Perinatal Services BC - Biology of Loss: Recognizing Impaired Attachments & Fostering Resilience

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  • čas přidán 18. 04. 2016
  • Presenting at the March 2016 Perinatal Services BC Healthy Mothers & Healthy Babies conference, renowned speaker and author Dr.Gabor Maté illuminates the sources of developmental challenges, childhood and adult mental disorders, and physical health issues as originating in the prenatal, perinatal, and early childhood periods. Based on Dr. Maté’s bestselling books and on current neuroscientific and developmental research, the presentation focuses on how we can prevent maldevelopment through attuned parenting and restore and foster resilience in children already facing developmental challenges.

Komentáře • 457

  • @SueDamron
    @SueDamron Před 2 lety +74

    This man speaks to the human heart directly!! His way of being and speaking, heals the person listening to him! A true gift to all of us!

    • @donaldmcdaniel3617
      @donaldmcdaniel3617 Před rokem

      I have no idea what 12.33

    • @birukfeleke1154
      @birukfeleke1154 Před rokem

      ​@@donaldmcdaniel3617 8rrddtrrfrydetyeedwytrrsse8😅yee😅eeer8year w😅rdey77trrr666eee666ytyt6UK ttee😅et8rr7rddsf6upon rr66r😅rere6😮reeeedr6e66r48

    • @dianacudby7290
      @dianacudby7290 Před 10 měsíci

      I listen to his talks every night, for as long as possible, until I fall asleep 😊

  • @mauricekoopman4902
    @mauricekoopman4902 Před 3 lety +126

    He is learning me more about myself in each sentence than psychotherapists have in years of therapy.

    • @emilyw3483
      @emilyw3483 Před rokem

      YES it feels that way in some of his tapes. I think he just has so much compassion not only for people but also for himself--not narcissism but really a healing idea for Trump, Biden, children, mothers, addicts...compassion is just so very healing.

  • @quasimchambers
    @quasimchambers Před 5 lety +445

    He’s one of the real ones

  • @pamelareinhardt7589
    @pamelareinhardt7589 Před 2 lety +29

    Gabor Mate has profoundly changed my life. His compassionate genius transcends medicine.

  • @takfaazul5408
    @takfaazul5408 Před 3 lety +33

    It is shocking how this video is coming to confirm what my "illiterate" mother and grandmother have always told me close to 50 years ago, that the mother's stress has negative effects on the child during pregnancy and in early childhood.

  • @andrewwabik5125
    @andrewwabik5125 Před 3 lety +25

    "I was a workaholic father. My children felt it was their fault. Multi-generational trauma" Jesus..that hit home.

  • @carolrandazzo4713
    @carolrandazzo4713 Před 4 lety +171

    OMG there is no end to Gabor Mate's brilliance. Every topic I have seen him lecture about, on youtube that is, every word Gabor has spoken confirms and validates my experiences in hospital settings with my differently abled son from birth and my husband's illnesses as they were treated in hospital care. I am grateful that Gabor has the courage to speak about the taboo issues and their connections to our lifestyles. Change seems to take too long. Hopefully, Gabor's candid lectures will speed change in specific areas of life in hospitals and all areas of life in general. The importance of Gabor's courage and diligence in getting positive messages out regarding the development of human psychology and how it relates to health, this information dissemination is dependent upon the courage of the people who work in hospitals. They have a significant role to play in the development of humankind.

    • @isabelhernandez3760
      @isabelhernandez3760 Před 4 lety +9

      👍👍👍 LOVE him, his approach and his empathy to all ill patients.

    • @and__lam1152
      @and__lam1152 Před 3 lety +9

      Completely agree.... he is light and love who admits his flaws and works for all of ours.

    • @ohgawd
      @ohgawd Před 2 lety +2

      Look for his documentary, "The Wisdom of Trauma".👍

    • @kuibeiguahua
      @kuibeiguahua Před 2 lety

      I hope Matéism becomes an expression in the future

    • @poloparker0420
      @poloparker0420 Před rokem +1

      ​@@kuibeiguahua Revolution

  • @theresapelham1918
    @theresapelham1918 Před 5 lety +81

    This is the real deal.....spread the words....in humble firmness

    • @RickTashma
      @RickTashma Před 2 lety

      Love the phrase "humble firmness"! Describes Dr. Mate very well, and how he wants us to propagate the message. Thx.

  • @Dot-Dot-Dash
    @Dot-Dot-Dash Před 5 lety +145

    Wonderful speech and I agree with all of this, as a Retired Nurse and as a Buddhist who has studied Healing touch, etc., in nursing and metaphysics. I love this talk. I do wish we had Health Care in the USA as good as in Canada. Women in the USA have much stress. My other wish is that all countries can love and respect the teachings of Indigenous people and learn from them, instead of testing animals by putting them under stress or pain. We could have had so much! I see the connection to suicide very clearly, too. Sharing this to help everyone.

    • @wheremylifego3790
      @wheremylifego3790 Před 3 lety +4

      Thank you ❤

    • @kellyleej
      @kellyleej Před 3 lety

      🙏💖

    • @janeyd5280
      @janeyd5280 Před 3 lety +1

      Dorothy Simone I have bitten my nails since a very young child. Would you or anyone know how I can address this to stop. What would u recommend. Thank you. X

    • @Dot-Dot-Dash
      @Dot-Dot-Dash Před 3 lety

      @@janeyd5280 Hope you find the answer. I'm over 70 years old and I just tried acupuncture for the first time. Maybe that could help? It uses energy centers. You could ask.

    • @Dot-Dot-Dash
      @Dot-Dot-Dash Před 2 lety

      @@halvardlund4782 Am only thinking that Buddhism teaches long term cause and effect, so it helps me understand medical situations more clearly.

  • @ahagamama
    @ahagamama Před 5 lety +54

    The sciences of Ayurveda and Yoga would fully concur with you! Thank goodness that someone who sees with true perception and intelligence is becoming well-known and respected!

    • @pixieplay00
      @pixieplay00 Před 3 lety

      💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

  • @nathannavarrete3791
    @nathannavarrete3791 Před 8 lety +92

    GENIUS! I feel so thankful that this channel uploaded this video because it meets my need for reassurance that people are going to have to wake up sooner than later.

  • @samantha-kemp-therapy
    @samantha-kemp-therapy Před 4 lety +13

    im so glad mate always speaks for the First Nations

  • @SteveSmekar-ll6ln
    @SteveSmekar-ll6ln Před 4 lety +17

    How I would love to meet this guy, at least hear him talk live while it is still possible. His information and commentary are so relevant, so nutritive to present day society.

    • @nelgrace1969
      @nelgrace1969 Před 4 lety +2

      Oh me too Steve, I'm from Australia and would absolutely love to be in a room where the magnificent Gabor is talking

    • @katerinasarigelou9967
      @katerinasarigelou9967 Před 4 lety +1

      Me too guys... Unfortunately, I don't think he's ever coming to Greece...

    • @MrRichofheart
      @MrRichofheart Před 4 lety +1

      why/ it is not about him, it is about you.

  • @KathrynDavison
    @KathrynDavison Před 5 lety +18

    Gabor, I am SUCH a fan. But as a doctorate in mind-body psych, I will say, I completed my degree (and published well in 2000), and the head of the APA retired depressed b/c as he said (in 2000), "Fifty years of rigorous, empirical mind-body research has yielded zero impact on the health care delivery system." So....yeah. Fifty years PLUS. Makes me feel downright indigenous, my gifts to the culture are so un-tapped. THANK you for using your fame to advance the care for our future young...

  • @makaylahollywood3677
    @makaylahollywood3677 Před 3 lety +15

    My mother told me that I had to be induced at labor, she makes a joke that i was comfortable and warm and did't want to come out. This bothered me when she said it. It bothers me now. Today, my theory and great belief is that I was already traumatized by my parents troubled marriage; i'm certain as i have acute hearing and hypervigilant to sounds and smells. I am sensitive and eventually labelled emotional a label given to distract everyone from the truth. Thank you for the talk.

    • @raewynurwin4256
      @raewynurwin4256 Před 3 lety +1

      Makayla, research autism, I'm 72 and recently diagnosed autistic spectrum condition (high functioning) I'm sad my daughter 51 was diagnosed schizophrenic 30yrs ago I now believe she too is on the spectrum. Too late for her she has been swamped with psychiatrict drugs and past 10yrs alcoholic.

    • @makaylahollywood3677
      @makaylahollywood3677 Před 3 lety +5

      Learn all you can. Do what you can do within your limitations. Prayer help lead us on this very changing, unpredictable path. Seek love and moments of joy. And, find ways to know and transform your pain. There is a collective suffering we all share. Knowing your story feels like a connection. We are all connected.

  • @Sashas-mom
    @Sashas-mom Před 4 lety +12

    1:07 “ don’t worry about whether or not you screwed up your kid...you did so don’t worry about it.” So freeing.... helps me listen to the solution. 🙏🏼

  • @garyweglarz
    @garyweglarz Před 5 lety +42

    Truly excellent presentation regarding all that we know about trauma and healing that still somehow manages to be almost completely ignored within the realm of modern medicine. Dr. Mate's work is so very enlightening, especially if one is willing to open to one's own vulnerability and to accept the clear reality that in one way or another, either personally or societally, we are ALL impacted by trauma, by intergenerational trauma and by increasing levels of stress. How we support ourselves and each other is key to both our individual and collective health and healing. Thanks for sharing this presentation.

    • @fortbenningmom
      @fortbenningmom Před 4 lety +3

      Amen! I"ve been trying to re-parent myself (and my grown children). I want him on my side, with his kind, nurturing, validating, and loving/keep-trying attitude. May God bless him more and more, even if government institutions, main-stream medicine and other highly-politicized groups are slow to do so.

  • @moonlightgiftshoppe
    @moonlightgiftshoppe Před 2 lety +19

    I believe I've lived a near death experience most of my life because of the extreme torture and abuse I suffered since my birth through the first seventeen years of my life which included multiple familial abusers and multiple incest pregnancies starting at an earlier age than society says is normal. I've never been medicated because of this or hospitalized. I've experienced spiritual support through out of body experiences.

    • @selmore94
      @selmore94 Před 2 lety +2

      ❤️

    • @staycurious644
      @staycurious644 Před 2 lety +2

      Thank you for sharing. My trauma was behind my own spiritual awakening, so I can completely relate. It is a gift.

  • @isabelhernandez3760
    @isabelhernandez3760 Před 4 lety +23

    An OG in several Medical specialties. Exemplary physician who truly lives by the Hippocratic Oath. 👏👏👏

  • @CMoore8539
    @CMoore8539 Před 5 lety +57

    Completely Genius!!!♥️ I’m so Thankful that someone has brought this to public awareness.

    • @CynthiaSchoenbauer
      @CynthiaSchoenbauer Před 5 lety +2

      Hi, Cindy Moore. My name is Cindy too and I agree with you wholeheartedly! I listen to Gabor regularly on CZcams and I feel I am actually understanding it a little better each time.

    • @CMoore8539
      @CMoore8539 Před 5 lety +2

      CynthiaSchoenbauer He’s very good. I agree with this Teaching too. My question is how do we put it into our lives.

    • @CynthiaSchoenbauer
      @CynthiaSchoenbauer Před 5 lety +2

      That is a very good question! I am working on the principles that are involved in making these changes. I realize that I have been in CPTSD, in-other-words the trauma he is talking about left over from childhood and I am actually making some progress. When I get a little farther along I would be happy to share my secrets. I have my favorite people on CZcams too, like Thrive After Abuse with Dana Morningstar. It is so nice to meet another true-blue fan, Cindy Moore.

    • @CMoore8539
      @CMoore8539 Před 5 lety

      CynthiaSchoenbauer Yes please do. Thank you!

  • @anitastruthers1896
    @anitastruthers1896 Před 4 lety +43

    Young people are looking to Facebook, Instagram etc for likes and "friends" for their attachment needs ☹️

  • @yarakodmous8818
    @yarakodmous8818 Před 3 lety +18

    Can you just imagine how much fear and insecurities Palestinian babies must feel with all the trauma they and their parents and grandparents have and have had to endure for over 70 years now? ;(

    • @upupandaway5646
      @upupandaway5646 Před 3 lety +4

      Its a tragedy how they are treated ,

    • @daphnerandall4084
      @daphnerandall4084 Před 3 lety +5

      I was thinking along those lines as well, about the children in Syria, Yemen, Afghanistan, Liberia, Iraq, etc. where we-US and ‘allies’-are bombing. I pray for them....and for us😭😭😭😭

    • @karate4348
      @karate4348 Před 3 lety +1

      It's tragic.

    • @tabermaisie451
      @tabermaisie451 Před 3 lety +3

      People must find a way to spend less time in the workplace and more time with the family. ‘“The machine” doesn’t want that to happen because that breeds autonomy. The overall health, mental, physical, spiritual, is sacrificed to the bottom line. Living below ones means and eating and drinking clean nutrients is almost a dream.

  • @SoriahsASMRTingleWonderland

    I am so obsessed with Dr. Gabor Mate. He is an absolute genius. His ideas are correct and so precise. I have seen so many of his lectures on CZcams, it is now time to read his books. xoxoxo Soriah

    • @pixieplay00
      @pixieplay00 Před 3 lety

      No books simply compassion for the one heart we all are 💖🙏💖

    • @ElJay5
      @ElJay5 Před 2 lety

      Ooo

    • @ElJay5
      @ElJay5 Před 2 lety

      @@pixieplay00 lkklkl

  • @pellykhan7450
    @pellykhan7450 Před 3 lety +9

    I am so so thankful for this beautiful person...I can't stop watching his videos here...he is helping me so much I can't tell you...♥♥♥

  • @itoilinks
    @itoilinks Před 2 lety +5

    4:32 decease and early life experience - physical, emotional, spiritual, psychic health, early aquired disfunction.
    6:55 Emotional life, relationship with other people and myself, on set of decease, idiopathic (don´t know cause). separation body, mind and environment.
    8:10 - bio/psycho/social perspective..
    19:17 The capacity to "tune out" - a coping mechanism.
    38:35 Multigenerational trauma

  • @ek5994
    @ek5994 Před rokem +2

    Should be required for Drs to watch this. Realize common sense isn't taught in medical school or anywhere, but a person is a whole person, and their life contributes to that whole person. Have a Dr addressing trauma through bodywork and it is amazing.

  • @mojopeep326
    @mojopeep326 Před 5 lety +83

    Alcohol and drugs are the bandaids applied to wounds that if left uncovered would destroy them.

    • @mojopeep326
      @mojopeep326 Před 5 lety +2

      Please clarify .....

    • @jenniferlynnebecker7316
      @jenniferlynnebecker7316 Před 3 lety

      nicely put
      if iIT could be summed up in a pretty little package... I'd slap a bow on this! you worded it perfectly!

    • @jenniferlynnebecker7316
      @jenniferlynnebecker7316 Před 3 lety

      nicely put
      if iIT could be summed up in a pretty little package... I'd slap a bow on this! you worded it perfectly!

    • @jenniferlynnebecker7316
      @jenniferlynnebecker7316 Před 3 lety +1

      I'm saying this to the bandaid comment- keep it simple

    • @cindyd2956
      @cindyd2956 Před 3 lety

      Brilliant

  • @mrlin1687
    @mrlin1687 Před 4 lety +42

    Not just first nation people... the black community enduring huge psychological trauma. Generationally. That would be a great study...especially with compounding factors such as systemic racism and consequently perceived self value.

    • @Luvz2Surf
      @Luvz2Surf Před 4 lety +10

      So very true. It's astonishing to me just how consistently the African American community--as it pertains to the history and bio-psychi-social ravages and multi-generational impact of slavery and racism--is almost always conspicuously omitted from this equation. And, is rarely discussed, in this context, with the same degree of awareness, insight, and compassion, etc..

    • @MrRichofheart
      @MrRichofheart Před 4 lety +2

      yes rohan and add to that 400 years of epigenetics.....grandfather richard

    • @Sashas-mom
      @Sashas-mom Před 4 lety +4

      So I realize I’m super late to the discussion but has anyone found anywhere that the black community has been discussed by Gabor in these terms? For sure I am able to extrapolate much from his talks that I can apply but is there a lecture where he might discuss the black community specifically?

    • @Luxkywalk3r
      @Luxkywalk3r Před 4 lety +5

      ​@@Luvz2Surf I've first heard about intergenerational trauma from African American Studies scholars, so it's definitely out there. This guy's Canadian and their government is insanely hypocritical re: treatment of native populations, so I think he makes a point of mentioning that in particular (but in other talks he does quote African Americans and Canadians). In

    • @Luxkywalk3r
      @Luxkywalk3r Před 4 lety +2

      @@Luvz2Surf that being said, absolutely, this stuff needs to be mainstream knowledge, not just scholarly articles (BLM has been doing a wonderful job in this regard). The machine of systemic oppression has been hiding in plain sight for enough time

  • @sassiestqueen9074
    @sassiestqueen9074 Před 5 lety +25

    Thank you for speaking against evidence-based medicine. I have also noticed how negative the results can be. It causes medical group-think to be rationalized, and suppresses the urge to deal with the individual patient.

  • @karenmininni4962
    @karenmininni4962 Před 4 lety +19

    We ALL need to be free to ask others, What's going on? I need to be able to ask you for the support that I need!!!! Then set a boundary until we receive it.

    • @jeweltee69
      @jeweltee69 Před 3 lety +1

      Communication and conflict management need to be taught in elementary and high school.

  • @ssunkite1
    @ssunkite1 Před 3 lety +6

    Dr. Maté is a legend in his own right. Internalize his spoken knowledge and wisdom not just listen to it.

  • @lindsaywhitney6305
    @lindsaywhitney6305 Před 5 lety +20

    The most obvious policy change that needs to happen regards maternity/paternity leave. Europe has understood this connection at the policy level, giving in some cases years of paid leave to new parents.

    • @th8257
      @th8257 Před 2 lety

      Absolutely astonishing that America doesn't have it. And also has some of the lowest level of paid holiday time in the western world too.

    • @drrMonManon
      @drrMonManon Před 2 lety

      It is true, maternity/paternity leaves are luxurious in Europe comparing to US. But don't worry we all have war trauma here :D

  • @thetruthaboutsobriety2448

    You have changed my life sir. I will be paying it forward for the rest of my life

  • @timandtheocean
    @timandtheocean Před 3 lety +3

    Beatifull to see a Dr that inspired by Jiddu krishnamurti able to look at him self critically and objectively gets close to the essence. Sooner or later we have to deal with our past as little kids. That is we want to grow, compassionate and vulnerable. Then we could become the best parent and stop the bullshit in us that can be generations old. Unfortunately the majority of people stay ignorant and this dance wil go on forever. Choise is yours.

  • @ahagamama
    @ahagamama Před 5 lety +7

    The fact that LISTENING is not something we do enough of and your comment here about that, inspired me to comment here: I have studied and practiced Vedic Chanting for 20 years. I have also done some teaching of this practice, along with my 40 years + practicing and teaching Yoga. I observed that my students can tune in and listen much better after doing some Vedic Chant practice where they have to listen and repeat sounds that are (to them) pure sound. I wonder if you think this practice of listening would be useful therapeutically for overcoming things like ADHD?

  • @lisettegarcia
    @lisettegarcia Před rokem +2

    This makes me feel proud and happy that I insisted on a home birth among other childrearing choices that people called crazy or obsessive at the time.

  • @junemichaels7350
    @junemichaels7350 Před 5 lety +21

    He's a gift.

    • @CynthiaSchoenbauer
      @CynthiaSchoenbauer Před 5 lety +2

      There is no doubt about that, June! He has helped me so much with the guidance to know where I am going and what I can believe in.

  • @garrettmeadows2273
    @garrettmeadows2273 Před 2 lety +2

    Finally a doctor who makes sense.

  • @stegospine84
    @stegospine84 Před 4 lety +19

    Gargling is a really good way to deal with stress. It sooths the Vegus nerve. Brings your vegal tone up. Try it next time you are stressed. Make a Chewbacca noise for a minute or so during your negative thought or emotion, you'll be surprised.

    • @TC-rv6sz
      @TC-rv6sz Před rokem

      Wow! That's so interesting, thank you for sharing.

  • @JOHAN_PERJUS
    @JOHAN_PERJUS Před 2 lety +5

    I hereby nominate you sir, for the Nobel price in medicine AND economics.

    • @tonidjakic
      @tonidjakic Před rokem

      Don't mud his work with that two-faced organization

    • @johanperjus616
      @johanperjus616 Před rokem

      @@tonidjakic why two faced? Please explain.

  • @chuckheppner4384
    @chuckheppner4384 Před rokem +3

    "People whose integrity has not been damaged in childhood, who were protected, respected, and treated with honesty by their parents, will be-both in their youth and in adulthood-intelligent, responsive, empathic, and highly sensitive. They will take pleasure in life and will not feel any need to kill or even hurt others or themselves. They will use their power to defend themselves, not to attack others. They will not be able to do otherwise than respect and protect those weaker than themselves, including their children, because this is what they have learned from their own experience.
    We are still barely conscious of how harmful it is to treat children in a degrading manner. Treating them with respect and recognizing the consequences of their being humiliated are by no means intellectual matters; otherwise, their importance would long since have been generally recognized.
    Society chooses to disregard the mistreatment of children, judging it to be altogether normal because it is so commonplace.
    The more we idealize the past and refuse to acknowledge our childhood sufferings, the more we pass them on unconsciously to the next generation. The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body, and although we can repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated, and conceptions confused, and our body tricked with medication. But someday our body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child, who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth.
    The art of not experiencing feelings. A child can experience her feelings only when there is somebody there who accepts her fully, understands her, and supports her. If that person is missing, if the child must risk losing the mother’s love of her substitute in order to feel, then she will repress emotions.
    Every life and every childhood is filled with frustrations; we cannot imagine it otherwise, for even the best mother cannot satisfy all her child’s wishes and needs. It is not the suffering caused by frustration, however, that leads to emotional illness, but rather the fact that the child is forbidden by the parents to experience and articulate this suffering, the pain felt at being wounded.
    We don’t yet know, above all, what the world might be like if children were to grow up without being subjected to humiliation, if parents would respect them and take them seriously as people.
    The reason why parents mistreat their children has less to do with character and temperament than with the fact that they were mistreated themselves and were not permitted to defend themselves.
    The claim that mild punishments (slaps or smacks) have no detrimental effect is still widespread because we got this message very early from our parents who had taken it over from their own parents. Unfortunately, the main damage it causes is precisely the broad dissemination of this conviction. The result of which is that each successive generation is subjected to the tragic effects of so called physical “correction.”
    The knowledge that you were beaten and that this, as your parents tell you, was for your own good may well be retained (although not always), but the suffering caused by the way you were mistreated will remain unconscious and will later prevent you from empathizing with others. This is why battered children grow up to be mothers and fathers who beat their offspring.
    Many people suffer all their lives from this oppressive feeling of guilt, the sense of not having lived up to their parents’ expectations. This feeling is stronger than any intellectual insight they might have, that it is not a child’s task or duty to satisfy his parents needs. No argument can overcome these guilt feelings, for they have their beginnings in life’s earliest periods, and from that they derive their intensity and obduracy.
    The abused children are alone with their suffering, not only within the family, but also within themselves. They cannot crate a place in their own soul where they could cry their heart out.
    The abused child goes on living within those who have survived such torture, a torture that ended with total repression. They live with the darkness of fear, oppression, and threats. When all its attempts to move the adult to heed its story have failed, it resorts to the language of symptoms to make itself heard. Enter addiction, psychosis, criminality.
    Till now, society has protected the adult and blamed the victim. It has been abetted in its blindness by theories, still in keeping with the pedagogical principles of our great- grandparents, according to which children are viewed as crafty creatures, dominated by wicked drives, who invent stories and attack their innocent parents or desire them sexually. In reality, children tend to blame themselves for their parents’ cruelty and to absolve the parents, whom they invariably love, of all responsibility.
    It is not true that evil, destructiveness , and perversion inevitably form part of human existence, no matter how often this is maintained. But it is true that we are daily producing more evil and, with it, an ocean of suffering for millions that is absolutely avoidable. When one day the ignorance arising from childhood repression is eliminated and humanity has awakened, an end can be put to this production of evil.
    It is very difficult for people to believe the simple fact that every persecutor was once a victim. Yet it should be very obvious that someone who was allowed to feel free and strong from childhood does not have the need to humiliate another person.
    Those children who are beaten will in turn give beatings, those who are intimidated will be intimidating, those who are humiliated will impose humiliation, and those whose souls are murdered will murder.
    Without realizing that the past is constantly determining their present actions, they avoid learning anything about their history. They continue to live in their repressed childhood situation, ignoring the fact that is no longer exists, continuing to fear and avoid dangers that, although once real, have not been real for a long time.
    Sadism is not an infectious disease that strikes a person all of a sudden. It has a long prehistory in childhood and always originates in the desperate fantasies of a child who is searching for a way out of a hopeless situation.
    Hitler, Stalin, Mao and other dictators were exposed to severe physical mistreatment in childhood and refused to face up to the fact later. Instead of seeing and feeling what had happened to them, they avenged themselves vicariously by killing millions of people. And millions of others helped them to do so." ~ Alice Miller
    "Why should society feel responsible only for the education of children, and not for the education of all adults of every age?
    Many psychiatrists and psychologists refuse to entertain the idea that society as a whole may be lacking in sanity. They hold that the problem of mental health in a society is only that of the number of 'unadjusted' individuals, and not of a possible un-adjustment of the culture itself.
    The fact that millions of people share the same vices does not make these vices virtues, the fact that they share so many errors does not make the errors to be truths, and the fact that millions of people share the same form of mental pathology does not make these people sane.
    A society whose principles are acquisition, profit, and property produces a social character oriented around having, and once the dominant pattern is established, nobody wants to be an outsider, or indeed an outcast; in order to avoid this risk everybody adapts to the majority, who have in common only their mutual antagonism.
    The deepest need of the human being is to overcome our separateness, to leave the prison of our loneliness. The person who gives up his individual self and becomes an automaton, identical with millions of other automatons around him, need not feel alone and anxious any more. But the price he pays, however, is high; it is the loss of his self.
    Alienation as we find it in modern society is almost total… Man has created a world of man-made things as it never existed before. He has constructed a complicated social machine to administer the technical machine he built. The more powerful and gigantic the forces are which he unleashes, the more powerless he feels himself as a human being. He is owned by his creations, and has lost ownership of himself." ~ Erich Fromm

  • @dimitrisiokas7718
    @dimitrisiokas7718 Před 4 lety +5

    First saw Dr. Mate in Zeitgeist moving forward documentary back in 2013 I think. I remember this, he was instantly able to trigger my brain electrical signals very effectively and in such a powerful thus adaptable way. Found him again on YTube 'accidentally" immediately remembered him and by only listening to his awesome deepest speeches, helped me out by showing me the way dots can be connected activating in me the ability to understand their sense in my Life.
    Thank U Gabor!

  • @elizabethannegrey6285
    @elizabethannegrey6285 Před 2 lety +4

    This most excellent presentation has the capacity to be life
    altering if people are
    HUMBLE enough to
    acknowledge their own
    ignorance, inadequacies, and prejudice. A brilliant presentation.

  • @ggsolleb916
    @ggsolleb916 Před 3 lety +3

    Enlightened being...Open hearted and A Truth Seeker... The WOUNDED HEALER☆☆☆♡ ◇◇◇

  • @shakubob
    @shakubob Před 4 lety +34

    People must find a way to spend less time in the workplace and more time with the family. ‘“The machine” doesn’t want that to happen because that breeds autonomy. The overall health, mental, physical, spiritual, is sacrificed to the bottom line. Living below ones means and eating and drinking clean nutrients is almost a dream.

  • @cosmicbull208
    @cosmicbull208 Před 2 lety +2

    I think this his best speech yet… I am 46 and don’t have children…. but I feel him soooooo much.

  • @moirasmith
    @moirasmith Před 4 lety +26

    Re caesarians: I understand that vaginal delivery also ensures child gets a healthy dose of mother's gut bacteria which are essential for lifelong health.

    • @uyouhaveyou
      @uyouhaveyou Před 4 lety +10

      I'm wondering that remedying this naturally might be readily possible but for being in a hygiene obsessed era in general as well as modern culture not promoting devoted time with the new baby.
      I watched my dog nurse her pups post c-section and she blew my mind with her total care and devotion. She fed them immediately whilst yet having a long scar down her tummy and so drugged up she could barely stand or stay awake. If she needed to go to the toilet she would go and be back in a flash to be with her babies. People want a pup at 6 or 8 weeks? She naturally fed hers, who were just about able to eat solids from 4 weeks, until they were 10 weeks of age. And she cleaned them and loved them and demonstrated a most beautiful natural patience. Pups should be with their mum as long as she can feed and care for them.
      I have a deep sadness with what may have led to the C-Section being necessary to add, for i was hosting 3 students then who on the second day made a huge issue over my having a dog when she was just 3 weeks pregnant (equivalent to end of 1st trimester in humans). Their religious background (although they demonstrated no evidence of having faith themselves) meant that they had inherited a regard for dogs as "unclean" and created a drama with the organisers of the trip. It was an evening of teacher and organiser and students arguing in French in my house and my dog went into a marked depression for a few days following this. I am sure this was when a pup died inside her ( - for there was an undeveloped pup came out at the c-section) and the last pup to come out didn't make it too. I knew something had happened to her with those hostile visitors. I remember there were a couple of days she seems exhausted and didn't want to come out of her bed and i actually said to a friend at that time that i hoped she had not had a miscarriage. Then i left it. Another 6 weeks and she needed a C-Section. She's such a beautiful girl and was an awesome mum and all the pups are now very healthy young dogs. I love my dog as much as one can possibly love, to the moon and back and beyond and all the way home. And she's sat next to me now and going to give her my attention now.

    • @ccgreen2000
      @ccgreen2000 Před 3 lety +1

      Marylee Macpherson and MD convenience...

    • @Sonja14athome
      @Sonja14athome Před 3 lety +9

      I have read of a female ob/gyn who, when the mother has her baby by C-section, takes a sterile sponge, collects vaginal secretions from the mother and then smears them onto the baby, primarily on the face (as that is where the "good stuff" is transferred to the baby, through the "open" areas - nose, eyes, mouth). Unfortunately I don't remember her name but her instincts are responsible for giving C-section babies the blessings of nature's gift of their mother's gut biome.

    • @jennytaylor3324
      @jennytaylor3324 Před 3 lety +1

      @@uyouhaveyou Great comment, mate. Lucky animals to have you.

    • @Lovesalluneed
      @Lovesalluneed Před 3 lety

      @@jennytaylor3324 I didn't hold back there much did i, and it wasn't really quite on topic ;'D. Bless you, thanks!
      Continuing to love and learn from my dear girls here - i have mum and kept one girl, beautiful terriers who love to explore the world in ways most terriers love to do. Is me feels so lucky to have them in my world. :)

  • @karendahl2415
    @karendahl2415 Před 5 lety +17

    Pure genius and incredible insight

  • @judygrubaugh5424
    @judygrubaugh5424 Před 5 lety +11

    Confirming relational importance clearly. Thank you

  • @nathannavarrete3791
    @nathannavarrete3791 Před 8 lety +21

    His titles don't matter. It's WHY he is doing what he is doing. There is no life in that "title talk" talk about how you feel when you read what he writes, how do you feel when you hear him talk? Why does it resonnate with you? He meets people's need for honesty that's WHY. The Toxic Culture is going to be a great book right there with "Confessions of An Economic Hitman" "Sex At Dawn" and "The Science and Philosophy of BodyTalk"

    • @CMoore8539
      @CMoore8539 Před 5 lety +1

      Nathan Navarrete I Completely Agree with You!!!

    • @Elizabethd69
      @Elizabethd69 Před 5 lety +7

      your right he meets people;s need for honesty . That seems to be a very rare quality in life today hard to find . I am thankful that this is on youtube.

  • @annatorres2587
    @annatorres2587 Před 3 lety +5

    I wish I had this information when I was expecting my children. Nevertheless, I am grateful to gain this knowledge from this amazing doctor.

  • @Jaliyajuji
    @Jaliyajuji Před 3 lety +2

    "There's a whole shi-- ... a whole range of evidence that's being ignored..." ~ I burst into laughter. Beautiful! Not four minutes in, and he's busting the paradigm. I love how he goes off-camera for a while. ~ I've been searching and *searching* tonight for articles, research, interviews (etc.) about the effects of premature birth on the person who was born premature...There's very little. I was born two months early in the late 1950s, and there are both *astounding* strengths to survive, and devastating injury, coexisting in persons born before their natural time. I've watched Dr. Maté's Wisdom of Trauma, and all I can say is...What a gift he is. Now my search lands me here. Settling in to receive. So grateful. Hopeful like I've not felt in a long, long time. (Medically retired somatic therapist who is smitten with the wisdom and heart of this most genuine healer.) ~ Thank you so much for offering this!

    • @kuibeiguahua
      @kuibeiguahua Před 2 lety +1

      We truly live in a blessed era to have access to so much wisdom from anywhere or any time, really. Even though there have been catastrophic information spread through this new networking technology we call the internet, I think the GOOD can wine

  • @camillegratton7262
    @camillegratton7262 Před 5 lety +17

    He is amazing

  • @krisvictoria8810
    @krisvictoria8810 Před 3 lety

    Fantastic teacher! God bless you!🥰

  • @anouskak6749
    @anouskak6749 Před 3 lety +7

    I love him, I'm so grateful for his intuitions and knowledge

  • @sophiakh9590
    @sophiakh9590 Před 5 lety +7

    Great talk 💖 Thank you for posting!

  • @mollycote1021
    @mollycote1021 Před rokem

    Incredible wisdom! So grateful I found him!

  • @nantuluna4731
    @nantuluna4731 Před 3 lety

    Thank You Dr Gabor Mate, su labor es grande, mucha admiracion siento por Usted.

  • @clairewalsh5306
    @clairewalsh5306 Před 3 lety +3

    This work is a love gift to the world. Thank you.

  • @joy96815
    @joy96815 Před 8 lety +13

    Thanks for the upload.

  • @SuperInsight123
    @SuperInsight123 Před rokem

    Incredibly insightful! Thank you.

  • @Sassysmile71
    @Sassysmile71 Před 4 lety +2

    Thank you, everything you say makes so much sense, you are amazing !!!

  • @sorro9384
    @sorro9384 Před 3 lety +2

    Oh man I love this guy!

  • @Kojack3686
    @Kojack3686 Před 5 lety +5

    Amazing speaker. Thank you for sharing.

  • @duskaAEQ2022
    @duskaAEQ2022 Před 4 lety +5

    Thank you for your knowledge and wonderful energy.

  • @quickimod6008
    @quickimod6008 Před 3 lety +2

    I have learnt only from yhis brilliant compassionate inquiry, he is the teacher of our times. I am grateful i was given an intro.. Engaging in studying everthing i can here im home and happy for yhe 1st time 60 yrs in a few days... Longest journey as an artist. Mother. Disabled... Hard hell yes... But worth everything... Im glad for myself... Thr body sais no... Absolutely. Xx thabk u xx, stress gone xx

  • @jennyquezada9644
    @jennyquezada9644 Před 5 lety +12

    Childhood Emotional Neglect

  • @jennytaylor3324
    @jennytaylor3324 Před 3 lety +2

    I love that Maté puts more store by anecdotal evidence than evidence-based 'science'. I had a stressful childhood. I'm sitting here age 45 in the middle of a very rough early menopause, which began at 42-43. I assumed it was just bad luck; a lottery I didn't win. The more I've researched the subject, the more the evidence suggests that stressed female children tend to reach puberty earlier (before 12). I was 11. Those same girls then have a drastically increased chance of hitting menopause early, or more prematurely (before 45) than others of their age group.

  • @erwin3056
    @erwin3056 Před 2 lety +1

    I can also listen to Gabor Mate for 3 days. It was a WOW moment when he spoke about the toxic culture most of us are 'trapped' in... Amazing work, thank you.

  • @clintd7769
    @clintd7769 Před 3 lety +1

    Real deal this guy.... love you brother!

  • @elizabethmolnar4643
    @elizabethmolnar4643 Před 2 lety

    He's one of the best... amoungst a few of the best. Thank Dr. Gabor Maté.

  • @hydro743
    @hydro743 Před 2 lety

    Full of knowing, part of the solution for sure. Great talk.

  • @wonderfulwenna2710
    @wonderfulwenna2710 Před 2 lety +1

    Respect and ❤️ this man.

  • @Herbalistic
    @Herbalistic Před 5 lety +4

    So important!

  • @TheRolexseller
    @TheRolexseller Před 2 lety

    Thank you Dr. Maté.

  • @susannovello2431
    @susannovello2431 Před 3 lety +1

    Amazing! It’s so simple if you think about it. It’s common sense

  • @l23918
    @l23918 Před rokem +1

    I love this man, I wish him and his family the best.

  • @Sashas-mom
    @Sashas-mom Před 4 lety +3

    Three fourths of the way through this amazing video Sat Dharam Kaur speaks. I’ve never been interested in any form of yoga until this moment.

  • @mollymatthews1660
    @mollymatthews1660 Před 2 lety

    Connections so makes sense and elegantly stated

  • @thomasmaddox5638
    @thomasmaddox5638 Před 3 lety +2

    Brilliant! Dr. Mate has given the world something terribly precious - INSIGHT to the psyche!!!

  • @adagurl71
    @adagurl71 Před 7 měsíci

    The lady's question at 1:11.53 is where I am at. Gabor is a wonderful human being

  • @shishabell1
    @shishabell1 Před 3 lety

    Thankyou for your help ...the only truth I have heard which has helped me to realise so much within me that has to be addressed...

  • @marianasalles242
    @marianasalles242 Před 2 lety

    He is just an amazing, brilliant person🙏🏻❤️✨🌍🌱

  • @user-lb6mz5ik4m
    @user-lb6mz5ik4m Před 3 lety

    i whish to the world only! a doctors like you!

  • @cosmicbull208
    @cosmicbull208 Před 2 lety +2

    you’re a gift Dr. Maté …. thank you for you. i’m so grateful for you and your teachings. no more words to express the gratitude 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

  • @jessicamorales2555
    @jessicamorales2555 Před 2 lety +1

    Exactly, it seems there is no end to Gsbor's brilliance
    🤩

  • @hilulimrestaurant-melbourn4185

    I wish this information would be more learnt ,thank you Dr Gabor,your wisdom and knowledge is inspiring.

  • @valpaden5869
    @valpaden5869 Před 2 lety +1

    People interested in becoming parents should listen to this. It would have changed everything I did (and I thought I did ok back then). It’s something I will pass on to my children when they consider children.

  • @Maria-fm2cg
    @Maria-fm2cg Před 3 lety +1

    Great talk and all makes so much sense. Thank you! Finally these crucial information are becoming more available to educate ourselves and understand more clearly so we have the possibility to heal from inside out.

  • @violetfirth9417
    @violetfirth9417 Před 2 lety

    Dr. Gabor is the only therapist I can believe

  • @rosyloveslearning3013
    @rosyloveslearning3013 Před 2 lety

    I LOVE this man. LOVE. 🙏🏼

  • @nathannavarrete3791
    @nathannavarrete3791 Před 8 lety +15

    Multi-generational trauma 8th chakra pathology. So real and true.

  • @justwatch902
    @justwatch902 Před 3 lety

    So much wisdom! I’m getting my own theraphy through all his talks and books... what a relief is not my fault

  • @anastasiak7762
    @anastasiak7762 Před 3 lety +2

    Thank you dr. Gabor mate. Your wisdom is truly enlightening and since ive became a mother ive been reading your books and watching your videos on CZcams. Thank you for sharing so much wisdom.

  • @sabineliebherr5765
    @sabineliebherr5765 Před rokem +1

    I am flabbergasted about the low level of the questions while I admire the patience you keep and the attention you are paying to them. Just remember the obituary of the family having lost their four sons in battle in Stalingrad, saying 'In stolzer Trauer'. Maybe your audience doesn't want to hear that

  • @sgm6603
    @sgm6603 Před 3 lety +2

    The most amazing man.

  • @anac3316
    @anac3316 Před 3 lety +2

    This is the best speech ever this is realistic
    How are children going to cop with their future of the trauma of Cov 19

  • @Booboodoom
    @Booboodoom Před rokem

    There was so much knowledge, so many books written on trauma, ADHD, addiction, toxicity of the culture we live in, emotional detachment, and depression. However, it takes an incredibly brilliant mind to connect all these areas of research into the big picture and show how we all are affected by it, "normal people", not just those "faulty" ones of us that should be taken care of in "institutions". Gabor Mate is deservedly becoming one of the few ourstanding characters in the history of psychology to pioneer a series of breakthroughs in our understanding of the deep nature of human mental messups. You are a life-saver, Gabor. Thank you for your gift.

  • @lilajaynep.4986
    @lilajaynep.4986 Před 5 lety +6

    Awesomeness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @chelseamoniquemorrisprinci8856

    So so thankful