Lesbian Dating: How to Tell If She's a Lesbian - Dr. Frankie Bashan, PsyD.
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- čas přidán 21. 08. 2024
- How can I tell if she's a lesbian? It's something every lesbian has struggled with - And some that struggle with continuously. The truth is: You CAN'T tell by looking at a woman if she likes women. No haircut, fingernail length or softball throw, will tell you if she's gay. The only way you can TRULY know is if you ask her. BUT, there's a stylish way to ask and stylish way to tell. Watch this live video and get the tips you need to engage that cute girl.
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I appear 100% straight (except my nails) & am a lesbian. When I see someone I think is attractive, I tend to look at them longer than normal & instinctively smile. Great advice Frankie!
Dating in the gay world is like finding a high paid job.My sis is gay, she's cute but just can't get the girl she wants.Even now most gay women are afraid to come out of the closet.
I'm Lesbian I'm ready to relocate I really can't find a partner I hope you help me
+Stephanie Ozichi hi all
Have you found someone yet. Im intetested
@@stephanieozichi2208 you can / a man is easy to find/ you have a bigger pool to choose from / woman was made for man / not woman for woman/ the correct way for the family
Girls, I’m a straight girl and I remember with a smile the time one of my university friend ask me out. She was sure I was lesbian, I was sure she was straight and it was a surprise for both of us. It has been a bit awkward in the beginning after that, as I was really scared to give her the wrong impression and hurt her feelings. But it become easier and we just went back to be friends as usual, she’s a rare kind and I’m so happy she found a girl that love her as she deserve. :)
Lisa DellaValle why are u watching this video then?
@@GolazoFC_24 Maybe she wants to understand things, then she’ll know the signs the next time.
I think it's the eyes especially with lesbian femmes. I'm pretty good with differentiating straight girls that may think I'm pretty and like my outfit. They"ll check me out too, and be playful, they may even be bicurious. However, their eyes dont really say it. Lesbian femme women are more subtle in my Opinion. They aren't openly flirtatious in their actions, but they tend to stare a lot. The biggest sign is the eyes, the " I wanna f$%* the sh%t out of you eyes" is the tell tale for me. Straight girls just looking for attention don't give that intense look.
I am a feminine lipstick lesbian! I have such a difficult time because women always wander or think I have a boyfriend. But I have never been attracted to men nor dated any men. I am always saying no to men who are hitting on me. They who want to have my children, want to marry me goes on and on. Yet I just it I want to date a woman. As a FEM it's hard for me!!
Do you mind us talking?
Me too! I’ve been repeatedly coming out for 35 years because everyone thinks I’m het. I’m only into other lipstick femmes too and if I (rarely) d er meet one, they only like butches! It’s so unfair and lonely.
very true its very hard
I am a straight female and this is all true. I didn't know that gay women have a reputation of taking less care of their appearances as they get older. But I want to tell you - I take care of my looks and I never wear make up. I like looking as natural as I did when I was 12! And my nails are short and not painted!
Also, as a straight woman, I am NEVER offended of someone showing sexual interest in me. I am ALWAYS FLATTERED!! So don't worry!
I have been burned quite often, when I had ask another FEM who I thought was a lesbian. Recently my coworker pursued me ask me out to dinner. Flirting constantly with me, this went on for a long as other colleagues. Go to suspicious of our relationship/friendship. My friends as I told them the story and insisted I come out to her when I did she ended the friendship. We did so much together I am now healing from that experience.
I don't get it - what happened? It wasn't you!
Can we all Just agree to wear small lesbian flag pins when we're down to flirt? T-T It'd solve so many problems.
linaride How 'bout a pink triangle? . . . Why is everyone glaring at me?!
I ain't mad at that
👍
linaride reasonable ask!!
Or let’s just create an eyebrow slit. Very cool!
I am 67 years old and felt a little misunderstood in what you said about people my age. It does not mean that you are not looking after yourself if you don't want to wear makeup or wear fancy clothes. I am a very natural woman and I am definitely not a butch. I am just an old hippie and I am just my natural self. I am not following the crowd never have. I wear skirts and tee shirts no bra because I burned mine when I was 20. I have long grey hair and 2nd hand clothes. But that is just our way. That does not mean you aren't looking after yourself. I think this is shallow and is a totally uneducated view.
Radha Das333 thank you! I don't dye my hair or wear makeup and I am 31 because I am not a fan of the chemicals and stuff in most products. Appearance greatly depends on what individuals are attracted to. I think just maintain good hygiene and eating well is fine.
SooMuchMore. Yes! Some of us are interested in alot deeper things than this💜💜💜
@@radhadas3339 Way deeper things! Lol
Not everyone likes or appreciates makeup. I am a masculine lesbian (stud) and do not wear makeup at all, nor am I particularly attracted to women that wear makeup. However, I do take good care of my skin and my appearance and I appreciate a woman that does the same. If a woman feels more comfortable to wear make-up, then she should. If she doesn't, then that is fine too. You should present yourself in whatever manner you are comfortable and confident. When a woman is comfortable and confident in how she looks, then she looks and feels sexy. Side-note: I am 42 and have a full head of salt and pepper hair and get nothing but compliments ;)
You might change your mind as you age (as I have)----just throwing that out...
I'm bisexual, I live in a not so progressive small city and I always end up going out with men because it's so easy to find a man compared to finding a girl. I've tried and failed to get a girl so many times, we will often just message for months and nothing ends up happening. I've never had a relationship with a girl because of that and I yearn for it so much, I don't even have that strong of a connection with men.
Hello there me too xx
So sad. Maybe you need to move to a city with more gay community/lesbian activities where you can meet women. Life is too short to just keep yearning and being deprived. Best wishes to living your best life!
I have the same problem. It really sucks. Also, I like feminine girls and I am shy🙈
I'm so happy I found you. I'm a senior, I didn't tell anyone for years, I'm out now, but I so afraid being older. Today the young
Women want women who are pretty, and young. I'm retired and a Army Veteran. I keep busy, and have some gay woman friends.
Thank you so much Dr. Frankie. I live alone, and don't go to Gay Bars, because I don't drink. I'm a Coffee ☕ drinker. I need your
help
Everyone knows if someone likes them by the way they look at them so that’s one way you can tell if a woman likes you.
Thank you for reminding the older community that it’s of paramount importance to take care of themselves.
Nailed it at 3-4 mins-- so true, women are flattered and feel good when complimented in the right way. I know I do! So we do appreciate how courageous it is to do that. So if you are kind, respectful and a plus would be if you are totally adorable, then you have nothing to fear. The worst that could happen is that she politely says thank you for that comment or whatever. But damn I would never ever have the courage to go up to a woman and say things like that!
I met a lot of girls with short nails uhm... it has nothing to do with being gay. I sometimes ask them and they say it's because they bite their nails or just hate it.
Myrk Fælinn some are just nurses🤨
Or musicians
Short fingernails can also mean she's a healthcare worker...
or big on hygiene
Or a musician.
Musicians mostly have short fingernails
a GAY healthcare worker!
Wearing makeup
= "maintaining yourself"
(?????) Nope. Wrong. There are a million ways to maintain yourself that aren't friggin makeup. Health, and being comfortable in your own skin, are way more important than eyeliner and lipstick. Eww
I agree with most of this except for the makeup bit. You DO NOT need make up to enhance your beauty. Not a little, not a lot and not at all. Makeup is not a a indicator of how much you care about your appearance.
Very true.
pepsiforever1 at less u know what U want
I don't wear make-up because I feel self-conscious with it on.
Make up is fine if you want to wear it. I enjoy a woman's beautiful artistry. But, it's not necessary. I also enjoy a woman's beautiful face.
💓I totally agree
I finally admitted to my married with 4 children (all boys...yep:)) pastor's daughter, that I have loved her since a young girl. Her and I have always had such a lovely bond. It's the purest bond I've ever had with anyone. We've sang together and were always close. She basically told me that she only saw me as a sister. But I can't help but think that she feels deeper. But I'm not bothering with the issue anymore. However, I do see her look at me quite a bit, and even after telling her that secret, she seems to initiate more affection and heartfelt hugs. I'm confused, but I love her enough to let her go. She's an amazing woman. I only want her truest happiness.
MoreMe LessYou I think the problem here is a bit deeper isn’t it? Like married?!? Mom?!? And straight. So I would walk away sweetie
Such a great advice. I am really gonna do what you have said from now on because I already lost a chance with a girl I liked. But not anymore. Thank you for such a great advice and yeah I have to be bold😊🌈
Ohhh , I feel happy for the women who have the courage to go talk to a woman they like without knowing if they are gay or not!!! I feel frustrated because I just could NEVER do it! I can NOT take this risk :(
My nails aren't short and I'm gay! Will people not be able to tell I'm gay!?!
OncerPotterPendragon nope
OncerPotterPendragon not exactly but it’s a stereotype so 🤷🏽♀️
For me a girl with short nails is lesbian . With long nails isn't a lesbian.
I don't colour my hair, does that mean I don't take care of myself?
I remember my younger self going out to dinner with my family and noticing women that seemed more butch and forming small crushes. I was always too shy to say hello because it would have appeared out of place, but it definitely helped me come out of the closet.
Thank you! I appreciated this topic.I don’t find it hard to find out if a woman is a lesbian because I’m slow to move. I’m not shy, just slow, and like to get a sense of a woman’s character before I start acting on my interest. Usually she indicates orientation soon enough.
Love ❤️ your talk. I am reminded how important it is to use "I statements". "This is who I am. Who are you?" You have a mediately made yourself vulnerable instead of sounding like the grand inquisitor.
i like how ur rrally straightforward with ur information.. i like how u tackle the psychological stuff
I could be speechless when someone come to me. 😊 and i dont know how to react. Please help..
I really appreciate up front people like this.
Hey ladies---I have approached MANY women who I have no clue if they are gay or straight. I will give a compliment first and then see how it goes. I've had about a 50/50 success----so yes I've met women this way----My theory is to just like who I like and approach any and all women---you never know what gem you might find. ;-)
im gay but I like a girl but i don't know how to tell her I know she is too but I can't just go up to her
I have a crush at work. But I would rather keep the friendship🤦♀️😕
Relatable
Autumn Winter i really like this woman she’s very pretty we have been hanging out as friends but I am NOT sure if she’s gay. She is in her forties, never been married, no children and no signs of had having boyfriend.....!!!!!
Come over am single
Christie Marfo creep....!!!!
Thank you, Christie🤮
It’s so hard being a “ fem “ looking for a fem smh😩
How old are you? What measures have you taken in finding a date?
@@peaceandhumanity5705 I’m 20 and honestly just flirting with a girl but they don’t get the hint, they think I’m just tryna be their friend. Definitely should speak up though.
@@RicannMk I honestly think you should talk about your feelings more (in a comfortable moment of course)
Say things like 'I'm starting to think of you differently, you're cute! I would love us to hang out more....
Wait for their response, don't be too pushy
@@RicannMkHey!
Was my tips of any help?
facts
FYI Some jobs require short nails to do your job well. Massage therapists keep their nails short. Some beauticians too, depending on the services they do. If they're doing certain facials for clients daily, they may choose to keep their nails short for their job.
And musicians as well!!!!
sometimes you don't wanna tell that you're gay cos you're not out yet... and in order to come out you maybe want to experience flirting or even kissing with women... but I get you, it's hard NOT to bring it up.
Can a lesbian recognize another lesbian? Through fashion and body language and attitude? I’ve been wondering this for years myself thank you for answering my curiosity I really enjoyed the video thank you for sharing ✌️❤️
I know an talk to alot of women, but have no idea if any of them are gay. So I am just waiting for the right women to come up to me.
I'm also femme. Great advice!
I always had to hide my sexuality when I was younger. But coming out was very awkward for me. I ALWAYS loved women. Had about 7 relationships and none worked out. They always cheated so I have given up on finding anyone. :(
All the lesbians I know in my litte town act very man like. I never felt like dating them, because they cheat on their partners all the time. I have a more feminine look, so no one expects me to be gay. So now I'm Single 🤷 Long story short..I understand you problem😅 Cheating sucks.
I like when some one comes up to that are friendly and kind I love compliants they make me feel really good and warmth because I can be stand offish
nice and valuable video. I had a case where I straight women was every evening strairing at me and smiling while pretending she is on phone. that happened every night when I go to stadium for training and open cross fit exercises. I did one day with my hand tell her put a smile a your face and did smile. Next day ,she talked to me and kept talking with each other, I felt from her more than friendship
When I tried to go further, she was afraid as I am live in UAE where LBG community cannot be public. since then,she moved to Lebanon with her husband,kids. For that is hard. I do have everyday people hitting on me both gender and I am trying to be careful as I do not want to hurt or be hurt. I think it is not all about sex but more about feeling safe,protected and taken care of
I really like the topics and you are very transparent. Thank you for having this channel, but I only have one critique. By no means I'm being rude, but maybe you can reduce the number of times you use the phrase "um, ums".
Thank you for allowing me to share
Lol!
Hey fems (late 20's-30)
I couldnt help but introduce my self 😂♥️♥️
I was always flattered when women approach me and i am straight. Some straight women freak out because its unfamiliar to them.
Being single I let my nails grow.. maybe.. I should reconsider lol
Emily Hall me even if I am single I ALWAYS keep my nails short.. what do u know.. lol
I'm lesbian. I have ehhhh medium nails? Like not to short not to long.
Lol I do the same when I’m single
All this talk about nail length. As stated earlier, there are many reasons for one to keep one's nails short…sports, occupation, musicians (I play guitar and my nails are always short), but I must say, the idea if a woman lover with long nails….not gonna thrill me.
I am straight but I love to make friends
thank you..this video help me understand few of my confusions...
like I alwayd liked my nails short...since a kid beacuse of Hygiene...when .they grew and I i didnt know how cut because i was young I used to bit my nails... once I learnt how to cut by myself i keep them short... even though I didnt knowledge myself as a lesbian it took me like one 20 years ...high school never interested in boys now in college the same...but once I stopped to think a bit i realized that all my faborites characters and people arr women I always thought i wanted to look loke them but happens I'm not that girly like them not a fan of makeup ou polish nails and I only dresses as a femme because I'm afraid of beign judge and I'm still in thr closet...i kind get to my sense that i like women in 2018/2019 and yet I was like I'm must be bisexual...but not considering have something with a guy... like never only friendship..so I might be a lesbian... also I've never been with a man o a woman my whole life. I'm also shy as hell kind introvert and speak low tgat sucks when people request to speak louder 😧
Me too.
I love this, but I feel like a lot of this excludes some of us with disabilities. Being on the autism spectrum makes eye contact and body language incredibly difficult to read/ understand/ express. Mobility issues definitely impact the way body language is expressed, too.
As far as finger nails, those of us who don't have a woman partner currently, especially femmes, may get our nails done or let them grow because we don't have anyone currently.
Charli Barraza I'm Autistic also, i have had these issues myself. Never had a woman interested in me, maybe they think i am straight because i need to get to know them first before feeling comfortable to look at them ect which that chance always passes by :/
Charli Barraza g
Great video, thanks this is going helping me a lot.
Awesome advice and so love the video and thank you for sharing this and I have learnt something from you and wow ❤
What if shes confusing an gives all these signs but every time she gets a gay joke thrown towards her its like she flips out an makes it clear shes not like that ?
I have a friend who is not gay but she keeps her nails very short because she plays the piano and you can't play the piano with long nails
two very shy people trying to get the point across they're gay and like each other....what a nightmare. In my case it led to rejecting each other and two broken hearts. I still can't get over it six yr later
Im crushing with one girl.. we always do a lot of eye contact, smile & laughing a lot... but every time i ask her to go out take some drink she always avoid.. i ask her for 2 times... end up im resigned bcoz got new offer.. i just back off from her... hmmmm
What if your single an overweight but not that overweight how do you know if a women is attracted to you
Maybe you can explain to me why do lesbians hate pre-op transgender women, in general
Beautiful smile!
can you please extend your march making out of USA maybe even up to Canada, and even do like a long distance matching up, we might have out perfect partner in another country, who knows?
+sheilla joyce: We DO do long distance matching up - all the time! Please get in touch with us by sending us your info here: www.littlegaybook.com/contact-dr-frankie-bashan/
True
@@drfrankiebashan i just came out as lesbain last week my mum and dad dont like gay and lesbain but they sitll loves me that good ?.
Uk too please xx
short fingernails should not be a tell 🤦🏻♀️ some keep it short because of their occupation..
You can’t finger your lover with long nails
Omg can't believe I missed it, can u please make the next live stream much later in the day?
Hi Karen: No worries. There will be more. What time "later in the day," would you prefer? And what time zone are you in? Thank you.
+Little Gay Book I live in Texas, n I do my internship early in the day😊 thank you I would love if the next live stream could be some time after 5pm central time 🙌 u r awesome!!! I luv ur channel! 😄 I just came out to my family n ur channel has seriously helped me.
+Little Gay Book but really tho anytime after 5pm would be awesome sauce 🎶😉
LOVE your honesty---you're amazing
I think your wonderful and thanks for the advice.
doctor tell me please! some people are gay and some people are straight etc. what is the thing that caused the difference? It is because of different hormones or different brain structure? I just wanna know. What makes people gay or straight?
At my school, we wear a uniform so it's a bit hard to tell if a girl is gay or nay... And a lot of straight girls wear pants and I wear skirts all the time... I did a coming out in class because of a project about accepting people for who they are, but I don't know any other lesbian! How can I find an other lesbian in this case?
Kawaiifr34k go to gay parades. events that have gay ppl there. join an online group like candid and post topics. its so many ways to meet someone from the lgbt community.
Kafee the small Lesbians are all over the world on the internet but very limited in our real life.
When I flirt online it's easy for me but when I flirt in real life it never works out. My mind is messed up I hate that.
really good video! thanks
Hi I’m not butch or fem and I’ve had a few straight women just became friend and well had relationships with them
Another thing is if her ring fingers are taller than her pointy fingers
I usually find a way to tell them I'm gay and if they're gay they will usually tell me they are after.
Thank you kindly for the amazing advice.
All the piano players keep short fingernails :D commoooon
I want to ask the woman at my gym but I feel that if she’s not it’ll be awkward for me. Like the old saying “don’t s**t where you eat”
Any advice?
I heard that's a good place to meet gay women. I'd try it. If it ends up weird or her being an ass about it then she's just a bitch. It will be fine. Maybe a little weird but you'll be ok.
Lamp Shade thank you. She told me she has a boyfriend but I haven’t asked her if she was bi or not. That kinda put that question on hold for now. I can still become friends with her. So far she seems really cool.
Hey that's still great. It would be cool if she knows a single les girl too. I'm glad you went for it though. I'm just trying to get back out after 7 years of not seeing women. Maybe I should join a gym lol
I'll like for my coworkers to know me, but I am scare.
So what can I do?
Talking about yourself being gay does nothing but humiliate just asking people does not work either because tuns of people watch and laugh asking is looking for humility.
there's a woman I like and whenever I see her she smiles but whenever I go for a hug she just gives me a side hug. I can't tell if she's just being friendly or if she likes me back.
What if the hugs is a gentle squeeze?
i am glad that this was not information completely based on stereotypes. thank you. 💋☺️
people who play the guitar or violin often have short fingernails also ^^
I need help I’m a butch lesbian with no gaydar it sucks
hello friend i feel your pains😥😥 do you want to free from this struggle that you are right now
I no of a spiritual man that can help you get your ex back give me a feedback if you need help
..
i would like to ask you if you think that, in a way, the lesbian disarray is in some way related to the political stands, and if the not being fashoinable is related to the questioning of gender and the rules of desire and aesthetics
I have a crush, she attends to the same gym I do, and... She is beautiful.... Hot, damn... She is straight
I love this you are amazing I am fem
🙋♀️🙋♀️🤗🤗 not everybody is the same I'm 60 I take care of myself I even coach soccer not everybody's the same though but you're right we should take care of our self no matter what age we are🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦💝💝💝
Hi
@@RekhaKumari-nd9ty good morning
@@nicolettavitulli4724 gm
I did tell her I like her she wasn't to thrilled about it in fact our friendship is now akward she said she is definitely straight and not into being with me that way.
plus she went back to her boyfriend that she had broken up with before all this happened
Awww that sucks :(..
Heather Napper Congrats! you don't have to linger around wondering about your friend anymore. You can move on and live your life fully and will meet a girl who will fall for you someday. It might feel like end of world now but it's not.
Amen!! You were very brave to do that and you know where you two stand..
Well she wasn't a good friend. I fell for a friend and it certainly felt like she felt for me in that way. When I told her I had feelings for her she apologized for leading me on and it was awkward for like 10 seconds but we moved on .. She's still one of my besties
So, you knew she was straight from the start? Dude . . .
Super cute! Great advice
Any one here interested?🧐
I'm not feminine or masculine, but I feel everyone sees a straight woman 😭
What if she wants me as a man for cover up but is actually into women
If a lesbian has long nails it can hurt her lover
Hi there beautiful and warm greetings from Germany ‼️ I am lesbian and very inloved with my colleague of work T.B. since 2 Years and half. We see us in in breaks, we smoke together, I helped her with everything anytime when she need , at the end of the work we kiss on the face (left and right side) , we hug each other very nice, I am holding her hands anytime is possible, for a few seconds, but even like this I still don’t know if she is like me. Is hurting that in more then 2 Years I still didn’t understand. I am afraid do not get hurt, I am afraid to not offend her……. Sometimes I wrote to her letter , by telling her that I love her so much and she mean a lot to me, she is answering the same, but in those 2,5 years I still don’t know if she is like me, if she will accept that I kiss her . Very painful and me - no kind of courage ‼️ Please answer to me, give me some advice. Sofia Walter (Germany)🌈♥️
There's also press on nails that u can take off when it's time to finger someone (or play electric guitar, cuz I do that too :P ). I'm a femme top and I use them alot and paint them up (plus really flexible fingers that bend back pretty well) so the fingernails thing isn't always true. One way can also see if she's a lesbian that's into u is if she giggles alot when she's around u, and other social cues that she's into u, or if she wears gay pride wear she might be gay, and at the very least she cares about gay rights. I agree w/ u. I think ppl should tc of their appearance & oneself. Very true. Amen. A good way to make it clear ur a femme lesbian is to wear alot of pride wear (rainbow necklaces, rainbow badges ect.) or put a gay pride bumper sticker on ur car, or stickers about how u like _____(
29minutes... IMA HAVE GREAT GAYDAR AFTER THIS, LET ME TAKE NOTES
kiwi kawa lol kiwi why do u think so
Liked & subscribed!
What is the podcast called? Is it on Apple Podcast app?
I love pick up lines.
Well done. Thanks.
awesome - content - very helpful
If by night, everybody on the planet suddenly turned gay!?.....
Im on my dads phone im bi
😂
What if your at the swimming pool?