Entitled Parents Abuse, Neglect Me, Favouring My Bully Siblings. Now Refused to Send Me to the Sc...
Vložit
- čas přidán 5. 08. 2024
- 00:00 1st story:
I discovered a family secret which allowed me to escape my entitled Mom and Stepdad's abuse. (Playful-Degree3813 in r/EntitledPeople)
14:02 2nd story:
My [48M] estranged brother [50M] who caused my family to disowned me for being gay contacted me because he needs help with his son [14?M] (throwaway38281 in r/relationships)
24:33 3rd story:
I broke a promise with my husband and I think he wants to divorce me. AMITAH? (u/fatjeezus69 in r/AITAH)
To submit your story, kindly use the provided email. If you prefer exclusion, please notify us. secretvoices25@gmail.com
Gameplay by @ninakori
regret after cheating, when you are in a secret relationship, when your in a open relationship, how to be more open in a relationship, husband keeping secrets from wife, wife keeping secrets from husband, how to take care of your wife, narcissist and family relationships, toxic relationship story, reddit stories revenge on familyreddit stories entitled family, reddit stories family disowned me, reddit stories revenge on family, reddit stories entitled siblings, marriage revenge full story
podcast reddit, reddit storytime reddit top posts r/confession r/entitledparents r/tifu r/prorevenge r/maliciouscompliance r/choosingbeggers r/entitledpeople r/IDOWorkHereLady r/Idontworkherelady r/personalfinance r/AmITheA**hole r/AITA - Zábava
All the people saying that he should help his nephew but never mention it was his father that bullied him isn't going to help that kid at all. So you're telling the OP to completely disregard his own feelings to help some random kitties never met who is literally the spawn of a person who took his entire life away retta is truly brainwashed
Rick very well could be using the nephew to frame the brother he hates for something.
I agree with the sentiment here, and that would be my reasoning as well, but it would have led me to a very different course of action. OP is obviously aware of his own situation, and I think Reddit understands the facts as well, that's not contested. The brother can eat a dick, lol.
But the issue remains on how to proceed with his nephew. OP has no obligation to his brother or even to his nephew. But I would focus more on my obligation to myself and upholding my own principles.
I'd write the kid a message, explaining in very broad terms the reason for the estrangement. I wouldn't single out OP's brother, many participated in his mistreatment, they are all guilty. But neither would I protect them.
_________________________________________________
"I was disowned by the family for my sexuality. While it seems attitudes have softened a bit recently, and efforts have been made to reconnect with me, their past actions have instilled in me a harsh truth;
I will never be a son, grandson, brother or uncle. I will be the gay son, the gay grandson, the gay brother, the gay uncle in the same way racists like to mention their 'black friend' or ableists point to their 'disabled cousin'. Acceptance shouldn't have an asterisk next to it.
That understanding is how I have chosen who I associate with and in whom I invest my energy. That is what kept me alive and allowed me to thrive in their absence, gave me a sense of dignity and pride stronger than the self-loathing they were so eager to cultivate. I hope you can see the wisdom in that, both in how you treat others and yourself. That's the best advice I can give you, and if taken to heart, it's enough.
If your situation ever becomes dire, and you need to reach me, your aunt is able to get ahold of me. I wish you the best. --Uncle OP"
_________________________________________________
Something like that. Fortune-cookie platitudes mixed with an honest, yet vague explanation that maintains boundaries. Rational, dignified. Yeah, it's doing the bare minimum in this situation, but the fact that OP would be willing to do anything at all, and still imposes reasonable limits on that also speaks volumes beyond what is written. This kid is old enough to read between the lines.
That is how I would proceed, but I can find no fault with OP's choice. He has to do what is right for himself as well. There's no wrong answer as long as OP is being true to his own ethics. He can empathize, but that doesn't make it his problem.
That last commenter in the vid is genuinely fucking insane too. Mans went and tried to shit on OP's parade and essentially said "do it for dan" but dan is a nephew. Like, 8 years of emotional and psychological blackmail? You want OP to just override that? Deval is *insane*. Where on God's unholy earth did they get off thinking they could write that and not get immediately slammed for it lmao
Story 1: If someone had gotten wind of how %£?@ed up OP's mother and stepfather treated him, they would've contacted social services to remove him from them, placed him in the foster care system, and then, with a stable and loving family, through closed adoption; in fact, OP should've been removed from his mother and stepfather, and placed with a loving foster/adoptive family, and he would have a good life.
The man, the myth, the legend, Devon. Moral story: be like Devon.
story 1 this is why cheaters must never ever ever be given custody since this happens more and more often each year passess.
Agreed.
We all need a “Devon” in our lives.
CORRECTION: We should ALL be like Devon!
I have a Devon, Her name is Debjani,
she is younger than me but behaves like a big sister to me
@@Zayification we can all be their for each other.
Devon is the absolute best. I knew a Devon named Alice, she used to beat up bullies both girls and boys, she us now married to one of the boys she used to protect.
Devon the goat
Devon the GOAT
“So, dear nephew, let me tell you about how i was relentlessly bullied by your dad, how he gave me crippling mental issues that i have to treat to this day and how i overcome it - somewhat. Oh, and btw, we are meeting in a mcDonalds because i cannot be in the same room with him without getting a panic attack.”
Like, seriously, what does the brother think is gonna happen.
Also, “your mother loves you no matter what” - in what way? In spirit? If you love you show it, you don’t do it hush hush so the person you love (in this case her own SON) don’t find out and might think you actually care.
OP don't break the NC you did that for a reason and your family except your sister don't deserve to be let back into your family.
22:22 That comment is the stupidest opinion I have heard and while I see their point in maintaining relationships it was up to the brother mother dad and grandparents, not OP. He doesn't owe anyone anything especially not an apology and doesn't have to let bygones be bygones.
Edit: clean up
Honestly, OP's family shouldn't have disowned him anyways over being gay. Family is supposed to love you unconditionally.
The only explanation is the brother made that comment lol
I agree. Sounds like it was from OPs family who's trying to rugsweep the whole context of why OP is NC with the family. I also find it disturbing how the family talks about OP as if he's deceased, and OP now is just the "gay friend" where OPs brother is asking for advice. I'd tell OP to stay clear for sure.
To be honest, if I was OP, I would have just laid out the truth to his ex brother’s son. “Your father is homophobic and will make your life miserable and so will your grandparents ” and all that jazz, cause that’s what OP knows of his ex-family. Also, OP literally mentioned he got blackmailed and he did try to reach out to his ex-parents but got ignored. Yeah, who exactly is the one who “doesn’t want to forgive and let it go”? Cause OP did tried and they ignored. Hypocrites, all of them. I’ll probably end up making the poor kid more scared of his family, so it’s a good thing I’m not OP. I’m petty as fuck and hell be damn if I would think of the child at the moment of pettiness when I hear that they talk about OP like he’s the one who didn’t tried to reconcile when he fucking did!
Reddit really wanted to place this man with an abuser that's messed up
On story 2 I think Op shoudl send a message to his nephew telling him, if he ever feels unsafe with his parents to come to his house and explain, in as much detail as possible, what his father put him through while blackmailing him for his sexuality and that the grandparents never did anything and the only person whi has respected his boundaries and dignity is his aunt.
On the third story..as a Nigerian woman born and raise in Nigeria with soft-traditional values, your first mistake was marrying a Nigerian man.
When story 1 OP said they got bullied for being introverted and suspended for fighting back, I felt that shit in my bones. School systems here with their zero tolerance policies punish everyone blindly. Your choices as a bully target are fight back and get in trouble for it, or let yourself be assaulted and do nothing. It's pathetic.
2nd Story- OP you don’t have to makeup with the family just because Rick finally apologized, he only reached out because he needed something from you, if he didn’t have a feeling that his son was gay, he wouldn’t have reached out. And don’t listen to the last commenter, you don’t have to be the bigger person when you were the one mistreated and kicked out of the family. You don’t even know Rick’s son, he’s pretty much a stranger.
I think people confuse forgiveness with ignoring what the person did and keeping them in their life
Forgiveness isn't for the other person. It's for you. It's saying that they have no room in your head at all anymore.
It's healthy
The point you should get to is when the people who hurt you come into your head, you don't feel an overwhelming hatred for them where you burn with revenge and hurt.
They're not worth it
Forgiveness doesn't mean you reconcile.
Forgiveness doesn't mean they shouldn't be punished.
Forgiveness doesn't mean that what they did was OK.
Forgiveness doesn't mean that you have to keep them in your life.
Forgiveness doesn't mean they deserve a second chance
They don't deserve forgiveness. Most people don't. But we forgive so we can move forward.
You're never gonna forget.
NEVER
But it's a lesson you should keep. That's you recognize red flags and don't tolerate foolishness
There are too many people who are bitter about little things and who refuse to forgive and end up becoming terrible people.
No matter what happened, not forgiving will affect your life. I don't care if you push it out of your head and try not to think about them.
When you don't work things out with yourself and go through the stages of grief (yes you have to go through them when you've been hurt badly) it will absolutely destroy you eventually.
If you think about someone and you get hatred and feel rage, you have not forgiven them and it will affect your mental state.
My father is 80 years old. He still hates his stepdad who has been dead for 30 years. He's a miserable hateful old man.
He covered it up for the longest time. He didn't bring him up or mention anything him but every time someone mentioned him, he would get upset. It wasn't the type of upset where "I've been hurt but I'm not gonna hate them and I'm overcoming it"
It was the "I'm glad he's dead/ I'm glad he's burning in hell/ I hope he never stops suffering/if he was still alive i would kill him" kinda upset
Yeah. Don't be like that
I've been raped, emotionally, verbally and mentally abused by my ex husband and i honestly can't say i hate him.
Yes it is hard sometimes but i push it out and refuse to let him live in my head because he doesn't deserve that space
Yeah, no. I do not forgive someone who has not asked for and shown through their actions that they have taken responsibility for what they did. Forgiving someone who has done nothing to deserve it is a hollow victory. Don't fool yourself.
I say, understand why the person did what they did and then move on. You thought the person was someone they weren't and thus are disappointed when you find out who they really are, when you find out that you misjudged them, so I say just get over your disappointment.
Usually I'm the one pointing out that forgiveness is you going "ok I'm letting go, I'm not going to hold onto the burden that you've put on me with your actions."
But I must admit that sometimes people do things that are unforgivable (it's a word in our vocabulary for a good reason). I have 2 cases like that and I'll never forgive them even though I wasn't directly hurt by them.
Devon is the G O A T
This brought tears to mine eyes.
The Lord Blessed Devon.... he's a chosen. ❤❤❤
It's a good thing Reddit isn't a thing in Westeros; some redditors would definitely be so full of themselves as to have the Hound try to pal it up with the Mountain and let bygones be bygones. Some wounds won't heal, and some people won't change.
2nf story, that comment saying op was bad for jot reaching out sucks so much. Op was kicked out and abandoned, ignored and abused. Op has 0 responsavikitybto do anything for that family
I would tell the nephew that his dad is only “supportive” because he knows what he did to his own brother. Like wth. Also I think people think that the son is like a teenager or something but it’s been 24 years. The son is likely now 24 or at least in his 20s. He’ll be fine knowing what kind of person his dad actually is. (Wrote this comment before finding out the nephew’s age but my point still stands)
The nephew’s 16 they said it in the post
Story 2, seeee this is why i won't marry into certain cultures.
I'm the child of immigrants. Hell to the no am i gonna marry someone from either culture.
Technically neither is known for disrespecting women in modern society but the old social attitudes are still there where women were disrespected.
I'm not gonna get into this type of relationship with someone whose very culture has made it normal to mistreat women
This is NOT a race thing. It is CULTURAL.
I'm not marrying any type of Asian, I'm not marrying an African, I'm not marrying anyone in specific Hispanic cultures because I KNOW what they're like.
I honestly don't even care if they're the child of immigrants like me.
I'm as red blooded of an American as you can get but i had to fight my parents on it. I had to fight their opinions and their pressure to be a certain way to please them. And unless something who is the child of immigrants has done that, I'm not gonna even think about it cuz I'm not ending up like this girl.
Sometimes even then i wouldn't.
Don't just marry someone because you "love them"
Look at everything that marriage entails. Look at what their cultural attitude is. Look at their parents
My very best friend's mother told us when we were around twenty-three, "Under no circumstances should you marry an African man". Mom was from a West African country, not Nigeria, btw. At the time I thought that was funny, but her mother married a South American man, her sister a Swiss man, and even her brother married an American woman.
Over the years I have come to understand just how different that continent and Asia are so very different culturally, even while appearing superficially Western. And this is not a racial thing. I would not recommend a very American woman to marry a white South African man either. It's not in their DNA, it is a very strong societal thing, and women are definitely not first class citizens.
And about the Caribbean, one young Black Jamaican female comedian refers to West Indian men as "nautical Nigerians". I was ROFLMAO at that one.
Ive noticed that with immigrant family's they do whatever possible to never even date or marry within their culture, or if they do they marry someone who isnt the son or daughter of immigrants and are like 3 or 4 generations removed
Agreed! I'm 1st generation American and you are 💯 correct. Hard pass.
Thats cool and all but it doesn't pertain to the 2nd story at all
Story 3 idk i think OP is YTA. He showed his true colors before they got married and she accepted the conditions, culture, and marriage.
Devon is a real G
God damn boomer comment near the end of story 2. “But faaaaaamily!” Jfc.
Seriously, probably blames op for being the ‘problem’ in the family as well because of how he worded his comment too.
No, do not blame boomers for that. I have heard this from every generation.
He's also really making a lot of assumptions about OP
The way the comment is written,it reads like someone that knows OP. I'm just wondering if someone found OP's post. It could be the sister or the brother. Or someone else in the family.
Or maybe I haven't had enough coffee yet this morning.
@@cyndirankin I agree, buuuut it’s definitely more of a boomer thing. Also saying ‘bad show’ they’re either a troll or genuinely old. Very very uncommon phrase nowadays
S2: that commenter talking about mending fences needs to shut up. If that’s not wat op wants to do he doesn’t need to and nobody has any right to try to force him to either.
This content is really interesting, I like it a lot.
Story 2's final commenter is probably the single most stereotypical sanctimonious Redditor I have heard in a while. Just spewing absoloute crap 😂
Also, given that they pay their writers the high wages of $0.00 per hour, I think they're getting what they paid for.
62nd story do not get involved with your shifty family, especially you brother, if he didn't need your help would he still reach out?
Commenting for the algo
First in chat
❤️❤️❤️
Change the gender in the last story and see how fast the comments change
Story 3- All those people talking about counseling just don't understand. This is a major CULTURAL issue, and MAYBE, if the counselor is an American of Nigerian or West African descent, they could have at least a discussion of what is going on in their marriage, and the husband will be more likely to respect the counselor.
But I can tell them what is going on. Op is a second class citizen and always will be, the husband is to be obeyed and respected at all times, and the husband's parents are to be served, revered and respected no matter how horrible they treat their DIL. Also, when the husband strays (which he will), it is "just what a man does, and what is wrong with you for being upset about it. A man has needs."
Op had stars in her eyes, thinking she was marrying someone from a different culture, and had a "love conquers all" mindset. It doesn't, and she doesn't love him, she lusts him. Big difference. More people should learn the difference, rather than whining that, "but I love him so much, even when he is abusing me" crap.
Divorce is the only sane option here, and she should go scorched earth, maybe even get a Nigerian-American lawyer from a different tribe, like an Igbo.
Strength is respected, compromise is seen as weakness, so she needs to remember that and practice it with her soon to be ex and his family. Op, be confident and unyielding, because you are right in everything you are thinking, so act like it.
Day 220 of commenting to help secretvoices
Devon the goat