Critical Mistakes AFTER No Contact
Vložit
- čas přidán 31. 07. 2024
- Often times we stay in No Contact after a breakup for long periods. We lose hope, get unmotivated, focus on the wrong thing, and get anxious. Especially when we get in front of our ex again. This video shares several that people often make when they are anxious and significantly decrease the chances of working things out or repairing the relationship.
Get Craig's help personally: www.askcraig.net/take-action/
Get Margaret's help: www.askcraig.net/margaret-1/
Craig's workbook series: www.askcraig.net/workbooks-1/
Be sure to SUBSCRIBE to the channel
You can now find Craig on iTunes, Spotify and other podcast platforms. - Jak na to + styl
If you found these helpful put a like on the video and let us know. We can consider a follow up
Thank you guys for this video it was very informative. Can you please show a video on how to have a healthy conversation with your expressing your worrys or concerns in regards to correcting and dating your ex. Thank you guys again for all you do. Your videos have provided new positive energy to my in this dark season after my divorce.
Positive energy to my life... sorry
Hi, I found this video very helpful and would be really interested in a follow up! And thanks for all your helpful work, both of you are amazing! I keep watching and learning, watching and learning...! 👍👍
Coach Craig Kenneth love it.
Hello Coaches, this was a great video, I'd be very much interested in a follow-up especially because I just reconnected with my ex and acted so insecure that I think I crushed my chances (he told me from the beginning that he was in a hurry and I acted so disappointed that I was almost unable to speak.. I felt rejected all over again). So can you please give more detail on how to handle the reconnecting and how to proceed in case the first encounter is not going well? Is NC recommended for a second time? Thanks a lot, Mira
hey everyone - from experience, don’t worry about any mistakes or things you said to your ex, it’s completely normal to act irrational when someone blind sided you. Don’t contact them after you make peace & they tend to always regret it... they aren’t that special & they don’t deserve to treat you like that & expect you to feel bad about minor mistakes you made when they have free rains. all the best:)
Isaac Smith dont you think that kenneth and Margaret know what they are talking about
Isaac, exactly!!! Thanks for your comment . This is exactly how I think, too.
Hey Isaac, can we talk?
I think Isaac has respect for Craig and Margaret and the points made in the video are valid in a lot of situations. He's saying however if you did do or say any of these things, that you shouldn't sit and analyse it and beat yourself up because you're looking through rose-colored glasses. Don't give your ex the benefit of the doubt like your the only one acting erratically and you're the only one at fault.
It always takes two.
Sometimes emotions are high, and no matter how hard you try to suppress those emotions, they come up. They can also be provoked, like being pricked with needles.
What to do then.. ?
After watching a ton of these videos I learned I was anxious attachment and she was avoidment attachment. We got into a small argument and she blocked me me on Facebook and her number. She was the most beautiful girl I ever saw and ended up being the ugliest one I ever met...
Well said🤯
Hope all is well, I hope you found someone nice. A lovely person that Loves you.
You are not the only one my friend. I also learnt the hard way.
Update???
i dont feel anger for my ex, i regret that I could have done better in the relationship.
Update???
I agree
Same
If you did your best, you tried. That's good that you tried. If they don't communicate their needs to you, that is on them
Did your ex ever reach out to you??
Hı coach, pls make the second part of this series it’s really really crucial for reconnecting and recovering the broken relationship and keeping your special ones wants to be with you! Thank you & Kudos and Margaret to all the awesome help and sources for us to better ourselves!
this video is great!! please continue I know that many people besides me need the continued support! thank you for all that you and Margaret do!!!
Coach Craig and Coach Margaret are the best CZcams coaches in the entire CZcams market! I've learned a lot from both of them and their videos. Never condescending and always polite.
Now, more than ever, I NEED to save up for a Skype session. I was already saving for the workbooks, but after watching this video (I watch all of them religiously), I'm able to see many toxic traits that him and I BOTH had in our relationship, which led to our demise...Thank you, coach Craig and Margaret, you'll be hearing from me soon!
I will need to rewatch this everyday! Just to keep it in the back of my mind.
I loved this one... would love more.
Love the video Craig and Margaret. Always a pleasure to get a new video from you both. X
I love that you both give very healthy advice. Every video is very professional and I learn a lot about myself. It was about my ex in the beginning but now I can see some clear patterns that I do, too.
I can't afford any help in my real life, so I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate that you put your videos up for free. What makes you so outstanding is that I always feel in a safe space while watching. That's not the case with many coaches on YT.
I think with so many views you also may receive some not so good comments each week but please keep doing your videos. They helped me to grow and understand myself /my behaviours better. I am not able to give you anything back, so THANK YOU, you make a difference. PS: The NC worked for me :) Now it's time for a meet.
I have been watching your videos since 2018 and found out i had an anxious attachment. I worked on it and thought i made it to secure attachment. I was in a recent breakup from relationship that lasted for one year. I came back here to check what I have been doing wrong. It took me some weeks before implementing no contact since i used to live with my ex. It has been a month since the last time we spoke. He continues to check my days status in social media which he didn't do before. It was disconnection from him that triggered my anxiety from the start. I watched this video and to my surprise I have been guilty of 4 out of 5 of these during our relationship. Though it will be a lot of work but I'm glad to find out what I have been doing wrong so I can improve for future relationships. Thank you as always for your videos. They have been very helpful on personal growth through these years. Please continue to educate us.
I would love to break my unhealthy behaviours. When you said we sometimes revert back to our parents behaviour resonates with me. I didn’t like when my mother got angry so easily yet when I’m stressed I can flip out, then have to calm myself. I really hate that behaviour within myself.
Same...i totally lost myself this year then ig that's a factor of the breakup.
This was awesome!!!! I love Margaret ! I don't want my ex back.... but this information on relationships is priceless. thank you craig
Listening to Craig and Margareth lectures is just like mental bodybuilding. I think you saved so many lives. God bless you 🙏
🙌Mental bodybuilding, indeed! Well said! Best wishes to you. Blessings from Austin 💫
I like Margaret's tip: "What does that sound like to you?"
She always nails it in a New York minute.
Love her dearly!
Wonderful surprise from you both.🌸 Thank you and may you be happy and in good health always....💙💙💙💙
Thank you for an amazing video coach Craig. Please make a follow up on this one!
Has been 4 months since my ex dumped me, and I still watch your videos regularly. He's moving to another city in 2 weeks and I'm really anxious about this and the future. I'm also going to move to that city but in a year. I realize Im not over the guy at all but slowly I'm making progress. You and Margaret support me A LOT. Each of your videos gives me super positive vibes regardless of the topic.Thank you for your great job.
Did your ex ever reach out to you???
This was awesome. I've been doing marathon watching all weekend and I was just wondering in the back of my head how to handle when they do come back so thank you! I love you and Margaret and I thank you for helping bring us back from the depths of hell during a breakup. Would love to see you talk about this topic more.
Jill Miller Oooffff I been there I was committed to 60 hrs a week watching the coach videos
Update? Did your ex come back?
This was spot on! A follow up would be great!
I am in no contact right now & my anxiety is through the roof.
I have major issues from childhood that I've never discussed or really dealt with & as a result of listening to your videos, I know I have abandonment issues, separation anxiety, definitely anxious attachment style.
I guess you can say I'm a mess.
Coaches Craig & Margaret, you are the only 2 professionals I would trust to help me sort out my emotional mess & will be scheduling a session very soon.
In the meantime, I will keep watching your videos as they help tremendously .
Sounds like we have a lot in common. Do you have any updates?
Greetings from london! Margaret is as cute as ever! Very insightful and thought provoking. Thanks to the both of you and please make a follow up. Love Aisha ❤️🙏🏽
This is why it is sooo critical to do alottt of self improvement and a lot of self care and self reflection in this time of “no contact”. Because most of the time if you don’t , your sitting around and not becoming a better person for them or for someone along the road :( and you go straight back to the same reason you guys broke up in the first place . Good luck you guys I hope by the time my ex comes back or tries to reach out to me I hope we both have done a lot of self improvement if it was meant to be. If not good luck to him and I wish him luck and hope he’s happy down the road.
Yes! I’d love a follow up video!
It’s like you were reading my mind! I was listening to the podcast earlier and thought, “Why don’t they have more videos on what to do after (if they contact lol)?” My problem is there are issues that HAVE to be addressed. You can come from a place of understanding, compassion and (my plan) of appreciation for who they are and tell them “but this is what I need from a partner”...however it’s hard not to address issues without examples which come across as a criticism. Or do you just leave the specific examples out? Help!?! More on this topic. I feel like in general it just helps with communication in any romantic relationship no matter the status. I hope one day I can afford a coaching session. I have so many questions and so much to say. You guys are rock!!!
Loved it! Looking forward to the follow up. 🙂
I love this video, it was awesome, it's challenging but a great opportunity to make changes
This was really good. I'm doing no contact right now. It's been 3 and a half weeks. I'm doing what I can. To learn from all the mistakes I made. Idk if I have a chance. I'm hoping. My situation is very different. But this was a great video. Made me see another part of myself that needs work.
Thank you
Update???
Hi guys. Always wonderful people you guys are. I wished I could afford email coaching but instead I try to find my answers in your videos. It’s not easy because I realise I’ve messed up my post no contact! Which is a real set back! Meanwhile, I’m so worn out that I just want to let go and let ‘God’ do the work... IE I put a lot of effort in myself that I have no energy left to try and fix myself out of this impasse with my avoidant ex. I’ve been giving back measured replies in an attempt to not ignore him. Meanwhile he lives rent free in my head! Not so cool ☹️. No contact is really really hard for me. Thank you for your tips and wisdoms. Life savers.
This video is on the spot!
... well I did the same, was with my girl 1 and a half years... she loved me like crazy, the way she looked at me was incredible. The last time we talked, she said, that she still has feelings and that she still thinks about me, that it has been intense (in the relationship she always kept saying, that I am the best that happened to her, that she feels safe, she never loved anyone like this before), but she said that there is no hope. I know it was just 1 and a half years, but we did so much together, travelled all the time, shared the passion of working out. She lived with me the last 6 months of the relationship. That was also why it all got bad, I neglected her... had my own problems and got more and more frustrated, didnt realized I was not showing love. She was crying pretty often and her unhappiness made my frustration grow further, I was worried... but did not understand. I cant describe how bad I feel right now, the problem is, she has been left alone in her childhood and needs affection even more. It's been a month since she broke up with me, she is keeping herself really busy with friends and work, she started seeing other guys pretty fast... I assume its going to lead to a rebound soon 😞. The worst about this all is... she is the one, no other girl made me feel this way, I just feel this deep connection. She still is friends with my sister... I told her I would be incredibly happy, if she would reconsider. Tears randomly flow down my face every day, I cannot believe this, its a nightmare.
So I started no contact, but I am not sure... there still are things I want to tell her, because I want her to understand, that I did care about her sadness, but I didnt know the reason for her feelings and behavior.
Blessings to you, Toby. I'm hoping you are well, regardless if the two of you reconnected or not, I realize it's been a long time since your post. Keep strong, brother! There's lots of love for you. 💫
Can you please do more videos like this one thank you for all your help been watching you guys for several months it's very very helpful
I love you Margaret . You both are awesome. Thank you
Hello Margaret and Craig ... I had a ex tell me when I wanted to leave the relationship " I am in love with you and there is nothing you can do about it. " What a turn off for me .. Good video as usual.
💫Thank you so much for your amazing work! I went through a tough time some years ago and it was thanks to creators like you that I climbed out of the downward spiral I was stuck in. I’ve created my own channel to help do my part to assist others who are stuck, also to teach my five year old son some of the things he won’t learn in school.
I love the twinkle in Margaret's eyes. xx
What a great video and it is really helping me
My ex reached out and was so intrusive yet distant I proceeded with caution and questioned why he reached out. After he said he was honouring a promise he made whilst I begged him, I told him I don't have room in my life for people who don't want to be there with me so he was released from that promise.
Hi , I need women advice if can help me out.
I responsed to my ex reach out and then she ghost me again it has been 10 days still no reply
She texted :
“Are you going to church regularly? "
I replied
"Yes I got something to tell you."
She replied : what you want to tell me ?
I replied
“Ok , I want to see you laugh at my joke hahaha
Dinner Monday or Thursday “
Day 10 still No Contact Phase 2 after Phase 1 for 67 days Radio Silence
What should I have said and responded ? Maybe I said something wrong that boost her Ego and she Pull back ?
guess what...I was watching some other video of yours when the notification popped up on the screen.
Update?
@@jeffersonribeiro1669 well, shes dating other guys (Tinder)and we are texting again. She indirect-direct texts me and last time I asked for a coffee meeting and shes said yes, but never commits to a date or time. She always comes up with an excuse not to meet and says "I will let you know". She also asked for friendship. We never met since the BU almost 4 months ago.
My ex cut my heart out of my chest big time! I Have talked to her a couple times after the break up. I never got her back but i did meet someone new.shes so much better for me. My ex got her self in some pretty big trouble!
Did your ex ever reach out to you???
its all just games, game playing, nobody is honest anymore. he ghosted me 4weeks ago,and its just been amazing...i have never felt better. it was all gaslighting and lies
He did you a favour. Now if that coward ever attempts to contact you, do NOT give him the satisfaction of giving a response, except silence. Silence will be the killer and, as they say, will be deafening.
@@90blacknight really falling to pieces, should go "in patient"...barely hanging on
Sounds like you should look into a bunch of videos about narcissistic abuse! May be helpful. Hoping for the best for you, but sounds like you’re thriving in at least some ways and will get better every day..or minute...:)
Did your ex ever reach out to you???
LOVED IT ❤️
I have met with my ex of 4 years after over a year of no contact and I thought I blew it. Thanks to this vid I know he was not into me and I didn't do ant mistake.
Thank you coaches 😉
Really helpful video thank you! Can you do a video on when an ex comes back, pursues you really hard to where you even had a great time hanging out, then they start to breadcrumb you and not pursue?
Sounds like he's a "Dismissive Avoidant." Look up dating a dismissive avoidant by Coach Craig.
This video was really helpful. Thank you for it. Can you do a video on how to build emotional connection without smothering then once your ex contacts you? Mine contacted me after 5 days after saying that he will probably not reach out on his own, but respond if I reached out. But even though we're talking, it's all surface level stuff and I'm scared of going too deep because I'm scared I'll smother them.
Once I had a girl texting me that if I don't do this and that she will end it. So I called her and I told her we are done. Needless to say she did not like the rejection but the ironic part was she called me immature because I dumped her over the phone and she is not a 15year old that she can be dumped over the phone.... the princess expected me to dump her over a coffee that is how things should be done. My reply was you behaved like a 15 year old so you got treated like one.
Hey, Coach Craig and Coach Mar Mar. I can only speak for myself so here... What if that the only way we know how to get our points across? Can you also suggest some other ways? Like instead of you should do this... Another way of saying what our opinions are but without making them feel like it's the only option. Idk if I'm making any sense. Thanks a bunch
If your ex is a narcissist, you're screwed if you follow this. Only works with folks who get into healthy relationships. A narcissist will take any efforts to create harmony as a normalization of everything they did in the past and prepare to do worse. And a lot of this "get my ex back" obsession happens with partners of narcissists.
Such acceptance only works if you aren't papering over very serious things that SHOULD be addressed before getting together again.
Yes Coaches...I liked it...please do a follow up! :-))
Doing no contact right now. It's not easy. My ex and I had a lot of fun together but then we started arguing and broke up, got back together and broke up a few more times in a couple week period. Some of the getting back together was her idea and some was mine. Its frustrating as we got along great except for outside stress. There was definitely a physical and emotional connection but she ended it even though she was calling/messaging me nonstop right before. Confusing
Hey Craig!
Have a question!
In another video I remember you said that if you get back with an ex you should state your needs at the beginning if these were not previously being met. That way it avoids further heartbreak down the line. But how do you say all this without being "i need XYZ or else we're done"?
@coachgraigkenneth my girlfriend just left me. She said it was moving too fast. But she let me meet her son and some of her family members. I really don't know what to do. I haven't contacted her since she broke up with me. Can you help I'm really hurting right now
Are there any particular things to watch out for in the case of trying to rebuild a connection with an Ex coming back to you from a rebound? My previous behaviors gave her cause to look elsewhere, and this presumes I've done some work on myself to correct those unhelpful behaviors.
Oh Guys, He reached out last night after all the waiting and I needed hours to get back to him because I didn't notice! I hope he'll give me the chance to talk to him more and to NOT do all these mistakes
Can you make a video about how to built up communication when an ex reaches out to you after months? I'm still unfriended/unfollowed everywhere and scared he'll just keep it that way although he sent me that little message now.
My ex and I came back into contact a little more than 2 weeks ago. It was difficult for me to talk to him after being in no contact for so long. I already knew, it would have been better for me to be able to say more in the conversation to build up some more connection again. However, our conversation was very positive. He actually wanted to talk and even texted me again a couple days later. Since then there has been no contact again. I feel like he is being hot and cold or maybe he just feels too awkward to talk. I haven't done any behaviors to push him away but I still have been keeping my distance a little. Right now I am torn in between waiting a bit longer to see if he reaches out again or if I should try reaching out to build some more connection.
Update?
I’m listening to these and thinking, if only I knew these before, she would’ve been madly in love with me and never let me go.
My best friend’s wedding is coming up and between all of these craziness of COVID19, every single person him knows, is telling him to cancel the wedding. You’re crazing that you’re throwing a wedding in this situation. No one will come to your wedding. But he tells me that he’s not showing any signs that he thinks they should cancel the wedding to his fiancé. He says it’s because it’s her dream to have a wedding party with the ceremony. It’s not logical but at least he knows what’s he doing. If it was the old me, I would use logic to tell her that we shouldn’t throw the wedding. It’s crazy and my partner would get upset and she might even cancel the wedding. Fortunately I’m learning.
Funny about my friend is that even though he’s nothing but supportive and pro wedding, his fiancé sometimes says all of this is happening because deep down YOU don’t want the wedding 🤣
I like this video and i still want to re-attract my ex.
Did your ex come back?
I dont want to be angry with her anymore. I will always have love for my ex fiancee, no matter how shitty she was to me in the end
Well today is the day I finally realised that I'm never going to get the love of my life back. My Wife told me in no uncertain terms will never be getting back together and divorce papers are immanent. She's has been dating her apparent rebound for last 3 months and told me she's happy. In the 4 1/2 months since she left me I have worked on myself, watched pretty much every video on here + on multiple other subscribers ...all without success. I'm so deflated as I stupidly had it in the back of my head that one day if I put the work in she will come back 😭 I can't believe I'm going to have a divorce + we will never be the perfect family of 4 that we once were ever again. 17 YEARS TOGETHER GONE..JUST LIKE THAT!! Any advice where I go from here would be much appreciated 🙂
Neil Jones just wanna say, shit someone says in the moment “we are never getting back together” doesn’t necessarily mean anything, and her rebound is honestly a lot more likely to end once you distance yourself from her. Ofc, that is if you even do end up wanting her back still
So my ex called me on my birthday and we spoke(after about 40 days of proper NC) and i learned that she wanted us to be neutral, whatever that means but i told her because of how we were, we can't be neutral and she acknowledged herself that it was a selfish thing on her part, I asked her to meet up and she said she didn't think it would be healthy for us to meet. It's been 3 weeks since that convo and i'm starting to have my own doubts, should I have agreed to be neutral? or stick to my guns that maybe she will reach out again? I'd really appreciate a response
Hey, was there ever a followup on this video? Anyone knows?? So interesting!!!!!!
What do I do if the person who broke up with me keeps in touch to be nice to me? Should I tell the person to stop?
Im in mo contact after 27 days she text me saying hey..i kept it short and let the convo die..she said she was contacting me to bitch at me about tge delivery i made to her job..and tgen she added lol at the end and said she felt bad and changed her mind..do you guys think this is tge direct indirect message and she possibly misses me
I find your videos are really getting me through this hard time at the moment and they give me reassurance for the future! My ex broke up with me nearly two weeks ago after 4 years together which came as a huge shock to me but he has reached out to me 3 times while I have been in no contact, not relating to the relationship but just general chat but then he goes cold again and I don’t hear from him for days. What does this mean?😬
Update
Can you do a video on if you feel like if your ex forget about you or won’t contact you or if you dream about them alot
Thank you Couch for this video. I just have a question: Are there any hopes for a rebound?
I have the same question...
Please couch, can you give us an advice?
Move on and they will come back quicker n maybe you will realize they weren’t so great anyway. If they are interested they will come back.
So what should one do instead of all these mistakes whether they've been made already or not?
I often wonder, when people get back with an ex, do they wind up dumping the. The way they were dumped. I mean the ex made you jump through hoops, are they really worth it? It may be their body we miss, but not the dumpers character.
Please do a follow up video
Thank u...
Hopefully I didn’t miss this possible response , but what do you do if the dumper starts making demands?
hello i want contact my wife to save her she put restraining order on me am going court 90 percent she will risk jail for while i want save here i hav order no to contacte her, want to make sens to her but cant conatct her is she go court she will end up in jail for 5 years plaese help me to help her
Meeting with my ex today. Swapping out a few things. I’ve been good for the most part during no contact, some hard days of course. But overall. I’m alright. But I’ll admit. I’m nervous as all hell. I got 3 hours until we meet up and I’m trying to figure out how to do this perfectly. Every part of me wants to talk about us. But I know damn well that’s a terrible idea. Also part of me wants to share attachment styles with her because I truly think she would benefit from it. We all would. But that’s too much along the lines of relationships I feel and not sure it’s a good idea. Anyway. Wish me luck
The problem is that i do not now if i will have a shot again
what if after the day he broke up with me and im havin a dream about him constantly? eh no. whenever i go to sleep, day or night i always dream about him and i always dream we get back together. please anyone help me this is so frustrating what should i do
how T_T
if you were to to do no contact .while your self improving would you suggest sending any msg to your partner that you have learnt so much
Dear Coach Craig Kenneth, i have a question: What if your girlfriend breaks up with you, the Rebound was there immediately and she blocked you on everything. Nothing wrong or intense happened just discussions towards the end, but she wants to go on with the new Rebound and she cut, blocked me on all social media and phone. The relation was about 5 years and she was really totally in love with me. The No Contact (ofcourse) is for 5 weeks now. Heared nothing, really nothing.
Azazel thanx bro, i will. But all the trademarks of a rebound are there
What about if your ex tried to put you in the friend zone before No Contact and you get back into contact almost 2 months later and for over a month he's still trying to friend zone you after you have made it abundantly clear on more than one occasion that friends isn't an option...I got mad and gave him an ultimatum...either we work things out or I'm walking away...it may have been wrong but he needs to realize that I'm not backing down on what I want from him and that I'm not willing to settle for less than I deserve...now I'm back to not talking to him...any advice?
In a similar situation now. Any update?
@@0220LMB I kept to no contact but a few months in something terrible happened and a family friend that works with him reached out to him to let him know and he messaged me and we started talking but I let him know that I just really needed a friend to talk to...that was Sept 2019 and by Feb he started to tell me that he loves me again and asked I we could go back to how things were before and we've been great ever since...
@@jerseygirljenn4155 Wow! That's encouraging. I dont think its going to go that way with mine tho. Something horrible did happen to me and we were talking but then she told me she was dating someone else. So I told her again that I did not want to be friends and walk away. Now a month later, she's calling again telling me shes not dating anyone but she is still wanting to call me for emotional support as a friend. She knows what to say to get me to answer which is "I miss you" yet she only calls to talk late at night when shes lonely and sad and everyone else is sleeping. I feel so used. It seems like no matter what I do, she never seems interested in seeing me or considering coming back for something romantic. Very happy to hear it worked out for you. I like hearing that. Gives me hope but I think in this case, its gone. Thank you for responding.
I broke no contact last night after 3 solid months 😥
He got an extremely important letter (homeland security) and I had left a voicemail when I got home like 8pm cuz I know this is extremely important....
What I don't get is...he moved out 3 months ago and I would've thought he woulda updated his info straight away...
I know I messed up to break no contact and I was so shocked when he text me he sorry he's still at work and wanted to know when to get it...
Now I'm freaking out where to go from here....😥
I wish I could do coaching but I can't right now😥
I'm just checking the videos again so I don't screw up badly when we meet
My ex rejected me 2 months ago and has been dating someone else ever since. I’m heartbroken. She is leading me on by telling me she can’t be with me at the moment, maybe one day and said she’d hate it if I was with someone else. Yet she told me she is so happy with her new partner. She also wants to be best friends which I’m against. Should I go NC? She is scared if she sees me her feelings will come back, so part of me is tempted to keep seeing her. Any help? :(
Did your ex ever reach out to you???
My ex reached out and I am so anxious that I can't sleep or eat. I don't want to blow it.
How long was the no contact???
Is saying “I just need a code word or for you to let me know you’re leaving our text conversation when you’re busy, overwhelmed, etc” being commanding?
He will start a text convo and then just disappear or goes dry, and then I get anxious because he’s been hot and cold for 6 months and I’m just tired of doing almost of the work. He also gets insecure if I don’t reach out often. I’m done. I told him to contact me when he’s ready to really talk and when he knows what he wants and that I hope if he decides to make things work that it’s before I move on because I want it to work with him and that I love him.
I’m pretty sure he won’t reach out, he’s extremely non confrontational and avoids all he can. His avoidance has made me feel insecure and anxious and it’s just becoming unhealthy.
Have you been together before or not? Text convo, does it mean long distance?
Reasurance, telling you love him, why?
How much is to much contact after no contact ?
Is looking at your ex’s Instagram story considered breaking no contact ?
I did everything you say not to do for half a year and she left me she say I am good she will never find a man like me in her life time but we are not right for each other when she's with me she feel miserable she want us to be siblings she wants us to help each other for life as siblings 😭 help me, is this game over for me 😑 no more chance? she left 2 time before and she come back 2 time this time is the 3rd time
Any good news ...I am in the 3rd time breakup similar as u
I realized he is anxious. I am avoidant🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
I guess I should just keep quiet when my ex comes back!!
Saw my ex for the first time in over 2 months last week. I don't think I made any of these mistakes. I did tell her that right now I cannot be her friend. I can be her boyfriend but I cannot be her friend. She has a new guy and I know she is missing me. She had not said anything since we met and I am back in NC. Before we met she told me she feels like I have built a wall she won't be able to overcome. I told her that I love her enough that I can let her go if that is what is needed for her to be happy. Did I mess up saying that I won't settle for being friends at this point?
What happened next.. did she contact you?
@@Lily_ei_nyein She did. On the 6th sent sent me texts saying she was in bed with her new guy and he was sleeping. She said she loves me but she hates me but she loves me and she hates that she loves me. Also told me she feels alone laying in bed with him. She works night shift and had a bad night going into the morning of the 9th. She invited me over and we just chatted. She allowed me to give her a back rub and changed into her pajamas in front of me. Was completely naked at one point and she allowed a hug to take place while she was naked. I tucked her in then crawled inti bed with her. She let me be the big spoon for about 10 minutes then said I had to go. 4 hours later she was chatting again but did not allow me to come back over.
Then two days later she is telling me she has moved on and her new guy is so perfect. She would never leave him. Told me that me being at her place and in her bed felt wrong but the naked hug felt right. She then told me she rarely feels lonely with her new guy but felt lonely with me a lot during our relationship. I do not buy it as she was always excited to see me before.
The following day I asked her if she were me what she would do. She said she didn't know. She says she sees the effort that I am putting in for her but claims it is not sustainable. I told her to judge me by my actions and that she is worth that effort. It is sustainable because it has become habit for me. She began to open up about some of the things she is feeling and thinking in regards to us and our breakup.
I think she us feeling guilty for having me over. She says she wants to be friends but her actions allude to more. Plus she still hasn't told anyone in her social circle that we are talking. The last few times we got together were not as happy as this one and every time we see each other she tends to go cold for a few days to a week.
I figure by the end of the year I will know for sure if there is a chance. It is hard to stay positive when she backs away like this. But so far she always comes back in a few days.
I have not told her to leave her new guy. I keep telling her that I want her back but she needs to make that decision herself. She is always suprised that I still want her. She did mention that she has a hard time seeing her own value.
When she reaches out again (I am guessing it will be this Sunday) I want to ask her this. "You have seen the effort that I am putting into us. If given a choice would you want to date the man I was when we were together or the man I am now?" If she says the new me I will just tell her to think about that.
Time will tell. But her current relationship needs to run its course. If I am the guy that tries to break them up then I have no chance. I do not talk badly about him as I do not know him. I think she will come around. It will just take more time than I can imagine. She is worth it though.
@@adamkeske7306 thanks for your reply.. coz i'm at the same situation like you. I just want his decision to be with me or with another girl.
After 1 month my ex started to contact me and started saying I miss you and I love you but she is committed to someone else. Should I respond to her I miss you and I love you? She also asked me to wait for her. I'm confused on what to do.
You don't want to be the backup plan, my friend. Let's move on
he broke up with me four weeks ago, we were long distance but only for a semester while I was abroad, so the distance will be closed soon. I told him I was not ready to be friends, we have done a no contact period, and now he messages me daily about lighthearted topics. He told me he would reconsider (but I shouldn't keep my hopes up) and we plan to meet when we're at uni within the next couple of weeks. I think he messages me because he feels guilty, but I told him I didn't want to help wean him off of talking to me or be a backup plan and he said that I am worth more than that and that is not why he talks to me. I am hopeless. Does he maintain contact just because he feels sorry for me and cares for me (but not in a relationship way)?
You won't know till you see him. My best advice is work on being the best you possible and if he means what he says he'll make it clear to you in his actions. Just be strong.
I'm going through a similar situation except our no contact is mutual. We agreed we'd meet in a month after working on ourselves and accept what we feel at that time. I believe we will work things out, but I'm also detached from the outcome. Feed your id he/she is your best friend and as soon as you don't go in with expectations and just be the best you things line up in place.
They want validation.. they’ll make up all kinds of stuff to only feel ok with themselves, not how you feel. It’s an old trick ppl use cuz they don’t wanna feel bad. I wouldn’t reply at all. He doesn’t wanna commit and you don’t have to be his friend either. Some ppl don’t ever get it. Move forward from this dude and get a real man that won’t take you for granted. Same happened to me.
2debuch98 I am on a kick to bring awareness to narcissist abuse in relationships. Look it up and see if it’s a match for what you are experiencing. Rule it out at least. It’s more common now than ever in dating scene and most people are unaware of what this is and what it looks like in a relationship until they are used, abused and thrown away. It’s awful and very real. You tube this topic just to educate yourself. It’s worth it and pass the information to friends who date. Younger people might not know this dangerous type of personality when dating! Just knowledge before it’s too late to bring awareness!
Everyone was right. He doesn’t care for me but for himself
Me and my ex broke up 2 weeks ago and she came over a couple times and we went to see a movie since then but we kinda got in another fight because of something small and she said and “ you almost got me back then you do this” so I told her I’m sorry and she left ignored me so I started the no contact just yesterday I tried before and she wouldn’t stop texting me and saying why aren’t you texting me. Do you think the no contact would work still ?
Boz 03 “you almost got me back then you do this” that seems super manipulative.. good luck to you tho bro
They don’t wanna get close. Love to them is when you are far away from them. She said that without letting you know at first?! That’s manipulative asf. Block her. She’ll go back and forth with you for years... and SHE dumped you.... she ain’t gonna respect you if you let her treat you however..
Boz 03 You should look up narcissistic personality traits and see if it matches the behaviors of this person. Sounds very manipulative and familiar. These people can’t form attachments never mind healthy relationships and there’s nothing you can do but move on. You will recognize the patterns instantly if you are in it. More coaches should bring this up as a possibility for people to rule out bc normal people don’t even know it’s a thing! It’s a VERY real thing and is more prevalent than ever in relationships today. People don’t hear about narcissism until they are used and abused and by then it’s too late. They just get away w it and on to the next! Rinse, repeat...Please take time to look it up and Save your sanity :) Pass the info so no one dates them. Fewer people to fill them up! ⛽️Fuel Crisis😂
I wish I watched this after successful winning my ex back after no contact. He opened up took me to dinner expressed his love for me. And I saw something that triggered my insecurities and I questioned him, and asked him why he contacted me. Then it was just a bad night from there. Now I can see he’s distant again. 🥺😣 I’m not sure what to do. I’m thinking no contact again. Someone help please !
What did you do since then?
We are still seeing one another hanging out and enjoying one another’s company. We both are focusing on our businesses more then a relationship. So whatever happens happens but I believe he hasn’t wanted to let me go because I have applied the no contact with him and he sees what it was like to not have me.
@@samanthagarcia832 Wishing you the best.
My relationship of 7 months ended about a month ago, and I followed your advice on no contact. I recently started a new job and my ex texted me congratulating me. We have been texting for a few days, just chit chat and a bit of catching up. I kept the talks light hearted, and didn't make an effort to keep the conversation going if it died off. She's been initiating most of the texting but it's been about a week now. Should I make an effort to go back to no contact if I feel like she's texting me just to see if i'm still in back-up plan mode? I don't want her to think of me just as a friend, and the way the conversations are going I feel like things are heading in that direction. We've been talking quite frequently since the break up and I don't think there's been enough time for her to truly feel the break up. Should I tell her I don't want to settle for being friends because I think we're worth more than that, or just keep the casual conversations going?
Kenpvchi i’m in the same situation
Just curious did u guys got together after that?
I’m the one who broke up with him and I tried about 5 days after the breakup to talk and get back to him. The love and connection is there but he’s angry and hurt. I was going through depression and it was an abrupt decision I made after we had an argument the day before. We talked for about 3 min before I broke up with him. I was inconsiderate of his feelings and didn’t really let him talk I couldn’t handle it. It’s been over 2 months and I broke down a few times and texted him. I am now NOT going to reach out unless it’s to get his stuff that is still at my house and I am going to tell his friend to tell him to get it. I love him so much and aware of my mistakes. I am working on myself and hopefully, he’ll work through his anger and maybe see it’s worth saving.
Well my ex dumped me and she didn't make me feel safe. She had problems with my belief systems and my hobbies so what advice would you give me?
Did your ex ever reach out to you???
@@archangelelmo No
I was dating this girl for about a month and I told her I loved her already. She said I shouldn't say that because I don't know her that well. But in the end she did say it. She had introduced me to her son which was a big thing for but she wanted too because we was getting stronger. Anyway last friday she said things were moving too quickly and she couldn't give me what I wanted. She said I'm a really nice guy and that I find what I'm looking for. I didn't know what to say I was shocked and upset and never replied bk and deleted her number. I'm so upset right now knowing I've lost this girl for good and it hurts like hell. Any advice
Stuart Flint no contact man. Don’t even try and reach out for her.
@Whatsnewtoday I know mate. But she cut me off like nothing. It fucking hurts.
@stuartflint39 that's awful, what ended up happening? Did you move on?
What about if I left him a book (as a suggestion) to read that would help us both in our futures, if we stayed together or not?! 😬
I did the same thing. Canada post lost it and I'm hoping it doesn't show up. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Great book but it will reset no contact. Leave them be. Let them reach out to you, in time.
@@thisisyourcaptainspeaking I did...& he reached out...still stuck though, lol. I give up. Best of luck with you..
I would imagine it comes of as controlling to them, like you are pushing a narrative.
Maybe I'm missing it but it sounds like I'm suppose to hold all my feelings in... It sounds like you used all the synonyms for disagreeing.... but maybe I misunderstood
Need emergency coaching Craig, it’s not offered on your site >.>
Sign up for a regular Skype. There are instructions on upgrading on them
I had purchased a Skype with you but put in the wrong email address, just reconfirm with me please I sent you an email
What Happens If You Threaten Her Sancho.??. lol..
Now I really watch what I say around her..
I been there still got her back 5 times
3 times she came back on her own