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- čas přidán 21. 10. 2020
- Heeeyyyyy! It has been a while since I last posted, or probably you've noticed that I haven't been posting as much. In this video, I've shared what I've been up to and why I needed to take a step back from this.
VIEWERS:
Closed Captions (CC) & transcript are both included. This video is in International Sign (note that International Sign comprises a lot of signs from American Sign Language [ASL]). Spanish CC and transcript are also now available ~ a big THANK YOU to @manoscommunications to make this content available in Spanish. Hugs! Their website: manoscommunications.com.
Don’t forget to follow or click subscribe on CZcams for more videos!: bit.ly/2oLbhcR
Where else you can find me :)
Website: www.deafinitelywanderlust.com
Facebook: deafinitelywanderlust
Instagram: @deafinitelywanderlust
TikTok: @deafinitelywanderlust
Twitter: @deafwanderlust
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
¿Entonces, qué ha pasado?
¡Heeeyyyyy! Ha pasado un tiempo desde la última vez que publiqué, o probablemente se hayan dado cuenta de que no he estado publicando tanto. En este video, les he compartido lo que he estado haciendo y por qué necesitaba dar un paso atrás en esto".
Los subtítulos en español y la transcripción están disponibles ~ Haga clic aquí para la transcripción en español: bit.ly/3t0kvAV. un gran agradecimiento a Manos Communcations por hacer este contenido disponible en español. ¡Abrazos! Su sitio web: manoscommunications.com. La transcripción en español está fijada en la sección de comentarios.
Transcription:
[A light-skinned Mexican-American female is standing in the front of the camera. she’s wearing colorful floral earrings and a black tank top. She’s standing in a room. Behind her, the flag of Mexico is hanging on the door behind her. On her right, a black TV, plants and printed photos of the dogs are on the selves. The logo of Facebook, Instagram, and CZcams appeared on the top right corner of the video, followed by “@deafinitelywanderlust” in a white text.]
I'm really nervous
to (publicly) share my feelings.
(deep breath)
hey!
So, many have you messaged me
wondering what's going on with me
this year of 2020 and last year.
You noticed that I've been posting
fewer and fewer videos here.
So in this video, I'll be sharing
about what's up and to, basically,
answer your questions.
Okay, well.
This year, 2020, has been...crazy.
As you already know,
Everything changed.
The Coronavirus-19 pandemic changed the world.
All of ours - yours, mine plans
My plan for this year was to travel too
All of my plans got canceled.
but I am okay with that, because
I really needed to focus on my mental health
Regarding my mental health, maybe some of you
already know that I have depression and anxiety
Maybe you're not comfortable with this topic
about mental health
But you know what,
this is the reality of life.
Many of you, Deaf people,
including Hearing people, they do have
mental health (issues/illnesses)
Talking about mental health not be stigmatized
Mental health matters too.
And I want to be able to share it with you
and to be honest with myself,
that it's part of my life.
This year and last year, I've been experiencing
depression, that also includes
lack of concentration,
which has been really hard.
extreme tiredness (fatigue)
I was constantly tired and sleepy
Even when I slept for 8 hours, I still
experience extreme tiredness.
It was just impossible for me to edit videos
while being extremely tired and unable to focus.
So, I thought about it and think it's for me to
decrease my time (for this platform),
and it's better for me to this, so I won't be
faking or fooling myself and you guys with a smile
and keep on posting videos.
I want to be honest if I were to film myself
To be more honest about how I am.
I want to able to enjoy editing videos
show it to you all while respecting
different Deaf people that I meet around the world
when sharing their stories with you.
If I were to edit them with a lack of focus
and motivation, then it's likely that the videos
would be bad (lack of effort).
and I don't want to edit while dealing with these.
That means I set up boundaries for myself,
and use this platform every now and then.
I also have been busy with other jobs that I have
which I've been focusing on saving money
for my future travel!
I'll see how that goes!
Another thing to mention is
your compliments for me,
your support,
I am really thankful and even
surprised about it.
But why am I surprised about it???
You believe in me.
You like the videos that I've been posting.
umm...
But when it comes to myself,
whenever I film myself,
I've been very, very critical with myself.
Did I believe in myself?
I didn't.
I just felt like I wasn't a good person,
I feel like a fake person.
I didn't think I'm a good video editor.
I believe that I wasn't good at it.
I thought I was a bad filmmaker.
I wanted perfection.
I wanted perfect edited videos.
I wanted to make perfect videos.
I wanted the stories to be perfectly portrayed.
I wanted to be able to sign perfectly.
I want perfection in every single thing.
The list just goes on and on.
damn.
These perfections that I wanted mean
that I've been having HIGH expectations of myself
The expectations of myself were so high that
I was aiming for it while being critical of myself.
Thinking that I wasn't doing good enough.
I've been overworking (mentally) to reach that expectation
I felt like I have been running endlessly (in a circle)
again, again, and again.
I find myself hesitating to post an edited video,
thinking that the video wasn't good enough
and wasn't a good idea to post it,
so, I put that away.
It happened again when I edited another video.
I put it away.
It was a lot of pressure - stress.
I was overthinking everything.
I knew my HIGH expectations were unrealistic
and impossible to meet them
Damn, I really destroyed my own confidence.
My confidence became lower and lower.
The expectations that I have for myself
is the problem.
As long as I can remember,
I've been scared of
F A I L U R E
I was scared to show my mistakes.
I was scared if I unintentionally insulted anyone
I was scared if I didn't meet your expectations.
I was scared if I didn't try hard enough and
just fail myself and everyone.
I was scared of failing.
It was a real PROBLEM.
I mean, why?!? (talking to myself)
I grew up wanting to be...
good
enough.
yeah.
Growing up, I felt that I was never good enough.
So, I always have been striving to meet expectations.
So, that's why I really needed to
set up boundaries.
But, wow, this year (2020),
it has been helping me to focus more on myself.
and slowly make progress.
I slowly started to feel better.
Better - not perfect.
Now, I've accepted that I will make some mistakes
and to know that it's okay.
Normally, it will happen because I'm human.
What matters is that I'll learn from it
accept that and apologize publicly if it happens
I may or may not able to post a weekly video
but I will post some videos
that fits me better, for my mental health.
Despite the challenges that I have,
I absolutely love sharing videos
about languages,
cultures,
travel,
people around the world,
animals,
and many more.
I mean...
the world is AMAZING.
and I only have ONE life.
Failures?
It's okay.
Thank you for listening
Stay tuned for future videos!
Peace!
[A dark mauve purple and white frame appeared with Stacey who remained standing in the center. In the mauve purple frame (top), a white text appeared on the top center: “www.deafinitelywanderlust.com.” The logo of Deafinitely Wanderlust appeared on the top right below the frame, which shows different paint colors splashed around two hands with open palms that are raising up. The hands are a blue and green color that represents the globe that includes different continents. On the bottom center of the white frame, the logo of Facebook, Instagram and CZcams appeared with “@deafinitelywanderlust.”]
Incredible thx for the translation
@@ceder4696 ms şmdi. S zzööö. ,ö, xd zözö, m, çözme, mxmxmmzllzzz. Zöpxx. Xlxöxs ka x
Thank you for being so open with us! I'm glad you've been able to use 2020 to focus on yourself and reevaluate. Whenever your videos come, I'll watch them. Whether it's weekly, monthly, or just once in a blue moon because I'm always impressed with them. Take care!
It was nervewracking but worth it! I always told that vulnerability isn't something that we should be ashamed of or be feared off. Like many, I was doing the talk, but not the walk, know what I mean? haha, so, hence why I did this video. Thank you, and be safe! 🙏🏼 😄
Please do not give up!! AND please do keep your life! ✊✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿
Thank you, Nathaniel! 🙏🏼 😄
Daef good
Thanks for sharing your story. 😊 I desire to remind you that you are not alone. You can count on me as your great friend. In truth, nothing is perfect, flaws are interesting, and be the tree! 😄 Also... "Use your smile to change the world, don't let the world change your smile." 😉
I'm looking forward to see your new content! I hope everything goes well! May God be with you!
Hola Juan! Thank you for your kindness and support! It has been a rough journey, and as you say - flaws can be interesting! Failures can also be the best way to figure out where you’re going. Thanks! 🙏🏼 😄
right, human is not prefect. I enjoyed watching your videos several times, as the deaf community needs to know the information and knowledge. Wow you are beautiful and smart. I am from brazil and deaf. love you 🤟🇧🇷
Thank you for loving the videos and listening to others' stories too! I appreciate your support!
Thank you for adding subtitles 😊
I'm trying to learn ASL and watching people use ASL with subtitles helps me learn a lot more then watching videos that are meant to teach.
I don't know why I'm weird lol
She's using Internation Sign Language here, FYI.
I know, everyone isn't perfect well. I just want to stay on your deserve to wonderful life. You can do it for today. I hope, you'll be understanding than thinking about it on past time 🙏.
Right, not just about past time, but past time can influence your thinking now too. But I am trying and will stay strong. :) Thank you for listening and understanding 🙏.
Thank you open and honest.
So good to see you back!
i fucking love what you do. take your time, love yourself, be patient, get rid of unrealistic expectations, take breaks, be surprised, let new content unfold. you are amazing and I will wait forever for your videos. no rush, just happiness.
That means a lot! Thank you, Austin!
🤟
Sending you infinity love and hugs! Watching this video, I can relate. Thank you for sharing from your heart, I can see how hard this was for you. And I'm so glad you kept going and just express it from your heart, which is so beautiful and heartwarming. I'm glad for you taking the time to focus on yourself and your mental health. Keep doing that. And be kinder to yourself. Btw I get those feelings etc but...."bad editor" and so on.... Hun! You're so much more talented than you think. You really are. I hope you start believing in yourself and really believe it. I know firsthand how hard it is to believe in myself, I've been there before, I still struggle sometimes but that's what self affirmations for, haha, knocking some sense and love back in myself and telling myself positive stuff about myself, and how I should know better, "you know who you are, believe in yourself, you got this! You know this Amrit" that sort of thing. But yeah I know how you feel. It's hard but please believe me when I tell you this, your editing skills, your storytelling, amplifying other people's stories are awesome. You'll keep improving and getting better and better and better as technology improve. I know this cos I'm an 3D/VFX Artist. When I thought I waa great, suddenly the technology improved, seeing skilled people levelling up...I then realised there's no limit of "perfection", we always keep learning, always evolving, always improving from yesterday, getting better and better. Once I learnt that, I became kinder to myself and focus on the "journey" itself, if that makes sense. But yeah, I get that feeling so well, aligning that feeling with mental health issues as well, it's a ROLLERCOASTER, I struggle with that as well. So I truly hope you're alot more kinder to yourself and believing in yourself. Huggies!!!!! This is a great video. 💛
Amrit! ❤ ❤ Thank you for sending all the love and virtual hugs! Thank you for sharing a little more about yourself with me. When it comes to our own skills (like you being a 3D/VFX artist), talents, passions, or even being in the public eye, we often become our own worst enemy. We can be even harsher to ourselves when we have other multiple layers, like dealing with mental health issues. Dealing and navigating ourselves with these feelings is exhausting. I had to affirm myself that I am a human being, constantly growing & evolving, and showing flaws are okay. I do know that there is the other side of fear, like...a blessing. You know? Peace. Nevertheless, it is a rollercoaster! We gotta hang on and tell ourselves we got this! Thank you again, Amrit. I hope we meet somewhere ❤❤
Know what? One thing you have not changed, your SMILE! Keep up what you are doing, don't be too perfect and stay healthy!
Sending lots of love! I’m glad to know you are taking care of yourself 💕♥️
❤❤❤❤❤!!
Sending lots of love! Thank you for sharing with us. I'm happy you're doing better and taking time for you. 😊
Saya setuju dengan awak. Kesihatan mental mesti sangat penting untuk kita semua. Saya pernah mengalaminya. Sekarang saya sihat dan kongsi yang saya nak luah. Saya sokong awak. Jangan berputus asa ya. Dari Malaysia.
I agree with you. Mental health must be very important to all of us. I have experienced it. Now I am healthy and share what I want to say. I support you. Do not give up. From Malaysia.
Yes, mental health should be equally important, just like physical health. There are a lot more mental health issues with Deaf communities for many reasons. That is why it's really important to talk about it in our community. I hope you are taking care of yourself and have a lot of love and support! Thank you for your support!
(dari terjemahan Google): Ya, kesihatan mental harus sama pentingnya, sama seperti kesihatan fizikal. Terdapat banyak masalah kesihatan mental dengan komuniti Pekak kerana banyak sebab. Itulah sebabnya sangat penting untuk membincangkannya dalam komuniti kita. Saya harap anda menjaga diri anda dan mempunyai banyak kasih sayang dan sokongan! Terima kasih atas sokongan anda!
I needed to see this today.
I really wait for your new videos, glad seeing you healthy and safe. Hope this pandemic gone as fast as possible.
be safe and stay healthy for you, your boyfriend, families, and all
I will share more videos (most from 2019, 2018) soon. 😉 Thank you, and stay safe!! 🙏🏼
It’s great to see videos advocating mental health! It’s great you’re focusing on yours and not allowing the idea of perfection to freeze you up!....I had never seen international sign before. I speak ASL and I understood 70 percent of this. Or at least the meaning of. And reading the transcript cleared the rest with what the signs I didn’t know specifically meant. Really interesting stuff!
Yes, even travelers deal with mental health too! A lot of people don't realize that, because we often seem to be carefree on social media when traveling. Yeah, there are a lot of ASL signs in International Sign (IS), but there are a couple of other signs from Europe, etc. To learn what's IS, read more about it here: wfdeaf.org/news/resources/faq-international-sign/ :)
Be safe and stay healthy and do what mostly important your life don't give up I know you can do it
Make your goals and make your dreams and remember God is with you always
Thanks!! I'll make it through!
Thank you for sharing this with us! You're an awesome person and one of my favorite content creators. Please take care of yourself!
Thank you! I will do, and I'll share some travel videos soon - the ones that I haven't shared yet! Stay safe! :)
You’re amazing for sharing your vulnerability!
It was definitely not easy but I wanted to be honest, thank you! 🙏🏼
I admire you for opening up! ❤ please take care of yourself first and know that your supporters will be here!
Thank you, Bethany! ❤
i wishes to meet her but she might make a positive point to understand her life.
natural video and no perfect video !
😃 💪🏼
👍👍👍
Finally you back!! Long time no see you but now understand your feelings but it normally can happen to mean not you alone many of us can feel almost the same as you but don't worry think positive & don't give up your power & skills you are great i enjoy it!! 👌😁
Haha, yes! I'll take it one day at a time. Thank you for understanding, and it has been a tough journey but I know I got this too. Thank you!
@@DeafinitelyWanderlust
You are most welcome!!
You write good English i am not sure if you are hearing but you Deaf, right?
@@7HWB Yes, I'm deaf, and there are several Deaf people who are also English privileged, like me. For those who were not able to build skills in the English language, it's due to the oppressive system of society. It's complex because there are a lot of reasons for that -but it's not because of our deafness. There are tons of information that you can find more about it on Google. :)
@@DeafinitelyWanderlust
Wow, it surprised me you are deaf very intelligent happy for you hope you keep it up!! And I am deaf too i use good ASL so maybe soon one day we can chat on the video 😊
Stacey Stacey sweetheart beautiful alright!
Ah alright I was too late. Well peace out
I love you u lots indian world 🤟 many people are you😊❤
I do like your vlog very good since to now I am sure people like your vlog good job so do not think fail u. No no always positive ok
It's just my mind, haha, I really did this to myself, but I know I can do this. 💪🏼 Thank you 🙏🏼 😄
Alright Stacey Stacey l understand that you valve vlog so good but l want real my chat on vlog not shy. Hero Stacey ! Have fun new years 2023
Transcripción: [Una mujer mexicana-estadounidense de piel clara está de pie frente a la cámara. ella lleva aretes coloridos florales y una camiseta sin mangas negra. Ella está de pie en una habitación. Detrás de ella, está la bandera de México colgando en la puerta. A su derecha, un televisor negro, plantas y fotos impresas de los perros están en los estantes. El logotipo de Facebook, Instagram y CZcams aparecen en la esquina superior derecha del video, seguido de "@deafinitelywanderlust" en un texto blanco.]
Estoy muy nerviosa por compartir (públicamente) mis sentimientos. (respira profundo) ¡Hey! Entonces, muchos me han enviado mensajes preguntándome qué está pasando conmigo este año 2020 y el año pasado. Notaron que he estado publicando cada vez menos videos aquí. Así que, en este video, compartiré lo que sucede y, básicamente, responderé sus preguntas. Está bien. Este año 2020 ha sido...loco. Como ya saben, todo cambió. La pandemia del Coronavirus-19 cambió el mundo. Todos nuestros planes, tuyos, míos. Mi plan para este año era viajar también. Todos mis planes fueron cancelados. Pero estoy bien con eso, porque realmente necesitaba concentrarme en mi salud mental. En cuanto a mi salud mental, tal vez algunos de ustedes ya saben que tengo depresión y ansiedad. Tal vez no se sientan cómodos con este tema sobre la salud mental. Pero saben qué , esta es la realidad de la vida. Muchos de ustedes, personas sordas, incluidas las personas oyentes, tienen problemas de salud mental (problemas/enfermedades). Hablar de la salud mental no debe ser estigmatizado. La salud mental también es importante. Y quiero poder compartirlo con ustedes y ser honesta conmigo misma, eso es parte de mi vida. Este año y el año pasado, estuve experimentando depresión, que también incluye falta de concentración, lo cual ha sido muy duro. Cansancio extremo (fatiga). Estaba constantemente cansada y somnolienta Incluso cuando dormía durante 8 horas, seguía experimentando un cansancio extremo. Era simplemente imposible para mí editar videos mientras estaba extremadamente cansada e incapaz de concentrarme. Entonces, lo pensé y creo que lo mejor para mí era disminuir mi tiempo (en esta plataforma), así que no estaría fingiendo o engañándome a mí misma y a ustedes con una sonrisa y seguir publicando videos. Quiero ser honesta si me filmara a mí misma quería ser más honesta sobre cómo soy. Quiero poder disfrutar de la edición de videos mostrárselos a todos respetando a las diferentes personas sordas que conozco en todo el mundo al compartir sus historias con ustedes. Si tuviera que editarlos con falta de enfoque y motivación, entonces es probable que los videos sean malos (falta de esfuerzo). Y no quiero editar mientras trato de lidiar con eso. Eso significa que establezco límites para mí misma y el uso de esta plataforma de vez en cuando. ¡También he estado ocupada con otros trabajos que tengo y me he centrado en ahorrar dinero para mi futuro viaje! Voy a ver cómo va eso! Otra cosa para mencionar son sus elogios para mí, su apoyo, estoy muy agradecida e incluso sorprendida por eso. Pero, ¿por qué me sorprende? Ustedes creen en mí. Les gustan los videos que he estado publicando. umm... Pero cuando se trata de mí misma, cada vez que me filmo, he sido muy, muy crítica conmigo misma. ¿Creo en mí misma? No, no creía. Simplemente sentía que no era una buena persona, me siento como una persona falsa. No pensé que fuera una buena editora de videos. Creo que no era buena en eso. Pensé que era una mala cineasta. Quería la perfección. Quería videos perfectamente editados. Quería hacer videos perfectos. Quería que las historias estuvieran perfectamente retratadas. Quería poder realizar las señas perfectamente. Quiero la perfección en cada cosa. La lista sigue y sigue. Maldita sea. Estas perfecciones que quería significan que he estado teniendo ALTAS expectativas de mí misma. Las expectativas de mí misma eran tan altas que apuntaba a ello mientras me criticaba a mí misma. Pensando que no lo estaba haciendo lo suficientemente bien. He estado trabajando demasiado (mentalmente) para alcanzar esa expectativa. Sentía que había estado corriendo sin cesar (en círculos) una, otra y otra vez. Me encontraba dudando en publicar un video editado, pensando que el video no era lo suficientemente bueno y que no era una buena idea publicarlo, así que lo guardaba. Sucedió nuevamente cuando editaba otro video. Lo guardaba. Fue mucha presión, estrés. Estaba pensando demasiado en todo. Sabía que mis ALTAS expectativas eran poco realistas e imposibles de cumplir. Maldita sea, realmente destruí mi propia confianza. Mi confianza se hizo más y más baja. Las expectativas que tengo para mí son el problema. Desde que puedo recordar, he tenido miedo al F R A C A SO. Tenía miedo de mostrar mis errores. Tenía miedo si insultaba a alguien sin querer. Tenía miedo si no cumplía con sus expectativas. Tenía miedo si no me esforzaba lo suficiente y me fallaba a mí misma y a todos. Tenía miedo de fallar. Era un verdadero PROBLEMA. Quiero decir, ¿por qué?!? (hablando conmigo misma) Crecí queriendo ser... lo suficientemente buena. Sí. Al crecer, sentí que nunca era lo suficientemente buena. Por lo tanto, siempre me he esforzado por cumplir con las expectativas. Entonces, es por eso que realmente necesitaba establecer límites. Pero, vaya, este año (2020), me ha ayudado a concentrarme más en mí misma. Y progresar lentamente. Poco a poco comencé a sentirme mejor. Mejor - no perfecta- . Ahora, he aceptado que cometeré algunos errores y sé que está bien. Normalmente, sucederá porque soy humana. Lo que importa es que aprenderé de ellos, aceptar eso y si sucede, disculparme públicamente. Puedo o no publicar un video semanal, pero publicaré algunos videos que me queden mejor, por mi salud mental. A pesar de los desafíos que tengo, me encanta compartir videos sobre idiomas, culturas, viajes, personas de todo el mundo, animales y mucho más. Quiero decir... el mundo es INCREÍBLE. Y solo tengo UNA vida. ¿Fallaste? Está bien. Gracias por escuchar ¡Estén atentos para futuros videos! ¡Paz!
[Aparece un marco de color malva oscuro, violeta y blanco con Stacey, que permanece de pie en el centro. En el marco morado malva (arriba), aparece un texto en blanco en el centro superior: "www.deafinitelywanderlust.com". El logotipo de Deafinitely Wanderlust aparece en la parte superior derecha debajo del marco, que muestra diferentes colores de pintura salpicados alrededor de dos manos con las palmas abiertas que se levantan. Las manos son de un color azul y verde que representas el globo terráqueo que incluyen diferentes continentes. En la parte inferior central del marco blanco, aparece el logotipo de Facebook, Instagram y CZcams con "@deafinitelywanderlust".]
Hi Good Morning
Hi! 👋🏼 🙂
Bangladesh.. 🥰🥰🇧🇩
Hi my name I’m deaf nice meet you sometime see you my name Chris ❤
Kim
I feel fear f a i l u r es, understandable and very stress from coronavirus mess. Mental health needs take care first, thts true. Soon I'm home fully. I love your video abt different cultures amazed me. Learn something new 👍👍🙏🤟
I'm happy you learn about different cultures and learn something new 🙏 I hope you are taking care of yourself too! Thank you 🙏
@@DeafinitelyWanderlust you re welcome I'm forwarding to watch your video soon EAGER!!😂 Rest well.. 🛌 lol 🙏🤟
Welcome I see nice meet to pretty girl from USA.
When I saw this video, I felt like I was watching my own story. The same thing happened to you. That's why I stopped making videos for the same reason.
I'm trying to get out of this situation and start over and continue doing what I like but because of people it demotivates you many times.
I would like to meet you and talk to you because we have things in common. Hopefully we could meet and share experiences so we motivate each other.
My social networks are @beckysoundytv
Mobile?
No mobile. It's private.
Halo aku deaf iya si IG ada? Oh
Aku ig winner_jw.org_ iya
yes (Iya), IG: @deafinitelywanderlust