@@hennyknows yea, the bigger they’ve gotten (pause) the more they’ve pandered. Agree or disagree I think this was a good convo to have… but l they always dismiss man perspectives as toxic.
Men display leadership through 1. Protection 2. Decision making 3. Emotional support 4. Being a Role model 5. Financial support irregaurdless of who makes more money
Rihanna as a billionaire needs none of these things though. He is basically a plaything to her. You can argue she still needs emotional support, even tho she has a mental health TEAM, but then he is just a girlfriend.
Ever since Joe started getting bread, he’s neutral on every controversial topic. That’s why Flip is there; to say all the shit he no longer allows himself to say.
The issue isn’t about women with more money, but like usual (as Melissa insinuated in the story,) it’s how she conducts herself in the relationship while making more than him.. Men aren’t really intimidated by a lady with more, it’s just the attitude we don’t wanna deal with
@@djwoosie98 There’s a propensity that women who make more than a man will use it as ammunition whenever there’s a disagreement or when he may put his foot down on a decision. Some women can be very condescending in their tonality and can be quick to throw his “lack their of” back at him. It’s unfortunate
Exactly 😂.... Many women make lots and lots of money and act like a sweet humble woman with a backbone and knows how to talk and conduct herself in public and private... Just because your money is long it doesn't mean you're the shit or wanted... It means you're successful at your job or profession
It’s a cover, the story is about Rihanna life. He is confident in the space he is in and both know what they have and he doesn’t feel threaten by her success. And I’m sure in any other situation she is respecting him as a man. Cudos to both of them for ignoring the noise. People are gonna talk no matter what.
Exactly. Asap rocky has done his thing in the space he choose he has accomplished what he wanted. Rhianna did the same the mag was just about her because she is doing shows and been gone for a min.
He always speaks for the insecure man fr, I would also say he talking facts if I was brainwashed by the colonizer's idea of what I'm supposed to be as a man.
I really didn’t think the cover was that deep. I saw it was about her and being a mother. Some of the men are just so sensitive and looking for something to be mad about.
We in the Caribbean look at the cover shoot as a celebration yet black Americans looking for a baseless debate about who is leading who this is a negative false narrative...We don't look at those issues in the Caribbean for women play a central role in the household and applaud our Caribbean sister for standing out may she continue to shine
Don't no self respecting man want or need to be in relationship where the woman is the leader. maybe some open relationship where the girl is doing whatever she wants but not anything serious.
@@ghettogov6161 My reply was based on the Vogue picture. I have no idea what goes on in ASAP Rocky and Rihanna's relationship - It's none of my business.
The cover is atrocious! Toxic and out of order as previous vogue covers always have men in a protective and leadership role. Except the one with Kanye ( a black man who's woman is at the front leading him) and Kim k. He's in a feminine role, look at his open vest, it's like he breast fed the baby! Black men should have been outraged.
@@bass6ix651 he's on fucking VOGUE magazine..if you can't see how it's bigger than him you're part of the problem. It's new age programming. Exactly why the black community is done for.
@@Stampedbyhenry the real problem is perspective, with the right mindset, one can clearly notice that society leads with propaganda, folks nowadays struggle with simple logic, our community isnt struggling for proper representation, why are you looking at british vogue magazine cover to justify the downfall of a whole community u tweaking my guy!
Thank you, Melissa! That was my first question when he asked it, "What is your definition of leadership?" Taking out the trash? Loading the dishwasher? Paying the mortgage? Getting the kids ready for school? Taking kids to football practice or piano lessons? Very important conversation that require more open minded, well read opinions (not you Melyssa)
In a loving relationship, it shouldn't matter who makes the most money. That being said, the man I love will have my back and in my mind I feel protected no matter where he is in a picture. As long as Rihanna and Asap Rocky are happy, who are we to judge his position in one picture. Smh.
The story us ABOUT RIHANNA! Of course she's in the front! My God. The fragile egos. This has nothing to do with $. Also define leadership. Leadership depends on the relationship of the two people.
Y'all arguing over Rocky's perceived image in the relationship while he's laughing all the way to the bank because of that exact cover. I'm sure Flacko doesn't care one bit 😂
You are thinking from a western point of view though and maybe some other cultures that adopt the same practices. not all cultures put the man as the head. In fact a lot of cultures don’t even recognise the “Nuclear family” structure. There are cultures that family is community based, a group of select people will make decisions for the community while others have their assigned responsibilities, you will even see some men lower in hierarchy to a woman in such communities and factor is not gender based mainly age experience and wisdom usually known as elders.
@@theverbalunderground I know you are trying to bait me out here and I was honestly going to ignore you, but I’m a strong believer in sharing knowledge, if you were really bothered you will not need to ask me this, Google is free I’m sure you have a library near you too which will provide you enough reference. Either way my culture is a very good example, I’m Nigerian, Yoruba to be exact. Women in Yoruba culture originally before they were colonised and adopted western ways were not regarded being below the man but rather being an equal. In fact women actually took leadership roles in certain aspects of Yoruba culture for example in our traditional religion. To further extend my original point there are Matriarchal tribes look that up, I have already written too much and there is a lot to explain but if you are really interested and not trying to be a smart ass then that can be your starting point, goodluck!
But it was a personal question, so it’s up to the individual to decide what leadership in a relationship means to them. Mel viewed it as a general question instead of a personal one.
All these men talking bout men should be the leader, but unable to define what that looks like in a relationship. It's 2023, no more leadership, how bout Partnership.
Women want supportive men, not men pumping their chest expecting to be a leader of something just because he's a man. Also leadership isn't based on $. Wow, people have a poor idea of what makes a relationship work. Their minds are in the dark ages. Had Rhianna been walking 3 paces behind dude holding the baby men would have been happy. It's 2023 not 1823.
7:34 Woman berating the older financially successful woman for emasculating her fiance, but men do this all the time when they want " submissive eomen". That's the female version of " emasculate" A man who is leader makes more woman has the control and women are expected to submit and be happy with that because our patriarchal society has accepted this as the socially acceptable way to view and treat women. But when a woman makes more money and expects the man to be submissive it's wrong. See the hypocritical double standard? A woman is expected to be happily submissive no matter how successful she is, but a man is never to feel emasculated by her or society no matter what, even if he's unsuccessful, his fragile masculine ego is to be protected at all costs! Chile pluuueze!😅
But wasn’t the article about RIHANNA and HER life as a new mom and HER family? So if she’s the star of that particular story, SHOULDNT she be highlighted on the cover? DISCLAIMER: I have NOT read the story I’m just going off of what I’ve read online.
No disrespect intended to either of you ladies....so I truly say this with good intent...I don't think women will understand where a "Man's Man" is coming from on this one....even if it's about her then as a "Man's Man" we don't have to be on the cover OR we can be beside...but on a COVER n the COVER of a huge publication at that, a Man's Man (n BLACK MAN) looks at this as being emasculated... so yes for some of us it actually is that deep
Who ever has the vision and the plan to get ahead as a unit (family) should be the so called “leader” of the household and EVERYBODY in the household should be on board, children included.
The only time "head of household" is a matter is during tax season. Married couples have the option of filing jointly or individually as "head of the household". Outside of that discussions such as this seem to revert to mixed public opinion. Some marriages work well with a person accepting a workable dynamic within their home. I love Rhianna & ASAP Rocky's relationship. They're both leading & doing what works for them.
I agree, but the crazy thing is even with taxes, Head of Household is for single filers with dependents who pay more than 50% of the household expenses so the term itself in no way is meant to present unity.
My parents and grandparents are still married. I've never seen them fixate on being the "leader" or "making all the decisions". They work together. With my parents, my dad earned more for most of my childhood and my mom still handled all of the finances - she said when we would take vacation, whether I could take up another instrument or do the school trip abroad, etc. My dad was my tutor, coach, and couneselor. My grandpa cooked, my grandma cleaned. When my grandparents were dating my grandpa moved across the country with my grandma as she was pursuing a PhD. This is just a few examples. Sometimes you got to just put your ego aside and work together. This sort of pressure to make all the decisions and be the main breadwinner sounds exhausting.
@@cutecub1495 that’s great for your grandparents and parents and I agree, life is more peaceful, successful, and simply happy when egos are not a part of the equation and as long as the role is positive and needed, it doesn’t matter who does it and it should be whose strongest at it. Who cooks better? Who handles money better? That’s what builds true generational change and growth.
@@nmw654 @Serah M It always seems when societal norms are regarded over what works for a couple there lies the problem. I would tell anyone to validate themselves before seeking outside validation if they even need it in the first place.
I know there’s a lot more to leadership than just risking my own life but if that’s what I have to do then you’re following my lead. I’m not putting my life on the line for someone who don’t even listen to me.
To be honest the realest person on the pod was flip, Ford said nothing, Joe was being a clown character, ish actually gave some real insight and I don't know what the hell parks was talking about
This goes into a deeper converstation of how we view money in our society and how we determine a person's value by how much money they make. You can have a male teacher that makes 50k a year and a drug dealer that makes 50k a month and generally, a woman would find the drug dealer more attractive because of the amount of money he makes. And it goes beyond relationships
@@janeli4616 The conversation on the podcast was if money is the determining factor for who leads the household. My point is that the conversation relates to how we look at money in general in our society and how we determine the value of someone based on how much money they make
I think, in this new century, leadership roles are less about gender. And rocky has already done vogue multiple times as other important covers before. This is about rihanna AND her family. Her return, superbowl etc.
Y’all sound crazy 😜 I would’ve been holding the baby ,pushing the scroller , washing the ditches and clothes. That man riding a billion dollars and it ain’t no dirty bills either 😂
My girl got a 9-5 she got stability I'm a self employed business man with a security firm when business slow she chips in when I'm high I got it no worries she listens she follows money don't mean a damn thing if your chick ain't all for you 💯
Most men are ego driven. However, if you are secure in your manhood, you are not phased by your woman getting hers even if it more than yours. Never dim your woman's light to let yours shine.
Genuinely confused on how this magazine cover is toxic. I'm sure rihanna would be cool with asap rocky being on the cover and holding the baby. Men as a whole need to stop being so insincure about leading in a relationship 😂😂😂😂 as a man it's pretty pathetic imo
I didn’t find the cover toxic either, but men should ABSOLUTELY lead in relationships. Women who do “lead” in relationships/marriages have a higher divorce rate. It’s rooted in males to be the provider and leader in a relationship/family/house structure. But feminism in America now a days will tell you other wise.
Because it doesn’t really depict them as a “couple” or even that they’re in love. It just kinda looks like “RiRi, featuring her baby daddy…” Him & the baby are basically just accessory props for the photo shoot.
@@janeli4616 sure, but it’s not a vanity title at all here. in the west they may tell you that. The man should be the primary provider for his wife and family which would also mean he’s the bread winner, all final decisions in regards to finances,kids,and family structure should go through the man. Preciate the feedback💯.
I think it might’ve been British Vogue’s idea to put Rihanna in the front, because she’s definitely bigger in fame than ASAP. But it was probably to PRESENT her family 🙌. Like, “This is the famous-Rihanna Fenty’s-family, (ASAP & Baby in the back).”
Black men: "Hey, can you guys please stop depicting us as feminine, subservient, docile, partners to our women?" Social media: "OMG, YOURE BEING SO TOXIC!"
As a black man, that cover didn’t make me feel any of that. The reason they’re calling a lot of you toxic is because you’re trying to speak for everyone. Some men don’t mind having his woman lead. That doesn’t make him feminine or subservient
@@dvonnlynch1607literally by definition that makes him submissive. Personally I don’t think this pic displays that. But I don’t agree with a man letting his woman lead. That’s not toxic, The kids want men to be women and women to be men. That shits cringee
Idk about that - there are still men and women who very much expect the guy to lead a household or at the very least take most of the financial responsibilities
I’ll define leadership since they wouldn’t: it’s having a vision or blueprint for the direction you want the family to go. 5, 10, 20+ year and multigenerational financial plan, parenting styles, value system, the roles you each play, etc
LEAD TO WHAT!?? WHAT OTHER DIRECTION IS THE MAN GOING TO TAKE!?? THE WOMAN HAS MADE OVER 600 MILLION DOLLARS ALREADY. What possibly can asap Rocky direct her too!?.. Protection!?? She don't need it she can afford oresedentisl security! Let's be honest here lol
Thank you this was a simple question, not sure why nobody could answer... It's possible for a man to have good leadership qualities in his relationship and not be the breadwinner. In my last relationship I was always the primary or sole breadwinner, but I never expected to lead for any reason other than that I was more qualified to do so. Level-headedness, self-discipline, accepting accountability, seeing the big picture, being able to plan and execute. That is what qualifies someone to lead, not income.
Cmon man the bread winner doesn’t do everything in the household too. Rihanna was rich before they even hooked up right? There is no “leading” left to do in that household. Raising the child is everything, and when there’s 2 parents nobody is in the back.
Leadership in a relationship is the captain of the ship, we made decisions as a team but when it comes to the biggest decisions I make those last calls, I form our world essentially, I’m building the foundation of the house to the point where all you have to do is come in and do the interior but I built it with my hands. When it comes to X financials, you have a say and can make choices but if we wanna buy a car or if you want to buy a car you run it though me so I can make sure it’s best for us or you
My God we gotta stop tearing down families because someone or something is being done in a family THAT AIN'T YOURS they in-love celebrate that stop oh its inmasculate this ain't the 40s or 50s
They should have just answered Mel's request. I think they ain't want to jump off the deep end and out and say they think "women should always take a backseat to their man's word" Avoiding the foot in their mouth like Joe said he was going to do.
Ish laid out that women predicate leadership off of being the financial breadwinner in the household.. and he asked if women make the most money does that make them the leader of the household. WHAT MORE ELABORATION IS NEEDED 😭
Mel’s question was very valid! Everyone does define “leadership” as something different sometimes. She want to talk about what YOURE talking about. Let’s get on the same page THEN answer the question.
Ish knows damn well that in order for debate to happen, you have to first agree on the usage and definitions of terms that aren’t well-defined. ‘Leadership’ can mean so many things that it’s impossible to honestly debate if you’re arguing using different definitions.
Exactly, and also, if it's not being defined based on finances/income then in a HEALTHY relationship there really isn't a "leader"... it's a partnership.
That’s a great question from Mel. I have yet to see a solid answer on what leadership in a relationship looks like. What are you leading? What decisions are you trying to make that she shouldn’t? Where you live? The kids school? What? Going to war or defending from danger is extreme, low probability scenarios… what’s the day to day leadership look like?
Personally I find Leadership in a relationship as a man as this. BOTH people find a problem or task that needs doing, They both discuss it and the leader either doas the hardest part of the solution whilst guiding the other as well, Or the leader takes on the whole issue themself. For example if the car breaks down, I push, The wife steers. Both are equally important and on their own are pointless, Its a team effort but the leader is the one who decides on the solution and how to go about it, But also takes on the hardest part of that solution. This works well but the other needs to show appreciation and understanding for what the leader doas and the sacrafices they make. At least thats one part of it I think. Its not about Taking power or control over the other, More about taking on responsibility and burden for the sake of love.
@@amarok9749 Having it narrowed down to just having the final say… I get that and I agree on that especially in important scenarios. In my opinion leadership in that aspect, concerning men is very seldom needed or exercised in the day to day of a relationship or marriage. Women make more of the day to day decisions in the households than their men do… i Leadership on the internet just looks like a feel good title men want to beat their chest about, but seldom exercised or required daily. Lizzo hate or love her… in her song said “Why men great until they gotta be great” is true because men today fold in the scenarios they have to show leadership in, because their leadership is seldom tested but they expect/want the title.
@@RashonWill I understand your point and Im inclined to agree to be honest. The "Final say" aspect I mentioned however isnt something I would ever want to "enforce" as much as I would hope for a relationship with an understanding between both partners that one person takes on the resposability of certain aspects while the other takes on seperate ones. However you make a good point, Women do infact typically take on more responsibilty in the home than men do, So that respect should 100% be put in their favor, As it should the other way too (Assuming the man is working, Therefore doing his part) Ultimately its a joint effort. And with the Lizzo mention I pretty much agree too, There are a lot of men (Typically young/inexperienced ones I would say) Who "DEMAND" respect and status despite not making any effort to be the Men they claim to be, Some women do this too so its not exclusive to gender in my opinion however. All in all I think good comunication and a restraint over ego is a good start to a healthy relationship.
@@amarok9749 I can agree with everything you said as well, only push back I have is you saying “the man is working, and thus doing his part” I think a lot of guys unfortunately have to realize that these days that’s not all you have to or should be doing anymore. If we’re dealing with a two parent/income home just going to work isn’t enough because more than likely we both do that. I watched my parents marriage and my mom would tend to the kids (3 of us), work, cook, clean, rake leaves, wash cars, cut grass, etc and all my dad did was come home, take a s**t, shower, eat and watch pre-recorded soap operas… watched that every day of the week be the scenario. That put a bad taste in my mouth about men, having kids, and marriage to be honest, because how he just sat there and mom worked around the clock… if that’s the case and that load is going to be on me and you get to claim leader just because…I don’t want any of it. He covered all bills, and I’m sure people looked at him a certain way because of that, but there was so much he didn’t do. My mom worked a job sometimes but as a child I knew that wasn’t going to me enough for me when I got older. It was all unfair, unbalanced and I’m big on balance and equal contribution in the house. Leadership has to be earned and proven not a freely given title and if we start there by having people prove that instead of just placing people there based on gender I think we can move forward… if you do the least you’re not a leader you’re a helper.. and I think a lot of people need to realize that at some point
How about it’s a statement. Yes, globally she’s the megastar, but this is her family! Wherever she goes, she’s taking them with her. Rihanna and Rocky are both winning bc the maturity level is impeccable!!! 💙💜
The man is the spiritual leader of the household (the priest of his home) The man is the physical leader (the strength/protector of his home) The man leads in training the children (legacy) The man provides (yes monetarily but also in providing a sense of security, safety and confidence in his family) This is healthy and mature leadership. Not a man usurping his power over a woman and being abusive.
Ish knows his take is weak as fuck so when she asks to define what leadership is it's a tap out? Lol dawg cuz if it's DEFINED your stance is now in the garbage. Ish knows this idk why he thought it was just a "simple answer" the simple answer is "No" but we're adults not kids who need 1 word answers man lol.
Whys this soo hard to get. Leadership comes in different forms. In a marriage, each partner should lead based on who has stronger strength at the circumstance.
Leadership is someone who makes the rules and is being submitted to. That goes into how to raise the kids, who controls most of the decision making and intimacy.
I think the answer mel should’ve gave that was simple is “not necessarily” and ish I agree that JUST because rocky makes less money shouldn’t be weaponized as a “yeah you better bow down” However ish believes that more wealthy or not the man should ALWAYS be the leader, which they never addressed that point. Personally I don’t think the man ALWAYS has to be the leader. In the example flip gave obviously the man in that situation is the “leader” doesn’t mean he should be, and it’s not because of him being broke, it’s because he’s not built to lead via his personality. The whole leader discussion is stupid anyway. the reality is in relationships people bring their individual strengths. So when situations arise and you have more strength for the situation you lead. if the wife is a architect, she design building and such bet, if something go wrong in the house she should be the first to reach and try and fix the problem cause you have a lot of knowledge. But if the man is a nurse or emt or doctor if someone is sick, bleeding, etc he should be the one first to be leading and giving directions because he knows most. But ego is the problem for most. To where based off of intelligence in an area or money the man or woman feels they need to lead in EVERY situation even when they may not be best equipped to do so
JBP try’s so hard. Joe’s been shook every since he said he didn’t like Megan and then immediately moonwalked. Whoever called him scared the hell out of him. Now we got Melissa Ford every week.
She is the billable star. There would be no Vogue cover without her. The fact that she allowed her man to be on the cover with her, the Super Star says that she hold him at the highest level of value. So many other celebs would have had themselves and their baby on the cover. They are not married, but she holding her man up to the world in this cover saying "This is who I choose!" Much respect to her and him for showing the world 🌎 how as Black couples we can hold shit down. Props to Black love making the rounds! This topic is another reason for people to place labels on Black women as being too "strong"! A women getting the bag, Smdh! In the eyes of the world as being a Black Women we can't win. That should be the topic. Toxic culture against Black women. Who go respect us if even yall can't?
This is one of the most sensible takes I have see on this topic 👏🏿. It has made me realise how everyone perceives/interprets things differently based on their ideologies and environment. Tbh I never thought about the aspect of her telling the world that this is who she chose, it makes sense since some people have this sense that ASAP is not good enough for her so this is her emphasising how important he is to her. And to be honest she is the focus so of course he’s not going to be front and centre.
Leadership is creating foundation to achieve and possess a safe and loving environment in the household with standards and guidelines ( rules) to abide by to establish and maintain a healthy atmosphere. A man and a women can both do this for their family if they come together and are kindred in souls and spirit… we are yet again back to square one because we don’t approach topics the more wholesome way, except create separation discord and competitiveness in the family dynamic…. If both of them were billionaires, who would be the “leader”then? Again, we need to realize what’s more important- it’s not the damn money, it’s their personalities, their morals and their beliefs that will ultimately mold their children. Everyone soul in the world needs the balance of masculine and feminine , or at-least a healthy synergy. Being a billionaire don’t save you from being a murderer , being poor don’t hold you back from being polite.
Some people complain about how the media depicts us as thugs or criminals, but then reach hella hard to get offended about ASAP Rocky's positioning on a magazine. Some of y'all have more energy for stupid issues that have zero effect on your lives than you do things that actually matter. You gotta have low self-esteem to try to force the world to conform to your beliefs.
I don’t think they are talking about his outfit. They are speaking on him being behind rihanna holding her hand and carrying their child which i agree is stupid.
@cmbrock1 I honed in on a different aspect of the same topic. Regardless of if it's the outfit or his positioning in relation to Riri, people need to invest their energy into better avenues.
She basically only checking for dudes based on finances! She told on herself without telling I herself lol She tapped danced around that question like a mofo 😂
Facts she just didn't want to answer it honestly they should have asked her would she marry a man who makes less money than her because she would have said no
@@Zackey-Zackk I don’t think that’s a fair question to ask her. Her net worth is way less than Rihanna’s. Majority of women are looking for security in a relationship and that includes finances. Unless you are a billionaire yourself where no amount of money anyone brings in matters, you will want to marry a man who makes more. Unless you want to struggle and slave the rest of your life. But that doesn’t have anything to do with the cover. Ppl are thinking too hard abt that.
@@wonton_soup805 That's nothing but a goddamn excuse It all boils down to what women want in a man as a leader One of those things is having money in their bank account so they can spend his money and keep theirs for whatever they want to
@@Zackey-Zackk I’m sorry you had such a bad experience with women that that’s what you have in your mind. Unfortunately tho, that doesn’t change that women are looking for security. Whether that be finances, emotional support, commitment - it all boils down to one word Security. If a man cannot provide that they will find someone who will. A marriage or union is an investment. You’re supposed to be setting up a future for yourself, your spouse, and your children if you choose to have them. You can’t secure that with “dust”. That’s why any women of means have those standards. You can even make the same amount. But less than that, that’s literally nothing but a lifetime of struggle. Women, and especially black women, are tired of “struggle love”. Nobody’s future will be secure struggling.
Ish was trying to say when a woman makes more money her values decrease but when a man makes more more hid value increases. A man making a lot of money will draw in more women than a woman making more money. A woman making more money usually don't settle with a man making less....period.
Leading a household: your following my morals, my principles, my standards, my discipline as a man for our children for my/our last name…? Moral of the story the man makes the money. But money makes the woman.
Put it like this: ASAP & the baby could be totally cropped out, and this wouldn’t change the dynamic or messaging of this cover in the least bit. They’re literally being depicted as insignificant accessories to “her” life, not like they are important parts of each other’s lives, or they’re the new “power couple” in the industry…
Great point‼️ I mean let’s be real it’s not like ASAP is a top rapper the majority of people can’t name 5 songs from him including me all we really know is he’s had a few hits and is known for fashion never been known as a business man.
@@jg122487 All media is propaganda programming. The photography team & coordinators could’ve come up w/ a million other ways of depicting them as a “couple,” yet they chose this pose where she’s essentially completely detached. You can’t tell me that they look “together” or even in love from this photo shoot.
@@jg122487 Barely. Their hands aren’t even closed fists, & that’s not even a natural pose or way to walk & hold hands. Technically the way his feet are positioned, he would be standing on her left side, but is “holding” her right hand? That would be the most awkward way to walk down a beach w/ your lover. Looks like he’s being led like a child by a single mother. Where’s the eye contact? Why aren’t they side by side? Why’s he so much smaller & in the background? There’s more affection shown between Asap & the baby, than there is Rihanna & the rest of her “family.”
as a black man who is VERY WATCHFUL of how media portrays us , the Vogue cover wasnt a big deal THE FOCUS is Rhianna not Rocky lol now IF THE cover focus was ROCKY then the picture needs to be him leading
Why not just have Rihanna as the lead if she is the main lead in the photo. Or have them side by side if they are "equal" partners. Having rocky trail from the back implies he is following her direction, and it's subcommucating that visually and projecting that message to a wide audience. It does beg a discussion about gender roles tho.
@@onemanarmy1873 child please far from doomed lol it’s HER COVER moment not his and she wanted her family in it aint like she had the nigga on a dog leash 🤣
@@jman1562001 I mean girls take their men’s hands and walk forward all the time at beach’s, amusement parks, running into stores lol I took the cover more as a MOMENT rather than the actual dynamic of the relationship if that makes sense
I think people are looking too deep into this back front Sideways It looks like a loving family and everyone looks beautiful ! And yes a man should be the leader of the house not a cover primarily about his wife
When they say “Lead” the house hood I think that’s a vague question. I think you have to be more specific making all executive decisions… In that case, no one is willing to make more money, but have someone else make the decisions
“What is leadership to you?” is a funny question to ask when the word is in the dictionary. I think that’s in part ppls problems nowadays. They seek to redefine everything.
@@janeli4616 can you expand more on that please? What exactly do you mean there is no one definition when you can Google it and find the meaning of a word?
Yo when Ice and Ish first got there this show was on fire. They silenced Ice for real. He don't wanna say anything controversial anymore. The show was no as entertaining, That's why Joe brought in Mel and big dude.
What they should have established is that every relationship has a dom and a sub. One person makes the tough decisions for the betterment of the family. You can make less money, and still control how the money is spent for the betterment of the family. You can make less money, and still decide how your children will be raised, how they will be punished. You can make less money, and decide what image your family will show to the world in private and in public. It's slightly controlling, but it's for the betterment of your family. Most decisions can be made together, but the hard decisions are chosen by the leader of the family. Usually that's the protector, that's the head of the household, money is shared when you're married, you have a total wealth when it comes to the household, but couples should also establish their role in the relationship. If you don't set rules, and roles, chores, duties, and bills, it's a recipe for disaster. But, at the same time, no one should feel trapped, stuck, or forced, both sides have to see eye to eye on everything.
The issue wasn't the pic. The issue was "yeah he better play the back because she makes more money...". The question is does the bag determine leadership roles in a relationship?
So the answer is no, a man cannot lead in a house hold if he doesn’t make more money because based on her story (and the trend in society), if a woman makes more, she tends to emasculate the man directly or indirectly because of that. Not in 100% of the relationships that exist but in most, a woman making more money has a hard time allowing the lesser performing man lead. And why would someone making more allow the lesser to lead? Just reverse the roles. Since so much is contingent upon finance, whether the higher earner is equipped to lead or not, they have the big joker (money) in the relationship.
Only person on point was the guy in the pink hood, society can’t have a mature dialogue without being trigger and check their lack of emotional intelligence.
This was an important conversation that they really fumbled
Trust me, and this is why I dont watch when they speak on relationships. Ish wanted to speak on it but they all dodging.
@@hennyknows yea, the bigger they’ve gotten (pause) the more they’ve pandered. Agree or disagree I think this was a good convo to have… but l they always dismiss man perspectives as toxic.
Sums up the entire pod lately
Facts
Very much so
Men display leadership through
1. Protection
2. Decision making
3. Emotional support
4. Being a Role model
5. Financial support irregaurdless of who makes more money
Oh you answered the question like Ish should have lol
Rihanna as a billionaire needs none of these things though. He is basically a plaything to her. You can argue she still needs emotional support, even tho she has a mental health TEAM, but then he is just a girlfriend.
Facts
True indeed
@@romanthrower She broke down crying in the middle of a restaurant fammm. Her TEAM ain’t doing too well lmao
Ever since Joe started getting bread, he’s neutral on every controversial topic. That’s why Flip is there; to say all the shit he no longer allows himself to say.
Facts Joe be sounding like a B!tch lately
Joe is terrified of being canceled by women again
He hasn't been neutral
@@djwoosie98 Yes he has.
The issue isn’t about women with more money, but like usual (as Melissa insinuated in the story,) it’s how she conducts herself in the relationship while making more than him..
Men aren’t really intimidated by a lady with more, it’s just the attitude we don’t wanna deal with
CORRECT!
Lol, what attitude? Why are people making this about themselves
@@djwoosie98 There’s a propensity that women who make more than a man will use it as ammunition whenever there’s a disagreement or when he may put his foot down on a decision. Some women can be very condescending in their tonality and can be quick to throw his “lack their of” back at him. It’s unfortunate
@Jay Kelz how can a man put his foot down on a grown ass women? Next plenty of men do the same when they are rhe breadwinner
Exactly 😂.... Many women make lots and lots of money and act like a sweet humble woman with a backbone and knows how to talk and conduct herself in public and private... Just because your money is long it doesn't mean you're the shit or wanted... It means you're successful at your job or profession
It’s a cover, the story is about Rihanna life. He is confident in the space he is in and both know what they have and he doesn’t feel threaten by her success. And I’m sure in any other situation she is respecting him as a man. Cudos to both of them for ignoring the noise. People are gonna talk no matter what.
Well said
The only thing I got from the cover was the article was about Rihanna.
Exactly. Asap rocky has done his thing in the space he choose he has accomplished what he wanted. Rhianna did the same the mag was just about her because she is doing shows and been gone for a min.
Ish and Flip the only ones with balls. Alot of skirts in there.
Everytime ish talk it just go over ppl head. They don’t be listening smh 🤦🏽♂️ he really talkin Facts
They just got the panda no Jutsu going so they will never listen to Ish.
Nigga dropped gems on em
He always speaks for the insecure man fr, I would also say he talking facts if I was brainwashed by the colonizer's idea of what I'm supposed to be as a man.
I really didn’t think the cover was that deep. I saw it was about her and being a mother. Some of the men are just so sensitive and looking for something to be mad about.
We in the Caribbean look at the cover shoot as a celebration yet black Americans looking for a baseless debate about who is leading who this is a negative false narrative...We don't look at those issues in the Caribbean for women play a central role in the household and applaud our Caribbean sister for standing out may she continue to shine
Why wasn't she carrying her new born baby then?
@@skgsinc1833 Why should she? Her baby looked quite content in the arms of his father.
Don't no self respecting man want or need to be in relationship where the woman is the leader. maybe some open relationship where the girl is doing whatever she wants but not anything serious.
@@ghettogov6161 My reply was based on the Vogue picture. I have no idea what goes on in ASAP Rocky and Rihanna's relationship - It's none of my business.
That just egos. Walking in love is powerful
He's supporting his woman and child. Love it
Supporting what??
The cover is atrocious! Toxic and out of order as previous vogue covers always have men in a protective and leadership role. Except the one with Kanye ( a black man who's woman is at the front leading him) and Kim k.
He's in a feminine role, look at his open vest, it's like he breast fed the baby!
Black men should have been outraged.
@@mosesscriptural1820 incel stay mad miserable
Its a picture bro, dude doesnt care who is in front he smashing the baddest b in world, subjectively speaking
Thank you!
A picture speaks a 1000 words. It's a picture but it's also a message. Stop thinking so linear
@@Stampedbyhenry a message to who it applies to, weak minds have weak stances, happiness is oozing from rocky leave him be
@@bass6ix651 he's on fucking VOGUE magazine..if you can't see how it's bigger than him you're part of the problem. It's new age programming. Exactly why the black community is done for.
@@Stampedbyhenry the real problem is perspective, with the right mindset, one can clearly notice that society leads with propaganda, folks nowadays struggle with simple logic, our community isnt struggling for proper representation, why are you looking at british vogue magazine cover to justify the downfall of a whole community u tweaking my guy!
They purposefully misunderstood Ish here.
Yeah, and i think Joe does it on purpose for content.
I found one & I'm not alone lol
No he asked a question when Melissa asked her question
Thank you, Melissa! That was my first question when he asked it, "What is your definition of leadership?" Taking out the trash? Loading the dishwasher? Paying the mortgage? Getting the kids ready for school? Taking kids to football practice or piano lessons? Very important conversation that require more open minded, well read opinions (not you Melyssa)
Lmao we know what leadership is. Stop dodging
@@RonaldMcGheeIn a relationship? Nah, y'all don't because most of y'all haven't even been in a relationship longer than 2 years.
In a loving relationship, it shouldn't matter who makes the most money. That being said, the man I love will have my back and in my mind I feel protected no matter where he is in a picture. As long as Rihanna and Asap Rocky are happy, who are we to judge his position in one picture. Smh.
The story us ABOUT RIHANNA! Of course she's in the front! My God. The fragile egos. This has nothing to do with $.
Also define leadership. Leadership depends on the relationship of the two people.
Y'all arguing over Rocky's perceived image in the relationship while he's laughing all the way to the bank because of that exact cover. I'm sure Flacko doesn't care one bit 😂
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
I'm pretty sure Rhianna is the one getting paid... But ok.
He looking weak on that cover regardless nigga look like a male nanny and I'm an Asap fan
He looking weak on that cover regardless nigga look like a male nanny and I'm an Asap fan
@@elvisvasquez7553 You really think ASAP is not getting a bag from this too? It's his image. Either way, they're both winning because they're a couple
I haven’t really heard “toxic masculinity” in a lil minute. They call shit sassy now 😭😭
Erykah Badu said recently on Breakfast Club, "I’ll offer submission IF there’s a mission." Meditate on that if you need to !
Saw that. Great point. Excellent point
Definitely a real G would understand
She said shes not s good mate....
After 11 babies she will now?
EriKa badu i a 2 or 3 times baby mother … SHES FINISHED OUT HERE
The man from the beginning of time has been the leader of the household until this new generation.
Societal structures and standards have changed. Makes sense
You are thinking from a western point of view though and maybe some other cultures that adopt the same practices. not all cultures put the man as the head. In fact a lot of cultures don’t even recognise the “Nuclear family” structure. There are cultures that family is community based, a group of select people will make decisions for the community while others have their assigned responsibilities, you will even see some men lower in hierarchy to a woman in such communities and factor is not gender based mainly age experience and wisdom usually known as elders.
Men also used to think the Sun was a scary sky god, who tf cares it’s 2023 😂
@@OO-hs6wb Name These "Cultures"?
@@theverbalunderground I know you are trying to bait me out here and I was honestly going to ignore you, but I’m a strong believer in sharing knowledge, if you were really bothered you will not need to ask me this, Google is free I’m sure you have a library near you too which will provide you enough reference. Either way my culture is a very good example, I’m Nigerian, Yoruba to be exact. Women in Yoruba culture originally before they were colonised and adopted western ways were not regarded being below the man but rather being an equal. In fact women actually took leadership roles in certain aspects of Yoruba culture for example in our traditional religion.
To further extend my original point there are Matriarchal tribes look that up, I have already written too much and there is a lot to explain but if you are really interested and not trying to be a smart ass then that can be your starting point, goodluck!
Flipz comments is why his wife not willing to help pay bills 🤣
Clearly Ish was the only one that paid attention during their Kevin Samuels interview.
Well we know Joe, and Ice definitely weren't 💯 Good catch Bruh💯
God said man is the head and woman is the neck. It’s that simple. Anyone say else believes in Satan
This conversation was actually productive and respectful I just wish Ish would've defined leadership so the conversation could've gone further.
But it was a personal question, so it’s up to the individual to decide what leadership in a relationship means to them. Mel viewed it as a general question instead of a personal one.
I don’t think he knew what to say aside from money so he didn’t.
All these men talking bout men should be the leader, but unable to define what that looks like in a relationship. It's 2023, no more leadership, how bout Partnership.
Women want supportive men, not men pumping their chest expecting to be a leader of something just because he's a man. Also leadership isn't based on $. Wow, people have a poor idea of what makes a relationship work. Their minds are in the dark ages.
Had Rhianna been walking 3 paces behind dude holding the baby men would have been happy.
It's 2023 not 1823.
7:34 Woman berating the older financially successful woman for emasculating her fiance, but men do this all the time when they want " submissive eomen". That's the female version of " emasculate"
A man who is leader makes more woman has the control and women are expected to submit and be happy with that because our patriarchal society has accepted this as the socially acceptable way to view and treat women. But when a woman makes more money and expects the man to be submissive it's wrong. See the hypocritical double standard?
A woman is expected to be happily submissive no matter how successful she is, but a man is never to feel emasculated by her or society no matter what, even if he's unsuccessful, his fragile masculine ego is to be protected at all costs!
Chile pluuueze!😅
But wasn’t the article about RIHANNA and HER life as a new mom and HER family? So if she’s the star of that particular story, SHOULDNT she be highlighted on the cover?
DISCLAIMER: I have NOT read the story I’m just going off of what I’ve read online.
I agree😂 like people are taking this too deeply. It’s a bit odd how much they flipped this.
@@cillamorales6274 WAAAAYYYY ODD!!! And WEIRD! I’m so lost on what is happening with people
No disrespect intended to either of you ladies....so I truly say this with good intent...I don't think women will understand where a "Man's Man" is coming from on this one....even if it's about her then as a "Man's Man" we don't have to be on the cover OR we can be beside...but on a COVER n the COVER of a huge publication at that, a Man's Man (n BLACK MAN) looks at this as being emasculated... so yes for some of us it actually is that deep
Very good point 👍
@@cillamorales6274 I agree just a bunch of insecure basic ass men with fragil egos complaining.
Who ever has the vision and the plan to get ahead as a unit (family) should be the so called “leader” of the household and EVERYBODY in the household should be on board, children included.
The only time "head of household" is a matter is during tax season. Married couples have the option of filing jointly or individually as "head of the household". Outside of that discussions such as this seem to revert to mixed public opinion. Some marriages work well with a person accepting a workable dynamic within their home. I love Rhianna & ASAP Rocky's relationship. They're both leading & doing what works for them.
I agree, but the crazy thing is even with taxes, Head of Household is for single filers with dependents who pay more than 50% of the household expenses so the term itself in no way is meant to present unity.
@@nmw654 This is definitely true. The implication you mentioned can be very damaging when considered from this pov.
My parents and grandparents are still married. I've never seen them fixate on being the "leader" or "making all the decisions". They work together. With my parents, my dad earned more for most of my childhood and my mom still handled all of the finances - she said when we would take vacation, whether I could take up another instrument or do the school trip abroad, etc. My dad was my tutor, coach, and couneselor. My grandpa cooked, my grandma cleaned. When my grandparents were dating my grandpa moved across the country with my grandma as she was pursuing a PhD. This is just a few examples.
Sometimes you got to just put your ego aside and work together. This sort of pressure to make all the decisions and be the main breadwinner sounds exhausting.
@@cutecub1495 that’s great for your grandparents and parents and I agree, life is more peaceful, successful, and simply happy when egos are not a part of the equation and as long as the role is positive and needed, it doesn’t matter who does it and it should be whose strongest at it. Who cooks better? Who handles money better? That’s what builds true generational change and growth.
@@nmw654 @Serah M It always seems when societal norms are regarded over what works for a couple there lies the problem. I would tell anyone to validate themselves before seeking outside validation if they even need it in the first place.
I know there’s a lot more to leadership than just risking my own life but if that’s what I have to do then you’re following my lead. I’m not putting my life on the line for someone who don’t even listen to me.
To be honest the realest person on the pod was flip, Ford said nothing, Joe was being a clown character, ish actually gave some real insight and I don't know what the hell parks was talking about
I wanted more from this conversation and I feel like they dropped the ball. Smh
Absolutely dropped it!!
"you can't just pause everything!" 🤣
8:47 how you gon say this and say pause after 😂😂😂
This goes into a deeper converstation of how we view money in our society and how we determine a person's value by how much money they make. You can have a male teacher that makes 50k a year and a drug dealer that makes 50k a month and generally, a woman would find the drug dealer more attractive because of the amount of money he makes. And it goes beyond relationships
😂😂 huh, they dont even make the same so how does that situation compare
@@janeli4616 The conversation on the podcast was if money is the determining factor for who leads the household. My point is that the conversation relates to how we look at money in general in our society and how we determine the value of someone based on how much money they make
@@CSmoothh yes I understand that part but somebody that makes 50k a month vs a year, no matter the occupation doesn’t compare. Your example was off.
@@janeli4616 How is it off? Break it down
@@CSmoothh because they don’t make the same.
I think, in this new century, leadership roles are less about gender. And rocky has already done vogue multiple times as other important covers before. This is about rihanna AND her family. Her return, superbowl etc.
Leadership roles are less about gender.. ?? That need more context
I agree It's about your ability to be a leader y'all men think is you birth right to be a leader yet you don't do what you need to do.
I agree about the second half of your post. I think most people are leaving that part out on purpose, for controversy.
@@kishataylor7789lol it’s clear as day women aren’t made to lead … and I will never in my life follow behind a woman ..
@@Dayxh8 Should I care Nope!
They was mad scared to fully dive into this convo. The old school hood homie was the only one keeping it g
Y’all sound crazy 😜 I would’ve been holding the baby ,pushing the scroller , washing the ditches and clothes. That man riding a billion dollars and it ain’t no dirty bills either 😂
My girl got a 9-5 she got stability I'm a self employed business man with a security firm when business slow she chips in when I'm high I got it no worries she listens she follows money don't mean a damn thing if your chick ain't all for you 💯
Most men are ego driven. However, if you are secure in your manhood, you are not phased by your woman getting hers even if it more than yours. Never dim your woman's light to let yours shine.
Lol she gone start trying to little boy you … fuck that
Most men are too afraid. Unfortunately, they’re scared of what other men would think.
You missed the point
@@skgsinc1833 let people have their opinion. I agree with him tbh
The underlying conversations got me dying
Her being a billionaire doesn’t make her qualified to lead 😂. Flip is the only one who was right. And the lightskin guy was right too
Genuinely confused on how this magazine cover is toxic. I'm sure rihanna would be cool with asap rocky being on the cover and holding the baby. Men as a whole need to stop being so insincure about leading in a relationship 😂😂😂😂 as a man it's pretty pathetic imo
I didn’t find the cover toxic either, but men should ABSOLUTELY lead in relationships. Women who do “lead” in relationships/marriages have a higher divorce rate. It’s rooted in males to be the provider and leader in a relationship/family/house structure. But feminism in America now a days will tell you other wise.
Because it doesn’t really depict them as a “couple” or even that they’re in love. It just kinda looks like “RiRi, featuring her baby daddy…” Him & the baby are basically just accessory props for the photo shoot.
@@vasiliyscombatsportsworld men being “leaders” in the household is a vanity title. What exactly are you taking the lead in ?
@@janeli4616 sure, but it’s not a vanity title at all here. in the west they may tell you that. The man should be the primary provider for his wife and family which would also mean he’s the bread winner, all final decisions in regards to finances,kids,and family structure should go through the man. Preciate the feedback💯.
@@vasiliyscombatsportsworld i respect your opinion but that don’t work for everybody. People should do what works in their relationship.
I think it might’ve been British Vogue’s idea to put Rihanna in the front, because she’s definitely bigger in fame than ASAP. But it was probably to PRESENT her family 🙌. Like, “This is the famous-Rihanna Fenty’s-family, (ASAP & Baby in the back).”
Bro it was a simple answer.... And most are gonna say no in public but in private it's a completely different story 😂
It's called a relationship lol. You're supposed to use each other's strengths and good qualities to make life work as easy as possible.
They are a team, not a leadership.
I love the cover.
A TEAM HAS A LEADER...TF???
Damn they really coming for ppl saying a man should be the leader of the household
2023
Black men: "Hey, can you guys please stop depicting us as feminine, subservient, docile, partners to our women?"
Social media: "OMG, YOURE BEING SO TOXIC!"
Exactly
Black men walk away
As a black man, that cover didn’t make me feel any of that. The reason they’re calling a lot of you toxic is because you’re trying to speak for everyone. Some men don’t mind having his woman lead. That doesn’t make him feminine or subservient
@@dvonnlynch1607literally by definition that makes him submissive. Personally I don’t think this pic displays that. But I don’t agree with a man letting his woman lead. That’s not toxic, The kids want men to be women and women to be men. That shits cringee
@@dvonnlynch1607 that not it either it wasnt bad until women said toxic shit
I don’t know one woman in my life who wants her man to be the leader in the household. Its 2023, We’re equal partners.
Do you believe it's an equal partnership if the man makes less than the woman? thanks in advance for your anwser.
@@mistersippiburning Yes. A relationship is not all about finances.
This is exactly how I feel. Doesn't matter who makes what. We are equal beings intellectually with lateral differences physically. Simple. 🤷🏾♀️
Idk about that - there are still men and women who very much expect the guy to lead a household or at the very least take most of the financial responsibilities
@@nelsona3468 i said woman in my life. There are woman out there but idk them and im not one of those woman.
It's his posture. I agree with Ish and Flip. Women agree with men taking the back role until someone breaks into the house
😂😂😂
@@janeli4616 lol
I agree, it's his pose that makes him look immasculated, not him standing behind her
@@elladesigns9609 exactly. That's what I'm talking about
@@elladesigns9609 Dawg what?!? 😂😂😂
I’ll define leadership since they wouldn’t: it’s having a vision or blueprint for the direction you want the family to go. 5, 10, 20+ year and multigenerational financial plan, parenting styles, value system, the roles you each play, etc
LEAD TO WHAT!??
WHAT OTHER DIRECTION IS THE MAN GOING TO TAKE!??
THE WOMAN HAS MADE OVER 600 MILLION DOLLARS ALREADY. What possibly can asap Rocky direct her too!?.. Protection!?? She don't need it she can afford oresedentisl security!
Let's be honest here lol
Do you think you have to have respect for someone to follow that vision.
@@jman1562001 100%
@@christopherayettey4390 I’m just defining what I think leadership is
Thank you this was a simple question, not sure why nobody could answer... It's possible for a man to have good leadership qualities in his relationship and not be the breadwinner. In my last relationship I was always the primary or sole breadwinner, but I never expected to lead for any reason other than that I was more qualified to do so. Level-headedness, self-discipline, accepting accountability, seeing the big picture, being able to plan and execute. That is what qualifies someone to lead, not income.
Cmon man the bread winner doesn’t do everything in the household too. Rihanna was rich before they even hooked up right? There is no “leading” left to do in that household. Raising the child is everything, and when there’s 2 parents nobody is in the back.
Leadership in a relationship is the captain of the ship, we made decisions as a team but when it comes to the biggest decisions I make those last calls, I form our world essentially, I’m building the foundation of the house to the point where all you have to do is come in and do the interior but I built it with my hands. When it comes to X financials, you have a say and can make choices but if we wanna buy a car or if you want to buy a car you run it though me so I can make sure it’s best for us or you
My God we gotta stop tearing down families because someone or something is being done in a family THAT AIN'T YOURS they in-love celebrate that stop oh its inmasculate this ain't the 40s or 50s
Such a contradiction
Lol it’s a magazine cover about her, why in the world would she not be front and center of it??
Why have rocky there then?
They should have just answered Mel's request.
I think they ain't want to jump off the deep end and out and say they think "women should always take a backseat to their man's word"
Avoiding the foot in their mouth like Joe said he was going to do.
Ish laid out that women predicate leadership off of being the financial breadwinner in the household.. and he asked if women make the most money does that make them the leader of the household. WHAT MORE ELABORATION IS NEEDED 😭
You don't answer a question with a question
Mel’s question was very valid! Everyone does define “leadership” as something different sometimes.
She want to talk about what YOURE talking about. Let’s get on the same page THEN answer the question.
Ish believes cocks is what should make someone the leader of the household. Money or not.
Your name says it all🤦🏿
Ish knows damn well that in order for debate to happen, you have to first agree on the usage and definitions of terms that aren’t well-defined. ‘Leadership’ can mean so many things that it’s impossible to honestly debate if you’re arguing using different definitions.
Thank you!
nah it went over your head too, her askin the definition proves his point
Exactly, and also, if it's not being defined based on finances/income then in a HEALTHY relationship there really isn't a "leader"... it's a partnership.
@@OnlyShakor what point
@@OnlyShakor explain?
Joe....I am saying he should be in the back holding the Baby....😂😂😂
Why single people feel like they be the leading experts on marriage and family life 😂😂😂
I mean fact of the matter is even if rihanna wasn't a business woman. As an artist alone she is 10 times the artist asap is in terms of relevancy
Ok...sooo cause she's way more relevant it has to look as if she's wearing the pants in their relationship over him?
@@wh0_odat644et's see.
Worldwide relevance? ✅
Billionaire status? ✅
Fashion empire ？✅
Facing criminal charges? ❌
@@wh0_odat644 whats wrong with yall ? How does it look like “she’s wearing the pants” in their relationship? All they’re doing is holding hands.
Relevant to who/what?? The witch only make music LMAOFF. You act as if she's saving the world.
@@mosesscriptural1820 she’s more relevant to pop culture.
That’s a great question from Mel. I have yet to see a solid answer on what leadership in a relationship looks like.
What are you leading? What decisions are you trying to make that she shouldn’t? Where you live? The kids school? What?
Going to war or defending from danger is extreme, low probability scenarios… what’s the day to day leadership look like?
Thank you, that’s what i would like to know as well.
Personally I find Leadership in a relationship as a man as this.
BOTH people find a problem or task that needs doing, They both discuss it and the leader either doas the hardest part of the solution whilst guiding the other as well, Or the leader takes on the whole issue themself.
For example if the car breaks down, I push, The wife steers. Both are equally important and on their own are pointless, Its a team effort but the leader is the one who decides on the solution and how to go about it, But also takes on the hardest part of that solution. This works well but the other needs to show appreciation and understanding for what the leader doas and the sacrafices they make. At least thats one part of it I think. Its not about Taking power or control over the other, More about taking on responsibility and burden for the sake of love.
@@amarok9749 Having it narrowed down to just having the final say… I get that and I agree on that especially in important scenarios.
In my opinion leadership in that aspect, concerning men is very seldom needed or exercised in the day to day of a relationship or marriage.
Women make more of the day to day decisions in the households than their men do… i
Leadership on the internet just looks like a feel good title men want to beat their chest about, but seldom exercised or required daily.
Lizzo hate or love her… in her song said “Why men great until they gotta be great” is true because men today fold in the scenarios they have to show leadership in, because their leadership is seldom tested but they expect/want the title.
@@RashonWill I understand your point and Im inclined to agree to be honest.
The "Final say" aspect I mentioned however isnt something I would ever want to "enforce" as much as I would hope for a relationship with an understanding between both partners that one person takes on the resposability of certain aspects while the other takes on seperate ones.
However you make a good point, Women do infact typically take on more responsibilty in the home than men do, So that respect should 100% be put in their favor, As it should the other way too (Assuming the man is working, Therefore doing his part) Ultimately its a joint effort.
And with the Lizzo mention I pretty much agree too, There are a lot of men (Typically young/inexperienced ones I would say) Who "DEMAND" respect and status despite not making any effort to be the Men they claim to be, Some women do this too so its not exclusive to gender in my opinion however. All in all I think good comunication and a restraint over ego is a good start to a healthy relationship.
@@amarok9749 I can agree with everything you said as well, only push back I have is you saying “the man is working, and thus doing his part” I think a lot of guys unfortunately have to realize that these days that’s not all you have to or should be doing anymore.
If we’re dealing with a two parent/income home just going to work isn’t enough because more than likely we both do that.
I watched my parents marriage and my mom would tend to the kids (3 of us), work, cook, clean, rake leaves, wash cars, cut grass, etc and all my dad did was come home, take a s**t, shower, eat and watch pre-recorded soap operas… watched that every day of the week be the scenario.
That put a bad taste in my mouth about men, having kids, and marriage to be honest, because how he just sat there and mom worked around the clock… if that’s the case and that load is going to be on me and you get to claim leader just because…I don’t want any of it.
He covered all bills, and I’m sure people looked at him a certain way because of that, but there was so much he didn’t do. My mom worked a job sometimes but as a child I knew that wasn’t going to me enough for me when I got older. It was all unfair, unbalanced and I’m big on balance and equal contribution in the house.
Leadership has to be earned and proven not a freely given title and if we start there by having people prove that instead of just placing people there based on gender I think we can move forward… if you do the least you’re not a leader you’re a helper.. and I think a lot of people need to realize that at some point
How about it’s a statement. Yes, globally she’s the megastar, but this is her family! Wherever she goes, she’s taking them with her. Rihanna and Rocky are both winning bc the maturity level is impeccable!!! 💙💜
The man is the spiritual leader of the household (the priest of his home)
The man is the physical leader (the strength/protector of his home)
The man leads in training the children (legacy)
The man provides (yes monetarily but also in providing a sense of security, safety and confidence in his family)
This is healthy and mature leadership. Not a man usurping his power over a woman and being abusive.
Ish knows his take is weak as fuck so when she asks to define what leadership is it's a tap out? Lol dawg cuz if it's DEFINED your stance is now in the garbage.
Ish knows this idk why he thought it was just a "simple answer"
the simple answer is "No" but we're adults not kids who need 1 word answers man lol.
Thank you, it was a reasonable question to ask in order to answer his question.
Whys this soo hard to get. Leadership comes in different forms. In a marriage, each partner should lead based on who has stronger strength at the circumstance.
Bam. What’s so hard about this? You can make way more money than me but be financially stupid af and spend it in a terrible way
WOMEN WILL NEVER RESPECT A MAN WHO LET HER LEAD THE RELATIONSHIP
When goons kick in the Calabasas door is Rihanna running up with the Draco or ASAP?
Leadership is someone who makes the rules and is being submitted to.
That goes into how to raise the kids, who controls most of the decision making and intimacy.
I think the answer mel should’ve gave that was simple is “not necessarily” and ish I agree that JUST because rocky makes less money shouldn’t be weaponized as a “yeah you better bow down” However ish believes that more wealthy or not the man should ALWAYS be the leader, which they never addressed that point. Personally I don’t think the man ALWAYS has to be the leader. In the example flip gave obviously the man in that situation is the “leader” doesn’t mean he should be, and it’s not because of him being broke, it’s because he’s not built to lead via his personality. The whole leader discussion is stupid anyway. the reality is in relationships people bring their individual strengths. So when situations arise and you have more strength for the situation you lead. if the wife is a architect, she design building and such bet, if something go wrong in the house she should be the first to reach and try and fix the problem cause you have a lot of knowledge. But if the man is a nurse or emt or doctor if someone is sick, bleeding, etc he should be the one first to be leading and giving directions because he knows most. But ego is the problem for most. To where based off of intelligence in an area or money the man or woman feels they need to lead in EVERY situation even when they may not be best equipped to do so
That photo just show the pure love between the two and their lovely baby/family imo. Love it 😍 💜🔥
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 How sway
JBP try’s so hard. Joe’s been shook every since he said he didn’t like Megan and then immediately moonwalked. Whoever called him scared the hell out of him. Now we got Melissa Ford every week.
Perhaps maybe..idk..it wasnt supposed to do anything but celebrate their family, but more on her journey into motherhood
Joe and all them soft asf the dude in pink made more sense.
She is the billable star. There would be no Vogue cover without her. The fact that she allowed her man to be on the cover with her, the Super Star says that she hold him at the highest level of value. So many other celebs would have had themselves and their baby on the cover. They are not married, but she holding her man up to the world in this cover saying "This is who I choose!" Much respect to her and him for showing the world 🌎 how as Black couples we can hold shit down. Props to Black love making the rounds! This topic is another reason for people to place labels on Black women as being too "strong"! A women getting the bag, Smdh! In the eyes of the world as being a Black Women we can't win. That should be the topic. Toxic culture against Black women. Who go respect us if even yall can't?
This is one of the most sensible takes I have see on this topic 👏🏿. It has made me realise how everyone perceives/interprets things differently based on their ideologies and environment. Tbh I never thought about the aspect of her telling the world that this is who she chose, it makes sense since some people have this sense that ASAP is not good enough for her so this is her emphasising how important he is to her. And to be honest she is the focus so of course he’s not going to be front and centre.
I love this take 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
My opinion is to who is the leader of the household is the person who makes most of the decisions in their life as a couple.
Leadership is creating foundation to achieve and possess a safe and loving environment in the household with standards and guidelines ( rules) to abide by to establish and maintain a healthy atmosphere. A man and a women can both do this for their family if they come together and are kindred in souls and spirit… we are yet again back to square one because we don’t approach topics the more wholesome way, except create separation discord and competitiveness in the family dynamic…. If both of them were billionaires, who would be the “leader”then?
Again, we need to realize what’s more important- it’s not the damn money, it’s their personalities, their morals and their beliefs that will ultimately mold their children. Everyone soul in the world needs the balance of masculine and feminine , or at-least a healthy synergy.
Being a billionaire don’t save you from being a murderer , being poor don’t hold you back from being polite.
Melissa could have guided this conversation better if she was honest.
She said her opinion, just because you don’t agree with her doesn’t make it dishonest.
@@janeli4616 Naw she should have said No. No need for the extra stuff.
@@buckroger25586 you cant force your opinion on others. She said what she said
That’s what happens when you let a woman lead. 🙃
Also this conversation lets you see how insecure men are.
the magazine was a follow up about RIHANNA AND RIHANNA ONLYYYY. vogue choose her
@@crystalrubbie9383 I’m talking about the general conversation. Not really the Rihanna thing.
Very insecure
Why Flip body looks part of the chair and his head just there speaking and moving 😂😂😂😂
My boy skipped the question and then hit them with the reverse uno statistics and disappeared like Batman 😂
Some people complain about how the media depicts us as thugs or criminals, but then reach hella hard to get offended about ASAP Rocky's positioning on a magazine. Some of y'all have more energy for stupid issues that have zero effect on your lives than you do things that actually matter. You gotta have low self-esteem to try to force the world to conform to your beliefs.
I don’t think they are talking about his outfit. They are speaking on him being behind rihanna holding her hand and carrying their child which i agree is stupid.
@janeli4616 either way my point still stands.
You’re confusing stories lol. You commenting on people making comments but then don’t know what the whole topic is about smh.
@cmbrock1 I honed in on a different aspect of the same topic. Regardless of if it's the outfit or his positioning in relation to Riri, people need to invest their energy into better avenues.
@@bsimms583 you’re doing the exact same thing though wasting energy on something you don’t think energy should be spent on.
Melissa’s response says a lot about her
She basically only checking for dudes based on finances! She told on herself without telling I herself lol She tapped danced around that question like a mofo 😂
Facts she just didn't want to answer it honestly they should have asked her would she marry a man who makes less money than her because she would have said no
@@Zackey-Zackk I don’t think that’s a fair question to ask her. Her net worth is way less than Rihanna’s. Majority of women are looking for security in a relationship and that includes finances. Unless you are a billionaire yourself where no amount of money anyone brings in matters, you will want to marry a man who makes more. Unless you want to struggle and slave the rest of your life. But that doesn’t have anything to do with the cover. Ppl are thinking too hard abt that.
@@wonton_soup805 That's nothing but a goddamn excuse It all boils down to what women want in a man as a leader One of those things is having money in their bank account so they can spend his money and keep theirs for whatever they want to
@@Zackey-Zackk I’m sorry you had such a bad experience with women that that’s what you have in your mind. Unfortunately tho, that doesn’t change that women are looking for security. Whether that be finances, emotional support, commitment - it all boils down to one word Security. If a man cannot provide that they will find someone who will. A marriage or union is an investment. You’re supposed to be setting up a future for yourself, your spouse, and your children if you choose to have them. You can’t secure that with “dust”. That’s why any women of means have those standards. You can even make the same amount. But less than that, that’s literally nothing but a lifetime of struggle. Women, and especially black women, are tired of “struggle love”. Nobody’s future will be secure struggling.
Ish was trying to say when a woman makes more money her values decrease but when a man makes more more hid value increases. A man making a lot of money will draw in more women than a woman making more money. A woman making more money usually don't settle with a man making less....period.
Leading a household:
your following my morals, my principles, my standards, my discipline as a man for our children for my/our last name…?
Moral of the story the man makes the money. But money makes the woman.
Put it like this: ASAP & the baby could be totally cropped out, and this wouldn’t change the dynamic or messaging of this cover in the least bit. They’re literally being depicted as insignificant accessories to “her” life, not like they are important parts of each other’s lives, or they’re the new “power couple” in the industry…
Great point‼️ I mean let’s be real it’s not like ASAP is a top rapper the majority of people can’t name 5 songs from him including me all we really know is he’s had a few hits and is known for fashion never been known as a business man.
This was a stretch. It's just a photo....
@@jg122487 All media is propaganda programming. The photography team & coordinators could’ve come up w/ a million other ways of depicting them as a “couple,” yet they chose this pose where she’s essentially completely detached. You can’t tell me that they look “together” or even in love from this photo shoot.
@@Messiah_Black I see a woman holding her man's hand on the beach. Literally....
@@jg122487 Barely. Their hands aren’t even closed fists, & that’s not even a natural pose or way to walk & hold hands. Technically the way his feet are positioned, he would be standing on her left side, but is “holding” her right hand? That would be the most awkward way to walk down a beach w/ your lover. Looks like he’s being led like a child by a single mother. Where’s the eye contact? Why aren’t they side by side? Why’s he so much smaller & in the background? There’s more affection shown between Asap & the baby, than there is Rihanna & the rest of her “family.”
as a black man who is VERY WATCHFUL of how media portrays us , the Vogue cover wasnt a big deal
THE FOCUS is Rhianna not Rocky lol now IF THE cover focus was ROCKY then the picture needs to be him leading
Why not just have Rihanna as the lead if she is the main lead in the photo. Or have them side by side if they are "equal" partners. Having rocky trail from the back implies he is following her direction, and it's subcommucating that visually and projecting that message to a wide audience. It does beg a discussion about gender roles tho.
Why have him on the cover then , damn you dudes are doomed
@@onemanarmy1873 child please far from doomed lol it’s HER COVER moment not his and she wanted her family in it aint like she had the nigga on a dog leash 🤣
@@jman1562001 I mean girls take their men’s hands and walk forward all the time at beach’s, amusement parks, running into stores lol I took the cover more as a MOMENT rather than the actual dynamic of the relationship if that makes sense
@@jman1562001 I agree 100% with you
I think people are looking too deep into this back front Sideways
It looks like a loving family and everyone looks beautiful !
And yes a man should be the leader of the house not a cover primarily about his wife
Thanks Joey this was important
The cover was trash lol
🤣🤣🤣 I'm not upset, but that cover looks crazy. But I'm oldschool, oh well 🤷♂️💪🏽
When they say “Lead” the house hood I think that’s a vague question. I think you have to be more specific making all executive decisions…
In that case, no one is willing to make more money, but have someone else make the decisions
It's like they were intentionally missing Ish's point.
“What is leadership to you?” is a funny question to ask when the word is in the dictionary. I think that’s in part ppls problems nowadays. They seek to redefine everything.
Even with definitions people have their own ideas of words.
Its actually a great question. There is no one definition, not even in the dictionary.
It’s like success, people
Have different measuring sticks to define it.
@@janeli4616 can you expand more on that please? What exactly do you mean there is no one definition when you can Google it and find the meaning of a word?
@@savagegamer2292 there is more than one definition to a word specifically the word leader.
Joe has officially sold out that's why this show is now garbage
Joe still got u tapping in. Tho lmak show not garbage stop it.
Yo when Ice and Ish first got there this show was on fire. They silenced Ice for real. He don't wanna say anything controversial anymore. The show was no as entertaining, That's why Joe brought in Mel and big dude.
Facts
What they should have established is that every relationship has a dom and a sub. One person makes the tough decisions for the betterment of the family. You can make less money, and still control how the money is spent for the betterment of the family. You can make less money, and still decide how your children will be raised, how they will be punished. You can make less money, and decide what image your family will show to the world in private and in public. It's slightly controlling, but it's for the betterment of your family. Most decisions can be made together, but the hard decisions are chosen by the leader of the family. Usually that's the protector, that's the head of the household, money is shared when you're married, you have a total wealth when it comes to the household, but couples should also establish their role in the relationship. If you don't set rules, and roles, chores, duties, and bills, it's a recipe for disaster. But, at the same time, no one should feel trapped, stuck, or forced, both sides have to see eye to eye on everything.
The issue wasn't the pic. The issue was "yeah he better play the back because she makes more money...".
The question is does the bag determine leadership roles in a relationship?
He doesn’t look worse than Jonathan Majors
Conversations like this make me glad I’m gay.
So the answer is no, a man cannot lead in a house hold if he doesn’t make more money because based on her story (and the trend in society), if a woman makes more, she tends to emasculate the man directly or indirectly because of that. Not in 100% of the relationships that exist but in most, a woman making more money has a hard time allowing the lesser performing man lead. And why would someone making more allow the lesser to lead? Just reverse the roles. Since so much is contingent upon finance, whether the higher earner is equipped to lead or not, they have the big joker (money) in the relationship.
Only person on point was the guy in the pink hood, society can’t have a mature dialogue without being trigger and check their lack of emotional intelligence.