5 Animals Who Can't Hide Their Disdain for People | Spit Take Theater
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- čas přidán 4. 03. 2014
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When are animals going to stop treating us like a bunch of jerks?
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"300lb muscle torpedoes with faces made of swords and hearts mace of vengeance" is the best phrase ever strung together in the history of the English language.
I think im in love.
Samantha Lyren Faces made of sword, not swords. Also, Made*.
Samantha Lyren the English you can't speak
Samantha Lyren too bad u fucked it up
"Faces made of Sword, and heart's made of vengeance." I don't care when this was uploaded, I nominate this for Quote of 2016
I smiled the whole way through with this one. If animals had just a fraction of human aggression and know how we would be fucked.
Humans dont have aggression compared to most animals...
TheTitaniumWolfman you're mistaken.
Levon Gevorgyan we keep slaves and commit genocide on a regular basis....And lie about it. We b are far from saints
Its because they can't hold a gun
Ants go to war.
I lost it when the boat captain ran from the marlin straight into the water...
+magicstix0r Yeah I had to watch that part several times because I wasn't sure if I saw that correctly. The first time it was like "wait, where did the other guy go" then it was, "did he dive off the boat?" Finally I got a "he did a half-gainer and fell off the back" vibe.
"The only thing with a shred of dignity left in that boat is repeatedly slamming its head into the floor of the boat because it doesn't know how the ground works..." lmao
imagine if the impala jumped into an impala
Adam Van Winkle which contained the band tame impala
Is nobody going to talk about the guy who LITERALLY fell OVERBOARD?
what guy?😈
+i can't make a good name at 4:33
sarcasm is sarcastic. smdh
i can't make a good name your mum
+Emma Claire your life
"300 pound muscle torpedoes with faces made of sword..." Highlight.
Adam Lacy and hearts made of vengeance
Oh, so when animals show distain for humans they get to be the stars of a video but when I do it I stop having friends?
You sir.. Are a animal fucking, wonderful person x3
the key here, is that their friends aren't humans either.
Oh come on Agent Washington you'll always have Caboose as a friend.
The internet is a wonderful place. This joke that a random guy made 2 years ago is able to make me laugh in 2017. Think about that.
All energy is infinite. It is just changing aggregate form.
Why is no one talking about how that monkey is genuinely more intelligent than the human?
Erdrick68 because its not
I agree with you. Humans make ourselves stupid when we try to be patronizing.
Erdrick68 OMG! Did you see the video of a monkey using a phone recently.
On the sea lion video, I was paying attention to the pelican on the dock just sitting there watching the show
Sameeeeee
Am I the only one that laughs maniacally at the clip of the Impalas jumping? Like, they just look so cartoony and sped up and it kills me.
I'm dead.
But... the deer wasn't showing disdain. It was pretty much the opposite.
Hiru Harada Well, many rapists show great disdain for their victims.
Well... this just got weird.
It is an Empala.
Sorry.
+Joseph Sutherland the last one idiot
Okay. Former irrational fear of deer is no longer former and may not be irrational.
lol that deer doe loooooooool
See whatcha did there
Ha!
In clip #3, the best part is the pelican in the background not giving a fuck, just looking hella cute 😄
LOL, "This is awkward..." Best line ever.
When I first started watching these, they were not particularly funny, but I liked the format; now, his commentary is way more amusing, better utilizing his low-toned sarcasm.
Great stuff!
Can't believe none of those featured animals were cats! They TOTALLY disdain us!
***** But it wasn't the cheetah that disdained us in that clip
DOGS HO!!!
Golkarian except for the part where it didn't even consider going for a human, cuz we suck as food.
Rem Twilight
No we don't! We taste like ham!
QuartuvLarry Correction, we taste like pig, if pigs were skin and bone with chemicals flooding..so yeah like skinny bony steroid filled pigs.
I already watched this, but the repost is the perfect excuse for me to rewatch this so FUCK YEAH!
Okay the sea lion eye contact thing was funny. My barbs have a humanity
Your review of Acid Rap holds up over time.
There was an error the last time we uploaded it. Apologies.
No prob.
***** Hey, Thanks man!
*Sources:*
Impala:
Cheetah Chases Impala Antelope Into Tourist's Car on Safari
Swordfish:
Big Fish Jumps Into Boat And Man Jumps Out
Monkey:
Monkey Forces Human to Crush Leaves
More reuploads than actual uploads at this point. I'm unsubscribing for now.
What the fuck is going on in this comment section? This is the first I've seen of this video. And I've been waiting for this show because its my favorite on this channel. And who gives a fuck if you're unsubscribing. Just do it and shut the fuck up, nobody's gonna beg you to stay!
By far the most hillarious episode ever. Laughed so hard a little bit of pee came out!
Right when I got Nana out of my head you guys brought it back...
I'm going to admit that I thought an impala was a car
It is. But like a Mustang, it was named after a fast animal. So you'd think it was fast, you see.
Of course if you don't know it's a fast deerish thing, then, well, I guess their marketing campaign failed with you.
There are a decent amount of cars named after animals. Not all of them are fast animals, but most are.
Jaguars are actually not fast, for instance, they're stealthy. I mean they're a cat, so, inherently pretty fast at attacking, but they're more known for their skullcrushing than speed in running.
www.zeroto60times.com/blog/2013/03/complete-list-cars-animal-names/
List of animal named cars, some might surprise you.
well... you are black.
I think it's the first conscious subscription click in my life. I was watching Cracked Team swear at me, bribe, ask and try to ask me out over the Internet for the past three years. And today, right now, three minutes after midnight in my country, doing the evening-routine of putting myself to sleep over comedy I've seen hundred times already, I did it. I clicked it.
I subscribed.
I'm trying to think...
Katie was asking people out, Soren tried bribing us with erotica and shirtlessness, Cody asked nicely...
But who was cursing/calling us out?
This never stops being hilarious
That last one isn't disdain more then lust....
well, deers are normally easyly scared off, so what were you doing? It took my neighbour 3 years to be able to pet a deer he kept!
What about that injured elk who walked through a city on the side walk, Crossed a cross walk like humans would, and went inside a vet office.
That deer story had me crying, her scream at the end! LoooL
I was at the dock next to the one where the sea-lion stole the Dorado that same day
0.0
Quentin Tarantino will soon be writing a movie about that Sea Lion.
And stephen king writing a book about that deer
But since this is the internet, we can rest assured that porn already exists of all three.
I love the music they promote on the show, Chance is dope
"300lb muscle torpedoes with faces made of sword."
Sounds like a new pet
It's been ten years, but I'm still on CZcams
That swordfish animation was AMAZING.
it was from a documentary about a swordfish that stabbed someone in the back of the throat, I saw it on animal planet or somewhere
"Yoink" I almost choked I couldn't stop laughing
CZcams comments make me sad... People so rude! I gotta stop reading them.. And commenting on them.
Jack talks about rap music like my nephew used to talk about Pokemon.
Chance is fucking amazing Acid Rap is the only thing I ever listen to
That clip where the fish jumps into the boat is now being used in an insurance ad.
needed a good laugh thank you guys
Jack has a great music taste! learned a lot of that from Cracked podcast which is also amazing + has a lot of his music. I have been slacking but i want to catch up
Haha this is consistently funny.
I swear that seagull laughed out the guy who was robbed by the fish.
I love these types of cracked videos can we get more
That intro summerizes how i feel about that entire album
in five minutes I went from not knowing what cracked was to loving cracked.
Yeah that how it happens, later we end up turning tricks for crack.
stay strong you can quit this man
The 2 dudes were helping the fat guy rich guy sitting-down move around back-and-forth, but when the marlin jumped in the boat, the one dude jumped out, and the other his behind the rich guy, fuckin priceless footage!!
"this swordfish just pulled the human equivalent of michael jordan jumping from half court , over the net and stabbing someone 30 rows up " . i fuckin lost it lmfao
u are hilarious! I have tears in my eyes!
This is brilliance
This is the first one from this guy that I actually liked good one
Guildwars 2 has taught me to fear deer anyway. I've seen one deer take out a whole platoon of magic throwing man cats.
Brilliant. Just brilliant.
and hearts made of vengence i laugh so hard in this part!!
lmao and now chance is a huge rap artist
The part on the marlin made me loose my shit.Bravo man.
WORD for the Chance the Rapper music . . . didn't think I would find AWESOME new music on a Cracked video about "when animals attack". . .but then I also didn't think Cracked was this funny . . . .twice today I have been wrong . . .FML
I recently became addicted to listening to chance.
That dear isn't trying to mount her. Humans are remarkably salty and deer just love them some salt.
You guys must really love this video :P this is like the 3rd or 4th time I've seen this uploaded
Almost checked out of this before the great animal videos started... a weird, muddled tangent about irritating talentless rap for a minute felt like an hour. Then it became one of the best "Cracked" I've seen! Great commentary, more natural and less reaching, especially about the marlin.
Very funny. One of O'Brien's best.
8 years in, still not on TBS
Okay I'll be the one to say it. That deer was like "Dat Ass Doe!"
this video is even better because is references chance. He is absolutely sick
rewatching this in 2021 still funny.
2:37 was so cute though, lol
Chance the Rapper, aww yeah!
It's almost ten years from then!
thank you for the explanation! I was confused at first :) keep rocking Cracked! Love your stuff!!
That sneaky sea lion..
You take great care of your music selection. You should put thé description below, it's pretty good
pretty sick that you had chance at the begining I'm a big fan
Amazing music Jack. Where'd you get that jacket?
this guy is way too funny!
Ive never noticed rap or any interesting music in Cracked videos, and now I hear Chance in this video, and Kendrick in one about Russians and Chinese people being crazy again.
Lol! that deer tho!
Hearts made of vengeance.
at 3:00 the bird can't believe this shit either
lmfao you're my fave.
Liking this video just for the music
Because he doesn't understand how the ground works
Stumbled upon it and Loved it the first time. Searched for it and Rewatched it for Chance the Rapper. Continued watching for
animals saying "f**k it," because I needed that in my life right now. 😙🍸👌
I can't decide on the impala or the sea lion for my new hero/inspiration...I'm pretty sure that deer stalked me on Facebook.
I've actually seen that deer video before.
Holy shit I actually recognized something from the internet.
HAHA I THOUGHT SOMEONE ELSE IN THE ROOM WAS PLAYING ACID RAP, I thought i was the only one who liked acid rap lol
Time traveling back 8 years to a better timeline before Ding Dong Donnie and the pandemic
Upvote for, "Marlin are 300 pound muscle torpedoes with faces made of sword, and hearts filled with vengeance."
It's been ten years
And i was looking at my iPod ready to play Everybody's Something. This scared me
6 years from then
ever since i found out about harlequinn disease and inquisition torture along with SAW movie torture, no i dont think swordfish impalement is the worse thing ever
I wish the music used were in the credits instead of him taking up so much time to tell us in the beginning.
I may not be 10 years in the future, but I am four years ahead...
Yeah screaming at the top of your lungs is gonna make the deer not want to kill you
I love the diction and delivery of the host. Who is he? I want to see more of his stuff.
...
No homo?