Feeling Guilty While Gaming
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- čas přidán 26. 07. 2024
- Growing up I could play games for hours on end, with some of the longest sessions being upwards of almost 24 hours. I could sit and play black ops 2 with my friends all night, play Pokemon for 18 hours straight and play games like Skyrim for hours on end without feeling anything but pure joy and happiness. However, most of that was when I was a lot younger, once I got my first job everything started to change. Not only could I now afford to go do things I couldn’t do previously but adulthood was slowly encroaching into my life and with that, the feelings of guilt came with it. I would have that voice in the back of my head no matter the game, no matter the experience I was having, if that was by myself in a game I once was finding nothing but joy from or an online session with some of the best people I know it was always there. Saying I could be doing something better than this, something more productive, Something more worthwhile, and with those thoughts came the idea of gaming just not being for me anymore or needing to grow up. So today let’s have a chat, grab a cup of tea, and let’s discuss that feeling as I know many of you have the same feelings of feeling guilty while we game.
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Time Stamps
00:00-01:08 - Intro
01:09-02:48 - Gaming as a kid
06:49-04:10 - When this feeling first started
04:11-05:59 - Becoming an Adult
06:00-10:41 - Self-Improvement vs Gaming
10:42-12:10 - Create More Than You Consume
12:11-14:16 - Why this channel Exists
14:17-16:36 - The flaw in this feeling
16:37-18:25 -That feeling might be telling you something
18:26-19:32 -You Might Need to Quit
19:33-22:06 - End thougths
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Fun stuff - Exiled, Is gaming dying?, Gaming is dead, why is gaming boring, open world games, RPG games, open worlds suck, multiplayer games are boring, Minecraft, rdr2, red dead 2, modern gaming, indie games, triple A gaming, triple A sucks - Hry
if your life is in order, and that voice comes up, you need to tell it to silence itself. HOWEVER if you are not maintaining your responsibilities, then listen to the voice. Sources, 35, Electrical Engineer, Married. I game 30-50 hours a week.
I would disagree with you as It's a bit to simple to think that "just tell it to silence itself" was if it was as simple as that then people would do that and it wouldn't be an issue.
It’s honestly fucking hell, man. I’m 21, unemployed, caring for my mum, with barely any other hobbies than gaming and reading. I just want to feel like I’m making progress in my life again whilst also balancing gaming into my life. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the days of being a guilt-free child while playing games, but I also realise that I’ve got to get living.
It really is that simple I’m 25 I work full time and train as an amateur fighter I still get a solid 20-40 hours of gaming in…hell my problem is gaming is starting to feel like work.
Soo... that last name was an F-in' lie. I'd consider the last line as personal info. 😂
Anyway solid principle but tricky to maintain IRL.
The rough part comes in when your life is not in order, yet you need rest too. Can't just decompress and game a bit, because of that nagging voice. When you are too stressed/tired or whathaveya to do something productive. So a bit of gaming is what you need. But without the ability to be completely present, it turns into shame and another source of stress.
@@Exiled7 I unironically approached the situation with Engineering in mind. It helped me "change" my perspective of the nagging inner voice by applying a quick check-sum value of the voice its self. The easiest way and most clean cut method if found is to look at it as a boolean value/true or false. i.e inner annoying guilt voice comes up, validate its authenticity, if authentic, listen, if not, ignore. GRANTED this ONLY will work if you are HONEST with yourself..If you have the ability to do the "this is fine" meme IRL, then this method will not work. After a while you will notice that if you are honest with yourself, and if the voice is telling the truth, then the likely hood of false positives lessens, and when they do arise they are quickly dismissed. Also, I think its important to understand that if youre in your 20s, its OKAY to be lost. Most "grown ups" are just large children faking it till they make it, and theres no better time to do that than in your 20's.
Pro tip: If you feel guilty about playing video games, just make sure you also go out and do the usual daily chores and take care of your responsabilités before sitting down to play video games. After beeing productive, you won't feel gulity and will have even more fun playing games. Always worked for me.
Some real wisdom here. It’s the only way I can enjoy games now in adulthood.
But what if you still have the voice? When I did all my stuff for the day, the voice is still there, because "hey, you could do stuff from your to do list that you wanted to do tomorrow"
It never stops.
I am disabled and still feel guilty after the little I do
@@onichateim5572 That problem is not with playing video games in your case then... You can ALWAYS do other other things in life, but that ultimately means, you simply cannot let go of your responsibilities, your work, therefore you cannot relax. My father has this problem, its called workaholism. I would consult with a proper mental doctor about this.
@@DZoe01 thanks for the advice, however I think the mental doctors around here already have their hands full with more important stuff like depression 😅
I sometimes feel this in the school year but in summer I really don't feel as guilty. However, as I'm still in my teens I imagine it'll get worse as I go to college, get a job, etc.
Ever since hitting 14 years old I feel this almost every day even to this day. Especially when your parents or guardians remind you something like "There's so much more beauty in the world than just spending your whole day gaming" which it is true, I get it yet I still do the same thing everyday. Playing games playing with guilt in my heart, over thinking everything especially before going to sleep... Really glad I listened to this video, it'll hopefully motivate me enough to at least give other hobbies a try, or try to do something productive. Thanks for this vid!
you're welcome! definetly worth doing some journaling or talking to someone on those things so you can have that balance.
Part of me misses being able to play for hours every day. But i got so bored with video games and i would just sit around bored, scrolling. Now with my job, new parenthood, being a husband and home owner, my life is so busy that i truly cherish and enjoy when i get an hour or 2 a day to play when everything is taken care of.
I know it takes alot of effort and time to put something like this together from start to finish (as you descibed for your RDR2 video). So I just want to show my appreciation of a great and thoughtful video.
honeslty bro, you just made my day seeing this! I know it might sound "materialistic" but due to current cercomstances stuff like this can allow me to do something as simple as get a hair cut so honeslty, thank you so much!
I've had this exact feeling since I started working at 21. I never felt guilty spending hours with friends only just messing around or playing dumb games, but taking the time to play single player games always felt like a waste of time, and I was never patient enough to go through them properly. I think that was mostly due to this feeling of being expected to work harder, achieve stuff IRL.
A few years later, I'm not the most well payed in my friends group, nor am I the most fit, so I didn't "excel" at anything, but I did grind hard at work, I had to go through some rough personal stuff, and I think I've "made it" from my POV. I'm at a point where I don't think I have much to prove to myself like I did when I was 20, because I know that when push comes to shove, I can do it.
I'm at a place where picking up a new hobby, grinding Tekken, or trying hard for a promotion IRL are all things that are possible, and because I know I can do that, I learned to relax and truly enjoy things like gaming and reading, while not feeling guilty about them.
Wow I wish I could play games for more than 2 hours without starting to feel bored or uninterested.
I think most people feel that way.
The average adult male or child just plays more because gaming companies made a lot of money and put it into marketing.
I enjoy solitaire more than just about any modern video game and a game will take me about 5 min. and I play it in the morning to see how tired I am.
The idea of playing more than a few hours a week is because people spent way too much time on CZcams watching people play video games because they were secretly sponsored or to get views from children who couldn't afford the game yet and didn't have parents around to give them more constructive things to do with their time.
One thing that I've found really helps me enjoy my free time without the guilt is having a sort of task and reward system. Days you're really full of energy and motivation? Do 3-5 chores/responsibilities first and _then_ you can game/relax for the rest of your day. Days you're really crunched for time or feeling like booty and struggle to get out of bed and live? Do one small thing like put dishes away or fold your laundry first or 20 push ups, then it's free time. Make every day a non-zero day; but also understand and forgive yourself on days where you're struggling. Don't neglect what you need to do to be healthy and successful; but don't restrict yourself on doing things you enjoy too much.
:)
I must be a terrible adult because I basically just work and try to maximize my gaming time outside of that.
Depends on the age. Almost 32 and I really just stopped doing that around a year ago. Play games now for maybe around 3 hours every week or so, only one night a week.
Used to play for around 6-8 hours a day, and on the weekends around 12 or more.
@@SantoryuKauboi Haha I’m 31, soon to be 32. Basically work, gym, and gaming are how I spend my time.
@@SantoryuKauboi "depends on age"...no. it doesnt. there is no set age to either game a little or game alot. if you are taking care of your responsibilities and want to game for the remainder, then you can. What do you meanm depends on age? im 35, an Electrical Engineer, married and game 30 hours a week minimum.
@@Personalinfo404 Yea you are right.
My oldest brother is also 35 and has the same career as you do, in Utah.
I just started to feel some guilt. Its really hard for me to balance working my 40 + (only plus if I have to make up hours, being a contractor in cyber), lift 5 days a week, cook all of my food for myself and all that.
By the time Im done with those things my fiancee is home.
So I try to spend time with her.
I also think I'm in a gamer slump, so I am pretty biased right now.
The only issue is that the slump has lasted a year.
62 still gaming ..no guilt😁
62 year old gamer here, too. I do have some occasional guilt, though. :) Sometimes it's healthy guilt (I really am wasting my time), and sometimes not.
49 here, don't give a shit...
Just enjoy it...
As a pop pop and an MMA fighter not professional at all but I cherish my gaming I work all day and train afterwards then I get to take care of my babies and when they go to bed it's game time so cherish your free time it's not a waste of time think of it as a helpful activity to be your best self amazing video
As someone who didn’t grow up with games and is only now starting to play video games, it’s interesting because games make me more in touch with my younger self. Basically making up for the time I lost as a kid who couldn’t afford to play and lived an entire life missing out and not relating to kids who did nothing BUT game
I can get what you're saying, for me i'm in that reverse camp were I'm wanting to do more things that others class as a "normal" upbringing and activities you would do with your family as I didn't expirence them growing up.
Hey man, I’ve been watching your videos for a few months now and I just wanted to say that I love your content. I think you make exceptionally well crafted videos that are a pleasure to watch!
Thank you good sir! Glad you're enjoying the content, I'll keep a look out for more of your comments!
I appreciate how genuine you were bringing up these topics.
Personally, I've come to play fewer games, specifically premium AAA, seemingly endless news of how badly treated everyday employees are, and often I'm more inclined to lend my support to indie games and some Kickstarters.
And when I do sit down to play games I'm not playing them as long of hours as I used to, as I have many other interests to occupy my time, namely, Writing; over the years I've become a bit dissatisfied playing and watching games, movies and shows around that begun knitting together my own stories my own characters and worlds. Which is why I loved to hear about the section of 'Creating more than consumed,' although, I've yet to put that bit into the best practice.
Thanks again for your video, have a good one!
I'll expect to see you put in my discord something you deside to create so that I can hold you to wanting to put it into practice.
Summer 2021. I had my first and currently only child, my wife was off all Summer because she's a teacher, and I worked early mornings and had all afternoon/evening to do whatever. I played through Borderlands 2 with my wife, my brother, and a friend. It was glorious and my favorite Summer ever. People used to tell me how I'll never have time to play games once I had a child. My son loves watching dad play Minecraft or Mario or whatever. He even plays a little with my help. I'm looking forward to him actually being able to play games on his own
My main point here is it's all about moderation, time management, and deciding what you want to make time for. If you want to do something you can't wait for time to open up, you have to make the time. I make time for videogames because I love to play them even as a 30 year old with a full time job and a family. Usually I can play a couple of hours a day in addition to getting stuff done like dishes, laundry, cooking, etc.
Trust me. When I’m hunted by the law or a bunch of Pinkertons .. Guilt is the LAST thing I feel when I game. The only thing going through my mind is “Jesus How am I going to get out of this mess I just got myself into” bro trust me games can feel all too real sometimes.. especially Red - I was hunting down Escobar Cortez and the way his mexican buddies jumped me from the rock cliff above me was all too real. My heart was pumping faster than a rabbit and my instincts were being stretched to max potential. I recorded the whole situation. After surviving many intense situations like this throughout gaming I find myself praising and thanking God because he got me through it plain and simple. Trust me games are real. You shouldn’t feel guilty for making achievements because that’s what they’re all about. God bless
I try to find a pattern where I can destress with games and then use that new destressed state to do something productive. Trying to be productive all the time will just stack up stress debuffs on you till you can't function properly anymore.
very much a great way to go about it. I've found this sort of thing works for me too, either doing something that was on my mind and recognising when I'm getting to the end of the enjoyment so I can come off and now get on with that deeper work I was planning on getting done.
I have definitely felt this way while gaming. Not all the time but it does happen. This video was a great watch
As someone who works in retail, I shouldn't feel guilty if I play games. I mean, retail doesn't leave you with homework to do after work. When you're done with work, that's it for the day. Sit down and enjoy the games.
But I do feel guilty. Because besides this day job, i have a side job doing creative work. When I play games, I feel like I'm just postponing my client's requests. It doesn't matter that I would work on the creative job during break times, but when I play games after work, when I could've just used the hours of free time, I feel that I deserve to feel guilty.
What you said about games like D2 is completly true, i was completly adicted to it since forsaken until lightfall when i finally quit for good. I noticed i was just making gaming another work, i NEEDED to play the game or i would have a shit ton of FOMO. When i noticed i was doing that to every game i played with a battle pass , i just stopped buying them and there it was, the feeling of WTF am i dooing with my time, I ain´t achieving nothing and Im going to be honest, l started feeling like this and i did as you said, I took a break. After a month of not gaming, quiting nic and going to the gym daily instead of 3 time a week one random magical day, I booted up my PC, lauched Halo MCC and resumed my Halo 2 uncut playtrought where i had left it and magicaly, i was having fun. What i have noticed is that i can only mantaign a Hobby whitout taking "long" breaks if I feel there is something to work towards for EX, what keeps me gooing to work everyday is knowhing that at the end of the month i will be able to buy mods for my car. With hobbies like gaming i know understant that overtime i start to see them as work instead of something that makes me feel happy after a session so now i understood that when that feeling comes with any hobbie that i have, I just take a break and if after the break i still don´t have fun dooing it, then i just drop the hobby.
Recently turned 29 and as of late I've been going through ''Burnout'' phase for a good few weeks. While I love the medium it does eat up a lot of your time and mental capacity like if you want to get 50 platinums or grind out the next battle pass. Doing things in moderation is the best thing to do for your health in the long run. Nonetheless Excellent video!
Yup feel this in my soul straight up
I'm 56, disabled veteran with PTSD and physical ailments. I used to feel guilty gaming, but a gaming friend pointed out that it's a multi billion dollar industry with competitions, and it's just as a legit hobby as any. It's your time, your life, do what you want with it.
I do get things done in games, but not in life due to pain, feeling crappy, anxiety. I used to have 8 games on my phone. It was then that I realized that book, those songs, aren't getting done, so Skyrim is OK to escape to.
I played ESO 4 years before playing anything else. Guilt about spending money in games.
Now, I play what I want when I want. I often help others. Helping my 8 year old nephew walk through Elden Ring. I used Jumpin Prod walk through, and Fighting Cowboy.
I help friends in GTA, ESO, Red Dead.
I'm also totally onboard with using games to disassociate and distract from what can be an awful and stressful world. Who gives AF. I have volunteered enough, worked enough, created enough. I have other gaming friends who are disabled and gaming makes life more bearable. I'm just bummed VR is too dizzying. Let's be honest: running over screaming people at Vespucci Beach with a pink tank is REALLY satisfying. Lolol
Thanks for sharing that. I do believe I have some understanding of your situation and I'm glad you've found your own way to enjoy life, despite what it's thrown at you.
I think there's no shame in playing video games, if you really love it and you are passionate about it is no lesser experience than anything else. As a person who is in adulthood I play video games for countless hours and I feel no guilt because that's what I know I enjoy more than anything. If you are not really sure whether video games are in fact your passion or you feel that this is not what you are supposed to be doing in life then you shouldn't do it, or do it as a hobby.
I would say that shame and guilt are different. If someone is shameful in playing games then honestly I would say they need a deep conversation with themselves, good friends and maybe a therapist so they can actually get to the root cause of why they feel ashamed of themselves for playing games. Whereas you can feel guilt for many reasons that isn’t connected to if you enjoy or don't enjoy a hobby. You could be a massive football fan and love watching your team play everytime they are on but you chose to opt to do that instead of spending time doing something with your family that day and now you feel somewhat guilty for choosing this over that. It's like a comment I replied to a moment ago, it's about understanding your priorities in life and knowing where gaming sits for you.
@@Exiled7 Yeah I guess I shouldn't say shame but I know what you mean with guilt. I just describing my personal experience, I don't have a family but I have a dog. Even though I play a lot of games I always take some time out of it to take care of him and give him the attention he needs. I am unemployed so I really have a lot of time to spare so surely it differs for each person individually. Like you said it really is about priorities so you really must know how much to give for video games if it really is something that fulfils you.
Thanks for putting this into words, very pleasing video to watch.
My pleasure!
I stopped gaming some time ago and started going to the gym and read more books. I read about 22 books this year so far and I started playing games again. This year I finished ghost of Tsushima and even tho I liked the game I felt like it's wasting my time with all the collectibles etc. I also finished cyberpunk too , I really got lost in the world and gameplay. I completely stopped playing hearthstone because even when I won I was pissed off , that game is toxic af. Overall I feel like cutting out games is not a solution, it's the healthy relationship with games that counts, I will never stop a game that will go on for ever just like how I will never stop reading an infinite book that has blank pages.
I found the video to be very relevant and informative and amazing. You did such a good job explaining all the different avenues somebody could be taking Instead of just gaming And at least gives some great ideas of where you could be redirecting your energy. I don't think I've watched your channel before but I'm gonna watch it from now on thank you very much Great job
This video felt like a mirror put in front of me. What a great piece of work! MODERATION IS KEY! That is something everyone needs to learn, remember and repeat.
Happy to see people are resonating with it!
I had the same thing while grinding item's in Guild Wars 2 for days even months or League of Legends rank and voice in the back of my head saying "What the f*** are you doing wasting your life for no happy smile in the end!". When I managed to get master tier in League after 8 years of playing i was more sad in the end that happy. And i stoped completely playing games for a year. Then i wanted to play games again but i first ask myself question "What games is worth playing? What do i like most about games?" Then i realized that i love open world & fantasy games then i tried The Witcher 3 & Red Dead Redemption 2 and i had blast playing i even "almost" cried in the end of Red Dead Redemption. Now i'm playing Baldur's Gate 3 and i really enjoying this game. Even voice in the back of my head has stoped. I even stopped playing multiplayer games. I think there is beauty in games like there is books or movies. While i was playing Total War Warhammer III i even read some lore about Warhammer universe and while i was reading lore i fell in love with it I can say in the end really now enjoy playing games maybe more than before. And Thanks for great video.
As someone a lot older than you and with more "adulting" experience, I'd say screw productivity and similar BS. Leave those at work where they belong. If you have a job you already did 8h or more of being productive that day.
Free time becomes more and more rare as you grow up and you shouldn't be wasting it chasing what other people expect crom you.
Truly adult thing is to not care about what others want. It's about finding what you want and doing that to your fullest. Be it gaming, playing music, writing a book, scuba diving or playing sports with friends. Find what makes you happy and try to maximize doing that, there is more than enough external sources that will make you unhappy in life.
I work 50-60 hours a week and really only game one day a week so fuck all that, it's called life balance.
depending on the other areas of what life is, then yes I would agree however I don't know if I would class a 50-60 hour work week as a balanced life.
@@Exiled7 it is in the midwest lol. Some people around here work 12 hours every day. I don't entirely disagree with you though. Perhaps thats why I dont feel guilty when I sit down and play a damn video game.
My bf and I both play games and sometimes we play together, it’s a win win
Amazing video man. I’m starting to work on a CZcams channel of my own because of these exact feelings but advice for somebody who might not want to make a CZcams video maybe just think about writing a review posted on Steam or something like backlogged or Reddit. It’s a good way to make you feel like you created something and consumed it “” the right way ““.
Gaming is life
i mean i definitely get this feeling, and i dropped games for a while because of it, but as long as you take care of your daily duties and people you’re close with i see no problem with gaming. just stay productive!
Also, i think the self improvement community is great as everyone should strive to make themselves the best they can be, but it almost starts to become toxic at a point, you begin questioning everything and not just living in the present every now and than.
My main issue is the things that I've found pride and joy in with gaming in the moment or even short term have proven to be pretty worthless. They haven't provided value in my life so it's hard to find motivation to keep playing, things like being proficient in multi-player games or experiencing a good story seem to be a waste of time now. I'm not sure how to break this mindset but I've come to value my time so much that trivial things such as having frequently gone 26-0 in x game (something that brought me joy before) now makes me say "so what?" Or "What has it really done for me?"
I get that, it happens to me. I found it best to just give gaming a break and pick up different hobbies and focus on my fitness when i get into that mood. After about a month or a couple months, i will pick up a single player game that I've been wanting to explore and it tends to make me enjoy gaming and realize why i like it again.
@@graves1096 I think I'm definitely going to have to give the detox a try.
Lmao, I just closed the browser tab for my tele-therapy session where I was talking about guilt and shame about not skateboarding and snowboarding as much as I used to (and have been playing too much Elden Ring DLC), and this was one of the first videos on my home page. My computer is listening to me lol
Fantastic content and great video, subscribed and appreciative
Gaming is a hobby. Nothing to feel ashamed of. Usually, the person judging you is that coworker that binge watches some reality tv shows drinking box wine while hanging with their cats. At least your game hobby applies some level of skill or problem solving.
I find this is literally due to how the older generations demonised gaming as a waste of time for most of our lives. Gaming is a hobby something you do to decompress and unwind.. no one feels guilty for listening to music for hours, or reading for hours or spending hours watching TV or watching a movie. But it's a waste of time to play a game for hours..
Whats the difference.. older generations who set this way of thinking didn't play games. Don't let outside noises ruin your enjoyment of life.
Good video, this concept resonated with me
I call it "The video game tax". I'm a big gamer but I also don't want to be lazy. So essentially I get off work, do about an hour of cleaning, get my workout in, and than I don't have to feel like human garbage for gaming the rest of the day. Just take care of what needs to be done and take care of yourself and people in your life won't judge you for your hobby. As an adult, you have to pay the video game task if you want to co-exist with other people.
My mind went kind of a different way, I started valuing my time more but that didn't result in a guilt but I just stopped playing most of the BS out there. I found myself grinding certain games because "I had dailies to do, I had battle pass to finish" etc and growing up made me realize - wait, that is stupid. I shouldn't play a game that dictates when I play it. And I never felt more free. Whenever a game advertises itself with all these job-like features it started pushing me away, instead of pulling me in. I can't recall the last AAA title I played, same with MMORPGs (except for GW2, that game has some MMORPG bs but has more respect for your time than other games in that genre so I still play it from time to time). It's basically all indie games now for me and sometimes old AAA games that I heavily mod, because they can be fun and cheap if you wait for a couple of years for them to properly polish the game and actually make it a reasonable price.
Yeah, something ive always wondered. Why is it when playing games for 10 minutes and not a weekend of binging One Piece or doom scrolling?!
Just never sleep and you’ll have all the time you ever need to game and be productive!
After working a full time job and taking care of my house chores/ lawn chores… I crack out on some jrpgs. Sometimes I know I could clean or dust but ehhh
I think it's a good topic to bring up and discuss, so thank you for that. I also felt guilt for how I spent my time gaming, but never because gaming was an all-consuming hobby. To me, it was that I had more responsibilities and thus became more critical of how I spent my free time. Growing up, gaming was, as you mentioned, considered for children. For me this meant rethinking what gaming means as an adult hobby: not a waste of time, but a normal hobby. This meant engaging with it differently and it took me a few years to fully figure it out for myself. The past decade I've played so many games new and old that are widely considered masterpieces, defining for gaming history or that just of particular interest to me, just like a cinephile might search for older films that are considered defining for a genre or style. Sometimes that includes games I might've skipped otherwise just to experience and understand why they made such an impact. Sure, some nights you want to put on a simple superhero film or play your favourite multiplayer game, but that doesn't stop you from engaging with your hobby on a more in-depth level at other times. Thinking of and engaging with games in this manner has evolved my perspective as I've grown older and truly helps me enjoy the hobby more.
Be careful, my son got a job a stressful job programing, he stopped gaming and just worked and he had a breakdown...
Only after treatment, he still has a job but he has started gaming again to relax...
Balance...
I'm not sure if I'm genuine but I only game 2 months in a year with the rest being studying, being with family and friends.
Yet even when I'm resting or I've done other tasks I'd game and still feel guilty and I only play narrative experiences honestly but that guilt is there.
Yeah, I'll have this, it might be the case of having a lot of conversations with yourself to see if that comes from something else, Is it the case that you feel unfulfilled in another area of life or trying to see if it's the case that you feel as if you're needing to do the productive thing all the time which could be something you might need to look into and work on.
I've definitely felt similar things, and when deciding what game to play next, I'll usually check hltb to find games that won't be a big time commitment😂
In my case I often feel a desire to play everything that's considered "classic" and value unique experiences so rarely replay games or play multiplayer games where you're just doing the same thing over and over. (similar thing with other media as well, I rarely re-read books or re-watch movies because it's like I have an anxious need to "experience everything" and re-experiencing stuff would take away the ability to do that.)
9 years ago I started learning Japanese, and it quickly overpowered all my other hobbies. It was like a drug whenever I recognized a new word/grammar in an anime or game. And it might sound silly, but there was a period of time where I actually "disowned" gaming (in English at least) and felt bad for people who played lots of games in English, as if I had discovered some sort of "way out" and they were "stuck" in their ways. (the idea being that Japanese was a sort of self-improvement for me whereas everyone else was just stuck enjoying their mindless slop). That was a while back though and these days, while i still do avoid the mindless multiplayer stuff I do sometimes play stuff in English or play multiplayer stuff with friends. Lately I've been taking online classes so constantly have more important stuff I could be doing than gaming but do let myself "cheat" every now and then [just played a puzzle-platformer called Venineth that was really great :) ]
I think that last point it's something I've dealt with before and I believe many do who once played a lot of games and now either don't or are watching a load of self-improvement videos which is elitism. It's more that we feel as if we are doing the right thing and therefore anyone not doing the same thing as us is beneath us as they are closer to the old self that we identified with even though we know nothing about them and what they enjoy.
I’ll start to do something else and I’ll still feel like I could be wasting my time. I could build a city and I will always wonder if I should have done something else with my time. So, I listen to the voice that tells me life is meaningless and then I feel a little bit better wasting my time.
Seems like this is the perfect video for me, as I can relate to it right now
I have long wanted to become a youtuber, I had uploaded videos here and there when I didn't had any expectations, as soon as I start setting up expectations and wanted to become perfectionist, everything has been difficult, I have been trying to write a script for my next RDR2 video but honestly I am getting so confused that I keep changing some parts of script over and over again
the best advice I could give you is that the first 100 videos that almost anyone will ever make aren't good, they also probably won't be seen at all. You might want to make the video good so that you can think the video is good but you'll probably only remember parts of the process of making the video and not the end product. Best thing to do is to give yourself an actual deadline, make it so that you have the next month to make the video no matter what, do your script over 2-3 sittings over 3 days so that you don't have enough time to change your mind properly, that's normally what works for me.
@@Exiled7 Thanks for replying
I will try : 🙏🏻
I think my problem with games is that I want to play the game with the best or my favorite gear from start to finish so essentially a new game+, but the problem arises with the fact that only one title among my most vast list of beloved games has that feature, so in turn I run around doing all and everything before the story to get that gear or funds to buy it when it come available and before I get there I become exhausted and drop the game and if I don't, the story goes by too quickly, Assassin's Creed Syndicate for example, one of the few games where you can complete most of the side things after you get released into the open world, I liberated all of London, did all the side quests, collected all the collectible items and opened every single chest, sure I got the cool gear and max level in a very short amount of time but when I finally had done everything and got back to the story, it flew by and was too easy and when I finished I didn't have the motivation to do the few things locked by the story and then I dropped the game for almost a year, started the process again and didn't even last till halfway of running around London
good video mate!keep going!
You know for a dude I'm gonna guess is somewhere in your mid-ish 20s You're not wrong I went through a time where I gamed almost not at all and I'm an OG of gaming like Nintendo hard days OG but in the end it ultimately reignited my passion for gaming
Awesome video
Why do you need to grow your channel to talk about the games you love? Ive ticked the bell, and im interested!
I know. Whenever I have a day off I always feel guilty I am not out doing something or chores etc. We deserve down time.
Haven't finish the video but I'm feeling it at the most intense and keeps getting worse. That's why I stopped playing competitive games so I don't feel like I'm always stuck in an endless loop ( I can't even imagine how people only play games like LoL or Counter strike for more than 10 years), That's why I alwsys try to find new experiences and move on after finishing a single player game.
Do what makes you happy 👾
Depends. Define happy please.
To me it's more about contentment and a sense of meaning. Prioritizing short term happiness can often sabotage long term happiness IMO. So I prefer to use different words.
Focus on seratonin instead of dopamine if I really want to be nerdy about it.
@@janosd4nuke14.6 seconds. That is how long we would last if the universe's age was that of the average human lifespan: 80 years. Alternatively, our lifespan is 0.00000058% the age of the universe.
It's another way of saying that we're drops in the ocean. You seek meaning and want to make something of your life, but life is inherently meaningless. You can dismiss that as pessimism if you wish. However, I see it as realism and on the contrary believe that letting go of the human desire for importance is a key to fulfilment in life. Let go of that need, let go of the guilt when you allow yourself some enjoyment and then you're living your life on your own terms, however you choose to do that.
I get it every day. Just make sure your responsibilities are met before you start your session and you are golden .. you will sill have the odd issue tho like taking the dog out or one of the kids needs to be met.
Honestly my main problem with creating something is that it takes a lot of time and effort to then get 1 like and that's it. :/ Also it's really hard to know what I want to do.
you have to trust the process, As much as I hate that saying but it's true, I didn't see any "success" on youtube for the first year on this channel let alone however many I started between the age of 9 and 19.
This is really a complicated problem because we all want to escape reality because life is hard and boring. I think we all have this sense of wanting to be free front the constraints of reality and I think gaming does that.
Even for sports we are amazed at the extraordinary abilities of athletes. I guess you van call a god complex or perfectionism. Maybe it is only a few people who want to be more than just human.
Competitive and challenging games are not toxic until addiction or other rude people are involved but overcoming something difficult is worth it if you’re not sacrificing anything important irl. Im sure the miers briggs 16 personalities plus genders and ages would all handle this differently as well
For those who struggling with that, just sit down for a while and ask yourself why you wanted to improve yourself in the first place. If your answer is to become a millionaire and get a bunch of chick, QUIT gaming. But if your answer is to enjoy your life, why drop something you already GENUINELY enjoy to go try other stuff you aren't sure if you even gonna enjoy, even if you did, is it gonna be in the same level as gaming or higher. I'm not against trying out new hobbies. I already done it myself and found some new hobbies that I really enjoy but I dropped them because the fact is that we don't have that much time to spend on hobbies as we grow older and the amount of new hobbies you can try is endless. So we need to settle with some at one point. Gaming can be a healthy hobby if you done it right and i already had so much experience, understanding and memories around it so I'm okay settling with just Gaming, cycling and writing for now and have a plan to bring some musical instruments into my life later on when i get more time to do so.
What's so funny is that those "self improvement" CZcamsrs who demonize gaming somehow help me find my passion in gaming. I never fell to their silver tongue talking trying you to sell a course because games helped me grow as a person in so many ways. But one thing they are absolutely right is that gaming addiction is the big problem. I was starting to notice the games I played without genuinely enjoying them. MOBAs and Battle Royals and most Gachas are completely design around exploiting human's psychology. I started to have a habit of continuously asking myself do I really enjoy the game I'm currently playing or it's really worth my time after consuming lots of self-improvement and self-care content. I even made a research on how to differentiate passion from addiction. They really helped me grow as a gamer by reminding me the negative side of gaming so I can avoid them and put my time into those games that gonna have a positive effect on me.
I mostly play console on the tv on the weekend and during the week I replace doom scrolling with handheld play for short bursts
My wife would guilt trip me for playing, ruined gaming for me. Now I look at memes..
I dont feel guilt with myself playing games because i ve passed the phase of addiction. Instead of watching a movie at night, i play my games daily 2 to 3 hours per day... If you keep gaming as a healthy hobby alongside your daily life it acts as a medicine. If you game as an addiction then fix your wrongs to cover the hole that is replaced by gaming
This is a really good video! I also turned to youtube as a way to turn my gaming hobby into something that felt a bit more productive. Thanks for making this, it clued me in on some stuff I wasn’t already aware of!
Im 23 now, and if I could go back to 15 y/o me, I would tell him to soul search more, discover true beauty in life, and spend a lot more time and effort with family members, especially siblings. Being on the game all day dilutes time, and if you're like I was, and gaming is almost your sole hobby, months quickly blur into years since the memories you're making aren't unique. I still play a ton, but I had to do a lot of work from 18-21 that I should have done much sooner. Even still, I sometimes feel guilt while playing, even after working a 16+ hour shift, and I think this happens because I don't have a family of my own, but increasingly want one. Again, something I should have started building towards much younger. I'm not trynna tell yall to stop gaming, I still love this shit (at times), but what I am saying, is figure out what is most important to you in your life, and numerically find where "gaming" ranks, then start living your life accordingly. Anything/Anyone ranked above "gaming", should be treated in a way that demonstrates that. Unironically, if some of yall would just go "touch grass" and make some real memories in this real world, you might be surprised what you discover if you explore enough. Ik I was :) and besides, isn't that one of the things most of us love about games so much? Exploring...some of you know who you are, you're just looking in the wrong spots. Hope this helps someone
indeed, It's all about understanding your priorities in life, if you are wanting to priorities building a family then putting your time and energy into to building for that future is worth more to do now while you still can and if that means dialling down the amount you game then I think for the risk to reward ratio it'll be miles more worth doing!
Fire video
thank you!
The black screens and silent moments between cuts are weird. Even at 2x speed, it felt disruptive and I thought I had lost internet the first few times.
yeah I do it to gaslight my viewers
I just tell myself it's my serf brain saying I must suffer and toil, and remind myself that I should try not to be so much of a peasant lol.
Honestly though we have a workhouse mentality bred into us especially in the UK and we literally judge people on how hard they work and nothing else. People will chuck their own under the bus for an outsider who they think might work harder, or be better for the holy economy
Great vid again!
Well yeah, it's a tough bakancing act, but isn't that difficulty just part of what makes the temporal victory of dancing on the razor's edge that much sweeter?
For the barber in the story, I just wanna smack him in the head with a C. S. Lewis quote:
"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
I'm sure he meant well, wanted to impart an important lesson and strengthen his own resolve as well. But putting that kind of pressure on a 8YO doesn't seem very constructive for me.
It's the recipe for the exact problem you mentioned about self-improvement gurus. You can't be productive all the time, at least the large majority of people are not built to remain sustainable just from triumph of the grindset for a long time.
And cutting out meaningful hobbies for a boost of productivity in the long run is likely to result in burnout and falling back into lower-tier escapism and dopamine binges which is way less meaningful and productive in the longrun than leaving space for proper self-care.
indeed. I think it also creates this idea that an adult is a certain type of person when most adults don't even feel like they are grown up or worthy of the ideas that bolster the mantle of "adult"
off topic but just was wondering if all the clips was from u or random online
half and half. The majority that I use will be from my own as I've got a lot I've recorded buy some are from others to diversify the gameplay you see but also as I've needed almost every single one as examples for previous videos.
When I read the title, I thought you meant feeling guilty when you play a lefty game that is preaching at you, like everybody's favourite TLoU 2 😆
I’ve been feeling it lately, it sucks.
Sorry, but it's a you problem. Time enjoyed is never time wasted. Fuck what other people think and fuck the internal need to meet society's expectations. If video games make anyone happy, they should indulge in that activity. I'd say the same about pretty much any hobby.
Yeah minus you very literally can’t just say fuck it and only do the things you enjoy or make you happy because life isn’t about doing everything to keep hitting a constant high of enjoyment. It also doesn’t allow for that to happen unless you have rich parents.
@@Exiled7I very literally didn't say that. What I did say is that you should have a clear conscience about enjoying a hobby when you're able to. We only live once. People should do what makes them happy when life allows - guiltlessly. Would you feel guilty if it was instead a more socially acceptable hobby than gaming?
@@OutlawMantisi think this video is for the people that want to do that, but can't.
I've got to many games aswell and not only that but they are long games aswell thinking a game is 30-40 hrs long sure that's over a week or something but it kinda makes it hard to just play a few hours of a game or to get into something being I am never really able to finish games just another thing I find happening now I don't know if it's age or what I am still interested in gaming and games but yeah something is happening 🤷
Aaaaa...that's why you put those empty black spots through entire video. You face your perfectionism that way. Uf, i thought that was accidental.
😂
@@Exiled7 🤣
*I feel no guilt, I bare no shame and i owe this world Nothing 😑 Life is a cest pool of never ending mediocrity, it can hold for a weekend while I bang Cheez Its and speed run No More Heroes 3* 😎
how to make a good video essay ?
chat gpt
Listening to people in their 20s try to impart wisdom on youtube is adorable.
indeed.
The thumbnail is warframe, that's not guilt is SHAME....
Joking I'm L1 on it with 2500h in
none of the 3 thumbnails are warframe...
Anyone know the game 4:09?
Starfield
truth be told you wont get any younger, and you are missing so much real world possibilities friendships connections and just living life going out , fishing , camping , barbequing helping your mum and dad while they are still alive, i don't know much but is kind of waste to spend your best years your young body and good health glued to screen. This is coming from 37 year old with 20k hours clocked on steam an many many more on ps4 garena in dota 1 league of legends. the goal is to make it work your way find a way to mortise playing games so you wont fill guilt. but you health will leave you sooner or later in life and being in bed on 60 years you can still play games, but i will prefer to have memories of the rea life and not to be drowning in guilt of lost potential. play games when you get old , but first set your priorities right. you will have more regrets as time goes on
The problem is, imo, not really putting life into perspective. Ask yourself two things: (1) did you come to this world to suffer, or to enjoy life?, and (2) do you enjoy playing games? If the answer to both these questions is "yes", then playing games IS A GREAT USE OF YOUR TIME, and you should not feel guilty about it IN THE SLIGHTEST.
Imagine yourself in the future, in your deathbed, thinking back on your life. I don't know about you, but I would certainly MUCH PREFER to remember a life full of fun and great experiences than a life full of working hours, lack of sleep, responsibilities, earning money, stressful meetings, nightmarish deadlines, etc. The money you make on this planet will remain here once you pass away, and it will most probably be tied to horrible memories of your life. The more money you have by the end of your life, the more you have wasted your life suffering. See it this way: you need to spend LIFETIME to earn money. If you spend most of your lifetime doing "productive" things, then when are you going to ENJOY LIFE? What's all that "production" gonna do to make you feel happy about your life in the future? Plus, let's say that, for example, reading a book on politics, or learning another practical skill, is more "productive" than playing a game... Now, think it through. IS IT REALLY MORE PRODUCTIVE? What you'll learn from the book about politics, or what you'll get from the new skill, will surely have NO USE whatsoever in your life besides just helping you "make more money", whereas the time you spend playing good games is ALWAYS worth it and valuable, because it's time spent enjoying your life. If you ask me, playing a good game I enjoy is WAY more productive than reading a boring book to get some random knowledge that will do nothing towards achieving my happiness.
"Productivity" is good ONLY to the degree that it is necessary. One should work and do "productive things" EXCLUSIVELY if absolutely necessary, and EXCLUSIVELY to the extent where it's just enough for what you want in life. I, for example, don't need a huge house with a pool, lots of OLED TV sets and cars, etc. So once I have achieved what I want in life, ALL OTHER WORK is simply excessive, absurd and an absolute waste of my lifetime. In my opinion, "productive" activities are ONLY worth it if they lead to you being happier in the long run, and they should ONLY be done to earn just enough money for you to be comfortable and have the means to acquire or do the things that make you happy.
I am a teleworking English teacher, and I still don't have kids. I am earning enough money to live comfortably with my wife, and to get all the games I want, and to eat healthy; and the CRUCIAL part of it all is that I am working HALF as many hours as any normal employee anywhere. So far, this is the best time I've had in my life. Each day I have work to do, but my job isn't overly stressful, and I still have LOTS of time to watch videos on CZcams and play games every day. To me, THIS is what everyone should strive for. Instead of thinking about life as "time better spent producing money", my philosophy is: (1) find a job that gives you the most amount of money for the least amount of work (and is legal, obviously xD), work JUST ENOUGH to reach the lifestyle you want for yourself and your family, AND NOT MORE (oh, and don't be excessively ambitious, because ambition simply has no end, so it's the perfect recipe for unhappiness, as, not matter what you have, you'll always crave more). I have a student who's the opposite of me. The poor guy is a lawyer who's spent most of his life studying new law-related things (he has like 3 Master's degrees, or something) to "move up the hierarchy" and earn more and more money, and has spent most of his lifetime full of stress, worrying about deadlines, problems, discussions, threats, etc,; and, while I am perfectly fine, happy every day, the guy was so miserable, he had to go to a psychiatrist. He owns three big houses (each in a different city), has a car, travels every year (often more than once), and yet he is UNHAPPY (so much so, actually, that I can clearly see the unhappiness on this face). I don't have nearly as much material stuff as he has, yet I am WAY HAPPIER.
Again: ambition is ANTONYMOUS to happiness. Stop feeling guilty for not wasting most of your life doing things you hate.
Fuck the gym, fuck slaving away for corporations. I've lost all my gaming time to taking care of my little girl.
I still relish my gaming time, but I'll never feel bad for enjoying my life.
wouldn't say the gym is a bad thing to do
@@Exiled7 that and a very weak lower disc that collapsed last year due to years of butchery work. Gym is a no go
in summary: internalized capitalism
ahahaha, sure.
yeah 100%
🇧🇪🥺
Way better than wasting time and money with women.
depends on the meaning of that sentence.
@@Exiled7 It is socially accepted to waste time and money on women. But not accepted to waste time and money on games.
well I think the difference is the intention behind the money. If you're wasting money and time on a women that you're not actually interested in having a long term relationship with and therefore not cultivating anything then sure I would agree that it's a waste but if you are doing that and cultivating a relationship like it then I wouldn't say either are a waste.
@@Exiled7 you need to waste time and money on women nonetheless. You don't know if the person you are meeting is relationship worthy.
And it doesn't depend on you to make it work. You can spend everything and she just thrown everything into the trash.
Go to bed, Petyr. You’re drunk
This comment might be seemingly out of place, but all the problems we have right now in the gaming industry, from crunches, layoffs, micro transactions, whales, etc... and even this guilty feeling of wasting time playing games, are all caused by capitalism. This system has ensured that nobody who is working will have free time while keeping others unemployed, creating the fear of jobless for the one who stay. The capitalist pigs could actually employ everyone eligible for the job with only 4-hour workdays, but that would give us too much time to think about how cruel and unethical capitalism is. That's why they have to submerge us in endless work and mindless entertainment in order to keep us demure and susceptible to their scheme. This could be changed with a little lesson from the French revolution, but the capitalist pigs have taken steps to guarantee that it would never come to pass.
I’ve replied to another comment about this, I don’t think capitalism in itself is the issue. I agree with your thoughts generally however I don’t think it itself is the issue. I’m personally anti 40 hour work weeks especially within the creative sectors however I forgot the studies but most people don’t even work properly for at least 2-3 of a 8 hour day as it’s better to look busy. So it’s not an issue with capitalism and more of an issue with the way we view being productive
People feel guilt?
Have no tolerance or patience for friends. I also don't care to be productive, especially since I don't feel guilty about anything. I play when i want to
Mate, this is interesting but its basically a sophisticated cope. Gaming is a low value activity. It's a synthetic career that gives the illusion of making progress in life and thus neutralises your desire to actually achieve. Just like porn synthesises the reward of actual sexual success. The guilt you feel is your subconscious trying to break through your delusion and cope. Listen to it. Pursue something worthwhile and learn a real skill. I say this as a lifelong gamer who owned an Atari 2600 as a kid, right through a CBM64, Amiga 600, Sega Megadrive right up to PS4 before I finally kicked the habit.
Brother, you never had a habit to kick that was inherently bad, I doubt everything you do is 100% the thing that others would say is worth while.
I used to feel guilty too so i sold my ps4 and bought a guitar Best decision of my entire life.