Where I've Been
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- čas přidán 22. 08. 2024
- PATREON: / tokidokitraveller This video is a bit personal but I thought that if one of the creators I watched came out with this kind of thing I would appreciate it. So here we are! If you just want some more chill/ happier content feel free to skip this one
Right now I'm just taking it a day at a time, seeing lots of friends, going to therapy, and taking care of myself. I feel like this is a good common kind of thinking that happens to a lot of people in their late 20s? or at least at some point in life. I hope you guys can understand where I'm coming from!
Man reading your comments made me tear up! Thank you for sharing your stories and being so kind ❤️ also I wanted to mention that I do see a therapist and have been going regularly for 3 years! She’s helped me figure a LOT of stuff out and has been great for me. Wishing you guys so much luck on your own journeys ❤️
We in this together, fren.
I wish the absolute best for you as you deserve it! Well done on consistant therapy and never give up
It sucks to be sad and it's so much part of the human journey, at least for some of us. What is hard is trying to put a smiley face on top of a sad one.
Love those long shots you have of traffic going over the bridges, it's such a japanese movie moment, capturing the daily experience of life just living on
So glad you’re feeling much better 🥰
going through the same shit man, thanks for sharing. it's cliche lol but you're inspiring me!!
“What a blessed life... God I’m depressed” MOOOOOOD. Also this pandemic has not helped anyone’s state of mental health. I’m not sure what may help you but what I personally do when I’m in that mood is just ride the wave. Cry if you need to (seriously crying helps to yeet the emotions from your body), take a hot shower, eat comfort food, stretch and take deep breaths, drink lots of water, and take lots of nature walks. I love to watch your channel and you’re always so funny and creative! Hope things are able to start looking up soon :)
Yeet the emotions 😂🏆
That part was so hard to watch for me! I reacted exactly like that when I was in deep, deep depression! I'm glad to see she's doing a bit better!
It's helped me a lot. I Used to have an atrocious mental state. I turned off. Played games which seems the only way I know to get out of my own head and move on from my actions.
It helped me cause I don't like to meet people xD
Videos like these de-stigmatize emotional distress and help people to feel less alone and weird about their own traumas. Takes courage, takes sincerity. Good onya (apologies for possible misuse of slang)
Thank you! It was really hard to press the publish button and I debated it a lot but I’m glad I did!
@@TokidokiTraveller it helped a lot of people that you did:)
@@TokidokiTraveller Thank you for hitting that button. I've not seen much of your channel for a while (damn the YT algorithm) and I appreciate this sort-of catching-up a bit content. The artists I've come to appreciate most are those who are kinda transparent - not faking the "up" mode. Wish I had wise words of advice, but I don't, only a virtual hug for you on your journey of Emma-discovery. Be kind to yourself.
So true!
feeling so-so about it. It helps to see that others feel the same, but the world also looks so much more depressing xD
On a completely different note: your outfits and make-up looks are on fire 🔥
She back! And she going through some stuff. Honestly, identifying cycles before they begin again is the first step of regaining your own power.
How do you even do this, that would be so fantastic if I could
@@GliderZero555 Everyone's process is different. But most importantly I think YOU can do it. 💪
@@GliderZero555 It is not easy. It's painful and it's hard and it's often accompanied with feelings of despair. But you can do it and you can get through it.
Hey I hope you’re feeling better don't worry you’re not alone and even if you’re feeling sad somedays remember that eventually it’ll go better and you'll be happier.
When I think about past things I went through, I can remember it hurting but I don’t feel that exact pain anymore. So I know that one day I can look back at now and feel the same. Every day is a step in the right direction
@@TokidokiTraveller Well that just made me realize some things about myself. Oof.
@@TokidokiTraveller When I think about things that happened a long time ago, I still feel the same pain I felt back then even f I know its something that shouldnt matter anymore.
"god I'm depressed...."
*bursts out laughing*
relatable.
this is what's called madness or the point of start to lose your mind.
Sometimes, all you really can do is laugh at how depressed you feel. When everything around you looks wonderful, but you can't feel it. All you can do is laugh at the irony of it all. It really is relatable.
Hey Emma! I feel you so much, right now I'm in this very stressing point of my life (25 here) in which I feel like i should have more inplace than I do. Also learning to let go of certain persons and focusing on myself has been a very tough process, I will always be glad to watch your videos that you decide to put up for us. Hope you're better!
As a 37yo and know many others that are older and younger, I can say with confidence that there's no real reason to overstress yourself about your direction in life. Spend some time thinking about what it is you want. Do your best to narrow things down as much as possible if you have thoughts going all over the place. Failures in broader perspectives are usually unavoidable, which is something people don't really get until they actually do something, so understand that dwelling on them without a productive outlook isn't going to help anyone. Find the (broad) direction you want to go and just do it. Start small if you want to (get an entry level job) and work from there. Be productive. Try new things if you want to.
Just don't delude yourself into thinking things will happen without you doing anything meaningful to make it happen. I know someone who is nothing but positive, but is far too lazy as a result because of that false positivity that things will just work out without the need to even try. Finds every little excuse to grasp onto his belief that he can just do nothing and then lose hundreds of pounds and find a 6-figure job (has no job currently and no work experience). Thinks eating a few bites of lettuce, while eating nearly 5000 calories of junk food, is huge progress. It's pretty terrible.
@@foomp thank you for this! I am in the process of trying to balance my life out just for the sake of a better future. I'm studying, learning, reading, exercising and making sure I am in touch with my friends and loved ones. After being at my lowest, I think the best I can do is be kind to my current self and work so my future self is proud and can have it easier.
@@yoongified93 " I think the best I can do is be kind to my current self" I agree with this, you are taking the right step, I just wish I was kinder to myself in my 20's and learned to set more boundaries sooner with people in my life. Now I'm in my late 30's and I'm still figuring things out, I've had failures in the past few years in my career ambition (in what I thought was what I wanted) but now I'm free of that and focusing on starting my own business (I'm tired of dealing with bosses). As you get older you will naturally feel more comfortable with yourself because of all the experiences and lessons you have. I wish you luck, and if you are really having a difficult time therapy is a great way to take care of yourself.
You don't even have to work towards or care about anything if you don't want to. It's your life just do whatever you want because it's not as long as you think it is.
Also learning that those breakdowns are a part of growing as a human. It’s freaking messy and hard. As a kid I imagined adulthood would be like leveling up and up, but it’s more like a roller coaster with sometimes really low downs.
I also had a breakdown since you last up loaeded, I was sectioned on a psych ward for 3 weeks. Everyday is a step in the right direction no matter what happens
stay strong brother. Reach out if you ever want to talk
That’s a great mindset to have, you’ve got this ❤️
The whole period of my mid 20s to early 30s was just constant fear of getting left behind, not doing things in the proper order. But...then again you get older and just don't give a shit and do thing on your own timeline.
Thats good to hear, as I'm 29 and feel left behind.
@@thesillyhatday If you don't mind, what exactly is it that you feel left behind in?
Yup 34 and feel like have done so much and yet nothing at the same time ...didn't do any of the traditional things like marriage kids house etc but I have travelled a lot....but sometimes feels like whoops I'm really behind people my age
My mom warned me basically my whole life that turning 25 was going to be a big life stage shift and learning/breakdown space, and low and behold, SHE WAS SO RIGHGT! I had a major shift in life practices, goals, habits, and self understanding between about 25-26 and it was ROUGH. Girl, I completely see you having this transition and I just want you to know that it's tumultuous and dramatic and super hard day-to-day, but you WILL get through it and come out the other end knowing so much more about yourself, your journey, and how you want to live. Good luck as you weather this transitional time and know that the people around you who love you and and stick around through it are the ones who will see you through other transitions later on (hell, I'm 38 and still learning stuff about myself every year!). You are immensely talented and introspective, so just remember to think about what you need to change while also making a point to think about what you are already good at and can strengthen.
That happened to me too.
25-27 was really hard for me too. I had relied on co-dependent behaviors to bring me happiness, and when that wasn't there anymore, I had to create a new way to cope. It's hard, but worth it to change. Change will happen anyway, just make sure it's positive and worth your time. :)
I started this turning point at 25 and I'm 30 and still figuring things out. Will it ever stop, dunno but now I'm in therapy which is good
I turn 26 next week and, man, your mom is right
Damn I’m around that age group and am going through a transitional phase that has been very rough.. respect your elders they know what they are talking about…
Sometimes the hardest expectations to live up to, are our own.
Your red hair is 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥!
Sending big hugs and healing vibes to you! Congrats to you, though, for realizing and breaking the cycle and taking steps to be the best Emma you can be! ❤
WAH THANK YOU I felt that so much in my heart I really appreciate you ❤️
@@TokidokiTraveller I appreciate you too! :) Always be unapologetically you, Emma, and hang in there. You got this!
Well, a positive is your hair looks fabulous.
As someone who has been down that awful depression road a few times, and pulled herself out of it, always look for a positive. Everyday I find one thing that makes me smile, no matter what it is. And, for me, being proactive about things on my find. Fixing what I can, when I can, and learning when to just let things go (easier said than done). But, Padre Pio said it best, "pray, hope, and don't worry."
I’m 53 and still learning about myself. So glad you are living in a world where therapy is now acceptable and you have good support xxx
“What a blessed life… God I’m depressed” is the most relatable sentence ever…. Went through a pretty big depressive period few years ago, it was not fun to work through all my stuff, but I can say that today I’m feeling pretty good most of the time…even with all the virus things happening. So chin up Emma!!! You’ll get through this! It’s gonna be tiring, sometimes really hard, but it’s always worth it!!!
Thank you for sharing this with us, and always be so real on your channel!
3 minutes in and I'm like: 'Hey this has been me for like the past 3 years.' sad, empty, numb, trying to do things that normally make me happy and then realising it doesn't make me happy and then being sad again. (I need a new job lol)
"what a blessed life. ....................... god im depressed." *manic laughter* Yeah, been there girl.
Hang in there. I'll always watch your videos and support you in anyway I can
I’m 30. I’m basically going through this same process. I reckon everyone goes through this at some point, whether they realise it or not. Keep your head up. Hope to see your next video real soon and keen for your next stream! :)
Hi Emma, I'm 29 and I'm having an extremely similar time in my life. Realising that patterns of behaviour are rooted in my traumas, and finding that it's overwhelming, the concept of healing myself into self-love. It's all daunting but it's the journey, isn't it! Sending best wishes and sincerely hope that we both flourish.
Hey Emma, I know you touched on this a bit during your streams, but I'm glad to see you are working through things. I had a trauma point from childhood that I basically crushed deep down for several decades until I had a breakdown myself. I think the most interesting thing during recovery was how emotionally ignorant I was about myself. It's like the basic of basics they were teaching me during therapy and I didn't know any of it. It felt like learning a foreign language and I really wondered why no one had taught me this stuff growing up. Anyway, really happy for you. Working on that stuff sucks, but is definitely worth it, as I'm sure you already know. I'll just join in with the "you're not alone" people who feel the same! Good luck on your journey.
Your comment is so relatable. I literally had to (re-)learn how to feel my feelings. Felt so bizarre to be missing such a basic staple of emotion regulation.
"I want to live in ignorance bliss but that's unhealthy" OH MAN I FELT THAT ONE. You made the right first step in figuring out patterns, now you have to do the grueling work of working them out. I wish you the best and you got this! Also, damn girl, your hair is FIRE.
The pandemic hasn't been kind to anyone but it's been even more trying for people with depression. You're super relatable and you're not alone. Also, you are killing it with the red. Such a fox.
I'm 32, and just went through the biggest life shift over 2020, and I'm now on the other side feeling whole and happy. Every step, every day is important and every ounce of work we do is important. I hope you get to your other side soon too, even if another bump pops up after, I hope you keep getting to your other sides.
Your videos helped me through my rough patch, I'll often go back and re-watch old ones because your voice feels soothing in the background while I'm working. If you have given me this gift, I hope I can give you one back in the form of supporting your work and your journey.
Thank you, so much! No matter what comes, I'll be a supporter of your channel in all the ways I can!
I just want to say... yea. This.
A few points:
1) The hair looks great!
2) Unsolicited anecdote: I went through a similar event that came to a boiling point in 2019. It caused me to make some drastic and sweeping changes. It was terrifying, lonely, and exhausting, but totally worth it in the end. I'm happier now than I've ever been in my life even though I still feel tremors of some past events, but they're getting a lot easier to iron out now.
3) I'm glad you're doing well and look forward to seeing where you go from here (even if it ultimately is the end of your vlogging pressence.)
Genuinely wishing you the best, Emma. Never stop looking forward.
2019 was quite a time to make big life decisions just in time for 2020 😅 right there with ya though
You’ve brought so much joy to others and I hope we random strangers of the internet can return the favor. But whenever you’re ready. No pressure. Big virtual hugs 🤗
And, girl, that red hair is 🔥!!
As someone who is also going through a time and stuff like this, it's nice to know I'm not alone
Definitely not alone! This stuff can be so essential for growth but it’s awful to go through 😭 I hope yours gets better and better!
@@TokidokiTraveller I'm trying my best❤ (p.s. a long time ago in a livestream you said everyone should try and see therapist just to see if they liked it, so I it gave me the confidence to do so, and its helped alot so thanks for that too I guess lol)
For all of us going through stuff right now, it's important to remember that none of us are truly alone. Take care all.
From a fellow Aussie - You're a bloody champion. Hang in their kiddo!
Emma, you're always such a genuine, positive and all-round cool human being. I really appreciate you sharing this side of stuff, especially when it feels so personal - I'd like to think that being comfortable about showing it means you know you got this! I'm sending you all the vibes mate
Also the hair is awesome, and that colour with the eyeshadow is just chef kiss
My rule of thumb is, when someone is going through stuff but won't specify what that stuff is, I always come up with ideas of what they're going through, assume I'm correct, and respond accordingly.
So on that note, I'm so sorry to hear that you adopted a stray gecko, named it Hildebrande, and fashioned a jacket for it out of 10,000-yen bills, only for Hildebrande to escape into the sewers and take roughly 500,000 yen with it (it was a VERY thick jacket!). It's quite unfortunate, too, that you decided to chase Hildebrande into the sewers in vain, only to encounter the nomadic Chikabaka people living beneath your feet, whom you were content to live with briefly until they force-fed you large quantities of dairy. You made your escape in the dead of night, but emerged in Sapporo somehow (the sewer system is a surprisingly convenient shortcut!) and had to hitchhike your way back, with each driver being progressively more implausible than the last, from a circus strongman to an actual baby (wired into an advanced AI).
Worst of all, I'm sorry you forgot to film any of this, and also pledged a vow to the last hitchhiker that you would speak of none of this on camera for perpetuity... in exchange for your 500,000 yen back (turns out Hildebrande was actually her pet, though its real name was Hildevrande... you were SO CLOSE!).
It's quite an incredible story, though. Too bad you aren't able to tell it.
...In all seriousness, whatever happened, I'm glad you were able to find out a bit more about yourself, and I hope you know that we all appreciate you and want the best for you. Few of us know you personally, of course, but we feel like we know you from your outstanding videos, and we definitely appreciate you for being you. Best of luck with the continued self-discovery, and do whatever you gotta do to find your happiness again!
So happy I decided to read this whole thing. Amazing!
You sound like such a wonderful human being, bless you!
This is the best thing I’ve read this week. Motion for this to be the official reason!
Beautiful
hildevrande killed me 😂😂
Being alone means getting confronted with ourselves eventually, which isn't easy but can be a healing experience if we're willing to face our fears, allow grief for past trauma (Yes, your hurt is real!) and turn past anger into healthy boundaries. Also, the whole process is quite fascinating and helpful for further developing personal emotional intelligence.
Just the fact you are sharing this journey means a lot to people dealing with the same stuff. It never gets easy but we get stronger each time we get through it.
I had a break down 2 months ago. Had to grieve the loss and all the messy stages, but I'm slowly reaching acceptance of the changes in my life. I hope your friends are supporting you, and know your internet family cares too! Much love! 🤗
Sounds more like a break through than a break down. Life is just one long journey with your best friend...you. And the red hair looks great on you!
I’m glad you took a break. It’s good for you. Now you’re ✨ g l o w i n g ✨
Your hair looks amazing btw ❤️
I just turned 26 and over the last year I've finally started learning and accepting things about myself that I think I've always, in some part, known but found too depressing to truly acknowledge. It's always easier to pretend you're fine and normal until it eats too much of yourself away. So I think it's really brave of you to not only acknowledge this thing and the cycle you find yourself in, but commit to doing something about it! That's really amazing! I'm wishing you all the happiness and growth in the future.
How awesome that you are being brave to take care of your mental health and dealing with tough issues so that you can heal and come out a healthier version of you. I can't support this journey enough and can totally empathize knowing I went through something very similar in my 30s. I also want to add that you looked absolutely gorgeous being real and vulnerable and every outfit was beautiful and dang that hair color is fire!! It fits you so well and looks like you were born with that color.
What I have always found helpful is to bottle up my emotions and bury them deep inside my soul... so deep that I can pile all sorts of distractions on top. Then I just keep piling on more and more and more until I have forgotten what is truly important to me and I can just continue focusing on the trivial nothings that will ultimately lead to my untimely demise. That is chapter one of my self help guide. Stay tuned for more later!
Chapter 2: Ignore the problem... it will go away.
Chapter 3: What's that old saying... "Denial is the Best Medicine."
Chapter 4: Fixed.
@@tccandler hide the problems with self deprecating humour, don't forget about that
yeaaa thats not healthy at all just speaking from my experience but best of luck.
Those riverside visuals of the trains and cars, with that weird town bell music really capture *that* feeling. All the best to you, Emma. Transitions are fucking hard. On the plus side, guitar oven sounds keen to offer support ;)
This is definitely very relatable and something that I agree a lot of us are going through right now. There's been a lot of time, maybe too much time, to think about ourselves and the past lately, and it's definitely done both bad and good for me. I'm still trying to figure it all out, but it's comforting to know that so many people are going through the same. Sending you the best vibes Emma and everyone else going through it
God I felt this! I’ve been (am still) where you are! Thankyou for sharing this part of your journey, you’re amazing 💙
Thank you for talking about your journey! Wishing you all the best along the way. I'm praying for you!
DAAAMMMN THAT RED HAIR IS 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Emma gurl you are fine 👏👏 you are stunning!
Omg thank you! ❤️
@@TokidokiTraveller you're welcome! I can't wait till you feel better 😊
I don’t really use the word “recovery” because mental health is a roller coaster. It’s about learning what works and building a tool kit. Boundaries are also really important. Take care lovely lady☺️
Oh lord I have never identified more with you than your moment staring around you in comtemplation and saying "what a blessed life.. I'm so depressed!" and bursting into laughter.
Me too hun. Me too hun.
You're awesome and brave and real and just fabulous. Keep taking care of you! We'll be here when you're ready, but you comes first! 🌱🌻
Such a kiwi and Australian thing to make humour out of shitty situations, you’ll get there Emma! Sending love from across the ditch 🇳🇿🇦🇺
I'm just a stranger on the Internet thousands of miles away, but I think you're great. I'm sorry for your troubles.
Hope this msg gets to you. Thank you for sharing. I've been a fan since the video you did with your friend at the Japanese Love Hotels... And since then, I've been a fan. I just wanted to thank you, you may not think it, but your Videos have been therapeutic for me, I have some health issues, and I'm getting them addressed. I have been dealing with severe depression and anxiety as well as having other health issues that have been adding up... It's been hard NOT knowing whats causing panic attacks, and bouts with feeling alone, and almost like your in a body that is NO longer YOUR body. It's like I'm a passenger in my own body, and I've given the negativity the wheel... And Now it's driving us off a cliff ,until it gives me the control again. The point is , stay strong. Stay amazing, Because you are... Your a very unique soul, and because you have these traits, you are , will Always have a leg up on those who don't have the strength, the drive, the heart and soul... To get back on your feet... Your amazing. Thank you for everything you do .. I wish you luck on your journey called life. Keep your head up, keep kicking ass, and I'll be there supporting you and your channel as long as your still doing this.. your friend ... Tim
Hey Emma, firstly thanks for sharing your feelings so candidly. Externalising and/or addressing your issue/s is a great step forward to unravelling pent up anxiety etc. Recognising and being insightful about what triggers your bouts of depression is (ironically) positive. I agree, Life's a journey - a continual rollercoaster of emotions. It can be scary, sometimes lonely, but also truly wonderful. Reaching out to someone you can trust whether it be a friend or a professional is key. Be gentle on yourself x
I like the fact that you are so openly honest about what is going on in your mind, many of us hate to admit it and even refuse to deal with it until it destroys everything.
It is amazing that whatever is going on in your life has not negatively impacted your creativity. Your video was so beautifully shot, framed, narrated and edited that it would have no difficulty being part of an art house exhibition at a gallery.
No matter where you are in your journey your viewers are here for you.
I look forward to your next video as always. Tc.
Take care Emma - your comedic stuff is hilarious and you deserve all the happiness
Thanks for sharing this. I've hit a super weird point in my life myself where I've started to connect dots going backwards to something traumatic that happened to me and figuring out how that correlates to how I act around certain triggers or moods I end up in. It's helpful to know other people go through similar garbage sometimes.
Thanks again for the video and being open about this stuff.
I hope you have a nice week.
:)
I needed this video. Thanks for posting. I’ve been processing some stuff too. The willingness to process is often half the battle. “Keep your stick on the ice.”
Speaking as an Old Person who has been through my fair share of breakdowns over 51 long years, you will get through this part of your journey and come out better on the other side! It’s all part of figuring yourself out and learning to be you. Also, your hair is super cute. 😃 You got this, Emma. 👍
Just a reminder to everybody that, if your feeling off, you should see a professional! When we're at our worst is precisely when we shouldn't be diagnosing what's happening to ourselves! Your future self will thank you!
Yes I didn’t say in the video but I’ve been seeing a therapist regularly for 3 years and have been helped through this whole thing! If people can afford it, seeing a professional is something I would always recommend 👍🏻
Yeah but they cost a kidney too. So I'm taking some mental health courses on udemy. I'm a 21 yr old college student and I don't make any money. I guess we all have to adapt.
@@GauravSingh-ku5xy I would recommend talking to a counselor at your college. If you tell them you can't afford it, they'll often just make it free. That's what I did. Actually, the full story was they asked me if I could afford it, I hesitated for 10 seconds thinking about it, and then she just made it free lol. As a last resort, getting a second opinion from your friends and family can make a world of difference. What kind of behaviors are they noticing that you might not be?
@@MrMctastics Hey I don't want to nag but here in india colleges have no concept of mental health issues let alone a counselor for them. It's alright, and im sure I can fix it using the resources I have found. But thanks for your concern. I appreciate it.
OMG that hair is beautiful!!! Breakdowns are sad and hard, but it can be transformed into something a bit more positive if we can take something from them that makes us move forward and into a better place!
Thanks for openness! You are one of my favourite CZcamsrs my thoughts are with you and PS love the hair!
Emma, thank you for sharing this learning journey with us. As someone who is trying to figure out how to react to certain things in life, this helps a lot. Hopefully you have peace knowing that you are doing what is necessary.
Emma you'll get through this I know you will. When ever I'm feeling down I just put on one of your videos and the lovely tone to them always makes me feel so much better. I wish I had videos for you to watch and make you feel better. PS one the new hair colour very beautiful and love the black dress with those knife earrings you look amazing !!!!
Hey, I never usually comment on any videos of any kind but this one resonates with me as I'm at my lowest point in life right now myself. Whatever is wrong in you're life right now please know it is just a phase of life you have to overcome with care and perseverance. All the best. PS I love the videos
Gosh, I can relate too much. It was a blessing to hear from you. Sending happy vibes. And your hair looks gorgeous!
27 here, have no idea what the F I'm doing, if I'm happy, is this the career I want, the life I want. Bit of a wakeup call seeing myself in the mirror (your video) but as you say, it's life. Take the time to learn what's best for you, what make's you happy and work on being the best person that you are. You've got this. Also you're right, the microwave jingle is amazing
There is nothing more complicated than dealing with feelings of depression. However, one thing I will say is I really look forward to your videos. I'm sure there are more people here that feel the same but you brighten my day with your content.
I personally enjoy these videos that people can connect with, understand, and realize they're not alone. BTW, digging the hair!
Thank you for sharing your story Emma! Really hope you feel better soon. It is so important to tackle these issues head on, you are an inspiration to us all.
Storms make trees take deeper roots ~ Dolly Parton
Don’t worry, Emma. This too shall pass and you’ll be stronger for it. ♥️✝️
You know, ive had the same depression and anxiety building over the last year and...the funk is real. The breakdown is real. We all have to find ourselves and figure out who we are. Not who we were. You are not alone. I dont know what's going on of course but facing the breakdown is a win. Don't forget that. 💜
I’m going through this also (introspection from COVID lockdown isolation making me realize how much past trauma is affecting my daily life) along with a sort of existential crisis since I am planning to live in Japan at some point (I’m in the US) and I’m realizing how difficult that will be but I guess I’ll see where life takes me. I’ve been in college for Japanese and Asian studies but had to take a leave of absence because of COVID/depression last fall, and coming back this fall. I should be going to Japan for study abroad next year if school keeps working out for me. Thanks for sharing your struggle, a lot of vlogs make expats look like they’re living their best life all the time
Videos like these make me feel less alone. They make me feel like my feelings matter. Thank you ❤️
dude, the fact they came up and you dealt with those feelings whwn you realised them was amazingly brave, coragous and a massive win/,investment for future you. and to do that in a country renound for "just be more happy" is testimate to your stregnth and tenasity.
The outfits with the new hair tho! Sucks you’re having a bad time, but you are looking good through it! :)
Emma, thanks for being so open! I can relate so much to having previous problems that have affected me and caused depression. I'm really glad to feel like I'm not the only person who deals with this!
I love your hair!
Your hair looks amazing!
Take your time with healing and moving forward, you have to do it at your pace. Don't rush for anyone/anything.
Take care, we love you
As someone who has struggled with depression for a long time, I know enough to know that no one knows how you feel but you. But we're pulling for you, and I hope you find some of the same joy that your channel brings to so many others.
Think the new hair was an indicator that your journey had started - there is a Coco Chanel quote - a woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life ( or similar). Keep travelling the path and you’ll get there. Wishing you all the best xx
When girls cut their hair and meanwhile give that look in the mirror, you know shit's goin down.
I feel you! I'm about to turn thirty, in my last few semester's of college, no love life and living at home with family. The struggle sometimes. just think you have over came every single bad day thus far. You are killing it. You are so funny, down to earth and very relatable. A fan for life here. :)
Your honesty with your mental health is super super helpful to me and probably others whom have struggled with depression. I get what you’re saying: I haven’t felt real joy in years but I’ve had a few changes where there is hope. I’m in the middle of the journey too…
I just want to hug you Emma. It sounds so much like the late 20's existential crisis.... I personally coped really badly with conforming to society and adulthood. During my youth, I was always a critical thinker and a rebel; strong, independent, philosophical and artistic. But after some very severe traumas in early adulthood I was lost for a veeeery long time. I started to listen to what other people were saying. Started to live according to other peoples ideals. I lost my independence. I studied hard, got a well-paid job, worked late hours. My ex. wife cheered me on to do so, as we were on an up-going path to "success" (according to society)... and the thing was, I was slowly growing unhappier.... I never wanted kids... she knew, but I was told by my her and even my closest surroundings that I "just wasn't ready yet", which was of course, untrue (I love kids, I just don't want to live a life of parenthood). We married, started to live an expensive life style, always buying/upgrading status items (apartment, car, household items... like one should in western society)... when she later really pushed for kids, I couldn't do it anymore, I had drifted so far away from the person I was, so far away from my core values that I one day didn't recognize myself anymore. It all of that boiled down to a mid-life crisis. We had to divorce because our ideals were so different and it took me a couple of years for me to get back up on my feet... and eventually I did... This led me to a life of freedom. Today I basically only buy food... I live in a tiny studio apartment with minimal expenses.... I have no worries, one month of work will offer me 6 months of freedom. Nowadays I have time to be with the people I love, I have no income but I have time to do what I love (developing video games). It is such a stark contrast to the hectic western life I led. But I am happy now, I am glad that I faced my past, that I had the courage to question everything that I had become during those awful years in my 20's. I don't know what you are going though... But I can only say that every person struggles through life. either knowingly or unknowingly. You being so honest about this and listening to your own voice tells me that you are on a great path. The journey can be rough, but I know you will make it through!
This is where getting into your 30's is a killer, I feel like I can finally start being that person I was before I had to make money, though you've generally got two different routes to choose from.
"I want to live in ignorance bliss but that's unhealthy" OMG I AM FEEEEEELIN THAT ONEEEEEE
I'm sorry you are going through a tough time, your videos have always made me happy and added inspiration to my day.
My dad likes to say "You don't think your way to better acting, you act your way to better thinking." Such a dad phrase, but remembering it has always helped me when I've been in a bad place. Hope it helps! Also physical exercise is a great physical override for depression & anxiety. Good luck & hope you are feeling better soon!
Oh Emmaaa, I am feeling all the mixed emotions, currently in a very similar situation as I've always been circling by working myself to exhaustion to push what is really bothering me aside. Recently I've been forced by my own body to take a break and chill out after so many years. Also I was able to binge your old videos during this time and as someone whose plans to come back to Japan were cancelled by covid I can't express how precious it is to see Tokyo & other places through your lense. You are extremely relatable for (surely not only!) me which is another thing that certainly helps, to know one is not alone with their struggles. I'm sure you'll be able to figure out whatever needs to be figured out with time. Your videos got me out of my funk many times, even if just for a little. So I hope reading some encouragementsy comments might cheer you up too. Be kind to yourself
Learning when to take breaks and put things into perspective is how we trully evolve as humans. Take your time to relax and enjoy the little things and figure out what's trully important to you :3 Glad to see that you are back Emma!
I hope everything is okay ❤ it seems so easy to bottle everything up, but the bottle is only so big so eventually stuff comes out. Usually at the worst time too. I can sympathize with how you feel, the past few years have been very hard for me. I've just been trying to plug away every day and hope that things will get better.
Thank you for sharing and I hope you feel better soon 🥰 on another note ! You look amazing, not that you didn't before, but you're really looking amazing !
I only recently discovered your channel, and have been thoroughly enjoying all of your content. I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles, but the struggle will get easier, and you will only be better for it! Just know you have a lot of people sending good vibes your way!
I’m so glad the dark cloud has slightly passed, even though the darkness lingers you made it out the other side! Take your time coming back and know we all love you and can’t wait to see you back at your best! Remember the strongest people have that can of worms. Sending you so much love! ❤️
Ps. The sofa set up with the plants was KILLA x
Nothing like a good old quarter life crisis. As I get older they come every few month now.
Life is a continuous up and down. Stay strong!
Thank you so much for sharing this Emma. It’s helped me (& probably many others) who are struggling with the fuckery that is life sometimes to feel less alone 🖤
I related a lot to this video and you put into words what I can’t. Thank you for sharing, you’re a star Emma!
I’m not doing well. But this made me feel less alone.
Late 20's is like that, emotionally messy as all hell! There's a reason its called 'second pubity'! But its amazing to overcome, and then you get to look forward to the hangover hell of the 30's!!! yayayayayayay
can i just say your outfits are so lovely throughout this video 🥺 also, so proud with how far youve come, youve got it girl 👏💜
Even on medicine, I had my first huge breakdown a few days ago. So glad for my family to help me through it. Love your hair color. It really looks great on you. I pray that you keep growing and keep understanding on how to get better. A therapist is invaluable. Keep going if you can!!! Love ya!!!
Everyone has breakdowns. Eventually you get over them. Personally, my mom died three years ago, and I spiraled hard. Fortunately I came around. It took a lot of time and therapy. Always focus on your mental health and know life has ebbs and flows.
God I’ve missed these videos. Hope you are doing okay!
Perfect timeing 😅 I had a breakdown today too. This video kind of help a little today. Thanks and lot's of love to you too,
Thank you so much for sharing ❤ I'm working on my journey too! We got this!
I don’t know what you’re going through but just know that you’re not alone! Personally I experienced trauma when I was younger from coming out and it use to be something that would control my everyday actions and it was something I would think about a lot. I personally came over a lot of these things when I realized that these things weren’t affecting me anymore and the only thing hurting me still was myself… if that make sense. I’ve been slowly unraveling my feelings and actions and picking away at myself to figure out what causes me to do things like have trust issues and etc. I’m not saying you should do exactly what I did because obviously your experience isn’t the same as mine but I say all of this to hopefully be helpful and show that you’re not alone. My best suggestion is do what feels right and remember that you’re making progress everyday even if it doesn’t feel like it. :)