The Neglected Spouse (3 Reasons) | Why I'm Feeling Neglected In Marriage | Dr. Doug Weiss
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- čas přidán 31. 07. 2024
- Call 719-278-3708 to talk to someone to help you heal from being married & alone. You can join either our women’s Married & Alone group at / marriedandalone or our men’s Married & Alone group at / supportgroupsaia
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Millions of men and women feel neglected and unwanted at home. Their spouses, who promised to love and cherish them, feel more like roommates. They wonder why there is distance in the relationship and are tired of the coldness and rejection.
If you're the partner of an Intimacy Anorexic®, we call that married and alone. You can check out the series of books Dr. Weiss has written on that subject here:
www.drdougweiss.com/product/m...
Visit intimacyanorexia.com/ for more information.
To get the book or DVD "Intimacy Anorexia", go to:
www.drdougweiss.com/product/i...
www.drdougweiss.com/product/i...
Sexless and Married: www.drdougweiss.com/product/s...
Dr. Doug Weiss has been helping couples deal with relationship issues for over 30 years. In this video, he details a few most common reasons this situation occurs.
Most often it's due to Intimacy Anorexia, the act of withholding emotional, spiritual, and sexual intimacy from your spouse. There is a list that reveal this disconnect ranging from the spouse being too busy or always being critical.
Other possible reasons include Depression (feeling worthless and not able functional well on any level) or even Schizoid Personality Disorder (a condition in which a person avoids social interactions and events, not desiring close relationships, preferring to be alone and are emotionally cold and unattached to others).
If Intimacy Anorexia is the reason why, Dr. Doug Weiss has been working in this in relationships for years and has solutions to help couples deal with this issue.
Also, we have a test you can take to determine if Intimacy Anorexia® is the issue in your marriage. Take the test here:
intimacyanorexia.com/ia-test/
Married & Alone support group for female partners of male Intimacy Anorexics:
/ marriedandalone
Married & Alone support group for male partners of female Intimacy Anorexics:
/ supportgroupsaia
For more information on Intimacy Anorexia, go to:
www.intimacyanorexia.com
Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, Partner Betrayal Trauma ™.
You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, www.drdougweiss.com or on his Facebook / drdougweiss
by phone at 719-278-3708
or through email at heart2heart@xc.org.
If you're in an intimacy anorexic relationship, there is a support group for you.
Here is a support group for women married to intimacy anorexics: facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone
Here is a support group for men married to intimacy anorexics facebook.com/groups/supportgroupSAIA/
I'm in one
Dr. Doug Weiss... Thank you for your response ...I did just complete a Divorce Care program..it was Biblical based...it was very good ...I did call one of your clinics..for phone sessions...as I was so impressed with your knowledge on this type of behaviour...but the cost was too high for me...I live in Canada ...the difference on the dollars is extreme...I’m hoping one day I can find therapy that can understand this behaviour ...as I feel it would healthy just to tell all and release all of the experiences from my mind ...it’s seems at times ..it just turns over and over in my mind sometimes and ... I even dreams of it often...I have my Faith in Jesus as my Lord and Saviour...and that is where I draw my strength from..and as I had said in a previous comment on another video you have ..I was able to leave the marriage 7 months ago... and I ‘m so grateful I had the strength to leave ..and it really was because of finding your videos on this topic ..that help me to see clearly to remove myself from the situation...Thank you..Dr Weiss..you are a Blessing to many...
Is there a support group for men?
@@nellamnaes Yes there is: facebook.com/groups/supportgroupSAIA/
I’m in a divorce Care class at my church. Thank you for your response!!! I will look into the support group that you sent me. We’ll be divorced in a about 2 weeks. Crazy thing is, after we got married I started to get physically sick. After many years I got diagnosed with IC a bladder disease. I haven’t been able to have fruit or spicy foods for over 20 yrs. since he has been gone I’m eating fruit & spicy foods everyday without any pain at all. It’s like I’m totally healed. Thank you so much!!!
The worst feeling in life is daily rejection from the one you love. I preserved all my love for this one husband who no longer even puts down his phone to look at me for 5 minutes a day. I am crying out to God night and day for help!
Sorry to hear about your pain, which is valid. You can check out intimacyanorexia.com to see if this applies to your situation.
If you want, we have a Married & Alone phone and Facebook groups that you can just for support.
www.drdougweiss.com/groups/married-alone-groups/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
Me too you're not alone
Me too 25 years of this bs.
I found that prayer for yourself to heal and for him to get out of deception brings restoration in marriage🌿
This is what im currently dealing with. 12 years of marriage and 3 young children. He knows more about joe rogan and his podcasts and youtube channels then us its depressing. I dont just want sex i want to be qnd feel loved and valued. Not like hey honey at night when hes avoided me and communicating all day. Meanwhile im cleaning our home taking care of kids and everything. Idk what to do
"sometimes you feel like you live with an roommate" spot on....
Same
I feel that way now
Sad but true 💔
That’s how I feel… I’ve even said this exact thing to my wife. It’s painful.
Me as well smh and she doesn't even realize it she doesn't touch me nor show me any Affection. But she definitely shows our kids affection she's always Busy and we live in the same household tired of Explaining my thoughts too her im ready too Mirror her actions back too her i kinda im tho smh give me a back rub or something geesh she tried too give me lazy sex the other night she said im tired you can get a quicky i said nah im good i don't wanna be desired that way of couse she had a attitude that day but who cares you can't get mad about the things you ain't doing foh lol l laugh and walk out the room
It’s not even the sex I crave what I crave is intimacy like feeling loved even a hug would make me feel happy 😪
The cellphone, Instagram and everyone else’s life is the reason most marriages are dying
The cell phone is the death of most marriages
Because of technology and the ability to be able to cheat, temptation is at its worst. But, whether you're a male or female, do not get married to anyone if you know in your heart that you think it's okay to cheat on that person and hurt them to their soul. Anyone addicted to pornography or Facebook or Instagram or ridiculous social media have real problems with their personalities
It's definitely killing mine. There was even one time DURING INTERCOURSE when my wife reached for her phone and asked me if she could play a game until I was finished.
I don't believe this. Everyone has a choice to not participate.
Exactly
Nah, the divorce has always been high. Long before technology.
I feel invisible. Everything seems more interesting than me. Stone walled. Ignored. He won't even talk about it. He thinks this behavior is normal. Anger is really the only emotion he has. I'm dying inside
❤❤❤ I hear you ❤❤❤
We hear you 🙏🏽💖
Exactly how I feel
Same as what I feel
I went through the same thing before my husband left and we got divorced. I feel your pain.
I am a man who left a 16-year marriage due to neglect. It sucks to be lonely in the same bed as someone you're supposed to be close with.
How did she neglect you? Please share
I'm married longer than I want to tell! I've always did what I was supposed to do! But in our first year of marriage 😢 sex was missing & I just continued lonely & depressed! 😢
Now asked for change but it's been 5 yrs// nothing different!
I dkn"t want him to touch or kiss me because I feel nothing there! Hesays he"s sorry that I can't love you as you would like me to! 😢 There' no hope-- no joy & I don't feel like doing much anymore! I just exist!! 😢
I’ve given up. Im trying to save as much money as I can to leave. I can’t take it anymore. I’ve stayed in this relationship honestly because I’m old & afraid to die alone, but I have to get over myself somehow.
Your pain and trauma is real. We have the Married & Alone phone and Facebook group that can give you support. You are not alone in this.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
You’ll always find someone else, better
At the point we are already old and dying alone just being with them.
I'm in the same boat. We've been living in separate rooms for a decade. We have absolutely no relationship or even friendship. It's hard because we have kids and I've been a stay at home mom for 13 years. Nothing to my name. Can't be a hairdresser like I was before I met him because of back issues. I'm 44 years old and don't know how or where to start over. Every time I try to start saving money, something happens and I'm back at square one. I'm taking a class but I know it won't be enough to take care of me and the kids by myself. Just feeling lost and quite defeated honestly
We tried doing Dougs therapy and it worked for two weeks and then like normal it stopped. My husband grew up in a home where his parents did not show love and affection to each other. No kissing no hugs no touching. I’m now putting together the connection after 12 years. It is so draining to keep asking for the simplest things and they promise they will change and then only to be let down again.
If he doesn't want to change, you have to accept this. However, you can focus on your healing from the impact. You might want to watch "Why Do I Stay When It Doesn't Make Sense".
www.drdougweiss.com/product/why-do-i-stay-dvd/
You can also join our Married & Alone Facebook group for support.
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
Same in my marriage. I keep getting my needs from Jesus but learning I’m human. Communicating the same basic needs gets old and lonely.
Do some research on schizoid narcissist!
I think alot of these people have no self, no core.
Mayb In some these cases, another personality disorder is at the core!
I can so relate. My life is just this. I get hope & the pattern lasts 2 to 3 weeks & then it just disappears. I get my hopes up & love that we’re enjoying this nice time. ATM I’m at an all time low. Finding it difficult to find hope or belief in his words. His words I’ve believed in so many times 😢
I don't understand why you married him knowing he had an unloving upbringing?
I’ve been married almost 25 years & after our girls went off to college my life has never been the same & my husband is totally checked out . I miss being held , touched , told I’m pretty , i smell good, I’m loved or wanted . I don’t get communication. Nothing . When / if I’m hurting , telling him everything I’m missing , needing . I get nothing . I feel alone , i feel unloved , i feel like I’m a sex doormat when & if he gets horny . I’m not sure what went wrong and i don’t know if it’s even fixable??? He shows no emotions towards the hurt I’m feeling & the disconnect . I don’t know what I’m supposed to do from here ???? I’m at a loss
You did not cause this. Check out intimacyanorexia.com
You would do good to read or watch "Married & Alone" and start getting healing for the trauma of this neglect.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-book/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-dvd/
We have a Married & Alone phone group and Facebook group that can help give you support. You are not alone in this.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
Please leave him
But what if she did cause it. How were u when the kids were still living at home? When they were kids. Did u put them before him. Ignore him, not put him first? Not accusing just curious bc I'm currently trying to iron it all out. My wife constantly puts our two boys ahead of me and our relationship. We can't ever just have an hour to ourselves. Our boys are young, so I somewhat get it but I can't even sit next to my wife on the couch without our boys crawling all over her and pushing me away. It's so frustrating and she allows it to happen. Her excuse is always oh they're only kids they're only kids. Well I know what happens when they leave and go off to start their own lives. We won't work out bc we won't have anything in common bc she spent over 18 years focused on them more than our relationship. I've brought this up before but nothing I ever say is actually listened to so it just gets shot down. We r a pretty young couple of parents on our early 30s and I just feel so goddamn pissed off bc I can't ever get intimate with my wife. I can't even just lay in bed and talk and laugh and be next to each other. It's gotten to the point where It's so frustrating and my c9mplaints are never listened to and I get angry. I try the whole talking about how I feel shit and that does absolutely nothing so then i just bottle it all up until it boils over. Just food for thought.
@@dougsmith3821 she’s out of order. As Mom, we have a tendency to feel like the kids need us more, especially when they are younger, and May neglect our spouse. Mom and dad should have a meeting that is Not disturbed by kids. Work out a plan that works for the Both of you. For instance kids must be in their room at 7 pm and the rest of the night is Your time. Also, have a date nice once week and get a babysitter.
Why do you have sex with him??
I sometimes wonder how it must feel to be wanted physically. I’m 46 years old, married 25 years and I can’t remember that feeling. I don’t think anything can help me.
I hear you. I’m right there too!
Oh how I know that feeling .52 years old 28 years together
57 yrs old no intimacy for the last 10 coming up to 34yr married..addictions anger ..Is it because of all the porn that’s piped into their lap.
I’ve found other hobbies ..now he says that’s why..my fault...It’s all a nightmare.
@@marshareed1438 I’m 52 and i want out so bad but had a mental set back with another move. Pandemic didn’t help. I feel so stuck and it makes me sicker to live with him again until i figure out were is home since i have no real roots from all of his moving following his career.
@@mlaptekman3077 exactly that’s why they lack of intimacy. It’s been a miserable existence. Tv nonstop
My wife is addicted to her phone and helping out everyone else with their daily problems. On my days off she sleeps in till 1100 and as soon as she gets up she is on the phone for the next several hours. I work hard all week and alot of weekend's but I'm still up early on a day off to enjoy the day. She doesn't work but she is out and about helping others who should be doing it on their own. I said you'll get up early to drive 45 min away to help someone vacuum their house won't get up when I'm home and then proceed to be on your phone for most of the day. Shows me what's most important!
This sounds like Intimacy Anorexia. You can check out so at intimacyanorexia.com
You can also join our men's Facebook group for Married & Alone men:
facebook.com/groups/supportgroupSAIA/
Iam crying already, and i havent even watched the video yet..
I’m so sorry!
Me to im dying right now
I found that prayer for yourself to heal and for him to get out of deception brings restoration in marriage🌿
😢😢😢😢
Why is this so common? Are we designed to be in temporary relationships? Life should be simple and intuitive, not a daily cage match to get what is needed
I agree John. Someone once explained to me that relationships should be easy. At least in the sense of basic things like spending time together or simple conversations or discussing where we're going to go eat. Those types of things should not be a challenge or an argument. I wonder the same thing .Are relationships seasonal? In other words , are people meant to be in our lives only for a season???
No, we are designed to love each other unconditionally but only through God's love. Often one or both of us will mishandle the gift of relationship or marriage & deception enters the home. Prayer will break the power of deception and heal the relationship🌿
Thank you!!!
@@buchansha6780 but that wouldn’t make sense as “FAMILY” is forever and who doe we make families with men and women. When you find one that’s what you bet on to make happen. I don’t know.
I can't even have a conversation with my husband I feel neglected unnoticed. I am the one (wife) who is withdrawn sexually because I'm tired of everytime we get intimate he suddenly thinks every problem goes under the bridge. Until the next issue arises and it all happens again. He does not like to talk about anything or resolve and when I try he just dismisses me or leaves house then comes back and ignore me. It's been like this even therapy hasn't worked. Not sure what else to do. He does not do anything with me doesn't take me to dinner or on dates ignores me at home Valentine's day came and not even a rose. And I do everything for him. 😩🥺
Your pain and trauma is real. I would recommend getting some counseling or joining our Married & Alone phone group or FB group for support.
www.drdougweiss.com/groups/married-alone-groups/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
My dear, I can relate. You are not alone
Your not alone, I been going through this for a couple years now
Me too, Samaira. No conversation other than "how you feeling this morning?", as IF I'm old and infirmed.
No ideas, no suggestions about doing anything together, such as going out for a glass of wine or doing an activity together. He waits for me to plan everything and he's content to simply do nothing...just him and his laptop.
There's no effort. No resemblance of a spark. I'm bored out of my mind. I stopped a few years ago, putting any more effort in our relationship. I'm tired of it all. I now withhold any resemblance of interest or intimacy towards him b/c of his inability to return it. Unless its intercourse, THEN he's happy to return it. Outside of sexual intimacy, he wants nothing more. Sadly, I have no desire to give him that b/c that is all he truly wants from me.
We've had 2 years of therapy with an intuitive and wonderful marriage counselor; even he shakes his head at my husband's profound disconnect and apathy.
So I just tolerate living 'alongside' him b/c there's nothing more.
He waits for me to tell him what to do. I'm tired of being his mommy.
He retired 6 months ago. Things are getting worse.
We've been married for 41 years. I feel like I died years ago.
This is my marriage to. I recently had enough and in walk away spouse syndrome mode. Moved to the camper and said I needed a break. My husband is stepping up, but hopefully if I give him another chance he doesn’t blow it because I’m done and I think he knows it now.
I feel so nauseous and have such tightness in my chest. I’m sure most people come here because they’ve tried everything but that’s the problem right there…doing all the work alone. I’m beyond tired. I pray all the time for God to just take me home.
Thank you so much for making this video. I am in a really bad spot in my marriage. I'm not sure if it can be fixed. I almost cried when you said it wasn't my fault. Thank you for giving me some relief.
Thank you for sharing, Molly. If you're in an intimacy anorexic relationship, there is a support group for you. Here is the link: facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone
It’s not you!!!
A year later, how'd it go?
OMG you have just defined my relationship.
how long you be married?
I have always said I’m married single mother. My husband will drop me faster then a hot rock for work or anyone. We could have a date planned and if a call comes in he drops me without even saying a word. I’m so tired of fighting for attention. I no longer fight for attention.
Oh and my husband is severely addicted to porn.
There is help for you to heal for the Partner Betrayal Trauma. There is no hope for him if he is not wanting help. Men protect what they love. If he is protecting porn he is not ready for recovery. We have phone counseling appointments/groups available, you do an intensive or Cereset, or join our Partner Betrayal Trauma Facebook group.
Feel free to call us at 719-278-3708 or email us heart2heart@xc.org at for more information.
www.drdougweiss.com/groups/
cereset.com/
www.drdougweiss.com/intensives/
facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/
@@marshareed1438 i had my chance last year and got mentally sick and he sold home in Texas and now stuck in florida. I go to therapy with no job and nowhere to call home. So upset every day for last six months.
@@jeanniecannon4612 I’m so sorry Jeannie my heart cries for you!
@@jeanniecannon4612 how old are you?
So I’m guessing that you read my post and you completely relate with me? I cried for 3 yrs straight. I was so afraid!
To get scheduled with a counselor/coach, call Heart to Heart Counseling Center at 719-278-3708.
This was by far the most insightful presentation on my life over the past two decades. I suffered neglected but as a man, felt I was just a softy. I stuck it out until I couldn’t continue on this path. Depression overtook me. I had to have a drink before coming home every evening. Fast forward to now I am divorced and the recovery from that situation has been difficult. I’ve loss my identity. Please direct me to any avenues to recovery.
I will recommend you to a powerful man who heal and restore my marriage and spouse after series of breakdown,he can help you too
We have counselors who specialize in the Partner Betrayal Trauma for men. Your symptoms to this situation are normal. We have Married & Alone phone groups as well as Married & Alone facebook group for men.
www.drdougweiss.com/groups/married-alone-groups/
facebook.com/groups/supportgroupSAIA/
I understand completely! I just got divorced a couple months ago. I’m 55 and my ex & I were married 30 yrs. In a years and 1/2 we only had sex 3 times before marriage. We met in church. I thought he was trying to be a good boy. I was just fine with that. I was so excited to be married so we could feel free to have sex. He had me on his schedule from I do. Once a month. If I asked for more it was much longer. I end up finding out from his ex wife that he did that to her as well and the others before her. I immediately took it inward... I thought that I wasn’t sexy enough. I did everything I could to turn him on. What I find out was he’s into fantasy... He can only be with a woman if he thinks about another woman and even doing that he doesn’t want to bring another person pleasure unless he’s ready Totally self absorbed! I ended up having several nervous breakdowns. I’m much stronger today! I’m so at peace! My self esteem had to be built back up! I finally realized that he was the problem all along. He tried to make me feel like I was the problem. I’m grateful that I came across this video! Take care!
Thank you so much. I finally understand, or have defined, what my wife’s issue is.
This is exactly what my ex did too me and this is exactly why I left her
Good for you Isaiah, you are worth taking care of. Be well my friend.
Thank you for making these videos
They are sooo helpful..It helps to hear about the greater issues
Glad you like them! If you need to talk with one of our counselors, you can call us at 719-278-3708 to get booked.
We also have a Married & Alone Facebook group you can join as well.
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
My husband is, I believe, an Intimacy Anorexic. When you said 'laying in bed with them, you may experience real pain' - I cried. It's so strange to hear this said out loud. Sometimes, I wonder if I will die young because of the severe emotional pain. I feel so guilty trying to address my own needs when I know he experienced significant trauma in his childhood which is likely why he is so cold, distant, and rejecting me in every way. He says this is just who he is, and after 17 years of marriage, I believe him. But we have a child who doesn't deserve divorced parents. And my husband still deserves to be loved, despite his flaws (I have them too). But I'm trapped. I'm lost. There is nothing I can do!
You can start to better understand and heal from the trauma of this. We have a Married & Alone phone group and Facebook group you can connect with and receive support for yourself.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
He has to want to get help for his trauma if he's not trying to fix things he's not worth it and your child needs to see their momma happy.
sorry, do you like to talk and be friends??
like to talk and company
I am married and I feel lonely 😔
I'm sorry for the pain you are dealing with. We have a Married & Alone phone group and Facebook group available to give you support if you're interested.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
@@DrDougWeiss my requests is still pending, check your group more often
Hello
my husband makes me cry 😭 I was tired, I would see him. He was alway with his phone even when he is home. I suspected he had someone else. But I meant a doctor who helped me resolve this problem. 24 hours after the doctor work for me. My husband called me and confessed that he was cheating on me. He begged for forgiveness. I forgive him now we’re living happily together he treatment so good like never before.
i like to be your chat friend, and make you laugh whenever you feel lonely and neglected
I just found your channel, thank you so much, I love my husband but often feel neglected but normally just for a few days at a time, or because he doesn’t seem to listen to me etc, he’s a great guy but it’s always good to listen to your videos :)
I found that prayer for yourself to heal and for him to get out of deception brings restoration in marriage🌿
sorry, do you like to talk and be friends??
Good points Dr., I’m 60 yrs old and I really think the human race is doomed, it doesn’t matter what gender you are there is sooooo many broken people out there it’s a mine field!! I really think the brokenness come mainly from the breakdown of the family. If someone comes from a broken home(fighting, anger, no caring etc) and a “normal” person tries to have a good/healthy relationship with them it’ll be an uphill battle with angst and problems the entire time. We are living in a world of broken people from broken homes and 5:23 loads of issues! I speek from experience, in my early years I dated many people whom couldn’t think or behave in a loving/caring way towards me. The same is true today only there’s more of them, issues upon issues,disfunction all around. These days most people are glued to their devices, and not entering true intimacy w/their partner because of all the distractions currently available to them and they don’t care. Which leave the other person scratching their head as to what the hell is going on, ie-is this my fault? What did I do? Am I an A-hole? What did I do now? All I’m saying is: 1its not you! 2: you are a good person! 3: you’ll be able to do nothing about it! Just know there are a butt-load of screwed up people out there that project their crap into your life! A word of caution all of you out there thinking about marriage, WATCH OUT!! You may be entering “The Dragon”!!!! And you will be sorely disappointed!!! You’d better look for any red flags!! Even tho they maybe small, LOOK FOR THEM!! Then stay the hell away, run like hell!! Good luck out there!!
I just stopped bringing it up, been sleeping separate rooms 17 years now. Been five years since any kind of sexual intimacy. Almost complete lack of affection, but he can give affection to the cats or the dog (and he does this in front of me). Can't bring it up cause all his excuses place blame on me and how he is too stressed. Over the last 17 yrs the reasons change, but every time I did bring it up then I had to listen to an hour or more of him going on and on and on. He is not willing to get help, he doesn't think it's a problem and has no idea how it has affected me.
You are in pain from this and the Partner Betrayal Trauma you have experienced is real (you can check out more at partnerbetrayaltrauma.org). You can get help for yourself. We have a Married & Alone phone group you can join for support. You are not alone in this and you are worthy to be loved.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
His behavior and excuses are exactly the same as a lot of wives of porn addiction. It’s crazy! Mine does this 💯as well! I hope you find healing
It’s sad but my wife gives our dog more affection than she gives me. And I’m not exaggerating. My wife hasn’t so much as given me a kiss in months. But she will kiss, snuggle and hug our dog several times a day.
Maybe feels more accepted by the dog. 🤷♂️ Talk to her about it, calmly, how you notice the dog gets more affection and admit freely that you want affection, too. She can't read your mind. You've got to start there to work as a team to solve the lack of affection. She probably wants to give you affection, but I bet you never talk about it so she doesn't feel like you would welcome that behavior from her. Try talking to her. If you haven't told her you want affection like the dog gets, then that's on you. Don't expect her to know what you want if you don't SAY it.
Thank you for this video. My spouse has ASD and I understand it's not his fault, it's just in his genes...but I am so exhausted trynna understand him, neglecting myself, my feelings, my pride. His focus is his job, studies, ambition and I'm not sure if he still want to include me in his future.
I am depressed, unhappy.
Your pain from this is real. I would recommend counseling to help the two of you in this endeavor.
If you need support, we have a Married & Alone phone group and Facebook group you can join for support.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
When we were first dating (after both of our failed previous marriages), we had an AMAZING physical connection. We got married and even before that happened, things were waning significantly. Nothing helped, communicated my heart out. He admitted to being "lazy" in that department. I was VERY thin and VERY in shape. That was not the issue. 22 years later, maybe Once, twice a year? At best? And it's not good. It's BAD. Why do men forget how to kiss a woman? Why do men forget how to touch a woman? Why are WOMEN always expected to do all of the "right" things in that department, but THEY don't have to? No, I'm not as thin as I once was. He's not a lot of the things he once was. Very controlling. Micromanaging everything I do, say, etc. I work full time. He's retired. Don't suggest therapy, he won't.
Your pain from experiencing this is valid. You can find support with our Married & Alone phone group and Facebook group if you'd like to join.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
I have me jackie have been abused for 34years Of neglect physical emotional verbally i finally left in 2020 I still think about what I went through I’m trying to forget but it’s still in my head I was mistreated sooooo badly I must move forward abuse is real 👆🏽🙌🏾🙏🏽
Good for you! Jesus heals, not religion but a real relationship with God. And time and therapy helps too! God bless you!
I struggle so much feeling guilt about my feelings toward my husband. He provides so much toward our household and is the main breadwinner, I stay at home right now bc of my health. When he comes home, he is always tired, the house is not clean enough to his standards, but it's not even remotely close to a hoarder house like he says, it's mostly the clutter of a house being lived in! He will be affectionate but only to a point, many of our plans have been put on the back burner bc he prioritized house projects which is fine but we rarely get time to do anything together for fun more than to go to the store, so for the majority of my days, I am alone. Probably 75% of the time. Little to no intimacy. But he is such a good provider, stuck with me through my health issues when I know so many would have left. I don't know if I am being irrational or expecting too much.
He is acting like he is superior. He is trying to find fault with you. Screw his standards. Because he's the breadwinner he has all control. I am in the same situation. And, I have mental health problems. I depend on him for absolutely everything. I will not get a dime if I don't have sex with him. And I don't come each time. He has cheated on me before and he has physically abused me before as well. He has also mentally abused me. I am in a similar situation. He knows he's got me by the labia. LOL do not feel guilty. Start ignoring him. And if you do clean do not say hey look look what I did. He'll be like well that's what you should be doing all along. These types of men have a tendency to not think twice about cheating with a younger girl. They figure hey I earned this money and I can do what I want with it. Trust and believe me. It has happened to me and it sucks cuz I still have to stay because I know it's still happening in my gut. I bet when he does house projects he's in a b***** ass mood. I think he is being abusive to you. I don't know what your ailment is. Write me back. I totally understand about the financial thing.
If you want more intimacy, be specific with him like doing a daily routine together (other than just going to the store). You can also negotiate having a cleaner house for a date night so you're both getting a need met.
@@DrDougWeiss sounds like blackmail i will take you out more but you have to clean the house to my specifications lol Did he not help make the house messy?
@@cintiapollock2486 It moreso negotiation. Although marriage counseling would be helpful as well in providing clarity to a happier marriage. The book Intimacy: 100 Day Guide or the DVD Marriage Mondays could prove useful too.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/intimacy-100-day-guide-lasting-relationships/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/marriage-mondays-dvd/
I found that when you pray for yourself to come to the understanding that his not the source of your happiness or joy, the feeling of neglectfulness leaves. Pray also for him to get out of deception, for him to come to the understanding that you and the family need his love. Prayer and using the word of God brings restoration in marriage-Psalm 33:4 (NIV)🌿
I'm here with you, you are trying your best , you need to talk to someone but you came here so you can get all the information become a better person. I'm sorry
Hello friend Do you miss the one you really love and you want him or her back to you I can help you I will recommend you to a powerful love spell caster who helped me get your soulmate back to me permanently and make them fall in love with you again and can't leave with you
Wow insane I learn something new everyday crying listening to this I feel lonely so often no matter how hard I try :(
sorry, do you like to talk and be friends??
At least I know I’m not alone!
I feel like I'm a single mom, im 50 years old and left a relationship to come to a friend's house after she died to breast cancer, to help raise her 2 autistic sons, because their dad was an alcoholic, and on top of that im raising 3 grand daughters, from her daughter, all dad does after work are drink smoke dope and hang in his room, im a strong Christian and have managed to bring Jesus in this home and all believe but him he just hides. Im so stressed out, and im sick dealing with severe rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia please pray for me.
I wish I'd seen this years ago. My former wife neglected our marriage and rejected my attempts to keep it alive in order to enable the narcissistic demands of her mother & father and enable the codependency of her brother. She also expected me to put THEM ahead of our marriage. So much of what you said here described my first marriage. I am out of that marriage now & involved in a much healthier relationship. I just wish I had seen this years ago. Then I would have seen it for what it was and left it a long time ago. Maybe this video will open other people's eyes to the reality that they don't have to suffer indefinitely.
You have described my life to a tee.
First time seeing this channel. Countless Counselors and no one brought this channel up. I thought I was alone. Or the devil made me believe I was alone. It has been 21 years but we are still together. I am believing GOD will heal us and this is a start. Praying for a wonderful testimony of redemption. 😢❤
You are not alone in this. I'm sad to hear what you have experienced regarding this and the feelings that you are struggling with. I would suggest checking out intimacyanorexia.com and see if this is relevant to your situation.
To start getting healing and support for yourself, you can contact Heart To Heart Counseling Center at 719-278-3708, and my team can connect you with a therapist trained in this matter. We offer individual and couples session if he is willing to get help. There's also our intensive program that condenses a lot of counseling over the course of a few days.
You can also join our Married & Alone phone group or Facebook group for support:
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/?_ga=2.87958168.1206802464.1713189593-1670047649.1702073164
I feel lonely and neglected in my 6-year marriage, especially my 1st 3 -4 years of marriage. My husband is lovely, but he is more into community service and helping friends when they need someone. He is lovely enough to keep everybody's word, but he does not understand how it is turning this marriage into a crowd-based relationship. He leaves home to look after other folks' issues, but he can't feel my pain and anger for keeping me alone while I need his presence for a while. His very common reply is, "God gives you blessings when you help others. Since I am not the one who's feeling sick, I would go and attend this and that...etc. You can stay at home and relax." I feel like he is not mine, but he is everybody else's healer and support system. We do have our intimate moments, but it gets boring afterward because of unnecessary activities or events that he has to attend daily basis. My days before marriage was much better but he was always a community server.
Check out intimacyanorexia.com and see if this fits your situation.
If you need support, you can join our Married & Alone phone group or Facebook group. You are not alone in this.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
I honestly say it's sad that so many women are being neglected by there husbands or partners it's sad that people are marrying then they change both parties need to work as a team and try and resolve what ever is going on between them .unfortunately in life some people turn things against there partners which make them.feel neglected or ugly in them.self and they loose there self confidence which is not right .no one should go through this because there husband or partner doesnt want to give time and effort to the relationship. Try and stay strong and positive dont let others get you down for there own wrong
So painful. Thank you for the validation
I'm in that boat, ready to get out of here if I had the money
I do feel neglected but I do not even live with my wife. i am lucky if I see her for a few minutes when we meet for lunch at a restaurant usually once a week.
What if your spouse doesnt want help? Doesnt think anything is wrong? My spouse barely talks to me, no intimacy, no alone time, no vacations unless others come, and when he comes home spends most his time on the phone!!!!!!
If your spouse doesn't want help, that's on them. You can only change you. He believes that you are ok accepting his behavior. The DVD "Unstuck" and "He Needs to Change" could help you.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/unstuck-dvd/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/he-needs-to-change-dr-weiss-dvd/
Also if you'd like, you can join our Married & Alone phone group and Facebook group for support.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
@@DrDougWeiss thanks
One is in deception when they can't see their wrong. I found that prayer for yourself to heal that he is not the source of your happiness/joy and prayer for him to get out of deception (to come to the understanding his love & emotional presence is needed by you and in the home) brings restoration in marriage🌿 You are designed as a wife to safeguard the home & bring him to the truth with prayer (If you are willing to do this work)-Proverbs 14:1. Use the verses that are specific to the issues in the home to bring forgiveness, love, joy, and peace-Psalm 33:4 NIV. Prayer will break the power of deception and bring healing to the marriage🌿
Same here. He spends more time on FB than with me. He says he loves me, but I can barely get a smile from him. He has plenty of smiles for everyone else though. Just tired of pretending everything is okay ... for decades. I can't talk to him about it because he gets defensive or denies everything, and he would never say I'm Sorry. It's easier to just pretend everything is ok.
This is me. I can’t deal any more.
This led to loneliness for 5 years, now we're cohabitating and divorced 20 years later and it's the same, I live in the other side of the house
Listening to this, I wonder which one of us could be who. Is it possible both have a disorder kind of complimenting each other in a very bad way?
It feels so bad when you are with group of people and still alone.
i like to be your chat friend, and make you laugh whenever you feel lonely and neglected
“Alone Together” is a new way husband’s and wives are doing marriage more successfully.
Anyone heard of this new concept?
After discovering your videos it makes more sense to me, I used to think he was just narcissistic. It’s my fault, because I feel so alone and neglected I have become very depressed, and even that gets used against me for not coming near me. This is my last hope for my marriage, which of your books would be the best to buy for working on this part of my marriage?
Probably start with the Married & Alone book/workbook and you can join a phone group and our Married & Alone FB group as well.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-book/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-twelve-step-guide/
www.drdougweiss.com/groups/married-alone-groups/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
@@DrDougWeiss thank you, all the way from South Africa 🇿🇦 here..
God can change things through you! I found that prayer for yourself to heal and for him to get out of deception brings restoration in marriage🌿
Your man sounds narcissistic
@Dee.As.In.Dericka sorry, do you like to talk and be friends??
My husband is always on his cellphone on Last Shelter game. Almost never takes me out. I am always ready for sex when he wants it but when the house is dirty and he doesn't offer to help automatically. Never jumps in to help me.
Mine wont even help clean up after dinner. He wont even carry groceries into the house, just leaves them on the porch. He treats me like his employee. Gives no emotional support, lost my 16 year old dog and I got from him, what do you want to say.... ugh, we are more roommates then being married. He wont do anything with me. Drops me off at the store n waits in truck, even while christmas shopping. We eat dinner n his face is in the phone. If I get sick, I am still expected to cook his dinner, clean, n carry on like normal but he gets sick, the world is going to end. No communication what so ever. I'm sick of it, I'm stuck in this relationship, I am a senior n cant restart. Decided today to just keep to myself, keep myself busy , my extra doing for him stops, not giving any Christmas gifts because I dont get any, no little things like a wawa coffee, candy bar or his favorite asian pears. It all stops tonight. It's a lonely life.
@@denyserhodes6150 sounds similar to a relationship i was in for many years. Sounds like he is a narcissist, he will not change. You have to live your life, for yourself and not him. It was so hard to get out, but I am a survivor and I am so much happier. Good luck and make a decision before it’s too late.
Very similar situation. It's just a one way street for them. And I'm just tired. I imagine being happy again and just wonder if he will ever care about me the way he used to. 😩🙏💔
i like to be your chat friend, and make you laugh whenever you feel lonely and neglected
Thanks for the help.
I'm at my wits end 😢😢
The worst feeling in the world. I have to lay down every night next to this woman I so cherish but I am not allowed to touch her in any way. When she is in the living room and the fasted way to the kitchen is to walk by her, I go around the other way so she doesn’t have to “deal” with me and leave her to be in “her time”… it tortures
You right on how I feel right now
My husband said he always busy. After 5 or 7 days before he reach out me. We were married for 7 years and have 1 dauther. I'm from Philippines and we are in long distance. Any advice. Thank you
Get local counseling or see if he will make a schedule to make time just for you.
long distance is not the best, is he coming to join you? and cut the distance, is not easy for him neither, you whiling to wait for him to come over and is he also waiting for you, there most be trust, show him you also busy and see if he miss you as well, where do you live/work?
Hello I'm new to ur channel.that info.was very helpful to me
Welcome, and I'm glad that you found this information helpful. If you have any questions or interests in getting healing from this situation (if that is the case), you can contact my office at 719-278-3708 where my staff can help provide resources, counseling options, and support groups.
I feel the longer this stonewalling occurs, my WANT and NEEDS are getting less each day. Maybe numbness will soon set in, let's hope.
I feel your sadness… but, don’t lose sight of the truth: your needs are healthy and valid. I’m sorry for your being fulfilled and neglected. It’s so painful!
My wife started her own business in 2008 as a Christian counselor. She's obsessed with it for 10+ years. It's to the point it almost feels like it has replaced me, almost like another man. I find myself alone all the time while she works. She has four locations that she travels to around the state every week. I started working more just for something to fill my empty time but it's not satisfying. It's one thing to be replaced.
I'm sorry that this is occurring. Check out intimacyanorexia.com to see of that applies or if its just overworking. If it is Intimacy Anorexia, we have a Married & Alone Facebook group for men at facebook.com/groups/supportgroupSAIA/
I don’t think that God would want her to neglect you for a relationship with him. In fact, if she’s putting God first & she understands his word she should never want to neglect you... I’m wondering if she really understands God’s word...
One is in deception when they can't see their wrong. I found that prayer for yourself to heal that she is not the source of your happiness/joy and prayer for him to get out of deception (to come to the understanding that her love & emotional presence is needed by you and in the home) brings restoration in marriage🌿 A spouse is designed to safeguard the home & bring the other spouse who is deceived (James 1:14) back to the truth with prayer (If you are willing to do this work). Use the verses that are specific to the issues in the home & marriage to bring forgiveness, love, joy, and peace-Psalm 33:4 NIV. Prayer will break the power of deception and bring healing to the marriage🌿
@@marshareed1438 As usual, you religious lot say that only the woman has to make any effort. Has this man been a good husband, done his share of housework and childcare, respected his wife, listened to her, took her seriously, supported her career, her ambitions and dreams, has he been a considerate lover? MEN need to fulfil their responsibilities, as well as women.
Having trouble with my marraige. He is overtly neglecting in return i am jealous of his lust for other women. I am open to any kind of counsleing but on his part i am the one to blame for all. I know there is an outside opinion not just mine or his. Open to any help
You can get set up with one of our marriage counselors. My office number is 719-278-3708
do you try to make him jealous by dressing attractive and look good in public make other men looking at you and he will notice for sure? im sure other men look at you and compliment
He is a great person at his job....my daughter said he is a totally different person at work....he is funny and talkes to everyone..but iam at home all by myself all day, and when he comes home iam still all by myse,f....OMG...NEVERMIND...
Sad that this is happening to you. You might want to join our Married & Alone Facebook group. The book Married & Alone could be helpful as well finding support outside your marriage.
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-book/
@@DrDougWeiss he dont want to try so why should i..iam all tired out just thinking about.....😫
@@DrDougWeiss i have showed him the program and he apologised to me, BUT, HE KEEPS DOING IT...He would rather hire someone to be with me then do it himself, lol.... No lie, lol......we have done marriage counseling and classes but he would put in the work and effort. He has really bad knees and has to walk with a walker, and is always telling me " when my knees get fixed i wil........" When he was fine he didnt so what makes me think it will change now? He didnt do anything back then and i know it will NEVER HAPPEN NOW, But, all my stuff is here and iam not going anywhere, I tried that before and it didnt work. We were seperated for 2 1/2 yrs, we got back together cuz of the kids and finances........that was over 15yrs ago, nothing is going to change, unfortunately !!!!!!, ever !!!.
@@truenews3763 I’m in same boat. But he wouldn’t go to counseling. Just expects me to be happy like him watching tv all night and weekends.
He’s ok with you being with another man? Wow my now ex told me to act single. We were married for 30 yrs. I’m 55. I feel like I wasted my youth on him!!!
How do I get healing for me, I am in uk housebound I’ll and neglected and alone!
One is in deception when they can't see their wrong. I found that prayer for yourself to heal that he is not the source of your happiness/joy and prayer for him to get out of deception (to come to the understanding that his love & emotional presence is needed by you and in the home) brings restoration in marriage🌿 A spouse is designed to safeguard the home & bring the other spouse who is deceived (James 1:14) back to the truth with prayer (If you are willing to do this work). Use the verses that are specific to the issues in the home & marriage to bring forgiveness, love, joy, and peace-Psalm 33:4 NIV. Prayer will break the power of deception and bring healing to the marriage🌿 Do not nag...use the power of silence...it's your quiet and peaceful spirit in the home but you are fighting in prayer (not silent treatment) Watch CZcams "Lovely Wives of Faith".
My husband of 34 years doesn’t speak to me for 5 weeks and told me he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. I’ve been with him since I was 15 and now I’m 54. What do I do? I’m broken.
If he is telling you this, I would believe him. I'm sorry that you are going through this. You can meet with a counselor, support group, or a pastor locally, or you can contact us for counseling and our groups. No matter what, it is important to take care of yourself and focus on your healing during this. You are worthy to be loved.
You can call us at 719-278-3708
www.drdougweiss.com/groups/
www.drdougweiss.com/facebook-groups/
Do you miss the one you really love and you want him or her back to you I can help you I will recommend you to a powerful love spell caster who helped me get your soulmate back to me permanently and make them fall in love with you again and can't leave with you
That sounds very painful and yes believe him! Like the good doctor said, take care of yourself!
Watch the CZcams videos...Lovely Wives of Faith🌿 I found that using the Word of God in prayer brings restoration.
i like to be your chat friend, and make you laugh whenever you feel lonely and neglected
My question is;
I love my husband but it hurts that he's never been affectionate little less romantic.
Why was he so romantic and affectionate with all exs?
And tells me that he's was scared to lose them. But with me he doesn't feel that way. Just curious.
Sad... Kind of going through the same thing
i like to be your chat friend, and make you luagh whenever you feel lonely amd neglected
My name is Janeth, what if my husband told me he’s miserable and unhappy with me all while I’m begging him to love me . Should I just pull back . He tells me he loves me and wants to be with me . But also stays he’s miserable with me . I’m so confused . I want to make it work but when I express how I want to be treated it’s always a fight and I get ignored and avoided for a day or so. I’m drained . Please help .
Your pain from this is valid. We have a Married & Alone phone group and Facebook group that can give you support. You are not alone in this.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
What do I do after 34 years my husband doesn’t want to be with me. Is it midlife crises. He has been so bold as to telling me to my face and doesn’t talk to me now for 6 weeks.
Hello friend Do you miss the one you really love and you want him or her back to you I can help you I will recommend you to a powerful love spell caster who helped me get my soulmate back to me permanently
I know of a powerfulman who can help you just like he helped me 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Hello friend do you really want your ex back
Hello friend do you really want your ex back hope not lost i pray the universe grant your heart desires with more love and commitment from your ex through the help of a great powerful man
He could have been cheating on you the entire time. This midlife crisis b******* is what it is it's complete BS. He is cruel. 34 years of marriage and he's doing this to you? If you had money Glory I would hire a private investigator. It might hurt if you find out the truth that he's cheating. But at least you would get half of everything. Did you know that non-verbal abuse is a form of abuse that is considered really up there in the abuse department? Do not ever ever ever ever ever ever ever make excuses for a man who acts like this due to a midlife crisis.
My husband says neglect is not a problem and that I’m too sensitive. I’m the sole provider and forced to take on 95%+ of financial and household responsibilities. My husband withholds any and all intimacy. What do I do?
I understand that this is a difficult situation to be in, especially since you are being overwhelmed by the responsibilities and the lack of support and love from your husband. Know that neglect is a severe issue in marriage and your feelings regarding this are valid. If you are doing most of the work and providing the finances, I would address why you are allowing this to continue on in the relationship. You are the one in pain, not him.
It may be beneficial to speak with a counselor or coach who can offer you support and guidance based on what you are currently experiencing. You can contact our office at 719-278-3708 to start your journey of healing with one of our staff or with a support group. You don't have to go through this alone.
You might want to check out intimacyanorexia.com and see if this relates to what you are going through.
Additionally, you might find some valuable insights in the following DVDs, "Unstuck", "Why Do I Stay", "When You Marry a Child, Don't Expect a Man", which address similar issues and provide practical advice:
www.drdougweiss.com/product/unstuck-video-download/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/why-do-i-stay-video-download/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/when-you-marry-a-child-dont-expect-a-man-video-download/
Have a question I have a spouse that doesn't Initiate sex and hasn't for a long time but is a SA and ran to several affair partners can you explain that
Thank you ! :)
A spouse that’s had too many affairs so who wants to get close to that? Plus he is unapproachable and shows no love or anything towards me. Very painful and don’t know what to do to reverse it.
Queen rose can you give me the name of coach Dan and how to contact him?
Thanks!
J Wilson
It's true. There is no way to reverse it. Time doesn't heal therapy doesn't help. It's because a leopard does not change its spots. I can't believe my significant other who has cheated on me so many times wants to be close with me
I’ve become so critical and so angry as a result of this. It was great before we got married but literally from that day onwards he shut down on me. He used to get very angry with me but now I’m driven to the point of anger and now I’m the one in the wrong.
Sorry that you have experienced this. Our Married & Alone support groups are available if you'd like to join them.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
@@DrDougWeiss thank you.
It is sad how so much of love and affection changes dramatically to roommate status. A person who was able to sense your mood years before is unable to support you when you are going through depression. They justify stating they are hardworking for the family. Wife also works but she is ready to show so much love whilst the husband doesn't.
10 yrs of togetherness just for nothing 💔
Pornography addiction literally changes men into zombies. It’s diabolical and an epidemic in marriages. Most of the victims to porn are abused exactly the same way! It’s crazy! I pray you find healing.
My husband and I go months without intimacy. He Talks to people on his phone more than me. He doesn’t see eye to eye with me on things that matter to me a lot like how to discipline our child. And most recently, he started seeing a therapist which was helping our marriage at first. Until I started going to her, and then my mother-in-law who is narcissistic and abusive towards me also started going there. It is not structured family therapy and I’ve tried to tell him that I don’t think it’s right, I’m going to school to be a social worker and have learned things that could prove this to be very unethical. However, of course everything I say makes me crazy. The therapist triangulated into the relationship and is no longer helping my marriage. It’s hurting it. If you were a therapist to decide to take more than one party that directly knows each other or more than two people that directly know each other, The therapist is supposed to evaluate what kind of damage it could do if triangulation occurs. But she didn’t do this and she is seeing each one of us individually. Or she was seeing each one of us individually. I will not go back to her. Him and I have a lot of problems. We argue a lot and have two kids. I’m thinking about separation. But point of my Wanting a separation is so that he realizes how he’s being and comes back to me but what if he doesn’t.
I would ask your professors about this. Separation does not guarantee the result you're looking for so it's a risk.
i like to be your chat friend, and make you laugh whenever you feel lonely and neglected
what if your spouse does not want to seek help to him nothing is wrong and my sadness is turning into a deep depression that is scarring me will it ever bet better or is this all I have left?
@@florencefavour6761 oh I am happy for you hope yours last good luck.
As long as he is unwilling to change, he won't. You would do best to get counseling to heal yourself. The DVD "Unstuck" and "He Needs to Change" could be helpful.
You can also join our Married and Alone phone group and Facebook group for support. You are not alone in this.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/unstuck-dvd/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/he-needs-to-change-dr-weiss-dvd/
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
One is in deception when they can't see their wrong. I found that prayer for yourself to heal that he is not the source of your happiness/joy and prayer for him to get out of deception (to come to the understanding that his love & emotional presence is needed by you and in the home) brings restoration in marriage🌿 A spouse is designed to safeguard the home & bring the other spouse who is deceived (James 1:14) back to the truth with prayer (If you are willing to do this work). Use the verses that are specific to the issues in the home & marriage to bring forgiveness, love, joy, and peace-Psalm 33:4 NIV. Prayer will break the power of deception and bring healing to the marriage🌿 Do not nag...use the power of silence...it's your quiet and peaceful spirit in the home but you are fighting in prayer (not silent treatment) Watch CZcams "Lovely Wives of Faith".
Thank you
You're welcome
So true!
My husband is way older than me but does so much I don’t even know where to begin. He’s demeaning for starters. He will defend and start an argument with me to take up for and defend random women I speak about in conversations. Not men, only the women. If I say anything that sounds negative about another woman, he will automatically take up for her and defend her while berating me and hanging up the phone on me. I’m sick of it. I don’t know where to begin. He is always frowned up and talking harsh to me and my daughter. Me and my husband have a daughter together and I came in the marriage with a daughter from a previous relationship but he’s rough and hard on her. He’s also that way with myself. I’m sick of his 💩 honestly. I’m already dealing with anxiety and having panic attacks and he makes me feel worse.
If you haven't already, spending some time with a counselor for yourself would be good.
The pain and trauma you are dealing with are valid. We have phone and Facebook support groups available if you'd like to join. You are not alone.
www.drdougweiss.com/groups/
www.drdougweiss.com/facebook-groups/
it seams he is not valuating you anymore or take you for granted, how big os age difference? have you try have more friends to talk you, is he jealous, controlling and manipulating type???
Sir, there is no communication, no discussion, no eye to eye contact in my marriage. I ended up spending all my 4 years of marriage cleaning, washing, cooking and becomes hyperactive in those things. I had suicidal thoughts after my first child was born. I lost my job. I stay in this marriage for my kids. Please help me.
Check out intimacyanorexia.com and see if this applies.
The pain and trauma you have experienced from this are real. We have a Married & Alone phone group and Facebook group you can join for support. You are not alone in this and you are worthy to be loved.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
You can also check out our Married & Alone 12 steps series:
czcams.com/play/PLoQAJVqvxAfhoYq-6aM64aOd6N8OAUSPK.html
What’s so bad about neglect?
I am a neglected spouse. I don’t know what else to do. I feel like I should leave at this point. We have 2 small boys that I do not want to put through divorce and I still love my husband but I’m tired of feeling alone. I have tried to talk to him and he either refuses to talk about it and if he does it’s my fault. I don’t know what else to do or if I should even do anything since he doesn’t seem to care.
I'm sad that you are in this pain. As long as he chooses to remain this way, he won't change. We have a Married & Alone phone group and Facebook group you can join for support from those who have been or are in similar situations. You are not alone in this.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
One is in deception when they can't see their wrong. I found that prayer for yourself to heal that he is not the source of your happiness/joy and prayer for him to get out of deception (to come to the understanding that his love & emotional presence is needed by you and in the home) brings restoration in marriage🌿 A spouse is designed to safeguard the home & bring the other spouse who is deceived (James 1:14) back to the truth with prayer (If you are willing to do this work). Use the verses that are specific to the issues in the home & marriage to bring forgiveness, love, joy, and peace-Psalm 33:4 NIV. Prayer will break the power of deception and bring healing to the marriage🌿 Do not nag...use the power of silence...it's your quiet and peaceful spirit in the home but you are fighting in prayer (not silent treatment) Watch CZcams "Lovely Wives of Faith".
sorry, do you like to talk and be friends??
How can I differentiate anorexic relationship from someone who is just dealing “stress” . I feel like a neglected wife :/
Someone under stress genuinely wants to connect and there would not be a pattern of avoiding intimacy.
Thank you. Do you have private sessions
At Heart To Heart Counseling Center, we do regular counseling or specialized counseling (regarding Intimacy Anorexia, Partner Betrayal Trauma, Sex Addiction) for individuals and for couples. You can call our office at 719-278-3708 for more information about scheduling, resources, and to have any of your questions answered.
One of the things I'm having difficulty is my first marriage of 20 years ended up with my husband leaving me for his coworker and an affair that occurred 6 years of our end of marriage then I married a young man 12 years younger than me who just adored me and I thought it was going to be great I had four children that came along and he totally neglected them he wouldn't even speak to them he was very jealous of them and it was complete chaos for years well now he's decided to be a better husband but never addressed any of these issues. Unfortunately the woundedness of that marriage that was betrayed brought along a problem of me trusting. I have trust issues and this second husband I've been with for 18 years but he lacks complete empathy for my trust issues and I know I need a healing and it's very difficult for him when I don't trust but yet I can't figure out why I don't trust I can't figure out why his complete neglect of me emotionally is making me mistrustful I feel like this is all my fault and I don't know how to fix this problem because I can't see the clarity of who is at fault
Hello Gina,
Neglect is the like abuse, you would experience similar symptoms. I would talk to a counselor who can understand, you can call our main office at (719)278-3708. You could also do a trauma intensive with neuromodulation to help you get unstuck.
Unstuck DVD: www.drdougweiss.com/product/unstuck-dvd/
Why? What am I doing wrong? What is wrong with me that he doesn't want me?
Having issues and doing research. 12 years and 3 children and im feeling neglected very bad bc i feel so overwhelmed doing everything.
I'm sorry for the pain that you have had to deal with. You could check out intimacyanorexia.com and see if this applies. We also have a Married & Alone phone group and Facebook group available for support if you'd like to join. You are not alone.
i like to be your chat friend, and make you luagh whenever you feel lonely amd neglected
My name is Matt..and my wife has deprived and neglected me. Is there a support group for men married to women with this disorder?
We have a Facebook support group for men: facebook.com/groups/supportgroupSAIA/
We are also currently starting a Married & Alone phone group. You can call our office at 719-278-3708 to be put on the waiting list for it.
Im really broken. I need help. My husband over 9years has sexually explicitely messaged another woman, been fired for sexual harassment (sending a picture of mens genatalia to a female coworker), watched cam girls and had a pot addiction which has now stopped. He neglected me in favour of pot and i also neglected him. Have you known a similar situation be saved?
If you are both willing to heal, then yes. I have seen much worse. You can do an intensive together or phone counseling. You can call us at 719-278-3708 to get started.
We also have Partners support groups over the phone and on Facebook. You are not alone in this.
www.drdougweiss.com/partner-group/
facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/
I have more than 5. I have tried and tried……. 14 years
I'm way to late to comment on this video and I am not expecting a reply, but just in case someone else is reading this and it resonates with them, I too have been in such a relationship for 32 years... episodes of prolonged silent treatment and the withholding of all affection and civility.. the latest episode has lasted 18 months so far... I've googled my plight and the main answer that comes up is that he is a covert narcissist in all likelihood, this seems to fit well with a lot of his other behaviours ( low empathy, having to walk on eggshells around him for fear of his wrath.. he is so aggressive ( not physically )...do you think this is a more accurate term for this dreadful toxic form of abuse?..
Hello friend Do you miss the one you really love and you want him or her back to you I can help you I will recommend you to a powerful love spell caster who helped me get my soulmate back to me permanently
He is mentally abusing you! This is not right! He has some serious problems that are not yours but unfortunately you’re emotionally suffering because he is sick!!! I’m 55 and I was married for 30 yrs. We just got divorced. I got the house. He was pretty bitter about that. He didn’t care about losing me, but he did care about losing the house. I feel really blessed! I had absolutely no rights to my husband’s body and if I talked to him about neglecting me he would punish me by making me wait longer. He told me right before we filed for divorce that he rules over me. That’s a crazy religion!!! I’m Christian not I’m not religious! Only a religious person could treat another person that way and then pick up their Bible... I’m so sorry you’re suffering!!!
sorry, do you like to talk and be friends??
@@marshareed1438 I wouldn't listen to you, you are a bitter woman.
Wished I could afford your counseling.
We have a free Married & Alone Facebook group
you can join. There's also a Married & Alone phone group and resources that might be within your price range. You can call us at 719-278-3708 or email us at heart2heart@xc.org for more information.
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
www.drdougweiss.com/groups/married-alone-groups/
@@DrDougWeiss Thank you. I just joined. Waiting for reply.
I feel very neglected, my husband works out of town and his job is first over his family and now he wants a divorce saying he’s not in love with me anymore 😞
I'm sorry that you have experienced such neglect in your marriage. It is important that you get healing and support for yourself in the midst of this. You can call Heart To Heart Counseling Center at 719-278-3708 to get scheduled with a counselor and also connect with our Married & Alone Facebook group. You are not alone in this.
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
But I picked guys that were very very neglected and very very horrible to me because I was raised being beat up and missed treated so that Hass to do with why I was so dysfunctional not today though I thank you Lord thank you thank you Jesus
Is there a way to send a question in an email or a more private form?
You can e-mail us at heart2heart@xc.org
Hello, I will recommend your to a powerful prophet who help me through healing and restoration in my marriage and also deliver my husband from strange woman,he can help you too
Whats-app him for help
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I've talked to my wife often about not feeling desired. I feel like I'm starving. Instagram gets more of her than I do. To be fair, I am mindful of her needs but I think it's taken for granted
Your pain from not feeling desired in your relationship is valid. You might want to check intimacyanorexia.com and see if Intimacy Anorexia applies to your situation.
If you haven't already, you could try counseling to help resolve the issues. You can contact us at 719-278-3708 and we can help get you started.
My husband had started sleeping in the garage on the garage floor. I'm pregnant with him first son and it feels like he hates me. He doesn't talk to me or the kids. He said he doesn't want a divorce and won't sign if I file one. Just feels hopeless.
I am sad you are going through this. Check out intimacyanorexia.com to see if this fits. You can also get into a Married & Alone phone group or Facebook group.
I recommend you talk to an attorney to see if your husband needs to sign.
www.drdougweiss.com/groups/married-alone-groups/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
You can technically file and get divorced without him signing. Do some research in your state, but he can contest all he wants you could still divorce him!
Can you not obtain a divorce without his signature where you are? His behaviour is grounds for divorce.
sorry, do you like to talk and be friends??
Help we need your help you just totally sum up our issues
You can call my office at 719-278-3708 or email us at heart2heart@xc.org regarding counseling, resources, or other recommendations.
We also have a Married & Alone phone group and Facebook group you can join for support if you'd like.
www.drdougweiss.com/groups/married-alone-groups/
www.drdougweiss.com/facebook-groups/#womens_married_and_alone_group
I think one reason is simply a matter priorities. I know that I am not high on her priority list.
Some times it’s the man who is fighting for the roommate to then back into the wife
After 18 years my serial cheating husband is angry that I can not be intimate. How can I can communicate that I have 2 decades of conditioning to accept trauma, spousal and in law rejection as normal with the expectation to work out my petty expectations of respect that I am emotionally bankrupt and I have no more to give?
Your trauma and pain from this is real. I would start getting counseling on these issues to better communicate and to start resolving these issues.