How to Help Someone who has ADHD
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- čas přidán 12. 09. 2016
- Hello hearts who love ADHD brains! This week's video is all about YOU - we know how frustrating life with us can be, and this video has a bunch of helpful tips for loving and living with an ADHD brain! By the end of this video you should have a better understanding of ADHD and how to help someone who has it. Thank you for your patience, from the bottoms of our hearts!
Facebook: / howtoadhd
Twitter: / howtoadhd
Support us on Patreon: / howtoadhd
Videos mentioned in this episode:
Schedule things that aren’t urgent: www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxiCV...
How to deal with meltdowns: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yfg3T...
ADHD impulsivity and building up our “brakes”: www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Aq7R...
Gamification: www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxsAx...
10 favorite things about ADHD: www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFCKa...
Fidget to Focus: www.youtube.com/watch?v=71PB_...
LINKS!
my 10 favorite resources for ADHD (video): www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4YMm...
Below are links ADHD brains recommend:
RESOURCES
chadd.org
additudemag.com (check out ADDitude Connect to post questions and get answers!)
www.russellbarkley.org/factshe...
www.adhdkidsrock.com/
www.addcoach4u.com/resources.html
BOOKS
Driven to Distraction: www.amazon.com/dp/B005GFII62/...
ADHD Effect on Marriage: www.amazon.com/ADHD-Effect-Ma...
"The Show Must Be Go”, "Life of Riley"
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
creativecommons.org/licenses/b...
Dopamine infographic: clearscience.tumblr.com/post/2...
Clearly a lot of effort has gone into these videos to impact people with ADHD, short clips, camera changes, exaggerated facial expressions, funny side notes, all to keep the viewer's attention. There's no doubt you know your stuff!
+DON PAUL DTRM awww thanks for noticing! :D
No wonder I wouldnt go straight to comments
If you are on Ritalin, you are less likely to end up in Jail
It works, that's for sure!
Yet I'm still down here in the comments because I'm not stimulated enough^^
"If we are still here, we are trying."
*That hit me like a gut punch.*
Why?
@@missphresh Because I wasn't sure I was going to make it to 2022. The last view years were really tough.
They were hard for me too. I struggled with hemp addiction. And a little alcohol addiction.. Hot, and Cold showers seem to help me. Yes I do have server AD HD.
@@mr.guydude I almost given up too, luckily i survived.
So glad you guys are still here 🥲 I feel the same…
I have a terrible memory, and whenever I’ve tried to tell my mom she just say something along the lines of
“Oh, you’re too smart to have trouble remembering things! Someone intelligent always has good recall!”
No, no they don’t.
I used to think I had a terrible memory, but then I realized it wasn't the memory, it was the recall that was really my problem. The stuff was there, I remembered things that amazed me and others (like three years after I went a friend's house in another state in a town I don't know I was able to find her house again in the dark just on my memory - it was really late and no distractions), but accessing the info could be problematic. My brain got distracted along the way. I find that reducing distractions helps (squinting/closing my eyes, quietness, even doing autopilot activities so I didn't have to think about them and my brain can stay on the task of recall) really helped. Or, just quit trying to remember the thing, go do something else, and it would come to me.
So, I am going to be doing a more indepth study, but I have found people who have been coined "gifted" tend to also have ADHD. I feel like for parents like yours, this little (potential fact) could be insanely helpful in dispelling myths. Now, if only I could get my psychology degree and start my research credibly.
The hymn of my childhood : "you are so intelligent and would be so successful if you weren't so lazy! “
My parents used to say "You're too young to be so forgetful."
Hang in there, Sara. You are smart. You found this channel and these videos are informative and so very helpful.
same but with my dad
her: your reward system might work a little differently
normal people: i get to do. (insert random thing person wants to do next day) lets go to sleep so we can do that sooner
me: oooo i get to do (insert same random thing) lets stay up until it’s time to do that
YES! It's so epically frustrating because I'm totally aware that if I don't sleep, I'll be too tired to fully enjoy the thing, but my brain just doesn't want to listen!
Omg yes all of this!
me
I honestly didn’t know this wasn’t normal! 👀
J - it is normal
I’m crying so hard. I’m holding the kitchen counter and sobbing. My family has believe dim lazy and unmotivated for years and I just never have been able to explain it well enough
Baby get medicated
Ur not alone.
Both of these ^
@@Lili-ey1ndit’s hard
Another tip for chores: Suggest doing it together.
Once you both get started you might find your ADHDer is more than happy to do the rest themselves (while you stay nearby).
Companionship & teamwork = dopamine = motivation 😊
You are right, my wife suffers from ADD she is now 74, she is gradually getting worse and now I understand what it means to love someone. We the people who have to live with someone with ADD, have to be patient, caring, loving, understanding, empathic, helpful. She is a wonderful human being and I feel very fortunate to be her husband.
"...which is why going to bed can be such a huge challenge..."
> looks at clock
> is 3:18am
Me: ...I'm going to ignore that.
Lmao 1:54am for me
.... I don't even realize there's that part on the video. I must be distracted 😂😂😂😂
@@moonhajung6742 time blindness
@@ddiq47 in my house on my own binge watching Netflix oh bleep is that the time 4:30am better get some sleep
It's 4:26am. Everyday, for me.
I
Aww thank you, really hope it’s helpful for you!!
im crying too as they kept diagnosing me with all kinds of stuff and meds that made me sick until now and its so heartbreaking for everyone to keep telling u to just fix it. imagine being accused of wanting stimulants to sell as a 17 year old that never got diagnosed because she had anti drug and doctor parents.... this video hits home and i hope i can get the right help with the knowledge this wonderful and empowering woman has given us. if she can do it- WE CAN, TOO!!!! :'(
My husband said the same thing 🙂
@@mariapiccoli6220 hello, if you have any issues with medications for ADHD in the future, I highly recommend the genetic test through the company GeneSight. My former counselor had me do one of those early on, and it took a lot of the trial-and-error out of finding the right medication for me!
I'm forwarding some of these videos to my son's teachers. A couple teachers are very receptive and supportive. The others are just robots and only put in the bare minimum of effort.
Hyperactivity in emotion, never occurred to me
RIGHT?!?!?! It explains so much now.
Fran Gish lucky
me either! holy cow that was a revelation and explains so much about what I have been going through lately!
Oh my lord!! I am not joking I think I had an epiphany! I have hyperactivity with my emotions aka relationships,
This is huuuuuuuugggggeeeeee
I wish I could go back in time and show this to every employer and girlfriend I've ever had. There's no telling how many arguments and how much heartbreak I could've saved myself. But now I have a potentially awesome partner to whom I WILL show this!
Aw yay, nothing like a happy ending!!! :D
It gets better. She's a brain too and she loves your videos too!
Scott Lanway...i have add or adhd....don't know exactly....anyways...i am very sensative emotionaly....if someone yells at me i feel like crying and it's hard not to...i'm 34...does that have to do with my add/adhd or is it just me?
If you are on Ritalin, you will less likely to go to jail
it has a ton to do with it, she does a really good video on emotional regulation :)
As someone diagnosed with ADHD at the tender age of, 52, I can't tell you strongly enough how amazing your videos are. This one in particular got me teary-eyed by the end. ADHD and lack of understanding have caused a lot of destruction in my life. To myself and to others. It has destroyed relationships, destroyed careers...cost me my freedom. Cost me my family. And cost me to lose 1 and a half years of being a father to my young son.
The last several minutes of your video hit me very hard. If certain people in my life were kind enough to empathize with me, rather than seeing my behavior as premeditated and willfully hurtful, things could've turned out better for everyone involved.
Keep up the great work.
George
Hi George I'm 51 and have just been diagnosed, I totally understand where you're coming from, let's hope life goes onwards and upwards from here good luck
Hi guys, I'm 52 and I am still questioning if I should seek professional help with this thing. It's been a rough ride my entire life.
I feel your pain George.
I agree bro im 35 and dealing with it myself as well its hard but she just doesnt understand and or even tries with me she just yells and fights with me and you know how that tends to workout lol
Being recently diagnosed with ADHD, this too got me teary eyed by the end. I appreciate you immensely for your videos. Everything I've ever been going through my entire life makes so much sense. Thank you so much for your videos.
It's one thing to empathize with you and to have sympathy for you, but if you're not putting in the effort to stop hurting the people around you, then that means you're not doing a good enough job.
4:55 it brought a tear to my eyes. My wife always complained that I never tried. But she doesn't know that I had given up years ago.
Dear Hearts--I have another one for the "Losing Stuff" section at 4:11: I would like to ask for your patience and understanding while I do an inventory check before leaving for somewhere. As someone who CONSTANTLY loses her things thanks to ADHD, it is absolutely critical that I look over my belongings each and every time I prepare to transition to a new location. Please do not rush me while I do this, or tease me about it, or otherwise try to convince me to skip it; For one, half-assing this procedure is not a good idea, and is an invitation for disaster (as I commented in another of Jessica's vids, last year I walked off the bus without taking my huge carryall purse with me). I am also already extremely self-concious about my forgetfulness and my religious dependence on organizational strategies, and drawing more attention to this routine only makes me feel more incompetent and silly. Just give me an uninterrupted minute or two to get my shit straight, and we can be off on our merry way--valuables and all.
Thanks, Hearts. :)
Oh my goodness, I could’ve written these exact words.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure hehe
Don't have ADHD, don't know anyone with ADHD, I just watch because I really like your personality lmao
She's quite captivating, isn't she? I think that is by design.
It’s the adhd 👍🏽
Snatched. GREAT..
I have adhd
Hi, Snatched! I bet you actually do know people with ADHD, some of us just hide it pretty well. Or you think we're just being perky and forget what we're saying a lot. Or. Look! There's a deer in my yard!
"Just because we agreed to it, doesn't mean we will remember it" Perfect. If you decide to sell shirts, that one would be awesome.
To be so sensitive yet accused of laziness and/or apathy is so painful.
I can't cope without the routine. I have a strict morning routine yet still get small distrcrations so its become part of that routine to be late every day by 10 minutes.
Now that is a true ADHD comment!
What if you wake up 10 minuten earlier? Or perhaps even a few minutes earlier, as you'll get distracted in those 10 minutes.
@@Cabutronize then we'll end up getting distracted for 20 minutes
I could launch ww2 if my divine morning rituals are being interrupted, though used to be the most dedicated waiter/server at this restaurant I worked at.
I also have a strict morning routine: Sleeping.
When I told my best friend I have ADHD, she wanted to bang my head against the wall. She meant that as a joke, but it hurt. It hurt even more when she said she didn't think I'd be mentally ill for so long. I was first diagnosed with anxiety and depression before my therapist noticed my fidgeting and spacing out during therapy. I'm doing my best to move forward without hurt or grudges, and soothe myself. I'm thankful for this community and the support you're giving me. I'm pushing through life because I know I'm not alone.
That doesnt sound like an appropriate joke.. maybe you can find better friends...(?)
You are not alone, and you are so enough!!!!
Adhd is not a mentally disorder. Is a neurotransmitic disorder.
I just keep laughing at myself?? I feel so validitaded for the first time in 57 years. The bookstore one is soooo me!! I know you're probably getting tired of my comments I've been like non-stop watching you for two days now. Just feels good to finally be understood!! 😭😭😭
I love the fact that YOUR ADHD keeps MY ADHD interested in your videos because you move and bob around so much I actually focus on everything you say. Also, you’ve helped me understand my ADHD so much. I honestly thought it was just a learning disability for 17 years, but now so much makes sense! Thank you!!!!!
I have showed some of these videos to my husband with ADHD. We are high school sweethearts and I've seen it effect his change to adulthood in so many ways. Your videos are helping him so much. After a few videos he said you should be president. :) Thank you and I look forward to more.
She should be president! Probably better than Trump and Hillary,(but idk about better than Gary Johnson (sorry I'm a huge fan of him))
I don't think presidency is a place for nice, fun, intelligent and caring people. Just friendly speaking xD
Steampunkfairy aww my husband and I are high school sweethearts, I'm working with a therapist who referred me to a doctor to get a official dx so it's looking like I may have ADHD. my husband watches these videos with me sometimes and it helps us so much.
she really should be lmao
Hey! Same here! High school sweetheart with and ADHD hubby!
This is so helpful, especially near the last part. I tend to parent my boyfriend and I hate doing it but he doesn't take responsibility or look after himself properly so I do it in his best interest. This helps me realise not to take everything on because I will become stressed by doing everything myself and I will likely become resentful, but I see how hard he works to make sure I'm happy and he's not too bad at remembering things. He's emotionally sensitive and one drawback pulls him back down again and negatively impacts his mood. I've been researching ADHD and being with someone with it and it's helping me understand his thoughts and how he views things, as well as how to support him when he feels overwhelmed in life and emotionally. Your channel is very helpful!
As someone who has been babied his whole life, it's really frustrating for us, and it really doesn't help in the long run, I promise.
There are so many things in life that I've never done (or barely done) because someone would always step in to do them when I struggled slightly, and because of that _I'm very bad at doing them._ Which makes me struggle, which makes people step in, which further inhibits my ability to grow as a person. It certainly made me less than I could be.
Speaking from experience, we become so used to being babied that we don't really know how to take responsibility. If we were really dreading the thing, part of us feels a little relief, but we *always* feel babied, and every time it's a blow to our self esteem and self worth.
It may feel like you are doing it in his best interest, but it's very probably not the case. Try to help him do it and learn to do it, but don't do it for him, that's the best thing you can do.
You sound like my girlfriend 😂 I love her so much ( fellow adhd'er ,tell hubby I said hi)
How’s it going now 5 years later?
I was diagnosed in my mid 50's after struggling all my life. I was sad at first, feeling I'd wasted my life having had lots of jobs, destroyed relationships etc. But now I'm now on a brilliant ADHD journey of discovery. The Meds are good, but your videos are awesome in helping me understand ADHD. Thank you so much!
This gives me hope 🙏🏽😊
Wow, my girl sent me this video. I never thought about having adhd but this video hits A LOT of points and issues I deal with. Imma have to go through more videos of hers.
Are y’all doing well?
I've lived with ADHD all my life, and I think I am just now realizing that my spouse of 13 years might have it too. He has so many of these symptoms.
Every point, she hit home and with every point being hit home I became aware of how so many points were being hit home and I realized I’ve been misidentifying a lot of this as who I am (and carried a lot of guilt and shame for not being better) not what my brain does. And realizing these are all to do with ADHD made me cry.
I love my partner so much and this made me cry. Cause he feels less than and Ive told him hes not less than any normal person. His brain is just wired differently. I love your videos thank you so much.
When I was a kid my parents used to say that if I put half as much effort into doing my chores as I do getting out of them we'd have the cleanest home in the neighborhood. I kinda wish my parents knew more about it at the time and maybe they would have put more energy into helping me cope rather than trying to convince me that I was normal.... Anyways great content.
Holy cow this is the most accurate representation of ADHD I’ve ever heard.
The one sentence "if we are still here, we do" hurts so much that I cried.
Listening to something I already heard like one of my "comfort" shows helps me focus on conversations. Idk it feels like it engages one side of my brain while the other focuses on the conversation.
There’s no way our challenges don’t affect our love ones! It’s part of the guilt I’ve had forever!
The last part of the video made me cry. Thank you :')
Right? Same. "..or us not caring, ..bc if we're still here, ...we do."
Reachel Glasser me too
Same here😢
😢 so many of these videos make me cry it's astounding, and such a relief! ❤
Same here
As someone who has ADD whos also married to a hubby with ADD, this was soooo helpful! Sometimes even some of us who have ADD can forget to be understanding to our fellow brains. Thanks for the helpful vid! Love this channel
And that each brain will be different!
@howtoADHD can you make a video on THIS?? I have ADHD and so does my partner (both realized recently, in our 30's) but I find, even though I'm the one that's into personal development and educating myself on ADHD via CZcams and Podcasts, I catch myself frequently parenting (and sometimes criticizing). I don't mean to, I know he doesn't do any of it on purpose, but some things he does (or doesn't) do can be SO frustrating. Our brains are so similar yet also SO different. Some tips about how to see things from different perspectives or how to manage a dual ADHD relationship would be helpful. I know there needs to be give and take on both sides but I think realizing the why's behind his (in)action + solutions would help. This video was helpful but is more general and left me wanting more specifics. :)
@@kristannlee @howtoADHD I totally second that request! I'm 50 and just diagnosed a few months ago. I've struggled my entire life but now I know it is called ADHD. I really thought I would be able to find greater understanding and community with other BRAINS I know but sadly, not so much. My experience has been that the longer somebody has been diagnosed as neurodivergent, the less understanding they have for those new to the party. The struggle is real but I am grateful for these videos and the understanding they give me.
I have adhd fidgeting hyperactive racing thoughts losing stuff i get discouraged
I can only focus 1 thing at a time
My favorite video thank you
I really need this because I don't know what to say with the guy I'm talking to with ADHD, I grow fond of him and wanted him to feel that I genuinely care. Hope he's fine rn.
Girl, I literally cried over this video.No one has ever understood me and I was feeling so much shame and discouragement because I taught I was abnormal and that it was all my fault. Continue doing those videos, you have no idea how comforting it is to others. I am actually going to share it with the poeple that are close to me so they can learn from it. You are amazing. Thank you:)!
I learned I had ADHD when I was in 3rd grade. I'm now 28 and I have learned to control it most of the time but I just got married and still arguments with my wife are tough. I think this will help out a lot. I just found your channel.
Yay new brain! Welcome to the tribe
I found out in 3rd grade also, I was about 9 or 10. I'm 15 now and am constantly developing new ways to help myself control my ADHD.
i just found out that i have ADHD and im 25 now it explained a lot of my behavior and hopfully it will help me deal with it in the future
Raymond Candelaria I am a gifted students with high grades, as a child I never when to councilors, therapists, physiatrists barley even the doctor and when I went I was to sick to stay awake, or in to much pain. I'm 13 and still often described as strange, hyperactive and told I can never sit still, I often fidget with pens and also tap my foot when I have nothing in my hand. I was never diagnosed, but I experience the symptoms of a person with ADHD. But I'm starting to struggle with staying on task at school and while it's not deeply impacting my grades, I fell the quality of my work is worsening. I don't know how to approach my parents because when I do they will automatically reject the notion not even giving it a shot. They are both educators in the school system and have high standards. Please help
As a woman (without ADHD) dating a man (with ADHD), I would highly suggest watching these videos and reading articles about ADHD with your wife.
"Blessing, and a Curse" phrase always makes me think of the TV show, Monk!
I have a friend from church who I've become a lot closer with this year. I always thought she just had a crazy personality but she told me a couple weeks ago that she had ADHD. I looked it up the next day and that made everything make a LOT more sense. Many of the behaviors you're describing in this video are very apparent now that I realize what's going on!
I recently found your videos. I've struggled with ADHD for a long time and was officially diagnosed a few years ago, in my late 30's. I'm seriously crying about the "not trying hard enough" I've felt so alone feeling like just trying "to life" is so hard. Thank you.
I'm hyper focusing now
TEDDY Teddy Teddy puppy 10 vids in a row.. haha
Starting more than I finish is also why my home's usually very messy
I’m watching this in a train and I’m trying so hard to not cry. I feel so sorry for myself.
This is a great video and I really enjoy your videos and how you explain things. But I think people may underestimate how difficult it truly can be to be the partner or family member to someone with ADHD. It's not a failing on either parts, but sometimes it can prove to be too much. Thanks for your great videos.
Having a friend with ADHD and watching this video has helped me understand more about the struggles he faces everyday. This has been informative and helpful in so many ways...thank you
Same. I’m watching this for a friend ( others as well). I want to be able to do what I can to help with whatever he is doing or needs.
Without being a parent( even though I am that parent friend-) or someone who is putting him down of course.
we do! As she stated so succinctly here"if we are still here ..."
This video actually made me cry. Everything about my partner makes so much more sense now. Thank you so much and bless you for this extensive content about ADHD. More people should educate themselves to understand.
I go back to this video whenever I feel frustrated with my partner who has ADHD. its honestly extremely helpful, thanks for making great content
I am a heart, and I come to this channel to fill my cup with fresh perspective on adult ADHD.
Ive had so so SO many metaphorical spice racks through out my life.
I am a parent to a child who potentially has ADHD and with just 3 videos here and the one that TED posted on Facebook, you have helped me so much at being a better parent. I could also have this brain difference, so it’s an incredible learning opportunity for me to have found you. Thank you so incredibly much for all of the work that you have done and that you continue to do!!!
I wish my soon to be ex wife and I had this video years ago. Sadly, it's too late for us, but hopefully these videos will help any future relationship I have.
And if either our children have ADHD, hopefully this will help her understand them better.
:(
I'm right there with you, now 4 years later. Going to get tested officially and then get my kids tested. I just hope this divorce is not as slow as it is painful.
I know this is like 4 years late but that's the same reason im looking at this to see how I can help him better in school its tuff but I love him an really wants to understand the way his brain works
THANK YOU Jessica - for a video that I just shared on FB with my family & friends that explains for me without me rambling and overexplaining, and heading down multiple rabbit trails and thus getting lost.... well- you know....
I've only just discovered your channel a few weeks ago. Initially I binged watched.... I laughed. I became aware of WHY I struggle and that it's how my brain is, not that I'm broken. Knowing doesn't mean all is better - it just means I can be more aware and accepting I need to walk over a hill while others have a flat path. It means if I'm distracted by the TV in the other room as I'm trying to read a recipe and make dinner- I need to be proactive and have my Bluetooth headset charged up (and nearby) so I can turn on some music and focus on that recipe rather than getting frustrated and having a melt down.
I really like that you work hard to make your videos short. So many other videos on ADHD/ADD get toooooo long and I can't stay with them. I hope you continue to keep on making videos and showing ADHD in the positive light- as it isn't negative, people have just made it that way. Thank you also for being fun about it- it's easier to remember when we have fun and laugh.
Hello Jessica,I have ADHD (though I don’t think I’m hyperactive) I struggle to complete daily tasks like any other ADHDer but there’s something that usually pisses me off about the family members that give me such instructions… THEY. DON’T. SPECIFY. They just give me vague instructions of what I have to do, and tell me that it’s “logical” or “too obvious” to over explain the instructions, but then when I do it wrong they get pissed off. And I’m just sitting here like 😐😑😤😤😤😤 And I’ve had discussions with said family members and I just want to scream at them at this point. As of this moment I am 19 and I was diagnosed with ADHD at 4th or 5th grade. BTW I found this channel thanks to ur interview with Anthony Padilla and I hope I can learn more about myself with ur videos.
THANKS! I'm in my late 30s, and have just been diagnosed with ADHD so schooling everything about it is a bit of a chore. The fact these are short and snappy is what I needed. Ive found it so ironic that many ADHD vids are about 30 mins or so long (I admit I found myself going off to another site mid-video with this - no reflection on the content)!
Thank you! I almost cried. I haven't been diagnosed with ADHD but i am 100% positive that i have it. At least i know i am not alone.
you're not alone! You're part of the tribe
My boyfriend and I both have ADHD. heh. Our relationship is pretty fun though
Something different would have been unexpected, since it´t a HEALTHY relationsship.
When you said hyperactivity doesn’t necessarily have to be physical but also mental it made something click for me. Thank you.
4:19 "the house looks great. we also have no idea where anything is"
god this hits so hard
❤
I love this channel, my self-esteem is better now, thank you 🖤
My "fidget cube" at work is a clicky pen that I click over and over and over and over...... But it helps me stay tuned into the conversation better.... While driving all my coworkers crazy. Lol!!
DiffiCulture Shock having ADHD is not an excuse for being inconsiderate
I use a fidget tube. Pushing a marble back and forth in a tube is quiet but very helpful
i fidget with pens too, which is highly annoying to other people and usually ends up with me breaking pens. Funny thing is, if I hear other people clicking pens, it drives me mad! In an effort to be mindful, i find a small, smooth stone can be even more effective than a pen. I just turn it over and over in my hand. It's quiet and somehow soothing.
For some reason during school I always start tapping my foot on the floor
I like the last point. I don't want someone to take care of me especially because I don't see what they are doing for me and they can get frustrated with me "taking it for granted"
I can’t stop crying this hit too hard
I lost my best friend because he doesnt understand ADHD and we tried being roommates...bad combo.
no literally same. everything i did was the wrong thing
At the same time you can understand where they're coming from. Don't be a slob and then use it as an excuse
@@stephenhumphrey7586 you shouldn’t talk like you know what happened. it’s the opposite actually, i’m a germaphobe and she was the “slob.” we aren’t using our adhd as an excuse we are just trying to make sense of what happened. Additionally, adhd affects every part of myself, including my personality. So it’s less of an excuse and more of a valid reason.
Man, Finally I think i found a channel that might actually help me overcome/manage my ADHD and help me come to terms with not hating myself for my inadequacies
“Notice and appreciate our effort more often than our failures, and we’ll probably surprise you”… I hope I meet someone like this one day. Honestly. I wonder if ADHD brains and ADHD brains make good couples. It’d be hectic but the support, care and interestingness would always be there. 🤞🤞🤞
"If we're still here, we do". I'm borderline, not adhd, (best friend is though, and he's the same way) but this is so true for me, too. My brains need for novelty makes me capable of just dropping people who don't... fit. If you've managed to keep me around, it's because I want to be.
"The house is either a mess or you've been taking on way more of the chores than is fair", when have you visited our house? I work from home and do most of the chores, simply because asking my husband and then reminding him ten times before he does it is too much work, when I can just do it right away on my own... Yes, we're working on getting him evaluated to get official diagnosis, but it would honestly explain so much about him and his lifelong issues.
Did you try making a game out of it?
I nearly died at the cook book example at 1:06. So accurate its wonderful and hilarious.
I love these videos. You guys do such phenominal job!
I'm not crying... YOU are!
While I currently am in the process of getting a diagnosis, I’m thankful for my mom helping me in the morning getting out the door for work. Mornings are hard for me, so she grabs my mask, keys, water, and snacks for breaks (we work together)
This is something i needed, my girl have ADHD, it helped a lot
💙💚💜 You're doing such an awesome job with these vids and info. And they're so easy and interesting to watch. Thnx so much for sharing lovely. Sending love from Australia xoxo 💚💙💜
And thank u to Edward also 💙💚💜
AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE
OY!OY!OY!
The first thing I saw this morning was your speech on TedTalk and I'm glad that out of all the thousands of tedtalk motivating and self videos the youtube recommendation system was intelligent enough to show me the thumbail of your video. To be frank firstly when I saw the video I wasn't aware of ADHD and just saw as some other random video. For years I knew I had this problem and I was afraid to acknowledge it as problem as I didn't feel that I have come across anyone who has this or maybe I haven't focused enough to observe it. In that TEDTalk video of yours I was totally able to recall my childhood , the blames and cries I had because of this problem . I have always been the intelligent kid but have trouble when it comes to prioritizing and remembering things. Now 25 , I think still I'm pretty fortunate to know about ADHD this early and would dedicate time to learn more about ADHD and my brain. I want to thank you for lettting me know that ADHD and would look forward to get help from your youtube video content.
This made me cry, a lot...
I was diagnosed with ADHD in first grade (6 years old). I am now 31. I have had such a hard time understanding my own diagnosis. And this made it so much easier to figure myself out. Just recently found your channel. And subscribed. Thank you! ❤️
OMG! I'm watching this video as someone with ADHD just recently diagnosed (ugh almost 30) and I laughed at how amazingly on point these all were. I can't wait to show my husband. I subscribed to your channel yesterday and I can't wait to watch the rest of your videos. It's nice not feeling alone or for me "broken" as I've so long described myself. Much love and thanks. 💗💗💗💗💗💗
Iv just turned 30 and thought iv "not been well for years" I have been diagnosed with allsorts anxiety ocd depression fibromalgia memory loss but never adhd iv never been convinced about my diagnosis now I'm thinking it's all just adhd. I'm suppose to be talking to my doctor on thu after having some cbt recently but I'm struggling to explain how I feel its really hard and always come across wrong. I told her I get obsessed with stuff like starting new tasks all the time and she said that's doesn't mean you defo have adhd as that's not a sign! So I'm confused now?
3:53 that explains why I was always able to clean my room when my brother and I played “shopping” where basically we’d bring the ironing board into the room, and it would be the checkout counter. We shared a room (he’s trans and this was before he transitioned) so we’d take turns being the “clerk” and the “shopper”. The shopper would bring a random item from the room, “buy” it at the counter, and then once it was bought, they’d put it where it belonged in the room. That’s how we cleaned our room for years before we got older and my brother didn’t want to play games to clean anymore. I’m undiagnosed btw but my other brother, who had a separate room from us, was diagnosed a few years ago and I have most of the symptoms and am working on getting a diagnosis
my husband and i are both brains *and* hearts as we both have ADHD. we were both diagnosed later in life, though he was diagnosed years (45 diagnosed at 38) before i was (47 diagnosed at 47). while i've always been able to "manage" my symptoms and found ways to help me cope without medication, he never gained that ability. hearing him talk about how his parents and teachers were towards him growing up and giving the stereotypical "try harder", "lazy", etc, it absolutely breaks my heart. i know that there is nothing i can say or do to reverse that damage and it tears me up (and he knows this, b/c we talk about it). and so i make it a point to encouragingly help him (like finding "fun" ways of doing tasks, positive recognition of things he does or progress he makes). sometimes, when we encounter situations where there are challenges when the coping mechanisms do not work as desired, i work with him to find other ways...sometimes, i tell him what works for me (sometimes it helps him, sometimes it doesn't).
we are still trying to figure out how "remember" to do daily tasks, b/c things we have tried thus far aren't working. b/c we don't have anything in place that "works" (it's a trial and error thing...and we just haven't found it yet), i have to remind him to do some things (like empty/run dishwasher, mow yard, etc). but i have outright told him that i am not his mother...so, i refuse to parent him. i will work with him to help to the best of my ability.
the down-side of us both having ADHD is that sometimes he forgets that i have it, too, and he'll get upset with me if i'm displaying the same kind of symptoms...i have to remind him that he's not on the ADHD symptom ship alone...i'm right there with him. additional down-side is that i also have OCD tendencies, so things have a place and i go overboard, sometimes, trying to keep things organized. i try not rearranging things (b/c, hey, i gotta remember, too), but when i do (sometimes it is necessary), i go over the changes with him to make sure he has been made aware of it
We found your CZcams channel after viewing your TEDtalk, just a week ago. My 11 yr daughter (our ADHD brain) loves your videos! It has been amazing to see the impact on her self esteem and confidence in such a short time! She looks forward to watching a video each day and can't wait to share what she learns with us. She is so excited to have a community that "gets" her. Thank you so much! 🥰
These videos are awesome. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 12 and took medication till 16 then stopped. Now at age 27 I'm getting back on it. Now that I'm older and understand what it is. It's crazy watching these videos and noticing. Yea I do that or, ah that's why.
The impulsivity and lack of emotional regulation is horrible. Finally seeking a diagnosis this Friday.
Self sabotage and day where I literally cannot complete a single task are destroying me.
I can’t go on like this much longer
3:43 So that's why I always NEED music that I can sing along to when doing my chores, it makes so much sense. It also makes sense why I then absolutely hate using the vacuum cleaner, as it overpowers the music.
I am a 43 year old ADHDer diagnosed at 37-38 which explained my whole childhood. YIKES. Now I am also a single mom with a 9 year ADHD son and talk about struggles. While I'm so glad to have found this channel (I tend to stay away from internet and social media because of the tractor beam affect) I am also feeling very guilty for my parenting style and the years of criticism I've shown my son (newly diagnosed) thinking that he just likes to make me mad, or purposefully ignores me etc. OBVIOUSLY, I haven't done a lot of research on the topic but have purchased many books on it. All of which I have yet to finish reading any of. (kind of my kryptonite-finishing a book). This channel in the 10 days or so that I've known about it has already changed my life (ok well, we're working on it.) We have made the calming glitter bottles and now have requests from my son's friends for their very own which has helped him be able to talk about his ADHD. I have sent a few videos to loved ones because I CLEARLY am over wordy in my explanations and sometimes it's just better to hear things from a different source. I write this today (never ever posted a public comment in my life) because my feelings were hurt this morning by a very close friend who instructed me to 'let things go' , ' learn to get over it', 'you see things very myopic'. I was only able to over look these comments because I realized that my friend has no idea what ADHD is like to live with nor does she know anyone close to her that has lived and suffered with it (yes, I've suffered for 37-8 years before diagnosis). I just sent her this video in hopes that she can gain some understanding in why I am how I am. Wish me luck. Thank you for being you and standing in your truth, you're helping me do it too. Love, a new brain
+MJ S ow my heaaaarrrt :) that was so raw and beautiful, thank you for sharing and it's never too late to learn. I wish I'd known what I know now years ago but it's still helping and will make me a better friend, partner and parent down the road. So happy to have you in the tribe!!!
I've been binge watching these videos. I was recently diagnosed with adhd. I had not been tested or treated during childhood. These videos are really helping me understand my diagnosis and how to cope with the symptoms that it causes.
What I have learned over the years is that music certainly helps. It can kinda calm your brain down
time to send this video to the hearts in my life bc i feel like there's things that they think of adhd that this video will help clear up so they can understand me a little bit better
You have made my life so much easier :) I have also learned to be more compassionate towards myself!
I just discovered this channel thanks to your TED talk. As the mother of a young adult with ADHD, I feel like I've found a lifeline for me and her! Can't wait to watch more....
i just discovered today that my internet friend has adhd, i didn’t know how to act and was scared of hurting him or saying something wrong so thanks for this video! it really helped me a lot understand him a bit better, and talk to him the right way!
I love that people at my job don't mind that I do my job and come to meetings with a cross stitch project in my hands. My choir lets me do it too, even when I end up fumbling the sheets some times.
I would like to thank you so much because I have ADHD and ive always have had trouble in my relationships (even some were emotionally abusive) and this makes so muuuuch sense!
it's as if you are explaining me (mostly) in a nutshell!!!!!
I am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my CZcams channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💙❤
The start and stop but starting multiple times really makes sense when you have ADDHD and you’re trying to clean your room
My fiancé has ADHD that went undiagnosed until he was in his twenties. He’s being treated now but it can be hard for him (and me) at times. I’ve been watching your channel and it has been so helpful! Thank you for this video.
Thank you so much for everything you do for the ADHD community!
I am soooo glad that I found your channel! My 9 yo sister was diagnosed when she was around 4, and constantly struggles with learning to manage her symptoms. And we are still struggling to learn how we need to react as well. I'm really hoping that your channel will help all of us as she grows.
Sadly, many folks think we can just choose to change our behavior, and thus are blamed for choosing to.exibit our negative symptoms.
That has become my life motto. Never try 100%. Always give up. Don't try harder.
It's not as bad as it sounds. I skimmed through school n focus on skills that actually interested me instead. N made me try creatively instead of trying harder.