That's not true at all. First of all cheating is only in the eyes of the person in the contract. If that's what you want for your marriage you to prevent your spouse from experiencing any joy with other members of the opposite sex that's your selfish desire and that's up to you. But I don't see that's love. When you love somebody you want the best for them you want them to get the most out of life you don't let your jealousy rob them of some of the best things life has to offer
@@phenel I'm sorry what part did you find confusing? If you love somebody you're not going to let your jealousy prevent them from experiencing some of the best things life has to offer how is that confusing? If you're jealousy is so powerful and overcomes your love then you need to find somebody that feels like that too so you can have only each other shut the whole world out but healthy people want to experience emotional relations with other people and your love shouldn't stop that because that wouldn't be love. Do you need me to explain it again differently I'm not sure what you're confused about
"you think just because I made the choice to be in a relationship with you I have to respect your boundaries? I'm selfish so I'll call that controlling"
I really had to have this conversation with my ex- friend! She was unwilling to accept that going on a double-date with a guy who wasn't her boyfriend was cheating!! It wasn't until I asking "So if I told *boyfriends name* what you did this weekend, he would already know about it and wouldn't be surprised or upset at all..?" That's when she panicked 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
That's emotional cheating and the term for the scenario your described is along the lines of tree hopping. Grabbing a boyfriend/girlfriend as a position holder while looking for an emotional connection with someone better.
Definitely is. Probably putting some money in a backup account each month too. Just imagine if a man did something like that. All you would hear is “financial abuse!”
Which clearly, they are either deflecting the issue, or don’t know what real insecurity means. Which is just lack of confidence. And how can you be confident in trusting your partner when they do this?
Or controlling. I was having a chat with a mom of another kid on my sons baseball team. My wife confronted me about it that night and said it made her uncomfortable. I politely said I would never do it again. Once she got a job where its just her and her male boss in the office most days, I expressed how that made me feel. Not to mention him always giving her "bonuses" as gift cards, football game tickets and food stuffs like cheese cake. She of course blew me off about my concerns.
You don't know this not everybody is controlled by jealousy I'm not. I have taken my girl out before and went to go do something and saw some guy hitting on her I was like I'm going to let those two have some fun. I don't let my jealousy rob the person I love of joy
@@darkeen42 no problem you can do as you please. She might have turned on you had you said anything. So where is the line? And how big is the dual standard? Can men go out to patrol and flirt with women while engaged? Married? Can he touch your girl? When do men become cucks?
@@darkeen42That's not called not letting jealousy control me that's you being cuckold do really thinks that she would accept the same thing if a girl Tried to do the same thing to you? ofc not and she would be right If she let other dude hit her up while you're around that means you're not satisfying her or she's not comfortable around you bro don't fall for that Later on you'll find her attracted to other man and leave you for him because you let him sneak because you think that jealousy is controlling you
Yup, that’s the same mindset that leads to people “accidentally cheating”. Like “I didn’t mean to. It just happened.” The epitome of not taking responsibility.
Cheating can never happen accidentally because cheating is a choice and they decided to cheat so they don't deserve our time nor money nor our effort nor our love cuz they're just whores who can't be loyal
The wife and I have a steward agreement. If you wouldn't do it while the other is watching, you don't do it even if they are on the other side of the planet.
This is so right. Me and my bf were really sure in our relationship. He was a very flirty one, often without noticing fluting with cashiers. It never bothered me once. We were spending emotional support to our expartners over the phone. He once said to one of his friends it would be okay if i slept with other men, he just wants that im happy. Hes dead for over 2 years and i slep with other men, but i can't bring myself to imagine a relationship with anyone. Relationship is way more than just going to bed together.
As a married man I consider emotional affairs more egregious than physical. My wife was wounded by her many exes left her unable to trust anyone and her baseline is that her thoughts and feelings are not valued even by me, her husband, and its been a fight of patience to have her vulnerable to me. If she started connecting with another dude emotionally and opening up to him that would cut me to the core. If a man loves you he wants primarily your heart, your vulnerability, not just sex. Especially these days when sex is so cheap .
Wounded by HER MANY EXES Well, good luck with that. That sounds an awful lot like a fundamentally broken woman who needed a repair guy to take care of her after getting taken too often in her past. Maybe you're one of the few "lucky" ones and it works out. But most of the time it's not "the exes" who are the problematic aspect in the equation
I hear you and youre not alone. Mine how ever never fully trusted me and filed for divorce in Feb. Not only does it come from her first ex who left her after getting her pregnant for the 2nd time, she had past sexual trauma from other people as well. Most was never disclosed to me. It was never going to work, but since I jumped in way too quickly, we were married till she decided she had had enough.
@@pablobuquet2534 Yes, it is. Men, don't confide in other women. Women don't confide in other men. You're partners, you go to each other to deal with any issues, or you go to the same sex. Revealing cracks in the relationship to the opposite sex opens doorways to be taken advantage of. You should want to be the one your partner comes to for near just about anything and everything.
@@Garthorium I agree with everything you said except the part that men don’t confide in other men. Anybody can say what they want about fraternities, but the truth is, you become such good friends with these guys that they truly are brothers. There are things that I know would worry whatever woman I am with at the time, and it’s not worth ruining her peace of mind worrying about a problem that she has no control over and doesn’t necessarily need to know about it. That’s when I’m going to one of my boys and we’ll talk about it, probably talk shit and make fun of each other about whatever it is which actually takes a lot of the stress away, then they’ll pass along any advice they can think of. I think that is healthier for both whatever girl I am dating at the time and myself. Plus, It’ll probably lead to a better outcome!
This is what I tell people. Positioning is important. If you're loyal and honorable, don't put your in a place where you do not wanna be. These things never "just happen"
@@dark_SDKR for some it does, not for all. Assuming people are aspiring to meet the same requirements they require in a partner, then refer to the original comment 🙏🏽
I fully support that, even though those values are getting rarer each day it seems, I'll still stand by them no matter what. Can't bear people who don't put themselves up to the same, it's bare minimum 😂
@@drsnova7313if you’re only allowed to have fun with your partner then you need to reevaluate your relationship. If you’re triggered by this persons comment then you are probably the girl on the left 😔
But what if your partner doesn't think it should be exclusively for them what if your partner is less concerned about their jealousy than your document of life?
For me the highlight here is don't do something you wouldn't be comfortable with your partner doing. Different couples may have different boundaries for what they consider comfort but for me the take away is that needs to be respected equally.
This! I flirt with my roommate and his girlfriend all the time. It's not a problem if all parties are ok with it. It's just a fun little thing to do and isn't serious unless you WANT it to be serious. Like is looking at porn cheating if your partner is uncomfortable with it? I'd argue that if you are willingly going against your partners wishes and flirt with someone else, then said partner can absolutely see it as cheating. It's about intent. Do I flirt with this person because we are both attracted and are having fun with each other or am I genuinly thinking about doing more than talk with this person, where would my partner be comfortable with. Is finding someone random on the street attractive cheating? I bring this up because what is and what isn't cheating is in the eye of the beholder, some couples are fine with their partner sleeping with random people others wouldn't. But claiming that a person definitely cheated even though you don't know their status on said thing is patronizing af. To claim one is cheating when you don't know the circumstances of the relationship is stepping over the line IMO. Like if I know that two of my friends who are in a relationship are struggleing and one of them made it clear that they don't want their partner to flirt with random people than I will ofc speak to said friend about their behavior. But honestly just because YOU'D be uncomfortable in that situation wouldn't mean that others are too... Edit: Moreover Dating doesn't mean jack shit if you guys haven't made it clear that you are exclusive?
Watched a girl of mine who was in a 3 year relationship give her IG away to a stranger at a bar and didn’t think it was cheating or wrong. This gen is crazy
She makes the perfect point of 'what if the shoe was on the other foot'. Gf would be absolutely hysterical. Women consder emotional connections to be cheating too. The delusion of the modern woman is captured perfectly here
@@leonl1559 I agree that it is people in general, but I disagree that it has nothing to do with gender at all. Women go out with their friends and get approached constantly, get drinks bought for them, etc. Letting somebody buy you drinks also goes along with this. How often do you see men get approached or drinks bought for them? The overwhelming majority of men will never be approached by a woman. Now, if a man is dating somebody and buying another woman drinks, that would be an issue.
They understand it but when you understand women you see they're using plausible deniability to their advantage, some women aren't like that but most are rewarded for feigning ignorance
“Admitting someone is attractive isn’t cheating. But when you act on that attraction, then it becomes cheating” (talking to, flirting, emotional connection, sex). A quote I heard a while ago that has stuck with me since.
If I stopped talking with all attractive people I will literally get in prison or drug rehab, because only people I don't find attractive are drug addicts and criminals.
Sex and flirting are cheating, talking and forming an emotional connection are not. Would talking to an attractive girl about music be cheating, would having a friend who is an attractive girl be cheating.
@@bogdanburlacu2951maybe not but if you’re a straight man the only reason you’d talk to or want to be friends with an attractive girl is because she’s attractive I don’t mean to be that guy but let’s be real, straight men and women have no reason to be friends outside of school
This is about the best example of cheating I've ever heard/seen. I have had this conversation endless times with multiple people explaining this. Usually I just get something like I'm insecure....but it's a matter of trust and respect. Good one!
YES!! thank you. flirting is absolutely cheating. never flirt with someone who is not your partner. its showing sexual attraction to them, and can lead to sexual actions.
As long as his religion allows him to have more than one wife and thereby follow the tradition of previous prophets of God like Moses, Solomon, David, Abraham etc and he marries the girl right before the action comes into play, I think everything would be ok.
Ehh ... Can but ultimately it is about the thought in your head. Intent matters. For example flirting with someone in front of your wife for your wife's benefit (if she is shallow enough for it to be an ego boost) can actually make a marriage more secure. Women cheat less if they see other women want the man they are with.
Yea but I feel like having a conversation and flirting with someone are pretty different. The girl who said the other was cheating assumed that she was flirting when I don’t think that talking to someone who’s “funny and interesting” is the same as flirting
I just ended a short releationship with someone who I had plans with on a saturday night. I sat waiting and waiting, and then nothing. Ghosted. Next day I was asked for forgiveness without given a reason. I was upset. But then I got flack for being angry. I asked if she would be angry if I ghosted her with not response. She said she would be pissed. Things are two ways. Once they become one way....time to go your own way.
My wife "forgot" my birthday this year, we had been together for 9 years. She wouldnt let me just sulk for a day or two and begged me to take us out for dinner. If I wasnt married, I would have broke it off then. At least here we are 6 months later and getting the divorce upon her request.
@@darkeen42 well either way, I don’t think that it’s OK personally, my point in that comment was just to say if it’s something that you have to keep from your spouse that’s how you know. It’s a bad thing you know which sounds like common sense but you’d be surprised how many people I’ve met who don’t think that or at least like to convince themselves that they don’t.
@@teresawatson9032 I do agree with that. But I just don't think people thinking jealousy is a virtue is healthy you should be as unjealous as you can and society especially this comment section is trying to tell people jealousy is a good thing it is not. If you actually love somebody you should want them to experience all the great things of life not avoid joy just because of hurt your feelings. And if society came to that conclusion there would be a lot less jealousy but people are guilted into being jealous. No matter how you slice it that's bad Wait a minute
This is why it's so important to talk with your partner about boundaries. Cheating is not black and white, and just because you think it's cheating doesn't mean your partner does.
Cheating is absolutely black and white. Your care for if your partner does it or not/to what extent depends on if you love them. If you're fine with any level of cheating, you don't love them and it's a you problem
@@KCville6324well some Arab guys would consider cheating not wearing a black hijab outside and working in a company with other men. So it’s totally not black and white.
@@NastasyashantiMuslim* people don't, technically, marry for love, generally, and the men are allowed up to 4 wives, at a time, but the women are not allowed more than 1 husband.. so, being more like a breeder business than a monogamous couple, that can't count.
@@KCville6324 If you think love is the same as jealousy and possessiveness, that's definitely a YOU problem. All couples have different boundaries, and very happy non-monogamous couples exist, just as very miserable strictly monogamous ones do.
Dated a woman who thought I was the asshole when she told me she's "going out with her friends to a dance club" and I got upset. She said "What? You can go to a bar with your guy friends if you want to." Months later it was confirmed she was cheating on me.
Clubbing is a single persons life. Always be aware. My ex forbid me from going with her to the nightclub if her friends were going, she would then book her friends in weeks in advance, essentially locking me out of spending weekends with her. Guessed she was doing shit she didn't want me to see.
I'm sorry that happened to you. Cheating is absolutely horrible and it absolutely shatters someone's trust, and that sticks with you. I hope you're doing well, and remember you are worth more than what she treated you as.
@@masantahelperkiller7797 - thank you that's very sweet of you to say. Some days are better than others but I still have trust issue from long before she showed up.
@@jontnoneya3404 I can get that, trust is something incredibly hard to build up. Especially if you had a hard time prior due to past things and then something like that happens. I really hope you can gain the strength to trust again, it honestly takes so much to do and have. Take it one day at a time 😊
This is true. Cheating is emotional intimacy too. You can be friends. No flirting, no stexting, no erp ing.. if you want those things.. why are you not single. Don't be exclusive if you really don't want to be exclusive. Communication is required in a healthy relationship.
Although I agree that there are degrees of cheating and that flirting is cheating, I don't think that just having a fun conversation with somebody who happens to be attractive is cheating.
Gotta read between the lines, why was one of the first things about him was that he's hot? Yea people can notice beauty without some ulterior motive but doing single people activity while talking to a guy doesn't invite good feelings
And then where do you draw the line? You’re fine with me speaking to your girl and telling her she has beautiful lips while we dance salsa? Just an innocent fun night out?
Well my girl encourages it. I don't think you know what respect means I respect my wife enough not to think my jealousy should Rob experiences from her. Where do you think jealousy is something to be proud of instead of being ashamed of
@@darkeen42 human connection is not the same as being intimately connected to another guy who you find sexually attractive which is one step away from sleeping with them mind you probably already lusted after them
All relationships should be built on mutual trust and respect, if you can't represent this, it's time for you to break up and find someone who can help you represent it
If your mad and think of killing someone your a killer? No your not maybe a bad person for thinking it but not a killer in some bads actions you need the action for being guilty not only the thought
@@RubenDeanda-lb9wrI get what ur saying but in this case she had a full on flirty convo with the dude so it would be like actually prepping for the murder and not what doing, even if you don’t do it yet it’s still a red flag
@@RubenDeanda-lb9wr if your partner isn't ok with it don't do it, some things that doesn't apply but for the most part you chose the partner so accept their boundaries
@@RubenDeanda-lb9wr Getting emotional gratification and sexually stimulated by deliberately engaging in endeavors outside of what is appropriate and responsible is... cheating.
Why does it take so long for a man woman to commit to each other? I also wonder why Billie is not married yet? Maybe she is but I see her referring to her partner as her boyfriend not husband.
Also in this scenario it seems that the onus is on the man so I should actually phrase the question or my comment that men should commit to a woman faster why leave them in the uncertainty loop?
@@roberth835 Why do you see involving the state in your love life as the only sign of commitment? Commitment is as a mindset and a pattern of behaviours, not a marriage certificate. You obviously missed the part in the video where the guy she was flirting with is married.
Flirting leads to cheating. You open yourself up emotionally. If youre in a relationship, shut that down before it starts so you dont disrespect your spouse.
As a guy, I don't control who my significant other is allowed to associate with or talk to. BUT I also make sure that we both have and understand boundaries.
That's not realistic. For the men out there you shouldn't be spending time with someone else's women alone. If you stop in and your friend isn't there don't go inside alone with his wife/spouse. You may not even intend on doing anything but you shouldn't be putting yourself in a position that could become complicated such as an emotional connection
@@kevincarlos973 I wouldn’t even say some. Very few are not at least subconsciously attracted to the other. The idea is that much of love is chemical and out of your control if you expose yourself to it. Much like if you carried a piece of iron in your pocket bumping it around and rubbing against magnets. Eventually someone is going to stick. That’s why if you want a relationship to work out and you want to avoid “accidents”, or tough emotional moments of vulnerability it’s best to set boundaries with other people. Your female best friend from childhood shouldn’t be cuddling up on the couch with you at 25 years old watching a movie alone. Going out on private dates alone. For men, if you stop by your friends house and only his wife is home don’t go inside whether she invites you in or not. Respect their relationship, respect him, and don’t put anyone in any positions of complicated emotion. You can say men and women should be friends and that some cases work out but in general it’s not going to and it’s not a smart idea if you value the relationship or respect your partner and their time.
Depends on the relationship. It's worth having a discussion about what would make your partner uncomfortable and would classify as cheating to them. That line very much varies from person to person.
@coregazer Not exactly how it seems to be defined. Emotional cheating is when someone in a relationship shares vulnerable moments, or information about intamate / personal relationship details, or emotional feelings that they do not want to share with their partner with someone else. Sure they could be a viable alternative partner, but that isn't a prerequisite, it is more about removing an emotional element from the relationship and having that aspect or need met by a third party, without any sexual or relationship intent. (But yes, there could be in some case but then it's just cheating cheating)
It can also mentally and emotionally hurt your partner who is in love with you, to show parts of your body to others and been seen by them, (it’s why having your partner dress right in public is so important, and why men don’t want their woman naked on the internet either) and talking to anyone and giving them your attention in general, (which is kind’ve impossible to avoid in most cases) not just laughing and engaging in sexual flirtation and romantic expressions with someone too.
@Jdabomb93 Yeah, this creator actually covered that not to long ago, the dressed up as if you are single or in a way deliberately provocative when you are going out on a girls night or to a work do without your partner. That kinda thing.
Apparently you've never encountered eye rolls before. It's pretty much the opposite of what they mean. With that handful of straws you'd make a mighty fine first little pig
Another thing people will do is they like to flirt, or let somebody hit on them to make their partner jealous. That backfires a lot, they will turn off their partner rather than make them jealous. Nobody wants to marry a flirt, the flirty just look dirty.
The last overgrown girl (not giving her the honor of calling her "woman" as that implies a degree of maturity beyond that of a child) to leave me justified it by telling me that "I wouldn't want to cheat on you." They were engaged before the end of that month.
So true. And I get so annoyed with this trend of people trolling girls that say "Sorry, I have a boyfriend" when guys try to approach them. I mean how would u want your girl to react when strange guys hit on her when you are not around??
Exactly. If a girl is happy and loyal, there's no reason to invite a flirty guy to sit. Everybody knows he's not trying to make a new friend, he wants to bang her. He can move along.
It's important in a committed relationship that you agree on what you both consider cheating. There's actually plenty of people that are fine with their partners flirting like this. I've certainly hit on some girls that were in a relationship, BF shows up. You check what's up, give him a compliment about his GF being a catch and wish them a nice day/evening.
Definitely. No one is alike. But it's very important to know whether or not the person you are talking to, flirting with, etc. Is taken or not. I have found girls I like only to find out they are taken. I have found married women attractive. There was one woman I saw at a party but didn't talk to. The next day in the audience at a beauty pageant she already knew who I was and talked to me, introducing herself. As soon as I talked to her I told her, "you're beautiful! You have a nice figure!" She told me, "thAnk you" and she introduced me to her daughter. I said the same thing because I also thought she was beautiful and had a nice figure. She introduced me to her husband and I asked him if he minded me complimenting his wife and daughter. He said, "she's yours!" That made me feel better about me running my mouth. He even was willing to take a picture of me, his wife and his daughter! Very nice people, but still there was a part of me that felt I needed to talk to my pastor. He said that me finding her attractive wasn't wrong, just don't take it further. Yeah definitely be careful with anyone. Definitely know whether or not someone is in a relationship. Everyone is different.
Women in a nutshell: “Rules for thee, and none for me!” Girl’s night isn’t allowed. I don’t have to go everywhere my wife goes. But, if I am not invited, she is not invited. It works the other way, too. I don’t run off with the guys. My wife is always welcome to spend the evening with me wherever I go.
Do yourself a favour and leave now. Been there, done that. Just because you saw it once, doesn’t mean it only happened once. And if she doesn’t see anything wrong with that, it only proves the lack of respect she has for you. She is likely to do it again (and worse) so leave. Don’t waste your time.
I agree it's not cheating me and my sister-in-law have that kind of relationship. We hug and cuddle and my wife is okay with it just like I'm okay with her dancing with people out. But really whether it's cheating or not depends on your opinion. But I always thought that love means you want the best for the person that you love not that you let your jealousy restrict and restrain their lives
@@darkeen42kinda where I'm at lately, iv literally heard of straight dudes get jealous of gay men talking to their girl like..... If you're jealous of a gay guy taking your girl I'm afraid you have bigger issues man 😅
@@darkeen42 Couples set their own boundaries for cheating. I'd be ok with my girl dancing with other guys. But if they start bumping and grinding and laying their hands all over, that's a big no for me
Agreed, HOWEVER. There is no such thing as "implicit boundaries." That's why it's so crucial to have a clear conversation about what you and your partner are or aren't comfortable with. Something that is obviously not cheating for one person might mean a complete betrayal for another, so don't just assume what your partner needs or expects. Boundaries should be defined, explicitly (and hopefully early on) by both parties
Or does tradition just put us in a one size fits none box? As someone who is not traditional I agree with needing to talk it out. I'm a very friendly person the situation in the video wouldn't make me uncomfortable at all. I've had that situation multiple times with partners in the room on both sides. For me cheating happens at deceit. I've even encouraged partners to flirt and wingmanned for them. Traditional doesn't work for me. As long as all parties are consenting adults and no boundaries have been broken it's fun. But not everyone feels that way. Hence the need for a conversation.
I agree. Theres no such thing as "harmless flirting." The point of flirting is to let someone know you're interested in them, which is good if you're available.
@@user-pm1kf9ko4vexceptions don't prove the rule incorrect 💯 Not a single one of my girlfriends or any of the girlfriends I have ever seen other dudes with would EVER be okay with a dude openly bragging about flirting with a hot girl at the bar while his girlfriend was at home. Every single one of them would have turned it into a tornado of feelings. Nice try, though 💪🏻
@@user-pm1kf9ko4v I'm not talking about periodic functions. I'm talking about woman being jealousy-filled creatures with double standards. Your statement didn't prove that wrong. Try a third time ♥️
Yep you hit this on the nose. My wife (of 20 years) had a few emotional affairs with guys online. We eventually divorced because that was a prelude to more disrespect. I remarried to a wonderful woman who doesn't cheat or disrespect me.
You said it at the end, if you do something you know they would be uncomfortable with. That line is different for everyone, they might be okay with flirting, they might not be okay with talking to co-workers outside of work. Key issue is tslk to your partner about their and your boundaries.
Went through this exact scenario with a girl that I had been dating for about a year. She watched it and completely freaked out, screaming at me, calling me a cheater, and many other flowery words. When her rant subsided, I Her face turned white as a sheet; she started screaming demanding to know who had filmed her. I said it didn’t matter. And then I sent her a video with myself and the friend who helped me waving and saying goodbye to her. Saying that I filmed this with the help of a friend so I could show her what a steaming pile of diseased hypocrisy she was and that I was breaking up with her!
Cheating is breaking the rules of the relationship correct so maybe allow people in the relationship to determine their own rules don't insist you get a determine them for them
THIS. I was annoyed at my ex for flirting with a guy she liked, yet I offered a female colleague a lift home from work and she said that it was “cheating” and immaturely posted on her story about it.
One of the roles my grandad lived by during his 63yr marriage was, conduct yourself as though your partner is by your side all the time. If you would do it in front of them, don’t do it when they aren’t there.
Genuinely I’ve seen had a conversation like this. The closest I’ve seen is men that make sexual/flirtatious jokes invoking me or towards me while either I am or they are in a relationship, and I tell them to cut it out or ignore them. I imagine most people when they do something like that know they’re cheating and wouldn’t admit that behavior to people who won’t enable them.
FACTS 💯 Flirting IS cheating. And allow me to expand on this point. Lying is ALSO lying by omission. In other words, if you're in an exclusive, monogamous, committed relationship, here's how to check your moral compass. Just think about putting yourself in your partner's place. Don't say or do anything you wouldn't want them saying or doing without your knowledge. It's simply the "do unto others" rule. And anything that you think you need to hide from your partner, that's a pretty good indicator to avoid doing it. That's your conscience speaking, and it's calling you out for being guilty. Hence "guilty conscience". Hiding things or "just not telling them" IS a form of LYING. And miss me with these "girls night out" and "just the guys night out" BS. You or your partner have no business doing single people shit WITH your single friends. And finally, there's no such thing as your "work wife" or "work husband". You either have ONE wife or A husband. Or you don't. Thank you. And that sound you just heard? Was the sound of me just dropping the mic 🤛🏽🎤✋🏽
The bottom line is simple: don't do anything that you wouldn't want your partner to do either. In a fresh relationship flirting with other guys / girls can be awkward and trust damaging. However if your relationship is settled it should be totally normal for BOTH to talk to anybody they like.
Flirting has no restrictions on taking to anybody flirting is specific types of conversation usually with some sexual connotations involved not just small talk between different sexes
@@Bic-daxc69Tell that to my last ex. She was jealous when I visited my *sister*. My point is, it's a matter of definition where flirting begins. Just one example: Is ballroom dance (like tango) flirting or sport? If done well, there's a *hell* of a lot of sexy looks and mimics and body contact involved, but of course it's all for show.
I mean, it doesn't really work like that. My partner and I have different comfort levels - some things he's uncomfortable with, I don't mind, and vice versa. It's about respecting your partner *even if* it's something you wouldn't mind
@@AnotherFishyMuffin As long as you have an agreement that is reciprocal, it doesn't have to be exactly equal. Problems arise when one of you expects more total or restricts more totally than the other one.
You know the rest of the world disagrees with you America was founded by Puritans and would you hold tight to those unhealthy values. In my opinion if you love somebody you want them to have the best most fulfilling life they possibly can you don't let your jealousy restrict and restrain them like they're your property Love is not possessive Love should be freeing. You should love your spouse not possess them
@@Bic-daxc69 honestly yes I would and have. Now of course there are limitations and I don't suggest that for everybody. And it's gone the other way. My ex visited us from Louisiana for a week and we had a really good time. And then during COVID My wife spent most of COVID out of state with her families since her job was gone figured she might as well go enjoy her family. And that. While she was gone that same ex was running away from an abusive relationship. And while it did not happen this way my wife was very insistent that she come move in her kids with me at my house. And of course my house isn't big so the sleeping arrangements would have put her in my bed and my wife was encouraging of that. And it didn't happen but boy that really meant the world to me.
@@Bic-daxc69 so yeah over my life I have had five separate threesomes with girls. Not being a jealous punk as it's benefits. All of them with long trim relationships and even the other girls I am still close friends with.
@@darkeen42 sleeping in the same bed isn't what I meant I meant having sex with them but anyway that isn't the point boundaries are different for many people and going around not respecting boundaries is a problem if you are acting just like you would with everybody else that you are with your partner then their is no point in getting married in the first place
This reminds me when I was a dj in a bar and a girl came up to me and asked if I could have a dance with her. The first words out of my mouth was I can't I'm married.
And even if nothing physical happened, that behavior cultivates a pattern that I guarantee will end in physical infidelity. If you see no problem with a fun conversation at a bar with a hot guy, soon you won’t see anything wrong with some “harmless flirting.” And so on.
But that's exactly what they sound like. Why do you people confuse love with possession? If you love somebody you want the most fulfilling life for them not to restrict joy because you're jealousy bothers you if that's the case you should stay alone and not hold people down
@@darkeen42 so you think a girl who is supposed to be committed to you should be able to go out and flirt with other guys on nights out?? What if she wanted to fuck them should you say that's fine because because you want her to feel "fulfilled"?? Pun intended. How is she meant to respect you when you don't respect yourself enough to put boundaries on your relationship. Simpy behaviour there. 🤡🌎
Oh, those whamen use words without knowing, understanding their real meaning - it´s like buzz-words for them, parroting it, because the heard it somewhere :-D
@@kauetadaieski3131 no you still respect the hell out of her you just follow her rules.. I don't care about your rules why would I. She likes girl too your jealousy robs you both
for pointing out basic huamn standards that most people live by? and anyone who doesnt follow these standards isnt going to just magically be like yeah shes right? this is what gets respect nowadays
@@kyekruchoski1457 yeah go cry about only and only your standards going down somewhere else. And what do you think ; treating everyone and being treated by everyone like shit and pretending to adapt a fake personality should be getting respect. Now I understand why your standards are too low
This is what needed to hear now a days people don’t get that physical isn’t only cause of cheating it’s the end Flirting and other things is what where cheating starts
Let her go, if she's so interested in the single life you can't stop her plus why would you want a partner that would knowingly cross your boundary? Establish you don't want her going out when it's official then you can't be blamed for leaving her for flirting with others
i wish i had known this a lot sooner, my old friends had this same mindset where they wouldnt call it cheating even if i were to mention it to them. But because i didnt know of that, i broke my girlfriends heart. I am eternally grateful for her willingness to trust me again even after i shattered her heart. I am constantly working to improve myself and make up for my past mistakes, i wish i had known these things sooner.
Sex isnt where cheating starts, its where it ends
So true 👍
That's not true at all. First of all cheating is only in the eyes of the person in the contract. If that's what you want for your marriage you to prevent your spouse from experiencing any joy with other members of the opposite sex that's your selfish desire and that's up to you. But I don't see that's love. When you love somebody you want the best for them you want them to get the most out of life you don't let your jealousy rob them of some of the best things life has to offer
False, I’ve seen cheaters get married after leaving their partners. It’s a cold world
@@darkeen42 the hell are you on about?
@@phenel I'm sorry what part did you find confusing? If you love somebody you're not going to let your jealousy prevent them from experiencing some of the best things life has to offer how is that confusing? If you're jealousy is so powerful and overcomes your love then you need to find somebody that feels like that too so you can have only each other shut the whole world out but healthy people want to experience emotional relations with other people and your love shouldn't stop that because that wouldn't be love. Do you need me to explain it again differently I'm not sure what you're confused about
So many people need to hear this. Don’t do single people things if you’re not single.
"you think just because I made the choice to be in a relationship with you I have to respect your boundaries? I'm selfish so I'll call that controlling"
I’m single and I don’t even do single person things. I just work and sleep
@@DankSandwichsame
Say it again for the people in the back!❤
Why does your girl want to go to the places where the chads and Tyrone's hit the most
If it’s wrong when your partner is there, it’s wrong when they’re not there.
Actually a nice way to describe it.
Now that all depends on your partner it's their decision what's wrong you don't get to decide their relationship I'm sorry you think you can
Cool! My wife wouldn't mind participating in such conversation.
Gosh such persons are looking so insecure tbh
golden rule
I agree with you.
I really had to have this conversation with my ex- friend!
She was unwilling to accept that going on a double-date with a guy who wasn't her boyfriend was cheating!! It wasn't until I asking "So if I told *boyfriends name* what you did this weekend, he would already know about it and wouldn't be surprised or upset at all..?"
That's when she panicked 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
"Ex friend" is good, staying around such women ruins everyone, good that you left her.
That's emotional cheating and the term for the scenario your described is along the lines of tree hopping. Grabbing a boyfriend/girlfriend as a position holder while looking for an emotional connection with someone better.
She’s creating a backup guy
And he's looking for s side chick.
Not just that, but also think if an associate of his saw it, it makes him look like a cuckold.
Definitely is. Probably putting some money in a backup account each month too. Just imagine if a man did something like that. All you would hear is “financial abuse!”
@@Littletime839 Yes. Women love poaching from married men.
Sounds like non-commitment.
And when you tell those type of girls that you are not comfortable with them doing such, they call you "insecure"
That's bc they are messing with a girl not a woman
Which clearly, they are either deflecting the issue, or don’t know what real insecurity means.
Which is just lack of confidence.
And how can you be confident in trusting your partner when they do this?
that’s when you show them the door my brother….
Or controlling. I was having a chat with a mom of another kid on my sons baseball team. My wife confronted me about it that night and said it made her uncomfortable. I politely said I would never do it again. Once she got a job where its just her and her male boss in the office most days, I expressed how that made me feel. Not to mention him always giving her "bonuses" as gift cards, football game tickets and food stuffs like cheese cake. She of course blew me off about my concerns.
And controlling... Don't forget controlling.
100% correct. She would not accept the reverse if her man did this.
You don't know this not everybody is controlled by jealousy I'm not. I have taken my girl out before and went to go do something and saw some guy hitting on her I was like I'm going to let those two have some fun. I don't let my jealousy rob the person I love of joy
@@darkeen42 no problem you can do as you please. She might have turned on you had you said anything. So where is the line? And how big is the dual standard? Can men go out to patrol and flirt with women while engaged? Married? Can he touch your girl? When do men become cucks?
@@darkeen42That's not called not letting jealousy control me that's you being cuckold do really thinks that she would accept the same thing if a girl Tried to do the same thing to you? ofc not and she would be right If she let other dude hit her up while you're around that means you're not satisfying her or she's not comfortable around you bro don't fall for that Later on you'll find her attracted to other man and leave you for him because you let him sneak because you think that jealousy is controlling you
Yup, that’s the same mindset that leads to people “accidentally cheating”. Like “I didn’t mean to. It just happened.”
The epitome of not taking responsibility.
Cheating can never happen accidentally because cheating is a choice and they decided to cheat so they don't deserve our time nor money nor our effort nor our love cuz they're just whores who can't be loyal
We respect women not bitches💪🏼
The wife and I have a steward agreement. If you wouldn't do it while the other is watching, you don't do it even if they are on the other side of the planet.
This is a good one.
This is so right. Me and my bf were really sure in our relationship. He was a very flirty one, often without noticing fluting with cashiers. It never bothered me once. We were spending emotional support to our expartners over the phone. He once said to one of his friends it would be okay if i slept with other men, he just wants that im happy.
Hes dead for over 2 years and i slep with other men, but i can't bring myself to imagine a relationship with anyone.
Relationship is way more than just going to bed together.
Your wife is lying to your clueless ass 😅
Why do it when other is watching when you can do it both and watch?😂 swing swing...
Well damn, guess I can't poop anymore by that logic /s
Seriously though, that's a good rule.
As a married man I consider emotional affairs more egregious than physical.
My wife was wounded by her many exes left her unable to trust anyone and her baseline is that her thoughts and feelings are not valued even by me, her husband, and its been a fight of patience to have her vulnerable to me.
If she started connecting with another dude emotionally and opening up to him that would cut me to the core.
If a man loves you he wants primarily your heart, your vulnerability, not just sex.
Especially these days when sex is so cheap .
Wounded by HER MANY EXES
Well, good luck with that.
That sounds an awful lot like a fundamentally broken woman who needed a repair guy to take care of her after getting taken too often in her past.
Maybe you're one of the few "lucky" ones and it works out. But most of the time it's not "the exes" who are the problematic aspect in the equation
I hear you and youre not alone. Mine how ever never fully trusted me and filed for divorce in Feb. Not only does it come from her first ex who left her after getting her pregnant for the 2nd time, she had past sexual trauma from other people as well. Most was never disclosed to me. It was never going to work, but since I jumped in way too quickly, we were married till she decided she had had enough.
Its not all wrong
@@pablobuquet2534 Yes, it is. Men, don't confide in other women. Women don't confide in other men. You're partners, you go to each other to deal with any issues, or you go to the same sex.
Revealing cracks in the relationship to the opposite sex opens doorways to be taken advantage of. You should want to be the one your partner comes to for near just about anything and everything.
@@Garthorium I agree with everything you said except the part that men don’t confide in other men.
Anybody can say what they want about fraternities, but the truth is, you become such good friends with these guys that they truly are brothers. There are things that I know would worry whatever woman I am with at the time, and it’s not worth ruining her peace of mind worrying about a problem that she has no control over and doesn’t necessarily need to know about it. That’s when I’m going to one of my boys and we’ll talk about it, probably talk shit and make fun of each other about whatever it is which actually takes a lot of the stress away, then they’ll pass along any advice they can think of.
I think that is healthier for both whatever girl I am dating at the time and myself. Plus,
It’ll probably lead to a better outcome!
This is what I tell people. Positioning is important. If you're loyal and honorable, don't put your in a place where you do not wanna be. These things never "just happen"
loyal and honourable gets you nothing but used and betrayed.
@@dark_SDKR for some it does, not for all. Assuming people are aspiring to meet the same requirements they require in a partner, then refer to the original comment 🙏🏽
I fully support that, even though those values are getting rarer each day it seems, I'll still stand by them no matter what. Can't bear people who don't put themselves up to the same, it's bare minimum 😂
Cheating is giving anything that is supposed to be exclusively for your partner to anyone else.
So you're not allowed to have a funny, engaging conversation with anyone else. Right.
@@drsnova7313 Fun and funny or flirty & inappropriate?
@@drsnova7313you're moving the goalpost.
@@drsnova7313if you’re only allowed to have fun with your partner then you need to reevaluate your relationship. If you’re triggered by this persons comment then you are probably the girl on the left 😔
But what if your partner doesn't think it should be exclusively for them what if your partner is less concerned about their jealousy than your document of life?
It’s completely disrespectful. And childish, irresponsible.
All of that yes but not cheating
@@RubenDeanda-lb9writ’s emotional cheating. i’m sorry you’ve been cucked for so long.
Hope you grow a pair one day.
@@RubenDeanda-lb9wrhow is it not cheating? Or am I missing something?
@@JohnBrown-ig5nc One rule for thee, another for she.
@@RubenDeanda-lb9wr You're completely missing the point. Good job.
For me the highlight here is don't do something you wouldn't be comfortable with your partner doing. Different couples may have different boundaries for what they consider comfort but for me the take away is that needs to be respected equally.
Exactly, if someone won't respect your boundaries they won't be able to respect and care for you
This!
I flirt with my roommate and his girlfriend all the time. It's not a problem if all parties are ok with it. It's just a fun little thing to do and isn't serious unless you WANT it to be serious.
Like is looking at porn cheating if your partner is uncomfortable with it? I'd argue that if you are willingly going against your partners wishes and flirt with someone else, then said partner can absolutely see it as cheating. It's about intent. Do I flirt with this person because we are both attracted and are having fun with each other or am I genuinly thinking about doing more than talk with this person, where would my partner be comfortable with. Is finding someone random on the street attractive cheating?
I bring this up because what is and what isn't cheating is in the eye of the beholder, some couples are fine with their partner sleeping with random people others wouldn't. But claiming that a person definitely cheated even though you don't know their status on said thing is patronizing af.
To claim one is cheating when you don't know the circumstances of the relationship is stepping over the line IMO.
Like if I know that two of my friends who are in a relationship are struggleing and one of them made it clear that they don't want their partner to flirt with random people than I will ofc speak to said friend about their behavior.
But honestly just because YOU'D be uncomfortable in that situation wouldn't mean that others are too...
Edit: Moreover Dating doesn't mean jack shit if you guys haven't made it clear that you are exclusive?
Exactly
If your relationship is so k secure that thisbl is an issue, you're with the wrong person anyway lol
@@tompugh388 if you're not willing to respect a boundary stay single
Watched a girl of mine who was in a 3 year relationship give her IG away to a stranger at a bar and didn’t think it was cheating or wrong. This gen is crazy
She makes the perfect point of 'what if the shoe was on the other foot'. Gf would be absolutely hysterical. Women consder emotional connections to be cheating too. The delusion of the modern woman is captured perfectly here
Why don’t more women understand this? 😂
Its Not about gender its people in general
@@leonl1559 its especially common for woman though.
@@leonl1559 I agree that it is people in general, but I disagree that it has nothing to do with gender at all.
Women go out with their friends and get approached constantly, get drinks bought for them, etc. Letting somebody buy you drinks also goes along with this. How often do you see men get approached or drinks bought for them? The overwhelming majority of men will never be approached by a woman. Now, if a man is dating somebody and buying another woman drinks, that would be an issue.
They understand it but when you understand women you see they're using plausible deniability to their advantage, some women aren't like that but most are rewarded for feigning ignorance
You think men don't do this too?
“Admitting someone is attractive isn’t cheating. But when you act on that attraction, then it becomes cheating” (talking to, flirting, emotional connection, sex). A quote I heard a while ago that has stuck with me since.
I have an easier one for you: Cheating is behaving differently than if your partner were there close by/around
@@luisdiegocr 100% true
If I stopped talking with all attractive people I will literally get in prison or drug rehab, because only people I don't find attractive are drug addicts and criminals.
Sex and flirting are cheating, talking and forming an emotional connection are not. Would talking to an attractive girl about music
be cheating, would having a friend who is an attractive girl be cheating.
@@bogdanburlacu2951maybe not but if you’re a straight man the only reason you’d talk to or want to be friends with an attractive girl is because she’s attractive
I don’t mean to be that guy but let’s be real, straight men and women have no reason to be friends outside of school
Most important line "If your boyfriend told you the same story, would you think HE was cheating?"
This is about the best example of cheating I've ever heard/seen. I have had this conversation endless times with multiple people explaining this. Usually I just get something like I'm insecure....but it's a matter of trust and respect. Good one!
YES!! thank you. flirting is absolutely cheating. never flirt with someone who is not your partner. its showing sexual attraction to them, and can lead to sexual actions.
As long as his religion allows him to have more than one wife and thereby follow the tradition of previous prophets of God like Moses, Solomon, David, Abraham etc and he marries the girl right before the action comes into play, I think everything would be ok.
@@m.akif_khanif it's a mutual open relationship it's ok
@@m.akif_khanmade all them assumptions just to make it ok…
Ehh ... Can but ultimately it is about the thought in your head. Intent matters. For example flirting with someone in front of your wife for your wife's benefit (if she is shallow enough for it to be an ego boost) can actually make a marriage more secure. Women cheat less if they see other women want the man they are with.
Yea but I feel like having a conversation and flirting with someone are pretty different. The girl who said the other was cheating assumed that she was flirting when I don’t think that talking to someone who’s “funny and interesting” is the same as flirting
I just ended a short releationship with someone who I had plans with on a saturday night. I sat waiting and waiting, and then nothing. Ghosted. Next day I was asked for forgiveness without given a reason.
I was upset. But then I got flack for being angry. I asked if she would be angry if I ghosted her with not response. She said she would be pissed.
Things are two ways. Once they become one way....time to go your own way.
My wife "forgot" my birthday this year, we had been together for 9 years. She wouldnt let me just sulk for a day or two and begged me to take us out for dinner. If I wasnt married, I would have broke it off then. At least here we are 6 months later and getting the divorce upon her request.
Ghosting is never hearing from someone again. Not going 24 hrs not texting.
@@Todd_Swank Was she cheating?
@@danielallan8061 Not that i could find. She could be, she works in an office where its just her and her boss, so I wouldnt be surprised.
@@Todd_Swank he should have stayed with her.
She's never yours... it's just your turn.
I always say: If it’s something you have to keep a secret, that’s how you know it’s something you shouldn’t be doing
Yeah and if you don't need to keep it secret because your spouse is okay with it and not driven by jealousy is it okay?
@@darkeen42 well either way, I don’t think that it’s OK personally, my point in that comment was just to say if it’s something that you have to keep from your spouse that’s how you know. It’s a bad thing you know which sounds like common sense but you’d be surprised how many people I’ve met who don’t think that or at least like to convince themselves that they don’t.
@@teresawatson9032 I do agree with that. But I just don't think people thinking jealousy is a virtue is healthy you should be as unjealous as you can and society especially this comment section is trying to tell people jealousy is a good thing it is not. If you actually love somebody you should want them to experience all the great things of life not avoid joy just because of hurt your feelings. And if society came to that conclusion there would be a lot less jealousy but people are guilted into being jealous. No matter how you slice it that's bad Wait a minute
This is why it's so important to talk with your partner about boundaries.
Cheating is not black and white, and just because you think it's cheating doesn't mean your partner does.
You have to communicate and come to an agreement about what's okay and what ain't.
Cheating is absolutely black and white. Your care for if your partner does it or not/to what extent depends on if you love them. If you're fine with any level of cheating, you don't love them and it's a you problem
@@KCville6324well some Arab guys would consider cheating not wearing a black hijab outside and working in a company with other men. So it’s totally not black and white.
@@NastasyashantiMuslim* people don't, technically, marry for love, generally, and the men are allowed up to 4 wives, at a time, but the women are not allowed more than 1 husband.. so, being more like a breeder business than a monogamous couple, that can't count.
@@KCville6324 If you think love is the same as jealousy and possessiveness, that's definitely a YOU problem. All couples have different boundaries, and very happy non-monogamous couples exist, just as very miserable strictly monogamous ones do.
Dated a woman who thought I was the asshole when she told me she's "going out with her friends to a dance club" and I got upset. She said "What? You can go to a bar with your guy friends if you want to." Months later it was confirmed she was cheating on me.
Always trust your instincts.
Clubbing is a single persons life. Always be aware.
My ex forbid me from going with her to the nightclub if her friends were going, she would then book her friends in weeks in advance, essentially locking me out of spending weekends with her. Guessed she was doing shit she didn't want me to see.
I'm sorry that happened to you. Cheating is absolutely horrible and it absolutely shatters someone's trust, and that sticks with you. I hope you're doing well, and remember you are worth more than what she treated you as.
@@masantahelperkiller7797 - thank you that's very sweet of you to say. Some days are better than others but I still have trust issue from long before she showed up.
@@jontnoneya3404 I can get that, trust is something incredibly hard to build up. Especially if you had a hard time prior due to past things and then something like that happens. I really hope you can gain the strength to trust again, it honestly takes so much to do and have. Take it one day at a time 😊
Ive said this for many years and I'm consistently flummoxed when somebody tries to justify their disagreements...
This is true. Cheating is emotional intimacy too. You can be friends. No flirting, no stexting, no erp ing.. if you want those things.. why are you not single. Don't be exclusive if you really don't want to be exclusive. Communication is required in a healthy relationship.
Although I agree that there are degrees of cheating and that flirting is cheating, I don't think that just having a fun conversation with somebody who happens to be attractive is cheating.
Thank u dude I was literally about to say that
Gotta read between the lines, why was one of the first things about him was that he's hot? Yea people can notice beauty without some ulterior motive but doing single people activity while talking to a guy doesn't invite good feelings
@@samuraitadpole5459 okay fair point
And then where do you draw the line? You’re fine with me speaking to your girl and telling her she has beautiful lips while we dance salsa? Just an innocent fun night out?
@@dlyras knowing some men of today, he wouldn't complain if you left your hand on her backside and talked to him eye to eye.
If I care enough about a girl to be in relationship with her. I would never disrespect her by flirting with women at a bar. Nor would I tolerate it.
Truth
Well my girl encourages it. I don't think you know what respect means I respect my wife enough not to think my jealousy should Rob experiences from her. Where do you think jealousy is something to be proud of instead of being ashamed of
@@darkeen42 rob what experiences ? Her sexual attraction and fusies emotionally connected to another man completely
@@Bic-daxc69 Yes those experiences exactly. Human connection is the most fulfilling thing human can do
@@darkeen42 human connection is not the same as being intimately connected to another guy who you find sexually attractive which is one step away from sleeping with them mind you probably already lusted after them
I also love the acting capabilities of the "immature/irrational/selfish" version, the body language is *perfect*
All relationships should be built on mutual trust and respect, if you can't represent this, it's time for you to break up and find someone who can help you represent it
If not cheating, definitely on the right path to cheating
If your mad and think of killing someone your a killer? No your not maybe a bad person for thinking it but not a killer in some bads actions you need the action for being guilty not only the thought
@@RubenDeanda-lb9wrI get what ur saying but in this case she had a full on flirty convo with the dude so it would be like actually prepping for the murder and not what doing, even if you don’t do it yet it’s still a red flag
@@RubenDeanda-lb9wr if your partner isn't ok with it don't do it, some things that doesn't apply but for the most part you chose the partner so accept their boundaries
@@RubenDeanda-lb9wr basically you're willing to take the chance of being around someone whos seriously thought about killing you lol
@@RubenDeanda-lb9wr Getting emotional gratification and sexually stimulated by deliberately engaging in endeavors outside of what is appropriate and responsible is... cheating.
Women always have several backup options in case their primary sucker stops paying out.
Why does it take so long for a man woman to commit to each other? I also wonder why Billie is not married yet? Maybe she is but I see her referring to her partner as her boyfriend not husband.
Also in this scenario it seems that the onus is on the man so I should actually phrase the question or my comment that men should commit to a woman faster why leave them in the uncertainty loop?
@@roberth835 if you want a taste of uncertainty, try being a married man
@@roberth835why commit to someone who has not demonstrated the ability to respect the relationship?
@@roberth835 Why do you see involving the state in your love life as the only sign of commitment? Commitment is as a mindset and a pattern of behaviours, not a marriage certificate. You obviously missed the part in the video where the guy she was flirting with is married.
Problem is?
THIS conversation would NEVER transpire...
Just the opposite...
85 times out of 100..
VERY WISELY SAID, THIS NEEDS TO GO VIRAL!!!!!!!
Flirting leads to cheating. You open yourself up emotionally. If youre in a relationship, shut that down before it starts so you dont disrespect your spouse.
As a guy, I don't control who my significant other is allowed to associate with or talk to. BUT I also make sure that we both have and understand boundaries.
Men and women should be able to interact without flirting.
Nice fairytale 😂
@@TheAniki94 get a job
That's not realistic. For the men out there you shouldn't be spending time with someone else's women alone. If you stop in and your friend isn't there don't go inside alone with his wife/spouse. You may not even intend on doing anything but you shouldn't be putting yourself in a position that could become complicated such as an emotional connection
Some are. That's not what this video is about. This is about the people who do it for fun and validation.
@@kevincarlos973 I wouldn’t even say some. Very few are not at least subconsciously attracted to the other.
The idea is that much of love is chemical and out of your control if you expose yourself to it. Much like if you carried a piece of iron in your pocket bumping it around and rubbing against magnets.
Eventually someone is going to stick. That’s why if you want a relationship to work out and you want to avoid “accidents”, or tough emotional moments of vulnerability it’s best to set boundaries with other people.
Your female best friend from childhood shouldn’t be cuddling up on the couch with you at 25 years old watching a movie alone. Going out on private dates alone.
For men, if you stop by your friends house and only his wife is home don’t go inside whether she invites you in or not.
Respect their relationship, respect him, and don’t put anyone in any positions of complicated emotion.
You can say men and women should be friends and that some cases work out but in general it’s not going to and it’s not a smart idea if you value the relationship or respect your partner and their time.
Depends on the relationship. It's worth having a discussion about what would make your partner uncomfortable and would classify as cheating to them. That line very much varies from person to person.
Why is she even at a bar without her boyfriend?
They say they just want to hang out with their friends and have some drinks and laughs, but they're also looking for strange.
Especially now that people are talking about emotional cheating
What is emotional cheating?
@coregazer Not exactly how it seems to be defined. Emotional cheating is when someone in a relationship shares vulnerable moments, or information about intamate / personal relationship details, or emotional feelings that they do not want to share with their partner with someone else. Sure they could be a viable alternative partner, but that isn't a prerequisite, it is more about removing an emotional element from the relationship and having that aspect or need met by a third party, without any sexual or relationship intent. (But yes, there could be in some case but then it's just cheating cheating)
@@Now_Time_For_Science thank you for the more extensive explanation.
It makes sense, so no "work wifes" or "work husbands".
It can also mentally and emotionally hurt your partner who is in love with you, to show parts of your body to others and been seen by them, (it’s why having your partner dress right in public is so important, and why men don’t want their woman naked on the internet either) and talking to anyone and giving them your attention in general, (which is kind’ve impossible to avoid in most cases) not just laughing and engaging in sexual flirtation and romantic expressions with someone too.
@Jdabomb93 Yeah, this creator actually covered that not to long ago, the dressed up as if you are single or in a way deliberately provocative when you are going out on a girls night or to a work do without your partner. That kinda thing.
Someone who allows their dedication to wander has already committed adultery in their heart
The "eye roll" at the end translates as "I know you're right, but I won't admit it."
Apparently you've never encountered eye rolls before. It's pretty much the opposite of what they mean. With that handful of straws you'd make a mighty fine first little pig
Another thing people will do is they like to flirt, or let somebody hit on them to make their partner jealous. That backfires a lot, they will turn off their partner rather than make them jealous. Nobody wants to marry a flirt, the flirty just look dirty.
Flirting is the seed of lust.
To quote Dr. Laura Schlessinger, "If he didn't put it in her it wasn't cheating."
💯 correct, cheating is not just physical interaction!
The last overgrown girl (not giving her the honor of calling her "woman" as that implies a degree of maturity beyond that of a child) to leave me justified it by telling me that "I wouldn't want to cheat on you."
They were engaged before the end of that month.
So true. And I get so annoyed with this trend of people trolling girls that say "Sorry, I have a boyfriend" when guys try to approach them. I mean how would u want your girl to react when strange guys hit on her when you are not around??
Exactly. If a girl is happy and loyal, there's no reason to invite a flirty guy to sit. Everybody knows he's not trying to make a new friend, he wants to bang her. He can move along.
Exactly, flip the scenario and see how she would react to it
I would be completly ok
The eye roll at the end is exactly how most people would react if they were told the same thing.
That's women accountability for you right here.
It's important in a committed relationship that you agree on what you both consider cheating. There's actually plenty of people that are fine with their partners flirting like this. I've certainly hit on some girls that were in a relationship, BF shows up. You check what's up, give him a compliment about his GF being a catch and wish them a nice day/evening.
Definitely. No one is alike. But it's very important to know whether or not the person you are talking to, flirting with, etc. Is taken or not. I have found girls I like only to find out they are taken. I have found married women attractive. There was one woman I saw at a party but didn't talk to. The next day in the audience at a beauty pageant she already knew who I was and talked to me, introducing herself. As soon as I talked to her I told her, "you're beautiful! You have a nice figure!" She told me, "thAnk you" and she introduced me to her daughter. I said the same thing because I also thought she was beautiful and had a nice figure. She introduced me to her husband and I asked him if he minded me complimenting his wife and daughter. He said, "she's yours!" That made me feel better about me running my mouth. He even was willing to take a picture of me, his wife and his daughter! Very nice people, but still there was a part of me that felt I needed to talk to my pastor. He said that me finding her attractive wasn't wrong, just don't take it further. Yeah definitely be careful with anyone. Definitely know whether or not someone is in a relationship. Everyone is different.
@@JSharpe427this scenario is fine. Why does it have to be rocket science all of a sudden
@@pablobuquet2534 nice to know my scenario is fine. I never said anything about rocket science or it taking rocket science to figure out.
@@JSharpe427 you didnt, but the short and OP did
@@pablobuquet2534 ok
Women NEED to learn this 😊
Cheating starts with the interaction
I love how Plato's way of philosophising has basically become the number one way to proselytize online.
In the end, the emotional part is both the most important and the hardest part. Plus, it affects the physical part.
I like the eye roll at the end every time.
You have to make sure we understand that you defeated yourself.
Women in a nutshell: “Rules for thee, and none for me!”
Girl’s night isn’t allowed. I don’t have to go everywhere my wife goes. But, if I am not invited, she is not invited. It works the other way, too. I don’t run off with the guys. My wife is always welcome to spend the evening with me wherever I go.
And I'm not sure you should be married. Do you really not trust your wife that much does she really not trust you?
Interesting…. Kinda glad I’m single then
My wife's therapist told her it's not cheating as long as she tells me about it, but it was cheating.
Found my ex in the arms of a guy, smiling, and to this day she claims it's not cheating lol
Do yourself a favour and leave now. Been there, done that. Just because you saw it once, doesn’t mean it only happened once. And if she doesn’t see anything wrong with that, it only proves the lack of respect she has for you. She is likely to do it again (and worse) so leave. Don’t waste your time.
I agree it's not cheating me and my sister-in-law have that kind of relationship. We hug and cuddle and my wife is okay with it just like I'm okay with her dancing with people out. But really whether it's cheating or not depends on your opinion. But I always thought that love means you want the best for the person that you love not that you let your jealousy restrict and restrain their lives
@@darkeen42kinda where I'm at lately,
iv literally heard of straight dudes get jealous of gay men talking to their girl like..... If you're jealous of a gay guy taking your girl I'm afraid you have bigger issues man 😅
@@Elfking94 yeah I agree I bet most of that is not trusting them to be actually gay.
@@darkeen42 Couples set their own boundaries for cheating. I'd be ok with my girl dancing with other guys. But if they start bumping and grinding and laying their hands all over, that's a big no for me
Agreed, HOWEVER. There is no such thing as "implicit boundaries." That's why it's so crucial to have a clear conversation about what you and your partner are or aren't comfortable with. Something that is obviously not cheating for one person might mean a complete betrayal for another, so don't just assume what your partner needs or expects. Boundaries should be defined, explicitly (and hopefully early on) by both parties
That is why tradition matters, implicit things become a thing.
Or does tradition just put us in a one size fits none box? As someone who is not traditional I agree with needing to talk it out. I'm a very friendly person the situation in the video wouldn't make me uncomfortable at all. I've had that situation multiple times with partners in the room on both sides. For me cheating happens at deceit. I've even encouraged partners to flirt and wingmanned for them. Traditional doesn't work for me. As long as all parties are consenting adults and no boundaries have been broken it's fun. But not everyone feels that way. Hence the need for a conversation.
I think you hit your stride with the whole, ID vs. SuperEgo thing. Very entertaining and spot-on…
I agree. Theres no such thing as "harmless flirting." The point of flirting is to let someone know you're interested in them, which is good if you're available.
I can almost guarantee that if the man did the same thing, she would feel like she was cheated on and betrayed as well.
As a woman, I wouldn't
@@user-pm1kf9ko4vsame. I would ask if he got their contact info as we could have couple friends.
@@user-pm1kf9ko4vexceptions don't prove the rule incorrect 💯
Not a single one of my girlfriends or any of the girlfriends I have ever seen other dudes with would EVER be okay with a dude openly bragging about flirting with a hot girl at the bar while his girlfriend was at home.
Every single one of them would have turned it into a tornado of feelings.
Nice try, though 💪🏻
@@JuanAppleseed-ge6tb they do
It's like saying that periodic funtions are continuous. One exception is enough to disprove this statement.
@@user-pm1kf9ko4v I'm not talking about periodic functions.
I'm talking about woman being jealousy-filled creatures with double standards.
Your statement didn't prove that wrong.
Try a third time ♥️
Yep you hit this on the nose. My wife (of 20 years) had a few emotional affairs with guys online. We eventually divorced because that was a prelude to more disrespect. I remarried to a wonderful woman who doesn't cheat or disrespect me.
Good for you, insecure people with insecure people
@@user-pm1kf9ko4v he clearly said worse things happened how is he insecure you donut 😑
@@Bic-daxc69 worse than what?
@@user-pm1kf9ko4v emotional cheating
She forgot to accuse you of shaming her and go on a rant about judgemental people
This video is absolutely on point. I wish everyone saw it
"It just happened"
"it was an accident"
You said it at the end, if you do something you know they would be uncomfortable with.
That line is different for everyone, they might be okay with flirting, they might not be okay with talking to co-workers outside of work.
Key issue is tslk to your partner about their and your boundaries.
There’s no such thing as “innocent flirting”
Went through this exact scenario with a girl that I had been dating for about a year.
She watched it and completely freaked out, screaming at me, calling me a cheater, and many other flowery words. When her rant subsided, I
Her face turned white as a sheet; she started screaming demanding to know who had filmed her. I said it didn’t matter. And then I sent her a video with myself and the friend who helped me waving and saying goodbye to her. Saying that I filmed this with the help of a friend so I could show her what a steaming pile of diseased hypocrisy she was and that I was breaking up with her!
Send this to her not me, I go to work and stay home and communicate with absolutely no one.
True. Flirting is emotional cheating.
Cheating is breaking the rules of the relationship correct so maybe allow people in the relationship to determine their own rules don't insist you get a determine them for them
THIS.
I was annoyed at my ex for flirting with a guy she liked, yet I offered a female colleague a lift home from work and she said that it was “cheating” and immaturely posted on her story about it.
One of the roles my grandad lived by during his 63yr marriage was, conduct yourself as though your partner is by your side all the time. If you would do it in front of them, don’t do it when they aren’t there.
She's suprisingly good at acting this
Whats your favorite hat
@@steen275 That would have to be the soldier’s stash, yours?
P R E C I S E L Y. Hard and real truth. Nailed this one, Billie.
Genuinely I’ve seen had a conversation like this. The closest I’ve seen is men that make sexual/flirtatious jokes invoking me or towards me while either I am or they are in a relationship, and I tell them to cut it out or ignore them.
I imagine most people when they do something like that know they’re cheating and wouldn’t admit that behavior to people who won’t enable them.
She’s setting up monkey branches while feeding her ego. How cute.
FACTS 💯
Flirting IS cheating. And allow me to expand on this point. Lying is ALSO lying by omission. In other words, if you're in an exclusive, monogamous, committed relationship, here's how to check your moral compass. Just think about putting yourself in your partner's place. Don't say or do anything you wouldn't want them saying or doing without your knowledge. It's simply the "do unto others" rule. And anything that you think you need to hide from your partner, that's a pretty good indicator to avoid doing it. That's your conscience speaking, and it's calling you out for being guilty. Hence "guilty conscience". Hiding things or "just not telling them" IS a form of LYING.
And miss me with these "girls night out" and "just the guys night out" BS. You or your partner have no business doing single people shit WITH your single friends.
And finally, there's no such thing as your "work wife" or "work husband". You either have ONE wife or A husband. Or you don't. Thank you. And that sound you just heard? Was the sound of me just dropping the mic 🤛🏽🎤✋🏽
The bottom line is simple:
don't do anything that you wouldn't want your partner to do either.
In a fresh relationship flirting with other guys / girls can be awkward and trust damaging. However if your relationship is settled it should be totally normal for BOTH to talk to anybody they like.
Flirting has no restrictions on taking to anybody flirting is specific types of conversation usually with some sexual connotations involved not just small talk between different sexes
@@Bic-daxc69Tell that to my last ex. She was jealous when I visited my *sister*.
My point is, it's a matter of definition where flirting begins. Just one example: Is ballroom dance (like tango) flirting or sport? If done well, there's a *hell* of a lot of sexy looks and mimics and body contact involved, but of course it's all for show.
Was looking for this comment, thank you!!
I mean, it doesn't really work like that. My partner and I have different comfort levels - some things he's uncomfortable with, I don't mind, and vice versa. It's about respecting your partner *even if* it's something you wouldn't mind
@@AnotherFishyMuffin As long as you have an agreement that is reciprocal, it doesn't have to be exactly equal. Problems arise when one of you expects more total or restricts more totally than the other one.
100% correct! This is the reason why there is such a thing as an "emotional affair" became a thing.
Whenever I think I should start dating again, I watch your videos and say “nah I’m good.”
Excellent! So true
So many people need to hear this. Intimacy is intimacy and it's to be saved for yourself and someone that respects you and that you respect
You know the rest of the world disagrees with you America was founded by Puritans and would you hold tight to those unhealthy values. In my opinion if you love somebody you want them to have the best most fulfilling life they possibly can you don't let your jealousy restrict and restrain them like they're your property Love is not possessive Love should be freeing. You should love your spouse not possess them
@@darkeen42 so would you let your spouse sleep with another man or kiss another man because she considers it fulfilling ?
@@Bic-daxc69 honestly yes I would and have. Now of course there are limitations and I don't suggest that for everybody. And it's gone the other way. My ex visited us from Louisiana for a week and we had a really good time. And then during COVID My wife spent most of COVID out of state with her families since her job was gone figured she might as well go enjoy her family. And that. While she was gone that same ex was running away from an abusive relationship. And while it did not happen this way my wife was very insistent that she come move in her kids with me at my house. And of course my house isn't big so the sleeping arrangements would have put her in my bed and my wife was encouraging of that. And it didn't happen but boy that really meant the world to me.
@@Bic-daxc69 so yeah over my life I have had five separate threesomes with girls. Not being a jealous punk as it's benefits. All of them with long trim relationships and even the other girls I am still close friends with.
@@darkeen42 sleeping in the same bed isn't what I meant I meant having sex with them but anyway that isn't the point boundaries are different for many people and going around not respecting boundaries is a problem if you are acting just like you would with everybody else that you are with your partner then their is no point in getting married in the first place
This reminds me when I was a dj in a bar and a girl came up to me and asked if I could have a dance with her. The first words out of my mouth was I can't I'm married.
And even if nothing physical happened, that behavior cultivates a pattern that I guarantee will end in physical infidelity. If you see no problem with a fun conversation at a bar with a hot guy, soon you won’t see anything wrong with some “harmless flirting.” And so on.
Should have ended it with "you just sound insecure" 😂
But that's exactly what they sound like. Why do you people confuse love with possession? If you love somebody you want the most fulfilling life for them not to restrict joy because you're jealousy bothers you if that's the case you should stay alone and not hold people down
@@darkeen42 so you think a girl who is supposed to be committed to you should be able to go out and flirt with other guys on nights out?? What if she wanted to fuck them should you say that's fine because because you want her to feel "fulfilled"?? Pun intended. How is she meant to respect you when you don't respect yourself enough to put boundaries on your relationship. Simpy behaviour there. 🤡🌎
Oh, those whamen use words without knowing, understanding their real meaning - it´s like buzz-words for them, parroting it, because the heard it somewhere :-D
@@darkeen42yeah sure, if you love someone be in an open relationship, dont restric her. Lmao what a joke. Get some respect.
@@kauetadaieski3131 no you still respect the hell out of her you just follow her rules.. I don't care about your rules why would I. She likes girl too your jealousy robs you both
This girl has my respect
for pointing out basic huamn standards that most people live by? and anyone who doesnt follow these standards isnt going to just magically be like yeah shes right? this is what gets respect nowadays
@@kyekruchoski1457 yeah go cry about only and only your standards going down somewhere else. And what do you think ; treating everyone and being treated by everyone like shit and pretending to adapt a fake personality should be getting respect. Now I understand why your standards are too low
This is what needed to hear now a days people don’t get that physical isn’t only cause of cheating it’s the end
Flirting and other things is what where cheating starts
"You never let me have any fun."
Woo! Thank you, miss! I appreciate your videos. That behavior is what lead to my divorce.
Typical…
This is how my wife ended up single.
thank you for exposing people to the ideas because it's obvious that lots of people are not familiar with the concepts you share.
This woman gets it and is spitting facts.
Never let your girl go out to a bar or club or even vacation without you. Her friends are ALWAYS your worst enemy. Put your foot down and lay the law
Let her go, if she's so interested in the single life you can't stop her plus why would you want a partner that would knowingly cross your boundary? Establish you don't want her going out when it's official then you can't be blamed for leaving her for flirting with others
Friends can have a habit of negatively influencing a relationship
@@JSharpe427 Most if the time actually. It just depends whether its a good influence or bad.
@@shieldwolf65 that's true. Not all friends are bad. I couldn't tell my girl if I had one never to have friends
Finally a real women with morals and respect!!!
i wish i had known this a lot sooner, my old friends had this same mindset where they wouldnt call it cheating even if i were to mention it to them. But because i didnt know of that, i broke my girlfriends heart. I am eternally grateful for her willingness to trust me again even after i shattered her heart. I am constantly working to improve myself and make up for my past mistakes, i wish i had known these things sooner.