How To Prepare For A Custody Evaluation
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- čas přidán 1. 08. 2024
- I used to be a child custody evaluator and to be part of the industry, I have learned a fair share of knowledge and that's what I share with you in this video. Here are 5 tips to prepare for a child custody evaluation.
Watch and Enjoy!
Dr. Paul Jenkins
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#LiveOnPurpose
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Your 5 tips which everyone needs to follow to resolve all family custody issues. Key is do not show yourself a victim regardless, just work concerns by taking proper coaching use diplomacy and that will be the best interest of the children too at end of the day. Fights and egos to put down each other down only hurts you and your family and others make money and more budget will be given to social services giving more services to ppl who do not just simply understand the basics. Which your video beautifully describes. The best gift you can give to your kids is allow other parent to love his or her kids. Nothing more important than that. Muhammad Awais, Sahar dad, I miss you all
Sahar Khan, Thank you, we should just allow the kids to love both parents.
At 7:39 you just helped me understand how my daughter's father is thinking & feeling & acting for the first time ever. I'm in tears of joy Dr. Paul I can't tell you how much clarity you have just given me. I am so grateful for you & this video. I appreciate you more than you will ever know!
I love those aha moments, Logan Lynn Roberts. Thanks for sharing.
These videos are really great. I’m a family law attorney and litigate on behalf of parents - these tips are so on point & I have used these in my work. Thanks & continue doing this great work!
Wow, I am very honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV, MamaAfrica. Thank you for watching and leaving a comment!
Wow, what state do you work in?
Thank you- I’m in the midst of all this at the moment. He’s thrown some pretty muddy bombs that I was oblivious to- I just want to come to an agreement where my daughter gets to see n love her dad. I’ve always supported that role n felt as though my desire for him to be there was going to reflect badly upon me. My kiddo is a beautiful soul whom I’ve protected from my chaos. We laugh n cry together about daddy’s absence- I miss my family but for her I walk this road with as much grace and poise as possible always fearing my legs my buckle. It’s always all about her
Tamara Dwyer, beautifully said. You are the mother your child needs.
Your words seriously people need to take it to heart
Thank you, Silver Seraph. Honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV.
Thank you so much GOD Bless your mission.Your helping A lot of people 🙏✌️🙂👍
Thank you, Gloria Young, So grateful for your comment.
number 5 was beautiful and noteworthy
I'm not in a custody battle but have been wasting time counting the days until my children and I relocate for good
I don't lack faith and have a strong relationship with TMH but I couldn't shake the anxiety and discontentment on this part of the journey
which is why I needed to hear this at this time
many thanks for getting my heart back in the right place💚💥
Glad we could connect.
Thank you so much for your advice, it's deeply appreciated.
Happy to help.
I bet doing that job, a custody evaluator, you see some really heartbreaking situations. My situation sucks and hurts but I can only imagine how deep it goes for some children.
Thank you for the content, I really appreciate it
Living Legend, it is a draining job and so sad. Thank you.
I'm so glad I found this
Jesse O'Brien, I am also.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV just checking in and saying thank you. I am comfortable. I am choosing my life moment by moment. I am life it's self. I am a good father. I am grateful. I am connected to everything that is 🙏
Thank you so much!
I love your videos!
Andrea Guedes, thank you, honored to be on your team.
Thank you for all this great video!!
You are so welcome!
Soooo hard to get into a good place when your little girl was ripped out of your life. Ex is counting on me being a mess though so great advice
Living Legend, I am hoping you can be reunited soon.
i thought so too. they ruin you financially to start with
These videos are very educational. I wish parenting classes and such were of higher importance. Children have rights and as you said in the last piece, what you want for a child as they get older is a whole lot different than their needs.
O H, so true. Thank you for watching.
Thank you so much this was really helpful.
You're very welcome!
From 7.39, I actually laughed a little when you did, because that is exactly what I'm going through right now.. According to my ex I'm the "bad parent who should have no right to see our child" and "I'm a master manipulator who can put a mask on in public, but I'm lying and I'm an evil person behind closed doors", when she is the one with an attorney at every meeting, telling her to stick to the script they have, where I'm a "bad parent" - with the child custody evaluator doing absolutely nothing about it even though she said "why say stuff that is not true, when you clearly feel a different way?".
I hope you are right, that my constant focus on the child's interests and ability to cooperate in the best interest of the child will help me get the best result. Not for me, but for the child. Thanks for the videos! They are great and you explain everything very well.! :)
Bob Hope, yes, cooperation and keeping the best interest of your child in mind yields the greatest possibility for a fair outcome. Thank you for watching.
This is extremely helpful, my ex is an alcoholic and we are going through this. You reinforced the stuff that matters.
The kids always come first. Thanks
What a difficult time for you, Dee Dee. We all need a reminder now and then.
Any kind of ligitations including civil, criminal or family is a survival game. Once you decide to be involved in it, you must win. To win the game, you will have to have the other party lose. Do not consider or empathy the other party(-ies) for yourself, your life and your assets.
That is a thought.
Keep the children's interests as primary focus.. What's best for my kids.
Absolutely. That is where the focus should be.
Omg....I agree with u 100%....I fell into hard time. And screwed up with my child support. And that put a big toll on my relationship with my two kids. I have 4 children and I have a relationship with my two youngest. I can say happy me and their mother are amazing co-parenting and put the children first. And she has an understanding of my situation..I promise I've been to court and spoke with legal aid and duty office..and was truly not getting n e where. Then I realized on the back of the paper I was signing said they did not have to present all evidence. To me it meant the evidence I had wouldn't be shown...I never once said I wanted to stop paying over just to go over it and fix it...make it right
rick living man, I hope you were able to, or will be able to get things in order. Thank you for watching.
Thank you!
You're welcome!
This video has been incredibly helpful to me. We recently lost physical custody of my boyfriends son and our lawyers highly suggested a Custody evaluator I've been incredibly nervous and wanting to know more but I found this video beyond reassuring
Ryry Racing, you got this! Good luck.
Going to fight for Custody of my son. Can let mom bring him down with her!
Good luck.
Thanks
You are welcome, Kevin.
Your videos are helping me so much! Thank you. My wife is abusive (mentally, physically, even sexually with her son) and I'm so afraid of the outcome hurting our 3 -year-old girl by keeping her in that toxic environment. Your videos are giving me more confidence for getting through this, and easing a ton of anxiety.
Jerrod, if children are being abused, then report the abuse. I am glad your anxiety is reduced so you can take action.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I definitely did. Family services refused to help because I "stepped in to stop it while it was happening, therefore there was no incident", and despite photo evidence and a recorded audio confession of the wife, the prosecuting attorney said "Not enough evidence." I see now why so many children end up dead before anything is done. Getting custody in the divorce trial is my last hope for protecting my daughter.
@@jerrodbalzer7317 I’m so sorry for your situation. This is despicable😔children are angels on earth.
Sexual abuse and u didn't call the cops ?
It's funny... I'm single, never been married, don't have any plans to do so nor do I have any kids - your message still resonates.
Sriracha Hero, you are very smart. If you can pull out the underlying principle, it can be applied in many ways.
Thanks for being in my team for better parenting. I am going through disputes as my husband being a lawful good person is not taking responsibility of his reactive behaviour at home and when he is hyper he is speaking bad about me or even raise his hand on me if I oppose; and because of these scenes I get worried about my 4 yr old daughter she is fearful of us. She doesn't want to leave me alone. she also refuses to go to school too. And if she doesn't listen my husband and my mother in law, they call her with names. These things are not comfortable so seeking help .
Hope will get out of these disputes soon
Thanks
Sonal Patil, please reassure your child that you are there for her and if the disputes happen, try to have them out of the vision of your child.
Thanks again for your advice.
Great video and he didn’t even promote himself or his business 👌👌
Our goal is to get information out to the broadest audience possible. If people want more help like coaching, that is available also.
Your information was a breath of fresh air thank you so much for your time
You are so welcome! Reagh Network, thanks for being here in our positive community.
Ive spent 13 years chasing my child around due to alienation. I doubt this can help me. I've heard too much time has gone by. Great info though
Thank you, I hope you are able to reconnect some day.
That is crazy that you said that minimum you spent 3 months my husband has been through three girls and they spend a minimum of a week and a half on our case and all the briefs were presented late two of them only spent a half a day with us and the children and one of them didn't even bother coming
Wow! That wasn't done correctly.
I do think my ex loves our son, but he has issues that can end up hurting him and I think all he needs is to work on himself in order to deliver good parenting to our son. He has no self control, but I do know he can make our son laugh and that he loves him. He’s hurt me in many ways, but I’m willing to leave the past in the past to be a better person myself.
It sounds like you are on the right track, Sara.Sweet.N.Sinful179. Thank you for commenting.
Here's the deal- that is nothing but double-speak for saying that you're a feminist that wants to violate your ex's rights to his own child simply because he's male. You ain't foolin' nobody sister, and in my opinion, you should spend 5 to 10 years without parole in the ADX super max federal prison for even thinking about it.
Sounds like you are using your pain to justify causing your son and his father pain. Maybe the father isn't the only one that needs to work on himself.
It sounds like he doesn't like you and you're using that as a reason to keep his son away from him.
I am glad I found your channel .. How does custody evaluator decide on custody for a child with a cluster B personality parent and an high functioning autistic child because the underbelly symptoms of a autistic child gets out of control completely by a cluster B parent.
ladybug, I don't know. This is complex and I sounds personalized. The evaluator has many factors they take into account.
One of the ways you deal with any court-appointed evaluator is to hire an independent private investigator to conduct a comprehensive background investigation and surveillance on the evaluator. It's amazing how many of them have shifty backgrounds the court doesn't know about and get caught engaging in unsavory if not illegal conflicts of interest via surveillance.
John Doe, make sure the information is reported in the correct way so it doesn't get thrown out.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV That's why you use a professional licensed PI. Rather it's a crime In most states for a PI to give their client false or misleading information.
Your career is what I what I am starting on for my path...would love to chat.
Correina Shea, I am not sure if you are preparing to be a life coach or a custody evaluator. If you are considering life coaching the best way is to starts with this Webinar: drpauljenkins.info/webinar-registration-25042858 and we will see where that takes us. You will have the opportunity to book on my calendar after you have watched the video. Thank you for reaching out!
Thank you for the video, I'm thankful that you're telling the truth about how the court system and evaluators simply do not care. Parents need to understand that they truly do not care beforehand. I'm sure you mean well, but your lack of empathy is exactly what is wrong with the system. Everything is treated with an eyeroll by most judges and evaluators, and frankly, if you don't have the patience and emotional intelligence to do your job correctly by really listening and understanding that the stakes are high when someone is messing with your children, this probably was a wrong career choice for you. It's real easy to be dismissive and flippant by trivializing the genuine pain these parents are enduring. Watching your child suffer at the hands of the other parent makes you feel helpless.
I've been stuck in the system for 7 years. My cheating ex is a diagnosed Narcissist (he married the affair partner) and the two of them have delighted in making our lives a living hell. I do not engage or provoke anything with these people. Yes, ONE parent can be the sole antagonist in a so-called "high-conflict" case.
Being unwillingly dragged into this nonsense is expensive and emotionally taxing. The courts fail to see frivolous, one-sided, protracted litigation AS abuse. There needs to be a LIMIT on the number of times one parent can continually file and lose. TWO baseless cases should be enough to have their filings screened for merit. I've prevailed every time with "sanctions" supposedly applied to the opposing party. Sanctions are worthless because all I have are basically debtor's papers and have to pay thousands in small claims court to enforce them. This is all ignored, owed attorney's fees are never paid to me and a new baseless case is begun. There also needs to be a way for one parent to pursue legal remedies for slander/libel and years of emotional distress... perjury needs to be punishable the same way it is in criminal court, with jail time or fines.
I have no legal avenue to pursue justice to avenge the disgusting things I have been called on public documents and there is no penalty for perjury in family court. This needs to changed because one evil parent who is vindictive can use the court as a weapon to humiliate, financially drain and emotionally decimate the other parent because they have escaped from an abusive relationship.
The courts care about the best interest of the parent with the most money, none of this is done for the "best interest of the children", it's a business.
Julez, it sounds as though you have been put through the wringer. Thank you for sharing your story.
@I Love The Colour Pink We were married and together at the time, so they automatically put his name on the birth certificate.
@I Love The Colour Pink You may be right, but we were happily married at the time of the births of our children. It wasn't until years later that I saw his dark side.
@I Love The Colour Pink They've already said they want to be with me. He never wins, but nothing can stop him from repeatedly filing baseless motions. It's a way to financially abuse me.
Your amazing. I needed my coat pulled 💔🔥
Thanks for watching, Naomi Dessalines.
Wow thank you so much for this. My case has gone south. I am in Utah also and my ex has made me out to be the most evil lowlife ever yet we were married 18 years. He stayed, I stayed yet I got the brunting of abuse yet I am viewed as horrible. All I care about are the kids. Period. I'd rather have lived unhappily married over putting the kids through this mess. Breaks my heart. I have my final appointment today yet I was never given the home visit or time with evaluator and my kids yet he was. How do I address that? This is a very distasteful experience. They say we have one of the best evaluators in the state. Not in my opinion. As there's not been equality in her services. I need prayers fir my case and my children.
Let the judge know that the services were not done. They need to be done in order to proceed. Good luck, Amy F.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you are you still in practice here? The hearing with evaluator is set in 5 days its very disturbing she didnt handle her job. But I will peruse all avenues possible if the hearing does not go well.
I am not doing evaluations any longer, Amy F. Sorry.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you for taking the time to reply to me on this video. I have just checked your website looking for a private email or way to communicate with you further and found one. I intend to send you a message and hope you have a moment to read it and get back to me if possible. I think its great that you offer further services in self development and motivation speaking. I look forward to hearing back from you if you happen to have a moment to do so. Thank you for the informative videos you post to CZcams.
Ok I get don't get caught up in the good parent/bad parent fight.
But the whole reason for the divorce was constant cheating, multiple engagements during separation, 40+ jobs in 5 years, 12 attempts and failures in school, using my daughter as a pawn, always late, etc...
I only want 50% of custody or more to be a stable backdrop for my daughter because of her mother's instability.
I could care less how she lives her life except for the fact that it affects my 6 year old negatively.
Among other things she has untreated mental issues which she was prescribed medication for and never followed up on.
And most recently my daughter has come forward with allegations of sexual abuse against another young child that lives in the same home.
Going to meet with the GAL tomorrow afternoon with my daughter for the first time.
William M, I wish you the best. I am glad you are there for your daughter.
Where do I find the info in my area about the usual rules?
You have great tips! Can I ask if the other spouse is trying to put you in a financially hard place you are able to spot that?
Usually it can be picked up on. We know that people are hurting in situations like this and it is stressful for everyone.
Can you do a video on battling with dcfs my ex is dealing with a dcfs case on her being intoxicated while driving with my son also lied to dcfs about being sober then failed a drug test and also the home has a broken kitchen sink toilet is messed up and shower is also messed also have messages from her saying she dont want to be a single mom anymore and unhappy about her life and that she isnt going to stop her habit that she will sneak it around if she has to do that. That she is going to enjoy it. Can u do a video for some legal advice for me and what I should do and what I will have to battle with
Mark Mathews, I am not a lawyer so I cannot give legal advice, sorry. Please seek counsel from someone who knows the laws of your state.
when you say living in a minivan down by the river... Our property is on the river and we have dubbed it the van down by the river...😁
Oh! * nervous laughter * I hope no offense was taken, Davanale Paul McMurrin! Honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV.
even tho i don’t like these guys he’s right
Nick Show, thanks.
I haven’t seen my son in seven months my ex and his parents have been telling my son what an awful mother I was while he was growing up, I was a drug addict, didn’t care for him etc. I am not a drug addict!!! his father literally is a on and off again heroine addict. On that note the order reads he has visitation only his mother has shared physical custody because monetarily I could not go against her with what my children needed as door basic needs. Now I do, his mother thinks that she can break the rules of physical custody so she my son lives with his dad, and now my son hates me and will only text me @13 years old. My youngest now stays two nights a week with her dad and she wants to come home to sleep. I see she wants to visit with her dad but she is getting more and more resentful of her dad and grandma because they won’t let her stay at my house at night they won’t let me take or pick her up from school.
She of forced to go to grandmas school and doesn’t like it and I can’t tell her why she has to go I just tell her to try and have fun. Maybe in the future you’ll get to go to a big girl school. I can’t say anything because I don’t want to break the order so I do it by the book. I’m about to go nuts how they break 80% of the court order. Gladly my lawyer is going to file. His mom and he are truly mean and unreasonable to me and my kids mainly I have them recorded saying so putting me down threatening me telling me and my child that she is a criminal it has gotten so awful. I’ve been in this hell for ten years exploited and my children have been pawns to them in so heartbroken they’ve had to grow up like this. The grandmother triangulates my ex and I and think she owns my kids and is the only person who has say as to how they should grow up. I worry for my son he’s become so hateful to me and he and I got along like best buddies had so much fun yes my ex had constant stress because he was in rehab at least ten times and oded, dui’s, domestics violence with criminal intent. I’ve been through a lot and so has my son and daughter. I just want a normal life and they’ve violated this court order so to the extreme of changing custody not my youngest home or very late. They literally do what they want because I haven’t had the money. I want my kids to be happy and not controlled they are not possession’s they are my lives that I just want to be there to guide and raise them life is hard and I want a non confrontational smug people to realize I’m their mom and I deserve to raise them just as much and be a part of their lives. Is that so wrong?
And the forged my signature on a document for the grandparents to get legal custody of which I abstracted it not knowing how the he’ll she had this shared custody. She amended an answer that I did agree to and then had her lawyer draw up another. I wasn’t at court because I just had my baby ten days before I never imagined she’d do this.
When I saw the paperwork I was like how did she get put into this order? The wording isn’t right. It was missing a comma and I’m no lawyer. My life has been so messed up I pray the judge will see this what do you think?
Amanda Hydrick, I am not a lawyer. I am glad you have a lawyer and let him or her present the evidence in court. Children need both parents. Be clear on what you control and what you don't. I am glad you are not bringing the children into the situation. Love them no matter what and even if...
Question if we're going through court ordered custody evaluation should we provide with DHS case record saying the children are afraid because of the stories their mother tells them, or just request they get the records?
Erin Bickle, I cannot give specific legal advice, but I will tell you that generally it's best to present all the information and facts that you have; just keep the negative emotion out of it. Your interest is in the child, not getting back at the other parent.
How do I find those rules? Would I just look up laws of family court in Washington state?
Veronika. Rocks, yes, get the rules where you live.
What would you say if the custody evaluator, GAL in Florida, only interviewed the mother and never interviewed or saw the father interacting with the children nor visited his home. The evaluator has been on the case for more than two years now.
Synthalog, I wonder if there is another evaluator doing that evaluation. If not, I would question why.
What happens if I live in a masted bedroom in San Francisco, CA with my child and I want to move to a two bedroom apartment in New York City? The kid will definitely be better in NY but here’s the thing, the father of my child has a 2 bedroom house and he lives with his parents, what do you think will happen?
Enrique Gomez, I have no idea. There are so many pieces of this puzzle that I don't have any knowledge. Good luck to you.
What if I'm only judging my ex on her behavior around the child and myself AFTER the breakup? Is that considered getting sucked into the good parent bad parent idea? I've been cooperating and trying to co-parent well despite her cheating, but she continues to disparage me and use our child against me to get what she wants
Justin, try to take a long view, of when your child(ren) are grown and what you want them to remember? If they remember positivity from you, you are more likely to have a positive relationship.
Dr. Paul, are the divorcing parents and their attorneys allowed to submit questions/stories that they want you to ask about when evaluating the other parent?
Roger Grant, usually not. Ask your attorney how to direct the court's attention to a concern you have.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you for your response.
Would your recommendations change if one parent has a cluster B personality disorder?
Perhaps. This is why custody evaluations are done, to find out the information that will help the judge to make the bet choice.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thanks for your reply. I think I'm dealing with one of these and it is the reason I'm getting the eval done. It involves very serious false allegations of abuse ect... I don't want to annoy the court or professionals, but I don't know how not to present the behaviors or the impact I think they will have on our child in a negative light. Maybe just focus on the behaviors and not the person?
I'll just follow the rest of your recommendations, I feel like they are spot on, and let the evaluator do their job. I enjoy and appreciate the info and positive message you share.
So what’s considered a situation that’s an exception?
Chelsea Tietje, it just depends, when I was doing evaluations, we looked at each case individually. It would be something out of the ordinary, that the majority of the families are not dealing with.
Do you know anything about narcissist or parental Alienation?
I had a envestigating today and she didn't ask me anything..just who are my parents and there names were was I born..how many siblings do I have and if I get along with them.. my address history job history.. cps calls and why were they called how many bedrooms and bathrooms I have..not to many questions regarding why my granddaughter lived with me for 8 years..I wanted to explain and she would shut me up
Elias Cortez, find out if there will be a follow up or if you could submit something in writing.
What if a child doesn't want the picture of the other parent up in my home? Do I leave it or put it away?
sinmayp, let him know where it is and then he can choose if it is up or not.
How do I cope with losing primary custody to my abuser? How likely is an abuser to become a good parent?
Jennifer Vang, I am sorry to hear this. Keep in close contact, make notes and be ready to file for custody.
The good parent/bad parent is leading by the mother. Whatever she says turns into evidence; whatever the father says is considered an attack on that poor mother.
Synthalog, it may be in the way the evidence is being delivered. Talk to your lawyer about this.
There were many times when the mother of my kids left the kids with me so she can spend more time with the guy she was having an affair with before the guy moves. I have text messages of her saying this. Is this a good start in trying to get full custody especially when I’m the stay at home parent?
ReverseCycology, talk to your lawyer about the best way to proceed. You will need to get the information documented from your phone.
I am looking for legal help for my case I’m in a situation where there was three domestic violence case on both me and my daughter mom and she first lied to the police I ended up in jail and the honest truth I kept coming back because she had my daughter and I was not ok with not seeing my daughter and I fell into a depression and so I tried to see my daughter and I ended up loose her what can I do in my situation and why haven’t I seen a judge yet and y wasn’t my worker communicating with me?? Pls help anyone
Marcos Espinoza, I am so sorry. I have no idea why you aren't seeing your daughter or a judge. I would start there, at the court and see if there is a pending date and try to talk to the mother to see what she has to say.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you for the advice and I did take your advice I have been seeing my daughter here in there but I have one more question I don’t know where that’s going to happen today or tomorrow but I have a custody hearing and I would like to know if there’s a way I could present any evidence or any facts that I have as to why my daughter should not be given to Sonia the mother of Graciela Rojas and why I should be given a chance since this is my first offense in my first child and people are allowed to make a mistake but they should be judged it to make the same mistake twice and I’ll bring that up due to the fact that Graciela Rojas The mother of my child also has three children prior to having mine which she does not have custody of so this isn’t her first time experiencing the situation And therefore is deemed unfit to be a mother in My eyes But then again I’m no expert in children’s Law Center would like to ask for your advice there even if it comes late even if my court date is right now I would still like to hear your point of you at least I could learn some thing and share it because there’s a lot of people in my situation as well
Do you do private consulting?
Thanks for watching, Andrea Guedes. Yes, I do personal coaching. If you want to know more, please go to DrPaulJenkins.com. If that sounds like what you're looking for, click on the big yellow "Schedule Your Free Breakthrough Session" button. It is a free 25 minute call. You may need to schedule with one of my Live On Purpose coaches first, but that is the place to start.
So how do you defend yourself against the woman telling the court you being abusive and that the court takes her words rather than available/ unavailability of evidences?
Perhaps silence in the family court will be a sign of acceptance against a man, because the family court isn’t really a court of justice.
Call me grumpy as much as you want, but that’s how it goes down in Australia.
Many men are thrown out of the house just because of allegations
What does your attorney say. There is a place and a way to respond.
Is there someone to speak to privately for personal situation (rather not write on here) advice? Thank you
caring for kian, absolutely. We have a free 25 breakthrough call with one of our Live On Purpose coaches that you can schedule here: www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall
@@LiveOnPurposeTV wow, thank you so much.
Hmm.. I don't know about cognitive dissonance. None of my other Exes are bad people; some of them are amazing people. All of them are people I would trust with my child. I have never trusted my son's father alone with him. It makes sense that this would happen often, but it doesn't make sense that it would be the explanation in a case full of documented abuse.
Thank you for watching, DeepLiving. Yes, documented abuse is different from simply believing that an ex is bad. My statement was based off of experience with many divorcing couples.
So am I being truthful fue saying that the other parent love their children when they are being used for false allegation? How is that being a loving good parent? I’ll be honest and truthful, that’s not being a loving parent.
I am no sure what you are referring to. I appreciate honesty and love. Your kids will also.
Why do you do when you have custody of your grandchild and the parent keeps having children but she keeps them with her and the baby that I have is very jealous?
April Dias, I don't know. You have to work that out with her. If you want some coaching get in touch, www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall.
I already went through the evulation my ex wasn't honest long story short still putting the kids in the middle mentally I rose above it were victims of conjugal abuse meditation isn't possible unfortunately I feel bad about these children in this I have my boxing gloves on I'm going through the war I will fight for these kids forever my ex is bitter I say nothing about him to the kids I've been able to care for them with their own rooms then when the social worker closed the file I brought it to light the kids were told it was my fault they got kicked out of the daycare poor kids it got worse stuff with shared custody for now I find it very sad I'm basically the targeted parent as they call it. I realized who he really is I've distanced myself I don't react at all to him I just document I have proof of this behavior I have taken on extra responsibilities medical appointments and expenses unfortunately they aren't taking responsibility child support over 2 or more high conflict divorce unfortunately I've been honest throughout the entire process
Robyn Edward, it sounds like you are doing everything you can: not reacting to your ex, making sure your children have their necessary appointments, and staying honest. Your children will benefit from the love and care you show them. Best wishes to you and them. Thanks for watching.
I hope you see this below
Amanda Hydrick, see what?
What I wrote below thank you for your response.
Hello I’m currently about to enter a custody battle with my ex who’s taking my child away from me because i have decided to move on. She hasn’t had to buy anything for my daughter who is now 4 months. I or my family have bought everything for her. We had a good schedule going on with her staying with me Monday through half of Wednesday and we rotate weekends but she threatens every week to take her away from me and has recently done this, this weekend because my girlfriend liked a picture on Facebook of our daughter. With me she goes to daycare which my mother and sister both work at and is on the most stable routine when she is with me. When she’s with her mother whom we believe to be unstable she stay with some lady i haven’t met that my ex doesn’t even care for herself. My ex is only taking my daughter away because i have a new girlfriend who stays with me now. She says she’s hurting and needs my daughter in her house to “heal” but she’s my daughter too and i want her with me also. I have a great job as a truck driver locally and i take care of my daughter in ever way. Could you please give me some advice I’m desperate to get my daughter back.She always pulls the “I’m the mother what i day goes “ line and has said i can only get her ever other weekend . I’m an just not about to go for only every other weekend seeing my daughter. I need help. the house she’s living in is in my name and I’ve been paying half her bills and we’re not even together haven’t been for at least a year now
Kickit Ayers, sounds like you need to have a parent plan and an attorney who knows your state law can help you with that. Your daughter needs both of you, working together.
This sounds EXCALY like my situation!
My child's father has called DCF 4 TIMES, ON ME because I'm dating now, all false accusations... he's going to try to use this in court lol I'm hoping they will see his pattern of behaviors... its becoming harassment n a disruption in their lives... sad what he's doing
Victoria Krutky, it is sad, and a waste of the court's time.
What about schizophrenia?
Paul Marado, as long as there is treatment, the person should be ok.
What about the narcissist mother’s threats in text to kill the kids
Erica prince, if you believe the threat is credible, please contact law enforcement in your area. We need to protect the kids. Best wishes.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I've already done that a long time ago I don't know what to do now but I will bring it all up when we go to court for child support because there's already a restraining order including this information in it so I've already brought it to a judge's attention it's just that the restraining order has not been served
🙏🙏🙏🙏
Thank you, Carla.
I had a custody evaluation 2 weeks ago !! The evaluation went in my favor and the judge didn’t go along with it !!! And the other party filed a motion for the courts to
Do the evaluation!! A lot of hoop jumping 🤷
Oh no, I wonder what happened.
Nothing happen he said she didn’t explain why she wanted me to
Have primary custody in her 20 page report !! Btw I was put out of my home with 2 children on a peace order at 11pm for a lie !! Lol that sound like a unfit parent to me 🤷 and btw he didn’t sign the birth certificate lol 🤷
I love your message. Your videos often make me wonder though, have you ever worked on a case where there was documented domestic violence and emotional abuse that was directed at both the spouse and the children? I'm curious because it sounds like in your experience, those sorts of things almost never happen. I don't know how common it is from a statical perspective but it seems like you would have had a few cases over the course of your career? Maybe you take this approach because the vast majority of accusations leveled against ex partners aren't serious or valid, so maybe, your videos are directed toward situations that are most prevalent in your experience? I'm not going to suggest you should be addressing the unicorns in the room lol. That would be weird and entitled. Even if your advice does overlook cases where there is legitimate domestic violence, I find them helpful and interesting. It's really interesting to me when you talk about the cognitive dissonance that occurs in divorces and how it all becomes some sort of competition. This interests me because my entire goal is to get to a place where my ex can be healthy enough to coparent with me and have MORE time. I see our divorce as the best opportunity we've ever had to become a healthy happy family. My kids need a healthy dad. I'm very close to my dad and I want that for them. My ex has serious issues that cannot be ignored but aside from the abuse, he can be a good dad. In public, he's very playful with the kids and he teaches them handy skills. He helped my son learn to shave. He is valuable in their lives. I believe he just needs some help with his anger. I can't force that on him though and I don't know how else to go about all this. I was there to intervene before. Now, I'm not and my kids are afraid to be with him for longer periods of time in private. The point is, for me, my views of my ex haven't changed from marriage to now. My goal isn't to take time away from him, my goal is to help my babies to have the dad they need. I hope that custody evaluaters aren't so inexperienced with this sort of thing that they would not understand that abusers have a public face and a private face and they'll be presented with the public persona that appears happy and well adjusted. I have to believe you are trained to get to the truth, to really hear the kids, to look deeper than the surface stuff. In my case, my kids are old enough to talk about what happened but even with that, I'm terrified we won't be believed. This is why I stayed so long. I didn't trust professionals like you to protect my kids the way I could when I was there. If he hadn't started drinking this last year, I would've stayed until my youngest (5) was grown. Jesus... I hope I was wrong to think the courts wouldn't protect my kids. Someone please tell me I was wrong. I can't let them deal with him alone. Maybe I should have stayed.
EyeAmMe, thank you for being here on the channel. I can tell that this subject is very important to you. I have added it to my production list. You are correct in that you cannot force your ex-husband to do anything; all you can do is work on becoming positive yourself and try to maintain that positivity in your home with your children. It would be great if your children's father watched some of the videos on this channel, but again - you can suggest it, just not control whether he watches or not. Is he open to any counseling? Right now we're offering a free 25 minute breakthrough call with one of our Live On Purpose coaches. If you or he are interested, you can schedule that here: DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Wow! Thank you so so much! I'm definitely going to schedule a call! Thank you!
Not relevant for FIT PARENTS AGAINST GRANDPARENTS (My own Mother) SUING FOR CUSTODY OF HALF OF MY KIDS
Thanks for commenting, Aquila Pound-Liac. This video was not focused on that sort of custody case but the principles are pretty close.
You have some good advice. However, you have FAR too much faith in the fact that most all humans with children actually love their children and want what is best for them. The amount of childrens services opened cases and removals should tell you that that claim is both incorrect and absurd. Have you not seen the opioid epidemic? Do you know how many of those ppl are involved in custody cases to protect their children? These "special cases" are really not special cases. It is just as common for there to be circumstances that require immediate (even if temporary) removal as it is to have two parents who have safe and loving and acceptable environments to have a child in. Just something for you to think on. Maybe in Utah there just is not as much of an addiction problem or as many people who are abusive. I would not pretend to know what is going on in that part of the country. I certainly hope though that the evaluators in the rest of the country understand how likely it is for a child to have at least one parent who is afflicted by some type of psychological illness including the ever growing population of those with substance abuse disorder.
Angela Rohr, thank you for your thoughtful comment - I appreciate it. I will admit that I do have faith in humanity. I believe that people do the best they can with the knowledge and resources they have at the time, while acknowledging weaknesses and addictions. What I mean by "special case" is no one person or family is dealing with a particular situation that hasn't been experienced before.
I COULD REALLY USE SOME HELP. I AM A FATHER TO 2 BEAUTIFUL KIDS. I HAVE NOT BEEN ALOUD TO SEE OS EVEN SPEAK TO MY KIDS IN ALMOST 2 YEARS SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME I AM IN CALIFORNIA THIS DAD NEED HELP
MY NAME IS JAMES
cassandra hayes, I am sorry you are going through this, James. I have not done too much work in CA before. I hope you find someone good.
"Get yourself into a good place" - HOW???
Anastasia Lee, we have lots of ways at go.liveonpurposecentral.com.
Look up narcissism
Eternal Life, a narcissistic person is more likely to embroil someone in a battle.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV You are bsolutely correct. I have been battling to even see my daughter for the last almost 6 years of my life because I married a narcissist. I'm up against my narcissistic mother and my narcissistic ex husband in court over and over again. We finally are having a judge recognize what is going on but my daughter is severely alienated from me now. She's 12. My heart is broken every day. We now have a child legal representative That we will meet with and a renowned therapist that sees that she needs me. I never wanted this for her I was alienated from my dad by my mother. I am triangulated and estranged from my entire mother's side of the family aside from my identical twin and we finally reunited with my biological dad 3 years ago. I believed all my mother's lies about him for years and years and now it is happening to my daughter, generational.
Oh and I Said she and her boyfriend smoke marijuana and she said what is wrong with that..it's almost leagal in your State..and that it's proven u could still care for your children being a marijuana head
Elias Cortez, it might be legal, but depending on the usage, it could interfere with parenting. Check with your lawyer on the next steps.
you're so flippant about basically calling everyone over dramatic. You can't generalize. EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT ISSUES AND YOU SHOULD REALLY NOT PUT PEOPLE DOWN!
Jasmine Stauffer, not trying to put people down. When I was working in custody evaluation, each case was treated on its own merits. This is a videos recapping what I learned over those years.
He's not being flippant, hes being honest. He's basically saying what a judge or magistrate would think or even say if you came off as angry or bitter . Courts want parents to work things out with little or no litigation. If you go into a court room with hatred and any harbored ill feelings twords your ex it will not only bleed on to your case but your child as well. That can and will make you appear as the one who is unstable . Judges dont want to hear about how awful the other party is, cause a judge deffinetly thinks and sometimes will even says, you choose to make a baby with this person so deal with it ! I am a survivor of domestic violence and am currently in litigation while also having to co parent with a narcissistic asshole who only cares about his wallet. On that note, yes each situation is different however if you don't frame your case around what's in the best interest of the child no matter how hurt or angry you are then you will likely loose your chance for the judge to take your concerns and even evidence into consideration. I know personally how hard that is yet i know how imperative not to let your feelings get in the way. If your childs safety and wellbeing are truly what your concerned about, then their best interest better flow out your mouth faster than your thoughts of running him over with an armoured truck or you will loose !!!!
If I had money this would all be easier
Living Legend, I am glad you didn't say it would make you happier. I agree money does make some things easier (and some more difficult).
I am only three minutes in, but I am disgusted that the court hires you to evaluate the parenting and the judge decides on your report. How unconstitutional. There's no possible way that you are unbiased, nor are you legally allowed to decide the best interests of children of fit parents. But I guess the court only wants money. Gross. I really hope you think this through.
Thank you for watching.
Ahhh no
Thanks for watching.
The funny part is this guy is talking like he doesn't have faults.
I have plenty, just ask my wife. Sharing what I learned with over a decade of experience.
How to prepare for a Custody Evaluation.
Step 1 : Don't agree to a custody evaluation.
Step 2 : Learn the law and how to invoke your rights and the rights of your children that get trampled by custody evaluators and judges in fake administrative courts.
Step 3 : Don't listen to a custody evaluator on CZcams with a financial interest in promoting his services and continued employment.
You're welcome.
Thank you.
This is why murder suicides happen
Hate Life, not a thought I want to have, but I know what you are saying.
This sounds to me as pointless job because custody is almost always given to the mother no matter what. So you don't really do anything useful and your advice is unfortunately utterly worthless. Sorry.
That's ok, there has been some change, it is slow in coming.