Don’t You Dare Touch Those Bagels (feat. Rob Riggle) - Key & Peele
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- čas přidán 22. 05. 2019
- The boss has very specific rules about who can and can’t eat the bagels at a work meeting. (Contains strong language.)
About Key & Peele:
Key & Peele showcases the fearless wit of stars Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele as the duo takes on everything from "Gremlins 2" to systemic racism. With an array of sketches as wide-reaching as they are cringingly accurate, the pair has created a bevy of classic characters, including Wendell, the players of the East/West Bowl and President Obama's Anger Translator.
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#KeyAndPeele - Komedie
"You're an alcoholic"
"I'm not sir. I'm not."
*death stare*
Bosses really get mad when they disrespect you as a “joke” and you don’t think it’s funny.
@@lordnerdyguy or him being disrespected by you who is being disrespected because of him being disrespectful towards you.
@Slum Village deez nuts are supporting lyfe on your chin
@@arifhaikal4027' not by the nuts on my chinny- chin-chin."....
Lol that stare was "play along... it's part of your job"
Them drums playing made this more stressful than it needed to be.
That's the art of music
jonathan bailiff Lmao
jonathan bailiff 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
That's not drum it's tabala
It was perfect
"Make sure everyone knows the bagels are for sales associates only." Didn't tell Ron to enforce it, just let em know...
True. Ron should have been more confident and said it once. Then let the janitor get fired or at least Ron can't be blamed/fired for the janitor eating the bagel.
ok boomer
@@AJ-ox8xy ok boomer
AutarkyBear - This is a skit and theres is no other way it could've played it because it was Written that way
TyetheRebel - Are you stupid did you see any hypothetical Words in his comment like "if it were me" or "what i would've done" So take your own advice and keep to yourself idiot.
I have a boss that acts like this, it’s hard for me to separate the humor and the “this could literally happen to me tomorrow” from this sketch. It’s actually so good omg
I’m sorry to hear that your boss tries to steal your bagels. My prayers go out to you.
@Utopes, You've got a cool profile picture.
RUN
You have my everlasting sympathy.
Fuck your boss, dude. No one deserves to be treated like this and walked all over.
The sign says "for sale associates only"
Sign say "for me maybe?"
That should have been the clue.
dead from that :D
For sale?
It's so fucking great.
Yes
ugh the actor playing the boss did such a great job portraying an obnoxious, annoying, corporate guy.
Alfie Bart hes a famous actor he’s in 21-22 jump street and other comedic movies
Alfie Bart I know, it was so realistic. I had to call my therapist😂🤣
The self important kind of guy who thinks he's a big shot for medium class, having a crappy hoa house, and a used corvette. Like peggy hill when she was pretending to be french eating kraft american singles that were sliced into squares.
look its michael scott
2:50 "cells make up our bodies, but selling makes our bodies come alive"🤣🤣
The way the boss says "He's right, Ron" at the end is so ominous, and really paints the whole thing in a new light. I love this skit.
What did the janitor say right before that?
@@mackymacky286 ‘the bagels are only for sales associates’ I had my subtitles on
@@brandes8057 the janitor said it very quietly to Ron and the Presenter still can hear it.
That explain every thing! Lol
@@mackymacky286 He said "bagels ar fo sales assos..."
It was really just a way to fire Ron!
The Janitor is actually the undercover boss.
"Working here, amongst ya's"
Yes, he was hired by the boss to test Rons competence as a potential sales associate.
But my dick got chopped up though.
JOSEF
*shakes jowels* josef!
Stolen comment🙄
“How come it’s not for me, why?”
Complete Satire 😂
Size Six Only “for us maybe?”
Lost so HARD
FOSS mans free and open source software though
Complete Satire indicative of life...
“For me maybe?” 😂😂
@@vivacehome1 maybe
*NO LAMEL YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY GODDAMN BAGELS!*
Hey, Ima janitor. I am hungry. Here's a bagel, so for me maybe.
Painfully realistic .
😂😂😂😂
Ok I’ll just start cold! “Cells make up our bodies, but selling makes our bodies come alive” 😂😂😂
Nice catch lmao
It's "selling makes our bodies come alive"
@@ReidTheRulesGuy that’s what I said
@@thebigcheese5114 thats what you said when my nuts were in your chin
@@thebigcheese5114 NO YOU EDITED IT
- “Fus”
- “Fus what?”
- “For us” 😂😂😂😂
The part nobody quotes enough lolz
This is the best one! The guys playing innocent but basically making trying to make a pact with the guy like “Don’t snitch on me and you can have a bagel too.” Shoulda taken the offer.
That was a great one🤣😭
Fus Ro Dah!
It’s three in the morning and I’m laughing my ass off.
Plot Twist: The Mexican Janitor was actually the CEO on undercover boss and was testing how he'd treat the other employees
Andre' Warner they already did one like that
My dick got chopped up though!
That's the Undercover Boss skecht! hahahaha
a dude put his pee pee in my mama and it got inside me and then they gave me money
@@o.g.1love479
Actually Indian.
*Reads sign*
“For me maybe”😂😂😭
Da hell is that profile pic ? ? ?
@@JMIZZLE22 Last time I checked a corner is where two converging lines meet, creating a right angle.
@@BaldMancTwat ill make my own
@@JMIZZLE22 you know that's a dude right?
@@badhabit714 even better
Peele did so well playing the confused janitor, I was getting frustrated...
Sameee
The delivery at 3:30 was amazing.
what he say
@@proudamerican964 bagels are for sales associates
He says that because Ron was fired and can't have it
@@deadgambler879 ohh then why he still grab bagel
@@proudamerican964 Ron is the outcast here
I like how he didnt know what he was saying he was just mimicking the best he could
This is how it feels when your friend talks to you in class
damn... i think i was this friend way to often, got people in trouble
892 likes, a year old, but only one comment lmao
Yeah. Then the teacher yells at you even though they see you TRYING to pay attention. 😣
Fucking kids man... Get off youtube and go study. I'm sick of highschool kids
@@NicholasSC Why are you so mad at this? lmao he's only commenting. Why don't you get off and go to work?
Somehow, I have to work in "How come it's not for me why?" into my daily conversations.
And don’t forget “For me maybe?”
😂😂
No, you can't. That line is just for sales associates.
Jeremy lmao
Go to a stranger or coworker you don’t know to well while there eating I guess?
"Ron do you wanna come up here and do the presentation and I'll go back there and be a jackass" 🤣
Had me in tears! 😂😂😂
💀💀
So the weakest part of the sketch you found funny? Yikes... Weak brain shit...
@@wendijoe2793 🤨
Wass poppin Kk
You know it's a good skit when you actually wanna throw hands with the boss
The boss is hysterical
“how come it’s not for me why ?” 🤣
BEST LINE
me when i get caught shoplifting
@@antonzigando150 🤣🤣😂😂😂😂
I literally got to that part and your comment at the same time
How come i cant get +1k likes for me why?
LMAO I hate when ppl understand but act like they don't
Delishia Hollingsworth people do it on purpose because that’s the only way some people are able to get what they want. They have to bs their way through life.
Maybe people just don't get what they want all the time it's life
Racist
Delishia Hollingsworth
He’s an actor he has to act it’s part of the skit
We alllll know some . And I'm not talking about senior or seniorita .
The moral of the story is: never trust your boss because he may have hired a rogue janitor to expose your character flaws while also giving him reason to fire you. Thank you key and peele for the life lesson
I often forget it's a skit, and start feeling terrible for Key
“Behgols ar pho seos associet”
Gari Hernandez 💀💀💀😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
i thought you were speaking an actualy language for a minute
Hahahaha
Lmaooo😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I’ve never been so aggravated and amused at the same time
Amazing skit. Rob Riggle is a great actor, he can make you hate him when he needs to 😅
1:23
Key : its for sales associates only
Peele : it's food
That was hard!
So the “janitor” is actually a sales associate
no, the janitor want to take ron's job
anzky
you speak like the janitor
@@bobsmithinson2050 thx
@@MyNameIsSpiderman1 it's not for me why
@@MyNameIsSpiderman1 for me maybe?
The janitor is a good salesman,
He is relentless, does not take no for an answer, knows how to insist and when to insist.
All Ron had to say was the bagels are for $10 each + handling charge :))
Most salesmen suck ass, but there are ALOT of dumb shoppers.
@@ossacatiastril4834 yea that's me .. I'm bad sales person , I'm jus there to give you info on the stuff , I won't try to make you buy things you don't want/need..
@@ossacatiastril4834 yeah I know they talked me into buying this cheap ass phone
Ossaca Tiastril yeah too dumb to know what’s good for them..
Or just let him have a bagel, even though he was instructed not to. There are many people like Ron in real life, that lack common sense and can’t think beyond orders or outside the box; people that can’t achieve a goal, especially in a work environment, if the situation is slightly different to how they learned it.
"for me maybe?" the accents are soooo good 😂😂😂😂
You know when the actors are so good that this skit pissed me off to a mad degree. I feel for Ron.
Ah, corporate America, I don’t miss the bagel politics at all.
lol do people actually have "associates only" snacks?
@@AzeOfSpadez I think you took it from a joke to something personal and are assuming there's a issue, I'm entertained regardless
justshady May rise to the top and get the freshest bagels 🥯
TheTyphoon365 nope, you’re either living in a fairyland world, or you’re just this ignorant lol. If you’ve worked in a corporate environment long enough you’d understand.
@@justshady becauseyou don't eat when everybody else eat don't really mean it's leftovers , it's just a mother stereotypic separation and actually told 8 million stories in one episode,depends what level you on, your financial influence and how you were raised , I guess.
Moral of the story is: play dumb and you will eventually get what you want
True
being smart always gets you in trouble and noboby likes a smart ass 😁
for me maybe ?
HappyDude 💯
Me speak no english free ahhh bagle ?
The meek shall inherit the earth.
This is, in my opinion, the most unique and well executed sketch by K&P. The vibe is powerful, dramatic, unsettling, and still funny.
I agree, it's not even funny imo lol... It's incredibly well written, I feel like this was a real experience someone had...
Pretty accurate representation of a sales meeting lol
grabs hand...
"thalesassosiathasses only"
😂😂😂😂😂💀
Amukelani Ebenezer 💀💀💀
🗿🗿
😂😂😂
Ohhhhhh 😂😂
Lmao! "Cells make up our bodies but selling makes our bodies come alive"
I was listening to him but didnt catch that
Kevin Frazier 2:52
Marketing genius.
@@duhvnlocs Thanks
Kevin Frazier you’re welcome. Watch the video about giving up vagina on my channel to see how you can reclaim your time and energy.
I believe that beside the funny jokes this sketches also conveys the idea of “set up for failure” at major corporate
I love how they can make such a serious episode out of something like bagels😂
“How come is not for me why?”
Because these nuts are on your chin!
The concept of this video made me so mad for some reason. Like this scene was deeper than it seemed.
Basically retail
😡
Humor makes us laugh for two reasons.... because it is humorous, or because it’s a touch uncomfortable.
There’s a lot in this skit that makes us increasingly antsy as we empathize with Ron. His jerk of a boss, getting called out in front of a room of strangers, the dogged persistence of the janitor, Ron getting blamed for the janitor disrupting things... it builds a sense of panic and anger.
I thought it was hilarious but i think some of thier skits do get dark. but I love these guys
@@evilwillhunting NO, we are not doing this again! You go on and take your psychoanalysis with you. Go on now and git!
Whoever did the score for this is a genius.
The fact that he kept trying to paint this man as an alcoholic :,D
If Key & Peele ever make a comeback I'll lose my mind lmfao
They need to make skits about today's issues. We need them.
Yea it was overrated but it lasted as long as it did.
😂😂😂😂😂
Michael Fleming so they sucked?
Toy story 4
"I'm talking about sales. If you look at our ancient history, the first caveman sold a rock to the second caveman"
This sounds like a presentation that Michael Scott would come up with.
How did he do it? I dont know, more importantly how much did he get for it? We will never know the answer to that question.
@schindler91589 nah michael had a a conscience, he was just oblivious to social cues, and had the mind of a 10 yr old
the key & peele version of michael
Sales and currency and finance and fiat and trade were, like all fundamental aspects of civilization, invented in the Middle East, this specifically by the Phoenicians
western europeans be like: we're the descendants of the original orient
2:23 “how come not for me why” lmao
This skit was so stressful when I saw it on TV that I haven't been able to look it up since.
I regret this decision.
😂😂is anyone else listening to the guy speakin in the background? Dude started talking bout tongue twisters and shit
ChikenFartz when?? I didn't hear that at all.
@@Gunry525 should be around 2:11
That's no "guy." That's Rob motherfuckin Riggle.
Bob Sacamano 😂my fault I forgot his name
Stop smoking
"Cells make up our bodies, but selling makes our bodies come alive" 🙃😂🤣🤣
1:16 Tried touching a bagel right after handling garbage, pure evil
Grocery store deli clerk sweeping the floor, does not change gloves: "let me make a sandwich for you now."
This brings me back to childhood. As the older sibling, you think you are doing the right thing to teach your younger sibling, but then you get punished by your parents.
reads the sign: for me maybe!!
420th like hehe. Sorry.
I literally just watch their channel like tv
Yo same
Indeed
I was your 1,000’th like. Bow!
I just found out it is 📺
Same starting from yesterday
“For sales associates only”
Janitor: “for me maybe?”
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The boss trying to remember the tongue twister. 🤣🤣😂
“Handle your bagels”
Truer words have never been spoken!
Freakin hilarious 😂😂😂
you said it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Idk why, but this pissed me off lol
Zay romello me too
Bruhh..i wouldve took my bagels with me..handled!
the presenter is a jackass, Ron should have just give that janitor a bagel
How come it’s not for him why?
@@jonathanmonroe1833 That's actually not even close to what was happening.
3 years later still comeback to watch this 🤣
There are so many great details, like the lady in the purple shirt wiggling her shoulders with obviously fake laughter and that look Rob gives Ron after calling him an alcoholic as if to say “watch it buddy”
"How come it's not for me why?"
Lmfaooo... if my boss denies me anything I'm saying that! 😂😂
I caught that too lmao
I just caught that. 😂😂😂
“For sale? Oh for free? For only me?” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Lmao “handle your bagels!”
Every part of this is hysterical, but the drums make it ten times funnier.
Noboby appreciates that perfect accent at 3:30
Yea the nieghborhood I'm in is filled with a lot of them.
Loool
@@michaelfleming4994 ur just the life of the party everywhere u go arent u
@@TriangleSquare52 lol exactly what I'm saying
@Marv N "bagels is for sales associates" lmao....
My Superior: You're fired sir!
Me: takes the platter of bagels and runs
Youre superior calls you sir?
@@icedwhitechocolatemochafra9851 my name is sir
Bagels are for sales associates only
@@stabgan lol
@Pretty Ahki lol
Seems like the boss was preying on ron and he final fired him. That’s how corporates work.
“The first cave man out there, sold a rock to the second cave man out there” 😂🤣😂
"And we don't even know how much he got, one of the great unanswered questions"🤣😂
(Glad someone else picked up on that)😋
@petiauk7😂😂😂
His momma clearly never taught him the hand slap technique.
LA CHANCLA
That part where Ron said it's for sales associates only, and the janitor's tragically funny reply of "It's food" got me a little bit. I've actually seen that conversation between guests and obviously hungry cleaning staff at a hotel on more than one occasion. There's always truth in good comedy (unfortunately in this case).
I worked at a Ramada and a very nice guest left us a giant pizza upon leaving, so sometimes it works. But yeah this is way too relatable on so many levels.
2:41 You can hear Keegan almost laugh
“How come not for me why?” 😂😂😂😂
Sign: For sales associates only
“For me maybe?”
😂😂😂😂
That was the most stressful K & P sketch I’ve ever seen.
I swear they make it in the middle of conversation every time
Plot twist: The janitor was actually paid to get Ron fired from his job.
Not even a plot twist thats just what seems like happened lol
thats the joke einstein
Isaac Fernandez That one guy who still says "these nuts"
@@Lava91point0 it's a key and peele reference. keep watching the videos guy
@@losgryfog Yes i know, i was stating the title of that sketch lol
The boss probably wouldn't even notice if he let the janitor have one.
Barry wHite Of New York that’s the point lol
true
@@gio-mz3ty there is no point. The joke is the guy was between a rock and a hard place.
When he started smelling them I almost died 😂😂😂😂😂
I've never been so stressed watching Key and Peele, until this...
When your boss and HR can't find a legit reason to fire you, watch out for them bagels peeps it's real out here.
My blood pressure is 350 right now because of this video
Mysteriously Mysterious Mysteries lol
@@longdirtytoenails1076 :)
Its the drumming in the background. Feels like someone is getting voted off the island.
Why
LOL
“ these bagels are for sales associates only ”
“ for sale ? ”
“ no it’s for free ”
“ oh for free ? ”
” no not for you tho ”
“ just for me ? ”
“ 😐”
😭😂😭😂😭😂😭😂😭😂
as he shakes his head no lol
@@Teezythadon shits to funny 🤣🤣
Why does it feel like 1:54 is an adlib and genuine confusion "Foss what?" hahaha
I would have just gave him a damn bagel.
moral of the story
I'd bet that if he did that, the boss guy would tell him he didn't do his job right. There is no winning for him lol
@Log Splittawell nothing is impossible, I think that it he had just told him once and grabbed his hand when he tries to take the bagel, he would understand and if not let him take one and tell the boss that you tried to stop him but he stole it from you. Since the boss has seen it he probably won't fire him.
He would have still gotten fired
@@RJ12347 he would have been fired, but the janitor would at least have a bagel.
“Cells make up our bodies but selling make our bodies come alive”
“NO! YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY BAGELS, YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY CREAM CHEESE, & YOU CAN’T HAVE SMELLS. THAT’S WHAT THE F***IN’ SIGN SAYS”
😂😂😂💀
Can't remember the last time I laughed this hard! 🤣 I don't know...this is so funny to me! 😆😅🤣😂 I needed the laugh...thanks! 😊
The speech going on in the background...
"The first sale was a stone sold by a caveman. How much did he get for it?"
"What was the first tongue twister you ever heard?"
"Cells make up our bodies, but selling makes them shrivel up."
It's "cells make up our body but selling makes us alive."
Like a fucking twilight of strange comedy
I could easily read these in michaels soctts voice
Genius level stream of corporate sales crap.
it’s funny cause cavemen traded since they didn’t have a currency that would be used to buy things
"That's what the FUKIN' sign says!" I loved that breaking point.
"Ron, you are fired!" Lol 😆
Same here. 😂
@@earthwormjxm "of course I am!"🤣🤣🤣
I've seen this sketch ten times and it still makes me die every time
Dude lost his job over battling a crazy janitor probably making wayyy lower than him.
“You’re an alcoholic!”
“I’m not sir I’m not! 😂”
“😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐”
Jesus Christ hahahahahahahahahahahah
Micah is
"Bagels are for sales associates only"
"for me maybe?"
I have to admit, that is one hell of a compelling argument.
"How come is not for me why?" Loooooool
‘The first cave man out there sold a rock to the second cave man out there‘ is so deep
When Ron gets fired and the Janitor whispers out in his weird English “the bagels are for sales associates only” I lost my shit lmao
“Thebagelsareforsalesassociates”
Key: "The sign says for sales associates only."
Peele: "For me maybe."
this show is too good
Rob Riggle was born to play this role lol.
"Don’t touch those bagels” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I would've lost my mind.