Where it cuts off, updates included: July 13, 2023 My mom, instead of sharing cute stories about Melody, decided to tell a group of random moms about the time I tried to make my parents stop fighting by collecting change lying around the house and giving it to them (I was 7). She was laughing the whole time and ended the story with “Ah the things you learn with the oldest, practice kids am I right? (Stepdad’s name) and I never fight in front of Melody, I think that’s why she’s so much easier than (my name).” That story is a painful memory for me, so I was hurt that she thought it was so hilarious, but I didn’t say anything and tried to brush it off. The moms started talking about kindergarten because a few of them have kids who will be starting in the fall. My mom, who by then was shitfaced, decided that it would be a great idea to share the story of how she karened the school into letting me do gym class in my winter boots because that was the one pair of shoes I had. Again, she told the whole story with a grin on her face and laughing. The last thing she said made almost blow up; “Thank goodness Melody can have all the shoes she wants, though with how much shit (my name) pulled at that age maybe it was best I didn’t waste money on the practice kid.” I texted my mom “I’m glad you find how poor and miserable we were so funny, but it really upsets me how you clearly think of me as practice for Mel. I’m going so someone should watch the kids.” I then left without talking to anyone. When I got home I checked my texts and found a rant from her, saying that they were her stories and she could feel any way she wanted. She called me sensitive for “not taking a joke” and suggested I get a therapist (I already have one and she knows that) because I was “jealous of a 4yr old”. She said I was rude for leaving. I was too upset to respond then, but after some thought I may be in the wrong. AITA? July 18, 2023 (5 Days Later) So, to start, I’d like to thank everyone who commented on my last post. I read through as many replies as I could and some of y’all had me sobbing. Genuinely, everyone says that the internet is a cesspit of toxicity, but that’s not true at all. Mushy feelings aside, here’s the actual update. So, the first thing I did was talk to my stepdad. Contrary to some of y’all’s assumptions, I don’t live at my parents’s house, so I asked him over to breakfast to talk on a day my mom had work but I had off. He knows I usually plan around my mom’s work schedule, so I think he knew it was serious beforehand. We sat down over eggs and I told him what had happened. He’d been doing something else at the time, and was absolutely shocked. Apparently, my mom had told him a twisted version of events. According to him, she’d said that I sent her an “angry text” because of a “few harmless jabs” and that she was “only kidding” and “didn’t mean any harm”. She also had conspicuously left out her drunken text to me. His reaction to the actual content of her “jokes” can only be described as a deep sadness and frustration. He offered me true support and affirmation, something that I could never picture my mom doing in my a million years. My mom can be nice, but she’s not great at anything deeper than platitudes. What did I ever do to deserve him? He was also completely blindsided by the fact that there was alcohol at a kid’s party. Apparently, he had left the planning to her and had no idea. I told him that I want to go very low contact with my mom for a bit, and asked for his help to see him and Melody without having to deal with her. He said that he understood, and agreed to have me over when she’s not around. He told me he would get my mom help with her emotions and her drinking problem, and I told him that she probably wouldn’t cooperate and promised to help him get her the help she needs in what ways I can. A half hour after my stepdad left, I texted my mom the following: _Hey ma, I’ve mulled over what happened at Mel’s party and I’ve come to the realization that our relationship is not healthy. You put me down for things that weren’t my fault and laugh at how you and [my bio dad] screwed my childhood up. It hurts to hear you speak about me like that, and I don’t think you understand exactly how much. I’ve also come to the understanding that you serving alcohol at a four year old’s birthday party without even telling dad isn’t normal. This isn’t a one time thing, you start drinking at eight AM and don’t stop until bed. You have two problems, and until you get some serious help with both of them, I would like very little contact with you. Please don’t contact me outside of an emergency._ I then blocked her from texting me I know this isn’t as dramatic of an update as y’all were hoping for, but I hope that someone can take something from it. I know it’s only been a few days, but I have no regrets. Maybe going cold turkey off her was what I needed. *Marked as concluded because OOP went LC with mother and it is unclear if there will be future updates*
Wait, so she got blotto at her *4 year old* daughters party and told stories about how she wasn't able to provide for her first kid but it's somehow the *kids* fault and is angry because this was upsetting for OP? Wow...that's some self-delusion she's got going on there. I'm so happy the OP has at least their step-dad in their corner reaffirming that what she did is in no way ok and that they still gets to have contact with him and their little sister because neither are responsible for the hot-mess that the mother currently is any more than the OP is.
Should have joined the group of moms, “oh here’s some practice mom stories, remember those times you neglected me, constantly fought with dad, didn’t care, etc. how funny haha, hahah, ha. Oh good times mom”
"If you want lessons on how to act like a good parent, just do the opposite of what she did. Trust me, even she knows it and is trying out that strategy!"
@@pesdiddywtf1000% disgusting behavior, so many people who deserve kids can't have them and then you get parents like that who should never have had any in the first place
I feel like a few if not most were probably there like "what the hell? Shes laughing about her son trying to get them to stop fighting? Such a horrible mom. Poor kid, and now she treats the little one perfect, oh he must feel so sad."
After reading the whole story clearly the moms who were invited were trying to gently change the subject by bringing up that their kids will start kindergarten soon till op’s bought up op’s experience once again saying that it was a good thing she didn’t spend so much money on her “practice” kid just wow and op told her how much it hurts to hear it from her but op’s mom didn’t take the accountability saying it was her experience that she was jealous of her sister and completely gaslighted op
Ah yes, instead of actually consoling your Daughter, tell them that shes just jealous of the obvious Favorite younger child whom youve spoiled and given all the attention to, WHILE telling other people that you were such a pathetic excuse of a parent that you not only got pregnant at 19, you also chalked up your firstborn as a "Practice child" as if raising a human being was a sport or a game! not only that, youre ALSO doing it whilst getting hammered and Drunk at a 4 year old's birthday party, which you also admitted to being more grand and luxurious than anything youve ever gotten your first born, (if they even got her anything at all) excellent! 10/10, completely narcissistic, Egotistical, Oblivious, attention seeking and completely immature! the stunning, perfect Mother figure, and i bet she'll still win a custody battle if it ever comes to it!
The fact the mom retold these things and told OP they were “her stories” so she could feel how she wanted is wild because that’s a “funny story” for her, but OPs trauma and she’s just glossing right over that.
"about the time I tried to make my parents stop fighting by collecting change lying around the house and giving it to them." Why does this hit so close to home... (Edit I don't mean to be that person but holy shit thx for the likes)
because oftentimes, what we call a normal household isn't normal or healthy, we just think its the norm because we have nothing to compare it to and we're used to it some of us are LITERALLY conceived just to hold a failing relationship together and in the end, we're the ones that lose the most
Yeah that line had me in tears. I’ve been there and it’s just so real. For a mother to make fun of her child for trying to help is just the epitome of evil to me. What a vile woman.
First of all who tf drinks at a 4yo's birthday party, second why does she think it's funny to joke about being an awful parent and bringing her kid up in a broken home environment? The mom sounds absolutely terrible, and a future no-contact waiting to happen
@@emilyperez4652if you watch the rest she got sh*t faced drunk, not tipsy, absolutely drunk and continuing to tell ‘jokes’ then angry drunk texted OP when he left after having someone else to watch the kids.
The fact that she was laughing over a scared and confused child trying to make their parents stop fighting any way they can because of how traumatic it is and that child being her own then calling that child A PRACTICE CHILD???? Oh my god.
That’s such a heart-wrenching story. The image of a little boy trying to wrestle up some change to stop the parents from fighting about money is as precious of a sight I can imagine. He just wants the family to be happy and she’s trying her best with the little ability he has to mend things together.
So sad all around. Alcoholism brings out the worst in people. My mom is also an alcoholic and she did a lot of emotional damage on me growing up. I feel really bad for OP bc she consistently puts them in bad positions. I'm glad OP is taking some space and not taking it personally.
@@hentaidude666 I don't fully believe that whole "reveals the true person" thing. Some things, yes, but I simply can't bring myself to believe some of the things people do on alcohol is *ACTUALLY* them. Some people can't even *RECOGNIZE* other people on alcohol, how is that only just "removing inhibitions"?????
@@fredericksaxton9782We are who we are because of our childhood/society Alchohol just makes you not care about those. It doesnt bring out your TRUE self, it brings out your shitty self
@@fredericksaxton9782 people put up barriers, social masks, facades and farces. Some people have a nature to them they know isn't in their long term interest, but when intoxicated it becomes very difficult to self moderate with no inhibitions. One of life's difficult pills to swallow and learning how vulnerable/awful we can truly be behind closed doors or with those we trust.
If I had been one of your mother's friends at this birthday party (especially if I had been drinking with her) I wouldve straight up said "it's a wonder he turned out as good as he did with parenting that horrible. Here's hoping you don't emotionally and mentally scar Melody too." At the very least I wouldn't have been laughing & definitely would be collecting my child and leaving. NTA.
AITA for leaving after my mom kept joking about my childhood and calling me her “practice kid”? My (19m) parents had me young and on accident. My childhood was nothing but money troubles and listening to my parents scream at each other. Things only got better when my mom left my dad and started seeing my stepdad. He brought financial stability and is more of a father to me than my bio dad ever was. They have a daughter together, my sister Melody. I’m not blind, I know they shower her with attention and buy her everything they can because I had nothing when I was her age. When I was younger, it frustrated me to see her loved in a way I never was, but now I know that my mom did her best with the experience and resources she had. It’s just bad luck that it worked out the way it did. With that context out of the way, Melody recently turned 4 and my parents went all out. They invited not only all the family in the area, but also some of Melody’s friends from daycare and their parents. Once my mom and the other moms had a few drinks each, they started gossiping. The conversation, which I was not part of but was listening to because I was bored watching the kids, turned to sharing stories about their kids. My mom, instead of sharing cute stories about Melody, decided to tell a group of random moms about the time I tried to make my parents stop fighting by collecting change lying around the house and giving it to them (I was 7). She was laughing the whole time and ended the story with “Ah the things you learn with the oldest, practice kids am I right? (Stepdad’s name) and I never fight in front of Melody, I think that’s why she’s so much easier than (my name).” That story is a painful memory for me, so I was hurt that she thought it was *so* hilarious, but I didn’t say anything and tried to brush it off. The moms started talking about kindergarten because a few of them have kids who will be starting in the fall. My mom, who by then was shitfaced, decided that it would be a *great* idea to share the story of how she karened the school into letting me do gym class in my winter boots because that was the one pair of shoes I had. Again, she told the whole story with a grin on her face and laughing. The last thing she said made almost blow up; “Thank goodness Melody can have all the shoes she wants, though with how much shit (my name) pulled at that age maybe it was best I didn’t waste money on the practice kid.” I texted my mom “I’m glad you find how poor and miserable we were so funny, but it really upsets me how you clearly think of me as practice for Mel. I’m going so someone should watch the kids.” I then left without talking to anyone. When I got home I checked my texts and found a rant from her, saying that they were her stories and she could feel any way she wanted. She called me sensitive for “not taking a joke” and suggested I get a therapist (I already have one and she knows that) because I was “jealous of a 4yr old”. She said I was rude for leaving. I was too upset to respond then, but after some thought I may be in the wrong. AITA?
*update* AITA for leaving after my mom kept joking about my childhood and calling me her “practice kid”? [UPDATE] So, to start, I’d like to thank everyone who commented on my last post. I read through as many replies as I could and some of y’all had me sobbing. Genuinely, everyone says that the internet is a cesspit of toxicity, but that’s not true at all. Mushy feelings aside, here’s the actual update. So, the first thing I did was talk to my stepdad. Contrary to some of y’all’s assumptions, I don’t live at my parents’s house, so I asked him over to breakfast to talk on a day my mom had work but I had off. He knows I usually plan around my mom’s work schedule, so I think he knew it was serious beforehand. We sat down over eggs and I told him what had happened. He’d been doing something else at the time, and was absolutely shocked. Apparently, my mom had told him a twisted version of events. According to him, she’d said that I sent her an “angry text” because of a “few harmless jabs” and that she was “only kidding” and “didn’t mean any harm”. She also had conspicuously left out her drunken text to me. His reaction to the actual content of her “jokes” can only be described as a deep sadness and frustration. He offered me true support and affirmation, something that I could never picture my mom doing in my a million years. My mom can be nice, but she’s not great at anything deeper than platitudes. What did I ever do to deserve him? He was also completely blindsided by the fact that there was alcohol at a kid’s party. Apparently, he had left the planning to her and had no idea. I told him that I want to go very low contact with my mom for a bit, and asked for his help to see him and Melody without having to deal with her. He said that he understood, and agreed to have me over when she’s not around. He told me he would get my mom help with her emotions and her drinking problem, and I told him that she probably wouldn’t cooperate and promised to help him get her the help she needs in what ways I can. A half hour after my stepdad left, I texted my mom the following: *Hey ma, I’ve mulled over what happened at Mel’s party and I’ve come to the realization that our relationship is not healthy. You put me down for things that weren’t my fault and laugh at how you and* [my bio dad] *screwed my childhood up. It hurts to hear you speak about me like that, and I don’t think you understand exactly how much.* *I’ve also come to the understanding that you serving alcohol at a four year old’s birthday party without even telling dad isn’t normal. This isn’t a one time thing, you start drinking at eight AM and don’t stop until bed. You have two problems, and until you get some serious help with both of them, I would like very little contact with you.* *Please don’t contact me outside of an emergency.* I then blocked her from texting me I know this isn’t as dramatic of an update as y’all were hoping for, but I hope that someone can take something from it. I know it’s only been a few days, but I have no regrets. Maybe going cold turkey off her was what I needed.
@@zarafaruki4818 Tbh as sad as this is, I honestly don't think that mum will even care other than seeing it as an inconvenience for when she needs a babysitter.
Just read the update. Still hate her but atleast the step dad is ok. Ive got no contact with my bio dad because he was a alcoholic so o just want to say it’s nice to see someone getting along with there step dad. My step dad is basically my dad too.
I swear parents don't understand how much trauma comes from them fighting. My parents fought a lot when I was younger, and often me and my sister had to be the ones to help defuse the situation. (It happened constantly, but the latest I remember is around 8y/o. It also would happen at very late times, so it also affected our sleep as children) It wouldn't be just small arguments either, it was full out screaming at each other. It has affected me a lot, and I'm still learning things about how it affects me. (Any loud screaming causes me to have panic/anxiety attacks, I'm a people pleaser because I'm scared of making people angry around me, etc.) I've brought this up to my parents multiple times and all I ever get is "that has nothing to do with you, so how could it effect you?" 🤦
The crazy part is none of those other moms called her out. My mom would’ve said something like.” You should be careful what you say about your children. You wouldn’t want to emotionally scarred them anymore than you already have.” She’s good with the passive aggressive like that lmao
If my kid brought all the spare change they could find because me and their dad were having money problems my heart would melt and I take them so tightly in my arms and give them so much love. I’d tell them how much I appreciate their thoughtfulness but not to worry because we would figure something out. I’d think back on that with pride for my child being so sweet and so thoughtful but I’d also look back with heartbreak knowing that they must have been scared and feeling so many things. 😢
They're a much more forgiving person than I am, absolutely NTA and i haven't even seen part 2, that mother sounds horrible. Your mother is lucky to have you as a kid, and she sounds like a terrible parent
So she thought it was just hilarious that she failed you as a mother that she announced it to her “friends”. Yeah I’ve been there and when you try tell them how it negatively effected you, it’s like they lose all memory of it. Suddenly we’re the ones making things up. I come from a family of gaslighters and toxic guilt tripping BS. I feel you. Going complete no contact when I can.
I was no contact with my mother until I had my daughter I love seeing them together but I really not gonna lie it hurts me seeing my mother show and give love and affection to my child that she never even thought about giving me lol
The fact he was 7, trying to make his parents stop fighting with a little money. That's just sad. He knew all their problems were because of money shortage, even at such a young age.
Stories like these make me so happy that no one in my family drinks. And we’re Latinos. There is no reason to be drinking at a kid’s 4th birthday 🤦🏻♀️ and if you need to drink then you’re not focused on who the day is about.
After reading the rest, I'm so glad that op has the stepfather in his life. 19 is still so young to be dealing with all of this, and having a parental figure who genuinely cares and is going to do whatever they can to help can make all the difference in the world.
My parents have joked about this as well because they had me when they were 19/20 and my siblings when they were 28/30 and my mom has kind of apologetically been like.... Yeah we had you to practice on. Well and to parentify :)) it's rough
The fact that the other moms probably tried to just change the subject by bringing up the fact that their kids would shortly start kindergarten- they probably read the room and were like "wtf-".
My mom always calls me her “practice kid” or “first pancake”Bc you always mess up the first pancake. She was 16. I’m glad she tried her best and didn’t put me up for adoption. I love my mom. We basically grew up together and now i have kids of my own and she’s an amazing grandma.💓
The fact that she points out her child, who was 7 at the time, doing her little child damndest to stop her parents from fighting as some form of bad behaviors is pathetic. Her daughter was being trashed by her own mother at her sisters party. Also what dirt bag thinks getting sloshed at a 4yr Olds birthday party is appropriate
I remember purposely making myself look stupid all the time because the only time my parents got along was when they were laughing at me and I just wanted to make them happy. My mother still talks about how book smart I am but how I have no common sense. I regret every moment because now I'm nothing but a stupid laughingstock to her.
I totally get OP, I was raised very similarly but my mom ain’t nearly as disrespectful and I’m happy to say I’m glad to still be in my moms life. I really hope the best for OP
My mother blamed me for my step dad being a child predator. She still talks bad about me, even to my biological father. I will never speak to her again. I live 8 hours away and she will never have my address, she will never know anything about me. I’m hoping to move further away.
She basically called his life a joke, her own child whom loved her unconditionally, I honestly found the loose change story so heartwarming from his side. Every child deserves wonderful parents, but not every parent deserves a child, especially not one like him.
This reminds me of the time at a party my mom was talking to a friend of mine and told her about how I used to sleep with a knife under my pillow and laughed about how crazy that was. Guess she didn't realize or care that I did that bc I was scared of being ripped out of my bed in my sleep and beat.
when I was 7 I made valentines cards for my parents and a few days before Valentine’s Day they were having a huge fight so I ran and gave them the cards early and they said “ it’s not Valentine’s Day yet” and I said “then just stop fighting”. A kid shouldn’t have to do that
I’d love to hear this story from the other moms in the group’s perspective. Not because I think it would change anything, but because I’d bet that almost all of them were horrified by what OP’s mom was saying but didn’t want to cause a scene. Every parent group has THAT parent they only barely tolerate because the kids are friends, and I’d bet OP’s mom is this groups’
I have learned it's not normal for parents to drink at birthday parties. Good to know cause that's all my parents did. My 10th birthday they threw a party for "me." Only people there were adults. I was also was taught how to play poker that day.
this reminded me of the time i overheard my grandparents joking with their friends at a dinner party about how when i was 4 and stayed with them, i used to hide food under furniture and they would occasionally find rotting meat stashed under the couch due to the food insecurity i experienced as a child, as if it was a cute and silly little story
Thats actually the saddest thing I've heard in a while, could you imagine knowing your parents are struggling as a kid and you try whatever you can to just get them to be happy for once
It's true that you learn alot with your first kid. But, the most important part about that is learning. Learning and recognizing the things you did wrong and taking accountability for them. We're all human, we all learn and grow. And a parent has to have the emotional maturity to realize that their mistakes were not only their own fault but most likely were a rather big deal for their kids. Those are the things that happen in the earliest stages of a child's development and can stick with them for their whole lives. It's up to the parent to grow and change as well as love, accept, and support their child unconditionally so both parties as bond and become the best they can be. It's the most fundamental part of parenting.
Had a similar situation like this, used to try to scream to my stepdad for help while my mom was beating me and all they did was laugh at me while we were eating "why are you screaming for him, he wont help you" "you're just losing your voice" in that moment my 7 yr old self knew my mom didn't love me and nobody would ever help me in life, can't lose hope in humanity if my mom took it all from me.
I've gone to tons of kids parties(including mine) and baby showers where all the adults get wasted, totally forgot it's not accepted for some people. just became the norm for me. :l
So uh, I’m pretty sure biodad wasn’t the problem in that household. Op might want to reach out and find out for themselves what the other side of the story looks like
Yeah, I love and appreciate my stepdad way more than my mom too. Sure, it may just be some form of coping mechanism for her but its not fun to be sitting there with a stupid shiteating grin on your face as your mother mocks you in public with her "jokes". Now the mom in this story can concentrate on the golden child and I only ever speak to my stepdad now, he's awesome🤷♀️
My in-laws spend a lot of time & $ on my SiL bc she has 2 kids from 2 different deadbeat dads. They always want to make it up to us by giving us expensive gifts & want to "balance the scales" but I discourage this behavior. We don't have NEED like SiL and I'm pretty sure we are FAR happier. So, the scales are balanced in a way, I got the sibling (husband) that was a quality guy. In-laws deal with enough stress & financial drain. I got their wonderful son, my SiL gets help with her kids, I figure the scales are in my favor.
My parents had 2 kids 3 years apart and began to fight shortly after i was born they finally finished the divorce when I was 8-10 i dont remember them being happy together they left and moved out wheb i was 7-8 this was fine because they left each other quickly the problem is..... my sister has hidden trauma from having to live with those memories i had suspicions that this trauma existed and realized how obvious it was and i cant talk to her about it. My parents refuse to say they did anything wrong raising us. My sister is a drop out and im constantly filling my environment with distraction in fear of getting depressed again. We have loads of trauma and it's clear they had struggles raising kids, but they did our best and wanted kids but where running out of time. I think they underestimated how much trauma they can give to kids and how much they need to protect us not just from adults but other kids and themselves
Imagine how desperate and scared the OP must have been when they were 7 years old and going to the point of collecting change around the house jsut so that they wouldn't fight. And the mom had the adacity to joke about it and LAUGH!?
Annoying that my parents didn't Take Care of me when I was little but now that they're Older Take Care of their own children In separate families ignoring my existence
This isn't fair. This is why I think SOME people should only have 1 kid. Yes kids come with different personalities, but they should be loved equally. They know when you favor.
This story is so sad. I would be embarrassed to tell a story like that. I mean when youve got a 7 year old trying to stop parents from fighting by gathering loose change to try to help, thats just horrible. My husband and i may fight but we usually do it in text or away from the kids. Kids dont beling in the middle of adult problems period.
Man, I'm actually kinda proud of CZcams for disabling video links in shorts comments Maybe now these uploaders will actually post the full story in the comments instead of making us watch a part 2 or even 3 so they can get more views and engagement for very little effort
My parents always joked about me (the oldest) being the practice child but it's SO different. They love me and don't view me the same as this mom. How could she say she's "glad she didn't waste money on the practice child"?! How could you say that about your own child?!
Thats legit me i was born in poverty but my parents worled their asses off and are now middle class. But swear my 8 ur old sister is so spoiled she is getting crap that i an 13 yr old has just gotten like i dont even have my own phone but my sister has a phone (we have to share) it just pisses my off that she gets handed everything
My old man was shite to me and my little sister. I learned to read in a second language (english) by getting slapped everytime I made a mistake. Years later one of my good friends told me about his family. I am so fucking glad that I atleast had my mum and sister.
“the time I tried to make my parents stop fighting by collecting change around the house and giving it to them. I was about seven.“ THEIR MOTHER LAUGHED AT GIVING HER CHILD TRAUMA :D
I hope op can find some closure in this - Your mom didnt do her best with what she had. First kid or not. She put you through that because she didnt care.
OMG! I did that too! I had a shoe box filled with coins and one day while my parents were arguing in the garage I tried giving it to them because I thought it would make them stop fighting.
Ah, older sibling syndrome. It’s always funny the things we don’t even think about as adults. I didn’t know it was weird to be able to tell who is entering the house just by their foot steps. Lived in a house with 5 other people in uni. They thought it was crazy I could tell who had come home even through a closed door on another floor of the house. Glad OP is protecting his peace ✌️
I'm glad the step-dad is trying to rehabilitate OPs mom but I feel like the mom isn't a good parent or wife and is doing it for the "financial stability". She refers to the oldest as a "Practice child" which is a Red flag. To top it off she had abandon the step-dad plan and HAD alcohol at a 4 year old party without him knowing (She didn't tell him later) and the only reason the step dad know is because of OP. It honestly seems like a divorce . She broke trust, boundaries, and was manipulative. OP doesn't sound like she had any good parents other than the step dad. Which makes me think OP's mom was the main problem in their financial/Mental/Emotional downfall in the last marriage. NTA and hope the Step-Dad gets out of that marriage soon.
Especially when they were a teenager when they had the first. My grandfather was a surprise baby later in life (I think his mom was only like 34, but when you start at 17, that's a big gap) and it drove his siblings crazy. They grew up dirt poor and struggling with strict parents. They had worked their way up to middle class by the time he was born and they spoiled him rotten. My aunt Selma still complained when she was an old lady. Lol. We couldn't argue with her, she had a point. He grew up to be a nice person who took care of all his siblings and their kids though.
Yeah but making fun of their misery is not cool. It’s hurtful. I’m the eldest child too and I know my parents experiences with me made things a bit easier for my younger brother. Op’s mom not only mocked Op for being brought up poor but blamed them for it. Additionally, they blamed them for being hurt. That’s the problem here. Also, every child is unique and different and can have very different personalities and understanding of situations. Calling them a practice child can make them feel like they’re not valued enough. It’s something that just doesn’t need to be said.
I'm glad the step-dad is trying to rehabilitate OPs mom but I feel like the mom isn't a good parent or wife and is doing it for the "financial stability". She refers to the oldest as a "Practice child" which is a Red flag. To top it off she had abandon the step-dad plan and HAD alcohol at a 4 year old party without him knowing (She didn't tell him later) and the only reason the step dad know is because of OP. It honestly seems like a divorce . She broke trust, boundaries, and was manipulative. OP doesn't sound like she had any good parents other than the step dad. Which makes me think OP's mom was the main problem in their financial/Mental/Emotional downfall in the last marriage. NTA and hope the Step-Dad gets out of that marriage soon.
After reading entire story I know why the bio dad left this woman is the reddest of red flags. Who the fuck makes fun of their own kid whilst drinking at a 4 year old's bday.
My mom called me an "experiment" because my mom had health problems and they wanted to test how to help these problems so they could spend all their time and be perfect for my younger sibling (nearly died because I was allergic to breast milk, I have insomnia, sleep paralysis, and abdominal migraines,) so after I stopped having problems and my sister got to the age of 5 they ignored me or only yelled at me when they saw me, they gave me the freedom to get away tho , but I think that was more so they could forget I existed.
Your not the asshole. I hope this was just something she said while drunk and she apologized to your later. My dad can be kinda an ass when he’s drunk. however I’m kinda oblivious and don’t even realize when he has been drinking and get into arguments with him while my mom knows how to avoid confronting him while he’s drunk and de-escalate. I never got why my mom would take my dad’s side when he was saying shit to me or why she wouldn’t correct him when he was saying nonsense while drunk and just leave it be. The following is a story from when I was younger, One day he broke the dog bowl I had painted for my first dog who passed away while bringing it up from the basement when my maternal grandparents dog came to visit. He basically told me that I shouldn’t be attached to objects and I should just throw it away when I was trying to figure out to fix it. So we got in a big argument until my mom could break us up. I was really upset and didn’t get why my mom was siding with my dad. . .which she really wasn’t it was just that she was trying to de-escalate things. I was hurt by what my dad was saying and hurt by why my mom wasn’t supporting me but was siding with the things my dad was saying as if it was okay just because he was drunk. However when I was talking ti me mom privately she explained that although what he said wasn’t ok, it was Father’s Day and he was probably drinking and upset because he was grieving the loss of his own father. It was a perspective I really hadn’t thought about because I was so lost in my own feelings of hurt. It was after this I became more tolerant of the things my dad would say when he was drunk. Not that I think being drunk is a valid excuse, if it made me mad enough to remember the next day I would confront him about it while he was sober. Though my dad likes to deny how drunk he got making those conversations annoying in their own way (especially since he doesn’t like talking to me his child about his drinking habits). I realized that the words a drunk man say don’t paint a full picture and to get a full picture you need to have a conversation.
![[FULL STORY] I’m getting married, and my family is trying to get my golden child sister to walk...](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/ztybU7dmudM/mqdefault.jpg)
Where it cuts off, updates included:
July 13, 2023
My mom, instead of sharing cute stories about Melody, decided to tell a group of random moms about the time I tried to make my parents stop fighting by collecting change lying around the house and giving it to them (I was 7). She was laughing the whole time and ended the story with “Ah the things you learn with the oldest, practice kids am I right? (Stepdad’s name) and I never fight in front of Melody, I think that’s why she’s so much easier than (my name).”
That story is a painful memory for me, so I was hurt that she thought it was so hilarious, but I didn’t say anything and tried to brush it off.
The moms started talking about kindergarten because a few of them have kids who will be starting in the fall. My mom, who by then was shitfaced, decided that it would be a great idea to share the story of how she karened the school into letting me do gym class in my winter boots because that was the one pair of shoes I had. Again, she told the whole story with a grin on her face and laughing. The last thing she said made almost blow up; “Thank goodness Melody can have all the shoes she wants, though with how much shit (my name) pulled at that age maybe it was best I didn’t waste money on the practice kid.”
I texted my mom “I’m glad you find how poor and miserable we were so funny, but it really upsets me how you clearly think of me as practice for Mel. I’m going so someone should watch the kids.” I then left without talking to anyone.
When I got home I checked my texts and found a rant from her, saying that they were her stories and she could feel any way she wanted. She called me sensitive for “not taking a joke” and suggested I get a therapist (I already have one and she knows that) because I was “jealous of a 4yr old”. She said I was rude for leaving.
I was too upset to respond then, but after some thought I may be in the wrong. AITA?
July 18, 2023 (5 Days Later)
So, to start, I’d like to thank everyone who commented on my last post. I read through as many replies as I could and some of y’all had me sobbing. Genuinely, everyone says that the internet is a cesspit of toxicity, but that’s not true at all. Mushy feelings aside, here’s the actual update.
So, the first thing I did was talk to my stepdad. Contrary to some of y’all’s assumptions, I don’t live at my parents’s house, so I asked him over to breakfast to talk on a day my mom had work but I had off. He knows I usually plan around my mom’s work schedule, so I think he knew it was serious beforehand.
We sat down over eggs and I told him what had happened. He’d been doing something else at the time, and was absolutely shocked. Apparently, my mom had told him a twisted version of events. According to him, she’d said that I sent her an “angry text” because of a “few harmless jabs” and that she was “only kidding” and “didn’t mean any harm”. She also had conspicuously left out her drunken text to me.
His reaction to the actual content of her “jokes” can only be described as a deep sadness and frustration. He offered me true support and affirmation, something that I could never picture my mom doing in my a million years. My mom can be nice, but she’s not great at anything deeper than platitudes. What did I ever do to deserve him?
He was also completely blindsided by the fact that there was alcohol at a kid’s party. Apparently, he had left the planning to her and had no idea.
I told him that I want to go very low contact with my mom for a bit, and asked for his help to see him and Melody without having to deal with her. He said that he understood, and agreed to have me over when she’s not around.
He told me he would get my mom help with her emotions and her drinking problem, and I told him that she probably wouldn’t cooperate and promised to help him get her the help she needs in what ways I can.
A half hour after my stepdad left, I texted my mom the following:
_Hey ma, I’ve mulled over what happened at Mel’s party and I’ve come to the realization that our relationship is not healthy. You put me down for things that weren’t my fault and laugh at how you and [my bio dad] screwed my childhood up. It hurts to hear you speak about me like that, and I don’t think you understand exactly how much.
I’ve also come to the understanding that you serving alcohol at a four year old’s birthday party without even telling dad isn’t normal. This isn’t a one time thing, you start drinking at eight AM and don’t stop until bed. You have two problems, and until you get some serious help with both of them, I would like very little contact with you.
Please don’t contact me outside of an emergency._
I then blocked her from texting me
I know this isn’t as dramatic of an update as y’all were hoping for, but I hope that someone can take something from it. I know it’s only been a few days, but I have no regrets. Maybe going cold turkey off her was what I needed.
*Marked as concluded because OOP went LC with mother and it is unclear if there will be future updates*
This is the one of the most awful things somebody could do to their kid. Yet she blames OP? No. No. No. This person needs to get away from their mum.
he is not the step father. he is the father who stepped up
@@happysalt4857love your comment
OP handled this crazy beyatch like a champ.
ty for this! hope everything turns out well for them
Wait, so she got blotto at her *4 year old* daughters party and told stories about how she wasn't able to provide for her first kid but it's somehow the *kids* fault and is angry because this was upsetting for OP?
Wow...that's some self-delusion she's got going on there. I'm so happy the OP has at least their step-dad in their corner reaffirming that what she did is in no way ok and that they still gets to have contact with him and their little sister because neither are responsible for the hot-mess that the mother currently is any more than the OP is.
Hi there, fellow Australian
@@friendlyneighbourhoodbridg1354blotto
Should have joined the group of moms, “oh here’s some practice mom stories, remember those times you neglected me, constantly fought with dad, didn’t care, etc. how funny haha, hahah, ha. Oh good times mom”
"If you want lessons on how to act like a good parent, just do the opposite of what she did. Trust me, even she knows it and is trying out that strategy!"
My petty self would have. Wait till she wakes out after and flips when none of the moms want anything to do with her.
Ikr tf
I would have added that I can't wait till I could set her up in a "practice" nursing home...
I once did something similar and my mom got mad at me for "spilling her secrets to outsiders" 🤯☝🏻
What kind of alcoholics get sloshed at a 4 year olds birthday party???
What else are you suppose to do at a 4 year olds party? And its not like getting blackout . Its like 2 or 3 drinks over the party
@@Daballer261why attend the party if thats your mindset all youre doing is normalzing drugs to kids
my mother would turn mine into days of adult parties because for her "it's all about meeee!"
@@pesdiddywtf1000% disgusting behavior, so many people who deserve kids can't have them and then you get parents like that who should never have had any in the first place
All Hispanics party's
So she just told on herself for being an awful mother to you? If I was hearing that story I would just feel sad for you and so damn angry at your mum.
Women ☕️
@@FQ99More like "shitty moms ☕"
I feel like a few if not most were probably there like "what the hell? Shes laughing about her son trying to get them to stop fighting? Such a horrible mom. Poor kid, and now she treats the little one perfect, oh he must feel so sad."
@@FQ99virgins🧃
@@FQ99one woman doesn’t define the whole of us 💀
After reading the whole story clearly the moms who were invited were trying to gently change the subject by bringing up that their kids will start kindergarten soon till op’s bought up op’s experience once again saying that it was a good thing she didn’t spend so much money on her “practice” kid just wow and op told her how much it hurts to hear it from her but op’s mom didn’t take the accountability saying it was her experience that she was jealous of her sister and completely gaslighted op
Ah yes, instead of actually consoling your Daughter, tell them that shes just jealous of the obvious Favorite younger child whom youve spoiled and given all the attention to, WHILE telling other people that you were such a pathetic excuse of a parent that you not only got pregnant at 19, you also chalked up your firstborn as a "Practice child" as if raising a human being was a sport or a game! not only that, youre ALSO doing it whilst getting hammered and Drunk at a 4 year old's birthday party, which you also admitted to being more grand and luxurious than anything youve ever gotten your first born, (if they even got her anything at all)
excellent! 10/10, completely narcissistic, Egotistical, Oblivious, attention seeking and completely immature!
the stunning, perfect Mother figure, and i bet she'll still win a custody battle if it ever comes to it!
Maybe try using commas and periods next time
i wanna be a mom and honestly, id show appreciation to the first kid for going through all that how could she say such a thing
Yep!
@@girlysoap9031righttt cuz that’s the first child, the first child goes through the parent’s first attempts for parenting so they really the boss fr
10 years later: "WhY iS mY kId AvOiDiNg Me?"
no right now. OP is an adult. They went no contact
Exactly- I speak to my stepdad waaay more than my mom, at least he never treated me like a burden
Op actually went low contact with their mother a few days after the event and is helping their stepdad get her the help she needs for her alcoholism
Visible confusion
No no, “practice kid”. I hate those kinds of people man, they twist shit around and make them look like the good guy
That story only makes her look horrible. Makes you look sympathetic tbh.
Yeah it's very iffy. Not every Reddit story is said by a honest 'victim'
What is not believable about this
The fact the mom retold these things and told OP they were “her stories” so she could feel how she wanted is wild because that’s a “funny story” for her, but OPs trauma and she’s just glossing right over that.
Ngl my moms exactly like this and reading this makes me want to spit bleach into her eyes
The step-dad sounds wonderful. I’m glad he’s in OP’s life
"about the time I tried to make my parents stop fighting by collecting change lying around the house and giving it to them." Why does this hit so close to home...
(Edit I don't mean to be that person but holy shit thx for the likes)
because oftentimes, what we call a normal household isn't normal or healthy, we just think its the norm because we have nothing to compare it to and we're used to it
some of us are LITERALLY conceived just to hold a failing relationship together and in the end, we're the ones that lose the most
Baby, I'm so sorry. I know you don't really want an answer, so I'm sending you a virtual hug 💕 Stay safe and be happy, kid.
@@cheap-assrecipes5993 thx it means a lot.😊
Yeah that line had me in tears. I’ve been there and it’s just so real. For a mother to make fun of her child for trying to help is just the epitome of evil to me. What a vile woman.
I feel this in my soul (not the money part but trying to stop my parents from fighting by doing things).😢
First of all who tf drinks at a 4yo's birthday party, second why does she think it's funny to joke about being an awful parent and bringing her kid up in a broken home environment? The mom sounds absolutely terrible, and a future no-contact waiting to happen
Growing up most of the adults had a drink or two at all the parties, but not enough to get rlly drunk.
@@emilyperez4652if you watch the rest she got sh*t faced drunk, not tipsy, absolutely drunk and continuing to tell ‘jokes’ then angry drunk texted OP when he left after having someone else to watch the kids.
@@emilyperez4652Also in the update, she had a serious drinking problem
The fact that she was laughing over a scared and confused child trying to make their parents stop fighting any way they can because of how traumatic it is and that child being her own then calling that child A PRACTICE CHILD????
Oh my god.
Another classic case of "why won't my child visit me"
That’s such a heart-wrenching story. The image of a little boy trying to wrestle up some change to stop the parents from fighting about money is as precious of a sight I can imagine. He just wants the family to be happy and she’s trying her best with the little ability he has to mend things together.
The op's male
*boy. It's a guy.
Fr I started crying. I'd start bawling if that was my kid.
So sad all around. Alcoholism brings out the worst in people. My mom is also an alcoholic and she did a lot of emotional damage on me growing up. I feel really bad for OP bc she consistently puts them in bad positions. I'm glad OP is taking some space and not taking it personally.
Eh. All alcohol does is remove inhibitions, so it sounds like your mom was a poor parent and im sorry you had to experience that
@@hentaidude666 she was, and I've set boundaries as an adult. She does a lot of good bc she's high functioning but the bad is overwhelming at times
@@hentaidude666 I don't fully believe that whole "reveals the true person" thing. Some things, yes, but I simply can't bring myself to believe some of the things people do on alcohol is *ACTUALLY* them.
Some people can't even *RECOGNIZE* other people on alcohol, how is that only just "removing inhibitions"?????
@@fredericksaxton9782We are who we are because of our childhood/society
Alchohol just makes you not care about those.
It doesnt bring out your TRUE self, it brings out your shitty self
@@fredericksaxton9782 people put up barriers, social masks, facades and farces. Some people have a nature to them they know isn't in their long term interest, but when intoxicated it becomes very difficult to self moderate with no inhibitions.
One of life's difficult pills to swallow and learning how vulnerable/awful we can truly be behind closed doors or with those we trust.
If I had been one of your mother's friends at this birthday party (especially if I had been drinking with her) I wouldve straight up said "it's a wonder he turned out as good as he did with parenting that horrible. Here's hoping you don't emotionally and mentally scar Melody too." At the very least I wouldn't have been laughing & definitely would be collecting my child and leaving. NTA.
They did try changing the subject to how their kids are going to kindergarden but OPs mom found a way to shet on him with that too
@@Will_Rules and that's exactly when I would've lost my temper 😭
AITA for leaving after my mom kept joking about my childhood and calling me her “practice kid”?
My (19m) parents had me young and on accident. My childhood was nothing but money troubles and listening to my parents scream at each other. Things only got better when my mom left my dad and started seeing my stepdad. He brought financial stability and is more of a father to me than my bio dad ever was. They have a daughter together, my sister Melody.
I’m not blind, I know they shower her with attention and buy her everything they can because I had nothing when I was her age. When I was younger, it frustrated me to see her loved in a way I never was, but now I know that my mom did her best with the experience and resources she had. It’s just bad luck that it worked out the way it did.
With that context out of the way, Melody recently turned 4 and my parents went all out. They invited not only all the family in the area, but also some of Melody’s friends from daycare and their parents.
Once my mom and the other moms had a few drinks each, they started gossiping. The conversation, which I was not part of but was listening to because I was bored watching the kids, turned to sharing stories about their kids. My mom, instead of sharing cute stories about Melody, decided to tell a group of random moms about the time I tried to make my parents stop fighting by collecting change lying around the house and giving it to them (I was 7). She was laughing the whole time and ended the story with “Ah the things you learn with the oldest, practice kids am I right? (Stepdad’s name) and I never fight in front of Melody, I think that’s why she’s so much easier than (my name).”
That story is a painful memory for me, so I was hurt that she thought it was *so* hilarious, but I didn’t say anything and tried to brush it off.
The moms started talking about kindergarten because a few of them have kids who will be starting in the fall. My mom, who by then was shitfaced, decided that it would be a *great* idea to share the story of how she karened the school into letting me do gym class in my winter boots because that was the one pair of shoes I had. Again, she told the whole story with a grin on her face and laughing. The last thing she said made almost blow up; “Thank goodness Melody can have all the shoes she wants, though with how much shit (my name) pulled at that age maybe it was best I didn’t waste money on the practice kid.”
I texted my mom “I’m glad you find how poor and miserable we were so funny, but it really upsets me how you clearly think of me as practice for Mel. I’m going so someone should watch the kids.” I then left without talking to anyone.
When I got home I checked my texts and found a rant from her, saying that they were her stories and she could feel any way she wanted. She called me sensitive for “not taking a joke” and suggested I get a therapist (I already have one and she knows that) because I was “jealous of a 4yr old”. She said I was rude for leaving.
I was too upset to respond then, but after some thought I may be in the wrong. AITA?
*update*
AITA for leaving after my mom kept joking about my childhood and calling me her “practice kid”? [UPDATE]
So, to start, I’d like to thank everyone who commented on my last post. I read through as many replies as I could and some of y’all had me sobbing. Genuinely, everyone says that the internet is a cesspit of toxicity, but that’s not true at all. Mushy feelings aside, here’s the actual update.
So, the first thing I did was talk to my stepdad. Contrary to some of y’all’s assumptions, I don’t live at my parents’s house, so I asked him over to breakfast to talk on a day my mom had work but I had off. He knows I usually plan around my mom’s work schedule, so I think he knew it was serious beforehand.
We sat down over eggs and I told him what had happened. He’d been doing something else at the time, and was absolutely shocked. Apparently, my mom had told him a twisted version of events. According to him, she’d said that I sent her an “angry text” because of a “few harmless jabs” and that she was “only kidding” and “didn’t mean any harm”. She also had conspicuously left out her drunken text to me.
His reaction to the actual content of her “jokes” can only be described as a deep sadness and frustration. He offered me true support and affirmation, something that I could never picture my mom doing in my a million years. My mom can be nice, but she’s not great at anything deeper than platitudes. What did I ever do to deserve him?
He was also completely blindsided by the fact that there was alcohol at a kid’s party. Apparently, he had left the planning to her and had no idea.
I told him that I want to go very low contact with my mom for a bit, and asked for his help to see him and Melody without having to deal with her. He said that he understood, and agreed to have me over when she’s not around.
He told me he would get my mom help with her emotions and her drinking problem, and I told him that she probably wouldn’t cooperate and promised to help him get her the help she needs in what ways I can.
A half hour after my stepdad left, I texted my mom the following:
*Hey ma, I’ve mulled over what happened at Mel’s party and I’ve come to the realization that our relationship is not healthy. You put me down for things that weren’t my fault and laugh at how you and* [my bio dad] *screwed my childhood up. It hurts to hear you speak about me like that, and I don’t think you understand exactly how much.*
*I’ve also come to the understanding that you serving alcohol at a four year old’s birthday party without even telling dad isn’t normal. This isn’t a one time thing, you start drinking at eight AM and don’t stop until bed. You have two problems, and until you get some serious help with both of them, I would like very little contact with you.*
*Please don’t contact me outside of an emergency.*
I then blocked her from texting me
I know this isn’t as dramatic of an update as y’all were hoping for, but I hope that someone can take something from it. I know it’s only been a few days, but I have no regrets. Maybe going cold turkey off her was what I needed.
@@zarafaruki4818tysm for sharing
Idk why Spilled Ink stopped sharing the text..
Thank you for posting the rest
@@zarafaruki4818 Tbh as sad as this is, I honestly don't think that mum will even care other than seeing it as an inconvenience for when she needs a babysitter.
Just read the update. Still hate her but atleast the step dad is ok. Ive got no contact with my bio dad because he was a alcoholic so o just want to say it’s nice to see someone getting along with there step dad. My step dad is basically my dad too.
I swear parents don't understand how much trauma comes from them fighting. My parents fought a lot when I was younger, and often me and my sister had to be the ones to help defuse the situation. (It happened constantly, but the latest I remember is around 8y/o. It also would happen at very late times, so it also affected our sleep as children) It wouldn't be just small arguments either, it was full out screaming at each other. It has affected me a lot, and I'm still learning things about how it affects me. (Any loud screaming causes me to have panic/anxiety attacks, I'm a people pleaser because I'm scared of making people angry around me, etc.) I've brought this up to my parents multiple times and all I ever get is "that has nothing to do with you, so how could it effect you?" 🤦
The crazy part is none of those other moms called her out. My mom would’ve said something like.” You should be careful what you say about your children. You wouldn’t want to emotionally scarred them anymore than you already have.” She’s good with the passive aggressive like that lmao
If my kid brought all the spare change they could find because me and their dad were having money problems my heart would melt and I take them so tightly in my arms and give them so much love. I’d tell them how much I appreciate their thoughtfulness but not to worry because we would figure something out. I’d think back on that with pride for my child being so sweet and so thoughtful but I’d also look back with heartbreak knowing that they must have been scared and feeling so many things. 😢
They're a much more forgiving person than I am, absolutely NTA and i haven't even seen part 2, that mother sounds horrible. Your mother is lucky to have you as a kid, and she sounds like a terrible parent
So she thought it was just hilarious that she failed you as a mother that she announced it to her “friends”. Yeah I’ve been there and when you try tell them how it negatively effected you, it’s like they lose all memory of it. Suddenly we’re the ones making things up. I come from a family of gaslighters and toxic guilt tripping BS. I feel you. Going complete no contact when I can.
I was no contact with my mother until I had my daughter I love seeing them together but I really not gonna lie it hurts me seeing my mother show and give love and affection to my child that she never even thought about giving me lol
The fact he was 7, trying to make his parents stop fighting with a little money. That's just sad. He knew all their problems were because of money shortage, even at such a young age.
Stories like these make me so happy that no one in my family drinks. And we’re Latinos. There is no reason to be drinking at a kid’s 4th birthday 🤦🏻♀️ and if you need to drink then you’re not focused on who the day is about.
After reading the rest, I'm so glad that op has the stepfather in his life. 19 is still so young to be dealing with all of this, and having a parental figure who genuinely cares and is going to do whatever they can to help can make all the difference in the world.
My parents have joked about this as well because they had me when they were 19/20 and my siblings when they were 28/30 and my mom has kind of apologetically been like.... Yeah we had you to practice on. Well and to parentify :)) it's rough
I'm sorry your parents did that, it's not right, you should have had a stress free childhood
The fact that the other moms probably tried to just change the subject by bringing up the fact that their kids would shortly start kindergarten- they probably read the room and were like "wtf-".
My mom always calls me her “practice kid” or “first pancake”Bc you always mess up the first pancake.
She was 16. I’m glad she tried her best and didn’t put me up for adoption. I love my mom. We basically grew up together and now i have kids of my own and she’s an amazing grandma.💓
The fact that she points out her child, who was 7 at the time, doing her little child damndest to stop her parents from fighting as some form of bad behaviors is pathetic. Her daughter was being trashed by her own mother at her sisters party. Also what dirt bag thinks getting sloshed at a 4yr Olds birthday party is appropriate
op’s a he, but yeah
I remember purposely making myself look stupid all the time because the only time my parents got along was when they were laughing at me and I just wanted to make them happy.
My mother still talks about how book smart I am but how I have no common sense. I regret every moment because now I'm nothing but a stupid laughingstock to her.
I totally get OP, I was raised very similarly but my mom ain’t nearly as disrespectful and I’m happy to say I’m glad to still be in my moms life. I really hope the best for OP
My mother blamed me for my step dad being a child predator. She still talks bad about me, even to my biological father. I will never speak to her again. I live 8 hours away and she will never have my address, she will never know anything about me. I’m hoping to move further away.
She basically called his life a joke, her own child whom loved her unconditionally, I honestly found the loose change story so heartwarming from his side.
Every child deserves wonderful parents, but not every parent deserves a child, especially not one like him.
NTA that wasn't okay for her to say that
His mum’s the kind of person to drunkenly trauma dump at a party instead of seeing the therapist she deserves
This reminds me of the time at a party my mom was talking to a friend of mine and told her about how I used to sleep with a knife under my pillow and laughed about how crazy that was. Guess she didn't realize or care that I did that bc I was scared of being ripped out of my bed in my sleep and beat.
Wow props to the step dad, it's nice to see some good support.
when I was 7 I made valentines cards for my parents and a few days before Valentine’s Day they were having a huge fight so I ran and gave them the cards early and they said “ it’s not Valentine’s Day yet” and I said “then just stop fighting”. A kid shouldn’t have to do that
That kid was smarter and had more compassion than both the parents combined. Saw that the fights were about money and tried to help.
Stop that kid is so sweet…. It’s so terrible yet so precious…❤
I’d love to hear this story from the other moms in the group’s perspective. Not because I think it would change anything, but because I’d bet that almost all of them were horrified by what OP’s mom was saying but didn’t want to cause a scene.
Every parent group has THAT parent they only barely tolerate because the kids are friends, and I’d bet OP’s mom is this groups’
I have learned it's not normal for parents to drink at birthday parties. Good to know cause that's all my parents did. My 10th birthday they threw a party for "me." Only people there were adults. I was also was taught how to play poker that day.
this reminded me of the time i overheard my grandparents joking with their friends at a dinner party about how when i was 4 and stayed with them, i used to hide food under furniture and they would occasionally find rotting meat stashed under the couch due to the food insecurity i experienced as a child, as if it was a cute and silly little story
Thats actually the saddest thing I've heard in a while, could you imagine knowing your parents are struggling as a kid and you try whatever you can to just get them to be happy for once
It's true that you learn alot with your first kid. But, the most important part about that is learning. Learning and recognizing the things you did wrong and taking accountability for them. We're all human, we all learn and grow. And a parent has to have the emotional maturity to realize that their mistakes were not only their own fault but most likely were a rather big deal for their kids. Those are the things that happen in the earliest stages of a child's development and can stick with them for their whole lives. It's up to the parent to grow and change as well as love, accept, and support their child unconditionally so both parties as bond and become the best they can be. It's the most fundamental part of parenting.
Had a similar situation like this, used to try to scream to my stepdad for help while my mom was beating me and all they did was laugh at me while we were eating "why are you screaming for him, he wont help you" "you're just losing your voice" in that moment my 7 yr old self knew my mom didn't love me and nobody would ever help me in life, can't lose hope in humanity if my mom took it all from me.
The poor dad tried his best :-/
OP is unlucky to have such a mom. Poor kid with his coins :-s
I've gone to tons of kids parties(including mine) and baby showers where all the adults get wasted, totally forgot it's not accepted for some people. just became the norm for me. :l
I know this story all too well. Id forgotten about all those memories
Sounds like another case of “cutting all contact once the kid is old enough to move out” for me
That is NOT OKAY. OP has every right to leave and/or cut contact.
So uh, I’m pretty sure biodad wasn’t the problem in that household.
Op might want to reach out and find out for themselves what the other side of the story looks like
Yeah, I love and appreciate my stepdad way more than my mom too. Sure, it may just be some form of coping mechanism for her but its not fun to be sitting there with a stupid shiteating grin on your face as your mother mocks you in public with her "jokes". Now the mom in this story can concentrate on the golden child and I only ever speak to my stepdad now, he's awesome🤷♀️
The first story about the change, maybe it’s embarrassing, but I’d let that slide. The comments about “wasting money,” absolutely not the ahole
All I needed was the title to say nta
My in-laws spend a lot of time & $ on my SiL bc she has 2 kids from 2 different deadbeat dads. They always want to make it up to us by giving us expensive gifts & want to "balance the scales" but I discourage this behavior. We don't have NEED like SiL and I'm pretty sure we are FAR happier.
So, the scales are balanced in a way, I got the sibling (husband) that was a quality guy. In-laws deal with enough stress & financial drain. I got their wonderful son, my SiL gets help with her kids, I figure the scales are in my favor.
I heard the first part and then the intro and immediately was like "no you arent"
I get called that all the time too but she does it to my face.
Imagine bragging about how you were so broke that your child took pity on you 💀
My parents had 2 kids 3 years apart and began to fight shortly after i was born they finally finished the divorce when I was 8-10 i dont remember them being happy together they left and moved out wheb i was 7-8 this was fine because they left each other quickly the problem is..... my sister has hidden trauma from having to live with those memories i had suspicions that this trauma existed and realized how obvious it was and i cant talk to her about it. My parents refuse to say they did anything wrong raising us. My sister is a drop out and im constantly filling my environment with distraction in fear of getting depressed again. We have loads of trauma and it's clear they had struggles raising kids, but they did our best and wanted kids but where running out of time. I think they underestimated how much trauma they can give to kids and how much they need to protect us not just from adults but other kids and themselves
BTW I think I did get trauma my memories from early age was often me avoiding my parents and trying to avoid being around them together
"you were my practice kid"
Thanks Mom you were a disappointment to me too.
Imagine how desperate and scared the OP must have been when they were 7 years old and going to the point of collecting change around the house jsut so that they wouldn't fight. And the mom had the adacity to joke about it and LAUGH!?
Annoying that my parents didn't Take Care of me when I was little but now that they're Older Take Care of their own children In separate families ignoring my existence
i felt this way too hard 😭😭
Op needs to realize that his mom is the problem in his life.
This isn't fair. This is why I think SOME people should only have 1 kid. Yes kids come with different personalities, but they should be loved equally. They know when you favor.
Lol, I have the same name as his sister. Hope he’s doing okay, and I also like my stepdad more than my bio-dad
Her when shes in a elder home: Why wont my baby come see me 😭
This story is so sad. I would be embarrassed to tell a story like that. I mean when youve got a 7 year old trying to stop parents from fighting by gathering loose change to try to help, thats just horrible. My husband and i may fight but we usually do it in text or away from the kids. Kids dont beling in the middle of adult problems period.
Kids aren't an experiment. You can't justify your mistakes as it all being a practice
My mom just told me straight to my face 😀
Man, I'm actually kinda proud of CZcams for disabling video links in shorts comments
Maybe now these uploaders will actually post the full story in the comments instead of making us watch a part 2 or even 3 so they can get more views and engagement for very little effort
Oh i wonder why her original marriage didnt pan out.
Mothers ☕
My parents always joked about me (the oldest) being the practice child but it's SO different. They love me and don't view me the same as this mom. How could she say she's "glad she didn't waste money on the practice child"?! How could you say that about your own child?!
Thats legit me i was born in poverty but my parents worled their asses off and are now middle class. But swear my 8 ur old sister is so spoiled she is getting crap that i an 13 yr old has just gotten like i dont even have my own phone but my sister has a phone (we have to share) it just pisses my off that she gets handed everything
My old man was shite to me and my little sister. I learned to read in a second language (english) by getting slapped everytime I made a mistake. Years later one of my good friends told me about his family. I am so fucking glad that I atleast had my mum and sister.
“the time I tried to make my parents stop fighting by collecting change around the house and giving it to them. I was about seven.“
THEIR MOTHER LAUGHED AT GIVING HER CHILD TRAUMA :D
I hope op can find some closure in this -
Your mom didnt do her best with what she had. First kid or not. She put you through that because she didnt care.
Absolutely heartbreaking
OMG! I did that too! I had a shoe box filled with coins and one day while my parents were arguing in the garage I tried giving it to them because I thought it would make them stop fighting.
NTA, i would have told "Her Friends" about how she treated you NOT SO KINDLY, and see if she likes being the but of the JOKE.
That the kind of story you tell laughing so people don't see you cry
That's one ticket to the care house
Been told i was the practice kid way too many times. It doesn't get easier, you just learn to ignore it.
Ah, older sibling syndrome. It’s always funny the things we don’t even think about as adults. I didn’t know it was weird to be able to tell who is entering the house just by their foot steps. Lived in a house with 5 other people in uni. They thought it was crazy I could tell who had come home even through a closed door on another floor of the house. Glad OP is protecting his peace ✌️
That's messed up
I'm glad the step-dad is trying to rehabilitate OPs mom but I feel like the mom isn't a good parent or wife
and is doing it for the "financial stability".
She refers to the oldest as a
"Practice child" which is a Red flag. To top it off she had abandon the step-dad plan and HAD alcohol at a 4 year old party without him knowing (She didn't tell him later) and the only reason the step dad know is because of OP.
It honestly seems like a divorce
. She broke trust, boundaries, and was manipulative. OP doesn't sound like she had any good parents other than the step dad.
Which makes me think OP's mom was the main problem in their financial/Mental/Emotional downfall in the last marriage.
NTA and hope the Step-Dad gets out of that marriage soon.
Let's be honest. The first child is always the practice child doesn't matter if it's on purpose or not.
Especially when they were a teenager when they had the first. My grandfather was a surprise baby later in life (I think his mom was only like 34, but when you start at 17, that's a big gap) and it drove his siblings crazy. They grew up dirt poor and struggling with strict parents. They had worked their way up to middle class by the time he was born and they spoiled him rotten. My aunt Selma still complained when she was an old lady. Lol. We couldn't argue with her, she had a point. He grew up to be a nice person who took care of all his siblings and their kids though.
Yeah but making fun of their misery is not cool. It’s hurtful. I’m the eldest child too and I know my parents experiences with me made things a bit easier for my younger brother. Op’s mom not only mocked Op for being brought up poor but blamed them for it. Additionally, they blamed them for being hurt. That’s the problem here.
Also, every child is unique and different and can have very different personalities and understanding of situations. Calling them a practice child can make them feel like they’re not valued enough. It’s something that just doesn’t need to be said.
I'm glad the step-dad is trying to rehabilitate OPs mom but I feel like the mom isn't a good parent or wife
and is doing it for the "financial stability".
She refers to the oldest as a
"Practice child" which is a Red flag. To top it off she had abandon the step-dad plan and HAD alcohol at a 4 year old party without him knowing (She didn't tell him later) and the only reason the step dad know is because of OP.
It honestly seems like a divorce
. She broke trust, boundaries, and was manipulative. OP doesn't sound like she had any good parents other than the step dad.
Which makes me think OP's mom was the main problem in their financial/Mental/Emotional downfall in the last marriage.
NTA and hope the Step-Dad gets out of that marriage soon.
Based on the updates, OP went LC with mom. Stepdad honestly seems to care more about OP than their own mother...
Yeah - it hurts when you have to see your siblings grow up with different parents than you had
Nta, that's a terrible thing to say about your child!
Ngl that’s disgusting like how someone can treat their kid like that is beyond me
I think it's good this happened when Mel was 4, because I feel she would've ended up spoiling that kid otherwise
I Never believe mostly any story on Reddit except the parent ones because every child deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a child.
YOOO MY MOM CALLED ME THE PRACTICE KID!
haven't spoken to her in 10 years
After reading entire story I know why the bio dad left this woman is the reddest of red flags. Who the fuck makes fun of their own kid whilst drinking at a 4 year old's bday.
My mom called me an "experiment" because my mom had health problems and they wanted to test how to help these problems so they could spend all their time and be perfect for my younger sibling (nearly died because I was allergic to breast milk, I have insomnia, sleep paralysis, and abdominal migraines,) so after I stopped having problems and my sister got to the age of 5 they ignored me or only yelled at me when they saw me, they gave me the freedom to get away tho , but I think that was more so they could forget I existed.
bro i thought it said “i’m i gay?” the start 😭
Your not the asshole. I hope this was just something she said while drunk and she apologized to your later.
My dad can be kinda an ass when he’s drunk. however I’m kinda oblivious and don’t even realize when he has been drinking and get into arguments with him while my mom knows how to avoid confronting him while he’s drunk and de-escalate. I never got why my mom would take my dad’s side when he was saying shit to me or why she wouldn’t correct him when he was saying nonsense while drunk and just leave it be. The following is a story from when I was younger,
One day he broke the dog bowl I had painted for my first dog who passed away while bringing it up from the basement when my maternal grandparents dog came to visit. He basically told me that I shouldn’t be attached to objects and I should just throw it away when I was trying to figure out to fix it. So we got in a big argument until my mom could break us up. I was really upset and didn’t get why my mom was siding with my dad. . .which she really wasn’t it was just that she was trying to de-escalate things. I was hurt by what my dad was saying and hurt by why my mom wasn’t supporting me but was siding with the things my dad was saying as if it was okay just because he was drunk. However when I was talking ti me mom privately she explained that although what he said wasn’t ok, it was Father’s Day and he was probably drinking and upset because he was grieving the loss of his own father. It was a perspective I really hadn’t thought about because I was so lost in my own feelings of hurt. It was after this I became more tolerant of the things my dad would say when he was drunk. Not that I think being drunk is a valid excuse, if it made me mad enough to remember the next day I would confront him about it while he was sober. Though my dad likes to deny how drunk he got making those conversations annoying in their own way (especially since he doesn’t like talking to me his child about his drinking habits). I realized that the words a drunk man say don’t paint a full picture and to get a full picture you need to have a conversation.