Don't Know What You Want? Answer This Question
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 5. 08. 2024
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One of the most common questions I get is, "How do I figure out what I truly want?" You DO know what you want. You've just convinced yourself that you can't have it, or you're too old, yada yada yada... We, as humans, try to convince ourselves that we don't know what we want to make us feel comfortable with not doing it! Well, there is someone out there right now living the life you want to live. If they can have it, YOU can have it. I believe in you, and so should you.
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Website: www.MelRobbins.com
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I am 73. I have never, ever, really known what I want. I have just assumed I wanted the things I had in my childhood. But my childhood was shitty. Severe emotional neglect. A very dysfunctional family. Not abusive. Just no emotional connection. No emotional caring. And I understand that a symptom of being from a dysfunctional family is not knowing what you want.
So, have you find it ?
I'm 20 and I think I have a similar problem
18 y/o and I understand you
If you have no idea what you like, first try to write 20 things you like most of your life. if you have more you can write more. then circle most like 3. and then out of that 3 start or work on #1 the most you like. keep the paper safe so once you achieve #1 you can decide you want to proceed further on list or need to edit.
This could have possibly been written by me. Except I'm still at 46.
WHO IS THIS WOMAN AND WHY AM I JUST NOW FINDING HER? total BOSS
See her TED talk video.
I hope you read her book - The 5 Second Rule :)
RVA FOX right... and she's cute :)
RVA FOX I know, right!!!!
RVA FOX imagine how I feel... #muchneeded
I find it quite saddening that even though I'm priveleged enough to do whatever I want, the first thought that came to mind when Mel asked the question was "to be loved". I want to be accepted, validated and be told that I'm enough. I'm struggling to make a decision on what I should do with my life, granted that I'm only 20, most tell me I don't have to know yet. But to be frank, I'm the type that has to be sure to be able to make a decision. I feel like I'm just sitting and waiting for my life to begin. Maybe I should work on how I feel first before finding out what I want in life :/
25 here and i can relate.... people still tell me you got plenty of time and 20s is figuring life out. Part of that is true of course but without guidance it's very tough. talk to good people for advice maybe a career counselor or any kind of counselor. I would suggest for you to be with a helpful and trusting community. Good friends are important, who you surround yourself with, imo very underrated. ever since i started following good self-help pages and people i genuinely look up to, started slowly feeling better. although i have anxiety and OCD and some other issues which have beat me down a lot but I have acquired lots of knowledge and am better able to navigate these problems. you might have anxiety. or just insecurities. honestly, this feeling of wanting to be validated and loved, i've had this for so long as well. you know when you have this feeling it's a signal telling you that you need to love yourself, accept, validate, and make sure you know you are good enough. no matter how many people in the world tell you these things or give you compliments, if you don't have this confidence built into you, they will just be external words. so we have to look within ourselves. we are the only ones with ourselves 24/7. as much as i'd like to think there is, there is no magic pill. and things won't suddenly flip 180 degrees either. there's this book called atomic habits i really want to read you should also read it but it's about making small changes over a long period of time which will eventually make big results. consistency is more important than anything, and it helps in almost every area including self discipline and self confidence. Also this youtube channel called thewizardliz she is really amazing and helpful.
I absolutely understand what you are saying.. everybody tells me i have time. But I am not the person to party every weekend.. what should i do then. Waste it with Netflix. I just need some growing.
You need to pay attention ro where your imagination goes when you aren't conscious of it. It's the thing that is like a safety net or special place or action that you always or keep imagining doing , for me it's playing on stage in front of thousands of people , I never realised I'd even imagine small snippets without my actual self noticing, some people may be in an office job but keep getting these flickers of jumping out of a plane with a parachute while stirring their coffee in th3 kitchen and don't even realise they are imagining it , it's rhe thing you can't stop thinking about or always go to , it can be a thing within a thing , for example a single mother with 4 kids has to organise them for school homework lunches , soccer games etc and she has systems in place and the natural abiltity to manage everyone efficiently and coherently yet durinf the day she feels like she doesnt know what shes good or at or have anything to offer , yet from a different perspective you can see she excels at management and directing multiple people in a compl3x environment (the list of things where this skill is very valuable is endless)
once you identify this thing that you do or think about naturally you will then have more sight of what to pursue, otherwise just let fate choose for you roll th3 dice or pick from a hat and go for it because you will definitely find your purpose through whatever you choose because you are important and have blessings. Or you could just get hold of me and we can have a proper talk noompsie_real is my insta handle xx
God bless u !sure will help u! đ
Some of us donât get to figure it out till later in life. And thatâs ok. You also seem to yave the age privilege so if was in your shoes I would do this: a list with the thinks that bring you joy- even if thst is washing dishes. Then a list with things that made you happy in your childhood. A list with what you mostly search on the internet/ you tube and a lost of the jobs you have admired in others. Cross check what areas overlap- your answer is hidden somewhere
All in all, I just want to be happy and satisfied with where I currently am in life.
Don't we all? :)
That's the comfort zone .
@@bijenderkumar1155 no its not. Look into Buddhism. Being content and at peace doesnt mean you dont have goals or a varied life, it means you dont cling to them and put your worth onto them
I hope you are and will be happy and satisfied đ
I think what you mean is being thankful for what you have while you are still hungry to see more of the beautiful scenes of this world. Being satisfied sounds like to stop seeking growth and what does not grow does not live..
I want to travel. live in a van. wake up on the beach every day. learn how to surf. eat fresh fruit daily. save sea turtles in Indonesia. climb a mountain. photograph wildlife and nature.
Deanna Schroeder that's beautiful
Deanna Schroeder Watch Kombi Life's CZcams channel. They are real life van dwellers that travel the world
That's awesome :D!!
Saverio Quartini "Just" do it. Research. Do steps.
Coolworks and other websites for seasonal work. Nothing but rats and bums running away from warrants and getting high in cabins but you get paid to be in forests and around mountains and national parks. You'd love it. This is my personal hell but check it out. Sidenote: stay away from ski resorts. OSHA's not a thing in those cult villages.
I love your no-nonsense attitude. And your yard is beautiful!
I came from a dysfunctional family, i really envy my friends who have whole loving family and it's killing me inside
God bless u !sure will help u! đ
I have attempted to meditate many times in my life and prior to this CD the only success I've experienced is with live guided meditation. czcams.com/users/postUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq This is the first CD I've used that cuts through my unmedicated ADHD and enables me to truly relax and experience a quiet and energizing interval. The instructors voice is very soothing and pleasant to listen to. I am easily able to sit successfully through the entire CD, and for quite some time after. I cannot adequately express how tremendously helpful this CD has been on my spiritual journey!! Two thumbs up and 10 stars!
Instead of believing I needed more money, I started whittling down my expenses. I live on very little, but now I do whatever I want. It is liberating. No Fear. Just, what can I do next. Funny how that works.
If you dont have more money how in the f*** are you going to be able to buy a porsche?
Chaitanya Reddy maybe he/she doesn't care about buying a porsche?
@@chaitanyareddy6014 dud, its not about buyng a porshe.. its about understending that the porche and other things are i nfact making you slave of youself
Ok, so you stopped spending on things you didn't really want.
Find this comment insipring. One can travel the world with very little money as long as they know how to spend it. Will think more about this
But what if you want too many things? My entire life i've been hopping from one thing to another, hobbies, jobs, university courses. I'm always going for it 200% and after a few months I lose interest and quit (often because there's something else on my path). I'm full of potential, whenever I start something new, I always learn very quickly in the beginning but when I'm reasonably good at it, I quit.
When I start something I always think that's the thing I truly want, but after a while my interests just fade away. I'd love to have some tips about how to stay focused and how to cope with diminishing interest. It feels like I am always chasing (or need to chase) the next thrill.
Jean-Jacques de Balzac We share the same brand of brain. Iâm still seeking a solution at 46yrs old. I feel like Iâm never going to know how to get it right. Probably too paralysed with depression now to care anymore anyway. Iâm so sick of this cycle of insanity.
Jean-Jacques de Balzac Also, what used to be months, became weeks, then days, now itâs hours. And the âthingsâ are becoming rarer, fewer. Whyyyyyy.
Leanne Bandte I am in the exact same boat. The worst part is that time doesn't wait while your interests fade. Things seem really awful.
MsCygnusX1 :( Uh huh xo
hey you know in the end life is just a dream what every you do or accomplish in life will not go with you when you die, so just try to find fun in what you are doing this is what makes you unique but if you want to stick to something then you have to attach yourself to something in life like attach your self with family, friends, kids, or money but each attachment will cost you something do consider about it too. !! Best of luck god bless :)
I know I don't want to be broke. The main problem in life is being beholden to other people who have control over you because you need money to survive.
Totally agree
I agree.
I was in this position in 2011-12. I was married to an alcoholic and I had two small kids. People literally would get mad at me for not just walking away. But like you said I had to have money to survive. I opened a bank account without him knowing and I got a storage unit without him knowing. It took me 13 months to slowly get our things out of the house and who save enough money in that bank account that I could drive away at 5:00 in the morning without him knowing. He went so berserk that he ended up in jail for a year. But I was safe in another state. You can get away from people that are controlling you. It's not easy but it is so worth it.
By the way, if you are in this position, don't count on a protective order or restraining order. I applied for one and the first thing they did is sent a letter to him to tell him to stay away. That was the worst thing I could have done. That's when I knew I had to do this on my own.
I needed to hear this today. I saved this to a playlist 2 years ago when i was in the midst of a breakdown and severe burnout. Found it today and just wanted to say she is SO RIGHT. I hated being a designer - I felt like it made me lose my creative drive and I didn't know what to do or which direction to point myself in next. I had no clue what I wanted. Now I'm saving up to put myself through drama school. Which I should have done when I was 16 but talked myself into believing i should have a sensible/reliable career. I'm now 34 and fully realise life is too damn short to be sensible and no career these days is reliable, so fuck it. Go for the dream. If it doesn't work out at least I can't say I didn't TRY.
I truly wish that you succeed :]
God bless u !sure will help u! đ
I still don't know what I want
Shinaz Bakar at least you know that you don't know.
Shinaz Bakar me too
At least you aren't alone in this... hope you figure it out!
Thanks. I'm currently reading her book.
Shinaz Bakar how's it? Is it worth buying or it's just like other people motivational and theoretical thing stuff?
I really don't know what I want... I don't know if it's because I'm still young but I get really frustrated because it's seems like everyone around me knows what they want and I don't.
Mariana same. I Kinde lost interest in everything I do and donât have a idea what I want. I was just wondering if you found something?
I just graduated college with a Bachelor of science in psychology and I have no idea what to do with my life đ€·đ»ââïž
I turn 21 in less than a month and Iâm stressing out bc all I want to do is paint and draw but I also want to make money and buy a house for my parents
Mariana I hope you do now
ali bahi Iâm stressing over money bc I want to contribute, but money is not everything. Itâs quite a scary thought to think about how you could have all the money and know all the right people and still not be happy with your life. Iâm really not here for the money because I know the experiences are what I will look back on when I die.
Also a little update, not that anyone cares, but I turned 21 already, I have no job, Iâve been in a hole in which I keep going around in circles not knowing what to do with my life thinking I have no idea what to do or what Iâm passionate about anymore. However, last night I thought about something that Iâm hoping will lead me somewhere because anything is better than nothing at this point and I want to do something so that I can stop feeling so useless. So if all goes well Iâll leave an update in a couple of months, for whom it may concern haha. Hope youâre all doing great.
BUT REALLY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT...... I JUST LOST MY PASSION IN EVERYTHING. IT'S THE MOST PAINFUL THING ANYONE CAN EVERY HAVE OR FEEL.
You're not alone đą I'm with you bro...
Mel, you just changed my life! I think I finally found what I want to do the most with my life! I asked myself "What would you want to do the most if money wasn't a problem, if you didn't give a shit about your bills?" Well, it was easy to answer. I would love to travel the world and help people while doing so! This is my wildest desire. I did a quick research on what I can do to make an income while traveling and it just caught my attention!! Oh my Gosh I'm so happy
What if what you really want is just to lie outside on the deck in the sun with your dog all day and watch birds and that would make you perfectly happy....or just ride your bike...or meditate or go hiking. ..what if you don't have some big goal....but all the day to day stuff everyone has to do is what is stopping your simple life of happiness....
You sound more introverted; stay single/no kids, buy only what you need-which is very little, take on a flexible job of teaching meditation/yoga or retreats--someplace where the weather is ideal 365 days. Take on no loans/debt at all (van life), simplify & save all the $$ you can--invest it well so you can maintain this lifestyle for lifeâ„
Then find a way to support this lifestyle
I don't need to tell you this...but take a break here and there to make your dog happy and keep him company in the sunshine! Bits and pieces.
Yeah my dream job is to win the lottery
OMG - I so get you!!!
this didnt help me at all. i have TOO MANY interests and i cant pick just one thing. why does everyone want to simplify there life into doing or being just one thing? i often change my mind about what i want to do. cannot for the life of me figure it out b/c i like too many different things.
electrabot me too!
If what you want is many things, then find a way to do 2 or 3 at the same time, and go do something else when you're bored with it. You're lucky to have so many ideas to chose from. Life's short but there's enough time to do it all. Think of Forrest Gump :p
electrabot you have not truly tried to put what you want to do in order. If you are honest with yourself, you only have 1 brain and 2 hands so you can't do 15 things at once but prioritize the 15 things that you want to do. what is the thing that you want to do the most, which of your desires do you have the least interest in accomplishing. what do you want to be great at and what do you just want to have the experience of doing. How are any of your desires related. Head in that direction... we can all go northeast or northwest but no one can head east and head west at the same time.
you just said what you should be doing.
Jason Jackson đ great response
Mel I donât know if youâll ever read this comment but I just want you to know that lately youâve been my rock⊠Iâm 30 and have been battling with depression for a few years now. Your words, insights, tips and your beautiful manners and way to deliver a speech has hit many spots within myself. I get a sense of relief and hope that I can get through this storm right after watching your videos. I love your outlook and positive mindset. Itâs hard for me as I feel adrift most of the time yet youâre capable to shake me up and help me snap out of these irrational states of mind. Thank you
God bless u !sure will help u! đ
Iâve heard this method before and it doesnât work for me. I still donât know what I would want to do if money wasnât an issue.
Photographer! Following several. Working on getting a camera. created a youtube channel. taking the steps!
So so true. Seasons change and we all know deep down what we really want, we just bullshit ourselves into depression and anxiety. Trust me. I'm a master at it đ
Robert Santangelo me too..I've been to college and postgrad multiple times and I still think I don't know what I want. am I just an idiot?
If you're an idiot, so there are more than 7 billion idiots on this planet, including me. Based on my experience, you don't have to know what you want first, but instead just do what you like to do from the inside. Don't think how much money you want to make, what places you wanna live, etc. Just do what you like, what you love! If you love meditation, do it! If you love reading books, do it! If you love playing football, do it! Don't think too much, just do it without second thought. And then you'll get so much inspiration from those things. And when that inspiration comes, act on it! Don't think, just do! And just be it!
Robert Santangelo Harbouring ambitions of being some kind of social democrat DaVinci with pervasive executive function difficulties associated with anxiety, intense,sensitivity and emotional instability, dyspraxia, Aspergers, something undiagnosed like that or from mental health and being aware this may have just been personality traits, dark triad traits, borderline, bipolar, narcissistic, psychopathy, and I don't want to be any of that. Just kind of cool and useful and wide ranging. Modestly self sufficient and my family better then fine and cup running over. I don't want to pick one thing. And that's not where my heart lies. It doesn't seem easy though.
My first thought was simple warehouse volunteer for refugees in Europe, Brexit visa issues now maybe, something where hands are useful but I don't want to have a White Saviour gap yea attitude, and I don't want to fail through overwhelm and anxiety. I also don't think I want that to be the only thing I do. And I haven't done it so far, when I could have, like getting involved in special needs teaching and moving practice forward and my oldest child is in first year of secondary and we have transitions to come. And self sufficiency and politics and social entrepreneurship and community building and inventing, more about online sharing of idea so far in and indeas, growing soft fruit and garlic, a few potatoes and hedge garlic in my yards so far,and went to the library watching CZcams videos on it, so I have been starting inline with that advice. Only been involved in a small way in local resource collection, for refugees, as well as reading articles,fb,groups,watching videos. But enough to help without making a mess!? I don't even get my finger out and volunteer at festivals I.would like to volunteer at. Nor local organizations which I know about. Better than average knowledge. I'm a slow burn. I have always written, and I did modest things with that the last year or two, but having a bit of a crisis of interest and self confidence with that. Not published yet, not sure I want to be. But I went conservation volunteering for the first time in over a decade recently. I liked it. Though the conflict in my head related to all management decisions wen it seems socially sensitive or like an upstart to say, like having a feeding table and not cleaning it, arrgh. I find that is mentally crushing and terrible, somehow so hard to navigate. I have done poetry gigs and gone to a group regularly.
also interested in singing and songwriting, modest level, gaming and nonfiction writing, console and tabletop game development... all so much...in a bit of a period of change and development, my husband's severance money won't last forever, certainly not sleeping, anxious, depressed and scared but things in the past have lead to major escalation of mental health and gone awry in other ways too. So. all very high stakes and looking towards next steps and transformation. Seem. Out of reach. AND coming out of depression while fearing and knowing that we risk a worse dose of it, and all, whatever we do. Got some ideas. Need to shore up my life, diversify incomes and roles and support anyway. Husband wants to do CZcams urban exploration videos and similar nerdy travelogues. Also brought a green screen. I don't know about furniture making, arts and crafts take all round, and helping others do that in their life. He can do that. Busking. Street performance. And English lessons or tutoring. Some kind of information sharing website linking geography, ecology, civil engineering and administration, science, social skills and lifeskills lessons and political, religious and ideological, arts, cultural and history information. Too many ideas and problems and potential solutions and identities. On one map. Just like me.
also interested in singing and songwriting, modest level, gaming and nonfiction writing, console and tabletop game development... all so much...in a bit of a period of change and development, my husband's severance money won't last forever, certainly not sleeping, anxious, depressed and scared but things in the past have lead to major escalation of mental health and gone awry in other ways too. So. all very high stakes and looking towards next steps and transformation. Seem. Out of reach. AND coming out of depression while fearing and knowing that we risk a worse dose of it, and all, whatever we do. Got some ideas. Need to shore up my life, diversify incomes and roles and support anyway. Husband wants to do CZcams urban exploration videos and similar nerdy travelogues. Also brought a green screen. I don't know about furniture making, arts and crafts take all round, and helping others do that in their life. He can do that. Busking. Street performance. And English lessons or tutoring. Some kind of information sharing website linking geography, ecology, civil engineering and administration, science, social skills and lifeskills lessons and political, religious and ideological, arts, cultural and history information. Too many ideas and problems and potential solutions and identities. On one map. Just like me.
Mel you have a true calling for sharing your knowledge. I am absolutely astonished. You have helpped me convert fear into excitement. I can't believe it's that simple. This took me right back to certain memories where fear was instilled in me. Just yesterday I had to have a very difficult conversation and I walked away thinking the worst of everything and your 5 second rule has taken me out of my head and into the moment. I managed to remember it 3 times today ... I'm excited feeling so much more enthusiastic.
Loving this woman's transparency and practicalities. So enjoying these chats. Go Mel Robbins.
Just realized that this is exactly the life I want to live. Thank you for making me see that now! Have a nice day!
I love how honest, candid and direct you are! Thank you, Mel!!
God bless u !sure will help u! đ
Love your Message Mel. I have been following you for a while now and your messages and videos have improve my state of mind.
I have watched many other videos in the past and they just say what to do. No one says âhowâ to do it.
You on the other hand give us tips on âhow toâ do it, which is so great because it it feels like itâs easy to achieve if taken action. Lots of love to you Mel! â€ïžâ€ïž
This video is just so timely, it comes to me when I needed it most , thank you so much . I just want to hear more of you Mel, from time to time. so inspiring and motivating.
I want to be a gardener.
Damia Nova I want to be an anthropologist, but I basically want to do of the world a better place to live in. But I am not a native English speaker and my dreams of studying in Canada are getting distorted as I do not think I want to live my life in another language. What should I do?
Damia Nova i agree!
me too
Damia Nova be the greatest gardener of all time!!!
research Microgreens...and growing them for profit. :) CZcams it
Thank you, thank you, thank you. A month ago, I was really feeling like I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and lacked motivation to do anything. Iâve been feeling much better the past two weeks, and this video is 100% accurate as to why I was feeling that way, and if I ever feel that way again, now I know exactly why.
God bless u !sure will help u! đ
Thanks for keeping it real Mel! I know what I want, but frickin stupid voices keep telling me I don't deserve it. You see I have struggled with fear, depression, and self-doubt for practically my whole life. I do know what I want, I am using your 5 sec. rule and it is helping me...they are baby steps, but I'm getting closer every day. Thanks so much for sharing your good and bad experiences, and for being a real person and for caring so much! You rock, and I listen to you every day, and I just freaking love you!! â€âđ€
I like how you are clear and precise- laser focused on guiding people in their choices and direction of their life.
You are doing exactly what I want to do. I thank you for being a woman of my generation and helping pave the way. So much success is being had at such a young age now that if we arenât where we wanted to be by 50 itâs easy to feel like a failure. I really want to encourage women to keep going ... keep chasing dreams ... donât settle!!
I love your candor! Feeling inspired by your videos! Thank You!
Thank you for being honest and saying it like it really is! I know I have some feelings of not being good enough, and I think I needed this kick in the pants to get motivated.
Love how she cuts the crap! This is something I needed to hear, thank you
i learnt guitar, computer hacking, 3D redering, digital painting, ... and still dont know what i really want :) may be i just need to go out and have some fresh air
ShouTen K you could become a game designer or something.
You figured it out ??
I really want to know, did you figure it out?
You stole my words
Broke my heart when she said photographer as the first thing. Thatâs what I want đą
im tearing up on this video. i felt ur honesty and really needed to hear what u said, I cant talk about what I want with anyone I know. fr thank u so so much for this video I hope u the best.
Mel you are such a big help! I always get stuck because i depend on other people's opinions.But the way you woke me up right now makes me so happy.I already know what I want but I am afraid of what would happen if I didn't play it safe.I gues having one life to live I want to do what I find most fun! I want to be a comic artist and share my fantastical stories with the world!But i convinced myself I'll have to wait untill i finish college or something...The truth is I'm afraid that I'm no good.Yet I never tried to complete a comic and post it.And ofcourse I'm not gonna be great at first!I have to stop bullshitting and realize I have to do It before I judge it!Thank you đ
I want everything, I want to do everything, I want to see everything, life is too short
This rings true. Iâd love to be a writer but I tell myself Iâm too old, it takes too long to get good, there are already too many wannabe writers fighting for too few paid writing jobs, only the top 12% of writers earn a full time living from writing, I could spend ten years grinding before and after my crap office job only to reach the standard of someone whoâs just left college and is twenty years younger than me. These are legitimate concerns and I know I should just get started anyway. Why donât I? Because Iâm bone idle and canât overcome procrastination. And because Iâm scared of failure. Itâs why most people donât start. And then we Google âwhat should I do with my life?â as though someoneâs going to give you a golden answer only to be told you have to choose something and work really hard. Which is the answer we somehow already knew weâd hear. And then we say âitâs not that easy!â Which is kind of the point. Guess we have to choose to suffer working extremely hard for little return while sacrificing play time, with no guarantees it will pay off at all, or choose the shit, steady, unfulfilling job that allows us to play video games in our pants but will always leave us wondering what if weâd only tried.
Thank you Mel, you were just there when I wanted you the most. and I am sure most of the people have the same to say.
i usually take advice in one the ear and out the other even when my parents are the ones giving it but the only person iâll ever listen to is mel. so much love and respect for her
Iâve been struggling with this for years and I feel like Iâve wasted so much time because of my stupid indecisiveness and constant thoughts of âwill pay the bills in the future?â
This is so me
This brought a lump to my throat. Every word she said, came in like a punch. Brutal truth. I know what I wanna do. I know it in my heart and soul. Limited by the society, I teach myself that it's all not possible.
I always come back to your videos for a nice straight up kick in the A! Thanks Mel.
This is the first time ever that I find something that someone said on CZcams to be really great.
I have no idea how I found this vedio, but I instantly subscribed after it was finished.
I truly believe that this advice can help many people.
Thanks from the bottom of my heart.
Mel, I don't know what I want. I'm smart enough. I'm not afraid of not making a living. Some of us are just cursed with a desire (and blessed with an ability) to do ALL THE THINGS!
Saw this in the comments: www.amazon.com/Refuse-Choose-Interests-Passions-Hobbies/dp/1594866260
Nick Neumann Thanks for that book suggestion!
You're welcome. ^.^
This is me! I have too many interests and wish I could integrate them all.
It's the paradox of infinate ability.... I can be anything therefore I already am everything so what more do I want..? and the answer is a big Nada Nothing why would I..?? I remember fuuqq I got weed to 'moke Skrolllitupp... a doobie appears.. yada yada a pizza or 2 go MIA drinkme a beverage of choice and I'm watching CZcams life is good Life is great The majority of Americans are... Lord have mercy... BRAINWASHED SHEEP!!! THEY HAVE NO OPINION TO CALL THEIR OWNN!!! their opinions are sold to them They do and like what they're told It's disgusting I vomit OUR GOVERNMENY ORCHESTRATED 9/11 They poison our FOOD Give us caner and sell us the cure for Fucks sake This is America The Baleful Not beautiful LOBBYIST... CONGLOMERATES... RACKATEERING CORPORATIONS who don't give asingle FUCKABOUTYOU OWN YOU They own YOUU you and your MONEY they own your time And THEY OWN YOUR LIVES!!!!!==!!!=!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They sell you the same fucking products year in and out DESINGED TO BREAK!!! Look u give your time atyour bullshits bullshitting about all day making a micropenis of a paycheck compared to the ENORMOUS shlong daddydeloch of a profit that the Top 500 companies (Who in reality own everything in the world) Just Google "Bilderberg Group" why bother going on fedbook and sheiit...? For what?? So the techgiants Like Google and Fedbook can sell you data to the government so they can put ALLYOUR INTERNET HISTORY into a simulent world simulator and KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU THAN YOU KNOW ABOUT YOURSEVES....?.?.????? Fuqno not me You are giving them your precious precious Time for Attention and your letting them control your opinions SMOKE SOME WEED ENJOY THE LITTLE THIBGS I'm just happy to be alive Hope the dogies wake uptoo I'll start tomorrow.... .... ............... ....... .. . Y'all prob think I'm crazy but NEGATIVE NEGATIVE .... Just woke Lord knows I'm on my way to help the planet maybe from the couch or maybe from the whitehouse idk I'll let him decide and put me where I need to be MAY YOU LET CHRIST INTO YOUR LIVES AND ACCEPT HIM AS YOUR SAVIOR He will heal all your worries and redeem you souls Know thyself Know the power within Goodness I need a shower Yaboi in the Florida garage too hot up in dis moefukr to be preaching like this rn Can I get amen Lawwwh Whereda green at...? đ Lmao like I'm just confused mann idk my purpose but I don't really ask I'm just taking things day by day looking for reasons to smile and love everyone It's not that hard to be a good person but my oh my poor silly people seemto like to make it be I really hope Jesus saves you be The NWO is coming SMARTCITYS will be our doom Agenda 21 has been executided it's Agenda 2030 now B!TCHESSSSS.. WERE TOTTALYY FUCCCCCKKKKEDD đ·đ·đđđđđđđ„đłđ But fuqitdoeee I got guud cervice on mi nuu Ifone rn yoo so lykkke whaut is the KarDashians dooing rn yooo đđđđđ L M a O Fucking America man S M (MOFUCKINGGG) H ima need a lil deebie n a bluhhnt De Blocc.. Over n out
I am envious of a friend that is self-employed, makes his own hours, earns $500,000+ a year by traveling the USA and speaking to schools and businesses. He is a motivational speaker, and speaks on many topics. He works maybe 2 or 3 months in a year. Has all the time and money to do whatever he wants. I work 60 hours a week in a job I hate, and my family is broke, barely paying the bills. I'm 45 and tired of life being this way. It's past time to make some serious life-changing decisions, but what and how are the questions.
LOVE Mel Robbins. So valuable & good advice. I love how she gets to the point!
WOW one of the BEST pieces don advice Iâve ever heard! Not fluffy advice.. but practical action steps I can take now. Thank you!
But bills do matter, unfortunately. :/ I want to be happy with a job and be able to not have to worry about money
I would meditate in a rainforest as much as possible and then read a book in bed!
Does anyone want to pay me to meditate and read all day?
Easy. You do it and then write a book about it. Eat, Pray, Love style.
Dara Gholston before they piblish, who pay for them? What if it takes longer than they can afford life with what theyâve saved?
someone pls id like to do that but better yet with some good food and dine and wine a little ahahaha . and i dont mind next to the beach
Sure. You do it and offer help and assistance to others who wants to do the same.
Become a monk.
I've watched Mel's stuff before -- even bought her 5 second rule book (of course, have procrastinated about DOing ANYthing with it!). NOW is the time for me, though. Thank you, Mel, for sticking in there with me!
Love you Mel đ thanks for being you and all the insights and reality checks đ€đđ»
what i really want is to not have to work, but i find that bills still need to be paid.
You don't have to work for money - build passive income!
@@bbb_888 if u tell me how then Ill start today
You can start by reading Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki.
@@bbb_888 That is certainly the way, but you do need to build up a solid income base from regular work before having the chance to create passive income. But it is my long-term goal as well, to create as many passive income channels as possible.
I don't think you need a regular job... if you are smart with money, it doesn't take money to make money.
At least, that's what Robert says!
Even with no money involved, I still don't know what I want. Sure, some things do interest me, but not to where I want to do them all day, every day.
Plus, if we are going to be honest with ourselves then we have to take into account that there are things we aren't good at it we can't make a living doing it. This "chase your dreams" or "you can be whatever you want to be" sound awesome but are nothing more then motivational rhetoric. example: I would love to be a singer. I love music and love to sing, however I suck at singing. It is really, really bad. It will not matter how hard I try or how much I practice, I will never sound good enough to mKe a living at singing. Therefore it isn't something I should strive for. It's not enough to be passionate about something. There still has to be talent in order to be successful.
Mark schoch Hey Mark,
Regardless of you liking her videos or not, everyone has the ability to get better at anything. Unless you are physically incapable of singing, with practice and study, you will improve. It's guaranteed. No one becomes #1 by being #1. You have to keep working at it, and slowly over time you will improve. Best of luck.
Mark schoch do you have one or two vocal cords?
Ken Stevens
Hey Ken,
I appreciate the pep talk, sincerely. But I honestly think singing is one of those things you are either born good at or not. Now, obviously if you are already descent you can dramatically improve with hard work and practice. But having a few friends who can sing and one who teaches singing they all say you can't make someone who cannot sing into someone who can carry a note. Sure you can make them better then they were before, but better doesn't equal good. It might be the only skill that is really a talent and not a skill. Maybe that's the correct answer.
I appreciate your comment though. thanks!
Alexander Graf
I feel as though this may be a trick question so I will give a technical answer to try and not fall prey to it. Although you are probably more knowledgeable then I in this area and will still get me. lol.
We don't actually have cords, they are folds. We have two pair, one pair are real or true vocal folds and the other pair are fake or false vocal folds. The length and thickness of the true vocal folds is what gives us our "sound". Men have longer and thicker folds which gives us our deeper sound. Women have shorter and thinner folds which is how they can hit high notes. Children even more so. Its why both my daughters can hit the "dog whistle" note that shatters glass.... or at least daddy's eardrums.
Ok, so how did I do? I'm ready for a verbal beat down (especially if it helps me sing better), so let me have it. Just don't work me over too much. lol. Thanks for your response.
Mark schoch Science has proven this to be wrong. Singing is not some talent youre born with. It really does look like that but its training very hard for a very very long time. If you dont believe me I can give you some articles/books to read on the topic. Its easy to see the end result and say: jeah that has to be talent. But you didnt see the hard work that went into it.
This amazing woman is an incredible inspiration to so many. Thank you Mel!!
Thank you so much, Mel Robbins, for your advice!!! I've learned so much just from listening to u in 2 minutes and 37 seconds!!!!
I don't want to work, I want to be financially independent. How many people have you helped successfully fulfill that dream?
If i dont have to pay the bills.. I just stay at home away from unkind people
that's how i am.
JUST PURELY AWESOME =MEL ( whom i just discovered today !) never too late ! I KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO - HELP OTHERS TO GROW !! ( each day i ll work a little toward that goal) !!! thank u for being so to the freaking point !!!
You are so inspiring!!!!! I love watching your videos. Iâm so glad I saw this this morning! â€ïž
I'll be honest i have no idea what field i want to get into but one thing's for sure. I want to be able to give my parents a good life where they can do anything they want. Does that count?
My biggest problem is I have too many things I want to do and I can never focus on one thing. I'm working on that though. Reading the 5 second rule and your morning routine has inspired me to make changes to my own routine. Maybe tomorrow when I ask myself what do I need to do for me, I'll have a better answer.
Iâm the same way. I spoke to my therapist about this and she said having a lot of interests is actually a great thing. So we have to look at the bright side âșïž
This is me.
I love you Mel! Thanks for this wonderful message... Right on time! â€ïž
Thank you Mel Robbins, for this awesome bit of wisdom! It's right on time.
MY PROBLEM IS I WANT TO DO EVERYTHING. Maybe I should really start on one thing first. Thanks.
Damn true!
Thank you, you're one of the few people that I feel really hones in on practical action for self improvement.
In less than 3 minutes you have really helped me figure out what I have been thinking about for months.
that's great but, I really can't see a way to make a living smoking weed and playing videos games all day!
dave kay You could live stream your gameplay on Twitch & get paid
Exactly, it was my first thought -> "Well it's not really that easy as she says ... since quite a high % of people would come up with something like this. (Instant gratification)
For example, If nobody cared and money was no object I would like to : Be high all the time, Play online video games all day long, Stuff myself with cakes, Lay on the beach ! ... and other nonsense.
Or if I go specific to me, I would go with "I would ride a superbikes on tracks all around the world" ... but hey I'm surely not beating the Doctor since I started riding at 17 and nobody will sponsor me few million dollars to trash bikes on track :D
Reviews on different kinds of weed and ways to smoke it ? Lol you never know could be a hit
That sounds like a bunch of **** - sounds like youâre not daring yourself out into the world to find out what you can contribute and what gives you energy. IMO fulfillment doesnât happen in a basement isolated from life. Even if thatâs all you could do in life....
dave kay
maybe it's not really what you really want but you're just too high to know what u want (speaking from personal experience)
Or maybe it is what you want.
You can be a pro-gamer winning tournament prizes and having sponsors, or an entertaining twitch streamer who's always high, or a game tester/reviewer.
Or you could grow weed and sell it?? Don't blame me if you go to jail though
This is fortune cookie advice. It sounds good coming from a "no nonsense" kinda gal who probably has lived a charmed life. Don't be fooled, life is complex and circumstantial. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't follow your dream! You just may have to live your dream between shifts of a job that you tolerate at best. Do you think that anyone dreams about delivering mail? How about driving a cab? The world would grind to a halt of everybody followed this advice.
joylesstiger agreed
Damn, I hate it but youâre right:(
This is the best reply to a youtube video I've seen in a while.
I don't think the point was that you run off and be 'the thing you want to be' and only that, it's aiming your spare time and resources towards it. Very few people work in one job their whole lives anymore. Work in the job that pays the bills and learn more part-time - borrow books from the library on it, watch videos, do a course. Maybe then pick up casual or part-time work in the area you love, maybe later shift to a full-time career in it.
Maybe realise after a year or so of reading and study that you don't really want what you thought you did, that there's a different direction.
But don't just drift through life wishing it was different and never chasing what you want because it's too big and you don't think you can do it.
I want to deliver the mail.
Thank you @mel robbins for telling me this in less than 3 minutes. God Bless You.
Haha Melâs straight up the best at these things XD Cutting right to the chase, no BS. Love her!
I want to teach but in the UK you have to have a certain grade in maths which I can't get because I can't pass the exam - so I'm realistic knowing that it won't happen for me. Acceptance of your weaknesses is also part of the human condition.
There are lots of ways to teach outside of the classroom. Take a look at Udemy and Coursera and think about what you can teach online. You can also teach ESL, there are lots of opportunities to teach classes of international students on the internet. Donât give up on your teaching dream.
True very true I bullshit myself sometimes đ€
You Mel! I've been a writer, editor, and professor for 20 years. Now, I've got a book almost finished. I'm looking for an agent, and I plan to take my speaking skills on the road. For that, you are a fantastic role model . Thanks for the encouragement :)
Really awesome, learned a lot đ You are an Angel who's always there to help others and improve lives of people!! Sending lots of love from me and my family đ
+Mel Robbins I love your vids and the 5 second rule has always been my mantra ever since I came across it. However, with relation to this video, what if I don't have one particular passion that I want to pursue. I see myself a polymath and I would liek to do manythings including being a pilot, writer, photographer and GIS/Surveyor. I don't really want to choose one also I suffer from analysis paralysis. I am scared of making the wrong choices. Can't I be all?
Christopher Clarke check out a book called Refuse To Choose. You sound like a scanner. if so, that book was written for you!
ohh man! That's me.
Christopher Clarke I have a personality that also wants to do everything!! Literally conquer the world. I had a vision one day to major into English Literature , and I was like what? OMG! That lead me to become the writer I have always been, and now I can write any story and create any character I want to be. I want to do everything and now I can in my writing. Creating stories and incorporating characters who each have a different profession is actually me who wants to be and do everything! Hope this helps.
Christopher Clarke ... id advice 6 months studying this on 7 mile beach of the cayman islands... im sure you will find an answer at some point
I'm the same way. I want to do so many things but I get analysis paralysis really badly. I'm trying to go by the Eisenhower matrix and breaking things into years, one year, 6 months, a month, a week, a day, and right now. When I get overwhelmed I try to step back and say "I am here. I am now." and slow and narrow my thoughts down
I want to take dance classes for the rest of my life. I want to live by the ocean and pick mangos off a tree in my backyard. I want to wake up looking forward to face the day.
That gave me lot of motivation, thank you so much Mel! đđ
So happy I found your page... really not doing well with myself and going to bing watch your channel now đđ»đ
OK but still don't get how the bills r gonna get paid..
well it will take some time days, weeks or years but you will find a way hope is very powerful tool for building a good life or starting a new thing.
Victoria the answer is that sometimes it's not easy, but you can always find a way to monetize what you love.
By you making a product or service out of what you love and having people pay you money for those. Then you take that money and use it to pay your bills. There. Simple.
Hey
3 years later and i still don't know what to do
Thanks for the Video. You answered my question because I also don't know what I really want, but it's totally true. I had a couple goals, but just a lot of people kept telling me that it's too late or not possible etc. so I pretty much gave up on them. But something I also know is that the ones who try to discourage us to reach our goals are the ones who are not happy with their life either so they want you to be as miserable as they are. They think that because they were not able to do it that no one can. This is a lie. Our responsibility is to encourage people to be better and not the opposite.
Thanks again for the video :)
Hello. I have been struggling with this for a long time and I so much want to thank you for this. So much love. â€ïž
The worst part is if you know what you truly deeply want, but you truly canât achieve it anymore. When youâre 30 you canât go back and become letâs say a professional swimmer with hopes for an Olympic gold medal. Thatâs the thing I cannot seem to learn to live with. Cannot let go because I know what it is and know Iâve missed my chance and can never have it
Iâm not Mel, but I understand your comment completely. Iâm now 65-yrs old. My issue is NOT that I did not know what I wanted to become, but rather I made a series of wrong decisions that hindered me from pursuing it in time. Mel said it best: If we are brutally honest with ourselves-we must face what we may have done, intentionally or unintentionally, to hijack or sabotage our given purpose in life. Perhaps some of us can live our dream/purpose vicariously by helping others achieve theirs. Peace, hope and strength.
You need to change your target from Olympic gold medal to the Ironman triathlon champion, there's no any age limits. If You begin today and make efforts you can be champion
She's 100% on the money.BUT if what you want requires good physical health start perusing it NOW! You can lose your health overnight. Or be seriously injured in the blink of an eye. We take our health for granted. When you have your health you have everything.
Eugene Ward,Jr. I can totally attest to that. If you are lucky/smart enough to still have your health you have practically everything you need to follow your dreams and make them a reality. As opposed to being like some of us, bedridden most of the time and just waiting to die with the music still in us. đ
Maybe
Donât know what you want to do? Just ask yourself what do I want to do? Wow so insightful
Iâm pursuing my dreams all right, but Iâm adding a work out routine to have slender, toned arms like yours, Mel! đȘ
Yes, but what about the money? I love Mel and the rule, but we still need housing, clothes and food.
What if I can't pick up just one thing? I want to create 3d models and draw with watercolor. I want to do embroidery, and make dolls. I want to be a youtuber and playing videogames, I want to be enterpreneur and sell glasses, I want to be a graphic designer too and this is the whole another question. I can't pick just one. Even in graphic design where I'm working now, I do logos and poster and landing and illustrations. But I'm not great at any of those. I need to pick one. But how can I pick one if I want to do so much stuff? If you have some advices, please share with me. I'm completely lost in a lot of options. I feel bad when I'm doing only one thing for a long time I need to switch quickly for another
Picking one doesnt mean you have to turn your back to the others. For example, you seem that you like graphic designing so hone your skill and focus on it. It will take months to be great but it will pay off. If it's making you decent income then you can now do the other things as u wont have to worry about bills and such.
What do you want to be master at?
Wow, so many of us with that problem. What I suggest is get better with what is paying the bills and develop other skill as a hobby. Then monetize that skill too and start another. That's what I'm trying, but I can't guarantee.
I love you Mel!! Your straight to the point.
Lady you are like a mother to me . Thank you very much .
what if I don't want anything?
LUCTIANITO you could sell stuff online and live with your parents.
Maybe you are depressed
You have it figured!
What you want is that you don't want anything .Just kiddin, u are lost like me
You get it right now! Congratulations :) !
I canât change who I am đđ I want to be someone else.
Yeh, Mel Robbins is the Bomb!! To respectfully answer your question, When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. That's why you are just now finding her, you were ready to hear her message.
All the Best, Lorene
You're right Mel Robbins. There is soo much available online. I have been attempting to choose one of the many, over the last year, and then I stumbled across the BestDecade ever đ