Why I Quit & What I Learned
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- čas přidán 18. 04. 2023
- As promised, I decided to share the deeper truth about my part in my separation from my fiance and my child's father, @NOSNero
Pray for us. We will continue to do the best for our daughter.
Subscribe to this channel if you'd like to follow the journey.
Check out Matt's content too: @NOSNero
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/ veladyaorganica
/ eyenero
The post I mentioned: / cq-lxsprhnw
Thanks for being here. - Zábava
Veladya, I am a 68 year old, never married/childless woman who's followed your journey for several years. After my mother's passing almost 30 years ago, a cousin of mine and I were talking about our memories of our parents. He told me of a conversations he had with my mother long ago where he asked my small town raised mom how she decided to enter into a marriage with my big city born and bred dad. Outwardly, they didn't seem to have much in common. "You have to have someone you can talk with." was her answer. It was like a light that clicked on in my head. I recalled in my childhood and teen years watching my parents seated at the kitchen table with a pot of coffee, just talking. Unless you were bleeding, my brother and I knew not to interrupt those conversations.😊 My parents cherished those few snatched moments together they prioritized in their heavy schedules. Looking back, I understand that I modeled that in my own life. I've had several relationships, but they all ended when I realized I just couldn't "talk" and be heard (or listen) to that partner. I feel so much saner and healthier because of those decisions. As long as you and Matt work on that ability to listen and be heard, no matter what form your future relationship will be, it will be connected, loving, strong and a blessing to your daughter, your family, friends and the universe.
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing that.
Great advise, thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing! ❤
Thank You 💖What an amazing and true/real kind of Love 🙏
This resignates with me so much!!
“To become a mother from a maiden we must learn to mother the wounded maiden within us.
We have to witness her with love.” 💜
Came here to comment this! Wow what a word!! 🗣️🗣️
Broke me down. Whew
Hit deep and I’m here trying to figure out how do it do that?
Can you explain how the maiden got wounded? Or the concept of the wounded maiden?
Yes, that was a powerful statement for me as well.
This is one of your best videos. When you talked about leaning on your friends to make decisions in a relationship, baby that HIT ME! My man is always telling me that. My friends/coworkers will say, “ Your spoiling him, He’s just a bus driver, he’s this and that…”
I now realize he has: never abused me, he doesn’t have any crazy addictions that I can see right now, he comes home every night, goes to work daily, doesn’t like me to bother him during the game, loves to eat my food and other things…😂I appreciate my “ boring” man🤴🏾👸🏾
It’s not boring, that’s healthy ❤️
Never listen to other women about your relationship. Married women wouldn’t give you advice!
The bar is super low for men if your top reasons are he isn’t on drugs or abusing you. Men never say stuff like that, “Well at least she’s not on drugs or hitting me!” Nope. They’ll tear into her housekeeping, cooking, child rearing, hobbies, habits. It’s okay to have standards just like they do.
@@TahtahmesDiary Totally agree but I guess i meant “ little things matter”.
@@TahtahmesDiary exactly.
" I don't want to be independent, I want help" 🙌🏾 and contrary to broken femme beliefs and patriarchal projections that doesn't have to mean emotional codependency or subservience. There's power in collaboration, trust, and releasing control to empower your partner with your loving support and encouragement. You help them uncover their own strengths and evolve with your maiden wisdom 💛
Your rawness just saved someone’s else family. I’m praying for y’all healing and togetherness. Peace and all love to yall❤
This!
Amen 🙏🏽
Amen ❤
Yes!
Yes!❤
Rooting for your & Matt's reunion. As one of your older subscribers, I saw much of what you're sharing now. The most we can ever hope for in life is to learn from each experience. If you & Matt reunite, that's the cherry on top!
I have been with my husband for 21 years and every time someone ask me for advice I always say keep people out of your relationship including parents, siblings, friends etc. the only thing I recommend trying is therapy/counseling with a licensed professional. I appreciate your transparency it is really going to help someone and you are just blossoming. Growth is not always a easy journey but it is a beautiful one 💜
This is such a beautiful and honest conversation. Thank you for sharing a conversation that will help so may 🙏🏾✨
Exactly , I just watch your recent video too you are also helping others. Well done to you both! Family is everything ( a healthy/healing one)
Veladya, thank you. I am a young mom, 26 with an almost 2 year old. She was also a happy surprise, and becoming a mother has rocked me to the point of breaking open in so many ways. My partnership has felt like it’s been pulled over hot coals and we almost broke until I realized that I was suffering and it WASN’T ALL HIS FAULT. It was mine as well. And I almost pushed him away to the point of losing him (by literally telling him to leave) because I listened to the voices and advice from my other girlfriends who also told me to just leave him and be a strong single mom. But when I was almost faced with that reality I realized instantly that I didn’t want that. I wanted my partner. The father of my child. I was blind to how much he actually did-and to how much he cared and loved me. I felt instantly grounded the moment I broke open and apologized for my part. I felt instantly home when he forgave me-but told me it would take him time to heal. We are healing, but we are together. And I wouldn’t want it any other way. Thank you for sharing this story. We don’t have to do this alone. ♥️ sending so much love to you and yours
That’s amazing to hear and I am so happy that you’re family is staying together. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Please be careful on who you are taking relationship advice from ‼️ a lot of times single or unhappy women will try/keep a lot of other women single‼️‼️ try find a community of healthy marriages/relationships so you will have a lot in common with those people and they can give you healthy advice because they have survived the storm and been there before.
This is happening to my daughter!! She is being told from others how she would be better without her partner. I told her when she takes a step back and looks at all the little things he is helping with that she isn't acknowledging. When she sees her part in the pain. She will get a better picture.
I’m so sad to see that so many women encourage other women to be alone… it’s such a hard path for a mother. I hope we can get back in our hearts and minds the value of partnership and family ❤
I feel like motherhood has a way of forcing first time mothers to take off our rose colored glasses and recognize the harsh truths that we may have previously been blind to. 🌸
It also has a way of highlighting imbalances in the dynamic between the feminine and masculine roles of each parent.
The paternal parent being fully in his masculine role allows a mother to be fully in her feminine role and makes the experience of motherhood a more balanced and pleasant one 💛🌻
But, if a first time mother has to sacrifice her baby bonding time and mental recovery time to take on the responsibility of being a provider, we naturally tend to resent our partners for this sacrifice. I feel like this resentment can cause division 😓
There's nothing wrong with a woman wanting to be led by a man when that man has the maturity and financial capacity to lead 💚
Absolutely agree! Thank you for your wisdom 🙏
Spot on and articulated perfectly!!
Well said!
❤
Very true
As a 22 year old young man watching this brought me to so many tears. I greatly value your perspective and the experiences you shared with us. In a lot of ways I’m speechless.
I’m 7.5 months pregnant and I find myself missing the part of my life I’m leaving behind and coming to terms with the idea that I’ll never be just me again. This pregnancy is already teaching me how my life isn’t just about me anymore and it’s a tough lesson for me
Please don't beat yourself up over your decision to leave. Separating is not the worst thing a person could do in a relationship. That experience has taught you so much. Sometimes we gotta learn things the hard way.
Exactly
I agree. Sometimes it feels like the worst thing, but I do believe healing can occur. Gratitude.
PLEASE CONTINUE MAKING CONTENT LIKE THIS. The world needs this vulnerability. So many unhealthy social constructs have been built around us. They need to be broken down, and this rawness leads to that.
*44 y/o has entered the chat* Veladya, I'm not sure if you know how many black women - youth to maturity - you have helped by sharing your life and by just being you. I have been watching you ever since Van Life, and for a minute, you had me thinking about living in a van, at my BIG AGE, with a husband and child. We make the Van Life jump BUT watching you has taught me how to do a deep dive into ME; how to learn to start to shed the programming from childhood and society, how to be both strong and lean into softness. I have been married twice, divorced once. There have been SO many times I felt like I should leave my current marriage because "I can do better" or whatever reason I (or family and friends) have helped me come up with. My marriage did not heal until I stopped pointing fingers at HIM and dealt with ME. I also had to realize that I am not this saint walking around with NO issues or anything to work on. (That was a hard pill to swallow) My husband and I just started therapy and I feel, for the first time in a long time, not only do we love each other but that we are IN LOVE. We are taking the time to learn each other all over again. OR should I say, learn who we both have become while we have been together. I say all that to say this, I also have hope and faith that your family will be together again. What I have learned also is that, you can manifest ANYTHING but you cannot tell the Universe how to bring the manifestation into reality. Things might have to fully break apart before it makes sense. Love all of you!
Very inspirational.
Beautifully said! 🙌🏾💃🏾
I took a break from your channel after the separation, it just felt like idk a block or something. The content felt forced. I'm happy that you're healing and I'm rooting for your family! Thank you for keeping us in the loop even without all the details 🤍
Couldn't agree more 😊
Baby this was a WORD! You ministered today and I thank you for this. I feel any women are coming to these realizations and experiencing a season of growth. It is scary and painful but necessary. Thank you for allowing this message to flow through you. Every word was felt. I pray Continued healing for your family ❤
So beautifully said 🙏
I loved this. I’m 27 and 36 weeks pregnant and am going through this “weird” phase of transitioning from maiden to mother while also at times questioning my relationship. I do complain to my family and friends too often despite elders telling me not too, but feeling alone or invalidated if I don’t. So this video was helpful,
Sometimes you click on a video on a whim and it ends up being exactly what you need to hear. Thank you so much for your honesty, vulnerability and sharing it with us all.
I have my own motto: if you haven't been in a relationship over 30 years, You can't give me relationship advice. After I got married in 2010 I started associating with associating with women thirty plus years older than me. The advice they provided me was priceless. Most women in our age groups are going through similar circumstances as our own. I value the wisdom from my elders.
I’m curious what advice have they given you?
Also curious
You are a wise woman in admitting this. I have been married for 26 years and counting and my husband and I actually love each other and like each other most of the time. We have 3 adult children and I still can't believe what we have accomplished together. My mother told me when I was a young lady to make sure I find a solid and sound-good older female friend. I truly took that to heart and found wisdom and support in those relationships. I also have great relationships with younger women, as I feel that you all offer me important perspectives also. At the end of the day, be humble and know that there is strength and support in healthy sisterhoods. At 53, I find that community is so important to long term mental health and happiness.
As to the video, when she spoke about the wisdom of your 30s, I thought... oh honey wait until you hit your 40's and 50's. There is a deeper level of self as we get older. Especially after your kids are older. Make space for yourself no matter what your age, and get a good therapist, good partner and good community. I love yall and don't forget you are not alone.
Not going to lie, I’m 22with my 1 year old with my boyfriend who is an amazing father. All of my hardcore feminist friends told me to not have a child or even jump into a committed relationship. The thing is that I WANT a family. I want all the trials and tribulations, as well as the beautiful things that come with marriage and children. Being separated from my baby’s father is so detrimental not only to me, but to our son. He was so amazing during my pregnancy, and was 10x better as a father. I love my boyfriend so much and yes, as being a unit, you two are supposed to work through things. Not an extra person involved. God bless you and your family
then don't let anyone separate you. I am grateful lthat you know these things at such a young age. Live your life the way that you want because its your life
I relate to some of what you said, I'm thankfully married to the father of my children and didn't listened to the voices. We have a 4 year old and 1 year old twins ❤️
I am 21 happily married to my husband who is 22. He is a great provider (I’m a sahm), and a wonderful father to our son.
Please Please Please be careful on who you are taking relationship advice from ‼️ a lot of times single or unhappy / bitter women will try/keep a lot of other women single‼️‼️ try and find a community of healthy marriages/relationships so you will have a lot in common with those people and they can give you healthy advice because they have survived the storm and been there before.
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matthew 19:6
Having a family/family unit is beautiful and plays a big part into our society on raising healthy little ones to go out into society. Keep The Most High in the middle of y’all’s relationship and you can get through anything ❤️❤️❤️🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
@@diaryofavirtuouswoman 20 is too young to marry anyone
@@cecegiles7286
Who are you to say? , especially since no one asked you. Do you not know that there are people who are doing better in there 20’s handling their business/owning homes /married & taking care of their families, husband providing, graduated with degrees, etc , then some adults 40+..
Move around lady and stop projecting/setting stipulations onto others.✌🏽
Like I said some women will try keeping other women single with them or in your case of “advice” have them miss out on a good man, because they should wait forever if they desire to get married ..
as if women don’t age/ childbearing years get riskier after 20’s etc ..😵💫
If you have someone good you, better hold onto them because it’s becoming rare out here‼️
There will come a time in The U.S 🇺🇸where women are fighting over a man to protect them (because most will be taken/married by then) from the crazy 💩 that’s going to happen in this country….
I'm 28 years young and I realized I was the problem in my current relationship of 7 years. I just had the breakthrough last month. I've been through abuse(verbal, mental, physical, even substance starting in highschool) majority of my life and I've been sitting in victim-hood for a longggggggg time. I had to really sit with myself, read more self-love and healing books, heal my childhood trauma and take accountability. Blessings to you on your journey Vel and your family. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing !
Can you share some of the books u read?
i feel you on this. I too had to be accountable and heal (healing.... its a work in progress) my traumas. Im 30 now and it was also around your age I had the revelation i need to fix ME! All the best on you self growth journey!
@@elleg.5956 1. I Wish I Knew This Earlier, lessons on Love - Toni Tone
2. After The Rain- Alexandra Elle
3.The Goddess Path - Patricia Monagham
4. Please- Black Girl Bliss
5.Bamboozled by jesus- Yvonne Orji
Girl you have me crying over here! I can really resonate with how you’re feeling. My husband and I separated back in 2021 and I moved across the country to be closer to family. Things were always good with us but he and my daughter bumped heads a lot and it all came to a head. We knew right away that a divorce wasn’t what we wanted so visited back and forth and have recently decided to reintegrate our lives this Summer and learned so much living apart. I really hope you and Matt reunite, I could feel how much you want it, much luck to you you guys ❤
'Keep your business to yourselves' is really a word! I am having a lot of issues with my family respecting my soon to be husband and my choice to marry him simply because I told one close relative about issues we were having during a dark time in our relationship, I thought I could trust her but she told her family members about it and it spread to everyone and now that is all they can focus on even though it was 3 years ago and we have both grown so much since then. I definitely learned my lesson with that.
Marry that man and clamp down correspondence of biz with fam like you're planning to do and you got this. Watch how the Lord blesses you when you do or did this. Godspeed!
Wooooo! A word!!! Keep your business to yourself!! I learned this recently after falling out with an old friend. As soon as we fell out, she was subliminally making statuses about my relationship and what i had shared with her which wasn't cool. It hurt but it was a reality check to keep me and my partner's business amongst OURSELVES no matter how good or bad it gets. I'm 26 and we've been dating for 5 years and im just happy that i learned to stop seeking outside validation on my relationship before it got too late. Also to add, alot of the "Advice" I was receiving was from single friends who weren't even in relationships so I had to stop and reflect on that as well. Not saying that single people can't give advice but sad to say sometimes misery loves company and i just needed to reflect on my own thoughts to know what EYE wanted for myself without anyone else's influence
It's okay aha. Single people really can't give you relationship advice. Just like childless people can't tell you how to parent.
@@artsyterra8350 very true lol
@@artsyterra8350 I don't know; sometimes those people see it from an outside perspective that we haven't seen ourselves.
^ THIS. I took advice from someone I LOVE who is single and it was the worst decision of my life. Advice from a married woman was spot on and in alignment with my heart's desires.
@@artsyterra8350 single people can give advice because they may have relationships, marriages and something happens and made them single. So they do have experiences just like anyone else. Sometimes it’s you not the people you talk to.
Whew girl, this has brought tears to my eyes...I hope me and my husband can get back to this. It really hurts to know we're in such a hateful place. I wish we just find peace.
The seek a marriage counselor
if family/friends advice is too
negative or harsh.
Most advice is used as a helpful
guideline to mold into your lifestyle.
There are You Tube videos about.
Self-Regulation
Effective Communication
Childhood Trauma and Relationships
Love Languages
Effective Coping Mechanisms
Setting Boundaries.
MOTHERHOOD by EJSPEAKS
Trying not to overstep boundaries
hope you can use this information.
Thank you for this. MOST of us women run to external sources for answers out of not trusting our own intuition. Hearing you makes me want to do a better job of keeping my relationship conflicts in-house and trusting my partner and I to fix our issues and not my fear. Thank you for your bravery ❤
I had a very similar epiphany recently. My parents controlled so many of my decisions during childhood in the name of protection and guidance and although it shaped me into a wonderful human being I realized how indecisive I became as an adult. I always look to people to help me make decisions because I couldn’t when I was younger. My indecisiveness took a toll on my relationship and I’ve had to really look deep within to heal. Thank you for sharing! I’ve been praying for your family!
Veladya, I thank you for your vulnerability, and I wrap you in the bosom of Sisterhood. You deserve our love and compassion as you journey your beginning. Continue to be well, Mother.🤗🥰💜💚💛
I honestly really don't know how to articulate how thankful I am for you Veladya. I'm a 27 year old grieving mother of three. One still birth and two unexplained miscarriages. For the past two years I have been in that cloud that you mentioned of. That stealth like depression that almost seems other worldly... it's frightening. And during those soul destroying days, I almost threw away my marriage with my husband because I felt like he wasn't supporting me enough. Like, I kid you not, I was so out of it that I truly thought that, him not being there for me every millisecond was a sign that he didn't care. But I wasn't acknowledging the fact that he is a grieving father and he's dealing with the loses completely different. Postpartum depression while grieving loss...I honestly don't know how I found the strength to live. I understand that's very scary to say but it's that emptying and oh so lonely. But hearing your truth made me want to not just silently watch you bare your soul here. I seriously want to say that I'm really proud of you for sharing your heart with us and that we all want your family to be whole again, in due time ❤.
P.S. I am in therapy for anyone who was wondering! I am doing a whole lot better than a year ago! 👍🏾
❤
Wishing you well on this journey. Child loss is never easy. ❤
❤❤❤❤
Thank you ladies! ❤️❤️❤️ It's not easy at all.
Blessings to you mama as you continue your journey. My heart is with you
Thank you cause I needed this because listening to everyone’s negativity spoils your own relationship because things that weren’t a problem becomes a problem because other people not accepting it.
That was also one of my biggest mistakes and regrets turning to my friends throughout my last relationship. It’s much better to turn to a trusted medical professional because I cannot explain the level of resentment this builds and the damage cannot be undone. I can’t even look at these people the same anymore let alone trust them with sharing any of my experiences moving forward.
Thank you for your openness. I'm 39yrs old and I understand this process all so well. You are doing a great job. Leave room for error and keep growing 🌻 my fellow sagittarius ♐ you are on your way
“Leave room for error.” That part right there. That’s powerful.
You are SPEAKING. As a 28yr old I truly appreciate your honesty and vulnerability!! Praying for you and your family ❤
A friend recommended this video to me. After watching I can see why. Thank you for your transparency. I felt all those feelings when I had my first baby. Now that I am pregnant again I feel like I'm having to work through them again. I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that I will have a very active toddler and a newborn. I'm happily married to a very good man who completely provides financially but it gets tough with not having that village of women on the same wavelength. Thanks again, wishing you and your family all the best! I hope you and your child's father can find a healthy reconciliation.
For some reason as a single, childless 28 year old, I feel connected to this message. I hope it helps me on my journey.
This in itself has the power to manifest it :)
Thank you for this video. I am not a mother, but a woman of 43. I was confronted with having to partly raise my partner's child during the last 9 years. Although I have all the love in the world for the child, I spent these years mourning my youth, wanting to be that young girl again who lives without responsibility, without care. I have been refusing to mature, I have been refusing to see the change that my body and my mind are trying to show me. I have been behaving in ways that are bad for my mental and physical health. I hold on to the maiden so badly. I know I'm still in that state right now, but hearing you talking about it has planted a seed in my mind that will grow. Hopefully, I will grow with it and evolve. Thank you ❤
Brava little lady 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 if I had 1/4 of the self awareness that you do when I was your age, I could have avoided a lot of toxic situations. I know my path was meant for me but coming into such strong awareness at such a young age really is a huge blessing. I’ve followed you for a very long time and your journey always inspires me to keep examining self… Even at 52, I feel like I learn something new about myself everyday😅😅
Keep pushing mama…. I pray that all of it returns to you. Much love💕💕💕
Thanks for being sooooo open. Glad the two of you are re-united. Shalom Shalom.
What a beautiful video and the fact that your daughter is thriving is such a great display of your motherhood journey. Growth is not easy but you are wearing it well. Thank you for being vulnerable with us❤
I'm 41 in an extended "maidenhood". I've always wanted babies. It's a struggle to except I am where I'm supposed to be. Your video helped me.
i dont know how to accept that fact. i am spiraling, far from God or anything sacred. it seems neverending. id rather leave this earth.
I do really get this. Praying God will settle you and remove disappointment and discouragement. Praying He will give you His perspective and joy.
Many hugs to you for evolving!! We all need to self-evaluate. It’s imperative. I seen the postpartum when you had your daughter so I was hoping you would get to a place of acknowledgment. Your eyes spoke. Awesome for realizing. Trusting people with our children these days is a hard no. Hell, can’t even trust half of the bloodline. Raising children is not easy at all! I’m so glad my girls and I are supportive to each others. Never negative talk when we spoke to each other about relationships or anything.I’m so happy that you have awakened and became a union with yourself. Shadow work is deep. Many don’t have the strength to do it. Thanks for sharing
Whew girl. This is such a beautiful recollection of growth, change, and realization. Just beautiful. Thank you for sharing this 💓
I’m a Sagittarius, so I can feel what you are going through. We like our freedom, we like to live, and just go with the flow of things. Not knowing the decisions that we make most of the time comes with consequences. We fight with ourselves more then we fight with others. We can fix everything around us, but can’t fix ourselves. We play the leader roll because we have been disappointed in so many ways. We want to walk in or feminine Ways, and be soft and gentle. But by nature, we are fire. We are the ones to keep everything warm, we are the ones to keep the flame burning, we are the light in a dark place, we are the ones that will burn anyone that harms our family. We are the strong hold. But we have to find balance because if we don’t we will destroy ourselves. There is hope, you can be all that you imagine that you are. We must balance, example: to much water is not good, but not enough water is not good. Find the balance with in the water to keep you healthy, but not drown yourself. Your hubby is a earth sign, just think of it as he is the earth so what would you do to take care of the earth, and what do the earth do to take care of you. Separation is not forever. You got this!!! Sometimes God separate us because, we fell off our mission, and forgot our purpose, God just gives us a friendly reminder sometimes….
Needed this , I’m a saggitarius too and been battling with the outcomes of my decisions in relationships. Both platonic and romantic .
So raw, well spoken, and beautiful. So proud of you! I pray for your family often!! Sending you guys so much love
Thank you for this. I’m 31 and a mother of a 1 year old. I felt sooo much of what you said. Praying for you and your family ✨🙏🏽❤️
This was so beautiful! Thank you so much for being open and honest. Hyper independence is toxic and it’s natural to want help and a partnership. That’s unity and we can’t get anywhere without it! Thank you sis!❤❤❤
This was extremely healing to watch and I thank you for your openness and vulnerability on this platform. Sending you and your family generations of love and happiness.
I'm not yet on my motherhood journey, but this talk still resonated so deeply with me! The self sabotage simply due to not properly healing ourselves is so painful, but as you said, it's not about what should or shouldn't happen, it's just about what is. Praying for continued healing on your journey and healing towards your family unit. Thank you so much for your vulnerability 💗
This was so raw and so gorgeous. As I grow into my adulthood there are so many lessons I am coming to understand. We need your wisdom. Thank you.
my goodness I am a newlywed turning 29 this year and I can’t thank you enough for sharing your journey so openly. I can see that you are healing and I’m so happy for you and your family’s growth 🥹 truly wishing you the best 🦋
This was everything. Thank you for sharing your heart so vulnerably. Sending you all love, light and prayers. ❤❤❤
That was absolutely beautiful. I truly appreciate your transparency and vulnerability. So many people can relate to some, if not all of what you shared. I don’t have many regrets in life, but one of them is not fighting harder to keep my family together. Thankfully, I did have a wonderful village to help raise my daughter to the magnificent young woman she is today. Over the years, my ex-husband and I have become the really good friends that we started as. That is a blessing, because I know it doesn’t work out that way for most people. I pray that your family heals and will enjoy a lifetime of happiness together. 💖
I cried watching this video like it was me mourning what was and still can be in my own relationship! Everything you spoke of from being a FTM and mourning who you were before becoming a mom and that sense of longing to want to run back to it because it was safe. Being a new mom and having this new big responsibility is scary and there’s a lot of learning and unlearning we have to do in order to raise a child in what you perceive to be s healthy loving environment. You said a lot of what we feel and I commend you for being so vulnerable and open with your life and showing us taking accountability, appreciation, and remorse of the actions taken with finding yourself! I believe in your journey and growth process! ❤👏🏽🥰
I am nearly forty and had the similar experience with my husband the last year. We have been living separate due to his military obligation and I have been in Augusta raising our son alone while trying to complete my college degree. I was ready to leave because I learned I was capable alone but that is not what my heart wants. I pointed the finger a lot b/c I was learning a lot from my psych classes. I had to realize my dark night of the soul. I am thankful I did. I commend you on your growth, honesty, and transparency. I have been of fan of you and your family since the van days. The love you and Matt share is real, raw, and loyal. May yall's love continue to grow and nourish each other. Great work V!!!
Thank you so much for being open to share this vulnerable experience in your life. As someone who’s entering motherhood in a couple of months with my partner I really appreciate learning from your experience, it’s sobering me to prepare myself to birth the new woman that I’m going to be alongside my child. ❤ Thank you fr🙏🏽
You have made a HUGE step in your growing journey. Be proud of that.
You have helped more people than you will ever know with this video.
Thank you for your transparency 🙏🏾
Veladya, I started to follow you a few months ago and coming across this video today has touched me. I have been going through deep darkness the past couple of months. Even if it's for a few moments, I felt something lift within me. I honor your transparency, your words, your life experiences, your self-being. Thank you!
Girl, I feel you so much. I could have written this myself except we became parents at 20, separated at 23. Now being 36, 2 more kids later, we’ve been back together for over a decade, you will get through this. Look at all you have learned, I hope you will continue to be a guiding light and truth teller about motherhood, Saturn Return, owning your stuff and how important it is to let our feminine energy be a roll in our female bodies. I loved how you touched on the culture today and how you expressed that it’s okay not to lead all the time, this is what younger women need to hear today. Thank you for being vulnerable, this is the first time I’ve ever seen you, first video I’ve watched but I love hearing the transformation into motherhood/womanhood out of maidenhood, I can’t wait to see where you go in life. 💜
*deep breath * I’m sobbing, this was touching , flowers need the darkness to grow as well as the light . Sending lots of love ❤️
Girl, your clarity is epic. We are all growing through you. May you remain fully and joyfully in the now and in so doing may you manifest hope!! ❤
Thank you for sharing this with us. So much of your story was also mine when I had my child and then turned 30. This feels like a love letter to yourself and your family and I hope your heart's deepest desires are fulfilled.
OMG! Thank you so much for sharing. A lot of us are going through similar situations. You give me hope and strength to believe in what’s for me is for me. All love ❤️
Whew! This was a loaded conversation. Many of us have not been led correctly into that transition from maiden to motherhood. It's mind-blowing that we have remained in survival mode throughout this process. Healing is better late than never. Thank you for sharing!❤
Accidentally stumbled upon this. You just spoke my life. I needed to see/hear this. Thank you for sharing. ❤❤❤
OH-EM-GEE! This video popped up on my feed (I’ve never seen your channel before) and when I say you are SPEAKING MY LIFE RIGHT NOW! I mean everything from the separation from a partner (literally just happened) to not learning to trust your instincts due to a military father (both parents were in and I just had a breakthrough realization about them)… Such aligned synchronicities! 🤯🤩
Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing this part of your life. There was definitely a reason i saw this today. I’m praying for you and your family. 💕
I’ve never heard someone describe the past year of my life so perfectly. It’s crazy bc I could see the unhappiness in you in just a few glimpses of your posts that I didn’t even take in deeply. I thank you for sharing. I didn’t know this would help so much. Just the accuracy of what I’m feeling and where I’ve been in this phase of motherhood resonated with my soul. When I speak to people it’s as if they don’t know what I’m talking about. Either they haven’t experienced it or they didn’t realize they lived in it even after their children grew 😭 I don’t want to throw this life and family I’ve created away or become numb to it….this has helped me start healing and see that as a possibility instead of “waiting for my children to get big” the mourning of maidenhood….just hearing that phrase come out of someone’s else’s mouth has healed a little part. I really appreciated this video…it took me a week to get to it but this was for me.
Okay I’m crying 😢 I’m 34 and you literally just taught me so so much in this video about myself. I never even realized it. Things such as my trust for myself. I always dulled my instincts but like you said, it was how I was groomed to be. Now I am here unlearning. So thank you. You’re amazing! Thank you for sharing because you’re not alone.
Thank you for this! I pray you and Matt reconcile. I have always prayed that since the break up. I went through a nasty divorce right before you all separated and I knew my relationship would never reconcile (domestic abuse) but I always hoped you all would. I am happy to see so much growth it is very inspiring. I send you so much love💜💜💜.
Thank you for sharing.
When you announced y’all’s separation I was confused and surprised. You could feel the love through the screen and saw there was great grounding for your relationship. There were some other online healers around that time also separating from their partners. The father’s of their children and I wondered if that was an influence. One postpartum is such a weight to push and process through, and the mourning of our childless selves. That it can turn many beautiful things ugly in our eyes. I knew you would come around. Your a force and so is he and for sure your daughter is well better off when y’all are together. Beautiful introspection and I hope whatever harm that has been done can be mended. When things get tough you have to lean on each other and let the love carry you through. So many blessings for your family and for the transformational power of healing.
You are absolutely not alone. Thanks for sharing. I love this and I pray you get your family back soon 💖🙏💖
I'm so proud of you. truly understanding what really happened in your life, and is willing to do better. I love you guys!!!
I can’t tell you how much I relate to this!! Been separated from my 12 year relationship/5year marriage since December. My Saturn return has been amazing. Very challenging but learning about myself soo much and like you said, “I’m not as good of a person as I thought”. Praying for your family. You all are going to be just fine
Your vulnerabilities that you choose to share with the world will help so many and break many generational curses. You touched on so many valid points, especially having a village raising children. This literally gave me goosebumps and tears in my eyes. As a wife and mom working full time while trying to build a business, it is absolutely exhausting. Is it worth yes, but it doesn't do anyone good if we are burnt out and don't ask for help. It is something I am learning. I pray that within divine timing I will be able to attend one of your retreats, I so desperately need it. I sincerely feel like my inner child needs somewhere to scream that is sacred and I won't be judged. I have been connected with you here on CZcams for sometime now and through IG and I am forever grateful to the Gods for your love, light, sincerity, knowledge, wisdom, truth, beauty, and aura. I send nothing but positive vibrations and prayers of continued healing for you and your family.
Thanks for your vulnerability! This post brought out so many truths in my own life. We need to normalize mental health in Black & Hispanic households. I had my first child almost 15 years ago & suffered severely from PPD. All the women in my life would just say “we didn’t have all of that” (morning sickness, weakness, aches, depression etc) when we were having kids. I was so alone!!! It was 4/5 months before I began leaving the house again outside of pediatrician visits. I suffered, alone!
Don’t do that ladies. If you need help get it!!! Talk to your pediatrician if no one else is listening.
I’m hoping you 2 can make it work & come back together.❤❤❤
I started following this page when I started my own Spiritual Awakening back in 2019. I truly admire the love you've found within yourself. As well as the growth you continue to inspire. You show me that reflection is necessary for true inner growth. Thank u so much. I wish u all an abundantly full journey together 💜💜🤟🏾
As a father who has watched you and Matt's relationship evolve and who's on the receiving end of this, I 1st want to say THANK YOU for your TRANSPARENCY. It's unfortunate that women being this level of vulnerable doesn't happen as often as it will just yet, bit still It's greatly appreciated. Through your testimony, I and I'm sure many other men received the apology we never got from the women in our lives. I feel like we are healing together as a result of this catalyst. I pray for you and Matt to be reunited. The 2 of you are one of my favorite couples and gave a lot of us hope in the midst of our storms. And still, even while you're in the midst of yours, you still administer the remedy. That's takes growth and real integrity. Thank you for sharing and wishing the best for your family
There is such a peaceful resonance in your voice and I can sense your shift into a deeper consciousness & well being as if you’ve broken up fallow ground, pulled up some roots and levelled to a more solid foundation on which to rebuild your relationship. Such a new lightness in your spirit I’m proud of you finally being able to sit in the reality of how untreated ppd affects the brain, and for your choosing the pathway of healing. I’ve watched the previous vid too, we as a compassionate audience deeply appreciate your psychological nakedness with us, ur unique style of service to humanity is truly transformational All the very best to you Velayda, Matt, Aura 🤗❤️🦋
Thank you for opening up to us ❤ this type of healing is what we all need. I am happy that you have shared your story so we can all start to do the same in our own lives. Peace and love ❤️ 🦋
I rewatched a dozen times. Truly speaking to my spirit this was so needed. I will be married 25 years this June and have gone through so many similar things. We are at a balance right now and I'm so grateful; but this today; helped me so damn much! Thanks you for your transparency, your truth, and being so candid.
Your clarity and vulnerability is going to free so many people and heal so many relationships. I've thought about leaving my husband for similar reasons. I thought I could feel better without him and that he was the cause of my suffering. We would go back and forth feeling this way and blaming each other. Two years of therapy helped us to see how we each were blaming the deep wombs of our childhood on the other person. I am sending you, Mat and baby girl so much good energy. I believe you will be honored for your purity of heart. We often don't know in what form the fulfillment of our needs and desires will come but honey, I believe you are seen and heard. Praying...
Well done young Queen!!! I’m 35 years in and couldn’t agree with you more prayers for restoration in your home and family
Thank you for sharing 🤗 Truly appreciated this transparency. I received something from this. May you continue to release, heal, and excel.
I feel like so much is coming to light in these days. So much reflection and clarity. It’s all so humbling. I felt a lot like this with one of my partners from 3 years ago and have come to terms with the truth that I was also very much a part of the problem. I reached out today to my ex-partner with accountability and intentions of peace and closure - it went a lot better than I could have imagined. Also, learned a lot from perspective on maidenhood and motherhood. Thank you for sharing. Sending lots of love. ❤
Velayda, thank you for being vulnerable. That took courage. I just wanted to share that we have been experiencing life moments at this same time and that what made me relate to you even more during your YT journey. I too experienced mourning of maidenhood. I also treated motherhood like another responsibility instead of the tsunami of change that crashed into me. I wasnt expecting to go through this inevitable evolution. It was lonely identifying what this was (PPD) and much worse I almost took myself and family down with me. By some miracle o was able to overcome and now I’m working on healing (spiritual and therapy)everything I can so I won’t pass any generational traumas. Most of all I am now in a state of gratitude with my husband. I couldn’t have done it without him. I’d say keep going, you’re doing great. I’m sure you feel it. This growing relationship of trust with yourself is hard to put into words but I’” hope you can understand. I’m sure Matt will see your heart, growth and intentions. It really makes you stronger and if it’s not reciprocated ;your honesty still stands. Much love -Rosie
Absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing this
I'm turning 27 & needed to find this. Blessings to your family, I have hope as well
Just found you and I'm honestly glad I get to join your journey here at this beautifully vulnerable point! You have a powerful voice, insight and message and it was so moving to hear. I'm sure anyone can take some light from you and your message no matter where they are on their journey. I know I did. So much love to you, your growth and your family 💜
This is the most beautiful testimony I have ever heard.. May everything align to bring you and Matt back together again. I am a hopeless romantic, but I also know that the most important lesson we have to learn before our journey ends...is to learn forgiveness...for ourselves, our friends, and especially those we love. 💜
Wow queen this was truly beautiful! It is such an honor to see a woman return back to the truest innocence of her being. The innocence behind all of the decisions that you made. The forgiveness of self that returns us to our most innocent state. ❤ Thank you for allowing the world to witness you!!!
I really feel this. My maiden to motherhood started at 26, I definetly had a mother wound I've had to work on. I was on my own cut off living in the middle of nowhere with my son and I also had postpartum depression, it definitely affected how I viewed the relationship. I also had this issue of asking from external sources constantly and the universe kept biting me in the ass until I learnt to keep it to myself, it changes everything. It's really a tricky when you feel the loss for letting the family and relationship go but see how much emotional progress you've made by having the space that you wouldn't have. You are so so brave for sharing this so openly. I send you prayers.
From someone who has followed you from the beginning, I have never seen you so raw and real and I am feeling it from here, only can send good vibes and believe that you two are meant to be.. I have been with my husband for almost 30 years and went thru something similar but eventually made our way back to each other now we are enjoying our first grandbaby and it is amazing
You are correct in saying that perhaps this needed to happen in order for you to be able to heal those parts of you that you may not have known that needed healing. It's evident that the two of you have a deep love for each other. Praying for your reconciliation. Things may not be as they were before but things will be even better. Love and Light 💜💙🩵💚💛🧡❤️💫♾️
I’m so glad you talked about your personal growth on your own. People leave that out a lot it’s very important.
I hope you have the life you desire and that is best for you and your family.
Blessings.
I deeply appreciate your maturity and self-accountability! We're all growing and learning but having your life on display to a certain extent must make it vulnerable for you and Matt. Thank you
I’ve watched your videos since you and Matt were doing Van life. I could see the love between the two of you and didn’t understand why you broke up it hurt to see it. I’m so happy to see you evolve the last few years and I hope to see your special love for each other again
This hit deep. You spoke to my soul sister. It's like you know me. Peace and Love.
I have been praying for more understanding within myself. I am doing so much shadow work and still felt that something was missing. You just helped me make the connection. I am extending profound gratitude. Thank you!
Crying all throughout. You’re such a wonderful being, thank you for sharing. PPD really is necessary to be talked about, bc it all matters. Life happening while it’s creeping up causes for a lot of shaking up.
I receive all of this. Thank you It will help someone. Me.
You and Matt had a special prayer that you shared I started it will my son and to this day we still recite it
Gratitude for the time we had, courage for the days to come , love in our hearts for all beings…..infinite abundance🙏🏽 I’m missing a word but know that you guys touched us.
Damn this made me cry……….this was so beautiful and so transparent. I am glad you did the work to heal. I pray Mat begins to heal.