The 16 Types - Extraverted Feeling (Fe)
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- čas přidán 5. 12. 2020
- #the16types #16personalities #extravertedfeeling
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his accent makes him sound much smarter than what he already is
Big words + British accent = 20 IQ points added
that s an extroverted insult right there xd
@@danmy7824 I think it's more of a compliment that had premarital s3x with a general observation and after 9 months popped out a CZcams comment... but it's 1 year old now
@@lovewho It's the way you say "shedule."
Nathan, you have fantastic eyebrows.
Agreed
They're caterpillars with plenty of personality
His eyebrows have a lot of FE
Legendary eyebrows.
They are growing bigger each time you give them compliments.
(Looks at the possible uses of Fe)
Random Intj: "Is it possible to learn this power?"
Is it?? Asking for a friend
INTJs: At what level should I be to unlock this ability?
LOL!
Not from a Fi user
@@regina8710 It is possible for some Fi users on a fundamental level to understand Fe through shadow functions. However for 3rd slot Fi giving a blind Fe, it would be extra difficult.
But I suppose if you were to study psychoanalysis or other forms of psychology you could learn to pick up body gestures and reactions listed through theoretical studies, as 'Anderbard Portraits' mentioned above as well.
We many not understand on a emotional level be able to fully understand, but in a sense you could learn to read and prepare for specific emotional signs.
I agree with your definition of manipulation. If I "manipulate" clay and turn it into a cereal bowl, that is not bad. Every time someone goes to a therapist they are being "manipulated" as well, even if they are being helped. It basically just means being changed, worked over or molded in some way. That can be both wonderful or downright devastating, depending upon the context and/or situation.
Well said! ~ Nathan
I agree. ive never understood why its so bad, but its okay for the therapist to do it
People have very negative connotations of the word manipulative, most likely because when coupled with personality. But I agree, the word itself has no moral alignment to good or evil and is just an adjective... I suppose it depends more on the person it's describing.
It seems so obvious to me that its a neutral thing, maybe an INTJ thing.😂 Speaking the other person's "language" to facilitate communication is technically manipulation. Every conversation is a manipulation. 🤷🏻♀
Extravert: *Speaks to Intp*
Intp: "Is this optional?"
Haha! This made me laugh ~ Nathan
INTPs can often find themselves feeling like this in some situations where Fe is supposed to be used:
Electricians who have been invited to talk about how sad it is that a bulb is dead, but they can't change it.
Why did I laugh so hard on this 😂😂
Cause the only thing you can do about it is laugh
Because its hilarious.
I spit out my drink....so funny
Definitely true for ISTPs as well haha
@@Laura-YuI guess its true for INTJs as well.
As an ENTP for us its usually ''resetting harmony'' not maintaining it. We poke, probe, joke and create chaos and when it looks like we are getting close to that line, we use Fe to reassure others that anything that might have come as negative or offensive is not true. We restore the harmony we disturbed ourselves in order to create chaos for the purpose of Ne-Ti.
The default defense for unhealthy ENTPs ''well i didnt want to offend you so its your problem that you did''
Point is while sometimes people can be somewhat at a fault too for being hurt, if you are the one causing it, it doesn't really matter,
if you did go too far or they are being a snowflake. Kinda your job to apologize for the former or just be more careful with them for the latter
Which is why developing Fe is very important if you dont wanna be the stereotypical sociopath like ENTP people like to meme about
I am brought up by people with very low Fe and high Fi. Despite that as ENTP I managed to raise my Fe a bit but still not enough to make it work. I constantly am hasitating between keeping the peace and being true to myself. Like - I don't understand why I am seen as harsh with words when I am really trying to just be precise and honest. Those people also won't accept my low Fe since they are mostly S themselves. I am STRUGGLING to keep my closest people happy and honest in the relationships I have. My best friends are IN** with balanced T and Fi. Any tips and tricks how o manage my ENTP mind?
@@LittleBabywriter everybody value consistency. Time teaches you to hold you ground without attacking other people's sensitivity.
Be honest, but only express your opinions on close relationships when required. This made wonders to my close relationships.
They will always expect sincerity from you. The fact that you respected their time and preserved their emotions creates a healthier envioronment for delicate discussions.
You can always be honest without being brutal. I am still training this muscle.
ENTP’s Fe is position 3, that’s pretty high on the function stack 🤔
@@katarineinis9882 that's right, there's a CZcamsr in spanish called Auronplay,I think he's an ENTP. At the start he just offended people with no reason, now, he cares more about other people. I think it's important for all of us to develop our 3th function, but no one talks about it
@@dbnd2240 Well, I can sense and understand other peoples feelings it's just that i don't agree with them being emotional about it. I value solving conflict more than keeping false peace. I feel like I can't win this no matter what I do. I feel like i am being fake when I keep the peace despite having issues worth digging to the bottom of the problem. I really had always problem fitting in despite having many friends. It is possible that I misstyped myself but my overall tendecies are inlined with ENTP. I wasn't allowed really to feel hurt and was really treated poorly as a person who speaks "truth no one wants to hear" so I feel like it is the issue that I brought up from my childhood but I have no idea how to fix it and my relationships suffer from that. There is also that I am very social and it is just constant battlefield with other extroverts, with the sensors, especially feeling sensors. Mostly I learned to just stay on the side and keep quiet but you know. I don't really enjoy it very much. At the beggining I treated it like a social game but after I mastered "the quiet lady" approach I got really bored by it and I don't want do do it anymore.
Strong Fe can be burden as well as blessing. I always felt strong connection with other people's feelings, and honestly it makes me wish that everyone around me would be at ease because otherwise it's drives me mad. (INFJ)
Hence the reason i tend to be in solitude, because when you alone nobody can harm your harmony.
@@nirau EXACTLY
Work on accessing Fi as that will help build a firewall that will at least dampen some of the Fe.
exactly- INFJ
Yeah, as an INFJ i kinda need people to be happy
But I wish that i didnt so so bad
Why can't I just be in my Ni-Ti forever and be satisfied
ISTP at a Fe lightbulb funeral:
Empathy- See people crying across the room. Avoid. Look for something to keep occupied. See broken lightbulb!
Maintaining Harmony- Replace lightbulb. Problem solved. Why are they still crying?
Playing to the Crowd- "Worst party ever. What the heck am I doing here?" Leave early.
That is 100 percent my ISTP sister.
ISTP: Somebody crying:
1) Go out to garage or man cave
2) Open CAD app and immerse
3) Sit down at drawing board and design
4) Check tool belt and exit
5) Look for broken lightbulb to replace ....
Relatable. Every time I find myself surrounded by people, I always adapt to the group’s mentality and behavioral pattern. Sometimes it makes me feel uneasy, like I don’t know whether it’s a real me or I’m just sort of pretending. Don’t know how to explain it
ISFJ, and I often don't know that I'm angry/unhappy about a situation if I'm around someone else when it happens. I need time alone to stop feeling the other person's feelings. Or sometimes I get good and mad about something, but as soon as I'm around the person I'm mad at, I'm so swept up by their feelings that I literally can't feel my own anger at them and deal with it. It can be disorienting and make me feel like a liar.
@@misseva7404 exactly. Dominant or auxiliary Fe is really exhausting most of the time
That's a tough question since by definition the desire to change yourself does come from an authentic place in the sense that it is you, yet at the same time you might feel inauthentic while doing it. I think the most important thing is to make sure that you have people in your life that you don't have to adjust yourself around ~ Nathan
@@lovewho me family. Actually technically I still kinda have to adjust in some way. But not really. I think friends you can let out your secrets and be REAL. But family you can be like 98% real
@@misseva7404 I know exactly how you feel! As an ISFJ, I always absorbed my ex's feelings for many many years or a close friend's.. and always felt exactly the same. Like I never had my 'own' feelings or mind, but I knew I did inside, I would always contain my anger. From moving away from those ppl and on my own journey alone, I'm able to learn, heal and adapt to having my 'own' feelings and 'owning' 'my' feelings and accepting that what I am feeling, is real and authentic. If that makes sense
I either love high Fe users or i hate them. There’s no in between.
Thank you? Lol
I guess that can make sense haha. Cheers from an INFJ
I've slowly learned that's how I feel about all of the types.
@Vinni Al-Ambrosee ah no. For this channel you mean?
To me, there's a big distinction between dominant and auxiliary. Dominant Fe can feel really smothering. Auxiliary Fe is "just right." That's actually one of the more personal ways I distinguish the position of Fe in a person's stack -- my visceral reaction to it. Especially coming from an enneagram type 2, dominant Fe starts to make me feel squirmy after a while.
manipulative Fe users are so scary man...no wonder INFJs and particularly ENFJs have that weird charismatic cult leader stereotype
People usually say I look lost so idk where that charismatic manipulativeness went - INFJ
@@LittleMew133 That’s for you, you can have introverted cult leaders with a more quieter charm. xNFxs makes me uncomfortable sometimes...
Definitely. I use something called "frame control" long before I even knew there was a term for what I was doing. I just naturally did that.
I can't agree more nfjs can be charismatic cult leader.
@@LittleMew133 i am also an infj who used to be told that all the time too. this is probably bc i was in an Ni-Ti loop and neglecting my Fe, so it's possible you could be doing the same. or just weak Se as most of us struggle with.
Agree completely about manipulation. In a sense that is part of every interaction. Doesn't have to be sinister.
Manipulation is when someone does smth to you while expecting smth in return. So it's not really always manipulation, unless they're aware that they're doing it on purpose
words like convincing or inspiring or influence are better used than manipulation. manipulation suggest bad intent...meaning you fooled someone to do something without it being their independent choice. If you convince or inspire you always leave it up to the person to make the final choice themselves. I dont agree with Nathan that manipulation is neutral.
Describe un-sinister manipulation and I will tell you how it is sinister.
@@Pengalen lol. What would i do if you weren't here to tell me how it is.
@@stefanroodt1981able So you have not accepted the challenge.
Such a great explanation of Fe, coming from an ENFJ hehe
I love the clarification that high Fe users aren't always necessarily expressing emotions, rather it's about absorbing. Lots of people tend to get this confused, and it's so frustrating omfg.
also when Nathan calls your dominant function overpowered >>>>>>>>
mmmmm yeah keep inflating my ego baby
Glad to be your ego stroker ~ Nathan
INTJs have a comically large bluntness for Fe
What does this mean?
@@nametaken2538 It means INTJs make fun of ppl with feelings bc they have been deeply hurt in some way so they act very hard in order not be hurt. Much like an oyster.
@@jackieocean3511 LMFAOOOOOOOO Much like an oyster.
@@jackieocean3511 Such a broad generalization. I don't make fun of people for having feelings. Everyone has feelings. If anything, I try to respect them to a point, in that I try not to be the cause of negative ones.
However, yes I don't like to show negative feelings when it can be helped, because I don't like the reactions I get. Pity just makes me focus on the fact that I'm upset about something. Also, emotions can act similar to a disease as in how they can spread easily with people via empathy (getting sad around sad people, anxiety around anxious people). Being guarded on who we trust & allow to get close is the result of having such low Fe, and having a bit more challenge in assessing the intentions of others. Typically after the young naive INTJ learns the hard way that people can be crap. ...so yeah, oysters. That's actually a good analogy.
@@LooneyTiksCrap I apologize if my comment was offensive. I wasn't even trying to be funny so I was taken aback by the responses. Possibly I could have even been hungry bc I LOVE oysters 😃 Does that mean I like INTJs? Lol I'm an ESFJ so we think very differently. Take care and stay blessed ~ 💖 ESFJ
For some reason, I always feel bad when I realize I'm using Fe. I'm an INTP, and my ability to use it has developed slowly with time. Now it feels like a forbidden superpower that is trying to lead me to the dark side. It's uncomfortable/unnatural, but it gets the job done. As I use it, I'll be analyzing how it works, and whether or not it is ethical/honest to use it. I am always exhausted afterward.
It depends on HOW you use it more than anything. Fe can be used for both good and evil. However, I wouldn't know how it feels to use it as mine is buried in the subconscious somewhere & mostly my understanding of it is theoretical (INTJ). To some degree it does seem like some sort of foreign superpower though. How do you "use" it though? Is it just like you can pick up on people's micro-expressions and then what? Being conscious of the feelings of others doesn't seem like an evil thing, at least not on it's own.
It can certainly feel that way yes, like some dark superpower or even cheat code of sorts ~ Nathan
Could you do: 16 Personalities getting yelled at?
infps instantly cry🙂
ISFJs struggle to maintain composure until we can get alone and cry.
Feels more like a James whateverhisnamewas video but sure
Intp...... This doesn't help the communication and just shows you are too emotional to have this talk about right now.
This is actually quite a funny idea! ~ Nathan
Fe users are the most empathetic persons in the world. I love them
The electrician analogy was beautiful. I INTP-rove it.
Your comment sir, has been verified by the Intp gang
@@steelmd Their comment has also been ENTP-roved by the ENTP Cowwitty of Wits
@@jam-hy5qm ah yes the cowwity of wits very classy
Why did I read that in a scooby-doo voice 🤣
Glad to hear it! I've never actually changed a lightbulb so you know... it was totally hypothetical... ~ Nathan
That lightbulb analogy hit me right in the Ne, 10/10 perfect analogy
Glad to hear it!! Since I've never changed a lightbulb in my life, I'm glad that my theoretical ramble actually made sense ~ Nathan
Having a 1 on 1 with a blindspot Fe user is seriously a treat as an INTP because i don’t have to ‘trojan horse’ my ideas to them in a Fe approved package. They are nightmares to manage in a group though because you then have to act as their handler- you understand where they are coming from but it’s frustrating to notice the destruction to the group’s harmony that lies in their wake.
Thus, you should have a high Fe user to smooth things out, an xxFJ. Preferably an IxFJ.
This is fascinating! Its like two people finally not needing to play the weird social game around each other any more, it's certainly refreshing indeed ~ Nathan
Thanks. I feel I needed a reminder that there are positive aspects to Fe as well. As an ISFJ, I often feel Fe is the function behind all of my problems. 🙄 I get very anxious when people around me are sad or angry. I NEED to go to extremes to stop people feeling bad or troubled, because I just can't be at peace before they are ok. Compared to the stereotypical ISFJ nurse, I'm afraid my motivations are very selfish. 😑 And because I keep forgetting not everyone has this 'Fe superpower', I can get very offended when people don't seem to sense my mood the same way I do theirs. It makes me feel no one cares, when in fact they just don't... well, know.
As an ESFJ psychiatric nurse, I understand. I'm very good at what I do, but in my personal life I can't handle it if ppl r being negative or angry. I will try to sway their perspective in the most positive way I can but if they r steadfastly being negative, I have no problem being blunt and walk away, block them, or tell them to get out of my sight. There is enough negativity in this world, and I don't need that in my personal bubble ~ 💖 ESFJ
Fe is certainly a draining function to have. My advice would be to be very rigorous with the people you choose to surround yourself with in life, people who bring about bad feeling and drama are going to cause you more issues than the average person - so avoid this like the plague! ~ Nathan
ENFJ here. Savior Fe is honestly such a burden to me. Whenever ONE PERSON is sad or uncomfortable, even if they’re all the way on the other side of the room, I’ll feel it and have the need to ‘fix’ it. Which is why I cannot stand pessimistic people. To say that Fe is open is honestly a lie. I was literally the quietest kid in my class back in the day. Didn’t say a single word. We’re very closed off for the most part, just because we’re such good social chameleons. Also, that. I’m honestly terrified of Fi users thinking I’m being fake or manipulative when I’m really not trying to be. To me, being a chameleon is what I consider authentic. I just have many parts of myself that I project to different people, really.
Amen!!!ENFJ and I feel the exact same way . it's very rare for me to show my true interior feelings/Fi. I just don't process or rely on them that much and I feel selfish when I do. When high Fe users are showing emotion, it's usually not an organic emotion coming from within, but rather what they think is appropriate for for their surroundings. The sounds fake to high Fi user's, but it's just how we are made. if we need to process something interiorly, we are much more likely to turn to our inferior Ti and the end result may seem somewhat cold and unemotional. Being married to a dominant Fi, I've seen this tension many times.
I don't know why people tell that ENFJs are good match for INFPs and vice versa when Fi feels selfish to Fe users and Fe feels fake to Fi users..
Infj that was married to ENFP and I can verify that it was one of the most contentious parts of our marriage
I'm INTP and I feel the same. The problem is that I cannot help them and escape for that situation, so fucking stressfull
@@thesevenkingswelove9554 When my friend Fi user say that they don't feel other emotions was so blown me to me. Fe users are the true empathetic peolpe
ISTP here. I can use Fe for linguistic manipulation if I have enough information about the group or individual that I am going to be dealing with and can plan ahead to a degree. I usually prefer not to, unless it is in the service of a worthwhile goal, as I see it as being fake, and that really begins to take a toll after a while.
To everyone who is an Fi user talking about how Fe is this amazing superpower, I envy you. You guys are almost always in a good mood, or so it seems. Certainly a lot more than I am. Also, empathy really doesn’t get you very far in the real world in terms of, money, power, life satisfaction, or other things that actually matter. Even with Fe inferior I often find myself being too nice/self-deprecating/sometimes even a doormat to pursue purely my own self interest, and am often tormented by the fact that I am aware that I am acting against my self interest, despite it being what comes naturally, at least to a degree.
I am most often attacked on a personal level by extroverted feelers. My interests, my work and even my personal presentation has been belittled by Fe friends and family. I'm an INTJ and I just dont get that. If I point out a flaw in someone's system, I'M the villain, but emotional manipulation is accepted.
Oh. Yay. Look. It's me.
I think you nail the empathy use, at least for this ENFJ. It's one long struggle to hold on to yourself, and to form boundaries. And yes, growing up in the middle of a pitched battle isn't fun.
And that lack of tact of the INTJ isn't just jarring; the one I recently met often seems truly mean, to me. 🥺
ENTPinion: Manipulating is just taking personal responsibility for the direction of an interaction and not being afraid to guide it along beneficial means with our own very capable hands. That’s why its so frustrating/insulting when someone tries to do it to us.
I have high fe and I think people might misunderstand social harmony. Yes social harmony for ourselves is good and a thing that we want for ourselves, but if you can feel others pains as well you also want people to not be as stressed because you know how that feels. Of course this can depend on the individual but I think in general that is the case.
Like this quote by Robin Williams illustrates
"I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that."
Excellent comment and I adore that Robin Williams quote. If you haven't already then feel free to join our Discord server, we have lots of people on there who are knowledgable about personality types and also I'm on there a lot so feel free to message me on there. The link is in the description of most of our videos ~ Nathan
Great job describing Fe. The name of the game for ExFJs is social harmony. The ENFJ (or at least this one) typically has an idealized vision of the future via Ni and wants to impose their will on the world while maintaining social harmony. I am constantly “keeping score” to see how I fit within a given social group and my feelings can be moved significant by others. I need them to feel good for me to feel good.
The last sentence in this comment is pretty impactful to read and really draws attention to the difficulty Fe users can have! Great comment, thank you for taking the time to write it ~ Nathan
@@lovewho Thank you! I am a big fan of this series! Keep up the great work.
I just think of Fe as the glue for group-clustering and yet not what’s especially correlated with empathy. While high Fe users can be very palatable for the people they value but for those they don’t, it’s quite the opposite. As a usual Fi user, I cannot take that...
This is a very good point actually about group harmony vs actual empathy ~ Nathan
ENFJ here. Thank you for the accurate description. Many of us want to keep the harmony not just because we feel what others feel, but because we truly care for people. However I have seen many people (including MBTI people on CZcams) who don't understand this and call us "fake" or that we have "lack of depth", when it couldn't be further from the truth. We understand why people might not like and bicker with each other, but we genuinely see each person's point of view and how likeable they can be. I have many really close relationships with a lot of people and they are deep and they are many. I understand why it might be hard for someone to understand this, but it's just how some of us are ❤️
I could honestly use more tips on how to manifest and use Fe to a healthy advantage than just have a base understanding of it as an INTP. Because I know I can feel it, but it's hard for me to put into practice without coming off extremely socially awkward and inept in most cases
Honestly, you have to expose yourself more to situations that prompt you to use it. Ti seeks to understand something as deeply/completely as possible & in order to do that, you need that varied experience.
It is part of INTPs charm! Haha
As an Intp, give up, work on it later
getting more into my body has helped and learning how to sit with uncomfortable feelings and just feel them (without the story/thoughts, without judgment). Learning to be with my feelings without running away from them has enabled me to be with others'. Self compassion, yoga, mindfulness and changing my underlying beliefs has helped a lot
Well, I would start by focussing on simply getting other people to talk, ask them questions and use your Ti and Ne to generate questions that are more interesting than the typical ones. You trying to be the socially smooth talkative one in all situations is going to be difficult and energy-sapping so start by getting the other person to expend the energy. Asking really unusual yet relevant questions does two things: allows you to relax without needing to talk + makes the other person feel listened to and seen, something almost everyone wants and also lacks in their life ~ Nathan
ISFJ here. Your analysis always makes me feel understood and respected. Thank you.
Thank you for this comment, this is really great to hear ~ Nathan
As an INTJ it’s like *EVERY TIME* I attempt to go down that Fe rabbit hole 🕳 I’m instantly *Over It* and end up just calling a spade a spade with whoever I’m dealing with that has pushed me to the point of needing to be blunt.
The only exception is at work where you have to play the Fe game to survive (that is until I get my own thing and then I can ditch that nonsense too). This is why many INTJs end up having their own business or working in fields that require little Fe interaction it’s literally a draining sensation when I have to engage in it for longer periods of time.
I think because INTJs are lead Ni we inherently understand that Fe is transient and we are concerned with getting to the core of truths so it just comes off as burdensome when we have to engage in that way because nothing is really being achieved or understood at a deeper level.
Now, this isn’t to say it’s a good thing that I’m not better with Fe and it obviously is useful in society to an extent.
interesting. as an intp when I am over it, I just exit the conversation. Usually actually physically exit, but at least change the subject to something inane.
I admire Fe dominant people. They are social chameleons that get the pulse right. I’ve always been fascinated with human nature and interpersonal relationships, because it doesn’t come naturally for me.
(Infj here) I actually could never relate to the statement that INFJ's are the ones who stay in a corner at the party or just lay low bc they're Introverted people. I never did that, specially when I was a teen, but not because I wanted to be the center of attention or the barer of the conversation (it was actually a burden) but because of the autoimposed responsibility (coming from my fe) of making the conversation between my friends to go on and having everyone I knew to enjoy the ocasion, this sounds crazy but it wasn't to me and I even became the one people looked at when the group was left with no topics, yes, we were all teens. The thing I want to share is that It led me to a point where I KNEW what looks good at a social event, how bad would it be if I was all alone not Socializing with a big group. But I actually wanted to be alone sometimes, tho I kept forcing myself. Obviously tall led me to the worst social anxiety, not because I didn't know what to do at social events, but because I was so hyper aware of everything I felt all eyes were on me and I just wanted to stay home.
This must sound crazy to some
If you can relate, even if this only happened in your past (I hope so) give me a comment.
Your comment is very true. Sadly there's a dark side to fe
I can relate to this 100% 💜
as an INFJ, I can relate
Oh no - intj
Haha! This made me laugh ~ Nathan
I find this very interesting, I've always been very attuned to others' feelings and I've caught myself mirroring body languages and accents in many, many situations. Except I'm an INFP, Fe isn't even in my stack. I believe Fi may be the one behind this, but Fi isn't into being swayed by others, ever the individualist (doesn't help I'm also type 4) so when I become aware I'm mimicking others I forcefully stop myself. I think it really goes to show that functions aren't as linear or individualised as we sometimes make them up to be and that, possibly, shadow functions have more weight to them than what we give them credit for.
@@abbyanderbard Yes indeed, I feel like most extraverted functions probably do this to some degree, after all they are interacting with the outside world. Also, for INFPs, our auxiliary Ne's main task is to feed into Fi and the inner world. In order for our inner world to be a faithful enough representation of reality, Ne needs to rely this kind of information as accurately as possible, so it would make all the sense that it would store this kind of info.
As for Se, I can definetly see that, I have blind spot Se, so my understanding of this function isn't the best, but since Si organizes patterns in the inner world, I'd expect Se to do something similar, but in the outside world. Mannerisms, accents, little tics, seems exactly like the kind of info it would pick up on.
Your nickname sir, has been verified by the wolf gang
@@steelmd Thank you, kind sir. Much appreciated.
To be fair, the average human is wired for mirroring and mimicry. It has been well-established in scientific literature. For personality, I would guess it isn’t about whether or not one is capable of mimicry, but how the personality relates to it, and how it is used and interpreted. Fe is an extraverted judging function, so a high Fe user might actively employ mimicry or mirroring as a basis of relating to the tribe, and be very aware of how it can serve their best interests compared to a low Fe user. Low Fe might be more “reactive” to the mirroring behaviors or feel less in control of it (like you said, you try to stop when you notice it instead of taking it as a sign of successful attunement).
@@Sharkuterie327 Yes, for sure. Studies have even shown that we are most likely to mimic the body language of people we are fond of, which indicates it is a behaviour designed to helps us fit in and be accepted. Humans are, after all, social animals, so there are many small behaviours deeply imprinted into our subconscious that we inherited from our ancestors. Even feelings like embarrassment can be explained from an evolutionary point of view, as we are programmed to seek approval from the tribe, seeing as approval is synonym of increased chances of survival and reproductive success.
So, to sum it up, I believe we all share the same general programming, but the way we run it differs according to the functions we prefer to use. But, as the general programming is mostly subconscious and our functions are mainly conscious, and seeing as the two aren't usually privy to the workings of the other, the way we express and react to this basic programming differs greatly depending on what functions you have in your stack. Some functions embrace some aspects of this programming, ignore some others and even renounce others. Hence the different personality types. I believe that in a natural setting where humans would be subjected to natural selection, these differences might even play into an individual's fitness, determining their reproductive success.
Just baseless speculations though, funny how the brain seeks (and fails) to understand itself.
I have really loved type in mind and psychology junkie description of Fe as a function. It's the bizarre constant noticing/absorbing other people's behavior and feelings and remembering everyone's life stories in extreme detail (that they keep telling). Yes it is harmony function and analyzing societies and etiquette and manners. And yes the reply applied to enneagram 2 to a t as well.
An often-used phrase for me: "I can sympathize, but I can't empathize." I mean, I can barely stand my own feelings, I certainly don't want to feel anyone else's.
This is a very interesting point/distinction to make ~ Nathan
OMG THANK U!!! I'd always question why other people around me seemed to be themselves all the time no matter who the person was whereas I'd always adapt to people's personalities instead of being myself (still not quite sure who that is btw, so it makes it harder).
Your explanation just made me feel better about myself💕
This is really great to hear, thank you for taking the time to leave this comment and I hope you're enjoying the other videos on here too~ Nathan
Am I the only one who keeps looking at his eyebrows?
They’re majestic
mesmerising
Nope you definitely aren't the only only one
I attribute them to his Welshness.
They're to distract people from the fact that nothing I say makes sense, and to pickpocket them ~ Nathan
as an entp, fe drives me. it really matters and ti is just there to make sure I'm not unbalanced with it, have to conserve my energy. I've recently connected more with my fi and that helps
💯
💯 I'm infj and do a lot of shadow work. Having used a lot of emotional therapy to get in touch with my fi has really helped.
@@nicholasjh1 yep haven't been at the therapist since the lockdown stuff but it was good for me😁
As an ENTP, I think my Fe is pretty strong, although it might be nurture-based as I grew up in a household where I was always walking on eggshells. It was useful to predict how certain family members were feeling and tailor my approach. I think female ENTPs especially might have better developed their Fe.
This is definitely an underrated aspect of ENTPs in my view!! ~ Nathan
It’s always cool to immediately notice every mannerism and detail in someone’s behavior and speech, but not being able to adapt to it in any way.
I'm strongly attached to my Fe, I find myself absorbing everyone energies and vibes (negative or positive but mostly the first one) even by simply watching a movie or talking for few minutes with someone, I find myself adapting to my surroundings even if I'm with a group of people: the accent, the tone, the subjects I might talk about, basically everything.. I truly see and feel that change, when absorbing their emotions I easily find myself overwhelmed but trying to cope with that as much and as best as I can, it's quite challenging and exhausting sometimes (INFJ)
had to laugh when you said: intp's and istp's will say that it's sad the light bulb is broken, but won't change it. 😂 that's so me with most people, I only change it when I'm drunk 😂
Haha!! ~ Nathan
Understanding Fe was eye openning to me. It explaned so much the outcomes of some key moments in my life. It was the equivalent of "oh, I have feelings!". I know it sounds stupid. So let me explaine.
Over my life I thought myself to control (more like supress) my emotions realy well. As a child I was extremely sensitive. I still am. The diference is, I know to to better identify now if an emotions comes from the envioronment or someone else. That means I created a "detached" relationship with emotions. Afterall, most of the time they were not mine.
What is the problem here?
I begane to supress my own emotions because part of social job was to keep harmony. Or at least, a relative control of the situation. To do that, you need a clear head. Mostly, you need to identify were the emotions are coming from.
It sounds over manipulative and rational, but it is not.
It is pretty much a instinct.
The result?
My emotions were so supressed that discoverying this behavior was the equivalent of discoverying I have feeling for my own. Crazy, right!
Obviously, it only came with some drama. Having Fi as my shadow function didn't helped me at all.
Fe is an interesting function.
Great comment and great points, when Fe leads to suppressing your own emotions it becomes problematic. So often things that are suppressed will boil over eventually so it's usually much better to just let them out and try your best to do so in a way that isn't too explosive ~ Nathan
“[Extroverted Feeling] affords the ability to predict how someone is going to react to something. Obviously nobody is going to predict for certain or with an extreme level of precision, but they can be surprisingly accurate on average.”
Here are my thoughts on this coming from an INFJ.
For an INFJ, like you said, Fe is much more about absorbing the emotions and overall feel of those around me. Because Fe is my second function, its entire role is to serve my dominant function of Introverted Intuition, which fundamentally has to do with understanding the world, connecting the dots, seeing things through an abstract lens, and how things will play out in the future. Therefore, though I think to some degree an INFJ can predict how someone will react to something and can navigate social circumstances with skill, I think this can be pretty exhausting for most INFJs if the social setting is prolonged or if there are more than just a few people involved. In a rather stimulating or large social setting, an INFJ will more likely feel that the harder he works to navigate the situation, or predict reactions, the faster he has to absorb and process information. It’s like an INFJ is constantly soaking in the feel of the room and is trying keep up with the ever changing dynamics of the setting. It’s not necessarily the absorbing everyone’s feelings that is exhausting for an INFJ, it is the absorbing of feelings AND trying to then process those feelings and navigate the setting that wears us out. INFJs need to engage socially to be healthy and can be rather skilled in social settings, but we are naturally there to observe and absorb, so that the Fe can serve our Ni in a latter time when we’re all alone.
I do often feel that I subconciously morph myself to fit a certain group people. This is often positive as I can get close to a lot of people and know how best to approach them. However this has created a negative impact in which I don't actually know if some parts of me are genuinely me or something I've made up during the morphing process.-entp
Yayyyyy more minutes of Nathan to watch :)
Why thank you... there are many more minutes to come... ~ Nathan
This is the video that I didn't realize I really, really wanted to watch until I got the notification 😂 Love your vids as always
Thank you very much! Hope you're enjoying the other cognitive function videos too! ~ Nathan
@@lovewho Yes I am! I love your content! Keep up the great work 😁
gotta say, luvin the brows (and as always, luvin the content)
Amen to this! ~ Nathan
Love the accent and the precise clipped way you speak....and your eyebrows are the icing on the cake...followed and liked...there I said it (remember it though because I'm not likely to say it more than once) (intp)
Thank you for: following, liking and the eyebrow appreciation. Feel free to join our Discord server if you haven't already, the link for it is in there description of most of the videos ~ Nathan
Well done I'd say. I like the manipulation part because you explained it as neutral. I see it as beneficial for others and myself. I'm nice to peple so that they remember me as nice and treat me well in the future should I need something from them.
And, as an introverted Fe user, I don't necessarily share what I know and learn about people around me but store it for whenever I might need it.
I use so much my Fe that even making my things alone I perform for 'others', for example imagining what would be the reaction of specific people that i care about if they were with me
I am an ISFJ, and I sometimes I have problems with certain groups of people because I too obviously is not trying to fit in or adopt and show too clearly that I am happy going my own way. I am rather alone than trying to be likeable to some people. But that is often groups that are too gossipy or too eager to speak bad of other people and has a dynamic I don't like. (I am an anarchist ISFJ). (raised by an ISFP) And my FE often shows in me taking the opposite feeling than someone else. If something sad happens and I know or think someone is sadder than me, I don't even have to try to be the strong one - I instinctively am. And if someone else is afraid - I take on a calm role whatever I might have otherwise felt.
I like your series about functions, I would also like to see a series about the functions based on their position in the function stack.
I'll also talk about the function axis at some point too! ~ Nathan
Your analogies make the video so funny and make learning about cognitive functions so much less daunting. Thank you Nathan 🙌
I don't understand this,
Do people really get offended if someone calls them manipulative?
I mean most people can't catch that I am manipulating them
( I off course take precautions)
But if someone still does, and says me something like you are manipulating them, I take it as a compliment. I actually feel flattered 😅
Lmao everyone is manipulating people they meet on a daily basis whether it be with good intentions or not. It's how humans communicate lol
Manipulating people in bad intentions is not gonna bring you to healthy relationship. If you think about long-term goals they have little to nothing in common with a need to manipulate people. Though, I understand why you might feel that way. You think you are smart, etc. You might be smart enough if you can pull this out. However, are you smart enough to not manipulate people?
ENTP here
I think people have different takes on manipulation. I do it to my 4 year old nephew to make him sleep on time or eat vegetables
@@stan141 haha such a beautiful arguement, i really love the way you put it forth as well.
but the very essence of manipulating people as an INFJ is to make things better,
INFJs (MOSTLY) manipulate people for the sake of convenience in the relation, we don't manipulate for getting our stuff done, it's like
Now I know you are an ENTP now I would try put my opinion to you that an ENTP will agree.
If I have to put the same opinion Infront of an INTJ I would put it in a way they would conveniently agree with. And so on...
So you could say in a sense we just read you, the thing being manipulated is our opinions not exactly YOU.
-Thanks, probably an INFJ but may be an INTP.
Edit: Btw yes it is true I feel smart pulling off such stuff, that was right on the money.
But yes about not manipulating and still be able to handle relationships, I think we are kinda half-@ssed in that matter,
We think if we won't be perfect, we won't be appreciated. It's printed on our mind in such a harsh way, it's really tough to actually act against it.
Plus we over-analyze,
I truly feel pity over myself when I look at this like that😣😔
5:06 - 5:21 nail on the head, hahaha, I feel like it sums up a lot of conversations between my ISTP mom and my INFP self
Great analysis. 100% agreed
Thank you very much! ~ Nathan
I am an ENFJ. I am also a Registered Nurse working for the homeless that have addictions, mental/physical health and social issues. Empathy and advocacy really help me get my job done
THANK you for explaining a function depending on where it is in the stack! (Functions behave differently to a type depending on where it is for them in their stack.) It would be interesting to go further and explain how it behaves with other functions next to them as well. For instance INTPs and ISTPs both have dom Ti and inferior Fe. But we problem solve differently because INTPs have aux Ne and tert Si, whereas ISTPs have aux Se and tert Ni.
At some point I'll do videos not the function axis as well for sure ~ Nathan
A long comment (yet again :P), which is more about feeling other's emotions and how I think it may tie into the manipulation aspect as well. Anyway, here goes:
Something that has been on my mind about Fe users is the ability to infer emotions of others, this probably happens unconsciously at first, through mirroring (reading the details of the other person, applying them to oneself and then reading what feelings are coming up and from there having an accurate estimate of the emotions that are being felt), which does lead to the issue of not knowing what one actually feels (I've seen this being said about INFJs a few times) as the feelings of another person may be felt by the Fe user without them being aware of it.
While this happens unconsciously and later on one can become aware of this which would lead them to distinguishing between what they actually feel and what other people feel, I think it can go even further than that and one can become conscious of this process and even control it to a great extend.
Fe may be seen as a complex apparatus to which you feed a bunch of stuff and you get the result on the feeling spectrum. At first this is unconscious, you don't know what you're feeding it, you only acknowledge the results, then you become aware of what is being fed into the Fe and thus you can now distinguish between what is your input (your own emotions, little details and so on) and what is someone else's input and with this you get to a very healthy state where your Fe works on multiple distinguishable threads where you know know what you are feeling and you know what the other person is feeling precisely, it's no longer "is this me? why am I feeling depressed when there's no reason to do so? is the person next to me actually depressed? but they seem so happy...".
The next step would be to exercise more control over the Fe, by controlling what your inputs are, meaning you get to feel whatever you wish to induce through the inputs. This can be conceptualized in a number of ways, one of them is by breaking the bond between one's own emotions that go into Fe and basically ignore them or somehow redirect them, transform them even so the Fe would get a different emotion. Another is to imagine a different person which feeds into the Fe automatically. All the mechanisms are already there, the habits, gestures, all the small details that are the result of an emotion that is no longer felt, but fed, artificially created through the conscious mind. The result is that I can display any feeling I want with this, the cost is that I may no longer acknowledge what my true emotions are because I'll be twisting them so much that they've lost all their meaning.
This may be how Fe users get to become master manipulators because they being able to feed the Fe and get all the details working at that extend may fool other Fe users as well because everything fits into place. It all pans out because the emotions someone else feels are always approximated through expressed feelings, they are not actually known by the reader, they are guessed with high probability.
This is epic! Thank you for taking the time to leave this comment and hopefully you're enjoying the other videos too. Your point about "controlling the inputs" was very good and very applicable in many different areas of our lives I'd say ~ Nathan
That lightbulb analogy was brilliant. I think that applies not just to certain types, but I often feel like that as male interacting with females!
2:51 Instead of "manipulation," I think you could use "guide." The have the same general meaning with different connotations.
Best explanation ever!
Thank you very much, glad you enjoyed it!! Hope you're enjoying the other videos too ~ Nathan
That lightbulb analogy was the most accurate thing I think I've ever heard lol
Why thank you... ~ Nathan
Again, Brilliant.
Thank you very much, hope you're enjoying the videos on here! ~ Nathan
Thank you for sharing
Spot on.
Thank you very much! ~ Nathan
Great video. Very helpful thoughts.
Thank you very much!! ~ Nathan
Brilliant! 🌟
INTPs are often anaware of their own feelings. That's why they tend to dismiss the feelings of others. Like:
"Bruh, I don't have X. Even if I have X I never act on it. So why your X is all over the place? It's tiresome. I want to go home".
0:40 I am ENFP and Fi works exactly the same way when empathizing with people, I never really use Fe (referring to the access of a databank of emotions to put ourselves in one's shoes)
Also an enfp, and same. I'm starting to learn to put up a barrier so that other people's feelings don't leak over to me, but it's always an effort, and I only do it with stubbornly negative people.
But I also don't care as much about reaching group consensus on things as the Fe users I know. They don't mind going endlessly round and round to decide ex. who will be the host/ which movie to watch/which restaurant to go to, and I'm very impatient and blunt in those situations.
" I like this, hate that, and don't mind those. How about you? Let's get this decided!" It bothers people sometimes, but oh well. Dithering is the worst.
@@er6730 I thought that instead of your own "databank", you search through your experiences with other people and their emotions, rather than your own emotions/experiences when you are using empathy as an Fe user... Am I wrong?
@@Partor6 as an infj I tend to search through my own database of experiences to understand the person or situation and then to my experiences with others in the same setting
@@gabriellavictory3080 I see, i guess this is just empathy in general, doesn't make a difference whether you are Fi or Fe
@@gabriellavictory3080 I think I understand the main difference though:
an Fe would be more able to give immediate emotional support, they can make these judgements on the spot, while as much as I've experienced, as an Fi the best way I show emotional support is to be silent. For us, this judgement call happens when we are alone, we can rarely evaluate these stuff in the moment. But Fi tends to be more effective over time in my experience. (I'm probably a bit biased on that :D )
Very good explenation! If I want, I think I am mostly able to adapt to my environment...might be the reason why I make friends easily! But most of the time I dont want to adapt (fully)^^ (ESTP)
ESTPs have very underrated Fe indeed, some serious roguish charm right there ~ Nathan
please do extroverted intuition next !
4:10 You got me Nathan, well played...
Why thank you... ~ Nathan
Really interesting. I'm INFP and adjust myself emotionally to people all the time. Trouble is I later berate myself for it especially when I'm unwell
Im an ENTP and i think about you described having Fe in slot three was perfect. I always find myself wanting to get to that line because i want to be myself but i also don't want to end up casuing too much discord among those i hang out with. As time goes on, i usually keep pushing that line though.
Glad to hear you found it accurate!! Thank you for this comment ~ Nathan
Yes very true. I am an INTP over empathise a lot and also want to problem solve for others. I have learnt much better how to be with my uncomfortable feelings and allow things to be. Not easy! 🙏
Nathan , what is your type? Completely agree on the point that fe is empathy unlike sympathy which it is confused for. Also great point in stating that fe is more about absorbing emotions rather than overtly expressing them. And the analogy of the light bulb is hilarious! I also think fe is about getting externally motivated rather than internally motivated. They look at others emotions which are tied to their values and motives and discern what they should do for themselves.
Feel free to join our Discord server (the link is in the description of most of out videos) and maybe we'll chat on there and I'll tell you... until then I'll stay as a man of mystery ~ Nathan
Fascinating.
Thank you, hope everything is well with you! ~ Nathan
This is something I ponder about. I am an INTP, and I can't relate to most of these things (personally speaking, not from the objective defined functions of the INTP), however the point of being empathetic, specifically how my emotions adapt to what others are feeling, is something I relate to too much in my opinion. This is bad in my case, since I have a brother who is angry very often.
This is the reason for me getting into arguments with others. They get angry at something, which I think in hindsight can be completely justified, but I get angry too and end up accidentally arguing for why their feelings were invalidated in that moment (as in they didn't need to be there). I don't like when other people are experiencing negative emotions, because I'm likely to experience them too. I don't do it consciously by the way, it just happens.
Five of my closest relations and friends are Fe types, but as an Fi person I almost never notice them consciously manipulating me ........ oooohhh waiiitt..... Dang! Very helpful Nathan! Now, I would love to "pick up the slack down below" (that made me laugh out loud), but others might be better at doing that than I am. Wait, that didn't sound right!
It sounds sooooo right to me! Great comment as always ~ Nathan
First touchy, THEN feely. 🥊
This is brilliant. Does it explain why people always tell me lots of things about themselves on meeting me? Enfp here. I work doing admin with a lot of client contact and im out at live music and dance events too. I love people mostly although admit i prefer happy people to sad. Id rather make people smile by either being there for them or doing something silly/entertaining. But it doesnt matter where i go (shop/bar/phone call about windows quote) i get to hear peoples life story or at least something they wouldn't share normally....
This video is excellent but the only thing I would disagree with you on is the predictive prowress of the Fe function. I generally doubt such an ability in an Fe dominant personality since Fe, like other extroverted functions, is more present oriented and broad, as opposed to being narrow and future/past oriented like the introverted functions. A function can generally only be extensive/ far-reaching in one plane, either the plane of time or the plane of space. If a given function is extensive in terms of time, (i.e the introverted functions) they will be narrower in space, and a space extensive and broad (extroverted) function will always be intensive when it comes to time. This inability to be both extensive in space and time maybe a result of the need of the mind to preserve energy, under the assumption that extension takes up more energy than intention.
I use the word “influence” as synonym for “positive manipulation”
I tend to find high use of Fe comical when I’m in a good mood and very annoying when I’m in a not so good mood. I just don’t understand why it is something that needs to be considered in most situations.
I have an INFJ friend who never fails to validate my feelings so that I always feel heard. To me that’s his Fe working.
OMG so funny 🤣 how sad it is that the light bulb needs to be changed...but you can't...seems like a pretty good description of hell to me.. thanks for the laugh....too much ;)
Your point about manipulation is an interesting one. I'm an ENFJ, and our type often gets a bad rap on this front. We interact with people in much the same way that Te users interact with systems. Instead of analyzing data, we analyze people. Instead of focusing on efficiency within systems, we focus on harmony within groups; frictionless interpersonal relationships often foster more collaborative work environments, intimate relationships, etc. All of that is to say that, yes, Fe users know which metaphorical buttons to push and knobs to turn to elicit favorable emotional responses. You can call it manipulation, if you like. But let's not forget that Te users deploy manipulative tactics in their own way, for their own ends.
Especially liked the part about wanting the emotional environment to be "at least not negative," because that's often how we're going to feel too. As weird as it is to like something that demonstrates *not* being completely altruistic, I can appreciate that the way it was presented made it less selfish sounding and more logical... and was ultimately very accurate!
Very well said, emotions are much more contagious for high Fe users so there's a vested interest in making sure things stay above a certain level of... enjoyableness. Also, I'm going back through video comments... in case you were wondering, I wasn't pondering this response for 2months ~ Nathan
@@lovewho Sure ;)
I agree that Fe is an overpowered ability in our highly social society. Its power is subtle though. Even as an INFJ I think it should probably be nerfed.
So funny, I nerfed mine lol
Fe is a superpower.
Yes, I agree
ISTP here, in my job (Business Analyst) I have to consider the target audience for every document that I write as writing for the business crowd is different to writing for the technical solution crowd. I suspect that I do this more through experience and knowledge rather than feeling, but I am always surprised at how few other project professionals consider the target audience when communicating and I have had more than one instance of being a preferred person to work with as I will listen and work out the level of the other people's knowledge to aim to speak at the same level.
Do more of these plz
Hi. High Fe user here been secluding myself for almost a year (before covid too) to learn about what i really want (Ni-Ti) (probably in order to empathize with as many people as I can too😊)
Can say its not easy, but have been satisfying my Fe-Se too long with little attention to Ni-Ti.
Very interesting! Hopefully things are going well for you, btw feel free to join our Discord server, the link is in the description of most of our videos ~ Nathan
INTP here. The lightbulb analogy. It's how I feel whenever the conversation turns to race. I would much rather solve the problem than emote over it, but OK. Or talking about the Presidential election; I keep trying to interject my question - "Exactly why do we have to have a President?" - but no one wants to hear my little interjections from the land of Oz.