@@emilyrose8696 Being by oneself is a mixed bag of emotions. On one hand you can make more decisions by yourself than you can when you are with people. But every now and then you are at a nice restaurant and you would like someone to eat with you. But being alone is better than being with the wrong one.
True. That said... part of a relationship is about learning what the other person cares about and offering (not faking) that. While most guys are going to appreciate her caring what she looks like, some guys will bucket basically every form of "she cares what she looks like" as the same thing and not care much if at all above a given threshold. For me, respect, trust and showing an appreciation for and desire to relate to me me will get a lot more of my attention than a nicer dress. There are more than a few interactions I've had with people where I got a lot out of the interaction and couldn't have told you what they looked like to save my life... but that's just me. I guess my tl;dr; is that par of the early stages of dating should be each side trying to figure out what the other side wants from the relationship and considering if that's something you are willing to offer. Nothing wrong with a guy who likes her to dress up pretty when she's a girl who shows appreciation for him by doing that. OTOH if he's literally blind, her dressing up is kinda pointless to the relationship unless her showing off to other people is something they both value.
You are absolutely right. Kinda hard to just be yourself though when you're told that you have to do a bunch of things you wouldn't normally do because you're "dating". It's better to be honest and say outright that you're putting your best foot forward on the on set, and slowly fall into your default and see what their default is as well. If you are comfortable and compatible after you've both hit your default, then you've got a happy relationship coming, especially if you both understand the differences between you. Men and women, cultural, and personality differences and the knowledge of said differences can make or break a relationship. That's not to mention individual or cultural pathologies. Be careful, and that's advice for both men and women.
My man and I are both chill in joggers at home people, but been so since day one. And I still get to dress up the very rare times I do, without setting a new standard. He knows me too well. If I stopped cooking or something tho... :p
So, your comment actually only supports the girl curling her hair, who told her it is wrong to set up false expectations only to throw them away once she basically has him snared.
@ernestogarcia3193 Seriously??? That reply is what you got from my previous post??? I'm going to give You the benefit of the doubt if, and hope you read my first answer so fast that it's meaning escaped you.
@@ernestogarcia3193 why go to the extreme? you can still do things and do some effort if it makes you feel good too. If it doesnt suit you or you feel is exhausting then better not do it. Simple as that, no need to complicate things
Been married for almost 3 decades. There are WAY more important areas to put effort into than clothes and hair. I'd rather have valuable conversations with my wife than reap the 'reward' of her dressing up for a date. Good relationships are deeper than those things.
Same. Even though i married way out of my league after 13 years seeing her just be comfortable and be her is the most beautiful thing. She doesnt have to impress me. She does in every area that stuff doesn't matter. I'm always blown away when she doea dress up. But my mother spent 3 hours in a mirror every day doing this having to impress everyone going places with my dad. He couldn't have cared less thats an insecurity issue
If she's willing to put in effort in some areas, it indicates a willingness to put in effort in others. But sure, disparaging how others carry themselves in different ways at different points in their relationship probably feels like good advice, Even when it's not actually advice at all. But keep up the whole "you're doing it wrong" shtick...it's a great way to make sure people value your input.
Relationships aren't just about attraction. She says while she is making herself attractive. Looks aren't everything, honey. Stop being a pick me. You will age, then no amount of makeup is going to help you.
Comfortable lounging around the house is fine. Putting an effort in sometimes, whether it's a date, or a date night at home, is really important. It shows you still care.
My thought is "where are we going to dinner?" Ihop? Sweatpants fly. Fancy steak house? Nice dress. Company matters yes, i want to be attracting for my partner. But i aint getting dolled up for red robin. Just like i wouldnt expect my partner to be dressed up for red robin.
Yes, but there is a difference between looking dolled up and looking like you just fell out of bed. For me it is normal to get yourself ready for the day - that means picking out suitable clothing, washing yourself a little/taking a shower, combing hair and making sure no gruby nails. This is NOT and under NO circumstances getting yourself dolled up but much rather the standard or minimum. And if you fail to perfom such simple maintanance of yourself on most days, then that speaks volumes about your emotional/mental state or the values you cary with yourself. And in fact, most people do not want a partner who lets themselves go and can't take care of themselves. I understand the girl in the video got herself all pretty and in a dress, so yes, that is an extreme, but sweatpants and simply some crocs and a hoodie, looking like you'd rather just lounge around all day is also an extreme. There is being a comfy person and prioritizing practicality over aesthetics, which is not wrong and some people prefer this over someone who puts lots of emphasis on their looks. But there are some basic things everybody should do for themselves each day because it is just healthy to do so.
As a man, i personally will never judge you on what you wear, as long as it suits the occasion. I dont mind if you wear sweatpants and a beanie to dinner, unless its like a fancy resturaunt. Im just glad to have someone that i can love regardless of what they are wearing.
Spoken like someone who is going to get used and dumped when someone more interesting comes by. Always seek relationships that give back as much as you put into them. That’s when you know they care about you. It’s not even about the dress or looking attractive. It’s about how much worth they assign to you by their actions.
@@osamabinballin3847 nobody thank god. And I’ve been married for a long time too. Probably because I only dated people who put in the effort. You just sound like you have no self esteem and are happy with any woman even bothering to look your way. And that’s really sad.
Exactly, she's acting like going all dressed up and frying your hair every date is a requirement, like no, no-one goes to a walk in the park and fast food with a dress and full face of makeup everytime. Or like someone who's comfy will go to a fancy restaurant in sweats. And assuming that the first date was fancy, should her boyfriend always have to spend hundreds or is that standard just for her?
@@ariescorner7655You really don't get men, do you? 🤔 It's not WE who wants you to get dolled up; we want simple, unconplicated, casual, not someone who will get upset if you touch them because it will mess up their har or makeup
Yet there's still constantly memes about how men don't "dress up like they used to", or vice versa. The difference is women will continuously b**** about their men not doing exactly what they want. But when it's the other way around, women get offended. I've been married for almost 20 years and I don't want a fat lazy husband, nor does he want a fat lazy wife.
@dr.g6105 HA The majority of men I've ever known Take Zero " accountability". If ur with Narcissistic people male or female they refuse to take accountability.. not everyone Woman is one That's for sure .. It's a plague in men tho. Ur Allegic comment doesn't hold up
It's kind of hilarious, because they have enough self awareness to know what attracts a man. But they can't put their ego down enough to do it themselves.
@@LittleGreyWolfForgewhen a girl is called a pick me she’s clearly being made fun of for being a pushover that’ll do or say anything for random male approval. Women have a much easier time getting picked than men do.
If I was in a relationship, what would be dressing up for me, if my everyday-wear is a button up, Chelsea boots and a leather jacket...? I probably could wear those as an engineering student, right? Maybe standing out from the crowd is even necessary for me to get friends more easily...
While I agree with your initial statement I think it misses the point of the video. You and her need to show each other effort and care which conveys love and respect. Like if yall going on a planned double date you put effort and care into the place, activity and setting aside time and attention. While she probably looks great in that hoodie and sweats what would dressing up and a show of anticipation do? She’s be meeting you half way and while you know she looks great comfortable she looks even greater dressed up and perfect when you know she did it for you.
@@zachfox5969it depends on circumstance. If you’re going out to eat, walk in the park, walk in the city, and you don’t care for dressing up then that’s fine. But if you’re going to a fancy restaurant or to visit friends at their home or to family and you’re dressing up like that, the circumstances call to dress decently. In that case you should care because both of you are showing respect to those who invited you or to the establishment you’re going to.
@@zachfox5969In this case it sounds like you need to be the one to dress decently in a circumstance someone has invited you out in public to a fancier restaurant or event. This shows your social awareness is lacking.
She clearly said that Ryan doesn't care if she dresses in clothes that are comfortable and allow for having a better time. This dressing up thing goes too far sometimes and becomes a bit ridiculous. I actually like a woman that has the look of the woman in the hat, and I'd want my date to be comfortable on a date so that she can actually enjoy it instead of worrying about always "looking good"
You can still be comfortable and look good. Also that’s not the point. It’s an effort thing. The girl wants an Easy relationship when no relationships are. This mindset means nothing when it comes to small things because it doesn’t matter. The issue is her lack of effort when it comes to keeping the relationship. This is what the skit portrays and not that “dressing up is important.”
I am in a 15 years old relationship. When I told my boyfriend 3 years ago I wanted to start wearing make up on a daily basis, he looked at me like if I was crazy. I put my efforts in the relationship, not in the way I look.
I think here it’s a matter of how the woman views her level of commitment; both have valid arguments, but let’s look at overall mentality. Dress-up girl strikes me as the sort who is taught that putting an effort into your appearance reflects on how you value the individual(s) you’re spending time with. I’m VERY laid back, but my mom is of the mentality that you make yourself look good to show others what they mean to you. ‘I put an effort into my appearance because I value the time spent with you’.
Personally, after getting comfortable in a relationship, I never cared about things like this. As long as we're both dressed appropriately for the venue, rock on. Be comfortable in all things, as long as you're taking care of your health. The only caveat was if the attitude wasn't reciprocal, that was a red flag. Not that it meant there was something wrong with my partner, just that we weren't compatible.
@@baylorsailor No where in this entire video was it ever implied or stated that it was a 'special dinner'. You completely made that up lol. It says there going out to dinner in 10 minutes. She never said what the occasion was for, or where the dinner was being eaten. It could be an Applebee's for all we know.. because it was never stated.
I guess speaking more in terms of the spirit of the video, we're talking more about the double standard of effort. Do I still open the car door for my wife just because we left the house? No, and she doesn't expect me to. Do I still open doors and treat her like a princess on a nice date? Yes, because I want her to know she's still just as special to me now as on the date I proposed. Does she go all-out with her makeup and a nice dress every time we go to Applebee's? No, and I'd tell her to go put on something more comfortable if she did. Does she squeeze me tight and tell me how lucky she is when I bring home a "just because" gift? Yep, and it makes me feel good that after 20 years, I can still make her giggle like when we were 19 and in college. And that is what my original comment was about. As long as we're showing appreciation for each other and not putting in over-the-top effort when unnecessary after so long together, I'm happy.
Effort is key!! I still dress up for him, still bake him random cookies, still do the happy little jig when I see him. He still twirls me like a princess, switches sides so I’m away from the road, and opens doors for me. It’s the little effort that really shines through over the years. Also make sure you still hold hands, it’s amazing how much just that little act does.
Those aren't mutually exclusive. You can put effort into both. Part of my self-improvement journey is to get into better shape to feel better about myself and improve my odds of attracting women. I don't intend to stop once I get into a relationship. I intend to maintain a good lifestyle. I know it's not popular to say, but it is true that attraction matter. People don't say, "I'm not attracted to my spouse, but I'm completely satisfied with our relationship anyway."
@@jacobsamuelson3181 That's not what mutually exclusive means. You are not required to choose one of the other. You can absolutely do both. Some people may choose to only do one, but it is not required.
For me it’s not about what clothes we wear. It’s more about if the other person is healthy and appears healthy, mentally, physically and spiritually. I don’t care what she wears because wearing fancy clothes or dresses honestly screams attention seeking. Just wear what you are comfortable in because I wanna be comfortable with you, makes sense to me.
Yeah, women seems to think we want them "dolled up" all the time; we don't! We want women that are comfortable and can be casual, and just be in the moment... Of the two in the clip, I'd go for the casual one, easily!
@@SgtMclupusnope, you make the same mistake that the CZcamsr and many of the people here make: making blanket statements. Saying things like “this is what we want” is just a blatantly false statement because we aren’t a monolith, the guy below you even proves that. I’m not trying to get on your ass about it, but we can’t speak for all guys and that’s ok.
Yeah...only that “that's not the same” is totally correct. Making sure your significant other gets home safe and dressing up for each other are on a completely different level
Honestly most men neither care nor notice women's appearance. It's a thing women do for themselves. Source: I'm 38, happily married. I've been in a few longer relationships in my life. Unless a guy specifically tells you "I find it super hot when you wear XYZ that you had on that day", which is information that you want to make a note of, most of the time they don't notice. So relax and only dress up if it's something you enjoy.
I was looking for this comment, I like to dress casually and I like women that dress casually. 5 star restaurant or not, but that’s my preference and expectation so the message in the video still stands
@@declanmcsherry9368 what u dont understand, is that when u dress casually when the time is not casual they dont let you in😂 its not an option, they have a dress code brav. Thats silly as it is, u want to live your life dressing sloppy and low class👎🏼
Women develop their beliefs from 15-25, when they have all the options and leverage. When those huge lopsided advantages go away, they see it as a huge injustice.
I see it from men all the time. Nice to the girl until she agrees to date him. Then he loses the thrill of chasing and finds other girls to cheat with.
@@legiontepes3474 Reality always hurts. And it's funny how she brings up having a job and holding the door open. These are things a man who isn't in a relationship will still be doing. Like she couldn't even bring up a relationship-specific task? It shows how little men are doing in their actual relationship and marriage.
Relationships aren't easy. Relationships are very hard. However, both putting and wanting the other person to put a ton of effort on their looks above how they are when just by themselves is immature and can lead to resentment long term, ruining a relationship more than it would help.
I don't mind looking good for myself and my hubsand. We don't mind going beyond for each other within our marriage. My mom and dad went beyond for each other through their marriage and they're still together, they had me and my sister. Both genders have to work together if they want to make a relationship and marriage works. My sister and her husband does the same thing for each other and they're happy. I cut off angry and bitter friends that would tell me that I sound like a "pick me" nonsense. Thank you Billie.
@@Zrizzy7right he already picked you. You out in effort because you care, not to “pick me.” If it’s someone you don’t know and u act fake to impress someone, that “pick me.” Putting in work because you love someone? Thats a healthy relationship.
@@DavidZ4-gg3dm handsome and charming to one woman may be mid/creepy to another. Athletic? Most men aren’t all of these things especially athletic but still get girls. Now if you want a woman who is all these things, thats a different story. (Replace handsome for beautiful etc).
Me and my husband make sure that we hold each other accountable by working out so we can say fit and active. I'm pregnant with our newborn child on the way but I'm still gonna workout, we love our bike ride adventure and lakefront dates. I did push up challenges with my family and I beat them sometimes. I love my fun bonding and relationship with them.
Sorry, but I'm a bit confused. English is not my first language. "I'm pregnant with our newborn child on the way"? Are you pregnant or have you given birth?
She's dressed perfectly fine. But she shouldn't change her attitude of how to please her man between dates. Present yourself how you are. If you like casual wear more and there's no formality requirement, show that whichever date you're going on.
I get the first date because she may not have known him well and wanted to just be formal but if they both agree that casual is perfectly fine then theirs no rush to dress up formally every time.
What? This makes no sense. There are some instances i like to "dress up" and look extra fancy...depending on the place, time, mood am in, occasion etc...and other times i like to be super casual (by casual i don't mean just rolling out of bed). Actually same goes for my husband. Most times he will dress very casual but then sometimes he catches me more dressed up and will laugh and go change into something (slightly lol) dressier too. Like "oohhh you're in a dress and makeup, i should probably change out of my shorts for some nice jeans" haha. Once you are in a steady relationship it means you should be comfortable enough to be however you want to be with each other. It's weird that just because you dressed a certain way for one date, you should keep doing it for all dates! Like imagine your husband takes you to a fancy restaurant for one date, does it mean he needs to always take you only to fancy restaurants?
@@minervarose7664 I meant that you should dress how you feel like dressing. There shouldn't be an expectation on you to dress up just because you are going on a date, unless where you are going on a date has that specific required dress code. And it should not be expected whatever date number it is.
In many ways, they do. Yes this is targeted for adults but who says that teenagers can’t learn front this too? If anything, it can help them more cuz of how young they are and if they get these lessons sooner, it’ll be better for them in the long run. Point is, this lady is helping everyone. It’s all about you accepting the help or not.
@@TheLuconicyes but majority of adults won’t listen to this kinda content cause they’ve already formed their own opinions. Being taught this stuff early will atleast introduce them to a new view point and possibly even make sure they have a happy successful relationship in the future
Fears the lord needs explanation. In my Catechism class, it would be followed by “what does this mean?”, with many examples. In this case it would not be about hiding in a corner fearing wrath, but many examples about making the most out of what she and her future husband have, putting in maximum effort to ensure a good outcome, and being smart about it at every turn. Not being slothful, fearing the RUINS her family’s life would be in if she did.
Fear the Lord is referring to respecting the Lord. It's not fear how we take today. Although we should understand the Lords' power and fear 😨 that too. Hope that helps!
@@darnellb1985 It really doesn't. Fear the Lord doesn't communicate today. WE need to use the current language to communicate our feelings thoughts beliefs. Not speaking ye olde kings English, and expecting others to perform an unfamiliar translation they have no expertise to do. Christians who say "Fear the lord" FREQUENTLY mean "Fear ME, I am God's hand." Yes I grew up in that household, among those people. So you really do have to say what you really mean.
@@danjohnson6800 I was a Bible major and according to The New Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible and specifically for Proverbs 31, the word fear means, "to fear; mor. to revere; caus. to fighten: - affrigh, be (make) afraid, dread (-full), (put in) fear (-ful, -fully, -ing), (be had in) reverence (-end), x see, terrible (act, -Ness, thing). Therefore both fear as we know it and reverence (respect) IS actually correct from the Hebrew language!
@@darnellb1985wouldn’t be better to say respect the lord because fear may cause respect but not always and respect doesn’t have to come of fear. It feels strange to try to combine those two only partially related things and expect everyone to understand it.
I've experienced this as a man. I was a philosophy major in college, I met a girl in one of my classes during my junior year. We sat next to each other and for the first week or two she would get dressed up; nice dress, heels, a touch of makeup, nice hair, handbag, she put in effort because she wanted my attention. One day I asked her out on a date and she said yes, I was going to walk her to the library where we'd have lunch and study together, she never showed up. Later on she stopped putting in any effort, she'd show up to class wearing just leggings, a bra, and an open jacket, I thought it was a very weird and indecent way for her to dress. She also stopped putting on makeup, she didn't take care of her hygiene anymore she had loads of acne around her mouth, and I also found out she had a nose ring and a tattoo. It got to the point where she didn't want to engage with me as a partner anymore, she wanted to use me as a human filing cabinet for philosophy notes so she could stay up partying with her friends on school nights. When it came time for the final exam in our class I was one of the first people to finish, and as I got up from my chair I could see that she was still stuck on the first page with a distraught look on her face. She probably failed that exam and it was her own doing. I take it as a lesson learned. Some girls will put in effort in the beginning to reel a guy in, but once they've gotten what they want they see no need to continue the effort. Good girls remain loyal to their man because they care about him and the relationship that they share, it's about dignity.
Sorry to hear that. A lot of women are undatable and not really fit for marriage. Sure to an extent I want a woman to be herself but I don't want her to use and take advantage of me until I stop being useful in her eyes. One reason I am single is because I am afraid of what certain women would do with or to me.
I mean... I had a really bad relationship with my ex but it was just because neither of us were ready for an actual functional relationship, I'm now with another girl and it is the best thing ever. There are good ones out there, there absolutely are, it just feels absolutely impossible to find until you find the right one
@@wise_guy4230 what did u do man, save her from the princess castle she was being mentally abvsed in? Saved her from mother gothel? You just opened the door for her, jesus.
@@sage3819 I did actually save her from her violent, manipulative ex, as well as her abusive, alcoholic father. I've also helped her through over a decade of mental, emotional and financial recovery. That's an ongoing process, but I'm proud of her for making progress. I also helped raise her two special needs children to adulthood. The younger of which gets his associate degree next month, alongside his Mother completing her Masters. I also fought for her and did the research and worked out surgery and recovery plans that helped her survive a near death medical crisis that had her in a coma for 3 months, and the physical and emotional recovery afterwards. Just to hit a few high points. And yes, I taught our sons to hold doors for people and show courtesy; taught respect, as well as self-worth. Among many other lessons. Sounds like you've still got some lessons to learn before mouthing off on the internet to people in self-righteous, childish indignation.
@@sage3819 What does she do? Probably just Put on a dress and makeup then insult the guy because he couldn't read her mind about inconsequential things she gets anal about, then bitch to all her friends in the group chat about how awful her man is so they can shit on him as well. If cologne and paying bills is heroic, sounds like you're a perpetual damsel in distress. 🤣
I would say just be yourself. I'm the kind of girl who never wears makeup or dresses up. I do wear "nice" casual clothes (jeans and T-shirts), but I never "put in the extra effort." If I had to start doing that, then I would probably become really unhappy because it doesn't align with who I am. I told my boyfriend this on date one, and he said he doesn't care. We are together now 2,5 and he has never asked me to dress up. He knows not to expect that. And I show that I care for him in other ways
I'm a man and if I'm with a woman I would still continue to take care of my looks and appearances because i like to look clean and not smelling and looking dirty. Relationships isn't just about attraction, it's about putting both genders putting in effort to make each other happy.
I’ve seen several of this persons’ YT Shorts I gotta say she sees the world as it truly is she speaks nothing but facts and now she has my subscription
Even before me and my partner met, neither of us were really putting in effort into our appearance, and that's okay. That's the type of people we are, and we're both happy and comfortable with that. He's definitely started putting less effort in, and i may have a well, I'm not sure, but, we continue to put effort into other things, like supporting each other, helping each other with difficult tasks, talking each other down when we need that strength, acting as a shoulder to cry on, and just generally being the support for one another, as well as being each other's best friend and part of some of the best moments of the last five-and-a-half years. Effort doesn't always have to go into appearance alone. I've never really cared much about looks. But I've always cared about feelings.
I love your content. It's the kind of attention to both sides of the relationship that should be discussed. So many Influencers polarize on the on or the other side. I am thankful for each video you upload.
I'm sort of with hat girl on this one, but it depends where they're going. if it's for a nice meal somewhere posh then sure, we should both dress up a little. But if we're going to Wetherspoons for a relaxing and fun evening down the pub then wear whatever you're already in or what you're comfortable in. It always seems a bit tragic where you're just down the local pub and the women have really dolled themselves up but their men are all scruffy. I know in many working class areas the local pub is the only place couples go so it's the only chance these women get to dress up, but it just looks odd.
She is 100% right. People fall out of love because the things they did during the initial attractions don’t do it anymore. They just become totally different people and then let go.
If it is an "EFFORT", it is NOT SINCERE!! Only be yourself ... your charade can't last forever. ACT LIKE AN ADULT!!! Only promise what you can deliver. Follow through on what you promise. If you run into a problem, immediately inform the other person. 😐😐😐😐
@@HUEHUEUHEPony humans are social creatures even if we don't always feel like it. Babies die without human touch, that need doesn't change as we get older.
That's what men do. Men will love bomb. A woman until they marry her and then quit everything quit the dates quit, the flowers quit the romance completely. My husband's sister told her after one month of being married. He don't have to do that stuff anymore because they're married.... And he was absolutely serious. That's what men do most of the time.. I don't know many women who do that, but men do it all the time..
Both sexes do it, but men probably do it a little more often, probably because we have to. Some women will only date or sleep with a "perfect" man, so guys feel compelled to lie and be fake in order to succeed at dating. Both people need to hold themselves and each other accountable.
@@PyroMiniYak Yeah, expecting equal effort in relationships is absolutely 'pandering to the male ego". Really just proving her point here. Pickme's put in effort and care about their man's opinions, desires and wants. You can't expect the same and call it pandering to ego vice versa.
@@theworstcatholic7247 So the only way a woman can put in effort in her relationship is through her physical appearance? that's a pretty pathetic way of viewing women's worth
@@TKDBoy1889 because it’s always pick and choose. Billie loves pandering to all the things men get mad about. When a woman dresses hot she’s accused of “disrespecting her boyfriend”. When a woman does the opposite she’s accused of “not trying hard enough to look good for her man”. Women can’t win because men will just find something else to get mad about because that’s apparently what they do best now. And Billie capitalizes on that market by changing her tune whenever it suits her narrative of the day. Not to mention she doesn’t even make the attempt to make the conversations she has with herself at least a little realistic. She resembles a person that doesn’t come up with comebacks until long after the debate is over.
She is also the same women who called women who wear makeup fake and that they basically lie to on a daily basis my putting makeup... People still don't get that you are the kind of audience she attracts because she makes a livelihood out of your money....that's why she sells her merge to men 💀💀💀
Most def agree ... something i learned in the army is complacency kills ..its always best to put 100 effort to everything ..even if u come up short at least u tried ...its better than no effort..ive seen this collapse so many relationships
I don't disagree but context does matter. If you and your girl were going on date night and you had reservations at a nice restaurant or something and she showed up in a beanie and sweatpants but you showed up in a noce dress shirt and slacks, don't you think you'd be lookin at her a little sideways?
@@zacharyharwell351 I’d probably be envious of her and want to change my clothes to dress down, myself lol. Also I’d think, why are we at a fancy restaurant? Let’s get out of here and go somewhere more fun. But that’s just me
Okay but some men & women dig the relaxed comfortable look. If you love someone you don’t need them to perform 24/7.. let them be comfortable especially if they’re going through something, you don’t have to dress up all the time to keep a partner and if you do, maybe the bond isn’t as healthy and strong as it should be to last.
Going through this BS currently with my gf. She's stopped doing alot of the things that attracted me to her at the beginning and anytime I bring it up, she tries to flip the script and make it all about herself.
To be fair, physical attraction is the last thing I care about in my partner, and I would expect the same nonchalance from my partner about chivalrous acts. Relationships are more than just these surface level stuff. As long as you take care of your physical health and hygiene, and try not to look ugly, I'm good with whatever physical appearance my partner has
Totally disagree with this take, especially after a relationship gets serious, time should be conserved for more important things that looking nice when going out. I'd much rather a girl be ready in 10 minutes than to take an hour and look like a 10.
There is a difference between a partner reducing the time it takes to get rdy because you both agree that said time is better spent differently, and a partner doing it because he/she no longer feels the need to be attractive to their partner. One is an agreement between adults, the other is a lack of appreaciation.
@@magicalbeatsuk I was reffering to the woman in the video who was absolutely right, but another woman called her a "pick me". But y'all men are so quick to crucify a woman.
Realtionships should feel comfortable. If you like dressing up and find a guy that appreciates it, cool keep doing it. If you prefer to feel comfy and find a guy that likes you that way also cool. Don't fake a thing to get him into you if thats not you. This goes for men too btw.
I actually get both sides. Sure, I’d appreciate the effort being put in to look nice, but I also like the mentality/implication that comes with being comfortable around someone and not stressing about more superficial details. What matters most is two people in a relationship finding a balance that works for them.
They're both right. As a man, if my girl of 7 years wants to wear sweats, that's cool, idc, but if she wants to doll up and be all extra, that's also cool. I'm pretty static in the way I dress and prepare to get ready for dates, so it's ok if she is too. I also believe it has something to do with the type of date. For example, if we're going to someplace super fancy, we dress up more if we're going to a spa, and then we'd wear different clothes, so it's all relative.
That is so accurate the amount of women that just let themselves go when they’re in a relationship and just stop trying is laughable and unfortunately that’s where problems go and people lose attraction to their partner. This can go for men too.
You ever stop to think, that maybe they don’t need to do the things that helped them attract the person they’re with? I personally think if someone maintains their physical appearance, they’re not ready for a longterm commitment. Those that let themselves go actually have. Because they know that youth and beauty fade away over time.
@@13Dixiefried it’s not just about physical appearance it’s about putting effort into the relationship. Like still going on dates, having sex often, communicating, showing love and affection, taking care of themselves in general.
@@13Dixiefried putting effort into appearance: the same reason you clean your room and your car, the same reason you get a car wash and take a shower, it’s about taking care of yourself. I don’t expect a girl to be in high heels and a tiny black dress if we are just lounging in the house, but it’s called taking care of yourself and putting in effort in you and the relationship. Part of the reason I wear Lululemon and David Archy underwear is so she sees some sexy underwear when we are in bed together. Keep the attraction going and never stop dating your partner, and especially if you’re married, have spicy sex often. relationship satisfaction will be higher when you do those things.
I'd say this is a nuanced thing, in some relationships it really doesn't matter, and I'm saying this as someone you dresses up. I prefer to dress up to show my excitement, but some days I don't bother because I don't feel like it. As I see it, a partner shouldn't be mad if you don't want to dress up, but like don't show up to a restaurant date in sweatpants.
She's quite right, relationships long lasting worth keeping relationships are hard work, stressful at times, but it's about teamwork and sharing the load, And having each other's back at the end of the day. A relationship is a team effort after all.
Not really. It's just about not breaking up. They're are couples that have been married decades who hate each other but refuse to get divorced. At the end if the day they're still just as legally married as the couple who loves each other.
@@krn2683 literally my parents lol .. my dad won't leave and my mom doesn't want to make it messy so they're still together till this day but rarely sleep in the same bed
The genius of this channel is that it demonstrates to men examples of how they should communicate potentially emotionally-charged topics to their woman in a sensitive but clear and direct manner.
Be VERY careful with whom you share your emotions and human vulnerabilities!!! Be absolutely certain that person won't weaponize this information and/or share it with the whole world. 😐😐😐😐
I've always said this... for years! That's why I'm done with relationships. My father---God bless him---always told my brother and I, "when you first meet a woman, you don't meet her. You meet her representative." And that is sooo true! Women get all dolled up and look amazing at the beginning. Then, once the woman has hooked you, she let's herself go."
Relationships are NEVER easy. Friendships aren’t easy. Professional relationships aren’t easy. Romantic relationships aren’t easy. Relationships require effort.
Sometimes they are so exhausting I just want to be left alone, but the moment that happens I feel lonely, sad and depressed and absolutely loath it
@@emilyrose8696 Being by oneself is a mixed bag of emotions. On one hand you can make more decisions by yourself than you can when you are with people. But every now and then you are at a nice restaurant and you would like someone to eat with you. But being alone is better than being with the wrong one.
Relationships should be easy in the sense that each person understands their gender role
I have had 2 best friend's since 12 years old. I am 35. They Are very easy. People make them way more complicated than they need to be.
@@james50227 It's not easy. You just feel like it is because you and your friends are good at it.
The key is to never start pretending. Don't put in effort you can't keep longterm, problem solved.
This is such a valid point though.
that is exactly what I do... I dont create false expectations, I am just myself
True. That said... part of a relationship is about learning what the other person cares about and offering (not faking) that.
While most guys are going to appreciate her caring what she looks like, some guys will bucket basically every form of "she cares what she looks like" as the same thing and not care much if at all above a given threshold. For me, respect, trust and showing an appreciation for and desire to relate to me me will get a lot more of my attention than a nicer dress. There are more than a few interactions I've had with people where I got a lot out of the interaction and couldn't have told you what they looked like to save my life... but that's just me.
I guess my tl;dr; is that par of the early stages of dating should be each side trying to figure out what the other side wants from the relationship and considering if that's something you are willing to offer. Nothing wrong with a guy who likes her to dress up pretty when she's a girl who shows appreciation for him by doing that. OTOH if he's literally blind, her dressing up is kinda pointless to the relationship unless her showing off to other people is something they both value.
You are absolutely right. Kinda hard to just be yourself though when you're told that you have to do a bunch of things you wouldn't normally do because you're "dating". It's better to be honest and say outright that you're putting your best foot forward on the on set, and slowly fall into your default and see what their default is as well. If you are comfortable and compatible after you've both hit your default, then you've got a happy relationship coming, especially if you both understand the differences between you. Men and women, cultural, and personality differences and the knowledge of said differences can make or break a relationship. That's not to mention individual or cultural pathologies. Be careful, and that's advice for both men and women.
The problem with this video is, that all that make up IS pretending.
Both of these girls have a point, but sweatpants girl has the better point.
They Both are right...If it ain't you, Show it Early. If it IS You, Maintain It.
And Men Need to do the same.
My man and I are both chill in joggers at home people, but been so since day one. And I still get to dress up the very rare times I do, without setting a new standard. He knows me too well.
If I stopped cooking or something tho... :p
So, your comment actually only supports the girl curling her hair, who told her it is wrong to set up false expectations only to throw them away once she basically has him snared.
@ernestogarcia3193 Seriously??? That reply is what you got from my previous post??? I'm going to give You the benefit of the doubt if, and hope you read my first answer so fast that it's meaning escaped you.
@@Rabbsson726 what did he say wrong.
@@ernestogarcia3193 why go to the extreme? you can still do things and do some effort if it makes you feel good too. If it doesnt suit you or you feel is exhausting then better not do it. Simple as that, no need to complicate things
Been married for almost 3 decades. There are WAY more important areas to put effort into than clothes and hair. I'd rather have valuable conversations with my wife than reap the 'reward' of her dressing up for a date. Good relationships are deeper than those things.
You sound like you are in a sexless marriage
Same. Even though i married way out of my league after 13 years seeing her just be comfortable and be her is the most beautiful thing. She doesnt have to impress me. She does in every area that stuff doesn't matter. I'm always blown away when she doea dress up. But my mother spent 3 hours in a mirror every day doing this having to impress everyone going places with my dad. He couldn't have cared less thats an insecurity issue
Imagine if you could have both. Many women are not only capable of delivering both, but feel appreciative enough to do so.
If she's willing to put in effort in some areas, it indicates a willingness to put in effort in others. But sure, disparaging how others carry themselves in different ways at different points in their relationship probably feels like good advice, Even when it's not actually advice at all. But keep up the whole "you're doing it wrong" shtick...it's a great way to make sure people value your input.
Relationships aren't just about attraction. She says while she is making herself attractive. Looks aren't everything, honey.
Stop being a pick me. You will age, then no amount of makeup is going to help you.
Honestly it's a balance, it's nice when people feel comfortable to be themselves effort doesn't have to be in getting dressed up.
It not about getting dressed it was just an example about not being complacent or else it just going to get harder or go downhill
I feel that. The sweatpants girl looks so cozy and cute.
Yeah, but it is.
Comfortable lounging around the house is fine.
Putting an effort in sometimes, whether it's a date, or a date night at home, is really important. It shows you still care.
@@Lucas_JeffreyIts cute until she stops letting you get touchy feely... 9/10 times its not looking cozy & cute because you like it 😂
My thought is "where are we going to dinner?" Ihop? Sweatpants fly. Fancy steak house? Nice dress. Company matters yes, i want to be attracting for my partner. But i aint getting dolled up for red robin. Just like i wouldnt expect my partner to be dressed up for red robin.
💯
Yes, but there is a difference between looking dolled up and looking like you just fell out of bed. For me it is normal to get yourself ready for the day - that means picking out suitable clothing, washing yourself a little/taking a shower, combing hair and making sure no gruby nails. This is NOT and under NO circumstances getting yourself dolled up but much rather the standard or minimum. And if you fail to perfom such simple maintanance of yourself on most days, then that speaks volumes about your emotional/mental state or the values you cary with yourself. And in fact, most people do not want a partner who lets themselves go and can't take care of themselves.
I understand the girl in the video got herself all pretty and in a dress, so yes, that is an extreme, but sweatpants and simply some crocs and a hoodie, looking like you'd rather just lounge around all day is also an extreme.
There is being a comfy person and prioritizing practicality over aesthetics, which is not wrong and some people prefer this over someone who puts lots of emphasis on their looks. But there are some basic things everybody should do for themselves each day because it is just healthy to do so.
As a man, i personally will never judge you on what you wear, as long as it suits the occasion. I dont mind if you wear sweatpants and a beanie to dinner, unless its like a fancy resturaunt. Im just glad to have someone that i can love regardless of what they are wearing.
Spoken like someone who is going to get used and dumped when someone more interesting comes by. Always seek relationships that give back as much as you put into them. That’s when you know they care about you.
It’s not even about the dress or looking attractive. It’s about how much worth they assign to you by their actions.
@@ariescorner7655 who hurt you?
@@osamabinballin3847 nobody thank god. And I’ve been married for a long time too. Probably because I only dated people who put in the effort. You just sound like you have no self esteem and are happy with any woman even bothering to look your way. And that’s really sad.
Exactly, she's acting like going all dressed up and frying your hair every date is a requirement, like no, no-one goes to a walk in the park and fast food with a dress and full face of makeup everytime. Or like someone who's comfy will go to a fancy restaurant in sweats.
And assuming that the first date was fancy, should her boyfriend always have to spend hundreds or is that standard just for her?
@@ariescorner7655You really don't get men, do you? 🤔
It's not WE who wants you to get dolled up; we want simple, unconplicated, casual, not someone who will get upset if you touch them because it will mess up their har or makeup
Making sure someone is safe and being a financially stable adult are not the same thing as dressing up. 🤨 For any gender.
Yet there's still constantly memes about how men don't "dress up like they used to", or vice versa. The difference is women will continuously b**** about their men not doing exactly what they want. But when it's the other way around, women get offended. I've been married for almost 20 years and I don't want a fat lazy husband, nor does he want a fat lazy wife.
The whole point was about effort. I swear women are just allergic to accountability.
@dr.g6105
HA The majority of men I've ever
known Take Zero " accountability".
If ur with Narcissistic people male or female they refuse to take accountability.. not everyone Woman is one That's for sure ..
It's a plague in men tho. Ur Allegic comment doesn't hold up
@@dr.g6105yeah but her examples of effort are shit. No need to start with the women generalizations
You watched the video and still don't get it. You're exactly like the girl in this video 🤦🤦
It’s amusing how the phrase “pick me” is such a negative term amongst some women.
It's kind of hilarious, because they have enough self awareness to know what attracts a man. But they can't put their ego down enough to do it themselves.
Nah, they do it but attack others to keep them from doing it. Also use it to break up their non-single friends
It’s almost like they want to get picked? Putting effort into getting a good man? Too hard for some of us 😂
My 17 year old son doesn't like pick me's either.
@@LittleGreyWolfForgewhen a girl is called a pick me she’s clearly being made fun of for being a pushover that’ll do or say anything for random male approval. Women have a much easier time getting picked than men do.
If I tell her I like her in anything, I mean it. No makeup, fine. It's if she only dressed up to go out with friends or alone that would bother me.
If I was in a relationship, what would be dressing up for me, if my everyday-wear is a button up, Chelsea boots and a leather jacket...? I probably could wear those as an engineering student, right? Maybe standing out from the crowd is even necessary for me to get friends more easily...
While I agree with your initial statement I think it misses the point of the video. You and her need to show each other effort and care which conveys love and respect. Like if yall going on a planned double date you put effort and care into the place, activity and setting aside time and attention. While she probably looks great in that hoodie and sweats what would dressing up and a show of anticipation do? She’s be meeting you half way and while you know she looks great comfortable she looks even greater dressed up and perfect when you know she did it for you.
@@DelroyNedd0409 Didn't miss the point. It's my personal perspective. She'd say the same thing about me.
@@zachfox5969it depends on circumstance. If you’re going out to eat, walk in the park, walk in the city, and you don’t care for dressing up then that’s fine. But if you’re going to a fancy restaurant or to visit friends at their home or to family and you’re dressing up like that, the circumstances call to dress decently. In that case you should care because both of you are showing respect to those who invited you or to the establishment you’re going to.
@@zachfox5969In this case it sounds like you need to be the one to dress decently in a circumstance someone has invited you out in public to a fancier restaurant or event. This shows your social awareness is lacking.
She clearly said that Ryan doesn't care if she dresses in clothes that are comfortable and allow for having a better time. This dressing up thing goes too far sometimes and becomes a bit ridiculous. I actually like a woman that has the look of the woman in the hat, and I'd want my date to be comfortable on a date so that she can actually enjoy it instead of worrying about always "looking good"
You can still be comfortable and look good. Also that’s not the point. It’s an effort thing. The girl wants an Easy relationship when no relationships are. This mindset means nothing when it comes to small things because it doesn’t matter. The issue is her lack of effort when it comes to keeping the relationship. This is what the skit portrays and not that “dressing up is important.”
I am in a 15 years old relationship. When I told my boyfriend 3 years ago I wanted to start wearing make up on a daily basis, he looked at me like if I was crazy. I put my efforts in the relationship, not in the way I look.
I think here it’s a matter of how the woman views her level of commitment; both have valid arguments, but let’s look at overall mentality. Dress-up girl strikes me as the sort who is taught that putting an effort into your appearance reflects on how you value the individual(s) you’re spending time with. I’m VERY laid back, but my mom is of the mentality that you make yourself look good to show others what they mean to you. ‘I put an effort into my appearance because I value the time spent with you’.
Personally, after getting comfortable in a relationship, I never cared about things like this. As long as we're both dressed appropriately for the venue, rock on. Be comfortable in all things, as long as you're taking care of your health. The only caveat was if the attitude wasn't reciprocal, that was a red flag. Not that it meant there was something wrong with my partner, just that we weren't compatible.
The point of this video is that they are preparing to go out for a special dinner. So that means you should dress up for the occasion.
@@baylorsailor
No where in this entire video was it ever implied or stated that it was a 'special dinner'. You completely made that up lol. It says there going out to dinner in 10 minutes. She never said what the occasion was for, or where the dinner was being eaten. It could be an Applebee's for all we know.. because it was never stated.
I guess speaking more in terms of the spirit of the video, we're talking more about the double standard of effort. Do I still open the car door for my wife just because we left the house? No, and she doesn't expect me to. Do I still open doors and treat her like a princess on a nice date? Yes, because I want her to know she's still just as special to me now as on the date I proposed. Does she go all-out with her makeup and a nice dress every time we go to Applebee's? No, and I'd tell her to go put on something more comfortable if she did. Does she squeeze me tight and tell me how lucky she is when I bring home a "just because" gift? Yep, and it makes me feel good that after 20 years, I can still make her giggle like when we were 19 and in college. And that is what my original comment was about. As long as we're showing appreciation for each other and not putting in over-the-top effort when unnecessary after so long together, I'm happy.
"At least i dont sound like a child" LMAO 😂😂😂💀💀💀
With one of my ex's, I said something like that to her and she did not like it
Ohhhh ROASTED!!!!
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE
It’s just the sad truth
Effort is key!! I still dress up for him, still bake him random cookies, still do the happy little jig when I see him. He still twirls me like a princess, switches sides so I’m away from the road, and opens doors for me. It’s the little effort that really shines through over the years. Also make sure you still hold hands, it’s amazing how much just that little act does.
Effort shows appreciation and respect!!!! 🙌🙌🙌
I feel as though both sides have merit. Yes, you should maintain your relationship. How that's done varies by the individuals.
I totally agree
Effort in getting ready is much less important for guys than effort put in being a good person.
I’m married now and I have found this to me very true.
Those aren't mutually exclusive. You can put effort into both. Part of my self-improvement journey is to get into better shape to feel better about myself and improve my odds of attracting women. I don't intend to stop once I get into a relationship. I intend to maintain a good lifestyle. I know it's not popular to say, but it is true that attraction matter. People don't say, "I'm not attracted to my spouse, but I'm completely satisfied with our relationship anyway."
@@db9944 the point was that if you’re looking at both sides of the argument that one of those things matters way more to guys than the other
@@db9944 No. They are exclusive. I know a ton of good looking women that would spend so much time looking good and very little time being good.
@@jacobsamuelson3181 That's not what mutually exclusive means. You are not required to choose one of the other. You can absolutely do both. Some people may choose to only do one, but it is not required.
For me it’s not about what clothes we wear. It’s more about if the other person is healthy and appears healthy, mentally, physically and spiritually. I don’t care what she wears because wearing fancy clothes or dresses honestly screams attention seeking. Just wear what you are comfortable in because I wanna be comfortable with you, makes sense to me.
Love this! ❤
Yeah, women seems to think we want them "dolled up" all the time; we don't!
We want women that are comfortable and can be casual, and just be in the moment...
Of the two in the clip, I'd go for the casual one, easily!
Speak for yourself. Dresses are great. Its not even fancy clothes, thats just a normal dress.
@@SgtMclupusnope, you make the same mistake that the CZcamsr and many of the people here make: making blanket statements. Saying things like “this is what we want” is just a blatantly false statement because we aren’t a monolith, the guy below you even proves that. I’m not trying to get on your ass about it, but we can’t speak for all guys and that’s ok.
@@kregy7509 "SpeAk FoR YouRselF"
mf HE JUST DID???😂, did you read the first few words in the sentence.
And frankly, I agree
Yeah...only that “that's not the same” is totally correct. Making sure your significant other gets home safe and dressing up for each other are on a completely different level
And then they get mad when men do the same thing. "Why don't you do the things you used to when we started dating?" 🤦♂️
Honestly most men neither care nor notice women's appearance. It's a thing women do for themselves.
Source: I'm 38, happily married. I've been in a few longer relationships in my life.
Unless a guy specifically tells you "I find it super hot when you wear XYZ that you had on that day", which is information that you want to make a note of, most of the time they don't notice. So relax and only dress up if it's something you enjoy.
Totally agree with the message, but some of us just like girls in sweatpants
There's a time and a place for sweatpants.
Then you need to work harder. If u were taking your woman to a 5 star steakhouse sweatpants wouldnt be allowed to walk in the door.
I was looking for this comment, I like to dress casually and I like women that dress casually. 5 star restaurant or not, but that’s my preference and expectation so the message in the video still stands
@@declanmcsherry9368 what u dont understand, is that when u dress casually when the time is not casual they dont let you in😂 its not an option, they have a dress code brav. Thats silly as it is, u want to live your life dressing sloppy and low class👎🏼
@@declanmcsherry9368 ur comment makes me have to assume you have never been to a nice restaurant
Gods if i hate double standards. This skit is so true it hurts.
Women develop their beliefs from 15-25, when they have all the options and leverage. When those huge lopsided advantages go away, they see it as a huge injustice.
I see it from men all the time. Nice to the girl until she agrees to date him. Then he loses the thrill of chasing and finds other girls to cheat with.
@@RapK-fu2sh wow, the "but the men" line is always pathetic. No matter how many times I hear it to deflect from toxic femininity.
@@legiontepes3474 Reality always hurts. And it's funny how she brings up having a job and holding the door open. These are things a man who isn't in a relationship will still be doing. Like she couldn't even bring up a relationship-specific task? It shows how little men are doing in their actual relationship and marriage.
@@RapK-fu2sh gods, you are not just a 🤡 but the whole circus. Have a nice day. 😂😂😂😂
Relationships aren't easy. Relationships are very hard. However, both putting and wanting the other person to put a ton of effort on their looks above how they are when just by themselves is immature and can lead to resentment long term, ruining a relationship more than it would help.
Yup.
Right. Both sides need to put in the work, not just men. Exactly.
Men put effort in how they look? Since when?
@@sage3819 Wow, ok.
@@sage3819There's the misandry!
@@cjmunnee3356 There's the victim!
@sage3819 Ha! That's rich... So, calling out BS when I see it is being a victim? Dumbest thing I've ever heard. Learn to be a better person.
I don't mind looking good for myself and my hubsand. We don't mind going beyond for each other within our marriage. My mom and dad went beyond for each other through their marriage and they're still together, they had me and my sister. Both genders have to work together if they want to make a relationship and marriage works. My sister and her husband does the same thing for each other and they're happy. I cut off angry and bitter friends that would tell me that I sound like a "pick me" nonsense. Thank you Billie.
Ugh hate the “pick me” non sense
@@Zrizzy7right he already picked you. You out in effort because you care, not to “pick me.”
If it’s someone you don’t know and u act fake to impress someone, that “pick me.” Putting in work because you love someone? Thats a healthy relationship.
Do many women do those things for guys who aren't tall, handsome, athletic, popular, charming, well-off etc.?
@@DavidZ4-gg3dm handsome and charming to one woman may be mid/creepy to another. Athletic? Most men aren’t all of these things especially athletic but still get girls. Now if you want a woman who is all these things, thats a different story. (Replace handsome for beautiful etc).
@@joshuamclean4588 Most men are rejected.
I personally believe that if I truly loved a woman, she would look stunning in abaolutely anything (even a sweater and sweatpants) but that's just me.
You rock.
Life is not easy unless you put effort to make it easy. Relationships are the same, you put in the effort and it becomes easy to love and to be loved.
My bf passed in 2021 He would bring me flowers while I got ready I miss getting ready for him. 💔
Next goes the intimacy. And when that goes, the man stops trying and the gap grows and grows.
Excellent point.
No respect no relatioñship. She's already bored. When she suddenly starts lifting her game, she's back on the prowl. Sure sign.
That's why it's important to never marry.
Women should initiate "intimacy" sometime as well...especially if they are "stay at home workers".
@@DavidZ4-gg3dm ... sorry, but if that's what you gleaned from this skit, that only proves that this can be bad relationship advice
Me and my husband make sure that we hold each other accountable by working out so we can say fit and active. I'm pregnant with our newborn child on the way but I'm still gonna workout, we love our bike ride adventure and lakefront dates. I did push up challenges with my family and I beat them sometimes. I love my fun bonding and relationship with them.
Sorry, but I'm a bit confused. English is not my first language. "I'm pregnant with our newborn child on the way"? Are you pregnant or have you given birth?
Maybe she meant "first child"? Not "newborn child"?
She's dressed perfectly fine. But she shouldn't change her attitude of how to please her man between dates. Present yourself how you are. If you like casual wear more and there's no formality requirement, show that whichever date you're going on.
I get the first date because she may not have known him well and wanted to just be formal but if they both agree that casual is perfectly fine then theirs no rush to dress up formally every time.
What? This makes no sense. There are some instances i like to "dress up" and look extra fancy...depending on the place, time, mood am in, occasion etc...and other times i like to be super casual (by casual i don't mean just rolling out of bed). Actually same goes for my husband. Most times he will dress very casual but then sometimes he catches me more dressed up and will laugh and go change into something (slightly lol) dressier too. Like "oohhh you're in a dress and makeup, i should probably change out of my shorts for some nice jeans" haha.
Once you are in a steady relationship it means you should be comfortable enough to be however you want to be with each other. It's weird that just because you dressed a certain way for one date, you should keep doing it for all dates! Like imagine your husband takes you to a fancy restaurant for one date, does it mean he needs to always take you only to fancy restaurants?
@@minervarose7664 I meant that you should dress how you feel like dressing. There shouldn't be an expectation on you to dress up just because you are going on a date, unless where you are going on a date has that specific required dress code. And it should not be expected whatever date number it is.
@@RoderickEtheria oh yes, of course. My apologies i seem to have misunderstood your comment. Totally agree.
Joke's on you!! He fell in love with the touque and hoodie version of me 😊😊😊😅
Nailed it on the Good Woman/Bad Woman contrast!
The bad woman is the one using her body to get men's attention?
The one that has been waiting for years for her guy and is still just a GF?
The good one is wearing sweatpants, yep.
These videos should be required for all teenagers
In many ways, they do. Yes this is targeted for adults but who says that teenagers can’t learn front this too? If anything, it can help them more cuz of how young they are and if they get these lessons sooner, it’ll be better for them in the long run. Point is, this lady is helping everyone. It’s all about you accepting the help or not.
@@TheLuconicBro said they should be taught in school, which I probably agree with about most
@@TheLuconicyes but majority of adults won’t listen to this kinda content cause they’ve already formed their own opinions. Being taught this stuff early will atleast introduce them to a new view point and possibly even make sure they have a happy successful relationship in the future
Don’t know about all, this one is fine but some of her videos have bad advice too
Teaching young girls that their only worth comes from their physical appearance? You're so right, there isn't enough of that in today's society -_-
Proverbs 31:
Charm is deceptive and beauty is vain, but the woman who fears the Lord, shall receive praise.
Fears the lord needs explanation. In my Catechism class, it would be followed by “what does this mean?”, with many examples.
In this case it would not be about hiding in a corner fearing wrath, but many examples about making the most out of what she and her future husband have, putting in maximum effort to ensure a good outcome, and being smart about it at every turn. Not being slothful, fearing the RUINS her family’s life would be in if she did.
Fear the Lord is referring to respecting the Lord. It's not fear how we take today. Although we should understand the Lords' power and fear 😨 that too. Hope that helps!
@@darnellb1985 It really doesn't. Fear the Lord doesn't communicate today. WE need to use the current language to communicate our feelings thoughts beliefs. Not speaking ye olde kings English, and expecting others to perform an unfamiliar translation they have no expertise to do.
Christians who say "Fear the lord" FREQUENTLY mean "Fear ME, I am God's hand." Yes I grew up in that household, among those people. So you really do have to say what you really mean.
@@danjohnson6800 I was a Bible major and according to The New Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible and specifically for Proverbs 31, the word fear means, "to fear; mor. to revere; caus. to fighten: - affrigh, be (make) afraid, dread (-full), (put in) fear (-ful, -fully, -ing), (be had in) reverence (-end), x see, terrible (act, -Ness, thing).
Therefore both fear as we know it and reverence (respect) IS actually correct from the Hebrew language!
@@darnellb1985wouldn’t be better to say respect the lord because fear may cause respect but not always and respect doesn’t have to come of fear. It feels strange to try to combine those two only partially related things and expect everyone to understand it.
A relationship can be easy and you can still put forth effort.
I've experienced this as a man. I was a philosophy major in college, I met a girl in one of my classes during my junior year. We sat next to each other and for the first week or two she would get dressed up; nice dress, heels, a touch of makeup, nice hair, handbag, she put in effort because she wanted my attention. One day I asked her out on a date and she said yes, I was going to walk her to the library where we'd have lunch and study together, she never showed up.
Later on she stopped putting in any effort, she'd show up to class wearing just leggings, a bra, and an open jacket, I thought it was a very weird and indecent way for her to dress. She also stopped putting on makeup, she didn't take care of her hygiene anymore she had loads of acne around her mouth, and I also found out she had a nose ring and a tattoo. It got to the point where she didn't want to engage with me as a partner anymore, she wanted to use me as a human filing cabinet for philosophy notes so she could stay up partying with her friends on school nights. When it came time for the final exam in our class I was one of the first people to finish, and as I got up from my chair I could see that she was still stuck on the first page with a distraught look on her face. She probably failed that exam and it was her own doing.
I take it as a lesson learned. Some girls will put in effort in the beginning to reel a guy in, but once they've gotten what they want they see no need to continue the effort. Good girls remain loyal to their man because they care about him and the relationship that they share, it's about dignity.
Sorry to hear that. A lot of women are undatable and not really fit for marriage. Sure to an extent I want a woman to be herself but I don't want her to use and take advantage of me until I stop being useful in her eyes. One reason I am single is because I am afraid of what certain women would do with or to me.
Your story disturbed me and will now make me lose even more faith in the world 😂
Yeah, I'm sure you already know, but she never wanted to date you, but to use you for study.
The large majority of men aren't valued; only what they provide is.
I mean... I had a really bad relationship with my ex but it was just because neither of us were ready for an actual functional relationship, I'm now with another girl and it is the best thing ever.
There are good ones out there, there absolutely are, it just feels absolutely impossible to find until you find the right one
I'm a young woman and i try my best to dress like I'm about to meet my future husband everytime i go outside the house.
Save yourself for marriage.
Good for you, that's awesome! :)
@@Warbandrogue Definitely! (I dress modestly, don't worry)
@@Kez-The-Pez I am not worried. It's your life.
Men don't care what you wear.
So much of this. Im tired of doing heroic levels stuff on my end, when I'm not even getting basic levels in return.
Heroic levels stuff= putting on cologne and paying the bill
@@sage3819 if that's your idea of heroism, then you're not even on the scale of what I'm discussing.
@@wise_guy4230 what did u do man, save her from the princess castle she was being mentally abvsed in? Saved her from mother gothel? You just opened the door for her, jesus.
@@sage3819 I did actually save her from her violent, manipulative ex, as well as her abusive, alcoholic father. I've also helped her through over a decade of mental, emotional and financial recovery. That's an ongoing process, but I'm proud of her for making progress. I also helped raise her two special needs children to adulthood. The younger of which gets his associate degree next month, alongside his Mother completing her Masters. I also fought for her and did the research and worked out surgery and recovery plans that helped her survive a near death medical crisis that had her in a coma for 3 months, and the physical and emotional recovery afterwards.
Just to hit a few high points.
And yes, I taught our sons to hold doors for people and show courtesy; taught respect, as well as self-worth. Among many other lessons.
Sounds like you've still got some lessons to learn before mouthing off on the internet to people in self-righteous, childish indignation.
@@sage3819 What does she do? Probably just Put on a dress and makeup then insult the guy because he couldn't read her mind about inconsequential things she gets anal about, then bitch to all her friends in the group chat about how awful her man is so they can shit on him as well.
If cologne and paying bills is heroic, sounds like you're a perpetual damsel in distress. 🤣
I would say just be yourself. I'm the kind of girl who never wears makeup or dresses up. I do wear "nice" casual clothes (jeans and T-shirts), but I never "put in the extra effort." If I had to start doing that, then I would probably become really unhappy because it doesn't align with who I am. I told my boyfriend this on date one, and he said he doesn't care. We are together now 2,5 and he has never asked me to dress up. He knows not to expect that. And I show that I care for him in other ways
Yes. Pretty healthy and human of you ❤
Rais your hands 🙌
If you think the girl with sweatpants and a hat looks better 😍😍
A woman can certainly look beautiful in casual clothing, as long as it's clean and fits reasonably well. (Baggy sweaters are OK, too, though).
I'm a man and if I'm with a woman I would still continue to take care of my looks and appearances because i like to look clean and not smelling and looking dirty. Relationships isn't just about attraction, it's about putting both genders putting in effort to make each other happy.
She's not a "pick me" if she was already picked a long time ago.
Well she wasn't picked, she's just pªthetic.
@@sage3819hoes mad 😂😂
I’ve seen several of this persons’ YT Shorts I gotta say she sees the world as it truly is she speaks nothing but facts and now she has my subscription
Thank you, you bring back my faith in women. And I mean this for real.
Even before me and my partner met, neither of us were really putting in effort into our appearance, and that's okay. That's the type of people we are, and we're both happy and comfortable with that. He's definitely started putting less effort in, and i may have a well, I'm not sure, but, we continue to put effort into other things, like supporting each other, helping each other with difficult tasks, talking each other down when we need that strength, acting as a shoulder to cry on, and just generally being the support for one another, as well as being each other's best friend and part of some of the best moments of the last five-and-a-half years. Effort doesn't always have to go into appearance alone.
I've never really cared much about looks. But I've always cared about feelings.
“Relationships are supposed to be easy “
O. Kayyyy.😂
I love your content. It's the kind of attention to both sides of the relationship that should be discussed. So many Influencers polarize on the on or the other side. I am thankful for each video you upload.
I'm sort of with hat girl on this one, but it depends where they're going. if it's for a nice meal somewhere posh then sure, we should both dress up a little. But if we're going to Wetherspoons for a relaxing and fun evening down the pub then wear whatever you're already in or what you're comfortable in. It always seems a bit tragic where you're just down the local pub and the women have really dolled themselves up but their men are all scruffy. I know in many working class areas the local pub is the only place couples go so it's the only chance these women get to dress up, but it just looks odd.
This is LITERALLY the message every woman needs to hear.
She is 100% right. People fall out of love because the things they did during the initial attractions don’t do it anymore. They just become totally different people and then let go.
But shouldn't you become more comfortable with your partner as the relationship develops more 🤔
If it is an "EFFORT", it is NOT SINCERE!! Only be yourself ... your charade can't last forever.
ACT LIKE AN ADULT!!!
Only promise what you can deliver.
Follow through on what you promise.
If you run into a problem, immediately inform the other person.
😐😐😐😐
I think having "lazy" dates is ok but totally agree! You gotta put that effort in ❤
Relationships take work and sacrifice on both sides. If you arent willing to do this stay single .
Relationships are supposed to be easy? When, where, who said that? Cuz all I've ever heard was "marriage takes work, relationships are hard, etc"
The master dater in hoodie and sweatpants said so 😂😂😂
why even get in relationships???
@@HUEHUEUHEPony Many people want to, it's also a step towards building a family for those who want to.
@@HUEHUEUHEPony humans are social creatures even if we don't always feel like it. Babies die without human touch, that need doesn't change as we get older.
That's what men do. Men will love bomb. A woman until they marry her and then quit everything quit the dates quit, the flowers quit the romance completely. My husband's sister told her after one month of being married. He don't have to do that stuff anymore because they're married.... And he was absolutely serious. That's what men do most of the time.. I don't know many women who do that, but men do it all the time..
Both sexes do it, but men probably do it a little more often, probably because we have to. Some women will only date or sleep with a "perfect" man, so guys feel compelled to lie and be fake in order to succeed at dating. Both people need to hold themselves and each other accountable.
@SpicyNuggs562 this is the reason why women dress up so much in the beginning as well
Thank you for sharing wisdom to men and women. Too many people have lost the thread of meaning.
Anyone calling anyone a pickme is jealous of that person but can't be bothered to change themselves.
Not really. She’s clearly just pandering to the male ego. That’s what pick mes do
@@PyroMiniYak Yeah, expecting equal effort in relationships is absolutely 'pandering to the male ego".
Really just proving her point here. Pickme's put in effort and care about their man's opinions, desires and wants. You can't expect the same and call it pandering to ego vice versa.
@@PyroMiniYak You're proving the point of this video. A woman putting in effort is "pandering to the male ego?"
@@theworstcatholic7247 So the only way a woman can put in effort in her relationship is through her physical appearance? that's a pretty pathetic way of viewing women's worth
@@TKDBoy1889 because it’s always pick and choose. Billie loves pandering to all the things men get mad about. When a woman dresses hot she’s accused of “disrespecting her boyfriend”. When a woman does the opposite she’s accused of “not trying hard enough to look good for her man”. Women can’t win because men will just find something else to get mad about because that’s apparently what they do best now. And Billie capitalizes on that market by changing her tune whenever it suits her narrative of the day. Not to mention she doesn’t even make the attempt to make the conversations she has with herself at least a little realistic. She resembles a person that doesn’t come up with comebacks until long after the debate is over.
Wants to make her man happy and be with him forever = "Pick me"
Yes, that's the goal in relationships to be picked, generally for life
She is also the same women who called women who wear makeup fake and that they basically lie to on a daily basis my putting makeup...
People still don't get that you are the kind of audience she attracts because she makes a livelihood out of your money....that's why she sells her merge to men 💀💀💀
And yea "pick me" might be the right term
The last line is priceless. Too many children running around who think they are adults, mearly because of their age and physical appearance.
"But I feel I've been sold a false bill of goods now... please. Gimme that money."
Arthur Morgan reference?
Most def agree ... something i learned in the army is complacency kills ..its always best to put 100 effort to everything ..even if u come up short at least u tried ...its better than no effort..ive seen this collapse so many relationships
This is so true, thank you for creating this video.
Those were some unbelievable valid points!
I heard a phrase once that “men marry women thinking she will never change, but woman marry men thinking he will change”.
I like my woman to wear sweatpants and shit more than dresses and stuff like that. To each their own I guess.
I don't disagree but context does matter. If you and your girl were going on date night and you had reservations at a nice restaurant or something and she showed up in a beanie and sweatpants but you showed up in a noce dress shirt and slacks, don't you think you'd be lookin at her a little sideways?
@@zacharyharwell351spot on.
Then don't bother with the suit and go somewhere you're both comfortable.
@@zacharyharwell351 I’d probably be envious of her and want to change my clothes to dress down, myself lol. Also I’d think, why are we at a fancy restaurant? Let’s get out of here and go somewhere more fun. But that’s just me
A lot of men do lol
Okay but some men & women dig the relaxed comfortable look. If you love someone you don’t need them to perform 24/7..
let them be comfortable especially if they’re going through something, you don’t have to dress up all the time to keep a partner and if you do, maybe the bond isn’t as healthy and strong as it should be to last.
Exactly! It’s pretty much lies and deception to misrepresent yourself at the start of a relationship to get in someone else’s good graces.
Going through this BS currently with my gf. She's stopped doing alot of the things that attracted me to her at the beginning and anytime I bring it up, she tries to flip the script and make it all about herself.
You should break up with her.
If she stopped doing those things, then maybe you also stopped doing things that attracted her to you.
You love her, if she also still shows her love too, I do not see a major problem, just she may need some support in her personal life
To be fair, physical attraction is the last thing I care about in my partner, and I would expect the same nonchalance from my partner about chivalrous acts. Relationships are more than just these surface level stuff. As long as you take care of your physical health and hygiene, and try not to look ugly, I'm good with whatever physical appearance my partner has
Even if you weren't on a date? Why not dress up nice just cause it's the decent thing to do?
Too right. My wife after a few years married starting wearing what i called her "boys clthes" 😂
Thanks for putting in this effort! It's nice to have these easy reminders that fall by the wasteside, not even realizing it.
Totally disagree with this take, especially after a relationship gets serious, time should be conserved for more important things that looking nice when going out. I'd much rather a girl be ready in 10 minutes than to take an hour and look like a 10.
There is a difference between a partner reducing the time it takes to get rdy because you both agree that said time is better spent differently, and a partner doing it because he/she no longer feels the need to be attractive to their partner.
One is an agreement between adults, the other is a lack of appreaciation.
She can start getting ready earlier.
It's crazy how people nowadays are throwing around the term "pick me" so easily.
Are you saying this because you don't want to take accountability
@@JAG214 Accountability for what?
@@snjezanakristo6048 I am talking in general
@@snjezanakristo6048'accountability for what?' - that question is an answer in itself.
@@magicalbeatsuk I was reffering to the woman in the video who was absolutely right, but another woman called her a "pick me". But y'all men are so quick to crucify a woman.
Thank you! This is the reality of most marriages......
Relationships are NEVER easy...
This is absolutely right.
Holy crap, this is the exact way I have been feeling with my wife. And could never vocalize it. Thanks!
Point taken. At first I thought the black outfit was you playing as the guy, lol.
Nailed it. I dress up like I’m going out even if I’m going to be home all day. My grandma was the same way.
Realtionships should feel comfortable. If you like dressing up and find a guy that appreciates it, cool keep doing it. If you prefer to feel comfy and find a guy that likes you that way also cool. Don't fake a thing to get him into you if thats not you.
This goes for men too btw.
“You sound like such a pick me” man I’m hating postmodern women more and more
My 17 year old son calls girks that post on Instagram in bikinis as pick me's.
Desperate for men's attention.
Wow! Can't thumbs up enough!!! Common sense. Fml. Well done. I am too guilty of this so shall endeavour to change my ways. Thank you.
I actually get both sides. Sure, I’d appreciate the effort being put in to look nice, but I also like the mentality/implication that comes with being comfortable around someone and not stressing about more superficial details.
What matters most is two people in a relationship finding a balance that works for them.
Remember that the opposite of a "pick me" is a "leave me behind".
Rules for thee, but not for me.
The most insightful thing I ever heard was “show me a beautiful woman and I’ll show you a man whose tired of her”
They're both right. As a man, if my girl of 7 years wants to wear sweats, that's cool, idc, but if she wants to doll up and be all extra, that's also cool. I'm pretty static in the way I dress and prepare to get ready for dates, so it's ok if she is too. I also believe it has something to do with the type of date. For example, if we're going to someplace super fancy, we dress up more if we're going to a spa, and then we'd wear different clothes, so it's all relative.
THIS is why modern dating is F-ed…
The, call me weird, but I'd rather my partner be in comfortable clothes over fancy clothes
Her videos are literally a breath of fresh air, it feels amazing to see common sense get back on the internet again.
The fact that she actually curled her hair while filming this 🤌 she is so cool!
Idc if anyone calls me a simp, I want to clone Billie & date the clone, she has the right attitude
You're not a simp for wanting a down to earth woman
@carmeltabby nothing about this chicken is down to earth. 😂
Oh that’s not being a simp, most of us would kill for a Billie.
I will only deal with a woman who is attractive enough to look good without cosmetics or other expensive vanity treatments.
Which explains why your diqk stays dryer then the Sahara Desert
@@PyroMiniYak 💀💀💀 I haven't read a better roast than this in my entire life ig...you go girl or boy🔥🗣🔥🗣🔥🗣
@@49.somanshisharma51 you need to read something that isn’t printed on a cereal box
@@PyroMiniYak Now explain why your argument is weaker than a knock knock joke as a pick up line
That is so accurate the amount of women that just let themselves go when they’re in a relationship and just stop trying is laughable and unfortunately that’s where problems go and people lose attraction to their partner. This can go for men too.
You ever stop to think, that maybe they don’t need to do the things that helped them attract the person they’re with? I personally think if someone maintains their physical appearance, they’re not ready for a longterm commitment. Those that let themselves go actually have. Because they know that youth and beauty fade away over time.
@@13Dixiefried it’s not just about physical appearance it’s about putting effort into the relationship. Like still going on dates, having sex often, communicating, showing love and affection, taking care of themselves in general.
@@13Dixiefried putting effort into appearance: the same reason you clean your room and your car, the same reason you get a car wash and take a shower, it’s about taking care of yourself. I don’t expect a girl to be in high heels and a tiny black dress if we are just lounging in the house, but it’s called taking care of yourself and putting in effort in you and the relationship. Part of the reason I wear Lululemon and David Archy underwear is so she sees some sexy underwear when we are in bed together. Keep the attraction going and never stop dating your partner, and especially if you’re married, have spicy sex often. relationship satisfaction will be higher when you do those things.
I'd say this is a nuanced thing, in some relationships it really doesn't matter, and I'm saying this as someone you dresses up. I prefer to dress up to show my excitement, but some days I don't bother because I don't feel like it. As I see it, a partner shouldn't be mad if you don't want to dress up, but like don't show up to a restaurant date in sweatpants.
She's quite right, relationships long lasting worth keeping relationships are hard work, stressful at times, but it's about teamwork and sharing the load, And having each other's back at the end of the day. A relationship is a team effort after all.
Not really. It's just about not breaking up. They're are couples that have been married decades who hate each other but refuse to get divorced. At the end if the day they're still just as legally married as the couple who loves each other.
@@krn2683 literally my parents lol .. my dad won't leave and my mom doesn't want to make it messy so they're still together till this day but rarely sleep in the same bed
The genius of this channel is that it demonstrates to men examples of how they should communicate potentially emotionally-charged topics to their woman in a sensitive but clear and direct manner.
Be VERY careful with whom you share your emotions and human vulnerabilities!!! Be absolutely certain that person won't weaponize this information and/or share it with the whole world.
😐😐😐😐
Hats off,LADY.
100% RIGHT
I've always said this... for years! That's why I'm done with relationships. My father---God bless him---always told my brother and I, "when you first meet a woman, you don't meet her. You meet her representative."
And that is sooo true! Women get all dolled up and look amazing at the beginning. Then, once the woman has hooked you, she let's herself go."