3 lety +11

      Ha ha ha. I have that and the microphone shut down hard on a couple levels in the OS and software and also with the physical tape covering. During stay-at-home orders, I actually wanted to vid. chat with a friend and it took me like half an hour to find all the places I needed to turn them on again and then also had to restart the computer to get it to work. XD

    • @Koshrocreations
      @Koshrocreations Před 3 lety +4

      This gives me strongly INFP energy.

    • @eastonridge5475
      @eastonridge5475 Před 3 lety +14

      Ugh. So true. I totally gave VP in my company a pretty cold, hardline resistance when he asked me to Zoom with him -just the Two Of Us! I seriously said, “oh, I just assumed with call each other. I fee that would be much more productive and save us both some valuable time.”
      He was like ...uh, yeah, sure. Ok.
      #WIN.

  • @molliethomas2585
    @molliethomas2585 Před 3 lety +526

    "We need to talk."
    I hear that and instantly try to come up with the worst possible reason why that was said.

    • @amasterofone
      @amasterofone Před 3 lety +23

      Nope, that's a whole lot of nope. Especially if the talking is not going to happen right f*cking now.

    • @kristinamitchell5274
      @kristinamitchell5274 Před 3 lety +25

      Or “I have something to tell you” that’s another one that will trigger every worst scenario possible

    • @christa7773
      @christa7773 Před 3 lety +4

      OMG YES

    • @slygurl9440
      @slygurl9440 Před 3 lety +3

      Yes! I was going to write this one too but distracted myself, haha! I feel like I was summoned to the principal's office and do as you do, think of all the worst case scenarios.

    • @lafierose
      @lafierose Před 3 lety +13

      Exactly! My boss emailed me one time with "We need to have a meeting." Absolutely nothing else. Just gave me the time. I immediately go through all the scenarios and I land on: "I'm getting fired." Goes to meeting, boss says, "I just wanted to thank you (and explains why)" I, then think, why didn't you say that in the email.

  • @donnaanderson2846
    @donnaanderson2846 Před 8 měsíci +5

    I’m always clear with people, that if “they don’t know who I really am”, it’s because they haven’t invested in listening to what I’ve been saying about myself, over the experiences we’ve had together.

  • @misssalamandeer9649
    @misssalamandeer9649 Před 2 lety +5

    The last one is something I've been told many times before to the point where it was overwhelming, so now I try to be more "chill", not to let people get under my skin by making me feel ashamed. This video actually made me realize it, so thank you lol

  • @mazmck4
    @mazmck4 Před 3 lety +404

    As an INFJ I hate when people say:
    'let's have a chat...'
    me 'sure!'
    Inside: OOFT Somethingbadiscoming somethingbadiscoming heckheckheckheck they hate me I said something that offended them, I am going to get fired, someone is dying.

    • @jamiethurman9051
      @jamiethurman9051 Před 3 lety +13

      YES YES YES!!!! Or “Give me a call, I have something to tell you.”

    • @israeljuarez1800
      @israeljuarez1800 Před 3 lety +2

      I hate that, why don't people just send a really short text or short email? My exwife used to send me this massive emails that I'd just reply " I didn't read it but can you make it shorter and to the point please?"

    • @kohanaafuola6511
      @kohanaafuola6511 Před 3 lety +3

      Yesss like, " I have to talk to you."
      Me: " Uh oh, what now?"

    • @elisa4620
      @elisa4620 Před 3 lety +1

      Oh yes. I felt that.

    • @arianaeilish6169
      @arianaeilish6169 Před 3 lety

      Ya, I can relate

  • @turningoutthelights5645
    @turningoutthelights5645 Před 3 lety +734

    Does anyone feel like they’re going through an existential crisis all the time?

  • @kyriahowey3322
    @kyriahowey3322 Před 2 lety +5

    Intj here. I keep having little fits over where I line up with these embarrassing revelations. Soooo uncomfortable. Good thing I developed the ability to laugh at myself. Keep up the thought provoking videos. Loving you right now ❤❤❤

  • @advocate681
    @advocate681 Před 7 měsíci +5

    I have to say that the time I worked with law enforcement and prosecutors allowed me to learn how to explain my reasoning. Often I would "know" and then have to walk it back and create the explanation and justification. Over many years I now can do without a lot of stress.😊

  • @gloriana7777
    @gloriana7777 Před 3 lety +396

    Me: thinks I've done something spontaneous
    also me: *realizes that it was part of my 10 year plan*

    • @oberrous1813
      @oberrous1813 Před 3 lety +2

      HahahahahHAHAHAHHAHA

    • @oberrous1813
      @oberrous1813 Před 3 lety

      Me when I moved overseas, people thought I was out of my mind, I as well. a year later ive come to the realisqtion I've planned this since tenth grade 🤡🤡

    • @monikam.9953
      @monikam.9953 Před 3 lety +2

      😂😂😂 so true!

    • @ccsworldaustralia4332
      @ccsworldaustralia4332 Před 3 lety

      hate spontaneous...love routine

    • @nimisha6584
      @nimisha6584 Před 3 lety

      What a lovely episode of exposing us on our own

  • @shiinomiya3057
    @shiinomiya3057 Před 3 lety +669

    For me, the worst is being told "Stop overreacting" or "Stop being so sensitive" it really triggers my fight or flight lol

    • @grace_ly
      @grace_ly Před 3 lety +11

      yeah like it hurts so bad! we just feel so much that those statements make us feel like absolutely nothing 😔

    • @koral4684
      @koral4684 Před 3 lety +4

      It does, because it’s literally going to be in my mind for a long time.

    • @catmagicktarot6808
      @catmagicktarot6808 Před 3 lety +4

      Oh Em Gee! Yes! Those two statements sum up my childhood! Totally misunderstood by my family.

    • @emmaf.e.8248
      @emmaf.e.8248 Před 3 lety +2

      Me too.

    • @gayce6662
      @gayce6662 Před 2 lety +1

      Yeah, my Mom told me that when I was a small child, so I now don’t show emotions.

  • @KLemonLime
    @KLemonLime Před rokem +3

    This is too true for me
    When you said "don't sweat the small stuff!" I genuinely felt a shiver run through my back, and when you said "you should be ashamed." I wanted to cry, it was crazy

  • @phiaby5524
    @phiaby5524 Před 2 lety +17

    As an INFJ, the second one is really accurate, and this statement is because of my own experience. So when my Dad's new girlfriend decided to move in to our house, they began discussing about my future, specifically, my debut. His girlfriend told me that I should be practical and "perahin na lang" which means that I should choose money over experience. I didn't disagree, but I, without a doubt, didn't also agree. So I was disappointed when my father agreed to what she just said, but I can't blame them, they never really understood me, maybe they did, but they really didn't. I am so sure that I won't take their advice and just be practical, because a debut is a once in a lifetime experience, I can't let "being practical" take it away from me. It's been on my head for a couple of months, and an idea popped into my mind. I thought that if I earn the money that I will be using in my debut, I will not be worried about my debut from getting cancelled, my money, my plan.

  • @chaedoolies
    @chaedoolies Před 3 lety +485

    *Why do you think that’s a good idea?*
    Infj brain: *loading... please wait...*

    • @geensjc
      @geensjc Před 3 lety +11

      HAHAHAHAHA 100% RELATABLE

    • @that1randompotato576
      @that1randompotato576 Před 3 lety +26

      And if its a situation where someone (ex. Your teacher)is staring at you for so long: Infj.brain.exe has stopped working.

    • @raininess
      @raininess Před 3 lety +14

      Takes me long enough to decide in the first place, this only makes me question the entire thought process that led to the decision...

    • @that1randompotato576
      @that1randompotato576 Před 3 lety +1

      @@raininess right

    • @calipupcorn3886
      @calipupcorn3886 Před 3 lety

      haha i do that

  • @BlakChloVer
    @BlakChloVer Před 3 lety +598

    Personally, I detest it when someone says “Oh, I don’t remember saying that.” What! Am I making it up? Nah. I listened to everything you told me because I care but you data dumped pertinent details of our conversation? Gah! 🙄

    • @planetcaravan4040
      @planetcaravan4040 Před 3 lety +18

      Same. I hate it 😤

    • @beccaswoorld
      @beccaswoorld Před 3 lety +12

      Yup that's my husband xD And honestly me as an Enfp I forget a LOT what I exactly said so that's a common fight lol

    • @franm47
      @franm47 Před 3 lety +2

      @Jessica T. that's more of an Si thing actually

    • @mistressofstones
      @mistressofstones Před 3 lety +12

      I feel like my husband has no memory at all. I discuss previous conversations with him and he never remembers anything he has said before or what he was thinking at the time. But he is istp so I'm not sure if that is the reason why.

    • @planetcaravan4040
      @planetcaravan4040 Před 3 lety +4

      @@mistressofstones I think that the istp don't know how to interact emotionally with others because Fe is their inferior function. The INFJs are practically the opposite of them.
      INFJ: Ni dom, Fe aux, Ti tertiary function, Se inferior.
      ISTP: Ti dom, Se aux, Ni tertiary function, Fe inferior.
      My brother is an ISTP and I am an INFJ. We do not see the world with the same eyes.

  • @LauraForest
    @LauraForest Před rokem +3

    INFJ married to an INFJ here, amazed at what a spectrum this type can be. Thank you, Frank for all you share on your channel.

  • @seviregis7441
    @seviregis7441 Před rokem +14

    A lot of variation within the INFJ community. As none of those things bother me, being very self aware, empathic, analytical, and intuitive usually leads me through all those moments. And I often “play it by ear”, “wing it” and “go with the flow” because intuition leads me along while the analytical part keeps me grounded in facts and practical. We’re all different, even if we’re INFJs.

    • @faithworks217
      @faithworks217 Před rokem +3

      I've wondered if I am J in INFJ because I am not offended by someone "playing it by ear." My ex used to say that quite a lot and I loved it when he would tell me that I had 15 minutes to pack, then take me on a trip without telling me where we were going. That was fun! But then I thought about how I did office work, and always set up a spreadsheet with tasks listed, what date they had to be performed, and what date they were completed. Retired now, but I still love my spreadsheets for keeping track of finances and other stuff. No, I am definitely a J, though I can be spontaneous and don't have to know everything in advance, if it involves fun.

    • @hamcrazy96
      @hamcrazy96 Před rokem

      Sometimes I gotta sit back and remind myself other people don’t think like I do in moments of impatience

  • @LupTeles
    @LupTeles Před 3 lety +977

    I love how I’m an introvert and after I get close to someone I just can’t stop talking. Then when I say that I’m an introvert they don’t believe me 🤭🤦‍♀️

    • @the144ooothdarklight
      @the144ooothdarklight Před 3 lety +10

      lol. spot on.

    • @arcticvoid518
      @arcticvoid518 Před 3 lety +61

      Same, I love talking to people but it makes me so tired, so when I tell them I’m an introvert they’re like “No you’re not”

    • @ladyhope2764
      @ladyhope2764 Před 3 lety +2

      @@arcticvoid518 same

    • @mateas7284
      @mateas7284 Před 3 lety +17

      I noticed that I always have similar story that I tell people when I get close to someone. And when I see their reaction on that, then I know what can I talk or not talk with them. But yeah, I always end up talking too much and nobody believes me that I'm an introvert.😅

    • @JM-jn6li
      @JM-jn6li Před 3 lety

      🤭 yes

  • @juliaswierczynska3264
    @juliaswierczynska3264 Před 3 lety +601

    I would say that another thing that wounds me deeply is: “You’re slacking off. You’re not trying hard enough.”, when actually I’m on my last legs and try to move mountains.

    • @Serenity113
      @Serenity113 Před 3 lety +36

      I fucking hate that. Its like, " Do you NOT SEE? wtf?" Like, what do I have to do to make you see that I am trying? Bleed from eyes? lol

    • @MaryGarciapapagena
      @MaryGarciapapagena Před 3 lety +4

      I feel you...

    • @fanime1
      @fanime1 Před 3 lety +3

      Me rn

    • @kwarfkesh11
      @kwarfkesh11 Před 3 lety +6

      Definitely! Almost as bad as saying, “I don’t feel like you’re putting your heart into it.”

    • @chrisbova9686
      @chrisbova9686 Před 3 lety

      That is just a sociopath, trying to work you harder. Call them out on it, sociopaths melt when you explain to them that they don't have the capacity to empathize.

  • @maiu17
    @maiu17 Před 2 lety +1

    This is great! You described really accurately the way I feel sometimes and I wasn’t able to put it into words.

  • @relyndelacruz333
    @relyndelacruz333 Před rokem +5

    As an INFJ, I really need to stop saying things to myself like "I ought to be ashamed," or "I don't really know who I am." I'm always criticizing myself, and this video just made me realize why I have low self-esteem, and also taught me to be more kind to myself.

  • @LittleKittyCat
    @LittleKittyCat Před 3 lety +653

    I hate it whenever people ask me why I'm shy. I just don't like to make meaningless conversation..

    • @karri17
      @karri17 Před 3 lety +15

      Can I steal this

    • @kitsune1946
      @kitsune1946 Před 2 lety +17

      Its like asking why is you hair brown

    • @LittleKittyCat
      @LittleKittyCat Před 2 lety +3

      @@kitsune1946 Right.

    • @noname__7
      @noname__7 Před 2 lety

      @@kitsune1946 😂

    • @nine3430
      @nine3430 Před 2 lety

      That's why I looked like a trash in front of you

  • @nevermindneven
    @nevermindneven Před 3 lety +743

    Me, slowly understanding what it means to be INFJ: oh that kinda explains why I'm NEVER missing out on reading comment sections and I'm always majorly disappointed when comments are turned off..

  • @CrackCard
    @CrackCard Před rokem +1

    thank you Frank, I can understand myself better thanks to you, and I feel so relieved that you are an INFJ too, and you describe your feelings so detailed and it makes me feel kind of more relevant...

  • @8888-9
    @8888-9 Před rokem +5

    My daughter is an INTJ!!!!
    And has been telling me since she was 14 months old how to do something!!!!
    I fought her for decades.
    And now I am in my 60’s finally genuinely learning how to be less sensitive more open and realistic!
    We now get on!
    So what my weak points are ( need a Week to write that out), main one is awareness of what frequent criticism’s do to my energy!
    We expend much on those in our Focus. When not appreciated it zaps desire to go on doing that.
    Lack consistency ( over long haul).
    What never to say to INFJ
    Just talk none stop and tell you to re-frame the 10 words you said in 2 hours.
    Tell you,
    “ your’e full of self pity .! I have no time for that”
    Never tell us you are a friend when really you are an acquaintance who cant be bothered getting to know us-

    • @lapacker
      @lapacker Před rokem +2

      I have the opposite problem as yours - I'm INTJ and my husband is INFJ. We've been together over 30 years. For most of those years I tried to tell him how to do things "the right way" or question his way of doing things. Naturally he didn't take that very well. I still feel uncomfortable when he does certain things a certain way but I (mostly) keep it to myself. I remind myself that he's the finest person I know and to just let it go. One habit we have had for all the years we've been together is this: before bed we thank each other for the things we've done during the day, tell each other we love them, and tell each other to sleep well. We will never end our day on a negative note.

  • @heatherwillis7000
    @heatherwillis7000 Před 3 lety +546

    Never tell an INFJ that they're "reading into things." We can tell when people are off or their (energy?) is off.

    • @CarissaJenkins
      @CarissaJenkins Před 3 lety +12

      my mom always tells me this... that i'm always "reading too much into things". ugh.

    • @stephaniemoulton
      @stephaniemoulton Před 3 lety +29

      Right. Because that is LITERALLY the way we're wired. It's WHAT WE DO.

    • @heatherwillis7000
      @heatherwillis7000 Před 3 lety +9

      @@stephaniemoulton basically, "Stop Existing" 🙂🙃

    • @MrAwesome096
      @MrAwesome096 Před 3 lety +1

      Nah you might just be crazy

    • @lillyputin4147
      @lillyputin4147 Před 3 lety +1

      That's a great way to start WWIII with me.

  • @monikam.9953
    @monikam.9953 Před 3 lety +384

    You should never say to an infj “you owe me something”. They live their life not just trying to be fair, but extremely generous to other people. When someone then has the nerve to say we owe them something, it literally sounds like an insult.

    • @dinkin_flicka14
      @dinkin_flicka14 Před 3 lety +15

      Spot on!

    • @ILovePlayingZeldaGamesOnSwitch
      @ILovePlayingZeldaGamesOnSwitch Před 3 lety +3

      In my 33yrs of existence, nobody said this to me yet

    • @user-ii3vn8tn3q
      @user-ii3vn8tn3q Před 3 lety +1

      That’ll put the brakes on.

    • @nourmuhsen
      @nourmuhsen Před 3 lety +2

      That's 100% right.😂😂😂

    • @nourmuhsen
      @nourmuhsen Před 3 lety +1

      @@ILovePlayingZeldaGamesOnSwitch You must be surrounded by some really humble people. I heard it a lot in my 18 years of life.😂😂😂

  • @Maryam-cd1bq
    @Maryam-cd1bq Před 5 měsíci +1

    I was frustrated with why I do things differently and your video helped me understand myself a bit, thank you so much!

  • @rockfordsolids5353
    @rockfordsolids5353 Před 11 měsíci

    Could not have talked about the "shame" issue better than you did. Thank you for that.

  • @FamilieVideos86
    @FamilieVideos86 Před 3 lety +591

    Do any infjs get hit with "you don't talk alot", or you finally open up to someone and some idiot nearby says "hey you're talking"? I hate it because it always feels condescending. So I now say "yeah I like to do alot of thinking inside my head. You should try it."

    • @cowsonzambonis6
      @cowsonzambonis6 Před 3 lety +24

      Thank you for saying this- I feel so validated! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 I got this sooooo much in school, and never knew how to take it.

    • @PraiseCheesus88
      @PraiseCheesus88 Před 3 lety +10

      They say I never talk, but when I release the demons I keep from everyone else they complain about how much I spoke. You asked for it, and then you pull that card. Cmon

    • @user-gw9gu7yy5j
      @user-gw9gu7yy5j Před 3 lety +4

      the people im with always gossip behind my back on how i look like a snob and talk bad things about me. one even started saying i have no friends and that was because i was mean and anti-social

    • @apasihbri6130
      @apasihbri6130 Před 3 lety +6

      Yeah...i really hate those responses when I'm trying to open up. Like yeah i keep quiet most of the time, but i always talking in my head. And when someone did that i feel so offended lol, then goodbye im not gonna talking to you anymore.

    • @VictorianMetalGirl
      @VictorianMetalGirl Před 3 lety +2

      Yes! I relate to that so much!

  • @Fangirl_dd
    @Fangirl_dd Před 3 lety +612

    Why do i see so many people that understand me here and i just feel slightly happier but also kind of sad because I've never meet anyone that understood me like this in real life

    • @biniamdaniel5815
      @biniamdaniel5815 Před 3 lety +35

      Same! Just know that you are not alone. We are all here on the other side of the mountain.

    • @mariposa9506
      @mariposa9506 Před 3 lety +65

      Probably because if you met us in real life we would not want to talk about it out loud and would probably all avoid each other due to the possible threat of small talk.

    • @xyxxyz2735
      @xyxxyz2735 Před 3 lety +3

      Saaammeee

    • @debu4307
      @debu4307 Před 3 lety +3

      Samee :(

    • @xyxxyz2735
      @xyxxyz2735 Před 3 lety +8

      @@mariposa9506 hahahah that is funny and sad at the same time

  • @alfonsothesecond
    @alfonsothesecond Před rokem

    Thank you!! I have learned the "whys" of my personality by watching your videos but man this one is so spot on!!!🤜🏽💥🤛🏻

  • @stephanielin1573
    @stephanielin1573 Před 5 měsíci +1

    Totally agree as an infj person I am frequently doubting myself and the critical thinking is also very harsh on myself too. Very interesting self discovery and thank you.

  • @Msking-dm7cy
    @Msking-dm7cy Před 3 lety +851

    Im INFJ AND CAN'T STAND WHEN PEOPLE TALK IN CIRCLES GET TO THE POINT IM HERE TO LEARN SOMETHING ! TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE😥

    • @lenatrofimov7605
      @lenatrofimov7605 Před 3 lety +8

      Yes! Yes! Yes!

    • @danielleneville3725
      @danielleneville3725 Před 3 lety +70

      Yeah. It pisses me off when people take half an hour to present information that I could have read in a couple minutes. Like videos that are a list of things, dude just give me the list.

    • @itsaperfectionist4158
      @itsaperfectionist4158 Před 3 lety +20

      *me in my head* HURRY UP WERE ALL GONNA DIE

    • @cameronmacdonald772
      @cameronmacdonald772 Před 3 lety +1

      @@danielleneville3725 It took me 13 minutes just to get through this list! I get it. Next point please... lol

    • @alehernandez2545
      @alehernandez2545 Před 3 lety

      Damn. My mom is INFJ and my father and I are INTPs, you can imagine how terrible discussions go in our house.

  • @PearlPaisley
    @PearlPaisley Před 3 lety +589

    This happened irl:
    -Tell me what you really think, just say it!
    I tell them.
    -How can you think like that? It's wrong!
    Me: shutting up forever.

    • @bamkuhen-
      @bamkuhen- Před 3 lety +13

      lol, thats what happened to me last week.

    • @kewlenjo219
      @kewlenjo219 Před 3 lety +17

      OMG so true. I have a polite mask for co-workers and so when they want to be friends I panic...they don't know at home I am serious and quiet and not the forced extroverted happy person from work. So who do they really want to be friends with? If they only knew what I really thought most of the time, would they still want to be friends? And I can't stand how often people tell me that I am over-thinking or over-analyzing, sighs.But if I ever open up and they don' get me...I never open up again...usually I ghost them over time.

    • @KB-wk9bv
      @KB-wk9bv Před 3 lety +4

      Just remind them that they asked, and if they’re bothered that’s their prerogative. Then, remind yourself their problems are not your problems. You’re not obligated.

    • @nicoletrujillo2087
      @nicoletrujillo2087 Před 3 lety +3

      My friend did this to me. We’re no longer friends🙂

    • @newgenerationanpanman7870
      @newgenerationanpanman7870 Před 3 lety +6

      My mind: Congratulations! Now you know whom to avoid the next time.

  • @ri3845
    @ri3845 Před 2 lety +1

    These were all spot on for me.
    Also hate hearing "are you always this deep" or "this much" 🙄 especially after as much as it took to share what I'm really thinking.

  • @its-me-jb
    @its-me-jb Před měsícem +1

    I was smiling the whole video. So true ☺️ About the small stuff: I have a special list for details I need to remember and do something with 'later'. Helps me to stick to the plan..

  • @mikayla743
    @mikayla743 Před 3 lety +515

    As an INFJ-T I absolutely hate when someone tells be I’m lazy or I’m being lazy. It has to do with not liking being told what to do but I don’t like when people assume I haven’t been working on things I’m just in my head figuring things out. Calm down.

    • @sandrasonny4244
      @sandrasonny4244 Před 3 lety +21

      YES!! I'm an INFJ-T also and I absolutely hate that too.

    • @esmam6007
      @esmam6007 Před 3 lety +7

      Feel u

    • @ease_y
      @ease_y Před 3 lety +6

      Same, I feel your pain

    • @Yun_er
      @Yun_er Před 3 lety +17

      This is accurate, I like to figure things out in my head 1st, process them and then choose the best solution.

    • @jade2708
      @jade2708 Před 3 lety +7

      Oh mah gwad me too!! It pisses me off! I like doing things on my own time its done better that way. If I don't feel like it, I WON'T do it.

  • @taetaechimchim930
    @taetaechimchim930 Před 3 lety +518

    1. "why arent you talking?"
    2. "why are you so quiet??"
    3. "why are you taking so looong???"
    4. "tell us who you are to the whole class,"
    5. "I know who you are,"
    6. "you're really random"
    7. "whatever I dont care "
    well there a whole list but this is only a fragment 😅

    • @edlinnaurah
      @edlinnaurah Před 3 lety +27

      my personal favourite from your list is ''you're really random'' because as an infj when im in a group chatting certain topic i sometimes would already think far far ahead from what theyre talking rn and when i'm speaking out about it they would go ''you're really random'' not like it hurts everytime but yea when its something youre excited about it will hurt

    • @rse4240
      @rse4240 Před 3 lety +11

      "why are you angry?"
      I'm not mad!I just have no reason to smile all the time!why do i need to have a smile on my face all the time?

    • @hehe89733
      @hehe89733 Před 3 lety +9

      The 5th one really hit different cause i just wanna say like no jenna you do not know me at all you only know what i show you so get down of that cloud and look at the facts, that you actually know nothing about me.

    • @Ziscasworld
      @Ziscasworld Před 3 lety +3

      If someone i like and trust and i've opened up a lot says: "I know who you are" or "i feel you" i really like it. In this Moment i don't need to feel lonely.
      If someone says that while an argument and tells me the stuff he/she thinks are my bad and selfish motivations (but is totally wrong)... i get really pissed of.

    • @hehe89733
      @hehe89733 Před 3 lety +1

      @@Ziscasworld honestly even with friends i dont like it when they say they know me, because if they actually did they wouldnt hurt me with their actions

  • @DarkShadowTide
    @DarkShadowTide Před 2 lety

    I feel called out 😂😂 But for real tho, everything is spot on to what I think almost daily and how I handle my own struggles. Great job and keep up the amazing work.