WHAT TEENAGERS NEED (And How To Provide It) | Lisa Damour, PhD x Rich Roll Podcast
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 5. 08. 2024
- Rich Roll talks with psychotherapist Lisa Damour, Ph.D. about how to equip teens with the tools they need to navigate complex emotions and an ever-changing world. To read more about Lisa and peruse the full show notes, go heređđŸbit.ly/richroll748
âđŒđ± - Rich
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LISA DAMOUR'S FIRST APPEARANCE ON THE PODCAST
âą Teens Under Pressure: ...
TIMESTAMPS
00:00:00 - Intro
00:02:36 - 2020 and it's impact on our teens
00:03:32 - Empathy for Teens and All the Changes They are Undergoing
00:13:51 - The Pandemic's Effect on Teens and Mental Health
00:22:25 - Not Parenting from Fear
00:24:30 - Parent Reactions are Critical
00:26:47 - Emotional Regulation
00:28:53 - AD BREAK
00:29:54 - Setting Parameters Around How Emotions are Expressed
00:49:26 - Back to COVID
01:02:01 - Delay social media and web browsing as much as possible
01:14:14 - Viewing Teenagers as Having Two Sides
01:15:59 - Kids Need Both Warmth and Structure
01:18:27 - Teenagers are able to detect dishonesty and hypocrisy
01:22:49 - Still Wrapping Our Heads Around How the Pandemic Rocked Us
01:25:49 - Parameters on How Much Kids Have Their Phones
01:26:56 - Sleep, Exercise, Nutrition and Purpose Aid in Mental Health
01:53:56 - What's the one thing that you want parents to take away?
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Hi I'm Rich Roll. I'm a vegan ultra-endurance athlete, author, podcaster, public speaker & wellness evangelist. But mainly I'm a dad of four. If you want to know more, visit my website or check out these two the NY Times articles:
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This woman is brilliant. Her book Untangled literally saved my relationship with my daughter and me as a parent. She has so much wisdom and truly understands our kids and how to best support them through this tumultuous time.
This is a gift to humanityâŠTHANK YOU! My teen has been angry at me for nearly 4 years now. There is hopeâŠand gratitude.
Ăâ€â€â€â€
My kid is not even 4months and Iâm taking notes. I love this. Thank you
Me too
I feel like the universe is looking out for me. So grateful for you, Rich, for delivering content that feels just in the nick of time on too many occasions to mention.
Hey†i am a Turkish single mom of a 13 yr old girl. I love your podcasts and your being. I laughed with u on so many almost irreversible âgood luckâ moments in this talk! My girl and I both have AdHd. Yeah, bring it on!!! We call each other in a very Gaborâs way-of-compassionately âdumb & dumberâ on many occasions đ . This morning, she was possessed by her need to send an sms with an urgency & took so much time wearing her shoes that i finally screamed loudly âshoes!â To which she replied louder âsockssssssâ. Than, giggles! Sums it up! I wish we could be friends with you and your family. I enjoy & learn so much from u. Thank you.
I would love to hear you talk with Dr. Shefali on parenthood, and radical awakenning â€
Lisa is so good. Sheâs helped me and my family so much. I just wish Iâd found her sooner.
One tween/teen challenge that you may have already covered in another conversation, Rich, is eating whole foods plant-based. My daughter says her "friends" say how mean her parents must be since we don't pack her lunch with foods that they eat. It creates a lot of frustration and disappointment on both sides. Please share how you navigate WFPB with tweens/teens! đ
There isn't a good reason to feed growing tween/teens a plant-based diet (barring very rare health issues). That isn't a good decision for their health/well-being, so I'd strongly recommend you evaluate why you're doing that at all... Children should have a normal relationship with foods, so any diet is very likely misguided.
I've read 2 of Dr. Damour's books and highly recommend em. Extremely valuable info within.
Great conversation, listening to it for a morale boost after a tough month of parenting. Thank you, Dr. Damour.
So important!! This is adults taking responsibility. Beautiful
Oof. This is a gift for sure. Our teen had a mental health breakdown last year. SI, an attempt and SH landed them in the hospital then residential treatment. There were six other kids who were in the hospital for suicide - shocking yet it seems like that's where we are.
It has been the hardest thing i've ever done and i'm so sorry my child is struggling yet wanting to push us away. Anyway, thanks for this Lisa and Rich.
I'm sorry that your kid is struggling, so hard to watch. Been there 11 years ago. I hope you have good help, which unfortunately is very hard to find. My son's Dr said to us, " we can help, he can get better." I literally didn't believe him at the time, as things were so bad. Know it will take time. It can get better. Talk with other parents in the same situation. We didn't have that, and we said a lot of stupid things all with good intentions. We are so thankful for our son's Doctor. Depression makes them push away all things that can help them- friends, family, interests, hope. it is a terrible place for any kid to be. Hang in there.
Thank you so much. As a parent of a 13 year old girl this is so timely and so eye opening. You thinik you're doing it differently but in the end making the same mistakes. Thank you Rich and team for all you do.
Lisa's 2019 Ep was one of my all time favourites... Loved this one too and will pick up the book. Thanks Rich and team.
This is fabulous! Thanks Rich! đđ»đ
Phenomenal episode. I was captivated the entire time. Thank you both.
thank you for inspiring conversation , so important for us parents to evolve, grow and to be present for our kids. loved listening
Thank you so much! This podcast is so valuable! đđ»đ
Wow. This was incredible. Thank you! â€
Lisa Damour is excellent. I highly recommend picking up her 3 books.
This is just awesome. Thank you!!!
Pandemic was terrible for teens full stop. Thanks for such a caring voice.
Love it. Amazing. Thank you for the education.
I really appreciate this episode thank you! I have an 11 year old right now and noticing the shifts and it breaks my heart.
More to come so donât allow these natural fluctuations to be more than they are because while your emotions are understandable in a given situation, just know itâs an evolution of them becoming an adult by trial and error.
I'm with you, Erin. It's fricken hard.
What a pleasant conversation.
great content. thank you. Just want to point out that kids playing video games non stop as a distraction is not always a bad thing if the kid is suicidal. I focused on video games as a problem, and later realized it was coping mechanism. As she mentioned, "what are the costs?" For some, video games are literally a life saver. Keep the focus on the long term goal.
First time listener (new subscriber) âŠâŠ 10 minutes in and I feel like Iâm not at a loss in the world anymore. Thank you ! And yes, I apparently chew too weird too !!
đđđ thank you . What a divine synchronicity this is .
very interesting, thanks Rich and Dr. Damour :)
This is the author of 3 books. Highly recommended.
I don't have children but nonetheless I loved the two hours plus. Specifically, 'appreciated Lisa's very deliberate, contemplative approach to answering Rich's terrific questions.
incredible conversation; you found a new fan with me!
Thanks I needed to hear this. My kid is 13 and just said she hates me. Itâs a busy time and I am hoping to be the best father I can. Itâs all too much but hope I survive it. I really love this kid ai just want to help her get through this.
11:17 oh, man! you were reading my mind with 100% accuracyđ
Can I also recommend Gabor Mate, "Hold on to your Kids"
Itâs a bit old now, pre- smart phones, social media, etcâŠbut one of my favorites. Highly recommended. Co-authored with Gabor Mate.
Thank you for enlightening conversation.I have 3 kids and I tell u I am confused as F.11,8,3 oldâŠbut I love it-itâs not easy-doesnât even come close to describe the difficulty..but the rewards are heart melting â€ïžthank you
The production quality on this video was top-notch. You can tell a lot of time and effort went into making it.
Great EP here enjoyed the wisdom shared... Thanks Rich for having this important convo., as a mom myself of a 14 yr old young man this was much appreciated.... đđđ
When girls are saying they suffer, boys suffer too just not saying they are
off topic, but pleaseâŠwhere are the glass water bottles from? Now, on to the podcast.
Is there any podcast that is meant for teenagers to listen to ?
When you're kid doesn't want to knock about with you anymore, đđđ
My son is 9 years and he acts like teenager. Moments itâs so hard. It was helpful information. I really need more patience and to learn just to listen and hear him. Still not sure how to make him do the basic stuff without arguing( like throwing his dirty socks to the right place)đ€·đ»ââïž
Or you could have called that section of the book, âItâs Really Hard to Be A Kinder, First, Second, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Nineth, Tenth, Eleventh, and Twelfth Grade Girl.â
What about how to naturally fix Ulcerative colitis??? đ
Without watching I can answer this easily: First, a mom and a dad. Second, a stable home. Third, peers who arenât getting into stupid shit. Fourth, parents who parent and give their kids a good moral foundation to live their lives from. Thatâs about it.
Dear RichâŠI hope your parents were not listening about you saying the negative way they brought you upâŠ. It had to be hurtfulâŠyour kids might feel the same way about you one day, no matter how much efforts you put into bringing them up⊠itâs one thing to be told such a thing privately, another to tell the world about the failing of your parents.Nobody is perfect, you must know this by now. I am sorry, but I feel for your parentsâŠ. ;( teenagers and seniors are misunderstood these days⊠I am both âŠđđ»đ§Ą
Hey, Sunflower I don't disagree with your comments, but 'just some context. Rich has referenced his parents not in an entirely positive light on numerous occasions in the past on his podcast. I suspect, too, that Rich has had these conversations with his parents. Oh, and one other thing. I don't interpret his comments about his parents either on this particular show or in other, previous show as a 'failing of his parents'. In other words, 'failing' and being 'imperfect'' (or as you say, 'nobody is perfect') are two very different things.
She lost me at "Kids of other genders"...
Yes, that was crazy đą
She's just looking to avoid being "cancelled" by people unlike us. As someone new to who she is, I came away considering her and her thoughts the absolute best and most insightful on the subject.
As a teen, I disagree with most of this. Simply allowing someone to experience life for themselves is fundamental. Parents should be passing down their knowledge rather than attempting to change their child. Any sort of manipulation is bad, so why are parents pushing views to their kids without knowing the answer to the child reacting to said view.
@Jake For a moment, imagine that you have a family member that you deeply care for and then times that by 1,000,000,000 And then imagine your efforts in watching that person walk head first towards a fire and you try your hardest to help them to not get burned all the while not touching them physically or mentally. Thatâs what it feels like to be a loving parent. đ đźđąâ€
What do teens need? A parent that will be their PARENT and not try to be their friend. These misguided parents these days from my generation just want to friend their kids instead of parent them.
I believe I can be both. Much love
I was always my kids friend. I never punished them. All 3 are thriving, loving caring adults. We have an excellent relationship because their father and I always made the relationship top priority no matter what happening in the moment. Be the parent and not the friend is something that has been passed down without any thought given to what it means.