ALIEN INVASION - Terrible Writing Advice
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- čas přidán 26. 09. 2016
- I, for one, welcome our alien overlords. You can read my real thoughts on Alien Invasion stories here: jpbeaubien.com/terrible-writin...
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Actually, the aliens' first target is the protagonist's home town. Then they move on to landmarks.
Yeah,no matter if it's a big city,a small village,or straight up nowhere,obvious the aliens must attack the protagonist's home first
@@nmheath03 Or they must attack/abduct/kill-but-not-really-dead someone they love, i.e. the parent/s, the girlfriend...
I mean, Mars Needs Moms was a _great_ film! It had _stunning_ CGI and was _loved_ by everyone! And it did exactly that!
666 likes, you're cursed!
winter1235 unless it’s doomguy then it’s necessary to try and take him out first at home
would it be cool to have sci-fi where aliens 'attack' us, but it's more to push certain values? they wouldn't want to destroy us, but instead enforce their version of morality, for example
“Hollywood doesn’t know the first thing about real hacking despite them employing hack writers.”
I’ll need to remember that piece of brilliance.
you're comment has 666 likes, I'm gonna fuck it up to be an asshole
Independence Day was great. How convenient was it that an advanced alien society was running windows 99 or something? I think Microsoft really overlooked that operating system's potential.
@@roberteischen4170 I don't know, as far as a hail mary to beat aliens vastly superior then us goes, it's probably the most realistic.
Those aliens were a hive mind if I remember correctly, which means that they don't need to worry about computer security for any type of domestic operation. Obviously, they have no criminals and therefore no hackers.
And then you have to consider that human computer technology is probably 1,000 years ahead compared to our other technology. And then there's the fact we had access to that one ship already and so had time to figure out how it works.
The whole thing is still far fetched, but I don't think it's as bad as people make it out to be.
Did you mean: Star Trek discovery?
@@roberteischen4170 there was a deleted scene where it was revealed that the virus worked on the aliens computers because ours was based on theirs. Why this was cut I’m unshure but id imagine it would be due to corporate shit assuming that the audience was dumb
Aliens in movies:
Planet earth is made out of USA
Alternate Option: all countries except the usa have alienitis and get destroyed upon seeing aliens
not even the whole us just new york and dc so since i live in conneticut ill be safe
@@johnmonroe8557 I live in Chicago so I may be safe
What about London, Tokyo and Paris
@@fios4528 agree
Freeman is able to singlehandedly destroy two different invading alien races because he's wearing literal plot armor
elbowgreese in The first game. Sure thats quite The plot armor. But in The second its more good timeing. The combine werent in armies and had only one Base basicly. Its more belivable that humanity could win.
Corporal Shephard also carved a bloody swath through Xenian aliens, Race X, and CIA death squads, albiet while wearing a military version of the same plot arnor.
Plus, it's pretty clear how the combine were able to take over the world so fast: they could literally teleport anywhere they want.
In tactical terms, that's basically cheating.
The point is that the majority of the aliens were slaves or wild animals. And the sucess of Freeman was the help of a misteryous person, wooooo, G-Maaaaaannnn, woooooo.
No he is able to do it CUZ HE IS GORDON MOTHERFUCKING FREEMAN AND HE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT
Well obviously the aliens want to build a superhighway, and Earth is in the way.
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
Gotta love Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
Locke Lamora Don't blame them if you don't take an interest in local politics.
Or a wall
mini2239 Get out of here
Or you could just defeat the alien mother ship, the main weakness of all alien invaders.
yes its not like they can make another and keep some in case of THE BIGGEST INVASION OF ALL
@@mat8791 No that wouldn't work because once the mother ship is destroyed all of the aliens die. DUH!
@@_tykee Oh no
Yo, cause destroying an airport will cause all the planes to fall lol
HotLine Sanzensekai Destroying the Mothership would work... sort of, not only that it’s a flagship of the alien fleet, but it could either deploy smaller ships, and when the mothership is destroyed, no reinforcements. Or if the mothership is basically a carrier that doesn’t deploy ships but aircraft and vehicles, destroying it would lead the alien forces to retreat if it depends if their leader was inside or not.
Aliens: Hey look, form of life that is thousands of years behind us. Let's attack them without reason and loose to inferior technology
Probably the more intelligent aliens would see us just like we see animals, so they probably would try to study our physionomy, behavior and other things.
@@hekaterinedragon8776 I mean, duh? Be original, don't literally copy reality into your story's plot
I'm getting day sha vu from that si-fi weapons episode.
Ah, yes, the Emu War gambit
There is a good reason to attack: the exponential nature of technology. The best course of action is to completely destroy any civilisation you found, just because they might develop the ability to do the same to you at any point. Even if the chances are near 0, it's an existential threat so it cannot be risked.
You can also just have Mary Sue look the Alien Leader in the eyes and tell him that what he's doing is wrong. He then withdraws the entire alien army and goes back to his own galaxy because he was moved by her wise words and sweet innocent specialness.
Sounds good lol you made an X men arc premise where ppl freak out after Mary Sue counters the invasion with hypnosis and magic and send her to study under Pr Xavier :)
Destroyer Inazuma idk what you're saying it's nothing like X-Men lol
The X-men get into space awfully often for some stupid reason, but beyond that I don't get it either.
lol101lol101lol10199 Mary sue is a sexist stereotype
It's not about sexism, it's about being a super special snowflake for no reason, especially when the author... I mean Narrator, has done everything in their power to describe how average, normal attractiveness, regular, boring, same-old same-old the Chosen One is. Which is common to many teen literature books. The fact that this character is so often a teen girl is staggering, but there's no other way to shoehorn in a love triangle with two uber masculine men and Miss Blends-Into-The-Crowd-But-Is-The-Only-One-That-Can-Save-Us-And- Keep-The-Darkness-Inside-The-Broody-Love-Interest-From-Taking- Over. If you want the gender flipped version, go find a Marty Stu. That main character is just as stupidly cliched and boring and awful.
Cities? Plural?
Screw that, too much effort.
Just take it to New York. Smash up lady liberty a bit more.
No. You have to at least also ram off the tip of the Washington Monument with your giant mothership. It is absolutely imperative.
Professor Cupcake come on, no worldwide invasion can occur without at least a couple of shots of the Eiffel Tower.
None of you seem to understand that the Golden Gate Bridge is the headquarters of the worldleaders. Targeting that will make the entire world fall into disarray.
NOPE. All you have to do is get the lining tower of pizza, then we're good.
Don’t forget the Pyramids and the Colosseum too.
Edit: On second thought, don’t let them attack anywhere but the USA!
I conceptualized a story where someone from another planet escapes to earth. He was labeled a criminal in the planet he came from, so inhabitants of that planet followed him to earth. Instead of wiping away cities I actually wrote in the scenario list “Cue government having talks with alien government regarding an extraterrestrial criminal”.
Thanks for the terrible writing advice!
That's pretty close to the plot of Lilo and Stitch
When you realize Transformers actually has better "intelligent aliens" that blackmail humans and manipulate governments than most pure "alien invasion" movies...
there is an episode of south park with a similiar plot
No no no, don't you realise that there shouldn't peace between aliens and human despite the more story opportunities. No clearly they must all clearly evil./s
@@marschma That's mostly because the Transformer and Decepticons received more characterisation than: evil alien bad guy.
"Hollywood doesn't know anything about hacking despite them employing hack writers"
So savage
In fairness, "rushing to invade without doing proper research" is a common mistake that many historical forces have made in the past, oftentimes out of arrogance for one's alleged superiority.
IE forgetting it gets in cold in the winter time in Russia.
Nah, they knew, they just did not care that their conscripted peasant army freeze to death, but forget that frozen dead peasants make a terrible fighting force.
School textbooks are just "A country did this because A leader was heroic/stupid/evil, country B did this.
This will obviously bore children they don't get the mental stimulation of good history or teaching. We have to wait for The Great Courses to teach good.
They didn't forget it was cold, and it wasn't exactly uncaring, they just though the would capture Moscow and force a surrender before winter hit.
Gerald: That was one case, but I have heard several other similar stories. Some with the army send out in a blizzard in summer uniforms. The best excuse was that wars were traditionally fought in summer or spring, so it was the default uniform.
Mary Sue and her love triangle is the solution to everything
saarah0006 Mary sue will save the universe
Mary Sue will adopt 37 orphans and get by with her crippling debt through the kindness of her heart
The Love Triangle is the most powerful energy source in the universe!
Now you're getting it.
Mimi I always thought it was an ultra powerful boomerang, cuz it keeps coming back
In Peter Jackson's _Bad Taste,_ the aliens were working for an evil space corporation and came to hunt humans for our exotic meat so they could put their competition out of business.
*You see actually thinking of a story in alien movies is a waste of time*
Huh, maybe those aliens came from Abe's Odyssey?
Hey doc what's up
Yeah that sounds about right. Just look at where most skeletons in medical schools and museums come from.
@@battlion507Human meat tastes better than scrab cakes trust me
This is like Overly Sarcastic Productions’ Trope Talk, only more sarcastic.
They should swap names. It'd work.
@@FishfaceTheDestroyer While title of "Overy Sarcastic Production" would fit J.P. content, calling Red's Troupe Talks "Terribly Writing Advice" would not.
As shitty of a movie as The 5th Wave was, I gotta give the aliens props for using emps, orbital bombardment, and disease to attack humanity's weak points instead of a dumb uncoordinated ground assault.
But thats boring, instead lets add a Love Triangle!!
Yea and infiltrating our militaries.
In most alien invasion scenarios I wonder why the aliens use such obviously ineffective tactics... When I read the 5th wave book(but never finished it) I actually wondered why they were going to such extraordinary lengths to exterminate humanity. I mean yikes, just thinking about trying to survive the different death waves was depressing.
"For some reason the aliens want to eat us in spite of deadly biochemical barriers. Just make sure they don't discover the wide array domesticated species that have far more meat on them and that don't have assault rifles."
And can be bred in sufficient numbers far more readily than humans.
Or -- the aliens live, on average, one thousand Earth years and have metabolisms slow enough for us be a food source. Thus raising the question of why billions of humans can't defeat giants whose every action is proportionally slower than ours. Yes, that means it can take full day for one to fart.
also they seem to like brains...are they space zombies or something?
Make sure they also have no difficulty adjusting to the gravity and air and bacteria and even things like how humans have shaped the world around them and how things can be different for the aliens. They must look different and and what not, but they definitely react to and perceive light and sound the exact same way we do, and will have no issue with overall adjusting to a new planet and the way it was shaped.
Or nukes
15-30 feral hogs should satisfy the aliens
"Too many bored mammals with nukes". And that is the instant I subscribed
This video gives me an idea.
Have the aliens try to invade the magic school from the other episode.
Fireball vs. Ray Gun.
Have the aliens from independance day invade earth,which leads to the wizarding world mobilise and wage a shadow war against them before being ultimately revealed to the rest of humanity.Now that could be a good story.
You just made Wizards vs Aliens, and that's a TERRIBLE show.
No I was looking at Raygun vs scythe that can fold into a 50bmg sniper with little to no muzzle brake used by a 15 yr old who can somehow wield it effectively protected by some bs biological shielding and plot armour
@@crusaderiii477 How it would be if Aliens appear in a wolrd like The magium CYOA game where some people are extremly powerful in magic? I think maybe seem like Warframe to me
I was talking about RWBY but okay.
If the Aliens are successful then they would exploit that very powerful magic.
If not then the ppl being invaded would exploit and steal alien tech and put it for use against its former masters.
"the aliens were defeated by a race so stupid they can't even make to to Mars" XD too good
In fairness we can we just don't have any reason to.
There are plans to sent people to mars by 2030!
there are plenty of reasons to go to mars, and we are making progress
it's just that we're not too good at staying friendly with each other long enough to make continuous progress for more than a few decades
Romulus Numa,
"Because its there." Reason enough.
Further explainable: technological advance (every solution to getting there and staying there only pushes humanity forward), inspiration for the next generation (You can do this too), defeating Humanity's greatest foe, complacency ("Idle hands are the Devil's hands.").
Apparently non of those reason are good enough I agree about your first reason but the people with the money and the skills to make it happen need better reason.
Let's not forget the movie 'Signs'. Where we have a race with advanced interstellar technology but they don't use any of it in their invasion. And the planet they choose to invade is covered by, what is to them, the most toxic substance in the Universe.
I always wonder if the aliens from Signs were actually participating in a planet wide frat hazing where they force alien pledges to strip naked and go to Earth to prank humans. Aliens who survive get to join the alien fraternity.
So Joaquin Pheonix's bat was a frat paddle
OK you win the internet!
There are so many possible explanations for it though. What if it was just a small scouting mission? What if these were desperate outcast or survivor aliens? The aliens leave almost right away for good reason.
That's actually a really funny theory; why else would you invade a planet covered in the equivalent of acid in the nude?
"I have yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet."
- Mikhail 'Misha' Kharkiv
Makes you respect the game Homeworld. Ok, it's not about "humans" and "Earth" but the motives of the evil aliens is still unlike anything described in this video. For unknown reasons, one race was exiled to a single world, after millennia they forgot and rediscovered warp travel, which pissed the bad aliens off something fierce, who then decided to just wipe the exiles out completely. And they very nearly did. After like a day, the entire planet was slag, leaving only a single colony ship as the only survivors.
And then said race started their journey of reverse-engineering, resource-gathering, ship-building, trading with more advanced neutral-aligned aliens and, of course, stealing everything that's not nailed (if it is nailed, they'll steal the nails first and the rest second). SALVAGE EVERYTHING YOU ENCOUNTER!!!
steamuserimages-a.akamaihd.net/ugc/45371814578249499/0846C2547496CC983D8AAEB334BCB45849F33F99/
I'm reminded of an old super robot anime called Daimos, wherein the alien invaders wanted to pursue peaceful relations with Earth and then a couple racist dickbags cocked the whole thing up by killing the alien king during a diplomatic meeting. And then it became Romeo and Juliet but with karate, aliens, and giant robots.
That’s actually a good-sounding story!
Bro that sounds awesome aside from the whole karate thing, I can't imagine an alien that probably has different anatomy than us being able to karate kick someone
Duothimir it reminded me of this Alternate history book where aliens invade Earth during WW2, taking both sides perspectives on their goals, logistics and tactics throughout
@@theawkwardskeleton6608 Harry Turtledove?
Joe Hayes yes that one
You forgot one important detail,
Make sure to give your aliens the ability to disguise themselves as humans, so you don't have to think of a unique design for them
I just thought of that.
And their disguises are really crappy, allowing the heroes to immediately recognized them while the other 7 billion people on the planet are too stupid to realize that human eyes don't have sideways lids (or whatever).
The aliens, being as intelligent as they would have to be to conquer the vastness of space, would probably be smart enough to disguise themselves as human. This doesn't seem lazy so much as accurate.
I know! That drives me crazy!
As I wrote before, starfish aliens are not exactly the best aliens for your alien story. It is not that there are not good stories wirh starfish aliens in it but humanoid aliens are the most common aliens portrayed because they are, for human standards, relatable to us.
you forgot when they bring a planet sized spaceship, to blow up a entire city, and then in the sequel the same city is completely clean, fixed, and untouched.
*not to mention the gravitational effects such a craft would have on earth and the tides long before it got near the moon...let alone much closer*
Don't forget having your advanced alien soldiers showing up completely naked, somehow not registering their crippling allergy to a chemical substance found on 70% of the Earth's surface.
Nice "Signs" film roast
i for once accept our new poorly written overlords
ido m I think invading is for no reason is fine. Why would the aliens tell us there reasons we probably wouldn't understand them. They could just want to blow up the planet for the same reason people shot up a school
I understand that *bUt oF cOUrsE THey'RE MotIVEs MUst bE KnOwN
Was that rock a Pokemon reference (Geodude)?
Hello, Kent Brockman!
@@daraghokane4236 Theirs a difference between enough of a motive for one crazy guy and enough of a motive for an entire species.
The most deadly weapon of all time: The Crowbar.....
Royal 97 Gordon Freeman-Senpai Approved: Rekt Aliens since 1997
Yeah, but the aliens conquer earth anyway. Maybe he should have used that assault rifle more often after all.
Or maybe he shouldn't have trusted the magic suit man who trapped him in a contract to not take advantage of an alien invasion for space cash.
and according to Gordon Freeman's bio, he never picked up a gun until the *incident* at Black Messa, i call bs on that *fact*
Nerd Here Where does it say that? He at least used one in the H.E.V. Hazard Course (tutorial).
when you realize that your video game plot is literally the exact advice given in this video
4:23 Fun fact- the canon excuse for this is that the Combine of Half-Life 2 aren't actually what invaded - they're the equivalent of just leaving a squad or two at a base while the rest of the army goes off elsewhere - it's a token force designed just to acquire humans and human technology.
I'm so pissed off. I wrote a tale about an alien invasion and then found out afterwards, that an author had already written a short-story with the EXACT same plot and twist at the end in 1954. Lickily I have another plot for a story about hostile aliens lying around here somewhere. So now I can weave both stories together to a new and hopefully original idea. Goddamnit! I feel like Prof. Chaos/Butters.
@@whatsyourname9581 what are those?
Invader zim is the greatest alien invasion story ever.
sexybunnyxox it made me so happy to read this :')
"You! Obey the fist!"
War of the worlds coming in at a close second in my opinion.
Nothing beats that good old cartoon
I wholeheartedly agree.
"Not enough minerals. We require more vespine gas."
Construct additional Pylons
Nuclear launch detected...
WHERE IS YOUR SECOND PYLON
YOur buildings are under attack
I need you to construct additional Pylons
to be fair Gordon Freeman has a reality bending superbeing helping him along the way
My biggest issue with a lot of alien invasion stories is thematic inconsistency when it comes to the ability of humans to fight back.
If an extraterrestrial civilization is capable of crushing humanity like a human might crush ants, then it really shouldn't be overcome by some relatively simple new strategy.
THIS is why Arrival is so good. Instead of "yay lasers!", they actually put thought into a complex story exploring what communication between a human and alien race would look like.
And then threw all that intriguing bullshit out in favour of a fairly generic "personal drama." God I hated Arrival's second half, the film shifted focus completely away from what was unique and interesting just to go into a drama about loss that we've seen in tons of movies, except this time with a space magic language.
If arrival were a tv show it wouldn't need the personal drama of a main character, a movie does.
Imitation Infinity Imagine if the asari discovered humanity first in mass effect? I wanna know their reaction on hpw similar humans look to themselves.
You are very right. It was like if Independence day was lobotomized for good, you know, like if Independence day had more intelelctual writers.
Fanatic Xenophobia + Militarist
Sci-fi 101: Everything revolves around humanity.
What do you mean about that? We, humans, create sci-fi, create literature and other things! Don't you see?...not, I am not joking. We are the ones who create those things, why aliens would do it?
Oh god the entire human race is a Mary Sue?!
Hey, I don't know if you know this, but HUMANS write sci-fi.
McJimmie The Brave that’s what they want us to think
@@plantain.1739 that doesn't mean everything has to revolve around humans
See: the ending of War of the Worlds
Actually, "run in and start shooting" is also a valid plot if the invaders are advanced enough. Although in this case it's very hard to resolve the story without a deus ex machina (unless it's grimdark and humans just lose).
In any case, nowadays it's hard to find an alien story about actual aliens, like a zombie story about actual zombies. The titular plot point is just a backdrop for another boring slog through relationships, love and betrayal (oh my!).
One possible resolve (that most definitely won't ruin any seriousness of the story lol :D) is that the aliens have the stupidest weakness possible that is something very mundane to us, they are scared of domestic cats or farts or something equally dumb that the main character coincidentally happens to see scare them and then utilizes it to drive the aliens away for all eternity :D
@@hillomunkkiseni or what about garlic being a addictive drug to them that makes them meth addicts
@@Bruh-hq1hx ayyy I get the reference. Harry Turtledove?? World war series??
My least favorite alien trope is the hive mind thing where you kill one massive alien and the rest of them just stop or die or something along those lines. It makes for an easy climax but it’s so overused
These videos are actually inspiring, every time I think of a story I get so demotivated because of what I see is popular. And here you are, parodying everything I hate about the popular film/book industry.
I guess I should write short stories idk...
You should! There's no harm in trying. If it's not that good, then you can improve and learn from mistakes. And _everyone_ is sick and tired of the tropes in popular stories. (apart from the idiots who think it's a good idea to keep writing them) So at the end of the day, it will always be worth it if you come up with an original story that doesn't rely on cliches, convienences and dues ex machina to progress the plot.
tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TropesAreTools
tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/JustForFun/TheTropelessTale
Same! Kinda, I use cliches and take a completely different turn
Using tropes doesn't necessarily mean an unoriginal story. It's more about how they're used. There are examples of works that used several/most tropes of their genre and still ended up as rather original stories.
I think it's impossible to not fall in some of these mistakes, at least a bit.
the love triangle? phhttt mortal fools I have conquered in my writing skills the power of a love quadecahedrin
Fourteen sides. The question is, is it sides, corners, or edges that apply as people. A Quadecahedron (I think it's called something else, but whatever.) is three dimensional.
Totallynot Apuffball I only go for 5th dimensional love quaddodecahedren
LOVE TESSERACT
As I recall, isn't that either just a fuckboy with a bunch of oblivious girls, or an anime harem?
YOU ALL SUCK! I've already writen a story about my love rhombicosidodecahedron! That's 120 edges of pure story telling gold!
"By species so stupid they can't make it to mars" Damn son, that burn...
We could make it to Mars, it's just that no one wants to pay the bill to do it.
@@peytonmac1131 well not nobody there is elon
@@peytonmac1131 Which might be even dumber.
We could but people in power don't get their money back soon enough in the form of profit so they don't fund it
Op too late, we got stuff sent to Mars already, and planning on sending people to Mars. Which is uh... something I guess,
“By a species that can’t even make it to mars”
SpaceX: “Hold my rockets.”
Gordon Freeman can kill dozens of aliens with a crowbar because he's simply that awesome. Too bad he can't defeat the enemy of "Valve giving up on making games anymore"...
We need Deadpool to reach out to him and have them together smack Valve with a crowbar.
The Combine actually planted agents in Valve in order to ensure that Half Life never received a conclusion, thus sealing their dominance forever.
ShinGallon HL3 confirmed as a card game
To be fair, he only uses the crowbar when out of ammo, and he does have an awesome prototype of a hazard suit with its own personal shield.
And that the aliens were just animals weating each other and slaves.
"Attacking Earth for spamming out crappy CZcams videos."
Well that's a pretty good plot right there, TBH
And that's a good reason for all alien movies to be based in the US. We need jake out
@Isaac Phillips well, jefree star isn't in England lol
Given the way EM radiation works over interstellar distances, our broadcast media gets lost in the background static of the galaxy. A civilization around the next star over may never know about douche bag CZcams influencers, giving them one less reason to invade and/or destroy Earth.
And resisting the YT overlords for deleting our comments and banning us for no reason!
So much injustice to be wrestled with!
I wanna see an alien invasion story where they just infiltrate human society and slowly start taking it over, but leaving one minour flaw that alerts the protagonist to their existence. They investigate and begin learning more and more about this invasion, being maddened by what they see, and when they reveal their evidence, they're committed to a psych ward and forgotten about, but leaving everyone else with the question "was he telling the truth?"
they live comes close to that, but that movie is communist propaganda.
SCP-3994
The original Transformers cartoon did the "aliens want our resources" thing better. The Decepticons couldn't leave on their own, and their goal was to build their ship and leave.
I agree, the "alien coexistence" story would be fascinating to read, assuming the aliens aren't Star Trek aliens. Have them be truly alien aliens that have entirely different ethical systems, not in a "violence good, peace bad" sort of way, but just truly weird and beyond human understanding. Or, better yet, have several sentient-sapient technologically advanced alien species coexisting on a planet or in several star systems, and let the HUMANS be the colonial invading power, while at the same time making their moral stance neutral enough that they're not simply space nazis.
Or have the humans being the technologically advance ones, and wanting to bring JEEBUS AND ENGLASH to the "non-humans" and make them "civilised". Essentially modern day colonisation and cultural expansion
Doesn't work out, aliens and humans compete in the Sapient ecological niche, which means WAR almost 100% of the time. We require the same resources as any other sapient species because sapient species uses all of existence to spread themselves. Every resource is needed, meaning that every resource is in competition. While we may be able to trade for a while, eventually one or the other will need more resources and be forced to compete for it or go extinct - like all the other species of humans that have all died out.
The movie Arrival is all about that. At least not the entire film industry is comprised of brain dead morons.
@@therandomhat_ bringing Jesus to natives with military power so it would have to be a rougue human religious order
@@GodActio Honestly that is not really true for two reasons: 1. Our solar system alone has enough resources to support trillions of humans for billions of years. Assuming that we are not able to recycle. 2. The distance makes war pointless. If we don‘t invent a method to travel faster than light (which isn‘t possible) or create portals (which is unlikely) war would be absolutely useless. You can‘t fight something that is literally hundreds of lightyears away from you and why would you? There is no point in doing that. Allocation of resources? Why? It is so far away, transporting stuff from there to us is incredibly inefficient.
And I think your understanding of sapience and the evolutionary processes that bring it about is very limited. Sapience is the result of superior sociability. A species not basing their existence on collaboration is never going to be able to become sapient. Drawing from that it seems unlikely that we won‘t be able to prevent a war, if it were possible.
Every time I watch these videos I get happy because I realise my stories are not like them at all
Christepher Johnson Oh no
Link to your stories pls, I wanna read them
+The Anonymous Sir Backspace better than one of my characters, which has the personality of a polysterine block
girom, okay, so is that in the since of he doesn't speak, he speaks in clipped, short and direct manner, what? if so then you can make up a reason for it
+The Anonymous Sir Backspace Another one of mine is a female Gordon Freeman (minus the power armor) but with a prosthetic right hand and with Blascowicz's height and endurance to getting stabbed, shot, burned and mutilated
“MOOT MAR WOOT WORT!”
- Sangheili before assisting in religion fueled genocide.
*crying in Halo: Reach’s unappreciated somber and grim story that advertised itself according but gets shit on for no reason*
Seriously though- best final words of any character-
“LIEUTENANT! Get aboard, gotta get the hell out of here!”
“Negative sir- I have the gun. “
“Good luck to you, Spartan”
I like this human, HE understands!
The game wasn't shit on for no reason. It was an okay story that replaced and decanonized a better one: the book.
The game also acted like a sequel with all sorts of advanced tech and additions to the lore that raised so many questions on why we wouldn't have seen or known about any of that stuff in the trilogy, oftentimes in a completely eyerolling, hamfisted way. The game didn't present itself like a prequel at all and it was very disorienting.
Beyond that, Reach had numerous problems as a game, especially in terms of PvP balance.
In the end it was an okay game with an okay, watered down story with a self insert character. Not exactly groundbreaking.
Corinus Richen because master chief wasn’t a self insert for the player, right?
Reach had its problems, but the game is about the planet reach. The narrative is about Reach. The Spartans you fight with and the Spartan you are happen to be the vehicles that we use to explore reach up until her final days.
To be fair, in Half Life Gordon Freeman is beating up the occupation force. All of the Combine's good troops are at the frontlines, with only a small core left on earth.
Still better than Pixels.
Crystal Gem still better than Independence day
Pooop Shenron *resurgence
The Nerd Show Independence day was still bad
I like Josh Gad tho
Crystal Gem I love your profile pic.
*VAPID,VAGUE PUN TITLE*
*ATTACK OF THE LOVE TRIANGLES*
Why have a love triangle...
*WHEN YOU CAN HAVE A LOVE DODECAHEDRON?*
Megumin and why have a love dodecahedron when you can have a love rhombicosidodecahedron?
Love *TESSERACT*
obviously, it should be a love *FRACTAL*
Hey hey hey don't you even dare bring Gordan Freeman into that he has a power-suit and a shortgun
And a Headhumper Yeet-O-Matic 5000.
To be fair, during the events of half life 2 gordon basically fights off the police and not the military forces of the combine.
See, we can make to mars, we have plans, it would just take
A: 5 years
B: more money than anyone has
Nah. It just requires more willpower and attention span than anyone currently has. We could easily get to Mars if we spent ~1% of the US discretionary budget on it.
while we can get to mars what is the point of going there?
Another basket with which we can split the load of all these eggs.
This is not gonna work because people on mars cannot survive on their own.
Maybe they could grow potatoes or build some primitive huts but they cannot produce computers, complex chemicals drugs and other stuff vital for survival in the mars environment.
deltaxcd define "primitive huts"
also just because they moved on to mars doesnt mean we earth resident would leave them completely alone
"We require more vespene gas."
...Wrong alien species there. Wrong alien species.
Not enough minerals.
"...but Hollywood doesn't know the first thing about real hacking, despite them employing hack writers."
Lol
My favorite line: "but Hollywood doesn't know the first thing about real hacking despite them employing hack writers"
Brilliant.
Those aliens never stood a chance against the power of love. *THE PLOT DEMANDS IT.*
The best example of Aliens with Motives are the Covenant from Halo,With their Destroy All Humans! Kind of Attitude
Arent they like religios fanatics, but instad of blowing them selfs up they blow human ships up.
never really thought the religious dogma bullshit was really that original or inspired. In real life religious crusades usually have alot more going on behind the sceans then simply "kill the infidel" and even when it is that simple the people in charge who started the whole thing usually don't believe their own bullshit, and have some personal gain involved.
Some of the best example for alien invasion were in hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, where earth and its inhabitants were treated as a source of amusement up until the planets destruction because we were in the path of a hyperspace bypass.
Another example was in star ship troopers, the book, not the piece of crap movie. There were actually numerous races, and the war with the bugs was over a political disagreement. We were actually on freindly terms with them before that.
Enders game, the bugs didn't realize they were killing sentient individuals.
And the greatest sci fi masterpiece ever Babylon 5, where an ancient race called the shadows started a massive civil war among the younger species before personally decimating our numbers because they were firm believers in evolution through adversity. Basically prolonged piece leads to society stagnating, where as conflict forces people to rise to their fullest potential.
then of course you have beings like the outer gods who consider our little corner of the galaxy to be nothing more than a giant anthill thats siting in their path.
oh and then there was Micheal Creighton's Andromeda strain. where the invading alien was a bacteria that fucked us up because we lacked any natural immunity to it.
I thought i was the only person speaking of halo to the people in the comments!
yes, halo has great enemies, until H4+ but i won't cover them.....f'n promethiens
actually, your right kyriss12, the shan'shium (prophets) don't believe that the humans are infedels, but that they may be the forerunners, and this would DESTROY their religious and political control of the Covenant forces, explained in Contact Harvest, and their tactics are deadly, only because of their technology, but even then they replicate tech, not innovate, and humanity actually did some pretty cool stuff (Admiral Whitcomb handing the covies a bomb set to blow while they research the mysterious device) the orbital mac guns, though my big complaint is: how do batteries on the ground power in orbit mac cannons? oh, and the deaths of locklear and polaski
Well,in Halo the reason humanity is targeted is the main aliens found out humanity kind of have demi-god blood in them (like,where made by their gods they worshiped) so,they more or less convinced the other aliens humanity are evil.So,they will not be questioned.
That being said,thought Halo 4 and 5 where humanity is getting the "Chosen to rule all" shit. You cant really blame the new covenant for being scared of this new manifest destiny. So,much so even the Chief is helping them.
tbf in Half Life 2, its obvious you are basically just taking on a Garrison Force on Earth. The real combine army that conquered it is offworld conquering more planets.
I like the idea of an alien invasion that is essentially botched so it fails (but only barely) and the aliens just send a bigger army next time.
"Yay we defeated the invasion! Wait, what's that on the edge of the solar system?"
Me,after playing too much Mindustry: i am gonna commit Foreshadow and Meltdown spam
Fee idea: Rather than having the cliche alien look, do this. In the future, humanity has attained faster than light travel, but it is super expensive, they've found few habitable worlds, and communication between earth and the spacecraft is impossible. Thus after landing on another world far from our own, they see the first intelligent extraterrestrial life. Ourselves. Upon landing on an alien world, they discover a world populated with human beings. Cut off from earth, our protagonists must deal with the complex implications this has for science, religion, and humanity.
Disregarding the interactions you mention between them, that's a lot like Superman and the Kryptonians, if I remember correctly.
awesome astronaut it's the same way that we have yet to contact isolated tribes.. perhaps we are one of those tribes, but in a grander scale
That sounds really awesome
That sounds a bit like the Great Crusade, as the God Emperor of Mankind set out to reclaim the lost human colonies.
So, a species that made contact with its descendants? That sounds a little weird but promising.
i want to see a story where its the plain girl + 2 hunky boy love triangle vs the loner with military grade weapons and a crowbar from the male oriented audience.
Ten bucks on a crowbar guy.
Crowbars.
Og Doom + Quake + Wolfenstein + Half-life
I need that shit
I recommend Animorphs to anyone looking for a really good alien invasion story. The Yeerks are extremely strategic, there's concrete reasons why they specifically need humans as hosts, there's reasons why the protagonists are able to win against the numerically and technologically superior Yeerk forces, the romance (especially between Rachel and Tobias) is really interesting and devoid of love triangles, etc. It has its weak points and can get preachy and/or goofy at times, but it's just a fantastic series overall and easily one of the best YA series out there.
Regarding the aliens' motivation I really like what the second book in the 'My Brother's A Superhero' series did, where the aliens are invading earth for a reality TV show to entertain the aliens back home. It's kinda weird but quite original.
To be fair, aliens wouldn't necessarily need to be "smarter" in every area. There might be some simple means of long-distance travel that has eluded humans. Perhaps something that would make no sense to us, but perfect sense to some alien race. If something like that happened, they might be quite interested in anything from our computers to our indoor plumbing.
That depends. They could be biologically OP but stupid. I.e. generic monsters that evolved in space (not on planets) with an eat/survive/reproduce instinct that are able to slow boat from one star to another by hibernating for a few thousand years.
BosonCollider my comment was supposed to read "wouldn't." Edited.
Ah, that makes more sense. I think we are in agreement then. ; )
Or their civilization could just be much older than ours. Meaning that they don't need to be smarter, they just got a head start.
I remeber one pitch for a tabletop rpg game I heard was basically that aliens that come to earth are of a lesser tech level because humans are kind of weird for most sapient species in that we didn't come up FTL travel during our age of sail period so basically humans are more advance in everything but space travel.
wow, the real life salt in that very last sentence 😂😂😂
"The aliens can easily be defeated by mankind's most powerful weapon!"
Water? The Common Cold? Flammable Atmosphere? Sunlight? There are plenty of ridiculous weaknesses that aliens have in invasion stories. You didn't need to pull out the love triangle again.
"Pulls out love dodehecadron or whatever tihs monstroucity is called"
Bacteria a viruses would be massive threats to aliens though as their immune system would struggle to fight it. Aliens would also bring their own bacteria and viruses which would devastate humanity though.
you forgot to mention that even though such large space crafts with such advance technology that are basically indestructible would cost an incredible amount of time, money, and resources, o wait, they have thousands of them.
That's what they said about tanks in early WW1, to be fair, they still cost a lot, but any nation can get one if they try hard enough (And corrupt enough for poorer nations)
If you even achieve something like FTL travel then you have unlimited free real estate which means you could basically build as many of them as you want.
well actually even a single solar system has access to so much raw materials that thousands would likely be a bit low
I think a series that handled this sort of plotline realistically that I know of is Young Justice. The aliens in that series that wanted to invade Earth, called the Reach, tried to come off as diplomatic and infiltrated the government, coming off more unsuspecting instead of coming to Earth guns blazing. The reason why the Reach wanted to take over Earth made sense, since they wanted make Earth willing to become part of their empire. The only reason why they were stopped were due to bickering between The Light and The Reach along with Jaime working long side Khaji Da and defeating Black Beetle...like you do.
Carissa Carlson I agree. They did well with the Reach.
Don't forget that the aliens are about as original as a youngest sibling's wardrobe. Instead of considering the plausible environments that could develop an extraterrestrial race that's completely unlike us biologically, psychologically, and morphologically, just have some gray slit-eyed humanoids attack Earth for no reason! That's alien enough right? No originality required!
This is why Mars Attacks! is my favorite alien invasion film. It pokes fun at how ludicrous the premise is.
How to write any story at all!
Make all modern weapons useless to medeival swords!
Dont worry if the the badguy is clearly influenced by matter and punches and therefore can be killed by a bullet! Thats insignificant!
*don't forget just how effective Intergalactic Restraining Orders are during invasions and how aliens ALWAYS abide by them in accordance to Section 4153 of the the Tyco Treaty*
If you have to add swords, give them a valid reason.
“Super soldier who has armor equivalent to a tank who can simultaneously lift a tank.”
How would another super soldier with the same abilities penetrate that armor with just a glock? Give em a sword. They have the strength the stab a tank with a knife like its butter, yet use 5.56 to fight a tungsten-clad hunk of pure testosterone? I mean, guns dont get more effective based on the user’s strength, but melee weapons do
@AeonReign you gonna use a tank cannon at 6 meters away?
@AeonReign yeah I understand and agree completely.
I mean like, lets say some super soldier just got done destroying an entire army from 200+ meters away, but then their super soldier sneaks up on them and they don’t realize until they get really close. Cant use a cannon at 6 meters away bc chances are you would get hurt. So you use ur backup weapons.
Im saying if you need a backup weapon, you want that shit to work and work well.
I know you are using Half-Life 2 as an example, but it is different. The aliens managed to take over mankind after only 7 hours. They also have good motivation, they are an universal empire that seeks to expand, so they invade indiscriminately.
The Combine not only wants Earth's resources, they also need human teleportation technology. They do not master their own form of teleportation and it takes a long time to generate just one portal, long enough for the human resistance to build a rocket and shut it down.
Gordon Freeman is no ordinary person, he is using the best technology mankind has to offer and well as being possibly more than human after being taken by G-Man. The reason why he can mow down the Combine is because the force we see in the game is just a token force, the main force left after the Seven Hours War.
@Arthas Menethil there's still the g-man interference, the h.e.v suit, and the gravity gun.
Arthas Menethil it’s not like the combine would leave their cannon fodder with much armor.
What I always hate about Alien invasions is that for some reason they'll allergic to Earth. Like water is acidic to them, sunlight burns them, or they cannot breathe in earth's atmosphere. Why conquer a world that you can't live in?
Hey now, our critcism of Gordon Freeman is inaccurate. He defeated Aliens with a Crowbar AND a Gravity Gun.
XCOM actually manages to address most of these issues
1:36 We require more Vespine Gas!
3:35
Is that Douglas MacArthur?
"Strangely incompetent military forces"
Me: *Looks at how we've handled Iraq and Afghanistan and laughs
Lol
I disagree, we were fighting guerilla forces on the other side of the world.
The only reason aliens would only come to earth to make peace and gladly learn from each other or........... just use us as something like servants or maids, which is less likely, but is the most likely reason why they would try conquering earth.
4:42 "Hollywood doesn't know the first thing about real hacking despite them employing hack writers"
ooooooooohhhhhh buuuuuuuuuuuuuurn
It's funny how aliens are apparently so advanced to create light shields that stop nukes, but savage enough to not have an ethics committee.
A story set on a Vichy earth after a completely successful alien invasion that explores how different human characters cope with their shocking defeat and assimilating into an alien culture, as well as exploring how various alien characters feel about the war and occupation? Why has nobody done that, that sounds amazing.
On the bright side, at least you're not one of the aliens who invaded a planet filled with a compound lethal to them while buck-naked.
I absolutely love how this guy does these videos on paint. That just adds to the humour and sarcasm.
This makes me remember a novel I got at an airport once, where the way they defeated the aliens was... Ghost-vampires? What?
This is not a joke. I don't remember the title, I lost the book afterwards, but like, there were vampires who could become intangible and defeated the aliens.
That sounds dope. If you ever find out what it is, I would totally give it a read.
I have to keep coming back to these videos to stop the lazy 5 year old in me from taking over my stories. Thanks.
Honestly one of if not the coolest reason for an alien invasion I’ve ever seen, and one of the more believable reasons, is found in Command and Conquer, when the GDI and Nod learn that the first Tiberius meteorite that hit earth was actually meant as a seed to grow the Tiberius crystals across earth, and that the aliens came when they were tricked by Kane into thinking the planet was basically ripe for harvest by the Tiberius explosion he created.
"we require more vespene gas" lmao nice
also YES, i'm always saying that invading a civiliztion that has nukes with the capability to leave the atmosphere (humans in this case) is a very bad idea. everybody knows that terrans have huge deffenders advantage, parking your ship in orbit, where EVERYBODY can look at you from every angle and can also shoot at you will likely get you killed
If the aliens were serious about killing humans they could simply chuck their own nukes or equivelents, and send enough of those to bankrupt the nations trying to shoot those down
Irrelevant since they could just shoot them down with lasers or counter missiles, conversely, why do genocidal aliens always bother to land on earth and slowly destroy individual places with primitive weapons instead of just antimatter carpt bombing earth within like 5 minutes to kill everything?
Don't forget how, despite the fact that their shields were obviously made for energy weapons, still block bullets!
I mean if high-velocity explosive ball of energy-rich plasma gets blocked,bullets will also get blocked,as shield have to take impact of explosion with energy release
But if shields made for lasers only then yeah it blocking bullets is bullshit
Ahhhhh, just another day where I watch another great, well-thought and ebtertaining Terrible Writing Advice video and also another day where I point out a story that handled those concepts well. On the subject of alien invasions, two franchises have handled those concepts well, the Transformers franchise and the Predator franchise.
The Transformers franchise makes the Autobots and Decepticons reach Earth by accident as a result of the conflict on Cybertron. The Decepticons stay on Earth not just to conquer it, but also to obtain Energon, their main source of energy, and return to Cybertron to continue their schemes for rebuilding Cybertron and usually thecrest of the universe as well to their desire. Since Energon is a fictional resource, the writers can place wherever they want, for example in Cyberverse they showed an alien planet where Energon was located (it even had sentient life that was feeding on Energon). Plus, whenever the Decepticons (or Predacons, depending on the series or continuity) would come to Earth intentionally, it would most likely be because they wanted to eliminate the Autobots once and for all (Beast Wars and Bumblebee: The Movie), exact revenge for previous defeats (IDW1, and even then Starscream objected to the idea of going on a revenge quest), give their ancestors valuable information (Kingdom) or find special atrifacts (Armada, Animated, Bayverse and 2015 RID). I even appreciate the fact that shows like Transformers Prime and Transformers Cybertron stated and showed that there were multiple ancient artifacts and on other planet in the cosmos beyond just Earth. In fact, I always liked when we would see the Transformers interact with other alien civilizations and not treat Earth and Cybertron as the only planets in the universe. Plus, there were instances in G1, Animated, Bayverse, Bymblebee: The Movie and Cyberverse where the Decepticons would try to manipulate people of Earth that they were on the same side or team up with human villains. In general, I like when the Decepticons would try to keep a low profile and be sneaky, manipulative and, well,...deceptive. It is more interesting from a story perspective and more practical from the Decepticons's perspective, instead of just attacking random cities again and again with big guns.
The Predator franchise subverts the alien invasion trope by...not doing it. The Yautja (a.k.a. the Predators) themselves are a horror antagonist unlike any other. They don't seek power or revenge or food but rather entertainment through hunting and battle, they follow a code of honor and they combine more old-school equipment with modern technology. This makes the Predators stand out from other horror villains, opens up lots of world-building possibilities, creates tension through personal stakes (because the characters are directly targeted by the Predator, if they are seen as a worthy challenge) with no need for end-of-the-world scenarios and the Predators could even stand on their own as protagonists of a story.
And in those aspects is where the Bayverse and The Predator 2018 fail. The Bayverse links the humans to the beginning of the Great War, which doesn't make any sense, because I refuse to accept that the Fallen betrayed his brothers and Megatron started the Great War just to see humanity burn. What do they think they'll succeed by that? Is humanity's existence really that annoying to them that they betrayed everyone around them? And the Predator 2018, amongst other things, turns the Yautja from some unique and interesting antagonists with lots of potential into some generic planet-conquering aliens like many more we have seen before. Luckily, the Transformers franchise managed to regain its freshness. Now, let's just hope the Predator franchise can do so too.
1:26 oof....that alien is going to have a field day with the creators of GOT.
2:26
So you're telling me a low budget anime movie who has the worst ending and literally dosent extend the plot at any means and placed with filler content has actual thought??
What’s the movie
@@DinoRicky i'd rather hide that movie's name for my own sake
How dare you reveal my races methods of invasion to this primitive planet it took are best strategists to come up with the tactics in which we use in all of your alien invasion films truly you do not see the genius in allowing the enemies access too our mother ship.
For some reason, the only movie where I have felt that the "no reason given for invasion" actually WORKS, is Edge of Tomorrow, but I can't exactly put my finger on it. Maybe because it wasn't about how the Mimics arrived. And even the characters themselves say that "Who cares why they are here. They are here and they are winning." And that was the whole point of it. I actually really like that detail. Kind of like how the empires of old spread across the land. Sometimes they sent heralds to demand surrender, but other times they just literally appeared out of fucking nowhere and razed down everything.
I always wanted to do a story where aliens invade our solar system and set up shop on mars and start mining and harvesting it, leaving us alone. And the entire story would be what changes happen on earth knowing that there's other life and were not important enough to talk to
"Be defeated, by a species so stuipid they can't even make it to Mars..."
. . . . damn . . .