Scared of Life, Inability to Talk, Why I Avoid People

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  • čas přidán 22. 08. 2024
  • Never be offended if I don't respond or am distant from you. It's only because I must avoid pain as much as possible. I am sorry.

Komentáře • 380

  • @kanoteiwaz2319
    @kanoteiwaz2319 Před 4 lety +53

    I'm scared of life. There is no other way to express it.

  • @philosophyofthestars
    @philosophyofthestars Před 6 lety +143

    Love how people immediately say things like, 'he does not seem like he is in pain'...he does not need to prove that he is in pain to anyone. I know he died, but that is very annoying to tell people that. If THEY are in pain, that is all that matters. They do not have to convince you.

    • @HairyJuan
      @HairyJuan Před 3 lety +13

      He does seem in pain though, you can see he is hunched over and stiff.

    • @jeffreyantonson8029
      @jeffreyantonson8029 Před 3 lety +2

      Yes, thank you.

    • @persona-wo8bi
      @persona-wo8bi Před 3 lety +1

      Just ignore them, they feed on discussion to somehow validate their false assumptions, and feel like their opinion matters.

    • @chuchu9966
      @chuchu9966 Před rokem +3

      @@haleyehler7075 physical pain isn't the only pain

    • @TheFracturedfuture
      @TheFracturedfuture Před rokem +2

      @@haleyehler7075 So what?

  • @davidpolson4671
    @davidpolson4671 Před 4 lety +122

    I feel you, man. I used to be so full of life. Now I can’t work or hardly converse.

    • @sandypatterson7979
      @sandypatterson7979 Před 3 lety +1

      No, you matter. There is still light at the end of the tunnel, you still have a CHANCE, at a great life, things may seem bad now, but things will get BETTER. DONT kill yourself, and keep trying! Suicide is a sin against God, not that I havent commited sin. But once you kill yourself there is no way for redemption I believe,

    • @tylerpool5464
      @tylerpool5464 Před 3 lety +9

      Same here I use to jump out of bed and head out the door. No pills just ready for the day and excited for weekend plans or what I'm gonna do after work.

    • @mementomori5374
      @mementomori5374 Před 3 lety +3

      Same here

    • @lazyitravel9646
      @lazyitravel9646 Před 3 lety +4

      Same here I feel like some in someone else's shoes .There is this constant cloud around me.

    • @balticorchid
      @balticorchid Před 3 lety +1

      @@sandypatterson7979 czcams.com/video/MRqijH1dDdI/video.html

  • @Blaze77717
    @Blaze77717 Před 4 lety +46

    RIP Adam I know exactly how you felt you seemed like a genuinely kind and intelligent dude it's sucks that people like us are cursed with this shit

  • @classproject00111
    @classproject00111 Před rokem +12

    When Adam said “excuse me about the hair”, i knew he was truly in pain. “Excuse me about the hair” is really “excuse me for sharing my sad state with you”. I can relate

  • @kashawnm
    @kashawnm Před 8 lety +126

    I remember you always encouraging me at gym on manning lifestyles few years back. You always had good energy. Thank you for the informative video. Respect.

    • @Insertmiddlefinger
      @Insertmiddlefinger Před 7 lety +4

      Pal, I hope you listen to some happy music too, if not, then believe me when I say that listening to something less "I just want to cut myself!" may feel a bit off at first (this because your body might just be musically tuned to sadness at this point) But, it will help.
      I have helped so many people make great changes by simply having them change the music they are listening to, that I will tell you what I told them: Try for week, if it does not change a thing then sue me.

    • @missm6531
      @missm6531 Před 7 lety +3

      Just goes to show that he didn't suffer from this a few years back. Yet makes out he has been living a life of hell forever

    • @MrHoleemolee
      @MrHoleemolee Před 6 lety +2

      miss m you don't know the whole story do you...! What did you mean by you comment?

    • @allyouneedtoknowanonymous7558
      @allyouneedtoknowanonymous7558 Před 5 lety +3

      @@missm6531
      i find it odd he was in so so much suffering and pain yet he went to the gym?
      jeez just doing stairs to go to loo wipes me out.

    • @darkman9707
      @darkman9707 Před 5 lety +3

      @@allyouneedtoknowanonymous7558 his pain was caused by his brain, it was in his head you would only understand if you had the similar illness, like for example I know what the bipolar disorder feels like

  • @briannazooni6498
    @briannazooni6498 Před 5 lety +53

    Your story was heard Rest In Peace

    • @emericaffognitode8338
      @emericaffognitode8338 Před 3 lety +1

      Is he dead 😱?

    • @DeathToUsernames0101
      @DeathToUsernames0101 Před 3 lety +13

      @@emericaffognitode8338 With all due respect to Adam, I don't think he was ever alive. I say this with the utmost respect and understanding of his condition and compassion to his loved ones. Breathing and being alive are two very different things.

  • @destineecrystal_
    @destineecrystal_ Před 7 lety +27

    You pretty much described me in this video. I've been dealing with mental illness my entire life. I know how shitty & painful it can be. I wish I had gotten the chance to talk to you before you passed away. I feel a strange connection to you & everything you've said in your videos. It sounds dumb. But your story drew me in. You're missed by so many people. Thank you for being so vocal about your illnesses because it makes me feel less alone. Rest easy ❤

    • @aile-6816
      @aile-6816 Před 7 lety +2

      you wished that you had the chance to talk to him before he pass.. and i wish a strange wish people see this days, i wish that he had read the Quran..

    • @KS-lm6pm
      @KS-lm6pm Před 6 lety +2

      omgitzdestineex im exactly the same i feel like ive had to fight all my life to be here because i no i dont want to be here its scary i get thoughts about killing myself all day sometimes its really exhausting i hope your ok and well

    • @murskiig1280
      @murskiig1280 Před 4 lety

      @@aile-6816 I agree with u

    • @mainecoon6514
      @mainecoon6514 Před 2 lety +1

      @@KS-lm6pm and everytime bad things keep happening to me, I feel helpless and my mental symptoms worsen as a result. The pain is unbearable and I am looking into assisted suicide for myself. I want off the medication and therapy merry-go-round which has been ineffective for me. This sensitive and intelligent young man is now free from excruciating pain and suffering.

  • @beepbopboop7727
    @beepbopboop7727 Před 2 lety +18

    Condolenses to all the women who never got the chance to be chatted up by Adam.

    • @elijahpicklestein1718
      @elijahpicklestein1718 Před rokem

      What about the ones that never got to be feeled up.

    • @brie1987
      @brie1987 Před 6 měsíci

      Yeah, he’s a stud (an archaic term, but Its not sexual so I like it) Im too old to die young and too young to feel this old

  • @owenrouse5945
    @owenrouse5945 Před rokem +7

    Mental illness can truly be one of the hardest most isolating things too have too live with. As Adam says, there is a spectrum! You may have the same diagnosis as another person but it can effect people very differently and to different degrees! The brain is a very complex thing and sometimes it can really work against you instead of for you! Completely understand his pain

  • @adanmontalvo8800
    @adanmontalvo8800 Před 5 lety +55

    I just looked up why I avoid people... found this guy and now I found out he’s gone .... when my intention was to find an expert giving the answers I was hoping to find about my weird anxiety tendencies... goddamn....

    • @belleisyoung1339
      @belleisyoung1339 Před 3 lety +3

      Me too and now i feel bad

    • @jamex98
      @jamex98 Před 3 lety +1

      yep me too i will try avoid people. and i want to leave them because i realize today that i met toxic shits and do hate it. but when im alone i feel way good i must be should avoid to talk and talk bout me....man seriously when mentally disorder depression attacks it ever cant live here probably should take an suicide instead.

    • @ikr2377
      @ikr2377 Před 3 lety +3

      Autistic and introvert people tend to avoid people

    • @ikr2377
      @ikr2377 Před 3 lety +3

      You maybe an introvert like me. I get drained and need to recharge. Happy to talk to you about anything anytime. Take care

  • @kashawnm
    @kashawnm Před 7 lety +59

    Your work will continue to grow and reach sufferers who need to hear this valuable information. You are missed but I know you are resting easy. Rip AMC.

    • @craigseamus4335
      @craigseamus4335 Před 7 lety

      did you mean rest in peace? american multi cinema?

    • @jackeore_
      @jackeore_ Před 7 lety +9

      It stands for Adam Maier-Clayton. Look i've seen you trying to post 'funny' replys to the comments, you aren't funny. Just let this brave guy rest in peace, alright?

    • @HarvardChickie
      @HarvardChickie Před 7 lety +1

      jackeore_8009 Thank you. This poor young man was in a lot of psychogenic pain; he didn't want to die, he just didn't want to live in pain anymore, and who would? Let him RIP. He was very, kind brilliant, and extremely capable until the SSD ravaged his body. Thank you for standing up for him to this moron.
      Adam you were a hero to many for fighting as long as you did and your work didn't go in vain. RIP bud.

    • @ellenobrien4989
      @ellenobrien4989 Před 6 lety

      kashawnm h

    • @herbertrafael8001
      @herbertrafael8001 Před 6 lety

      Is like you helping the world with your meant to be funny comments, anything better to do that make fun of a dead guy?

  • @memabobinski7258
    @memabobinski7258 Před 7 lety +77

    Rest in peace Adam

    • @kevinnorris6558
      @kevinnorris6558 Před 6 lety +1

      memaw Wait? He died?

    • @shariqkhan4505
      @shariqkhan4505 Před 6 lety +1

      news.vice.com/en_ca/article/mb9dba/young-canadian-who-fought-for-assisted-suicide-for-mentally-ill-has-died

    • @g-max2810
      @g-max2810 Před 5 lety

      Talk to God read his words talk to him our Lord and savior Jesus Christ is really really Real he can take pain all away !!

    • @harpazoman5328
      @harpazoman5328 Před 5 lety +2

      There is no peace in Hell.

    • @descendantofartorias2067
      @descendantofartorias2067 Před 4 lety +11

      @@harpazoman5328 good thing there's no hell

  • @toomuchtruth
    @toomuchtruth Před 6 lety +12

    I totally understand him. I had severe social anxiety that caused me physical pain for most of my life. Really bad chest pain & tension that disrupted by breathing, body aches & frequent migraines. Your beliefs play a significant role in the success or failure of psychological repair. Life for me seems like it was meant to be a challenge, and the pain & shortcomings are there for us to overcome, to build spiritual strength.
    I understand that some people get a hand in life that's beyond them, such as children that are born with terminal illness. Similarly, some have been so psychologically shattered by experiences in life that they're beyond repair. I felt I was one of those people for a long time, but I've clawed my way to a much better place through many years of painful struggle & consistent, morale destroying failures. I still struggle often, but I'm stronger. I'm not sure if he was as beyond repair as he claimed tbh, but I think that I understand what he went through better than most. Makes me tear up a bit thinking about it. Brother, I hope your next life is better on you than this one & gives you a hand that you're more equipped to handle.

  • @CasandraCrowe
    @CasandraCrowe Před 5 lety +9

    Just found you and your videos today. At the end of the first one i watched, that described your life, you said you might be dead, i wasn't expecting that. I know and live many parts of your life. I took a route i so very wish you took, especially with your comments about exercising. You have inspired me to get involved. You are right. The meds arent the answer. I thank you for doing all of this. Sacrificing for the greater good. I wish i could have worked out with you, no talking, just positive, calm, energetic company. I am doing my best to speak less as it makes my life less hellasish. at the same time i know i have to commuincate. Thank you for helping me understand what my loved one is going thru with the pain and why he really needs me to be quiet and accepting of what he tells me he is going thru. I know i am not battling the same monster. i am inspired by your bravery.

  • @DanielDowns-iq7yj
    @DanielDowns-iq7yj Před 10 měsíci +3

    I totally get where he's coming from,tho i have had some diagnosis, there's still ongoing issues that ain't been. Heart goes out to his family.a very brave man. X

  • @WonderSean1
    @WonderSean1 Před 5 lety +11

    You are finally resting. I am suffering from the same thing and still trying to find my way.

  • @turquoisetoile-universalethics

    He dresses up and he shines through this horrible torture. The pain he was in was not who he was. He did not deserve that life. He deserved so much better

  • @TheChrislewis1989
    @TheChrislewis1989 Před 4 lety +13

    Found this by accident. I've never known how to explain how I feel and how the pain is, but he explains what I'm feeling 100%. Sorry he couldn't go on anymore. I feel the same exact way. It's crazy how I've been dealing with this for about 8years and I just now accidentally stumbled upon this. The drs. Won't do anything and I go to the clinic for methadone everyday just so I can get through a work day. It's sad. I don't want to be on "pain" medication but I have to just to get through the day. And like he said the pain doesnt go away from taking pain type of meds it just helps you be able to get out of bed for a few hours to be able to work, shop, shower, ect ect!

    • @JeipsterMusic
      @JeipsterMusic Před 2 lety

      its like a pain that comes and you cant do anything about it and you have no clue why it comes, i've had this for 2 years and im 20 atm. for me its, pain from extreme body pressure and anxiety about this pain. you cannot talk too much and doing stuff you actually dont really want to do feels so huge to even do.

    • @JeipsterMusic
      @JeipsterMusic Před 2 lety

      hope you are doing alright today, and im thankful you shared your story

  • @maryemsoudani2217
    @maryemsoudani2217 Před rokem +2

    Adam, it is genuinely incredibly touching to discover your journey and admirable to discern your bigger-than-life qualities, how selfless, patient, brillantly genius you are. A great thing about this is that a sort of collective generalised awakening stemming from the recogniton of your great efforts is absolutely inevitable. In terms of people who aren't susceptible to this neurological disorder, it is incredibly eye-opening and a complete cognitive reset of what is commonly thought of in terms of life and death in an obsolete system. And for the prone to such pain, it is a noble consolation, solace, sovereign support of the highest regard. It seems quintessential to attest to the fact that you had a sort of prophecy to fullfil, an honourable mission, prolific and fertile enough that it transcends this realm of existence. A parcel of the light you paved the way with will remain in the hearts of every single person you touched with your story, and for that simple reason, you'll always live on...❤

  • @Anson120
    @Anson120 Před 6 lety +20

    Oh yes I know what he went through. I cant cope with it. No interest is the one that is killing me. I have lived with it for 15 yrs. Then there is the head trauma. Oh ,man. I know the main thing why he was hurt: No intimacy. I actually think it causes neuro damage. I am one of those too. Just I am un -interested and exhausted for even friends.I am trying (online) and what do you know. Gals are not into my image. I guess think positive.

  • @wanderer-xr5pz
    @wanderer-xr5pz Před 3 lety +51

    I hope there really is a afterlife and this guy is ok

    • @awarewolf2685
      @awarewolf2685 Před 2 lety +6

      It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t need it anymore

    • @adrianeyre3630
      @adrianeyre3630 Před rokem +2

      @HD MIX And why would that be ? So you’re saying is after this guy passes he’s going to be in worse pain . How dare you!!! You sicko

    • @fortyfiver3828
      @fortyfiver3828 Před rokem

      yes there is reincarnation

    • @clown7169
      @clown7169 Před rokem

      ​@@fortyfiver3828good cope mate, yes I'm sure the cockroach you'll become has all the human memories you had.😅

    • @is1745
      @is1745 Před 11 měsíci

      I believe in heaven and hell and one thing is for sure, in the bible, self-murder or suicide is a sin and you will be rejected by God. So I am sorry to say but I don't think he made it to God's kingdom and I really am deeply sorry, this video almost made me cry.

  • @afterlife101spirit
    @afterlife101spirit Před 9 měsíci +3

    I was in a similar position to this guy. l’d planned to leave life, as nothing was working. My health was fine until I lost my father and then it started. I was very fortunate that a doctor suggested duloxetine and it helped me to be able to manage it a little better, without wanting to be dead everyday. I’m so sorry you went through this Adam and it sounds like you were suffering awfully. I totally understand why you gave up and am very saddened that nothing worked for you. RIP brother and love and light to you and your family.

    • @jessemelville
      @jessemelville Před 6 měsíci

      Psychotropic drugs aren't a solution and when they stop working guess what your anxiety and suffering will be that much worse.

    • @afterlife101spirit
      @afterlife101spirit Před 6 měsíci +1

      @@jessemelville you have obviously never suffered from serious debilitating chronic pain. These meds saved my life at the time, and that was the important thing. I know the effects won’t last forever, but when you’ve exhausted all your other options, what are you supposed to do? You also lack basic empathy with your comment and that’s something you could work on. All the best.

    • @jessemelville
      @jessemelville Před 6 měsíci

      @@afterlife101spirit No wrong I have panic disorder, PTSD and took drugs for a brief period of time and stopped after realizing it doesn't work and is based off junk science in order to sell pills for profits, it's a billion dollar industry things like meditation and deep breathing, getting good sleep etc are what actually work but they can make billions of dollars off of gullible people.
      All those drugs do is cause a placebo effect and serotonin you can produce in the brain from eating pumpkin seeds, guess what it does very little but the scamming dr's will say it will treat anxiety yet everyone is hooked on those pills and never get better but get worse.
      Yes I've heard many people like you say that the pills saved my life blah blah blah and you guys are the same people that are to lazy to do meditation or deep relaxation, you just want a quick fix like a mind altering drug so lazy and sets the standard for people that actually want to recover it's complete stupidity.

  • @Insertmiddlefinger
    @Insertmiddlefinger Před 7 lety +20

    A human being too afraid to live, is like a star too afraid to shine, still does what it is meant to do, and its nice, and hopefully as many as possible will get to enjoy its warmth and light while it lasts, as nobody knows where it goes when it stops shining, or if it will ever return.
    They look amazing when together, yet together, it can sometimes be easy to take some of them for granted, easy to lose sight of what makes each of them unique, valuable, and beautiful.
    It is then when we must remember, that even the most majestic of night skies, would be nothing if it where not for each star being an impeccable being of its own.
    If you saw a lonely star, would you speak to it? Would it answer back? If it did, would you be willing to listen with your heart? If it asked you to leave it alone, or told you to let it be, would you comprehend that it needs some time to recover?
    Perhaps it has burned too hot, too strong for some time, and is burned out, you can let it know that it does not have to go back to its kin, but that each and every single star is waiting for its arrival, its return with great anticipation, does not every single star united with its kin, only make the night sky shine brighter?
    That star could think that is has to shine its strongest if it is to be with its own, that it has to burn with intense heat, that only then will it matter. Ask the star if it wants to calm down, tell it that in the grand night sky it is never how about which star shines the brightest, sincerely tell it that you might not even notice it shining brighter than the rest, that the whole large scale is what you are watching.
    We are all stars of our own, let us shine with a calm light, so that we can all shine together no matter how far, or how close we might be from one another as individuals, as we remember that we live in a round world, where no one is truly ahead or behind the other.
    But rather where we are all one when together, and we are all together on this planet, all under the same night sky, and even when we feel alone, others accompany us in their sentiments.
    Shine wherever you are, we are waiting for you, and know that you are welcome, whenever you are ready.

    • @Insertmiddlefinger
      @Insertmiddlefinger Před 7 lety +1

      A piece of advice just for you Adam, from your fellow human being: People that try to help us, have a tendency to say things such as "Just relax", that just means that they have a fucking easy time relaxing themselves, relaxation is an art, and if you calm down and still feel tense, it has nothing to do with you calming down, but rather that you are still stressed, get it? So if you practice calming down, and still feel stressed, its because the stress needs to leave before you can actually experience the calm itself, what you need to do, is to keep "calm mode engaged" (it might take some practice) until you can actually experience the relaxation.
      Works for me.
      Ps: Its just for Adam! Yeah you others! Its not for you! I can see you reading, its not for you I said XD

    • @craigseamus4335
      @craigseamus4335 Před 7 lety +4

      its like a butthole too afraid to shit.

    • @Madhur102
      @Madhur102 Před 7 lety

      I was waiting for a comment to get me. This one got me. I'm done.

  • @alexmia4606
    @alexmia4606 Před 3 lety +5

    i can feel what adam is talking about!!the pain he is talking about is much worse than any kind of physical pain!!well i have chest pain and it is like burning so much!!thanks God,i am better with SSRIs,escitalopram and now sertraline but the thing is if you have something that is bothering you i mean any issue at home or the college or some friends leave that as soon as possible!!try some new place,try new friends,avoid people or environment which induces the pain

  • @hallo4651
    @hallo4651 Před 3 lety +11

    oh shit this guy died? he's finally free, no more suffer.

    • @ritwikdebnath1369
      @ritwikdebnath1369 Před rokem

      He also suffered a lot while committing suicide too....Chronic pain and again suicidal pain

    • @hallo4651
      @hallo4651 Před rokem +2

      @@ritwikdebnath1369 A Small Price to Pay for Salvation

  • @mauricioramirez9744
    @mauricioramirez9744 Před 2 lety +11

    I stopped taking my meds after years on lexapro, anti anxiety meds, latuda etc....I feel like I've woken up. I just decided it was time to grow a pair and put my big boy pants on and face my fears head on. I had to adopt a warrior-like mentality to overcome my fear of rejection and failure. Now, I don't care if I piss people off, I don't care if I don't meet other's expectations. Gotta live life and leave those behind who do nothing else than criticize and judge.

  • @lark265
    @lark265 Před 5 lety +15

    he had guts

  • @tracymcgrath1192
    @tracymcgrath1192 Před 3 lety +5

    What a sweet soul 💯♥️🙏😞

  • @garhew1494
    @garhew1494 Před 3 lety +7

    This guy's story made me cry

    • @shinigamitenshi7424
      @shinigamitenshi7424 Před 2 lety +1

      same... i feel so much empathy for his pain, couldn’t help myself but cry

  • @zagorakis88
    @zagorakis88 Před 3 lety +6

    Rest in peace brother!

  • @devilstompa
    @devilstompa Před 11 měsíci +1

    Thank you for your videos and speaking out about your health. Your story is close to mine.

  • @Veteransolo
    @Veteransolo Před měsícem

    The biggest irony 9 discovered in my 27 years of living as an introvert and a loner, is that my fellow brethren who avoid people are the nicest, kindest and most humane people i met, while the extroverts and party animals who love to be surrounded with other people are the meanest, unkind and most inhumane people i met who are superficial and love to boast their superiority to people even to their brethren,
    A great paradox indeed,
    I love being alone, i love being an independent thinker, doing my own thing, working out at home or at the park, going hiking and trekking alone, playing my bass guitar alone, writing my journal and a book i started, going to work doing my job and go home no drama, spending time with my parents and wife, it's addictive being alone, i used to be afraid of it, but i feel very good now, i avoid people as much as possible, and it makes me feel happy because i do ehat i want, when i want and go where i want to go. My wife and parents understand that this is me, and they don't get the wrong idea when i go out by myself or wanna spend alone in my home office either playing bass, writing my journal or books, or working out in my makeshift gym home, my friends, my 2 best friends are a bit offended since they are extroverts and party animals, but the sad part?
    I don't care.
    Don't worry my brethrens l, you are not alone, we are together in this, connected, just look at the night sky, and you will realise, that we are connected,
    God bless you all.✝️☦👑

  • @joselinema
    @joselinema Před 6 lety +18

    Its impossible to treat mental pain.

    • @lark265
      @lark265 Před 5 lety +4

      yes it is....though psychiatry will tell us different......its that nice carrot they hold out there for us that kills us

    • @allyouneedtoknowanonymous7558
      @allyouneedtoknowanonymous7558 Před 5 lety +2

      @@lark265
      its them that killed Adam with their poison. they should be charged with murder.
      900 mgs of Gabapentin alone each day.
      and we wonder why he is dead with that poison killing his brain cells.

    • @g-max2810
      @g-max2810 Před 5 lety +1

      Lynn Love try God our Lord and savior Jesus Christ!!

  • @grzegorzkobierski
    @grzegorzkobierski Před 6 měsíci +2

    Oh gosh, he was literally such an amazing human being, super duper handsome good-looking guy with gorgeous curly hair, smart and witful individual, reliable friend and kindful son. Fucking many and many people living right now at this particular moment are wasting their time on parties and shit, bitching about this and that (most of that are such goddamn minutae that are not really worth to be reckoned with), taking every life favour for granted and never really understanding what a big treasure like healthy and happy, meaningful life they actually have. Life, but not existence. Existence without a purpose and joy is akin to being dead, but never actually having died. Paradox. I guess that is the thought Adam tried to convey and I accurately recieved that. Been suffering from mental disorders for some time myself and the longer I continue to exist, not to live, the more I am becoming okay with an idea of fucking passing away. Anyway, apart from the fact these weirdos in the government still have not made it legal for people with mental disorders to go on their own terms - "The Trudeau government has announced the delay will last until at least 2027. This will move the issue until after the next federal election, which must happen no later than October 20, 2025" - and Adam's activism has been in fact in vain, another important overt message I can hear from his videos is appreciating all the good things you have in your life, because you never can imagine what might occur to you next day, when you bitch about trivial stuff, there are always people pegging out through real life hardships, taking their last breath in & out and saying goodbye to the world...

  • @Vickyxl987
    @Vickyxl987 Před 2 lety +3

    I used to getting comfortable talking to people, but with being aged and going through a lot of things, I am becoming a person of few words when I’m with people where I’m at work or in any situation. Even though I really hate the way that Im dealing with people, but I can’t change it, sometimes I feel like it might be a good thing cuz I can focus myself on the right things that I want to achieve and no one would disturb me, sometimes I feel so lonely and could not find some ones to talk and afraid of telling the true feelings even people are willing to listen to me, I don’t trust so much on them

  • @pauliewalnuts6734
    @pauliewalnuts6734 Před 5 měsíci

    its deeply astonishing how similar our stories are, sleep (if i can get any) and gym are the tiny moments of pain free-ness i feel these days. We didn't deserve this horrible life. RIP adam I'll be joining you soon.

  • @brie1987
    @brie1987 Před 6 měsíci +1

    Being a guy is doubly hard for this kind of suffering. Not to be sexist, but men really need to feel needed (we all do). Being providers, physically strong, don’t cry, don’t be weak. Being female we can be weak more but its still sucks.

  • @turquoisetoile-universalethics

    His testimony about not being able to talk because of painreminds me that there are other ways to communicate other ways to listen. ❤

  • @Johanna040713
    @Johanna040713 Před 7 lety +14

    Something very strange was going on inside of his skull. A condition that makes talking to cause pain? I've never heard about that.

    • @lark265
      @lark265 Před 5 lety +4

      yet........it exists

  • @missvida6251
    @missvida6251 Před 9 měsíci +1

    This man had a lot to lice for. What did he want? What was he seeking???? He was attractive, he had a great jawline, his hair was too greasy but a little maintenance could have helped. I hope his soul has finally found peace

  • @Leo_Davis_
    @Leo_Davis_ Před 8 lety +4

    I heard you on the Roy Green Show today... I had to find your CZcams channel after the show... I feel the same way as you do... I have tried explaining these feelings to family, and my mom. Ive lived like this for as long as I can remember, and I tried fighting it my entire life. In July i had a complete break down... I tried going to my fiance about it, she said it will be better in a couple days... She didnt understand. Anyway, i have been diagnosed with severe mania depression with severe anxiety.... Medication has helped some, but I still dont feel "normal".. I dont know what normal is anymore anyway. My anxiety is getting bad again, I cant even answer my phone sometimes, or check the mailbox... i usually get really really hot, start sweating, my heart starts beating fast....i start getting almost tremors cause i"m so tense, and even have a hard time walking.... its almost like living with stage fright all day..... Anyway, \Good Luck... I will be looking forward to your videos.....

    • @aile-6816
      @aile-6816 Před 7 lety

      Dude i've a question, why people have depression

    • @kadrimamud377
      @kadrimamud377 Před 4 lety +1

      @@aile-6816 persistent pain most common cause

  • @emilyvonshultz
    @emilyvonshultz Před 7 lety +23

    I hope he finally found peace.

    • @DanielFranc35
      @DanielFranc35 Před 6 lety

      Emily Von Shultz smells of rotten...

    • @Anson120
      @Anson120 Před 6 lety

      Is that you? in the pic.

    • @g-max2810
      @g-max2810 Před 5 lety

      Is hell Real to you ? Do you know God your Lord and savior Jesus Christ??

  • @thisisbob1001
    @thisisbob1001 Před 5 lety +24

    Anxiety and depression is hard.

    • @MrMikeymontemayor
      @MrMikeymontemayor Před 3 lety +10

      It is, but that has nothing to do with Adams condition.

  • @quinnpastel230
    @quinnpastel230 Před 3 lety +2

    I'm sorry you are unable to talk with people. It sucks. I used to not be able to talk to people because of selective mutism and something that helped me was passing notes back and forth with people I was close with. I see that you make videos and while watching this video it popped to mind that an alternative to making videos would be writing books. Just thought I should let you know in case it's something you didn't already consider. Take care

  • @nickilovesdogs8137
    @nickilovesdogs8137 Před 6 lety +2

    I have the same symptoms as Adam had. There is a girl her name is Gabby she has No pain at all she can not feel pain even though the fMRI shows heightened brain activity in the regions indicating pain where she was poked into the finger. What is striking is that Gabby has tons of friends while I have only one human friend (and I am deeply grateful that I have him as my friend). Obviously a person who feels perpetuated pain in particular emotional pain is not able to keep friends and not even attract any friends at all. It would be a better life to have Gabby's condition rather than Adam's.

  • @brayanreyes6304
    @brayanreyes6304 Před 5 lety +5

    I can relate.I think the medication made me feel worse .people usually mis understand me

  • @ohokay5355
    @ohokay5355 Před 6 lety +11

    he was so handsome and intelligent. RIP Adam

    • @DeathToUsernames0101
      @DeathToUsernames0101 Před 3 lety +3

      He was. Unfortunately, genetic handsomeness has never been a cure to a disease. If anything, it helped bring to light one of the preconceived notions so many have: "They didn't look sick."

    • @ohokay5355
      @ohokay5355 Před 2 lety +1

      @Luke Austin no his looks don’t matter but I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong by making a comment on his appearance. It was an observation, nothing more. But thanks for your reply and have a nice day!

  • @leeann2226
    @leeann2226 Před 5 lety +2

    Poor Adams Family Sending sincere Condolences 💐🇦🇺

  • @kb6938
    @kb6938 Před 2 lety +1

    Your videos make much sense. Rest in peace brother

  • @jfranco3842
    @jfranco3842 Před 2 lety +3

    @ Adam,
    To you and all here call on the Name of Jesus say help me Jesus .Do it daily or offen .And look for your prision doors to begin to open.believe they will.
    your blinded by something you don't understand , but keep going to Jesus Christ he is Lord and savior.and can fully set you free. I promise you he can.John 3;16 Romans10-9-13
    Matthew 28:30 come to me all who are weary and I will....
    I bind every one that is afecting him in spirit .And tell it to go in Jesus Name Now cursing is the first out in Jesus name Now🔑✝️2/17/22

  • @raycharles654
    @raycharles654 Před rokem +4

    Damn man I wish there could have been something that could have worked out for you

  • @vanamandaa
    @vanamandaa Před 2 lety +21

    Everything Adam has said in many of his previous videos I can relate to, especially this one about working out. I wish I could've met him before he left this earth, but I understand how hard it was for him to be here. RIP Adam ❤️

    • @thinktwice3710
      @thinktwice3710 Před 2 lety +1

      He died?

    • @vanamandaa
      @vanamandaa Před 2 lety +4

      @@thinktwice3710 Sadly, he committed suicide 💔

    • @ceasarcruz8312
      @ceasarcruz8312 Před rokem +1

      @@vanamandaa as much as I hate saying this, suicide is a cowards way out, all it does is leave mess for others to clean up and deal with, both physically and emotionally...

    • @focusonpositivity8067
      @focusonpositivity8067 Před rokem +2

      I would rather him be at peace then suffer.

    • @roberthutchins3435
      @roberthutchins3435 Před rokem +3

      @@ceasarcruz8312 We Have Very Little Control In Life,And No One Asked To Be Born.....For Some Life Is Unbearable And Other Peoples Judgement Mean Nothing.

  • @russellclash
    @russellclash Před 11 měsíci +1

    we can't work, we can't live, we're not allowed to die without leaving a corpse for the cleaning maid to find.

  • @ryanfarezoco4839
    @ryanfarezoco4839 Před 2 lety +2

    You're not alone brother!

  • @unknownman6631
    @unknownman6631 Před 2 lety +2

    It makes me feel so lonely after seeing this video

  • @yasinelkarmoudi
    @yasinelkarmoudi Před 2 lety +2

    RIP man ❤️ you’ll be missed

  • @melissagreening6321
    @melissagreening6321 Před 7 lety +24

    It sounds like he was Scared of People, not life.. in all his videos everything adds up to Extreme Social Anxiety.. I have Social Anxiety.. and 2 of my biggest symptoms are 1) inability to talk to people and 2) Avoiding situations... Also my throat sometimes feels as though it will collapse and I get extremely hydrated,..

    • @earlsweater0946
      @earlsweater0946 Před 6 lety +9

      melissa greening he's said multiple times that the more he talks, the more pain he endures

    • @nickpastorino5370
      @nickpastorino5370 Před 6 lety +5

      I also have anxiety problems, but that's not the only reason I usually avoid replying to people online. Some people are just plain rude and they don't know how to be considerate of others. It's not your fault that you try to avoid people, some people are just a pain in the ass and it's impossible to know who is worth your time.

    • @POPDATA
      @POPDATA Před 6 lety

      In my case, I do talk to some people but I have SAD anyway. I just don't feel like I'm actually being myself with people.

    • @sameeringale4771
      @sameeringale4771 Před 6 lety

      Same thing happens to me... like my throat feels dry and hoarse... whenever I talk with someone outside....

    • @Waska
      @Waska Před 5 lety +1

      I have the same problem and it's really fucking my life up I need help 😢

  • @rmak7990
    @rmak7990 Před 4 lety +5

    what is wrong with people? some are commenting to get their suicidal thoughts validated, i mean the ones adam did not advocate for, the ones who are conveyed by 14-year-old girls after they get dumped by their boyfriends; others are either talking shit about him etc. just let him rest man, these are acts that dilute his efforts to advocate for mental health.

  • @nasuha9381
    @nasuha9381 Před rokem +2

    I'm scared of people

  • @sprangbrake5938
    @sprangbrake5938 Před 2 lety +1

    You are a hero, i love you man. See you soon!

  • @johndurrer7869
    @johndurrer7869 Před rokem +2

    When I was a teen I got insanely drunk and took weed that was laced. It caused a severe chemical imbalance. For months I just laid in bed in agony and fear wondering how much longer O could hold out. It felt like the fear/panic a normal person would’ve felt if they had a gun pointed at their head but mine was for no reason. Luckily for me chemical imbalances can be fixed. But if it hadn’t gotten better there is no question I would’ve done the same as Adam

    • @elijahpicklestein1718
      @elijahpicklestein1718 Před rokem

      Chemical imbalances aren't real lol what you describe is your nerves becoming hyper stimulated.

    • @johndurrer7869
      @johndurrer7869 Před rokem +1

      Yes because I had a chemical imbalance .

    • @Hc.krd1
      @Hc.krd1 Před rokem

      What were your symptoms?

    • @johndurrer7869
      @johndurrer7869 Před rokem

      A constant feeling of terror. Like how I would feel if someone had a gun to my head today. Basically like a 5 month long panic attack with no breaks . It happened the day before the Super Bowl in 2000. It was an awful trip that had me 100% convinced I was gonna die. But I kept telling myself it was just a bad trip and it would end any minute, and like I expected it did. . I went home so relieved to be alive and spent the entire day helping my Mom out. But after about 20 hours the exact same thing came back and like 10 times harder than the night before. And this time I couldn’t tell myself it would just get better when it wore off. It was months of absolute hell. One day it just went away (after trying a new medication). And since that day I haven’t had a panic attack even once. But had that continued there is no way I could’ve loved like that forever. No chance

    • @elijahpicklestein1718
      @elijahpicklestein1718 Před rokem

      @@johndurrer7869 Its not a chemical imbalance you're buying into the propaganda of big pharma,panic attacks are well understood it has nothing to do with neuro transmitters in the brain stop perpetuating bullshit.

  • @celestin777
    @celestin777 Před rokem

    Eternal rest grant unto Adam Maier-Clayton, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
    Amen.

  • @justlennie7457
    @justlennie7457 Před 5 lety +2

    I am in the same situation! :( Crying like a little baby right now...

  • @SceneAndHeardPodcast
    @SceneAndHeardPodcast Před rokem +1

    I miss you friend. 💔💔

  • @SelenaSecretShow
    @SelenaSecretShow Před měsícem

    You remind me of the ending of the movie of beauty and the beast where the beast turns into a handsome young man.
    And on the same note our health care industry is a tragedy because they only cater to people that physically look sick or are ugly.
    I know this is going to sound really awful but because you are a handsome young man in this world people will not believe you.
    People in this world equate ugly to being in pain.
    And because you are not you will never receive the proper treatment.
    I know that that's sounds horrible but I've been on this Earth for 20 something years and doctors have never helped me regarding any of my mental stuff because they take one look at me and they think I have a wonderful life based upon beauty and looks when in reality those things will fade away and become ashes and dust in the end.
    I even live in a building for people that are disabled mentally or physically and the people treat me like I am some sort of person or celebrity to be put on a pedestal watching my every move based upon my looks. I find it to be absolutely disgusting.
    They are never concerned with how I feel or how I'm doing they only want to watch me fail or fall.they want to see me in pain because it makes them feel better about their miserable lives.
    Cause if you are beautiful you don't need any help in this world right?
    Doctor's friends family they will all abandon you because they think that you're doing better than them based upon something that you have absolutely no control over.
    Beauty is the loneliest thing in the entirety of an existence to be considered societally beautiful is death while living.
    " A lovely corpse an ideal of human perfection."
    Yet these same people will never see the pain on the inside the loneliness, the sadness, the depths of depression that reach all the way down to hell itself..
    And I promise you the only way out in this world is Jesus.
    Everything else sucks here.

  • @jadenbrown3853
    @jadenbrown3853 Před 3 lety +2

    Gone pray for ya man all I can do to try to help 1 Peter 5:7

  • @toluene21
    @toluene21 Před rokem +1

    RIP, AMC

  • @kibuiesther2683
    @kibuiesther2683 Před 7 lety +3

    It's better to have nothing but faith...sad story😯

    • @harpazoman5328
      @harpazoman5328 Před 5 lety

      @Kibul Esther, Paul said I have nothing but I possess everything.

  • @KevlarVTX
    @KevlarVTX Před 2 lety +2

    RIP. Wonder if he ever tried ketamine or psilocybin. We'll never know.

  • @nancygee3137
    @nancygee3137 Před rokem

    I see people having children and getting married and taking pics with family and I am alone as an outsider. I am afraid of life and being homeless, low income and alone.

  • @henrikkrusty1091
    @henrikkrusty1091 Před 6 lety +1

    ele foi extremamente forte em fazer todos esses vídeos, nunca vou esquece-lo

  • @allyouneedtoknowanonymous7558

    rest in peace......
    no one deserves it more.
    i want to be an activist in UK for the legal right to die in dignity. i had planned on never seeing 2019. now a letter has come. and i still cry. it has ruined....delayed my plans..... rheumatology appt in. every awake hour hell for me an i think you would have understood this....i don't kno if they can help my pain or not. but Adam.....u were a gent and hero to the end.
    i am proud of you.

    • @johanb8984
      @johanb8984 Před 5 lety

      allyouneedtoknow anonymous ❤️

  • @mTravelfoot61
    @mTravelfoot61 Před 3 lety +2

    I need a group fellas that feel the same way I do

  • @rebeccam1395
    @rebeccam1395 Před 6 lety +1

    Rest in peace ✌🏼 AMC X❤️🙏🏼🌹

  • @AncientRiver1
    @AncientRiver1 Před 7 lety +1

    hey adam , i noticed your tee shirt with Atheist on it. That is so perfect. I am disabled for a long time and did all the reads by priests nuns rajas chopra and discovered my BS alert went off after reading all that shit. As an atheist you know that this is a 1 time shot, you have nothing to lose. As atheist's we understand our only reason to be here is for an fulfilling experience which is your choice. Understand that at some point a perfect mixture of medicine will come along to ease your particular ailment and then you can start living ...maybe Plan B will work out better...a free roll what have you got to lose?

  • @jotoriousjessiahprincejr3089

    Everything is saying I’m going through it rn

  • @angelusavila2409
    @angelusavila2409 Před 7 lety +1

    I praying for you Adams God bless you I know you are in God's house live in peace!

  • @epifaniamarasigan617
    @epifaniamarasigan617 Před 5 lety +3

    Thank you for sharing your experience; for having the boldness to reveal what you are going thru. I kniw the feeling. Fortunately though i have the FAITH in the Lord Jesus Christ and I am always helped; i dont have to be lonely and alone for HE is always with me.. Like Job i learned to praise God and trust Him in everything I am going through.. Im still have ecxema but with God's strength, I can manage. Glory to God i have Hope!!
    Bless you.

    • @allyouneedtoknowanonymous7558
      @allyouneedtoknowanonymous7558 Před 5 lety +5

      he died.
      and according to your satanic religion as a atheist he is burning in hell.
      so take a hike with your false religion out of here.
      you will not understand him or anyone else who knows this life not worth living.

  • @bonnielizarraga7941
    @bonnielizarraga7941 Před 8 měsíci

    I hope you feel relief from your life I feel you are Genuine, but you are tortured soul. I pray that you find some peace in your heart.

  • @Alexandrius_Caesar
    @Alexandrius_Caesar Před 4 lety +3

    The fact that he felt better when he worked out suggests to me that his perception of pain was an obsessive component of his anxiety. As if, his imagining of the pain was so intense that it manifested itself as real, tangible pain. What a horrible disease. Rest easy big guy.

  • @lonepheasant3489
    @lonepheasant3489 Před 20 hodinami

    Me too

  • @aquious953
    @aquious953 Před 6 lety +2

    I wish you had a chance to try transcranial magnetic stimulation. It’s supposed to help. I’m going to try it.

  • @bibipersian7396
    @bibipersian7396 Před 5 lety +1

    I feel the same! It hurts so bad:'(

  • @KennyPowersGaming
    @KennyPowersGaming Před 7 lety +4

    I wonder why he never tried the burn victim treatment where they shock the brain to shut off the pain receptors.

    • @kitten_purrrs73
      @kitten_purrrs73 Před 7 lety +7

      Kenny & Kast maybe because the pain he had came from a mental stand point ....not a physical one .. so no med for pain or treatment would help. Its in his head and not coming from an injury site where our pain receptors are signalled ... I hope that makes sense ....it really is hard to understand and I had studied this and chronic pain .... I also suffer with this after having an injury and now I still feel that injury even tho it's not there anymore ..... I get weekly injections of freezing in the nerves with little relief but have tried even high doses of pain meds that block pain receptors and still the pain is there ... almost like how the brain is with phantom pain after we lose a body part ......how do you treat pain that is coming from no where but the mind but is VERY real pain.

    • @kadrimamud377
      @kadrimamud377 Před 4 lety

      sounds horrible

  • @nipudas1771
    @nipudas1771 Před 4 lety +2

    Good man.

  • @micahlaco412
    @micahlaco412 Před 7 lety +3

    The medication, Gabapentin itself is chemically bound to increase the suicidal tendencies of anyone who is taking it, which really did not give any benefits to AMC as he tries to find a way out or to live with his psychosomatic pain. Rest well AMC.

    • @ConfusingClarity
      @ConfusingClarity Před 5 lety +2

      Absolutely true. I take Gabapentin myself. The only reason I take is because I ended up with severe neuropathy after a former psychiatrist tried to take me off of Lorazepam too quickly, which resulted in extreme electric jolts in my body and caused protracted nerve pain from then on. In vulnerable population, benzodiazepines, SSRI's, TCA's, neuroleptics and anti-convulsants can trigger some of these conditions that either never existed or there was a genetic predisposition for. Taking mental health drugs and coming off of them is a serious business that even doctors don't have answers for. I think high potency benzodiazepines are particularly able to cause some severe, protracted and just plain bizarre problems that can be diagnosed as just about anything. But yes, Gabapentin can increase depression. Raising the dosage can increase depression, and so can lowering the dosage. One can get symptoms such as rage, mania, convulsions and rapit hearbeat and increase in blood pressure when coming off of Gabapentin. Whatever the combination of pharmaceuticals in what order literally caused his brain and body to be on fire, and only a severely depression-causing drug Gabapentin could ease his pain.

    • @colorfulcodes
      @colorfulcodes Před 5 lety +2

      Not for most. Its one of the only drugs that works for those with neuropathy. Better than agonizing 24/7 pain.

  • @samsinclair4123
    @samsinclair4123 Před 8 lety +13

    Hi Adam! I'm dealing with severe anxiety. I'd love to connect with you if you feel comfortable!

    • @TheRichie213
      @TheRichie213 Před 7 lety +10

      I think he's dead

    • @jasminflower3814
      @jasminflower3814 Před 7 lety

      TheRichie213. RIP ;-(

    • @craigseamus4335
      @craigseamus4335 Před 7 lety +5

      he didnt have anxiety per se.....he was dealing with physical pain. but i think with his brilliant mind he could have realigned his neural pathways ....thats what i do.... it seems to help.

    • @dthomaswilliamson33
      @dthomaswilliamson33 Před 7 lety

      Sam Sinclair he ain't here no more

    • @MrHoleemolee
      @MrHoleemolee Před 6 lety

      Sam Sinclair hey Sam....I have really extreme anxiety and am finding it difficult to get help with the mental health team, i survive everyday in pain and discomfort, I've learnt to deal with it. I just wish i could get a real diagnosis and gain the right help. I see you wanted to contact Adam but as you probably know by now he took his own life bless him. I would be willing to talk to you if you would like lol...we could compare our experiences ...my names Lee ☺☺☺

  • @blaeck_kitty8149
    @blaeck_kitty8149 Před rokem

    Feel so sorry for you

  • @johnbasteen2909
    @johnbasteen2909 Před 8 lety

    What kind of camera are you using, homie? Your videos look really tight!

  • @nickknowles8402
    @nickknowles8402 Před 10 měsíci +1

    You arent missing anything man, it really doesnt get better when you have all those mental illnesses. I attest to that. Rip

  • @POPDATA
    @POPDATA Před 6 lety +1

    2:08 but that wont be the last workout of your life you have 6 days left on the week to do it again

  • @xx_sugarcube_xx8170
    @xx_sugarcube_xx8170 Před rokem +1

    I rarely speak to anyone online and barely anyone in my family except my parents and sister comfortably I wish I could be left alone 😅😅
    Help meh lol

  • @OZMus
    @OZMus Před 11 měsíci

    What did you do at the bank that required tie and cufflinks? Cufflinks are usually suit acoutrement... I might be straight jacket special but you don't strike me as el banco MGMT by any means.

  • @nekeb5421
    @nekeb5421 Před rokem +1

    RIP 🙏

  • @dpstkdqq403
    @dpstkdqq403 Před 4 lety +2

    I feel u🥺

  • @HEaRealNowhereMan
    @HEaRealNowhereMan Před 7 lety +4

    Strong Relaxing type medical marijuana might have somewhat helped or a Strong Opioid pain medication.

  • @cmazz_318
    @cmazz_318 Před rokem

    I can relate. Enduring is exhausting. I wish there was relief for him and others who suffer silently. Unfortunately, it has been less then successful in combating my symptoms. The one thing I will mention to anyone who is reading... Everything is FINITE, even suffering. You can beat or be beaten with endurance. You are important and you are strong to me. You can and you will fight the best you can.

    • @cmazz_318
      @cmazz_318 Před rokem

      Rest easy man.

    • @tendiesoffmyplate9085
      @tendiesoffmyplate9085 Před rokem

      Small fiber neuropathy (non-diabetic)
      Spinal Stenosis
      Ankylosing spondylitis
      Three illnesses that can't be overcome with "endurance"

  • @hussainn734
    @hussainn734 Před 4 lety +1

    Im a lil late but god bless you bro.

  • @williamquantrill9076
    @williamquantrill9076 Před 5 lety +1

    let the poor fella sleep in the gym, he just wants to work out, why does work out have to last 1 hour... cmon guys...