A centenarian's advice to her younger self
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- čas přidán 7. 06. 2024
- Watch Betty's extended cut: bit.ly/BBSBETTY
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I am 60 years old, the only thing i regret is not having a relationship with God sooner. My life is more at peace now.
Blessings, he’s the only one.
I agree, same age, same regrets, same outcome - I wish you the best
Same here.😢
🙏 Amen
He will make the latter better than the beginning.
As my 81-year-old mother would say when I asked if she's interested in dating:
Men are a lot of work. And I just don't have it in me anymore.
She's absolutely right. The Bible even says a woman is happier if she remain single (though for a man, to find a wife, is a good thing).
@@Jesus_Saves_Believers Maybe we're meant to crank out twenty years, then call it quits when the kids are grown. 🤣
@@Mmmmkaaay Well, once you're in it, you're in it until death do you part, but not always, right. Life does happen.
@@Mmmmkaaay that is what most people do now anyway.
Relationships are a lot of work.
She's so genuine. There's a lot more behind that story.
Her heart got broken so hard that she could not express in words,only shake her head.
really? she sounds like a crazy person to me
Yes has a few issues when she was younger.
All died in 3 mths! Isn't that a bit suss lol
Yes! There is a deep, deep well of life lived in that Woman. I truly believe her words. She in no way appears to be 101 yrs of age. To be cognitive and mobile still, praise God's intentions to use her even now. ✝️ 🎉
I am 74 years old and I agree with Betty. I married my dear husband when I was 44 years old and knew myself well and found my perfect companion. Live your life your own way.
Betty says dont get married.
@@anastasia10017 not really, Its the advice she gives to her own younger self!
Depends whom you marry. The correct choice is everything.
Yes. And some don't make that choice. Some have arranged and forced marriages. Some just make really bad choices. I feel bad for anyone in a bad marriage. I can imagine it could feel like hell. There are both ends of the spectrum and a whole bunch of gray in the middle. It is sad there are so many wounded broken people out there who do not provide love, comfort and safety to their spouses. And in all fairness, there are just as many women who make terrible wives and mothers. It is surely not one sided.
This is advice for her younger self not everyone
@@terryduncan2432 Yes I realize that. But maybe she could have said I should have chosen better men to marry. When 2 people truly love each other, they want to be together. The issue is love. Not marriage. Even tho people can love each other and never marry. Not saying anyone needs to marry. But the point is that she never found true love. That is what is sad.
Sometimes it is the cards you are dealt and fate.
Your either a man or a female who never married
This is her advice to HER younger self. I just wanted to reiterate that fact.
Yea
Yep, that is what I would tell myself too!
👍🏽
Makes you wonder what happened to her. That's a very unusual response.
@rosemercer7159 her whole identity was wrapped around him not for herself
I’m so very glad I had my husband for 30 years! He brought love and laughter, his strong arms held me through tragedy. He cheered me on! I am blessed!
Blessings on your life, Linda. Warms my heart to know you have known true soul love.
Yeah, there's not too many that are all the way good out there. It's usually a painful mixture of love and deception, hate or whatever.
I'm happily divorced. I was married for 14 years. I wish I never married too.
We are all happy for you. But this question was “What advice would you have to YOUR younger self?” Marriage isn’t for everyone but that doesn’t mean that it’s not for you. ❤
❤
My grandmother once told me that if she had it to do over again, she would have never married and she would have had a career. This from a mother of 10 who married at 18 and lived until 96. She was around 85 when she told me that. She was in her 70's when my grandfather died.
And yet...she had all of you
the grass seems greener on the other side when you don’t accept your circumstances.
Grass is always greener. Ive never been married.....and ppl call it free..
Wow..that’s the same as saying I regret my children.
She's depressed
Marriage is not supposed to be a leash. I knew a woman (she was an electrical engineer) in her late 50's who told me when I was young and unmarried : " in my second marriage, I realised that marriage should feel like a pair of slippers. Warm, welcoming and comforting". It is to marry a kind man, a good man, the right man, a man to add to your already good life. Not to fill a void. Not to give meaning to your life.
Absolutely right❤
Not many out there
Yes! And choosing the right man for yourself is key.
Beautiful & true☀️
@@patriciaaznavourian3014if that's what you choose to believe then that's what it will be.sometimes we have to step back and search ourselves and see what's keeping them away
My grandma said the opposite. She said she wished she had met my grandpa earlier.
I wish I had met my husband of 11 years earlier too.
That's lovely ❤
Every person's life is different. This was a message to herself.
You grnadmo was lucky, this lady wasn't.
Because she had no other purpose and/or because she was codependent like a lot of women from that era.
My husband is the greatest gift I ever received. These videos are posted purposefully ...there is an agenda, young ladies! You must be wise! There is a place for singleness and there is a place for marriage. God's plan for marriage is meant for our mutual good! Don't let videos like these harden your heart! Test all things!❤
Watched the extended version. In tears, what a beautiful soul.
Where did you find the extended version
@@csg3938 the link is on the video itself at the top of the bottom portion.
@@leahbrening1101 thank you so much. Got it!
@@csg3938 yay!!!
This woman is so right! I hope all young women hear this and realize, you can't find out who you are or what makes you happy by strapping yourself down with a man or kids! First, Go out into the world, have adventures, make your own choices, be free! Make your own dreams come true. Live your own life.
That will leave you lonely and with out a family in the end
You can end up lonely even if married and children
@@ladacvijetic5494 Right. And the loneliness that one finds within a marriage is of the worst kind. It's far too common.
@tashavolovsek9115 no... it would leave you that way not them... neither are needed for some people.... sick of people thinking its some innate duty we all have, and I know all the non child couples know regret nothing!!!
She is so pained. God please be with her and grant her peace.
Yeah she’s pissed she wasted her life
Can understand how she feels.
❤🥰🙏Peace be with you 🙏 ❤️
Her pain is literally etched on her face.
Amen, I can see the pain in her eyes.
May the good Lord beautify greatly the remaining life she has, may all the blessings of heaven and all her desires be giving to her in abundance before she lives this earth.
May her joy be restored, may she testify and be grateful unto God Almighty for the new blessed things she will experience from now onward, in Jesus Christ name Amen
I think those who do not understand why she says this have no idea what it means to be a woman or what it meant to be a woman 80 years ago.
Exactly. I found talking to my grandmother who would be older than this lady often said stuff with expected knowledge and reactions and didn’t get it from the people she was talking with. It was really subtle and hard to pick up on but it was like we were talking different languages since we grew up in different worlds. I can’t find an example but if I said something like I’ve burnt the pizza, there would be a whole understanding of what that meant and that we would need to find something else to eat and everything that unfolds from it. My gran would say some stuff with a certain emotion and it seemed off but only because the context was completely lost on me.
Agreed, they come from a world we could never imagine, if a person who was born after 1980 would say what she said.it wouldn't have nearly the same meaning, it would be based on hatred, but she's different, now she's free and shall remain so until the gods decide we have been lucky enough to have her for this long. And take her to rest in paradise.
This is a valid advice for young dudes as well. It is universal. Let us abolish marriage. If a woman or a man cleans a house she/he gets paid or lives rent free. This for that. Much more healthier. Less exploitation...
Marriages don't s*ck, but traditional gender roles do.
@@fabiankaufmann6213 You don't get rid of something you didn't create just because you don't want it, just don't marry or expect anything that comes with it.
I completely understand I'm young and regret the day I got married, I feel like I'm in a trap and I can't get away, I made a huge mistake but feel obligated to this person😢, I literally do everything on my own, wish I could go back in time
Please know it's never too late. Find a way . A safe way. You do not need to accept the unacceptable.
You can still open the door to the other side , you're still young and there's still a lot of things waiting to happen on the other side , you only live once
She's responding thru the pain of all that loss. God bless her.
My husband and I always wish we had met when we were young so we could have our whole adult life with each other. We have only had 20 years so far and it feels like no time at all.
Imagine being 101 years old and still having epiphanies. She has a magnificent insight.
Wisdom SHOULD increase with age ideally, 🤭I’m 71 and my latest epiphany of importance is realizing I knew nothing my entire life that mattered but that my faith in Christ is the only profound fact of grace I cling to for salvation from God and it being the ONLY FACT that matters and I’m so grateful to Jesus Christ He patiently allowed me to accept His truth and salvation before I couldn’t . Pure mercy from God to each of us and I’m aware I almost sought the wide road ….a daily fright to know I had always sought the easy wide path although a Christian since age 11. Whew🙏🏼…living carelessly not necessarily in an evil manner but just lazy about profound truth until recently….thankfully I didn’t die before my alarm rang…serendipitous 🙏🏼🔥✝️ but nothing is random and Christ knew the timing necessary for this child of His❤️♥️ Now I have acquired wisdom
❤
She built her relationships on a wrong foundation. 😢Marriage is good wen u marry de right person and not contract but covenant dats what marriage is
I love this, and I wish I had known years ago. I always wanted to have a man who would love and take care of me. I married one, and after 14 years, I felt so alone. He is a good man, and I still consider him family, but now I feel differently about it. As this woman so eloquently described, "to never marry, to do all the things I could have done without a man." I am all for sharing a lifetime with a man, but at this stage of my life, I am doing great all by myself. I have never felt so free and at peace. She is 100, and I am 64.
Thank you for the wisdom, fine lady.
Interesting that you use the word "peace". It comes up over & over again in videos about single women across the age spectrum. One woman said: "Single men are not competing with other men. They're competing with the peace that solitude brings to women." I want that on a T-shirt!
What an incredibly beautiful lady. She carries herself with such grace.
Her voice even at this age is so beautiful
She is a beautiful woman
❤
Phenomenal. Very refined.
She suffered.
Step back for a moment and envision her 80 years ago- she was a young rose in the prime of her life.
It takes a lot of broken dreams, survival, & introspection for a woman of her tenure to look back and give herself this advice.
Had she been fortunate enough to marry a gentle, solid man who truly loved her, she probably would have had a different outlook.
- from a single mother of three beloved sons who has known the pain of a harmful marriage and by God's grace, worked hard & raised my sons solo.🕊
Philippians 4:13
God bless you hard working Mama ❤
@@abbywabby30
God bless you, too, dear one. You are lovely.
Numbers 6:24-26🌿
Thank you📖 ❤❤ and likewise sister😊
@@abbywabby30
🕊
Its the stupidity to think happiness and fulfilment comes with a man 😅 its actually the opposite, women are fullfilled and happy in their nature and its a male that cause 99,99,99 of the suffering she goes through 😅 put women on a land were they are their own big bosses with no man and you will see they will never get old or suffer 😅
At 101 she is so beautiful, she was fighting a battle that none of us can fathom. So be kind to everyone.
she has her reasons to feel that way, but i hear so much pain in her voice, i found myself wanting to give the lil lady a huge hug.
No one needs marriage. Everyone needs love. They are very different things.
In fact most often marriage is the exact opposite of love...
Women who do not marry live longer, she's not the first woman over 100 to say this. And imagine how men treated women back then.
Yet she had 2 husbands and is still living longer so that assumption is a bit off
@@lizmcclin7800 But didn't she say they both died within 6 months?
@@Iflieshe probably killed them both too
@@rachealfaucher4520 haha, well i think when they got the ability for divorce wives poisening their husbands went down. But at her age i think maybe her husbands died in ww2
Lol where u get that stat from,
She never got a chance to find her self. To know her self. Authentically express herself.
Much love sister ❤
I married late in life at 36 years old .... I can honestly say that marriage has been the best thing that ever happened to me.
I wish that I've meet my darling husband in my 20s.
I lost my husband last summer to cancer and I wish I had him back. I respect her feelings, but I don't feel as she does. I love my husband and will forever!
I'm so very sorry for your loss 😢
I think she never was happy, and blames now her father and ex husbands. So sad!
@@solangehansen5446yes i agree 👍
…even though the pain and suffering that comes with marriage…it’s the mercy and grace of God that holds a husband and wife together. It’s because of the love of God that we love; not being “IN LOVE”, mostly. Would you say?
@@aliciareese6395 Thank you.
Even with being happily married 80 years ago, the husband always had legal powers to dominate his wife in substantive ways (financially, marital rape, etc) and she, rarely, if at all could do anything about it.
Absolutely right...never free, never able to choose anything you want, or go where you want
I wish I could give Betty the biggest, warmest and most meaningful hug!!💞
She's telling her truth. Marriage is not for everyone. And if it's not a good marriage then it can weigh you down, and hold you back from accomplishing things that you truely want to manifest in your life.
My grandmother who was a first lieutenant in WW11..Told me the same thing when I was a little girl..I didn't listen because I couldn't do anything without a husband. I have been alone now for 12 years..I will never marry or even date again..the best most productive times of my life were without a man!
"preach"🙏😊
WW11? Damn, that must be a big one. You must be from the future, right?
Productive and happy are two very different things
@@Kinjo7 wth! What are you talking about?
@@susanabyad4396 I am happy when I am being productive. Get it!? They didn't and neither do you.
I totally agree! Divorced my Husband after 17 yrs, my life had been so much better in every way! I will NEVER remarry again.
Me too 25 years sitting around waiting not doing that again
Good for you ladies ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
So true! Never marry!
Same here never want a man in my life again
Congratulations🎉🥳👏❤
With tears welled up in her eyes..and with such😢 pain!
She is so graceful and articulate.
She seems proud, sad, self aware and introperspective.
😊Yes, my thought exactly. What an experience it would be to hear her Life Story.
Lord, getting married was the best thing I have ever done. I have accomplished great things in my life, but sharing these accomplishments with my husband is one of my greatest joys. He’s my best friend, greatest supporter, and my true love. He believes in me and wants me to be the best I can be. I’m an introvert so I don’t like to be around people even though one must to survive society, but to have someone you trust with your whole heart makes life so much more livable. ❤
You are the rare exception
Me too! He died after 52 years of marriage and our 7 children are so wonderful. 2 biological and 5 adopted. My life is so blessed all because of my man😊
Beautiful. I know I will have that one day.
I’m also going to say these kinds of things concerning my marriage in the future.
That sounds wonderful! I’m so glad he champions you like that.
Single women are the happiest. Single men the most unhappy
And health goes the same way, as numerous studies probe. Men are the single most energy and life-sucking drag upon women's lives.
Ya' got that right. I'm pushing 69 and never married. In love only once, lost her to cancer (already in our 30's), felt that wanting anyone would be a betrayal. I know that's not rational thinking, but it is what it is.
Now here I am, a beautiful home too big for one person, aging alone, enough money that I'll never have any worries, and wondering what life would've been had I followed a different path.
Regrets? Damn right.
@@ea42455my mom is 60 and constantly tells me not to get married 😂
But I hope you enjoy your life! If you have enough money, you can travel a lot if you like. You can see many countries and make lots of great contacts with nice people! At least that's what I'm going to do.
@@ea42455
@@millieyinaski8495 no they are happiest throughout their lives.
I wouldn’t trade my husband for anything in this world. I pray these broken ladies find a true partner in life. ❤️
When I was a teenager, I have seen many of my friends and siblings unhappy in their relationships or marriages. Many of them were so unhappy. Seeing how unhappy and miserable they were, I promised my self that I will never end up like that. I promised myself that I'm going to wait until I find the right person. I patiently waited until I was 22 years old to find the right person. Thank God that I'm not lonely and I can share my life with my spouse.
Having been married for almost 50 years, I totally agree with her,❤
How sad for you.
Marriage isn’t the end all, be all.. some people are happier alone. It isn’t ‘sad’ at all.
You are what you make it
Wow!! That’s intense. I feel terrible for whoever you married. 50 years? Why did you stay? Was it really that bad?
@@Gemmarose9012I knew I’d find the haters here. It just means you have no idea what she’s talking about.
I have to agree with this lady. Yes, you could have done all you did without a man - and done it much easier. The Italian woman named Emma who died at about 117 said that the secret to her longevity was that she divorced at 30 and never married again.
My grandmothet passed at 101 y.o., July 2013. She told me she wished she never had childern. She married, we counted 8x. Back in those days, being catholic you did not have childeren out of wedlock. She had 4 childern. It made me sad. She wanted to go to college to be a doctor.
I'm 75. Had 2 husband's, I was widowed twice. They had careers. I had jobs. All three of us were engineers but their careers required location transfers. Ladies have your own career. Be you, not an extention of another's life and don't lose your career. Betty lost herself, as did I for my husband's.
This is the sign i needed. I've been contemplating being alone for a long time. I have a son and i coparent with his father. It didn't work out in all my relationships because it's always been me who gives their all and recieve nothing. You're doing great Betty
Just be open minded I felt the same but now GOD sent me a wonderful man who is emotionally mature , who knows how to handle my not so mature emotionally self. He will gently say we can discuss this without the drama. Just let me know what concerning you so we can talk about it. No fuss no drama but he knows when something is bothering me.
No you are the problem
@@flolacandola9396 God doesn't exist. Certainly not a male "god".
I couldn't agree more with this wise woman! I knew from a very young age that I never wanted to get married. I wanted to do things in my life and men, including my father always tried to stop me and tell me that I wasn't either smart, talented, pretty, or thin enough or I don't have what it takes to do whatever I was trying to accomplish. I am now 61, and have never regretted not getting married and having children. I went on to do the things I wanted and was very successful. That never would've happened if I had married! Know yourself, follow your passions and never let anyone prevent you from living YOUR LIFE the way you want! 😊
My life improved when I divorced my husband and my son grew up. I understand what you mean. There is always something or someone telling us where we should find out value
@@carladicicco6313this is very deep. And currently this is what I am going through. I’m tired of being defined by my husband although i love him and care for him. I tried explaining how I feel but I dont think he understands fully what I feel when I express to him that I feel secondary in life. He assures to me that he never thinks of me any less but sometimes his actions dont represent what he expresses to me. That is why i now try to make something of myself and for myself to not lose my identity or at least regain a part of myself.
As a twice divorced woman, I am much happier not married and do not ever want to marry again. What I find strange and somewhat annoying, is that many happily married women simply cannot believe a single or divorced woman is equally happy and content, but just in a different way. I actually had a relative tell me, "I wish you could find someone just like Paul (her husband)." I said nothing, but I was thinking, "Nope! Perfect for her maybe, but not for me!" We are all different in what we want for our lives.
😊❤
Very similar to you Janet, knew at 12 I would never marry. My parents kept waiting for me to 'grow out of it', but I knew I never would. And I haven't. Life isn't perfect of course, but it was the right path for me.
I've been happily married for 50 years..and I know who I am and have done all the things I've wanted..and love my children and grands so much!
69 do not like to socialize, single. Living a fully engaging life & loving it.
This was brave of her to say. We as women play so many roles. People require so much of us. So many jobs and titles. And the weight of the responsibility is great. We tend to lose ourselves, even if only briefly. But to know thy self and to have relationships that allow you to be you, is never easy but so worth it.
I totally agree with her..I was married twice.Never knew me
My husband of over 30 yrs planned & renewed our Wedding Vows in the Church we married in 3 decades earlier. Yet 6 months later, I was served divorce papers. He was abandoning me, our 3 Adult Sons, all his Siblings, Cousins, Friends he's had since Kindergarten, to live with another man's wife (his co-worker) who was 10 years older than him. He said he was very happy in our marriage, but he just wanted to take another woman away from her beloved husband of 45 yrs. That became really important to him, to steal from another man. Never. Trust. Males. EVER. Even if you've known them for over 30 yrs. Judges invented "No Fault" divorces, so males can abandon one life, to go live another. The male you marry will morph into someone who wants something else, even when he's contentedly happy.
No fault divorce has benefited women even more. Women initiate the divorce more often because there are so many bad husbands out there.
Brave lady to be so honest. People will comment with attacks or support. It takes backbone to be authentic these days.
If it was me, I’d say don’t marry so young. I’ve been through so much because I married a narcissist who cared only for himself. My second husband is a gem. He treats me like I’m so special. I also wish I hadn’t had kids. They support the abuser & I feel victimized even today because of it. It’s made my life so hard marrying the wrong person. 😢
@Sara76779 I married at the age of seventeen. I was very much in love with my husband. I did not realize he did not feel the same about me. The problem with marrying so young, is that you don't yet have the skills to recognise a person who would make a bad mate. As my mother would have said, "He wasn't good marriage material". I was blindsided and heartbroken seven years later when he deserted me and our children.
Five years later, I fell madly in love with a man who seemed perfect for me, and most importantly, returned that love. Or, so I thought. My second marriage would prove to be a terrible mistake! I had married a man with antisocial personality disorder (sociopath), which he was diagnosed with fifteen years later. Also, bipolar disorder. By then, I was miserable in my marriage and finally divorced him, but I had been his victim so long, I feel like he stole a huge chunk of my life I can't get back. Like you, I was a victim.
It doesn't help that clueless people say, "You should have chosen more carefully who you married". People with toxic personality disorders can be very cunning and able to hide who they really are long enough to snare you. I had to work through not beating myself up for getting into such a destructive relationship. Also, many of the Cluster B personality disorders have overlapping traits.
My abuser passed away in 2019. Until he fell sick, he was still making demands and even stalking and threatening me after our divorce. At seventy-three, I am finally living a peaceful life and am happy.
Many years ago an advice columnist did a survey asking people if they had it to do over again, would they have children. A surprising 70 percent said no!
Yes we understand, how the narcissist ex spouse corrupts relationships even with your own children. Relatives,friends, ,One day they will understand. Many,many marriages are plagued by narcissistic individuals..pray that your children do not become like their father,or become involved with one.
Granny is one of the realest and most honest .....to share the truth of those days 😢.
I am finishing graduate school at the age of 60 with the support of my husband whom I met when I was 26. He is my best friend. Marrying him was the biggest blessing of my life. She can give advice, but to herself with her own circumstances.
How sad that she didn't marry a man that she considers worthwhile. I've been married for 30 years and my husband has been the greatest blessing in my life. I could have done everything I have done without him but it's been a joy to share my life with him. Also, when I married him, I was well established in my career and I didn't change my last name to his.
My hubby is battling cancer. He's the love of my life. He has enriched every aspect of it. If you find the one that really suits you, both of you need to learn that a successful marriage isn't a 50/50 endeavor. It's 100/100.. Love never counts the cost.
Prayers to your husband to get well 🙏 ❤
i send positive vibe to your beloved husbabd
I think we’re better off being friends with the opposite sex, it’s so nice to have freedom, money, peace of mind.
Well, I have married three times, and i don't regret it, sharing your life with someone is one of the most beautiful things that can heppen to you. I´m single now but I have three beautiful grown up kids that are my evryday motivation and companion.
My grandmother's advice was exactly the same, and she lived to a great age.
I think this depends greatly on each woman's life experience. It's different for each of us...
Yes,, and the type of "men" in their family or community ...
I am one of those who did not marry. Was in a 14 year commonlaw and when I left I felt like I know I'll never get that involved again, because it held me back even though I did everything they say you should in a committed relationship. I've never wanted to be in another serious relationship. As my sister says, marriage is a good deal for a man.
I was married off at 15 before, as my mother said, "before i was too old for any one to want.". Married 3 times because believed the lies i was raised with.
I was divorced the last time 39 years ago and regret that so many of those years i spent believing that i didnt have the right to dream or pursue anything for myself.
It is most likely that the news of my passing will happen when one day someone walks past my home noting a stench eminating from the home and thats okay.
That's heartbreaking. It sounds like she is saying she didn't plan on spending the rest of her life alone. She married and did what society said to do and she still ended up alone. She probably married young. Never got a chance to really know ourselves before attaching herself to a man. Then another man. Then all the men in her life died.
This is the EXACT thing I would say to myself too. Stay single, You’ll be happier.❤️
Yep! ❤
Omg fr❤❤❤
Thank you
Actually, you can't possibly know what your alternate life would have been like. What you can do is deal with your dissatisfaction in this life. Please get some counseling, no matter your age, it will help tremendously. I know what im talking about. I've buried two husbands.You only have this life to live. Life is always about choices. Choose to improve the one you're living right here and now. God bless.
@@bethannfeng5062 Stop projecting your life onto others! That's YOUR life,NOT hers. Lol! "I know what I'm talking about" That's so arrogant. Do you even know what her life is like? What her husband is like? We all lead different lives than each other,you don't get to use your husbands deaths as projection. Her husband could be abusive for all we know.
I love being married. Having a family and a husband has been a blessing not a curse. It has never imprisoned me in any way. Surely she had bad experiences with men in her life. It makes sense that some will have positive experiences and some will have bad experiences. Cant expect it to be any other way.
Same!
@@katrinah1898 They have done studies on people who are in their old age dying and are all alone and never married and had family and most say they wish they had and that it is the biggest regret of their life. So I think people who are bitter because they chose the wrong partner say this. Cuz in truth, being lonely sucks worse. I guess it really depends on the partner you choose and if it is a good match. That is really what it boils down to.
@lr1732 I work in a nursing home. Every. Single. Person. Dying alone has spoken of their regret.
I don’t think you understood this video and the woman’s message to her younger self.
Me too!!
It depends on what kind of husband you have / had..I was was married to a covert narcissist for 16 long and embarrassing years..no kindness no love..extended to me..,now I trust no man..Wish I had NEVER MARRIED..
This is a “Grass is always greener moment.” I’m going to be 60 years old soon. Never married no children, now extremely depressed. I’m trying now to find my own happiness. And with age discrimination having a hard time doing it. Having a hard time just surviving. No insurance money from dead husbands. And you don’t get any help until you are homeless. Stop thinking about what you don’t have and think about what you do have. Just trying to help who maybe reading this. No offense. ❤❤❤
I love how different and unique we all are. I adore being married. I cant imagine my life any other way than with the beautiful face i wake up next to every night and the sweet i love yous i hear every night. The confrontation, the sweet moments, the tears, the trials, the happiness, the moments of success and understanding, the push to be a better person, pushing for him to be a better him but also loving every flaw about eachother and laughing about them, even his beautiful name, Man ... all of it.... i love all of it.... i love him.... ❤
It depends on the man. I had a deeply loving marriage, too. But my husband was uniquely evolved. He sheltered me and gave me more love than anyone in my entire life. He was a poet, a sculptor and so many other things, too. Just a living doll. We lucked out.
@@user-tr7yg7zo3jI also experienced exactly what you have with a man with the same qualities. Heaven pure heaven. Rare as hens teeth though .
Great, that's how I feel about life itself! I never wanted to get married it's the best thing that never happened to me. I conqured fear and have the excitement of teenager. The love ❤️ of my life is life itself it's the most beautiful 😍 thing I ever experienced 💛
You are bkessed,many are not.
That was very poetic to read against the back drop of the music I liked it, but yes many aren’t as lucky to find good people
I never married. I wanted independence and no kids. Best decision I've ever made. I'm not a servant, and no one tells me what to do.
You sound like Cruella Deville
I’m in a healthy marriage. I’m not a servant and no one tells me what to do.
@@Gemmarose9012Congrats - this seems to have become the *exception* in this day and age... 🙏🍀✌️
It is the best decision definitely. Marriage is not conducive to a peaceful life, especially if you are sensitive and straight-laced.
What a righteous woman. You are 100% correct. And it goes for men too who are okay not being alone.
Sounds like marriage was a prison sentence to her.
I don't think that advise applies to everyone. She probably did not have good experiences as married woman. Unfortunately, I had a bad marriage but i know married women that have been truly happy. There are many amazing man out there that complement you with whom you can grow together and even become better people.
Her father appears to be in the negative light also,He probably was not a loving man,so many women suffer in relationships with men because of this.not having an initial loving caring man in their lives. When my husband enters the house my youngest daughter, 26,says papa,papa,papa. Runs to hug him. I somewhat was always happy to see my dad,,unfortunately he was a married man,no true commitment to my mom. Even though he spent a lot of time with her,,that was my experience .
I've been on both sides, a devoted 32 year marriage and now single. I enjoy them both equally.
I am 49 and I have never married. Almost half the marriages I know are either fake or have some weird dependency/toxic issues. If the odds of any important decision were 50/50, would you take the chance? Not me.
I love the way she says the first sentence. Full of confidence with a smile 💛 So proud of her 🧡
I understand both sides. Betty White had 2 failed marriages before meeting her Perfect Match. She outlived him by 40 years, happy to never marry again❤ Choosing the Right marriage mate is what is important,don't rush, get I wrong and you will be miserable.
I would tell myself to slow it down and enjoy every moment, stay present in time, because it goes by faster than you can imagine!
@@millieyinaski8495 So very true. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self this advice.
I'm not defined by a freaking name!! I was married 24 yrs and he filed for divorce I gladly signed divorced papers!! He later told me he thought I'd fight it but I said " I never want anyone who doesn't want me. Bye bye!!!" I've been single 21 years and never found a man who was worthy and I'm good to me. Lol
This lady just chose wrong. She could have been "Betty" WITH her husbands. She chose wrong and lived voluntarily beholden to her husbands. You are to honor your marriage and spouse but not lose yourself. That's all on her. She is old, so it was a different time with different expectations and norms, but there was no reason for her to lose herself.
She probably just had bad experiences with her marriages. So she's now regretting her decisions in life. Sad
Within 3 months she lost her father and *2 husbands*?! That 2nd marriage was quick.
One of those husbands may well have been an ex. Or, as you say, second one may have been ill to start with.
This is so sad and what a horrible message to give women. This world needs more families and more single women.
My marriage is not perfect. But i never wished i never did it. To be honest the best thing that ever happened to me is to have friendships relationships to have had human connections and to learn about other humans. And i haven't learnt more than when im married or have kids.. i truly appreciate all human connections i have ever had. I feel sorry for her.
The fact that she found herself AFTER her husband and father died speaks volumes. In a healthy relationship you find yourself with your husband. I guarantee you she was abused by all the men in her life. Tragic 😔
I guess the real answer is to make sure if I marry I marry the right man
That particular advice has a dark story behind it. The sadness in her words says it all.
I know this for my own grandma's who suffered both from different kinds of abuse in their marriages, they always told me to study to not need a man ever, it is a wound that goes through generations, interesting enough I have found the time I have been married the happiest and the best time of my life. Things we have to heal to find our own ways and happiness.
I can imagine life without my husband and family. She must have a had a terrible experience.
It’s important to understand that not all people who are older or more experienced than you have true wisdom.
It's her advice to herself tho. Not to everyone. And when she was a young woman, women were very much pressured by societal norms to do the marriage & babies thing. And for some women that leads to them losing their identity. I wish my Mom hadn't married & had us. She deeply resented being a mother & took it out on us. I've never forgotten her telling me she envied my Dad's assistant at work: because the woman had no kids.
@@sarahholland2600 sorry you had a very cruel mom. But I can tell you that it is better that you are here and had to endure some hardships than to not to have been born at all. You are here for a reason.
Am I allowed to disagree?@@suzc2167
@@sarahholland2600
Sad that you suffered this rejection. You deserved all the love in your formative years.
Hope you will find that peace & affirmation, knowing this: God loves you & has a special plan for your life.🕊
@@suzc2167 That's sweet of you. But I still wish she hadnt had us. She'd have been much happier being childless.
Im 35 and love my husband dearly. We’ve built a wonderful life together with 6 kids. I can’t imagine my life without him.
Such a sad conclusion to come to at 100 years old. Marriage is a beautiful thing and I'm so thankful for my husband.
You don’t have to let others define you. The problem here is the attitude, not marriage itself. A good marriage will support you in meeting your goals and potential
I think she's mostly hurt because she was left alone. She married twice and still ended up alone.
These are her thoughts to her younger self. You haven't lived her life. She's so profound with her words with clarity and luciditcy.
I don't believe she is hurt. She had a revelation.
This is 2024, this woman was living through the 50's...
Awesome❤ Imagine how comfortable she is with herself. Young people are the desperate ones, and they can’t see the forrest for the trees. They’re so desperate to be in a relationship but refuse to cultivate a life of their own, and build self worth first.
Everyone is different. I have no desire to marry, the thought of being someone's wife and living together just gives me anxiety and makes me feel trapped. My friend is getting married in a few months and is sooo excited and can't wait to be married.
I lived quite a while before I met my husband, but now IDK what it would be like without him and I don’t want to know. How sad for this lady.
Well, one thing is for sure prior to the 1980s, you couldnt have opened a bank account or had a credit card/account without a man... Sad.
Yeah that's not true lol. In 1974, when the Equal Credit Opportunity Act passed, women in the U.S. were granted the right to open a bank account on their own. Technically, women won the right to open a bank account in the 1960s, but many banks still refused to let women do so without a signature from their husbands.
Bullshit! My grandmother was widowed in 1932, with 2 small girls to raise. She worked and kept the world turning. The house my grandpa built burned at Christmas in 1940. She worked and she saved, and 5 yrs later, bought a new piece of land and built a home. My aunt went to work for Phillips Oil in '46, at 18. She retired an executive there in the 80's.
My mother worked in aircraft in the 50's, making bank and by the early 60's owned 2 businesses. There's a lot of nonsense that gets spread around and fools eat it up.
Btw, I'm a woman.
@@midnightgamingwithmysticni947 Wow 😳
@@naelyneurkopfen9741hmmm I’m glad all the women of the 1940s could work for oil companies 😂
Mine probably grew half the fruit that went into your ancestors’ ungrateful mouths
This is why we live in times that allow us all to have choices now. It might take us GenZ to find true love but it's 10 times better than being stuck with somebody that we didn't truly enjoy life with.
It's not the marriages that she didn't want... it's the pain of the losses she would want to avoid. Her true argument is: "If I had never gotten married, I would have never have to experience the loss." Looking into her eyes as she says her words, that is at least what I am seeing/feeling.
The sadness in Her eyes is heartbreaking