How To Deal With Family Members Who Put You Down
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- čas přidán 31. 07. 2024
- Family doesn't always mean the best support group just because some may have the tendency to put us down. Dealing with that alone can be frustrating but I share with you 2 ideas on how to go about it based on my acquired knowledge of 25 years of practice.
Watch and Enjoy!
Dr. Paul Jenkins
For a FREE digital copy of my mini-book, Portable Positivity, visit this link:
bit.ly/2PoIDam
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Video by Nate Woodbury
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#LiveOnPurpose
#PositiveParenting
My family’s been making fun of me over my weight and once I told them they hurt my feelings they started getting sarcastic & said they had to “roast” someone. I needed this 😊
Stacy, that is really unkind. You may need to do some things to distance yourself from their input.
I am facing the same now
a tip : watch series at flixzone. Been using it for watching lots of of movies recently.
@Maxwell Dayton yea, I've been using flixzone for since december myself :)
When I wanted to baby sit when I was 11 my mom would say no one’s going to ever higher u it’s not going to end well your not trained u are not going to make it in this job I lost all my motivation and my friends made a group and now there all babysitters don’t let people put u down
I am 50 years old and get put down by my mom too and that's why I don't see or hear from her that much at all
That is sad, Tina Lynn. Thanks for watching.
You deserve better than that
@Tina lynn Heart You're lucky that you have the option to avoid her. My Mum's my care'er legally. My elder sisters whom are nearly thirty, swear at me and are mean. But as soon as I open my mouth to say something back, my Mum goes into a frenzy and tells me to stop ✋. No wonder I have suicidal thoughts. 😭
OMG, I m not alone about having toxic mom .but I really don't want her opinions which are negative almost and also don't want her pamper. I just want to stay far from her for always, she is disabled,means need a support for walking like Stick .
And she can't go outside to purchase something because of that. So just leaving with her. But really want not to listen her any single word. Hopefully I can go far from her forever And live positive and happily after clearing My entrance exam next month.
God save us from toxic people
Its funny how family can put you down and then say you are too sensitive. But when you put them down they get really upset.
sun lilac, it would be best if we didn't put anyone down.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV True but sometimes people need a taste of their own medicine. If you do the same thing to them and they notice and give you a strange look maybe it sends a signal to their small articulate brain to start being nice to people.
Sometimes, my mother is the kindest, sweetest, most nurturing and caring person. But then she just snaps and starts yelling at me and telling me how horrible I am. For no reason! I try so hard to impress her and every time I do something I’m scared for her reaction.
She also treats me like garbage whenever my brother does anything better than me.
(Bit of background, my brother is a very gifted sportsman) Whenever he gets any special mention or trophy or award or literally anything, she tells me how I need to be more like him. I’m not as talented as my brother but the blatant favouritism is unbearable. I just want my mother to love me.
I’m not asking for pity, I’m not asking for anything but tips on how to deal with this.
Ebony The Poodle, I know it is a lot to ask of you at your age, but please understand that your mother's outbursts says more about her than you. It probably doesn't make sense right now, but you will come to know that you are valuable for being you. Start to do things that you enjoy and do things like getting good grades because it will help you in life. I bet one day your mother will feel bad about what she is doing, she may not be in a place to understand just what is happening right now.
I understand what you are going through. I have an older brother who has more art skills than me and whenever he draws something amazing my mom overreacts and says how he is so amazing. But whenever I show her something I drew she just says “Oh that’s ok” and then tells me about how my older brother can do it better and has a gift and not me. I just want her to appreciate me but instead not only her but also my father favors my older brother more.
My mother is the same! Sometimes i think giving up my life because of her!
@@victory9015 pray for her.
To Ebony the Poodle....Hi, honey. I don't know if you'll see this comment but I just wanted to share my experience. I'm 56 years old now, but I remember very well the ways my mother tormented me. For many years, I internalized what she said to me, because I didn't have anyone to tell me she was WRONG. Sometimes our parents can have mental illnesses or personality disorders, addictions....many things. And Dr. Jenkins is spot on. It says everything about her and not you. I don't know how old you are but regardless of age, words can hurt and hurt deeply, especially from a parent. I'm so sorry you're going through this and I want to tell you that you're lovable and valuable no matter what anyone else says, even a parent. I know that might not help much to think about that when you're going through such tough times, but maybe in some small way it will help and I want you to remember that SOMEONE (me) told you that you're a great person. Please just don't treat yourself like garbage! Because that's what I did. I took my mom's words and started believing them. Maybe your mother is a little jealous of you and sees something in you that she envies. I believe this is one of the main reasons my mom treated me the way she did. That, and she was highly narcissistic. (I'm not saying she's doing these things intentionally, but intentional or not, they still hurt a lot.) So, please, please please remember to treat yourself well, take care of yourself and find anyone you can who is supportive and CONSISTENTLY loving, encouraging and kind. Not too long from now you will be able to have the future and life you want. As horrible as my childhood was, I was able to raise my own two children with love and gave them safety and security - physical and emotional, things I always longed for. ALL of us want to be loved for who we are by others. Even more important is that we accept, respect and honor ourselves. Please be gentle and kind to YOURSELF.....and I wish you all the luck and love in the world!
The thing with "identifying", some family members feel a sense of satisfaction, when you tell them that you feel hurt, when hearing criticism ect. I know this from experience. So they'll keep doing it, like a kid bully. Even though they're nearly 30 years of age.
Saira Ailia, like I always say, it is stage, not age.
It's like you're giving them your vulnerability coordinates to target, handing them ammo, telling them what hurts you, works for them
Exactly
I have ignored the criticisms of my brother's for years, but they always continue. Too bad they don't back off.
The TICKLE FACTOR. I'm using this forever. Where were you in my childhood?? :)
I was probably figuring all this stuff out, haha. Thanks for watching, Rosalyn Anne Beauty.
Me too 😃
I'm 18 and grew up constantly being put down by my mother its at its worst now cause being an adult she expects the best out of me and inevitably when my best isn't good enough she puts me down, calls me a loser, bum, disapointment and many more names. It often leads me into deep depressions. I cant ignore when she puts me down cause I've known almost nothing but being put down
Mr Nobody, if you do not live with your mom, turn around and leave when she begins talking like that. You can let her know you won't allow the negative talk. Have her watch some of the videos that her job is to love her children, no matter what and even if...
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you from the bottom of my heart thank you it makes me feel a lot more comfortable in this world knowing that you care about the well being of others in what seems like such a careless world we live in.❤
I am so sorry of your situation, that is an unacceptable and ugly behaviour from any family member especially a mother. Know that you are not to blame, and make a decision to better yourself, you can do this by having an aim, how you plan to go about it, how long, think about the choice and reactions you may want to make in general whether it’s choosing how to respond to a person. Also be aware, we tend to lose all awareness when we feel judged and victimised. Think, breath and act accordingly. :) all the best ✝️
Yeah my family puts me down a lot about superficial things whether it’s my weight or the way I dress and they even call me ugly. I’m a pro at ignoring comments and just walking away but then when I’m by myself I cry and I put myself down and think to myself they’re probably right and just beat myself up which makes me feel even worse it’s a vicious cycle.
Ms. Elle, know that what they are saying says more about themselves than it does you. Life yourself up with your words and thoughts. Look for positive friends.
💜
I have ASD. I also have a slew of first cousins whom I only see at funerals. My own brother and sister gossipped and lied so much that I said good-bye four years ago.
They know I am older and live alone. Through the whole Plandemic lockdown not one called to ask if I was OK or needed anything.
They have in effect ceased to exist for me. I have something precious: peace of mind!
Glad you have found the peace you desired.
Thank you for everything what you do for us 😊😊😊
You are welcome, malika malika.
This is how I am naturally now because ppl suck and this is the best explanation for me to show ppl why
Kyle White, thank you for watching.
I quit reacting to Mom 10 years ago, or truthfully in childhood. It has not changed her attempts to control, manipulate or criticize.
I no longer care what she says or does. I cannot even feel much of anything around her. I believe I have blocked most of my emotions from being raised with emotional abuse.
I actually learned as a child to show no emotions at all! I recall telling a childhood friend “ don’t show happiness or sadness around my mom, she will control you.” At that time I’m not sure why I said that.
She is now a 90 year old who is very upset that the whole family has pulled away from her emotionally, socially and physically. She tries to say everyone has gone crazy and selfish. They are protecting themselves and their children.
My nephew, who has to deal with a lot of clients and tenants in his business, once used the “ okay” response with Mom. Epic! Now I use that as well.
I do have to skip to that step since she will jump with enjoyment, at any comments to her about feelings. She seems to thrive on drama.
I’ll admit I do feel sorry for her, but cannot help her.
I agree, it is very sad. Glad you are in a better place.
My mom is thi most bad human on this planet. She's treating me like hell. My brother spends his 12 hours on phone still she doesn't say him a single bad word And I who do all the household work and help her in more than half of work. She doesn't care about me and always abuses me verbally. Sometimes I feel like committing suicide😞where should I go if my own mom is treating me worst. I really feel bad about all those ppl who have such a worst family members in their family😔
Aarti Kale, please, please reach out for help if you feel suicidal. This will not be your life forever. You will grow up and be able to get some distance from your family.
Plz a video on in-laws or grandparents that are toxic
Thanks
ilovdance, check out a few others I have on this topic at the playlist and pull out the principles that you can then apply to the different situations.
Thanks. I had the Problem always with my ExPartners Mother and Sister. They ignored my Rules and way of parenting. Now the Relationship break up, because he never stand up for me and our kids when they put me down.
Thanks for watching and commenting, tara20394ox.
All I learned is: Ego is the enemy. Don't defend the position others put you into! His client, the mother of 3, defended her parenting skills because her mother put her in the position of "a bad mom".
The mother of the 3 kids had to know for herself that she's a good mother and that doesn't need recognition of others.
Ehrenhund, thank you for commenting
THANK YOU SO MUCH Dr. Paul!!! I love how your strategies are on point! And I love/appreciate that you put our understanding to the level of a child. It humbles me to know that Yes it's that simple don't over think stuff. I love the snapper strategy I have to use it! Hands down Dr. Paul. God bless you!🤗
Honored to be on your team, ROSIE112109 .
I needed this. Thank you!
You are welcome, Deidra Roberts.
My sister takes issues from when Ive messed up in the past and uses it to put me down and makes me feel bad for who I am
default army liutenant, don't give her the power to control your feelings. Respect hers and just do the best you can.
What a smart way to deal with these kind of behavior....thank you so much for all your work ..always so helpful!!🤗
You are welcome, ElenART. Thanks for being at the channel.
I decided to follow my dream. They constantly put me down. Its just that guilty feeling of disappointing them. At the same time happiness appears knowing that it was done...
Jungle Man, be true to you. They are putting pressure on you, recognize that and move on.
Thank you Dr Paul. I find it really helpful when you describe your ideas with an example.
Thank you, Catalina Navarro. I hope people see it as a guide, and not the only way. Define the principle and think of ways to apply it to your situation. I am glad you are at the channel.
Thank you so much Dr.Paul,great topic.
I wish I didn't have to do this topic, Jessica Ilano. Just seems that family should be supportive, but I know it doesn't always happen.
Thanks much needed My uncle says rude comments and he's always negative about things to everyone.
Sounds frustrating. I hope the video is effective for you.
Ya know what’s powerful, that intro bo. Great advice and wisdom. Thanks so much again. God bless!!!🙌
You are so welcome
My father and so-called friend keeps reminding me that i do not live in a fancy neighborhood, and i find it offensive. Example: when my friend would come visit me, he would say, “watch me out to my car.” My father told me to move, but he knows if i did, I would have no where to go, but to dwn grade back into an apartment. Yesterday, I emailed them both and told them, “if u don’t like where i live, then don’t come visit.”
Katina Botten, sounds like you handled it perfectly. You can meet them elsewhere.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV better yet, not meet them at all!
Thanks for sharing. Simple but powerful actions/answers/non reactions.
You are welcome, A22 Lovelife. Glad you have you with the Live On Purpose Family.
This is probably one of my favorite videos of yours 🥰 great channel
Kathryn B, thank you, truly.
Thank you so much, I'm often floored by some relatives and aquantances, Your advice will help me on my way. I often want to retaliate but only think of what to say later. This makes me realize that it was best just to keep quiet. Though I'm inclined to bring up the subject later, which is probably not very wise.
Rosemary Summers, if it is one that occurs again and again, it might be worth it. Thank you for watching.
Part of the problem is recognizing how demoralising their nasty behaviour is because it's usually disguised in some way. They are justifying their opinion; they are asserting their superior understanding of the situation; they are providing clarity etc; they are entitled to correct your incorrect understanding - but their tone and voice - the intent is to belittle, condescend, patronise etc. Identifying that you don't have to accept or tolerate their aggressive behaviour also requires support especially when it comes from a parent. Somehow there is still the parent Authority - entitled to put down the child even when the child is now 53 years old.
Laura Boyes, I hear what you are saying, thanks for sharing.
Omg this scenario is my life but its my grandmother and sister as well as mom makes me feel like a bad mother smh 😟 I am 21 I have a 2yr old but I feel like I have made a few mistakes. I am changing my parenting tips with your help and learning a whole lot of things I been doing wrong having a hard time forgiving myself for mistakes I've done but thank you great work Dr. what great help you are!👏👊
Every parent has made a mistake or two (or more) along the way. Don't feel bad, look ahead, not behind at what you are creating, Gloria Garza.
Thanks brother. I needed this.
Glad I could help, Johndrix2.
Perfect timing ♥️
I love it when things come together, Mariana Medina.
I have problems with my dad a lot, to the point where I don't ever want to be near him or call him dad. I just hate him, as much as I don't want to I just do. Not long ago, I had this fight with him that became aggressive/ physical, and it truly changed my whole perspective of him. I hate him, he puts me down every day saying terrible stuff about me and he knows that it hurts me because I cry every time in front of him. I try so hard to impress/ make him proud. I try talking to him about how both us of need to give more respect to each other, but he always says that I'm the one that has to listen and shut up. I try talking to my mom and big sister about this but my mom tells me the same thing and my big sister tells me, "honestly ale, I don't care." I just need everyone to listen to me and to put themselves in my shoes. I want them to know how much stress they are putting on me. - 6:09 - when I try doing this it's always them mocking me, telling me to be quiet, etc. I hate my life so much, to the point where I really thought of hurting myself, and I never ever wanted to think that but here I am.
Editing with Alexandra, this is so sad to hear. Don't hurt yourself, know that you won't be in this situation forever, it will change.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I won’t, I have had a talk with a friend that really help me out. All thank to your video!! Thank you so much 😊
❤ wow! Just what I needed!
Samantha Stanley, I am glad you found the video.
This only works if the parent that criticizes feels bad for doing it. What if they don't care, and make of you for speaking?
Gabrielle Boanerges, it is a nice way to call them out. Hopefully after sticking up for yourself a few times, they will realize that their comments aren't going to have the affect they have previously.
Thank you for this!
My pleasure!
Thank you so much. My Mum always rants about how I look weird by bus spotting/train spotting. First it was a joke, but as I got older, it became an insult. I also have ASD which makes it harder. However, this worked, especially to a parent from Africa. Thanks again.
You are very welcome.
I don’t know if i’m the only one but sometimes my familymembers just say these small things like “omg you have gotten so thin” and they don’t realise how hurtful that is because it is one of my big insecurities. People don’t know what others are going through so even if they didn’t mean it in a bad way it can still cause a lot of damage. I think the reason why i’m so insecure is also because of these many comments I have gotten through these years:(
Katrine Storm, they may not know how you feel but you also don't know what is behind their comments. Give them the benefit of the doubt and move on.
I'm going through the same. My mom always says you are too thin and it makes me SO uncomfortable she says it every single time I see her. Makes me not want to go visit 😔
@live on purpose TV I like to see the irony of the situation. Like it’s so funny that you have to comment about my weight instead of worrying about your own health. I may be as thin as a stick, but at least, I remain healthy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It usually works to break up the ice and become a nice joke that they tell at parties.
Positive Subliminals with Reiki Healing it’s all about perspective.
hello dr paul im very thankful for your videos im mostly applying to someone but it mostly triggers them being not that way. my bf is sick every month and im trying to make him be more healthy.otherwise it would be nice just not to trigger ppl ...😅
Being sick is never fun, ramona berger, but we can still be kind.
Great video once again. My mother and sisters seem intent on constantly picking on the way I am bringing up my son (who has a heart condition and autism), where the furniture is in my house, how I should or shouldn't be doing things, the list goes on. I am a single parent and run my own gardening business and so do the best I can. I've never been one for confrontation and recently have changed tact by reacting to their constant belittling. This doesn't work either and I think i've finally accepted that they are a different species to me. I care about how I make people feel, but they just say what ever they want and don't care. In future I will be seeing them, but not sharing what is happening in my life then they have nothing to fire back at me about. Not sure if it will work.
Jackie Conrad, sounds like a good plan to work from. Good luck.
Thank you for doing this video. This isn’t related exactly to the above video - are you able to do a video on encopresis? My teen has this & it has been difficult to find videos regarding this.
I will add it to the topic list and consider a video, Kelly Ferguson-Like.
New comment: I have a family member who puts me down as a “joke” I called him out on it one time and he got really angry at me and said it’s just a joke! Am I being too sensitive? I don’t think so. He often cuts us all down and claims they’re jokes but it hurts the teens’ feelings I really think it’s a power-play.
It might be. Assume the best and don't play along with the negativity.
Thanks, Dr Paul
Thank you for this advice! I will try this with my grown up daughter. Very difficult to live with & deal with her constant daily criticism (85% of the time she is confrontational with me & my husband) when she is living in our house taking advantage of us with everything. She also has a child out of wedlock (we take care of him 70% of the time & provide 100% for him) living with us. We love our grand child dearly, we give our unconditional love to him & do everything possible for him. My daughter does not work but she has no gratitude but blames everyone else, makes nasty comments, complain & makes excuses...It is very difficulty situation.
It sounds difficult, jenny kim. Find some help out there, a program to get her to find a job, etc. There are special programs for single parents, if you are in the US. Consider getting her my book, Pathological Positivity. She needs help to get on the right track.
One of my relatives told me that my family members don't have the emotional maturity to understand who I am. It is so much easier to drink lots of beer.
Easy doesn't often lead to long-term happiness.
😂... I know, right!?!? 😂
Drink lots a beer and then they'll have more ammo. Don't give it to them!!!
I am thrilled 😃😃😃😃 this was exactly my problem. Thank you and a big hello from germany 🙋🏼♀️ (me, mother of 3 kids with the mother you are talking about 😅😃👍🏼)
You are so welcome!
great analogy!!
mvl, thank you.
what a great video!!
Thanks!
GOOD STUFF! Subscribed.
Thanks, Angel.
Awesome advice..
Thank you.
Thank you!
You're welcome!
The eye feel statement!!
Thanks for watching, Tina Lynn.
King Solomon said something about do not Respond. ....to insults. Its your reaction their looking for
Leo Ascendant Compassion, better to act than react.
Very helpful!👍
Glad it helps, Gina McGrew. Honored to be on your team.
This is all very useful advice. But it would take practice to apply. We tend to react in the moment to situations which come at us unannounced. Is it possible then to take a step back? The first advice to say nothing would be fine, but quite difficult to do. The second advice to identify, verify ,accept takes preparedness, patience and practice. I don’t think I’ve ever done it, so will plan to try it the next time!
Thanks for giving it a go, Mark.
Thank you for what you do. This brought up a question.
I have a son who loves to "put down" a couple of his siblings and I am trying to share this strategy with both of them, but then how do I help my son?
Respect is the key and he is not respecting his siblings. Tell him the rule is respect of others and that includes talk. You can help him at first, but then there might need to be some consequences, Ammon Nelson.
thanks a lot!😊
You are welcome, ** nana. Honored to be on your team.
Thank you soo much.
You are welcome.
Helpful!
Glad it was helpful!
It's helpful 😊
Thank you for the positive feedback, Manideepa Pal. I appreciate you being here at Live On Purpose TV.
Wow! Thank you
You are welcome, Angelike Agront! Thank you for watching Live On Purpose TV.
I feel like “the help” in my family which is actually ridiculous cause I’m the baddest one 😂😩😩😭😭😭😭
Thank you for watching, I wish your family well.
Nothing is ever enough for my family. They never give me a chance to talk and cancel all of my goals and try to reason why I am not worthy of my current achievements and do things like even question my sexuality and accuse of having interest in ridiculous things and question my intent.
and that I’m better off just quoting.
and I’m better off just quiting.
My brother just made me subtly look like a weirdo and remove my business associates and even questioned my sexuality.
It’s like they try to ruin my reputation every time we have a conversation
Lynox Royal, I am sorry this is happening to you. I don't know how old you are, but it is never too early to come up with a plan to be self-sufficient and then you can make boundaries around your family. Have a plan and work the plan, it will help to stay focused.
My brother(now I don't consider him as brother ) is one of the most toxic persons I have in my life so I decided to cut every kind of connection to him and no response even if he talks so much bad stuff about me
bzx dius, nice, you don't control your brother's actions, just yours.
My mother is one of those she will do anything to help you then be an absolute sociopath whenever she feels like it. She is a power hungry monster and as soon as I can afford to leave all of my family I am buying my own house before 30 and never looking back. 18-25 almost killed me.
Boosted Fool, I am glad you have a plan to be self-sufficient and live your life with purpose.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you for your help all too often I see the older generations put us down, while allot of the things they say are true they often seem to make it sound like all of us are beanie wearing hipsters with no brain eating avocado toast. We have the internet and some of us, ALLOT of us are trying, the world is just moving so fast it is hard to keep up.
In a political climate when family members refuse to respect your opinion and on issues and expect you to think like them. It makes me feel ridiculed
Cheryl Dias, I hear quite a bit of this. People need to respect others views.
My daughter is an adult and constantly puts me down.
That breaks one of our family rules, respect others.
My mom and sister are living together and are financially motivated and doing good financially. I'm a new business owner who is struggling my first year in business. It's been rough I was doing OK then my dad got sick and I was up and down the road not really working for the last 3 months of his life. He passed away. When I was out of town I tried to work in there city but couldn't find work in their city. Sister wouldn't help at all. My mom would help randomly but puts me down so bad. It's terrible. She tells me how to spend whatever she gives funny thing is she could totally help but won't just put me down. I came up for my mom's birthday was out all day trying to find a gig. Get home she had me do all kind of work to do at there house because there moving and still put me down she doesn't understand my purpose my passion. So abusive it's sad. Not one time trying to.help me. Just a whole lot of prayer during these tough times. It's like they laugh under cover at me.
Motivation Everyday, I wish you well with your passion. Keep at it and don't give up.
Can I use this in a professional setting, as well. If something like this will ever occur?
I don't know why not.
i think a hard slap in the face... but that's just me
I understand the impulse, MrDavfit, it is an emotional issue. Thanks for watching.
Thanks, now i need is to stay far away from them.
VILLAINESS, boundaries can be helpful.
How do I communicate if my sibling refuses to communicate with me and listen to me unless it’s to exchange pleasantries. She’s still upset with me for working outdoors during the covid time, so it’s not like I can use the three step process with her. She has already done the identify, verify, accept with my mom instead of me. I’m the one she has an issue with so I have accepted the situation. However, is it possible to skip the two steps when we can hear how they feel from others. Also, she’s the aggressive type, so I’ll take a look at one of your other videos. Thanks for all that you do.
Kate Matthews, do the best you can with your sister - that's all you can do. We have more on our Positive Relationship Resources at czcams.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPA410uJ9woXx9B9WiPyM7fX.html
Honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thanks, i'll take a look into it.
Love that sniper analogy🤏👀🪖
Thank you.
I'm suffering depeession right now because of that,☹️ what should i do? I have no one to talk pls do give me an advice on what should i do😓😥
Arianne Grace Alima, talk to an adult about getting help for your depression. Talk to your doctor or the school counselor. You can reach out and get help.
I'm living with my brother's family his wife dnt allow me to eat her food but my brother don't mind me to eat their food if they cooked normally i need to buy my own food or cook for myself as temporarily I'm working part time. What shall I do? Pls advice thanks a lot 🙏
Help out cooking?
C L, thank you for watching Live On Purpose TV. This is a conversation you should probably have with your brother and his wife. Here are a couple things you could discuss: You buy what food you are able to and eat that. If you require more, perhaps you can do some work around the house to earn the privilege of eating their food. Keep the conversation calm and focus on finding solutions!
so my little borther told me today that i was old that u shouldnt be living at ur moms and that im getting babied i am 26 i make 24 n hr i am trying to move out but have a addiction of spending money n smoking so idk if that was putting me down can someone tell me ?
jesse varela, I don't know how it was said and the whole story. It could be that he believes someone who is 26 should be living on his own. Get your addictions under control and then you can be independent and won't need to worry about what your brother says.
I used the second strategy on a family member and he got mad at me and said that’s just like you to turn it back around on me and he hung the phone up on me! I win
Katherine, sounds like you did.
Simply ignore negative people including your relatives. You will be better off without them.
What if a person has dreams wich are dependable and tolt that he or she cannot accomplish it because of stupid reasons? How to baheve then? How to be able to convince people with those dreams?
Bobby Cute, I would break down the dream in smaller chunks and work on them. Sometimes there seems to be no way and then with persistence, the way shows itself.
My 2cousin sister eloped with their bf they always had bad attitude n no doubt they are suffering alot.. my cousin brother n sister has not done anything good in their life... They are overweight still make fun of my weight...they are wht uh do nothing.. bt the reality is different I'm studying I'm working on my weight...Im preparing for my exams I help my mom.. many more.... They always tried to put me down..I never gave them back answer.. i always smiled at them.. that's y they thought I'm easy to target.. their parents always support them n try to cover their mistake.. bt my mom made fun on me n my brother many time in front on them..that's they do it to... When I said this to my mom she said it's Ur attitude prblm.. if I can listen...I can answer..to bt I don't do this.. I started maintaining distance with them...I jst stopped going in their party... Or to their home...
Their are so many people in this...world.. if one doesn't care abt uh then.. go find other people like uh who will appreciate uh.. will love uh.. jst a suggestion
be savage, thanks for sharing your experience. Be positive and yes, you will get to decide who you want to spend time with as you get older.
How do we get a session with you dr Paul
Love always Jasmine, get in touch with the office. you can get information at my website, drpauljenkins.com.
That's all fine and dandy but what happened to me, my mother did not respond to the criticism of her mother in law, and she got fed up and kidnapped me (6 month baby) for the next six months. I didn't respond to my ex husbands constant put downs and he took my son and lodged a false complaint and took my son for the next year (5 year old who never slept away from me) until i got custody back. By then the psychological damage was done with me and my son. L
Sabirah Reinke, I am glad you were reunited with your son. It is possible to be positive and happy after a horrible experience. I hope you can see that and choose to be happy with your son and grateful for each day you have with him.
I had to deal with this for an entire week with my mother and I had no choice because I had to stay with her.
Mary N, Glad it didn't last longer than a week.
My sister in law is bossy and a bully. She makes me feel she has right over my kids and her brother ( my husband)
When I tell my husband or my sister in law that this is bothering me
They both call me a mental patient and a psychotic person.
Both of them told my kids that your mom hates your aunt and my sister in law treats my kids with expensive outings to win them over.
I feel betrayed by my husband and my kids think their aunt is really nice and best aunt.
I don’t know why I feel threatened by her when it comes to my kids.
Am I not doing my part as a mother to feel insecure?
samia, it probably has more to do with your husband. Consider marital counseling.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV
We have gone to marriage counseling like 12 sessions. He went there to change me. Because I am the mental patient in his eyes. Everyone tells me that your husband gives his sister the power. I cant change my husband or his sister. They have been close all their lives.
I feel like the out sider. My husband is very good with our kids and so is his sister.
I set boundaries and both my husband and his sister didn’t like.
Those boundaries cost me a lot. Even my own siblings told me , I made my husband and all his family my enemy by doing that.
I even see my own kids under 14 years not see why I did what I did. My husband takes kids to his family on all spacial occasions ( thanksgiving, New Years etc and my kids even tell me that I shouldn’t come since no one talks to me there. So I don’t go and stay home alone
Maybe my kids are young to not realize that their mom is home alone because they only see fun with cousins and aunts as they make it so much fun for the kids . But I feel heart broken when my kids don’t even care to be with me. Maybe I am doing something wrong or not enough with kids. That’s why I am here on your Chanel.
Thanks for listening!
I'm done with my Small brother(11year old) who disrespect me as well as parents , Acting like he is the most intelligent person in the world and everyone around him are dumb and he comes between when I'm studying and annoys me .I want to not care but his behaviour makes me react to it pls help me sir How to get peace and take back power?
NeHa, ignore him. He is trying to get some attention. Go to your parents for help in being left alone while studying.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Ok sir ,I will ignore him Thank you sir☺️
I wish I could go see him.
Honored to be on your team, Sara Ferguson.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV aww thank you :) you have truly helped me a lot!! I'm going to purchase the bed wetting alarm after watching your video on bed wetting as well! 😊
I just feel like someone is putting me down but not directly. Like when I said I got an internship she'd respond coldly and sarcastically congratulate me. Whenever I do something I feel like I'm not doing it right or I would second guess myself. Whenever she talks to me, I feel like I'm being treated like an idiot. She wouldn't tell me if I'd done things right and if she'd say something good it almost feels like a jab and not sincere at all. She likes to be the only center of conversation mostly, saying how good she's done in her work and how hard it was but she was able to do things well. If I were to say I'm going to try something most of the time she'd say things like: You think you can do it? Mostly negative and not a positive thing. I wonder if it's just in my head.
dashjbitz, it might not be. Sometimes relationships have run their course and it is time to find a new friend.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you so much for your reply.
What should I do if it's a relative or family member?
I don't get it. Never have related to those that have no sense of loyalty, or ability to just honor the ones we are here to love belong to
It is difficult, glad you are here in our community.
First one doesn’t work the less I react the crazier they get,
Nat F, are you being calm and waiting them out? They will push and push as they are used to the reaction. Good luck.
And I don't think they'd handle me not responding.
Cailie Betz, if they don't get the reaction they want, they may stop.
Scapegoating most of us. Horrible family dysfunction.
I am sorry, Sandra. Boundaries may be necessary.
My son will put me down I front if his girlfriend and make false claims and when I prove what he said was hog wash he will apologize to me but he doesn’t rectify what he yelled at me about and tell his girlfriend it wasn’t true and he made a mistake. So when I’m around them both I immediately feel like a scum bag cuz she has all this false info about me. This relationship my son has is very serious
joan baczek, do you ever say anything to the girlfriend? It could be helpful for her to know he does this before the relationship gets more serious.
I dumped my Father and sister. So toxic.
Sometimes space is just what we need.
What If they're all putting you down
Cailie Betz, boundaries?
Im sick of my parents
Drew Guapo, I hope you are trying to turn things around.
My family gossips about me🌝
Ayla's World, that sounds hurtful, I am sorry.
This totally "helped"
odd aime, so glad to know.
Oh yeah ;whatever nevermind.
Twila Clark, thanks for stopping by.
Oh please stick to your therapy for kids
Donna Adams, thank you.
being 14 is hard when your parents are so stupid and you don't the freedommm :(
BIEK, Hang in there, things will get better.