How to Tell Someone They Smell - Follow Our Easy Script
Vložit
- čas přidán 21. 10. 2013
- How to Tell Someone They Smell - Quick & Easy!
Read more about Shari Harley and the complete business communication training program at www.candidculture.com.
Communication Skills Training Video description:
You can tell someone s/he smells in two minutes or fewer, and when you giving this feedback, you're doing the person a favor. Giving feedback doesn't have to be hard or take a long time. The more direct and quickly you give feedback, the better. Get the words here to tell someone they smell in two minutes or less.
Shari's bio:
Shari Harley, author of the book How to Say Anything to Anyone, is known globally as an engaging, funny, content-rich business speaker. Her international training firm, Candid Culture, is making it easier to tell the truth at work. Shari is bringing candor back to the workplace. A former HR practitioner and operations leader, Shari's practical approach has led her to speak and train in Singapore, Thailand, Malaysia, India, Dubai and Australia. From 'Making Meetings Work' and 'Delegating Better' to 'Managing Your Career' and 'Saying Anything to Anyone,' Shari's tips are sure to delight and inform in a real, direct and very funny way.
Learn more about Shari Harley and Candid Culture's communication skills training programs and keynote speeches at www.candidculture.com.
Read more about Shari Harley at www.candidculture.com and www.howtosayanythingtoanyone.com.
About Shari Harley
Shari Harley is the founder and President of Candid Culture, a Denver-based training firm that is bringing candor back to the workplace, making it easier to give feedback at work. Harley is the author of the business communication book How to Say Anything to Anyone: A Guide to Building Business Relationships that Really Work. She is a keynote speaker at conferences and does giving feedback training throughout the U.S.
Read more about Shari Harley’s giving feedback training at www.candidculture.com and www.howtosayanythingtoanyone.com.
How to Tell Someone They Smell - Quick & Easy!
I have a hard time to tell my roommate that she had body odor..so I just play this video loudly instead
😂😂😂👍👍
Omg! Really? And?! Lol
I have the same problem
My cousin leaves a nasty odor everywhere she goes, it smells horrible 🤢
Xd
When you tell people the truth,you do them a favor
I’m so glad that I always smell nice and people always complement my perfume and ask what kind of perfume I’m wearing. People have no idea how a person can gain people’s respect when they look and smell nice. You don’t have to follow a trend or buy expensive clothes or wear a lot of makeup or show too much skin. It’s about looking clean, fresh and appropriate.
You gotta understand some people can have anxiety to trigger the sweat glands and make their body sweats. Even with strict and consistent hygiene, but if one is getting anxious or nervous, that would make them sweat and leads to uncomfortable odor.
I don't look nice, I don't smell nice
@@alias1267 u okay?
@@jamesjames1536 right now, no I'm not ok, life's been doing all the things i dont want jt to do
@@alias1267 I can totally relate to that
I was once homeless because of life circumstances that I never imagined I could go through, I ended up living in my car for about 6 months till I found a place.
It wasn’t easy having access to showers, but I'd shower in hotels whenever I could.
I’ve always been meticulous with taking daily showers and, there I was facing such a situation.
My boss at the moment took me to an office with a lady from HR who had been there waiting for us, and there it goes one of the most uncomfortable conversations in my life.
I felt humiliated but, of course I apologized for making people around me feel offended by my odor.
Just for advice and, pure kindness, tell people directly in private, don’t spread it around because that way you won’t solve anything, and the person will feel horrible.
This is hard to say...... seriously
It really, really is. Especially when it’s your roommate and one of your closet friends. Who only showers every couple of days or so... 😭 and really don’t wanna hurt their feelings when you’ve told them already and they didn’t take it well! This was two years ago, btw!! 😭😭😭
Just remember how they smell and you will get the courage to say it
Just tell the person. Easy as pie. You make the person feel worse or confused by not saying anything
actually, i think that's the opposite
@@myasmrvideoswentyeet3740 i agree
And say it directly to the person in private, instead of spreading around the gossip and at the end make her feel worst.
IF you really have to tell someone they smell then…
1. Think before you speak.
2. Speak with kindness.
3. Be diplomatic and tone down your language.
4. Ensure you communicate on a 1-2-1 basis.
5. Be specific about what kind of smell it is.
6. Offer a helpful but fair and realistic suggestion for a solution (if they want it).
7. Smile and add a thoughtful touch to their arm or shoulder.
8. Be open to others perspectives and ask if they have any issues with your smell or anything else. This shows your equal approach.
9. Leave them alone to consider your suggestion.
I'm a massage therapist and occasionally I have to work on someone who is funky . This video helped me with an extreme odor situation and it WORKED!
Insist on a shower before massage
I'm going to have this talk with my grandpa and I'm scared I don't want to hurt his feelings.
Jamecia I have to tell my grandmother and I’m freaking out😭
I know the feeling. My dad has been going through a lot of mental illness and literally doesn’t shower. I just said it and feel horrible about it but I had to bc it’s just unacceptable behavior I feel.
Hey, does anyone have suggestions? Did anyone ever get their elderly loved one to shower without making them feel awful? I've gotten my father everything he needs, a safety bar, a shower stool, soap. He's not that old, but he has a life long habit of not showering. His tub used to be filled with clothes as a kid I believe (thats how his mom's house used to be anyway. I had to ask them if I could take the clothes out for a bath and let me tell you... Yuck. No one bathed in that thing for a long time.
But I just don't know how to tell him?! When I gave him the soap and chair and everything, I reminded him he had only taken one shower which I encouraged a year ago for a friend of the families party. That was it for the past year. I'm dying when he opens his door in the mornings and even my daughter doesn't want to hug him at all. She stopped giving him hugs at bed time too. I was the same way as a kid so I know how she feels. I just don't know how to put it but man, it makes me consider leaving. (I stay here to kind of keep him company/cook/clean after my mother passed in January 2019)
@@JamieYAYme First off I'm so sorry for your loss I can't imagine how it feels to lose a mother so my thoughts are with you. I had a talk with my grandpa and used the advice given in this video but still he walked away looking like a injured baby bird from the conversation. I don't think it's possible to have this talk without hurting someoneps feelings. He did take a shower when I asked him last year because we were going to be in the car for sixteen hours to visit family. But this year he hasn't taken one bath at all, it's frustrating and I don't understand. His room makes the house smell when he opens his door, we've honestly given up at this point, he's 87 and he's not going to change now.
I think you should have a the talk with your father and be very gentle sometimes you need to have another if you see him going back to his old ways. He didn't grow up with good hygiene like my grandpa but hopefully it's not too late for him to learn.
Just buy him soap
Great video. I had a middle eastern classmate that was a personal friend that I considered having this conversation with. I never did because I did not want to hurt her feelings and its kind of shocking that you say that most people know. That's crazy knowing would be enough motivation to take action. But everyone is different. I watched this video for nursing school and I am glad I did. I wont keep my feedback to myself around this topic if it happens in the future. Thanks
Thank you, this was very helpful. i had to tell my boyfriend he reeks, like literally reeks to the point where i gag. so i finally told him but he did dump me after so a bit miffed tbh so you will be hearing from my lawyer
OH, GOD! I KNOW TWO PEOPLE WHO HAVE REALLY REALLY, BAD PERSONAL HYGIENE PROBLEMS, AND, I JUST DON'T WANT TO GO WITH THEM ANYWHERE ANYMORE, I DID TELL THEM THAT THEY SMELLED HORROCIOUS, AND THEY GOT MAD, WELL, AT LEAST I TOLD THEM! WE
Sage advice, thank you.
thankyoyu very much my friend needed to hear this
Very well said, very well done!!! Now, do I have the courage to put this into practice? Probably not.
Great, thank you.
I just say “OMG WHAT IS THAT SMELL?!” And then glance at them but that didn’t work this time 😂
I really hoped I've check this before telling someone they have an odor awhile ago. But so far steps was there just not complete. And yes it wasn't easy.
My brother stinks real bad he never leaves his room he smells like bo and mold i about throw up every time am near him i told my parents they know he smells bad they get angry when I said something about it he don’t shower I bought him body wash and expensive deodorant too I was trying to hint to him that was 5 weeks ago never showed it’s really making me mad
That could be a sign of depression that might want to keep an eye on him.
I read the comment I felt so bad! Cause for the pass few days I’ve been trying a new deodorant and it doesn’t work for me, and finally I realize that today 😬am so embarrassed going back to that work place
I have a hard time keeping it polite because of the very fact you mention: Stinky people know they stink! I find it insulting someone would knowingly come to work or into a public space knowing and not caring or considering others about their stench. I just want to berate them on their obvious apathy and ask them how TF they deal with their stink and how TF they think it's ok to subject others to that. I get a lot of people are depressed, but so am i. If I'm not up for showering, I'm not up for leaving the house. Simple
I saw what you did there. "I don't want someone to not want to work with you because of this."...takes the focus off you as the bad guy, the complainer.
You really meant, "I don't want to work with you because you stink!", but that might cause hard feelings.
@Mangees Mom That's awesome. Now you know it's not just you. For example, I have a sensitive nose, so sometimes I wonder if it's just me noticing someone's odor.
i’ve literally been here thinking of different ways to get them in the shower for a good hour like it’s soo bad omgg (respectfully)
Thank you. This is a good way to approach this very difficult matter.
What would you suggest if the offending party approaches you and asks if they are off-putting malodors and the party, well, stinks to high heaven? I know of a woman who is aware of the matter, is doing all she can to mitigate the smells (5 showers a day, extremely generous with antiperspirant, fresh clean clothes, never wears anything twice, etc), went to doctors who dismissed her, and have straight up asked people and they said no there's no problem while they were ridiculing her behind her back.
She's a coworker of mine, she didn't always have this issue and I know at times she has been in a panic over this issue that is really horrendous. So, she is aware of it and no one will tell her the truth and doctors have told her she is delusional when there is clearly an issue that only recently started.
I don't know how to help her but she is a mess about it and I really don't think it's her fault. I feel horrible for even saying anything but I want to help her.
CupcakeExplosion tell her to take a Zinc supplement, “zinc and don’t stink”
COme one, people know if they smell or not.
Some conditions aren't treatable
Homelessness is one of them.
After an abusive partner. I ended up living in my car and, getting showers everyday was hard. I was able to take them only twice a week and, went through that humiliating conversation with HR and my boss, they said “we’ve noticed…”
I needed my job. I needed my job more than ever, so what I’d was say “Thank you for letting me know and, I’ll work on it”.
It’s been 6 months now and, I finally got my place. I quit that job 3 months after that, found a better one.
My friend smelled bad but I dealt with it for 1 and a half years and one day her and my other friend came in a room and my other friend was like "has anyone ever noticed she smells bad" and i was like "yea" and now she fixed it and doesn't sink anymore
Kdkdjd Jdkdkw what did she use plz tell me
deoderant carry it around with you. I was once a smelly
Damm she probably felt really bad after that. Hopefully she's okay because body odor can be an insecurity . It's one of the most worst insecurities a person can have . Please be kind to her . I've been through it and it really isn't fun at all . Sometimes I wish I could just Die . It really isn't fun AT ALL . your probably not very close to ur friend anymore sense you're comment was 5 years ago, but if u see anybody who is going through this please talk with them .
@@eunice9867hi any where you are plases if you see this comment please reply how can I get ride of my bad odour that even I take bath you detol put it under my armpit still people run away from me it’s making me die
In addition to my previous comment;
If you really do care then you will take the risk and go to such trouble to speak to someone, if not you will hope they just leave.
I have to confront this issue, I have a classroom full of students that i am trying to help find a job and i do care. I am totally dedicated in setting up the best possible chance for everyone of my students to end up employed.
For my situation my opening comments will be to the whole class. "For me to help you set you up for the best possible chance in finding a job and gaining employment I need to be direct with some of you on an individual level regarding some personal traits that I have observed".
A. Does everyone understand what I am saying?
B. Does anyone need me to be more clear with what I am saying?
C. Does anyone have a problem with what I am saying?
I have a new employee and they smell just musky do I want to have this conversation or do I want to call her over and show her this video?
please ive been telling this girl since year 3. WE IN YEAR 12 NOW.
DAMN. 💀 same with this girl for 2 DAMN YEARS LIKE GIRL?! PEOPLE EVEB TELL HER she never take that advice never it even noticeable she doesn’t take there advice not even my 3 layers mask could prevent the smell.
If you manage people? My assistant manager stinks so much...
Why shower only once a day? Taught me son twice and he never smells. Love the tips though. Preparing to tell someone who likes me but I just can't date them because they stink.
LOL me too 😂kind of funny but also kind of sad 😞
Showering more than once a day isn’t good for your skin you should only clean your whole body once but the crevices like armpits & privates more than once a day as to not dry out the skin and also not smell
My adult son doesn't take shower's he has b.o. he's sensitive to constructive criticism he just moved back home and stinks up my home and I'm at my wit's end I need some advice on how to approach him with this issue without coming off as unsympathetic . ???
miss 1987 scream it in his face
miss 1987 lol
Tell him to get his stank ass in the shower and not to come out until he's 3 shades lighter and 10 pounds smaller.
I have a friend and I cherish our friendship but she is the type of person that would take great offense no matter how I put it their will be no easy way. She has several cats and I think one of them is peeing in her home. Her home smells just like cat pee. I have never said anything but now she is reeking of it too. I think of her as my sister but don’t know how to discuss this with her. Any ideas?
I told my sister and she went nuts. She did nothing about it. She doesn't see dentists or wash her clothes. Her apt. Is sickening. She's filthy and she's a hairdresser...😣😣😣
My employee works with me in my office. When I call them over to show them something, they smell so bad it makes me sick like I need to throw up. One time it actually made my nose start tingling and put me in a sneezing fit. He weighs about 350 lbs. I imagine it's a washing thing. But I like the guy, he's a good kid and its a very hard subject to broach.
I got back a simple " I ran out of Deodorant " so I offered to buy them one hahaha 🤦🏻♂️😂🤷🏻♂️
the smell is everywhere they go istg
if a family member smells is easy peezy. ' you smell bad' usually does it. its other people where its tough.
*_ok_*
One time I got on the bus. I smelled so musty the driver had to make the passengers get off the bus.
there is a co-worker who smells like ass and onions combined, i think this might help her LOL
real
I tell someone they smell and they think that I am about me and not them .
If they know they stink why do they continue to stick?? I don't get it
I have the same problem we do every thing you think off but it doesn’t stop
I recall working for a major pizza corporation franchisee. Well, this one guy who opened his mouth up thought he was gong ho. He wasn't. So one day he goes up to me while we were doing school lunches and said this to me.
Your pizzas are horrible just wanted to let you know.
I said to him. can I say something to you? Your body odor stinks. You need to do something about it. I am glad I did it. He was talking trash and I didn't appreciate it and I said something to the franchise owner and he laughed it off.
Months later I was let go and filed unemployment. sad that companies are like that.
Your crying over a pizza job bahaha
I want to make a app that’s a friend of Siri and Alexa. The app will be called Brenda Jenkins.
You basically go, Yo Brenda how we smelling today?
Brenda J: DAAAAAAAMMN Y’all need to shower!!! Somebody smells like a stopped up toilet in hell.
I have a new roommate today. He smells too bad😷.
I used to be friends with this girl and she always smelled sooo good, but idk why she was always thinking she smelled bad, like if someone rubbed their nose a little bit she would go crazy thinking it was bc of her, she was always asking if we could smell her perfume. I really don't know if that's like a psychological thing but she really did smell so good everyday but she was convinced she didn't smell nice, I feel bad for her, it didn't matter if we told her she smelled good bc she thought we were lying to her
I have the same shit, that's why I looked this up haha. I see people rub their nose all day so my brain thinks damn I must stink
@@nathankemper8462 you probably don't! I mean when someone or something really stinks it is almost impossible to not make a face you know or even say it out loud like 'what's that smell?' so you probably don't, and I think your friends or your relatives would've told you already. My friend had to go to therapy bc she smelled honestly so good but she was always thinking she smelled bad and like I said, if she ever saw someone rubbing their nose a little she was convinced it was bc of her, you probably should go to therapy too
@@casablancaswife did she still think the same after? Or it fixed it
@@nathankemper8462 she's still in therapy but she's making a huge progress, I'm not friends with her anymore but we still have friends in common and they told me that she is getting over it, she now knows she doesn't smell bad so her anxiety is almost gone
same here, i used to be obsessed with smelling good. at school the halls always smell bad but i got self conscious and think im the cause. whenever i saw people laughing i thought it was because i smell bad. tbh i sprayed so much perfumes the scent was probably too strong and made it worse for myself
dont ask me how i got here.
I MEAN TO SAY I HAD TO TELL, 2 PEOPLE THEY HAD REALLY BAD PERSONAL HYGIENE! THEIR BREATH, UGH MY GOODNESS!! :( :( AND, THAT AWFUL ARMPIT SMELL, OH GOODNESS, JUST DISGUSTING!!! :( :( I DON'T HANG WITH THEM ANYMORE DUE TO BAD SMELLS, HEY AT LEAST I LET THEM KNOW HOW AWFUL, THEY SMELL!! I
Thanks my roommate stink of 🧀
If you shower twice a day and wash your privates everytime you use the bathroom, you will be ok. Also clean clothes.
0:30 just say phones.
Yeah this is real fucking funny. 🙄
Please don't follow this advice. It is way too condescending and if you say this to almost anyone, the way she recommends, it's going to be too embarrassing for them, and they will likely quit their job rather than come back and face you and everyone else, because, at that point, "the secret is out," and their embarrassment will be too strong for many to overcome. Why put people in this situation when there are much better and easier ways to tell some they stink, and they need to use some deodorant? This should be done by a man talking to a man or a woman talking to a woman. "Hey buddy, who's it going? I just read about this study that women have a way better sense of smell than men. Which, is okay I gues but it also gives them a better sense of taste which, of course, might be true but I'm good with a burger and fries anyway. I don't need the truffles or nothing like that. Anyway, just to keep things in house, if you know what I mean, I keep a little extra deodorant in my desk drawer. just in case the man scent, starts to get a little too strong, you know what I mean. So, yeah, that's what I do. You know what, I've got an extra one right here, you can have this one. I haven't used it and I've got the other one in my desk. Cool. Did you see the game Saturday?"
Hey. I don't want to make this a thing, but your lectures have an odor. Sincerely, the third coming of Christ (yea, I know, yall missed the second one.)
I'm going to do you a favor and tell you the truth about iPhone's they are junk, the service cost too much, the phone cost too much. Even if they were free and the service was free I would use android because IPhone's are junk
Just say hey buddy you wanna borrow some deodorant