Teens Under Pressure: Lisa Damour, PhD | Rich Roll Podcast
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- čas přidán 28. 04. 2019
- Lisa Damour, PhD is a Yale educated psychotherapist & NYT best-selling author who specializes in education and child development. She writes the monthly “Adolescence” column for the New York Times, is a regular contributor to CBS News, speaks internationally, is a Senior Advisor to the Schubert Center for Child Studies at Case Western Reserve University, and serves as the Executive Director of Laurel School’s Center for Research on Girls.
They don’t call her the teen whisperer for nothing. Lisa gets girls. So if you are a parent of young humans trying to make the right moves -- or just want to better understand how young people think and why they behave as they do -- then this episode is appointment viewing.
Enjoy!
✌🏼🌱 - Rich
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LISA DAMOUR, PhD
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Hi I'm Rich Roll. I'm a vegan ultra-endurance athlete, author, podcaster, public speaker & wellness evangelist at large. But mainly I'm a dad of four. If you want to know more, the NY Times wrote some nice things.
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So much applies to me and my college freshman son - my last child to leave. He and I became very close his last two years of high school. When he left to pursue an incredible opportunity 12 hours away from home, it about killed me to leave him on that campus and drive that long trip back home without him. It has been one of the most difficult adjustments I've ever had to make. Since he has been there, he hasn't kept in contact with me very much. That has been difficult. I know he has been busy as it is a very rigorous university, but I also know he is thriving. I have to find comfort in that and not expect him to meet my emotional needs of our changing relationship - as it should be. I almost didn't listen to this podcast as I didn't think it would relate to me. It did. It had me in tears. Thank you.
Ironically, I just finished her book, Untangled, just last week. Brilliant work. Like Rich, I have a similarly-aged daughter to Rich. When I first started listening to RRP at the beginning of the year, I thought, man, he should do a podcast that addresses some of the anxiety and mental health issues facing teens today. It's an epidemic. Glad to see her on the show.
I'm so glad to know the work of Lisa. Really helps put my own relationship with my mom in perspective.
Great Interview Rich. My daughter has just turned 14 so in the eye of the storm with this at the moment. I think every parent with a teenager should block out a couple of hours and watch this because there is a lot of very important insights that will help navigate this tricky period.
Omg!!!!
Thank you for this episode. The hope I got from this brought me to tears. Everything is gold ❤️
This is in Rich's top 25 for me. Every parent and child should listen to this podcast and/or read her books. Very wise advice.
Enjoy all your podcasts but I did find this especially helpful. Thanks and keep up the great work!
as always you never disappoint. As a teen this made me really reflect of how difficult my parents job actually is. This did not just made me feel grateful for everything my parents have done for me but it also raised a lot of consciousness in my behavior. Thank you for guiding us through a conscious path. You and your family are pure entlightment.
Awesome topic. I don't have kids, but 7th grade was my year of hell----with no technology to scapegoat. Bullied and a bully. A time in my life that has led me to being a forever work in progress. So helpful to just listen to these discussions. Thank you.
Rene Pere Yes!! 7th grade is the worst!
Really interesting topic. Thanks for another great insightful conversation
I've been listening to almost all of the interviews with Dr Damour recently and I have to say, although a very long interview, your questions and thoughtful input really brought this interview up a notch. So many really great take-aways. Thank you for the deep dive in this podcast!
Yes! More on parenting!!!
I came to the vegan/WFPB diet just before pregnancy. Now, I have a toddler. I'd love to hear you interview a doctor about healthy pregnancy, breast feeding and early childhood nutrition. There is so little written on this.
Fabulous. So insightful.
Great discussion, thank you :)
Excellent discussion!
Here come the experts...and 3,2,1...Great episode. I even made notes. I have a 15 year old boy and it even hit spot on with what I need to teach him more of NOT to do.
This of all topics I thought I would not even watch at first. I resonated with everything in this as a 47 y/o male with no kids. I initially thought I'd make it tonite for 30 minutes then to bed. Cut to the end of this 2 hr conversation.......especially at 1:49......Dr Lisa stated : we want Goldi Locks stress---not too much or too little: we want kids to have something go wrong, get upset about it, get empathy, and then figuring out how to handle......I would argue that it's not the figure out how to recover piece as the key to recovering from difficulty. It may be equally important the getting empathy which is necessary to enable recovery. if no adult around even knows what it means to empathize, (much less able to show it), thus in your mind, it's you alone as a very young person dealing with this, then I would venture to say that your playing field for dealing/coping is very disadvantaged. Without getting empathy, you'd be missing the phase of being informed from someone older (that you typically look up to) that it's possible to figure a way through this, or to problem solve...you may not even be aware that it's possible to get through whatever problem without someone else identifying with you/connecting with what you're going through...Hell you might even be discouraged from thinking that it's possible to handle a tough situation. Thanks for asking all the right questions Rich.
disappointed to see no discussion about the changes in culture that drive kids to their phones, that prevent them from sleeping. it isn't just the tech. it's productivity culture, it's competition - at school, in sports, and socially - and it's the fact that many kids are not allowed to just... leave the house to see a friend because their parents are busy or afraid.
Thank you for sharing and putting together another great podcast. 🇨🇦😎
Well, I learned that once again, my teen falls through all the cracks, and is really represented very little in any of this discussion. It felt slightly too simplistic for my ability to gain helpful incite. I thought it fairly interesting, yet not apropos to the experiences we are having in our home. Maybe because since birth, I applied attentive, attachment, and child's rights perspectives, including the difficult waters of consent, especially where authority is concerned, alternative schooling, democratic, or 'unschooling', the rainbow of not just sexual identity but also how biology and gender does not fit into a tidy package, how humans and relationships between humans can be so challenging- Being predictable and trying to have my kid's back, yet our issues seem to stem from our doing, and being so different from the rest of neighbours and society in general, at a time when the kid wants nothing more than to not stand out, and is more advanced in emotional relationship behaviours between others, than the rest of their peers. They see the learned catty behaviour or power drunk of meanness happening and tries to use non violent communication and is just pummeled by these others who have parents that basically believe in lord of flies theories of group dynamics or even better haven't even read it so just do not think about anything. There are homophobes, misogynists, girls using secrets as commodity, bigots of immigrants, ableists,... Oh yes, and we are vegans, too. It's a mess, and trying to be able to get a space for my kid, and find peers that are emotional equals, is the most challenging, especially during the days of covid19.
they need to have websites blocked too
29:50 about technology dependency
For all those that do NOT have kids, think about all this, if I knew I would have 0 kids, 😔
This podcast, and it’s opening remarks on porn (pleasure is bad!), provides a perfect bookend to the Goggins podcast on pain (pain is good, the more the better!!). And yes, most porn also illustrates our obsession with power/dominance/control, but those ideals permeate most of our cultural expressions, it’s who we are. The main theme of porn is pleasure, and I completely get that for centuries we’ve taught ourselves that pleasure is sinful, but can we begin to let go of that already ,,,.
(Please excuse this rant - I very much appreciate Rich Roll, even when he provides fodder for me to strongly object!)
Bernie I respectfully disagree, and I think the guest touches on this with her commentary reagrding anal sex. I agree that our American society has a religious-based history of rejecting pleasure, but Porn isn't equal to pleasure andI think conflating the two is at the heart of the problem. Porn doesn't display OUR obsession with power, dominance and control, it displays MEN's obsession with power and dominion over women. I'm not saying that all men love the most popular porn (Most popular search is 'Teen' with titles like 'barely-legal asian teen gets p*ssy destroyed' and other obivously violent titles), and obviously I'm refering to heterosexual porn. I can't speak for all women, but as a young woman I am well aware that porn isn't made for womens pleasure. This is common knowledge among my male peers too. Are these themes of women's savage degradation really permeate our psyche? Or is exposure to traumatic content at a young impressionable age really what drives the lust for harder and harder content?
As for the anal comment, I mean to say: Women on average get no pleasure or accute pain from anal sex- and yet it's popularity amoung the average porn--consumer (men and boys) has only increased. This is an example of porn =/= pleasure. You need only watch one standard anal porno to see the woman is not even able to pretend to enjoy it through gritted teeth. I agree whole-heartedly that we must embrace pleasure, but lets truly embrace it for everyone and not this twisted commercial version that makes up a multibillion dollar industry off the backs of frequenlty exploited, coerced and sex-trafficked women and girls.
😊
Really good interview , came here for Lisa, was interested in rich roll until I saw the majority of his interviews are with men…
Que pena esta en ingles😭😭😭
Me encanta escucharla pero no se inglessss
So grateful you had “The Teenager Whisperer” on your show!!! Wow, I’m so incredibly inspired & reassured by this episode. I would love
To find an equivalent to her for and “Autism spectrum whisperer.” I have 3 boys, two with ASD (higher functioning) and that is an entirely different breed altogether. Any suggestions please reply to me! Thank you !
Never go full feminist!
Great show, Rich, thank you
OMG!!!! I wouldnt send my mad dog to you for treatment!!! Hmmmm, come to think of it might not me a bad idea!
How the heck did you get a PhD? Did you but it off the internet?
she's really pretty
Very, very beautiful!
There something call, WORK, give 'em a lawn mower, a broom, dust pan, paint brush, and a rag and almost all their problems will go away.
She lost me at girls are having these “powerful” conversations....
48:25 or so... listen up
The apathetic icebreaker additonally present because detective spectroscopically discover to a trashy opinion. divergent, guiltless twig
This was the most entropic and shallow interview I have heard on Rich Roll podcast. I forced myself to listen to the whole thing because I needed to see if reality was ever going to emerge, to no avail. I have three points I need to make. 1. The hypothalamus- pituitary- adrenal (HPA) axis is what imprints trauma onto us. There wasn't a mention of the scars that come from bullying, harassment, and pornography. The adversity teenagers are facing today is harming them at the moment and ongoing in a dose dependent manner. 2. There is something I call synthetic adversity that can only increase the recovery time of daily traumatic events. Synthetic adversity is most prevalent in violent video games and videos. It continues the HPA disruption into the evening and then damages sleep. 3. Another serious issue that is absolutely necessary in any discussion of mental adaptation is symbiology. The destruction of the food chain marketed to teenagers is so bad that the microbiome diversity in these kids is abysmal. They are lacking all the critical precursors for neurotransmitters for healthy cognitive function. It is absolutely affecting their psychology.
Lacking these facts, I found this interview to provide a great disservice. It is psychologically inept. I do not have a PhD in psychology but I have taught 5th grade for years. Data will show what you can understand. Unfortunately, I do not think this interviewee understands very much about child psychology in the 21st century.
Wow. Fascinating comment. What exactly do you mean by the food chain portion of your comment? Thank you very much!
@@jimparsons4312 Processed junk food, fast food, and drinks/snacks brimming with refined sugar are harmful to the symbiotic relationships between kids' brains and their developing microbiome. The diversity in that relationship is dependent upon resistant starch (RS) and fermentable fiber (FF), plus several other plant substances. Lacking those two (RS and FF) in addition to the explosion of convenient foods in the food chain is causing severe disruption in neurotrophic biochemical products entering kids' brains. In my opinion, it is these specific changes to the food chain which has caused the explosion in prison incarceration in this country. I would ask anyone who wants to see the research on this to google gut-brain-microbiome axis.
Thank you for this information Donny. Googling now!!
Donny you have raised some very valid points which could indeed be contributors to such a conversation, however with time restraints not all subjects can be covered in one conversation. Although to dismiss and attempt to devalue an interview that is informative and educational for many (even though it does not include every detail of all contributors to these issues discussed) is arrogant and spiteful. You are free to add your perspective and/or research but to pick apart 2 people that are attempting to assist people says alot about where you are at.
A lot of what she’s is saying comes down to PERSONAL PERSPECTIVE.
Do NOT be drawn in by some of this BS.