Trump Teases Release Of "Tantalizing" First Phone Call With Ukraine

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  • čas přidán 11. 11. 2019
  • In an effort to distract everyone from the details of his "perfect" call with Ukraine's leader on July 25th, President Trump has signaled that he will release the transcript of an earlier call. #Monologue #Impeachment #Colbert
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Komentáře • 2,5K

  • @mroceans8336
    @mroceans8336 Před 4 lety +362

    Release your taxes. Or at least pay them.

    • @brandonbenjamin9452
      @brandonbenjamin9452 Před 4 lety +6

      Most Hated agreed

    • @shaneiapearson6977
      @shaneiapearson6977 Před 4 lety +10

      Them taxes will send him straight to jail
      .DO NOT PASS GO

    • @daleludtke7803
      @daleludtke7803 Před 4 lety +10

      @Craig G yep, why do you think he "moved to Florida." They have very relaxed laws on property ownership for bankruptcies. It might let him save some of his assets when NY takes him for decades worth of tax avoidance.

    • @xmillion1704
      @xmillion1704 Před 4 lety +6

      @Craig G - Actually, my understanding is that the federal judge basically told him "pfft, get outta here, take it up with the New York State court."

    • @Gottenhimfella
      @Gottenhimfella Před 4 lety +3

      Be reasonable. He owes hundreds of millions, possibly more. What do you think he is, made of money?

  • @WildwoodClaire1
    @WildwoodClaire1 Před 4 lety +42

    The ad for 1-900-Quid Pro OHHHH! is brilliant. The writers who came up with that deserve a raise.

  • @southsider9638
    @southsider9638 Před 4 lety +66

    The word "tantalizing" coming out of DT's mouth makes me feel violated and I want to lodge a complaint.

  • @karengummer6657
    @karengummer6657 Před 4 lety +90

    1-900- Quid-Pro-Ohh is probably the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. Thank you for the laughter

  • @BRP42
    @BRP42 Před 4 lety +643

    “Lindsay Graham’s balls : he’s not using them”. Classic!

    • @ellamone9998
      @ellamone9998 Před 4 lety +8

      They look oddly the same as Trump's orange peachy tingey ones.

    • @jeannie3684
      @jeannie3684 Před 4 lety +5

      “Little tiny mushroom” muncher, Lindsey doesn’t need his little tiny balls. Stumps has neutered all his boyfriends, he can’t handle the competition.

    • @jeannie3684
      @jeannie3684 Před 4 lety +2

      @Chris Thompson Actually, please do!

    • @OldieBones
      @OldieBones Před 4 lety +5

      Soon to be the #1-selling Christmas gift.

    • @alfonsonuno
      @alfonsonuno Před 4 lety +1

      Classic!! Ever taste of victory!

  • @thegreatwalrus153
    @thegreatwalrus153 Před 4 lety +380

    "We would get slaughtered if we pick Trump as our nominee and we will deserved it."
    ---- Lindsey Graham

    • @daleludtke7803
      @daleludtke7803 Před 4 lety +33

      "If we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed … and we will deserve it” was the actual quote... but yes, he sure has flipped a bit on that one hasn't he?

    • @thegreatwalrus153
      @thegreatwalrus153 Před 4 lety +3

      @@daleludtke7803 sorry will edit was writing from memory

    • @xmillion1704
      @xmillion1704 Před 4 lety +4

      Where did he leave that suicide note?

    • @thegreatwalrus153
      @thegreatwalrus153 Před 4 lety +3

      @@xmillion1704 twitter May 3 2016

    • @xmillion1704
      @xmillion1704 Před 4 lety +2

      @@thegreatwalrus153 - Cool, thanks. The question was rhetorical, I was just using it to float the concept of it being his suicide note.

  • @eponymousIme
    @eponymousIme Před 4 lety +194

    "Lindsey Graham's balls. He's not using them these days." Fell off my chair laughing.

  • @conniecrawford5231
    @conniecrawford5231 Před 4 lety +98

    Who has ever heard of a phone call being described as “ perfect”? What an odd choice of words !

    • @steve8551
      @steve8551 Před 4 lety +12

      I've been saying that ever since he first came out with that claim. In my whole life, I've never heard ANYONE describe a phone call as "perfect."

    • @jorgelujan9942
      @jorgelujan9942 Před 4 lety +9

      It was THE ideal call: not too short but not too long, funny but also heartfelt, very at ease while also staying on topic concisely, witty but also engaging of the listener.
      Communications experts will be studying the perfect subtleties of this call for centuries.
      It will be known only as "The Call" ™️

    • @steve8551
      @steve8551 Před 4 lety +3

      Jorge Lujan, I never looked at it this way. Maybe it really was perfect. Thanks for opening my eyes. 😁

    • @ajthegoat75
      @ajthegoat75 Před 4 lety +2

      Jorge Lujan I keep telling y’all if y’all keep doing this to old ppl y’all in trouble. Please put warning ⚠️ signs on your comments, at least for me so I’ll know to put my Depends on. Damn I was ready to go to bed now I gotta take another freaking shower 🚿. I was just going over your comment seeing how it sounded in his dumb azz voice laughed so hard I cried laughing 😂 damn I should’ve had on my Depends. Y’all and that darn Colbert 😂 😂 😆 😆 on Point.

    • @samsmythe937
      @samsmythe937 Před 4 lety +2

      @@jorgelujan9942 Are you suggesting the tRump moron is capable of all that? I know you're not, lol

  • @terrasilvershade5678
    @terrasilvershade5678 Před 4 lety +713

    “There’s not anything different said in that phone call than what the president says everyday.” Soooooo because he commits crimes everyday and admits to them everyday that’s fine???

    • @timothydavis9181
      @timothydavis9181 Před 4 lety +19

      For Republicans it is

    • @CloudsGirl7
      @CloudsGirl7 Před 4 lety +4

      No it's not, Terra. No it's not.

    • @Vimalth
      @Vimalth Před 4 lety +2

      Well if he says so? Who are we to doubt a Republican president?

    • @bugeye8749
      @bugeye8749 Před 4 lety +2

      Yes. Because he’s *white*

    • @babyteano1977
      @babyteano1977 Před 4 lety +2

      I guess for the Republicans it does.

  • @Paradox_006
    @Paradox_006 Před 4 lety +26

    Thank GOODNESS for Colbert! 💈

  • @ampleoloruntogbe1434
    @ampleoloruntogbe1434 Před 4 lety +34

    If this was last week tonight, John Oliver’s team would make 1-900-QUID-PRO-OOOOH into a real line you can call into 😂😂

  • @Montesama314
    @Montesama314 Před 4 lety +151

    "Nothing was done wrong" is a poor choice of words that implies "the crime went off without a hitch."

    • @sneeblads
      @sneeblads Před 4 lety +9

      right normally it'd be, "nothing wrong was done"

  • @marketbuy
    @marketbuy Před 4 lety +54

    LOCK HIM UP!

  • @kieragirl
    @kieragirl Před 4 lety +44

    Omg. There are peaches on that tree. Brilliant.

    • @milomirjukanovic3248
      @milomirjukanovic3248 Před 4 lety +4

      Kieragirl i wouldn't notice if I wasn't scrolling through comments;) tnx

    • @kieragirl
      @kieragirl Před 4 lety +5

      Milomir Jukanovic Those golden Graham Balls are distracting.

    • @xmillion1704
      @xmillion1704 Před 4 lety +4

      @@kieragirl - They were going to feature trumpty's balls too, but they're slapping Graham's chin.

  • @maccyknife1
    @maccyknife1 Před 4 lety +57

    Lennie in "Of Mice and Men" had an innocent state of mind...

    • @danbuckig4564
      @danbuckig4564 Před 4 lety +1

      Trump isn't retarded, just corrupt and stupid. at least Lenny had an excuse

  • @annedavis3340
    @annedavis3340 Před 4 lety +73

    "The smart people are clapping" sounds like a threat.

    • @tomgreen1779
      @tomgreen1779 Před 4 lety +4

      You better pretend you like it! I bet he's sad that before.

    • @danstrayer111
      @danstrayer111 Před 4 lety +3

      just what Stalin would say

    • @veganperson
      @veganperson Před 4 lety

      I think he said that so people would clap, after all they don’t want to be dumb.

  • @glassturf5584
    @glassturf5584 Před 4 lety +43

    🎵Oh! Impeachment Tree!
    Oh! Impeachment Tree!
    How lovely were your phone call?🎵

  • @gohstdog23
    @gohstdog23 Před 4 lety +73

    " only the smart people are clapping " wtf!?🤣😂🤣 he actually has to insult them into clapping for him !?! I cant imagine Obama ever having to do that ,WOW!! 😂✊🏼 this guy is a real clown.

    • @MsElla415
      @MsElla415 Před 4 lety +1

      We need more reaction buttons on FB

  • @DBee-ee7tz
    @DBee-ee7tz Před 4 lety +26

    "Lindsey Graham's balls" on the impeachment tree ..."he's not using them these days" DED!😂
    ACTUAL SIZE 🤣

  • @KharisB.A
    @KharisB.A Před 4 lety +75

    "The smart people are clapping???" What an insult 😳😳😳😳😳.

    • @toddpunter6190
      @toddpunter6190 Před 4 lety +3

      Yeah heads as empty buckets

    • @riverraisin1
      @riverraisin1 Před 4 lety +4

      I think he meant the ones not clapping will be either fired or wearing cement shoes.

    • @ivonedefigueiredo9301
      @ivonedefigueiredo9301 Před 4 lety

      Grace B. Addey Yes, and “only the dumb people are speaking”.

    • @samsmythe937
      @samsmythe937 Před 4 lety +1

      And the dumb ones are standing behind the podium with the clap!

  • @wisetrollman
    @wisetrollman Před 4 lety +1143

    “In order to continue being the most transparent president in history”
    >still won’t release taxes

    • @zarakikon6352
      @zarakikon6352 Před 4 lety +28

      I was thinking the exact same thing as soon as I heard him say that ! 😊👍

    • @cmdraftbrn
      @cmdraftbrn Před 4 lety +18

      he'd release them. but he's under audit. /s

    • @hippy_flippin
      @hippy_flippin Před 4 lety +13

      The hits keep on comin'😅

    • @lenthomas4685
      @lenthomas4685 Před 4 lety +31

      @@cmdraftbrn I also never understood that lie. Why would someone spend money on lawyers to not have his taxes publicized if the problem was the IRS?

    • @MiguelGarcia-ft9gj
      @MiguelGarcia-ft9gj Před 4 lety +17

      I laughed so hard, I woke everybody up in my house!!

  • @marcemson1121
    @marcemson1121 Před 4 lety +315

    Imagine if Trump still had been a democrat when he got sworn into the office...
    The GOP would have been all over him, crying for his impeachment in a matter of "seconds".
    Think about that.

    • @MiguelGarcia-ft9gj
      @MiguelGarcia-ft9gj Před 4 lety +10

      Lindsey Graham’s balls would’ve been too big for that Christmas tree and we’d be hearing all about restoring honor and integrity to the office. What a hypocrite!

    • @ghasemahmadi3616
      @ghasemahmadi3616 Před 4 lety +11

      Nanoseconds not seconds

    • @joannajamerson35
      @joannajamerson35 Před 4 lety +8

      Exactly

    • @ADerpyReality
      @ADerpyReality Před 4 lety +1

      If DNC screws USA and puts Joe Biden in or Kamala Harris... They will.

    • @lottasunshine1325
      @lottasunshine1325 Před 4 lety +7

      He never would have been elected if he ran as a Democrat. Just my opinion.

  • @samjoseph1930
    @samjoseph1930 Před 4 lety +18

    Stephen Cold beer. Refreshingly entertaining and enlightening.

  • @edturner3437
    @edturner3437 Před 4 lety +155

    trump is the most insecure person I've ever seen.

    • @mortalclown3812
      @mortalclown3812 Před 4 lety +7

      Ed Turner It's to the degree that it could be - and undoubtedly will be - in psychology texts for many generations to come: Provided our planet survives his like.

    • @jakeryker546
      @jakeryker546 Před 4 lety

      Definitely unlike the delusional lady who had a 'Madam President' book ready 😆

    • @stevenbryant4718
      @stevenbryant4718 Před 4 lety +3

      I work with one of his supporters..... you're only seeing the tip of the iceberg. Characterising as insecure is a kind understatement!

    • @edturner3437
      @edturner3437 Před 4 lety +4

      @@jakeryker546 can any of you trumpers stop deflecting for one damm second? I'm talking about trump not hillary who by the way has nothing to do with nor is responsible for the behavior of this sick old man currently in the white house. But know what, go ahead ignore his behavior. You always have and always will. Thanks for making America far less great.

    • @jennifermoriarty2188
      @jennifermoriarty2188 Před 4 lety

      Can't be easy being the potus

  • @Peter_S_
    @Peter_S_ Před 4 lety +141

    Merry Schiffmas and a Happy Blue Year, Patriots !!! 🎅

  • @iliketurtles6777
    @iliketurtles6777 Před 4 lety +53

    That hotline skit had me rolling on the floor. Seriously the funniest shit I’ve seen in some time. Thank you good sir.

  • @HappyDad408
    @HappyDad408 Před 4 lety +77

    “And only the dumb people are giving the speech”
    This is why you come here , good comedy and actual politics nowadays. Thank you Late Show

  • @Annie-zd6rn
    @Annie-zd6rn Před 4 lety +18

    The ornaments should be orange's and peaches. There should've been some prison stripes on it.

  • @kellykurenoff1692
    @kellykurenoff1692 Před 4 lety +13

    Omg that “tantalizing” phone call was awesome!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @hellcat1988
    @hellcat1988 Před 4 lety +37

    You could see that he had to stop and remind himself not to use two hands when drinking.

    • @frequencydecline5250
      @frequencydecline5250 Před 4 lety +3

      lol yeah you really could see the exact moment that crossed his mind.

    • @jonmassey8124
      @jonmassey8124 Před 4 lety +2

      Yeah, I noticed that.. as soon as he reached down I was thinking is he gunna use his other hand as we've seen in the past to 'stabilise' the glass.. and he did LOL! Then he remembers only kids in Pampers need to use both hands to drink and removes the steadying hand..

    • @rasmie8858
      @rasmie8858 Před 4 lety

      The glass is also super small to make sure lmao

    • @kaylapatterson8695
      @kaylapatterson8695 Před 4 lety

      I noticed that too. You could tell he really wanted to.

  • @mori1bund
    @mori1bund Před 4 lety +39

    I've heard Jeffrey Dahmer had an "innocent state of mind" too.

  • @juschu85
    @juschu85 Před 4 lety +132

    "Look at the first phone call. It was perfect"
    just like
    "Officer, look at this video. It was taken when I met the victim 10 days before he was murdered and it clearly shows how I'm not murdering him."

    • @Bill_Garthright
      @Bill_Garthright Před 4 lety +12

      Yup. I'm definitely not guilty of robbing that bank either, because here's a picture of me in the bank earlier, when I _wasn't_ robbing it. :)

    • @Jauvajs
      @Jauvajs Před 4 lety

      And another one, who only read the headlines and not the actual trannscript.

    • @juschu85
      @juschu85 Před 4 lety +7

      ​@@Jauvajs How should I read the actual transcript? It's on a classified government server. I did only read the edited transcript Trump himself released. That transcript alone is "only" a little bit fishy. Asking for a favor right after Zelensky was talking about buying more Javelins isn't hard evidence for anything but it already points in a certain direction.
      But how much worth is evidence that was provided by the suspect himself? It's basically like if someone who is accused of murder is showing the judge a knife, says that this is the murder weapon and there are no fingerprints or DNA traces from him on it. Any evidence provided by a suspect himself can't exonerate the suspect if the suspect had the possibility to manipulate the evidence.
      But while the transcript, even the version Trump himself released, is helpful to impeach him, we don't even need it anymore. After all those testimonies that accuse Trump of doing exactly what the whistleblower said he did, the transcript and even the whistleblower himself are completely irrelevant.
      And as long as there isn't any Fox News interview in which those witnesses say that they didn't say in the hearing what the press is claiming they said, I will assume what the press is reporting about the substance of those testimonies is correct. And that doesn't make Trump look good.
      I mean if the press would say you said A but you know you said B, you wouldn't just sit there and do nothing. Especially if you know the president of the United States has your back and there is a national news channel that would love to do an interview with you if you want to support the president. But I don't see that happening.

    • @paradisepipeco
      @paradisepipeco Před 4 lety +4

      I don't see how you can dispute the statement of our Great Orange Leader that it was a perfect call.
      He dialed the correct number, he didn't hold the phone upside down, and he never once dropped the telemaphone machine on his toe. Perfectamundo, mon frère.

    • @paradisepipeco
      @paradisepipeco Před 4 lety +3

      ​@@juschu85 I think it proves how Trump is a caring individual for providing what evidence he has. Yes, he did not supply the complete transcript of the phone call, after editing out all the good parts, but he did provide some of it free to us at absolutely no charge. And he has repeatedly admitted to some of his crimes openly on TV in front of his hellimacopter.
      The glass is half full. Please do not urinate into the fog and be a pissamist.
      Please do not throw out the baby, the dog, and the parakeet with the bathwater.
      Trump by his own royal decree is a very stable genius** (see disclaimer below). After all, ninety-eleven bazillion red hat lemmings can't be wrong. And please, I beseech thee, do not be so snooty by attacking so rudely our mighty whitey Commander In Cheese.
      In support of my above asstoot remarks, I submit the following reprint of my previous heartfelt comment:
      ~ ~ ~
      You liberals miss the point. Quid pro quo is irrelevant.
      It is Latin, a dead language, and nobody speaks Latin anymore anywhere in the world outside the Catholic Church. So therefore, unless it can be proven beyond doubt that Mulvaney, Trump, and Zelensky are all Catholic, this obviously does not apply. And "Quid" is slang for an English pound. Try spending that at your local liquor store and see how far you get. A "Quid" may be good in Great Britain, but don't forget that we separated from them a long time ago. Stop picking on our Great Leader. He knows what is best for us. He is building the wall in Colorado to protect us, one and all.
      Remember where your irresponsible wild allegations come from. Wild allegations come from wild alligators, everybody knows that. What do reptiles know, anyway? Trump had to drain the swamp to catch all those 'gators and snakes for the moat, so of course the 'gators are unhappy and hate our beloved president. Walt Kelly taught us they were happy in their infested swamp, where Hillary and Obama left them to run amok like animals. It takes a long moat along the wall to protect us from those bad hombres, and that takes a lot of 'gators and snakes. Thankfully, dem dare ’gators be hungry, and dey love dem some Mexican cuisine. (Es muy caliente en la boca.)
      Stop the witch hunt. Witches are girls, and if you demon rats and mice would come out of your secret basement cave headquarters, you'd see our Commander in Cheese is no girl. Anyone can see that. He doesn't even like girls. He grabs them by the hoo-hah to protect us and keep them away. You will understand when the aliens come and you do not have your tinfoil lined MAGA hat. Then you will understand what MAGA really means, "Make Aliens Go Away".
      Like I said in the beginning, Quid pro quo is irrelevant, and that is the symbol of our party, and you aren't invited. Elevants belong in the circus, and we are doing our best to create a complete circus all true Americans can enjoy.
      However, due to circus-dances beyond our control, some heffalumps is invisible, and that is why we cannot see the elevant in the room.
      ~ ~ ~
      ** In the spirit of clarity and full disclosure, I am compelled to point out that the term "Stable Genius" does not imply sanity . . . It merely means that the Trumpus Orangatanus sleeps with the horses out in the stable, and is allegedly smarter than the rest of the horses.
      What I want to know is what happened to the front part of the horse.
      For further study:
      czcams.com/video/k-LTRwZb35A/video.html
      .

  • @yankeeladee02
    @yankeeladee02 Před 4 lety +192

    Stephen is PERFECT 🤩

    • @koek1122
      @koek1122 Před 4 lety +6

      He really is. I went to this taping this afternoon and he was a delight. Came in to greet the audience, had a little q&a with us.. he was exciting and pumped and gave us all a feeling showbusiness isn't just stuffed with arrogant pricks.

    • @devernpinnock8176
      @devernpinnock8176 Před 4 lety +1

      Stephen Colbert for pres 2020

    • @fatmaramadan6928
      @fatmaramadan6928 Před 4 lety +1

      Yankeeladee02
      Stephen is perfect...... unlike the phone call to Ukraine.

  • @opietaylor7649
    @opietaylor7649 Před 4 lety +147

    This program is something special. Love it

  • @howardkerr8174
    @howardkerr8174 Před 4 lety +5

    I was feeling quite depressed, thank you Mr Colbert for the pick-me-up.

  • @Wh0isTh3D0ct0r
    @Wh0isTh3D0ct0r Před 4 lety +388

    "Nothing was done wrong." -Every criminal ever

    • @censusgary
      @censusgary Před 4 lety +10

      When I was a paralegal, I had to get information about clients’ legal history, and if someone had, say, a conviction for armed robbery, that person would almost always say. “But that isn’t a problem.” Maybe not for you, buddy, but ...

    • @oobaka1967
      @oobaka1967 Před 4 lety +12

      trump's way of saying "I didn't do nothing.
      Those aren't my drugs. I was just holding them for a friend"

    • @nasalegoboy
      @nasalegoboy Před 4 lety +3

      "Shawshank is full of people who didn't do it"

    • @paradisepipeco
      @paradisepipeco Před 4 lety +7

      No collusion.
      It was a perfect call.
      There was no quid pro quo.
      I did not have sex with that woman.
      I am not a crook.
      I didn't see the stop sign.
      I didn't know it was loaded.
      It meant nothing to me, Honey.
      I thought she was eighteen, Your Honor.
      (etc. ad nauseam)

    • @Jauvajs
      @Jauvajs Před 4 lety

      Seriously you guys are just like anti-vaxxers, ignore 90% of evidence pointing to Trump being right, but there is one source that agrees with me so I only listen to that.
      I am not Trump supporter, just a guy from Europe sick of this ridiculous witch hunt.

  • @thesmileyeffect
    @thesmileyeffect Před 4 lety +31

    The tree is perfect!

  • @daveedwards6653
    @daveedwards6653 Před 4 lety +53

    "Iwas waiting for that.. Only the Smart People clapped...only the smart ones.."
    Wow...

    • @ultonian63
      @ultonian63 Před 4 lety +12

      Dave Edwards yep, what an utter asshat.

    • @xmillion1704
      @xmillion1704 Před 4 lety +7

      That's what he was saying? To me it sounded like he was screaming, "I'm so fucking insecure!!!!!!" Hmmm that's weird.

    • @ArcaJ
      @ArcaJ Před 4 lety +4

      Literally a grade school mentality. I mean, I heard that joke IN GRADE SCHOOL.

  • @proud2bpagan
    @proud2bpagan Před 4 lety +14

    "He had an innocent state of mind"---when you start using Forrest Gump as a defense,you've gone too far.

  • @jacobd1984
    @jacobd1984 Před 4 lety +116

    Like everything involving Trump, this “tease” is going to be all talk and no satisfaction. Just ask Melania.

    • @realzachfluke1
      @realzachfluke1 Před 4 lety +2

      Jacob Davenport 😂🤣

    • @KingBobXVI
      @KingBobXVI Před 4 lety

      He'll probably release the transcript when he releases his tax returns.

    • @MrBlaktoe
      @MrBlaktoe Před 4 lety +1

      @Robert Garcia Kinda sad for her. Sure she never gets hers, except by her own hand. Careful what you wish for I guess...

    • @damiansaucedo9951
      @damiansaucedo9951 Před 4 lety

      Ayoooo

  • @briankoski2532
    @briankoski2532 Před 4 lety +52

    I tried calling, ..
    1-900-QUID-PRO-OHHH
    It's a busy signal.

    • @timothydavis9181
      @timothydavis9181 Před 4 lety +1

      Instead of Republicans paying people to flood the phone lines again, they are doing it themselves

    • @patriciaevins6267
      @patriciaevins6267 Před 4 lety

      @Brian Koski, hahahaha....good one !

    • @tomt6963
      @tomt6963 Před 4 lety +1

      But it was a perfect call anyway.

  • @Vanadisphoto
    @Vanadisphoto Před 4 lety +46

    *_It's beginning to look a lot like Impechmas, every where I go..._*

    • @virgo-in-cyn1537
      @virgo-in-cyn1537 Před 4 lety +1

      Michel F It’s beginning to look a lot like Schiffmas!! MERRY SCHIFFMAS EVE everyone! 🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

  • @Admiralty86
    @Admiralty86 Před 4 lety +2

    The phone hotline segment was hilarious!

  • @wilmafistfit4788
    @wilmafistfit4788 Před 4 lety +21

    We got the “quid pro snow”

  • @georgebolter1696
    @georgebolter1696 Před 4 lety +26

    The tree was very clever, great job studio staff!! 😎

  • @TheReal008Zulu
    @TheReal008Zulu Před 4 lety +58

    That bulletproof glass he hid behind for the Veteran's Day speech is the only thing transparent about him.

  • @tommyt1971
    @tommyt1971 Před 4 lety +84

    Yeah, “most transparent President in history”. As in clear, as in zero substance.

  • @nicholassmith7984
    @nicholassmith7984 Před 4 lety +27

    Does anyone pay attention to his 'big strong men crying' stories anymore?

  • @WattWireNet
    @WattWireNet Před 4 lety +469

    When he says "The most transparent president ever.", he must see himself as lobotomized jellyfish.

    • @sanctifiedsuccubus2562
      @sanctifiedsuccubus2562 Před 4 lety +9

      Jellyfish don't really have brains... so that's kinda redundant. But I 100% agree with your sentiment XD

    • @Ratboy2004
      @Ratboy2004 Před 4 lety

      Just like Lady Macbeth didn't kill the king..

    • @Duhbella
      @Duhbella Před 4 lety +4

      @@sanctifiedsuccubus2562 yet.. it's somehow still accurate

    • @jamesproimos
      @jamesproimos Před 4 lety +5

      The claim centers around the fact that, although he constantly lies, the lies he tells are so easily proven false that nobody can be fooled (unwillingly) by them. The fact that his dishonesty is so blatant technically makes it transparency because everyone can "see right through him".

    • @Trottelheimer
      @Trottelheimer Před 4 lety +6

      You can certainly see straight through him. I pity the fools who believe "he plays N-dimensional chess". Nope, he's a straight up simpleton; there's zero shrewdness, only a perpetual trumpster-fire fuelled by pure idiocy.

  • @almamyers4
    @almamyers4 Před 4 lety +22

    I am so tired!! But I have been waiting to watch this.

  • @richardthomas9026
    @richardthomas9026 Před 4 lety +5

    Side note: john Baptist is crafty on the ivory. Frfr

  • @AmigoRigo
    @AmigoRigo Před 4 lety +60

    Stephen: the phone call was very... revealing
    Trump: there is another

  • @Logai74
    @Logai74 Před 4 lety +16

    As soon as he said strong people i knew that he would say that they were crying! Old classic!

  • @mathiastwp
    @mathiastwp Před 4 lety +70

    "Arctic blast" or Tuesday as we call it in Norway.

    • @chiefjetsonofflare5329
      @chiefjetsonofflare5329 Před 4 lety +4

      Mathias T.W.P keep warm from 🇨🇦Canada we know what you mean🥶🥶🥶

    • @ariandynas
      @ariandynas Před 4 lety +4

      *Alaska clears its throat meaningfully* Achem.

    • @mathiastwp
      @mathiastwp Před 4 lety +1

      @@chiefjetsonofflare5329 Didn't get that bad here, just around 0*C; only briefly had to get the fireplace going. It had amazing overnight survival - which was nice, save a little on matches.

    • @ariandynas
      @ariandynas Před 4 lety +1

      @Laura P. Vanderbooben Uh, thanks?

  • @emmajones9975
    @emmajones9975 Před 4 lety +7

    "And only the dumb ppl. r giving the speech" . To say this is priceless is an understatement.

  • @gnomevoyeur
    @gnomevoyeur Před 4 lety +7

    You can hear Eric's heart breaking (again) when he reads that line about the first being the most important.

  • @blipmachine
    @blipmachine Před 4 lety +259

    Don't mind me, I'm just selling popcorn for the series finale of the trump presidency.
    🍿🍿🍿

    • @GodzillaMonsters8
      @GodzillaMonsters8 Před 4 lety +5

      I’ll take one, how much?

    • @blipmachine
      @blipmachine Před 4 lety +3

      @@GodzillaMonsters8 1 view on the vid + 1 like / reply on this comment. Here you go, enjoy: 🍿

    • @gladtravis
      @gladtravis Před 4 lety +2

      Hate to be Negative Nancy but it's not even looking like a single House Republican will vote for impeach, to say nothing of Senators (aka jurors) who have been openly making out with the defendant (President Mar-A-Lardass) in public. Our democracy had a good ride. It's about to executed when Republicans let this shitstain off the hook.

    • @kaivickers166
      @kaivickers166 Před 4 lety +2

      Blip Machine - I’ll take one. Don’t skimp on the butter, salt and Thorazine.

    • @erikeggenbakstad
      @erikeggenbakstad Před 4 lety

      Business is good I reckon 😁😁😁

  • @beckv8526
    @beckv8526 Před 4 lety +1

    I will be glued to the tv today! I haven't felt this good in 3 years!

  • @corytc5095
    @corytc5095 Před 4 lety +189

    Trump if your" SoOoOOooO transparent" where are your tax returns? Just curious

    • @BuzryHaproMandalorianHunter
      @BuzryHaproMandalorianHunter Před 4 lety

      msalanie the Court of Appeals threw out his request and sided with the other Courts request.

    • @kellen5545
      @kellen5545 Před 4 lety +5

      And the other phones to other world leaders that his admin put on the National security server. I would love to hear what he talked to Putin about.

    • @DarthEquus
      @DarthEquus Před 4 lety +10

      He's transparent only in the sense that we can see through him and his lies.

    • @realzachfluke1
      @realzachfluke1 Před 4 lety

      msalanie I wouldn’t say any day now. I’d say it would be sometime next year if the Supreme Court decides to throw out the case, and even further into next year if they do decide to hear the case.

    • @thehusketeers4319
      @thehusketeers4319 Před 4 lety +1

      His taxes are none of your business

  • @Muritaipet
    @Muritaipet Před 4 lety +13

    OK. At 7.02 the "Quid Pro Ohh" advert really really needs to run on TV as a real thing

  • @ChandlerSomborac
    @ChandlerSomborac Před 4 lety +6

    I can always count on Colbert to lift up my spirits after a hard night's work.

  • @screamingphoenix8113
    @screamingphoenix8113 Před 4 lety +9

    "The smart people are clapping. Isn't that right my smart little seals! Only the smart seals get the fish".

  • @Baekstrom
    @Baekstrom Před 4 lety +5

    I lost it on that ending! The sound it makes when I'm laughing is like an old fashioned car horn. My neighbors must think I am crying my heart out or something, but it is actually just laughter.

  • @DarthShande
    @DarthShande Před 4 lety +22

    By releasing does he mean having his staff release a heavily edited summary?

    • @rasmie8858
      @rasmie8858 Před 4 lety +2

      At least it'd be easy to find out--if it makes sense, it's edited

    • @Dori744
      @Dori744 Před 4 lety

      @@rasmie8858 underrated comment

    • @chrissiek8706
      @chrissiek8706 Před 4 lety

      Will we ever get to hear/see about 20min that was left out?..

  • @wtfisthishandlebullshit
    @wtfisthishandlebullshit Před 4 lety +32

    Happy Impeachment Eve!!

  • @l.a.gothro3999
    @l.a.gothro3999 Před 4 lety +3

    A phrase I well remember from my childhood: "But that doesn't make it right!"

  • @PretenderCS
    @PretenderCS Před 4 lety +24

    8:42 he is turning into Jeb Bush. That was a "please clap" moment.
    and 8:52 "...by a very *white* margin."

  • @AngryKittens
    @AngryKittens Před 4 lety +85

    "We repealed the Waters of the United States law, and almost everyone was crying because they were so happy that their rivers and lakes could now be used as dumping grounds for toxic chemicals and be drained dry to irrigate industrial farms."

    • @ArcaJ
      @ArcaJ Před 4 lety +2

      WINNING?

    • @Asher_Tye
      @Asher_Tye Před 4 lety +2

      But people will go right on thinking this doesn't affect them, that this is just a repeal on a regulation that cost money.

    • @AngryKittens
      @AngryKittens Před 4 lety +1

      @Lynette Agueda Similar to how they banned NASA from saying "climate change". Or banned the CDC from ever funding ANY research into gun violence. Piece by piece America is sold to highest bidder. A government for the lobby, not the people.

    • @AngryKittens
      @AngryKittens Před 4 lety +1

      @@Asher_Tye Sadly, when it does start affecting people, it's usually only one community at a time. Quite easy for Republicans to ignore and bury in red tape. Especially when the lobby money keep rolling in.

  • @anthonyellis4915
    @anthonyellis4915 Před 4 lety +376

    Okay. So, the president most likely has a severe case of narcissism but his supporters have no clue what narcissism is. Fantastic.

    • @srkh8966
      @srkh8966 Před 4 lety +21

      Anthony Ellis Nor would they care if they knew.

    • @miapdx503
      @miapdx503 Před 4 lety +30

      These are the same people who accept his sex crimes. And his serial adultery. And all his lies. And they do this, a lot 🙈🙉🙊

    • @kathleenmitchell1582
      @kathleenmitchell1582 Před 4 lety +4

      @@miapdx503 They sure do.

    • @jordanmatthei9404
      @jordanmatthei9404 Před 4 lety +6

      Too many syllables for your basic Trump supporter....

    • @theblade9024
      @theblade9024 Před 4 lety +17

      @@miapdx503 you mean evangelical "Christians"? They spent all of Obama's years telling us they had morals, family values, and respect for law and order. All lies.

  • @KN-wl4vv
    @KN-wl4vv Před 4 lety +5

    When he said "impeachment tree" and I realized he was serious, I was unfortunately taking a drink and it literally dribbled out my mouth as I tried to contain my laughter.

  • @dragoncrash1234
    @dragoncrash1234 Před 4 lety +1

    I’m down here in Texas and the other day the temperature dropped 20 degrees in ONE HOUR. keep in mind this is TEXAS!!

  • @kalaya01
    @kalaya01 Před 4 lety +38

    He always lies about "big strong people crying."

  • @deathbecomesher6412
    @deathbecomesher6412 Před 4 lety +389

    I’m setting up my impeachment tree as we speak lol

    • @thegreatanointedlordtrump.336
      @thegreatanointedlordtrump.336 Před 4 lety +1

      I'm your great white hope!

    • @laraxify
      @laraxify Před 4 lety +10

      that's the Spirit!

    • @MohsinKhan-nn6xu
      @MohsinKhan-nn6xu Před 4 lety +5

      *Nice, Ignore all the Trump defender inbreds and Russian 🇷🇺 trolls*

    • @thegreatanointedlordtrump.336
      @thegreatanointedlordtrump.336 Před 4 lety

      Impeachment is going to fail. You fakes have no choice but to get run over by the Trump train in 2020!+

    • @dontfearlife2423
      @dontfearlife2423 Před 4 lety +3

      The Great Anointed Lord Trump. Wow you dump supporters claim to be so smart but you don’t see the big picture. Let me explain it for you. We know it’s not gonna get passed the senate but they’re doing to him what he did to Hillary destroying his image for 2020 by releasing everything. Duh!!!!

  • @agirlandhercat6543
    @agirlandhercat6543 Před 4 lety +9

    "And only the dumb people are giving the speech" ...Good one!😂😂

  • @Oglokoog
    @Oglokoog Před 4 lety +7

    "What I'm hearing is troubling me... deeply."

  • @valdirbruxeljunior
    @valdirbruxeljunior Před 4 lety +629

    “Only the smart people are clapping” - Trump isn’t clapping

    • @beckv8526
      @beckv8526 Před 4 lety +5

      Omg! You killed me! 😂😂😂😂😂

    • @seanascala5683
      @seanascala5683 Před 4 lety +7

      HAA HAA!!!!

    • @DresdenShuffle
      @DresdenShuffle Před 4 lety +19

      "I was waiting for you to clap"
      What a complete narcissist thinking everything he says deserves to be clapped.

    • @d.thomasmoore3020
      @d.thomasmoore3020 Před 4 lety +1

      Just 20 minutes ago I watched 5 sheep in the top paddock clapping along while singing 'Kumbaya my lord'. Stupid sheep.

    • @patbyrne3076
      @patbyrne3076 Před 4 lety +9

      He’s in a setting to give a speech and disses half the audience without hesitation. Whatta jerk. He’s usually clapping for himself like a trained circus animal.

  • @lawsonc12
    @lawsonc12 Před 4 lety +27

    Great , you should also do a Advent impeachment calendar

  • @PitFriend1
    @PitFriend1 Před 4 lety +429

    “Most Transparent President in History”. Trump keeps saying those words. I don’t think they mean what he thinks they mean.

    • @abaguirre8945
      @abaguirre8945 Před 4 lety +2

      Pit Friend how many improv press conferences did Obama give again? Lol he’s answered more questions from the press than any other president before him, fact check me on that.

    • @none-gu9xs
      @none-gu9xs Před 4 lety +18

      Inconceivable!

    • @AhrimanThorn
      @AhrimanThorn Před 4 lety +43

      @@abaguirre8945 O.K I just fact checked you AB Aguirre and it turns out you’re right. Trump has lied to the press more than any other president before him.

    • @JamesLeeBuzz
      @JamesLeeBuzz Před 4 lety +19

      AB Aguirre you may be right about that, because he doesn’t have a press secretary do them anymore, probably because he thinks they’ll just somehow screw up the lies he plans to answer the questions asked of him with.
      He’s also likely on Stimulants and a lot of them, his confidence in his blatantly obvious and frankly poorly crafted lies is quite a sight to behold. What a strange president we’ve got.

    • @abaguirre8945
      @abaguirre8945 Před 4 lety +1

      James Lee ok so what’s your source? You just claim he’s lying or you got specific instances where he lied? Or is it what late night comedians want you to think?

  • @MaryJaneHancock
    @MaryJaneHancock Před 4 lety +2

    Thank you SC for helping the USA Smile.

  • @digitaliq9136
    @digitaliq9136 Před 4 lety +75

    Can we impeach his whole cabinet and VP Pence? Trump impeachment good, but we need all them gone. #PresidentPelosi

    • @okkietrooy7941
      @okkietrooy7941 Před 4 lety +1

      Most importantly the Senate has to turn blue and Mitch McConnell has to go. If the senate stays in republican hands than a democratic president will be a lame duck.
      Generally speaking I am not in favor of one party having house, senate and presidency.
      But in the current situation it will be essential to prevent another 4 years of bickering and nothing getting accomplished.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před 4 lety

      We'll vote all those bastards out!

  • @akowalz
    @akowalz Před 4 lety +144

    The tree had an outline of Ukraine covered in candy canes. U-candy-crane

    • @jimsvideos7201
      @jimsvideos7201 Před 4 lety +6

      Good catch!

    • @heatherbleu5370
      @heatherbleu5370 Před 4 lety +9

      Figgy puddin = figgy Putin

    • @tonib.3016
      @tonib.3016 Před 4 lety +2

      I would never have figured that out! Great observation.

    • @xmillion1704
      @xmillion1704 Před 4 lety +6

      I was struggling to make that one out, so eager and anxious am I, like a little kid on impeachment eve!

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před 4 lety +1

      I love Stephen and the team!

  • @loglog7
    @loglog7 Před 4 lety +4

    "only the smart people are clapping" I cringed so hard I think I might be inside out someone help.

  • @SC-dr4wk
    @SC-dr4wk Před 4 lety +9

    He is literally so good at trump's mimicry

  • @martinnibataan7046
    @martinnibataan7046 Před 4 lety +91

    Oh he is perfect allright,
    perfectly insane...

    • @BarryWaterlow
      @BarryWaterlow Před 4 lety +2

      -Kinder- Martinni Bataan clever

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před 4 lety +1

      He thinks he's special. He's the kind of special you put in a straitjacket.

  • @riosricardo7400
    @riosricardo7400 Před 4 lety +60

    Stephen shouldn’t be allowed to be off Mondays.......😎

    • @joshuamarsella
      @joshuamarsella Před 4 lety +1

      He’s not. They film on Monday and it comes out Tuesday morning. He takes Sunday off.

  • @kathryn3950
    @kathryn3950 Před 4 lety +4

    STOP CALLING THE PHONE CALL PERFECT! Also, what does that even mean?!

    • @hawkeye5955
      @hawkeye5955 Před 4 lety

      It's perfect as in "perfect evidence for impeachment"

  • @rsaldivar5628
    @rsaldivar5628 Před 4 lety +16

    "We did so much....(incoherent rambling)" *silence*
    "We ended" * sleepy cheer*
    Him: good they love me
    Them: good he's leaving

  • @stacyneuman8619
    @stacyneuman8619 Před 4 lety +31

    Wait... Lindsay Graham has balls???

    • @brandonbenjamin9452
      @brandonbenjamin9452 Před 4 lety +6

      Stacy Neuman *had 😂

    • @zarakikon6352
      @zarakikon6352 Před 4 lety +3

      Stacy Neuman, I'm surprised that his spine wasn't in the tree as well but that's probably because it's missing.

    • @Pyxis10
      @Pyxis10 Před 4 lety +1

      Yeah they are on the tree.

    • @rosekiller123
      @rosekiller123 Před 4 lety +1

      Stacy Neuman nope, and Republicans are realizing this, so? 😂

  • @Elonpocalyps420
    @Elonpocalyps420 Před 4 lety +23

    It’s beginning to look a lot like impeachment!

  • @professionalamatuer8064
    @professionalamatuer8064 Před 4 lety +10

    The tree also needed Rand Paul's spine.

  • @elakeyy
    @elakeyy Před 4 lety +4

    “Trumps treat....,sorry trumps Threat” lol

  • @nadiavoun7137
    @nadiavoun7137 Před 4 lety +57

    "Only the smart people are clapping." Nope. Those were the ones who got paid to clap.

    • @okkietrooy7941
      @okkietrooy7941 Před 4 lety +2

      Trump thinks, you are smart when you get money.

  • @peterwyetzner5276
    @peterwyetzner5276 Před 4 lety +37

    Interesting- when Stephen makes a mistake reading his prompter, he says "sorry" and corrects it rather than pretending that he meant to say it and coming up with a nonsensical phrase to incorporate it into the corrected sentence.

    • @rsmzm2000
      @rsmzm2000 Před 4 lety

      Did you catch him make a mistake right before that when his punchline was, "fox news." ?? I wonder what he meant to say?

  • @seanascala5683
    @seanascala5683 Před 4 lety

    Stephen you are always fantastic but were UNBELIEVABLE today!!! The tree was hysterical!! And the Quid Pro Ohhh commercial was incredible!! I was laughing sooo much!!! Thanks, cos you are basically what holds every American together right now.

  • @nbbim2012
    @nbbim2012 Před 4 lety +19

    I love how much Stephen enjoys himself when he messes up, never change

  • @MegaArslan2009
    @MegaArslan2009 Před 4 lety +30

    Holy shit! I’m so freaking early! Also happy impeachment eve. 🔒 him up 💯

  • @soldierdad4
    @soldierdad4 Před 4 lety +24

    Oh you guys! I bet it’s another “perfect phone call” 😮 🤣

  • @robinswanson3974
    @robinswanson3974 Před 4 lety +22

    We should talk about his state of mind. yikes

    • @Chunkboi
      @Chunkboi Před 4 lety +1

      See, that makes an erroneous assumption that President 💩, like his cult members, even has a mind.

    • @samsmythe937
      @samsmythe937 Před 4 lety

      A talk about his state of mind would be a VERY short conversation because he doesn't have a mind!

    • @foogonechill1765
      @foogonechill1765 Před 4 lety

      Lmao all u liberals want is free money with out having to step out from your houses

    • @robinswanson3974
      @robinswanson3974 Před 4 lety

      @@foogonechill1765 tell us what you really think!

    • @Chunkboi
      @Chunkboi Před 4 lety

      shhh k. 👈 case in point.

  • @cjaypaz9842
    @cjaypaz9842 Před 4 lety +6

    The most important call is the one where he committed the offense...

  • @paulh2468
    @paulh2468 Před 4 lety +3

    Oh that sniffing sound! That benzedrine sniffing sound!