Thanks Jill. I got lots of projected garbage. Part of my healing journey is realizing it was not my garbage and it's not true. I am NOT their landfill!!
Spent decades trying to understand how my ex didn't know right from wrong... Finally realized he knew & and didn't care. Decency was simply a speed bump on the road to his wants & desires!!
I was happy the first few days last year, when i threw mine out. It didn't last though. I was so attached and I grieved a long time. However, most of the pain came from the fact he had been cheating, and pretty much just moved in with her. He and I own a business together, so its been a lot to deal with. Finally feeling detached and calmer and happy again.
@@johnthomson843 You must have an incredible sixth sense. I had to learn my lesson after 56 years with my violent, blackmailing dad, forcing myself to ignore the red flags, just to keep the peace. (There never were any lovebombs that weren't unconditional). Sadly for him, he didn't know when to stop, nor will he ever stop. He even blatantly lied to try win an argument he was losing. (Which l must say was a godsend- now l have a solid reason to never trust him again.) Been 2 years since l went no - contact. Bet he's blaming everyone else, the poor victim.😭
I experienced most of these in my marriage, but the mind reading stuff hit hard. My ex husband rarely communicated with me. There was idle chatter or talking but rarely "let's get on the same page" communication. I didn't know what I was doing most of the time, and he wasn't about to speak to me and let me know why he was angry. I just knew it had to have been my fault, so I kept trying to do better even though if he'd bothered to mention what was wrong, then we could have fixed it. Sadly, there was never a We. Always a Him. Maddening stuff. Thank you, Jill.
That sounds exactly like my wife. She would just resort to the silent treatment and I had no idea why....sometimes for 3 days and I would have no idea at all what I had done. This involved expecting me to know and no affection whatsoever. This also would be projected towards our first son. Who is traumatized now from her and finds it hard to show affection tion towards his brothers
My narcissist sister’s favorite line is “I don’t remember that was so long ago”, when I bring up something crappy she’d done in the past. It’s funny because she remembers perfectly anything I did wrong years and years ago.
If you catch them in something, it "isn't what it seems" or "you're crazy" If you show them footage, "you're spying" (that's called turning it around) If you stop them in an action, and point out a quote of theirs, which said action betrays, they will "explain" why you "misunderstand" or "misinterpreted" what they said or meant If you log the abuses on paper, date and time them, and even better, have quotes they betray and footage to back your penned logs, they'll point out that what you are doing is "obsessive" or "unhealthy" to try to get you to think badly about it, or feel badly about it, to deter it. If necessary, they'll engage in the silent treatment, then, of course, have a list of reasons why the silence is YOUR fault. They cannot and they WILL NOT be told what they are wrong in, or how, or why. They THINK they have an argument, yet, if you spend 13 years studying Logic, as a science, you begin to see 100% of narcissists form from ILLOGICAL minds. A narcissist is incapable of logic in his reasoning.
Thank you Jill for posting this very informative video ! The level of hyprocrisy is out of control, not only by the narcissist, but those in positions of wealth, power, authority, and the narcissists flying monkeys.
It's not that they don't know. They don't care. At all. I've spent almost 30 years trying to get my mother to be a decent human being. It is INEVITABLE that they be garbage. There is no human, force, or God, who can change a narcissist. Only themselves. They have to LOSE so much, that that ego actually BREAKS to find legitimate solutions..
They are a Love Black-hole, you don't go there. Not even Hades nor Death can change/ provoke them. They have lost their God consciousness, it's their choice they went to the dark side.
@@darrelldoran509 They all need to go on to an island by themselves and stop interacting with the normal population, they ruin, damage, families and generations. In ancient times, these people were booted out of the tribe/camp.
THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS YOUR VIDEOS HAVE HELPED ME TREMENDOUSLY.. SOME RED FLAGS I HAVE SEEN WHERE HAVING MANIPULATIVE TENDENCIES. LACKING COMPASSION LOVE BOMBING LACK OF EMPATHY.. NARCISSISTIC ABUSE IS BRUTAL….
I used to say to my ex (on a regular basis) that I was not a clairvoyant nor, a mind reader so he better spit it out & just tell me what he wants. He always got his way, I never cared about what I wanted as long as it kept him happy & shut him up.
That “teaching human decency to a narcissist” is what stopped me from leaving. Until I healed some childhood trauma with EMDR/CBT therapies, I mistakenly believed that his childhood trauma included not learning “human decency”. How wrong I was! Three years of therapy within the relationship helped me to become clear about my values and I was able to LEAVE. Now out of the relationship for almost 5.5 years, I continue to make healing my top priority, with more EMDR/CBT, as the pandemic and enforced isolation triggered deeper issues.
I waisted 6 years of my life dealing with a narcissist. I didn’t know why until I learned about abuse on the internet. I’m glad I was able to escape and then learn that I was not at fault
This is not funny, but the way you delivered this is so fun. :). I really like your interior design. the pinks, rose colors, all the shades together especially the green plant.. But what is the wonderful wood lattice piece? is it a light lantern or a drum?. your dress with your back drop is pretty:).. This is a good video to store in our brain.
When you come across them they'll always find fault with you.."oh there's a leaf on your hair"....you forgot to button this button....oh there's a few hairs on your collar. I say to them....leave it, I like it that way!
YES. OMG, my ex always did this both to me and our four children. The number of times he said, "Good job, BUT.....", or "Well, sure, but it would have been better if....".
LR That's exactly right and I endured criticism from my highly narcissistic younger sister for many years in regard to my clothes, my hair and my weight etc! It happened with what I did or said as well though, which ended up causing immense harm to my mental and physical health. Luckily, she lives in another country and I've reached the stage where I'm not able to have much contact, due to being burnt out. ❤
Wow. Enlightened targe! I expiercened the info you presented. I learned to take notes and what response to take. I was heading to work by bus. The narcicist army was out n about. The bus took so long. Tryimg to get me fired. Ok. I remembered what took place last time. So I walked to another stop and I looked the bus was purposely waiting behind a large vehicle like last time. Enlighted target the journal notes helped me because I refreshed myself with responding to Vile mentality. No more 6 months , 1 month, holding on. I moved on from the job. No more Malignant Narcissist Abuse. Thank you For the information Stat Blessed
My ex-girlfriend had created drama between people. She had mentioned several times that she wasn’t concerned with her neighbors and she wanted to stay out of their drama. She then shared personal information that one gave her and told the other. Very toxic. My ex’s appearance with the neighborhood Women and Soccer Moms was a charade. I think the people who knew her better were wise. She had several friends which bridges were burned. There’s always 2 sides to a story.
I need to take your class. Met narc, he chased me for 6 years, we married, 21 years, divorced for 5 years and he still won't leave me alone. He's a covert, dark triad, malignant narc who specializes in gaslighting and I was a victim of trauma bonding. I'm a survivor. He abused me mentally, physically, psychology, verbally, emotionally, socially, financially. Stalking, sleep deprivation, word salad, accusations, projection, diversion, mind fucking, threats, distraction, cheating, stealing, lying, manipulating, drama, chaos, interrogation techniques, used, abused. My brain is like jello from dealing with him. My body is sick. He's amping up his game. I want to move, I have to if I want anything resembling peace. He wants to move with me. No way. He says he'll move across the street. He's a special kind of twisted. He wants me dead. Told me how he's gonna do it. Can you help me. I don't want to live my last few remaining years, months in this hell.
Yup. My husband's covert Narc mother was like this. When my oldest child got married and was preparing for the wedding, her covert Narc grandmother was angry that there was attention on my oldest child who was MIL's Scapegoat grandchild so she punished her by volunteering to buy the cake arrangement and then waiting till a week before the wedding to very angrily call up my daughter and spit out at her that she, the bride, was going to have to pick up the cake herSELF! MIL had a very nasty was of speaking to people with an ugly voice damaged by decades of smoking and drinking. MIL was visibly irritated at the wedding and was constantly trying to stir crap up: telling my husband that we needed to "get in there" and make sure we weren't left out of the wedding photos because she was sure it would happen since the photographer was a friend of the groom's family. Then she rushed off early to the reception venue and like an idiot missed out on the adorable pictures of the multi-generational women at the wedding. MIL and Golden Child SIL (Golden Grandchildren didn't attend the wedding) left early. It really felt like the usual: they couldn't be bothered with us so we weren't important enough to stay. MIL never bothered to go to my kids' activities with the exception of one spring dance recital after MIL got her cancer diagnosis. So the theme continued. MIL also got jealous of my second youngest daughter when my daughter earned a solo in her tiny dance school's Nutcracker show. MIL pretended to be very excited about the show, then waited till a week before the performance to grab my daughter by the upper arm and give the this half baked sob story that MIL was just worn out because of her cancer treatments so she wasn't able to attend the Nutcracker show. She had to go on a cruise instead. What the actual heck?? After this, MIL intensified the mind games with my child and picked on her every time she thought I wasn't looking. Then some years later,
Jay Kay I really feel for your daughter and want to mention that you missed out what happened some years later. I've loved reading and writing since I was a child and often write long comments too. I also like to read other people's long ones, when I have time, or even when I don't have it, which is causing issues in my life. Lol. I'm aware that the counsellors etc definitely don't have enough time to read every comment, let alone respond, especially with late ones, which is often the case with mine. It's okay if you don't get to add the rest though, as I owe so many replies to people anyway! I keep thinking that I'll catch up, yet great new videos, like this one, appear and things keep happening in real life. 😊
you need to get those spots on your decolletage checked with your fair skin, hair and eyes. It's concerning as viewer. I have similar skin type and lived on the beach for 25 years. I hope everything is good and thanks for the great content!
CapeKell Hopefully, the lovely Jill Wise is aleady doing that and appreciates your concern though. I've heard of people being assisted in that regard, due to followers, or even doctors, noticing suspicious spots etc, which is one of the postitive aspects of social media! I'm in my 60s now and used to bake myself in the sun when I was young, as it was viewed as okay, hence why I've ended up with a few skin cancers. I'm thinking that there will be more in the future too. ❤
Thanks Jill. I got lots of projected garbage. Part of my healing journey is realizing it was not my garbage and it's not true. I am NOT their landfill!!
Spent decades trying to understand how my ex didn't know right from wrong... Finally realized he knew & and didn't care. Decency was simply a speed bump on the road to his wants & desires!!
The Narcissistic Mantra is: Rules for Thee, but not for ME.....
My narcissist relationship has finally ended! Moving out today ❤️
Hello Sally
How are you doing today ?
Good for you! Best of luck!
I was happy the first few days last year, when i threw mine out. It didn't last though. I was so attached and I grieved a long time. However, most of the pain came from the fact he had been cheating, and pretty much just moved in with her. He and I own a business together, so its been a lot to deal with. Finally feeling detached and calmer and happy again.
They elevate themselves to a non existent pedestal. The judge of every one, and metes out your punishment.
My covert narc totally freaked out at the number of times I could mind read and predict her moves. To quote her: "How do you know all this?"
Yep they are simps.
Because you saw the cycle of "wash, rinse, repeat," which will never change.
@@rolandoscar1696 I spot it during the initial (first) lovebombing phase... thank god! I got out before the trauma bond got totally unbreakable.
@@darrelldoran509 I've found they're far more likely to be looking for a simp slave to serve.
@@johnthomson843 You must have an incredible sixth sense. I had to learn my lesson after 56 years with my violent, blackmailing dad, forcing myself to ignore the red flags, just to keep the peace. (There never were any lovebombs that weren't unconditional). Sadly for him, he didn't know when to stop, nor will he ever stop. He even blatantly lied to try win an argument he was losing. (Which l must say was a godsend- now l have a solid reason to never trust him again.) Been 2 years since l went no - contact. Bet he's blaming everyone else, the poor victim.😭
I experienced most of these in my marriage, but the mind reading stuff hit hard. My ex husband rarely communicated with me. There was idle chatter or talking but rarely "let's get on the same page" communication. I didn't know what I was doing most of the time, and he wasn't about to speak to me and let me know why he was angry. I just knew it had to have been my fault, so I kept trying to do better even though if he'd bothered to mention what was wrong, then we could have fixed it. Sadly, there was never a We. Always a Him.
Maddening stuff.
Thank you, Jill.
You worded that very well.
That sounds exactly like my wife. She would just resort to the silent treatment and I had no idea why....sometimes for 3 days and I would have no idea at all what I had done. This involved expecting me to know and no affection whatsoever. This also would be projected towards our first son. Who is traumatized now from her and finds it hard to show affection tion towards his brothers
My narcissist sister’s favorite line is “I don’t remember that was so long ago”, when I bring up something crappy she’d done in the past. It’s funny because she remembers perfectly anything I did wrong years and years ago.
Selective memory is also a huge red flag!
If you catch them in something, it "isn't what it seems" or "you're crazy"
If you show them footage, "you're spying" (that's called turning it around)
If you stop them in an action, and point out a quote of theirs, which said action betrays, they will "explain" why you "misunderstand" or "misinterpreted" what they said or meant
If you log the abuses on paper, date and time them, and even better, have quotes they betray and footage to back your penned logs, they'll point out that what you are doing is "obsessive" or "unhealthy" to try to get you to think badly about it, or feel badly about it, to deter it.
If necessary, they'll engage in the silent treatment, then, of course, have a list of reasons why the silence is YOUR fault.
They cannot and they WILL NOT be told what they are wrong in, or how, or why. They THINK they have an argument, yet, if you spend 13 years studying Logic, as a science, you begin to see 100% of narcissists form from ILLOGICAL minds. A narcissist is incapable of logic in his reasoning.
@@horustrismegistus1017 Yes!
Thank you Jill for posting this very informative video ! The level of hyprocrisy is out of control, not only by the narcissist, but those in positions of wealth, power, authority, and the narcissists flying monkeys.
We live in a narcissistic world. I noticed that our systems have exactly SameSame pattern as the narcissists use to destroy us.
It's not that they don't know. They don't care. At all. I've spent almost 30 years trying to get my mother to be a decent human being. It is INEVITABLE that they be garbage. There is no human, force, or God, who can change a narcissist. Only themselves. They have to LOSE so much, that that ego actually BREAKS to find legitimate solutions..
They are a Love Black-hole, you don't go there. Not even Hades nor Death can change/ provoke them. They have lost their God consciousness, it's their choice they went to the dark side.
The only thing that will stop mine is death , hopefully the piper is calling her .
@@darrelldoran509 They all need to go on to an island by themselves and stop interacting with the normal population, they ruin, damage, families and generations. In ancient times, these people were booted out of the tribe/camp.
@@kathrynpearse3245 They didn't lose it. They never had it to begin with...(see Psalm 58:3-5 KJV).
I am convinced that they are born totally broken. There is no fixing them. They are predators; the wolves that prey on the sheep.
THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS
YOUR VIDEOS HAVE HELPED ME TREMENDOUSLY..
SOME RED FLAGS I HAVE SEEN WHERE
HAVING MANIPULATIVE TENDENCIES.
LACKING COMPASSION
LOVE BOMBING
LACK OF EMPATHY..
NARCISSISTIC ABUSE IS BRUTAL….
They are a Love Black-hole...
Love bombing is a HUGE red flag at the beginning of a relationship. If you notice this happening, RUN.
That is perfect,"one of these people",❤ it
Absolutely 💯 true. 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️
Good advice. Distance yourself.
Stay strong. You've taught me alot about my ex and mother of my son. It's scary.
I used to say to my ex (on a regular basis) that I was not a clairvoyant nor, a mind reader so he better spit it out & just tell me what he wants. He always got his way, I never cared about what I wanted as long as it kept him happy & shut him up.
WORDS OF WISDOM !!!👏👏👏👏
Excellent, Jill. Right on!!
Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and experiences.
😱 OMG all of the above. My husband is a malignant narcissist and he ruined my life. I'm trying so hard to get him out of my head.
That “teaching human decency to a narcissist” is what stopped me from leaving. Until I healed some childhood trauma with EMDR/CBT therapies, I mistakenly believed that his childhood trauma included not learning “human decency”. How wrong I was! Three years of therapy within the relationship helped me to become clear about my values and I was able to LEAVE.
Now out of the relationship for almost 5.5 years, I continue to make healing my top priority, with more EMDR/CBT, as the pandemic and enforced isolation triggered deeper issues.
Thank you Jill and spot on.
I waisted 6 years of my life dealing with a narcissist. I didn’t know why until I learned about abuse on the internet. I’m glad I was able to escape and then learn that I was not at fault
What you state here is a very accurate description of my dad and older brother. Thank you for the insight. For years, I thought I was crazy.
Hi Jill, thank you for reminding me about what I forgot, and got away from with my life... You look fantastic, beautiful. Huggs😍
This is not funny, but the way you delivered this is so fun. :). I really like your interior design. the pinks, rose colors, all the shades together especially the green plant.. But what is the wonderful wood lattice piece? is it a light lantern or a drum?. your dress with your back drop is pretty:).. This is a good video to store in our brain.
Hello 👋
How are you doing today ?
Jill your looking very happy today. Maybe your having a great day👍
Narcissist watch others to make a profit is sick 😷
Oh yes they do and illegally.
Yep. That's called "organized gangstalking".....
@@reesedaniel5835 yes! 💯🙏
When you come across them they'll always find fault with you.."oh there's a leaf on your hair"....you forgot to button this button....oh there's a few hairs on your collar.
I say to them....leave it, I like it that way!
YES. OMG, my ex always did this both to me and our four children. The number of times he said, "Good job, BUT.....", or "Well, sure, but it would have been better if....".
LR That's exactly right and I endured criticism from my highly narcissistic younger sister for many years in regard to my clothes, my hair and my weight etc!
It happened with what I did or said as well though, which ended up causing immense harm to my mental and physical health.
Luckily, she lives in another country and I've reached the stage where I'm not able to have much contact, due to being burnt out. ❤
Thank you 💕🇺🇲
Wow. Enlightened targe!
I expiercened the info you presented.
I learned to take notes and what response to take.
I was heading to work by bus. The narcicist army was out n about. The bus took so long. Tryimg to get me fired. Ok. I remembered what took place last time. So I walked to another stop and I looked the bus was purposely waiting behind a large vehicle like last time.
Enlighted target the journal notes helped me because I refreshed myself with responding to Vile mentality.
No more 6 months , 1 month, holding on. I moved on from the job.
No more Malignant Narcissist Abuse.
Thank you For the information
Stat Blessed
Many of the flags are hallmarks of the covert or vulnerable narcissist.
No adjectives needed. They're all narcissists.
My ex-girlfriend had created drama between people. She had mentioned several times that she wasn’t concerned with her neighbors and she wanted to stay out of their drama. She then shared personal information that one gave her and told the other. Very toxic.
My ex’s appearance with the neighborhood Women and Soccer Moms was a charade.
I think the people who knew her better were wise. She had several friends which bridges were burned. There’s always 2 sides to a story.
Too vague and ambiguous. Toxic for sure.
I need to take your class. Met narc, he chased me for 6 years, we married, 21 years, divorced for 5 years and he still won't leave me alone. He's a covert, dark triad, malignant narc who specializes in gaslighting and I was a victim of trauma bonding. I'm a survivor. He abused me mentally, physically, psychology, verbally, emotionally, socially, financially. Stalking, sleep deprivation, word salad, accusations, projection, diversion, mind fucking, threats, distraction, cheating, stealing, lying, manipulating, drama, chaos, interrogation techniques, used, abused. My brain is like jello from dealing with him. My body is sick. He's amping up his game. I want to move, I have to if I want anything resembling peace. He wants to move with me. No way. He says he'll move across the street. He's a special kind of twisted. He wants me dead. Told me how he's gonna do it. Can you help me. I don't want to live my last few remaining years, months in this hell.
Yup. My husband's covert Narc mother was like this. When my oldest child got married and was preparing for the wedding, her covert Narc grandmother was angry that there was attention on my oldest child who was MIL's Scapegoat grandchild so she punished her by volunteering to buy the cake arrangement and then waiting till a week before the wedding to very angrily call up my daughter and spit out at her that she, the bride, was going to have to pick up the cake herSELF! MIL had a very nasty was of speaking to people with an ugly voice damaged by decades of smoking and drinking. MIL was visibly irritated at the wedding and was constantly trying to stir crap up: telling my husband that we needed to "get in there" and make sure we weren't left out of the wedding photos because she was sure it would happen since the photographer was a friend of the groom's family. Then she rushed off early to the reception venue and like an idiot missed out on the adorable pictures of the multi-generational women at the wedding. MIL and Golden Child SIL (Golden Grandchildren didn't attend the wedding) left early. It really felt like the usual: they couldn't be bothered with us so we weren't important enough to stay.
MIL never bothered to go to my kids' activities with the exception of one spring dance recital after MIL got her cancer diagnosis. So the theme continued.
MIL also got jealous of my second youngest daughter when my daughter earned a solo in her tiny dance school's Nutcracker show. MIL pretended to be very excited about the show, then waited till a week before the performance to grab my daughter by the upper arm and give the this half baked sob story that MIL was just worn out because of her cancer treatments so she wasn't able to attend the Nutcracker show. She had to go on a cruise instead. What the actual heck??
After this, MIL intensified the mind games with my child and picked on her every time she thought I wasn't looking.
Then some years later,
Jay Kay I really feel for your daughter and want to mention that you missed out what happened some years later.
I've loved reading and writing since I was a child and often write long comments too. I also like to read other people's long ones, when I have time, or even when I don't have it, which is causing issues in my life. Lol.
I'm aware that the counsellors etc definitely don't have enough time to read every comment, let alone respond, especially with late ones, which is often the case with mine.
It's okay if you don't get to add the rest though, as I owe so many replies to people anyway! I keep thinking that I'll catch up, yet great new videos, like this one, appear and things keep happening in real life. 😊
you need to get those spots on your decolletage checked with your fair skin, hair and eyes. It's concerning as viewer. I have similar skin type and lived on the beach for 25 years. I hope everything is good and thanks for the great content!
CapeKell Hopefully, the lovely Jill Wise is aleady doing that and appreciates your concern though.
I've heard of people being assisted in that regard, due to followers, or even doctors, noticing suspicious spots etc, which is one of the postitive aspects of social media!
I'm in my 60s now and used to bake myself in the sun when I was young, as it was viewed as okay, hence why I've ended up with a few skin cancers. I'm thinking that there will be more in the future too. ❤
Hello Angel, Red is your color.🤩🤩🧐
💯💯🙏💪
Who is the young blond woman at the beginning of the videos? She sorta looks like you from twenty or more years ago.
The music was loud, your voice too low. Your microphone probably too far.
I could hear her fine on my iPad and I’m 71 years old. Turn up your volume.
El pacho I had no problem with it at all either! 😊
@@cyndigooch1162 it’s called creative criticism. I stand by my comment.❤️
🕵️♂️🧠