My journey with schizoaffective disorder
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- čas přidán 15. 06. 2024
- A short film i made in 2011 detailing my journey to being diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and my recovery from the episode. This is an edited version of the original where i have taken out the scene about self-harm and cut down the scene where i talk about suicide to avoid any triggers.
14:24 -It was 14th January 2008 when i ran away from hospital, not 18th!
Schizoaffective disorder is a combination of schizophrenia and bipolar. Here is more about the condition:
www.mind.org.uk/help/diagnoses...
I hope the film is coherent enough. I felt quite embarrassed at times talking on my own to the camera in public.
Reliving my experience with mental illness was also quite tough, especially going back to certain places I hadn't been to, both physically and mentally, since my breakdown.
I just wanted to do something to break the stigma that those suffering from a condition such as schizophrenia or any other mental illness unfortunately have to face. And sometimes that is more challenging than the mental illness itself.
I also wanted to give some hope to those currently living with a mental illness. Hearing from someone that recovered from their mental illness helped me immensely in my own recovery. Now I am well again, I want to try and do the same for someone else.
Follow me at / mrjonnybenjamin
My book 'Pill After Pill-poems from a schizophrenic mind' is out now in paperback bit.ly/zFDzYT and ebook bit.ly/xMjHie
I'm a family physician in America and treat a large number of patients with mental illness. I think you have created a marvelous video with a lot of passion and honesty. I will share this with my patients as a teaching tool. Thank you!
Yu772177 That's great, thank-you!
@@mrjonnybenjamin 🙂🙏
Johnny...Please know that you are still having an impact on people! I'm an American man living with Schizoaffective disorder. My first occurrence of hearing voices and hallucinating was at three years old. My parents began telling me stories about me after I was diagnosed in 2004. My journey is similar to your own experience with the disease and I just found you a couple weeks ago! Please don't stop sharing your life! I need to know that you are here in the journey with me! Big hug and thanks to you for sharing your story. It has meant the world to me. The dark places that this illness takes us to screams for beacons of light such as yourself to light the path and show people that light and life will always come! If you find yourself in a patch of darkness and you fail to see the light ahead, grasp my hand and I will lead you to the next patch of light! You are loved! 💚💙🎶.
Keeping a journal made a real difference to me. It's such a great outlet isn't it.
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for posting this. I have mild paranoia with schizoid tendencies. I find it almost impossible to trust people or form relationships of any kind. The cruelty of having only the "tendencies", rather than full-blown schizoid personality disorder, is that I long to have close relationships, to love and be loved, but simultaneously feel compelled to pull back and isolate myself. I've spent my life longing for what I can never have, and it's an agony of loneliness. I don't know how many others there are like me, but just watching this makes me feel like if you could recover, maybe there's still a glimmer of hope. I'll try to hang on a while longer...who knows what can happen.
***** you must never give up. I had a good period of mental health for a few years until recently. It was a great and prosperous time for me. You can have that too. Keep fighting!
Well there are schizophrenics who can't even sleep at night and go through severe delusional and hallucinatory episodes all the time. General paranoia about being judged by others is not indicative of schizophrenia but indicates social anxiety disorder if chronic.
check out my page, made videos for schizophrenia, ONLY if you're open minded to alternative methods.
Hang in there.
can you ever love.
Thank you for having the courage to make this video. I have just received the diagnoses of schizoaffective disorder and it is quite frightening. This video gives me hope that I will be able to be successful and happy. Thank you!
Keep strong, i know it might feel scary now but it really does get better in time-you're not alone
Hope you're doing well bro
You're giving me a glimmer of hope. Been living with this disease since the age of 16 in a Third World country where mental illness if frowned upon immensely. I'm a non-functional Schizo and I struggle to integrate socially and occupationally. Thanks for sharing your story.
I HAD A breakdown at 16 but recovered fast in a few months i'm now 68, i've been a strict vegan for 32 years, through rational fasting raw fruit and veg diet with fresh air, water, exercise sun, deep breathing you will cure yourself if you have the balls to do it and love yourself enough, mental illness is cause by bad diet mucus in the blood that affects your brain just like bad diet affect your other body organs!
Name Less ... But medicine doesn't care about the social attitudes and it works just as well... Keep up the treatment... The additional challenges.. Well I wish you the best of strength against those.
Bless you and I hope that you can find some peace❣️
Also,people like us are disliked,even in richer communities!!
@@healthyone100 well,yes,that most certainly would help!!but some are lost in this World and find it much more difficult.
Dear JonnyBenjamin,
I am speechless right now. I am a psychology student and right now I am sitting at the library and studying the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. I was just looking for some more example-like explanations and in between this search I found your video. I am really touched by the immense strength that you show with this and the soul-touching beautiful openness that shows how much of a beautiful person you are and how much there is that you can offer to the world and share with others.
I can't help but notice that sometimes the really extreme experiences in life, especially the mental ones, seem to have the potential to bring people to such a stage in life were they start to be so real that it is overwhelmingly soul-touching. I deeply belief that this is an enormous strength. One that you obviously have. Thank you for sharing all this with others. I hope that you can see and value your strength and I wish you that you will never forget about this part of you but instead continue to show it and see how it has the potential to change others perspectives. I have nonvenomous respect for you.
Katja
you are my role moddle and i think that because you bring hope to every one
Thankyou. That was the most honest account i have ever heard about mental illness. It was gut wrenching and heartwarming and most of all hopeful. Thank you for that
We are strongest when we ask for help!
Lisa Herrling I did but no help, I'm schizo affective too
Talk therapy does help. A lot of the meds are guesswork.
If you ask for help.❣️
Don't give up hope. Keep positive
Thanks for your message and i'm sorry to read about your brother. Show him this video perhaps so he doesn't feel so alone. I've also made a video with tips on recovery from mental illness. He will recover i'm sure. Keep showing him lots of love and support and remind him that he will get better. Thinking of you all
Thank you so very much for sharing this video. I have a loved one with this and it's been so hard because he has shut me out, and there is nothing I can do except love him and wait for him to recover.
@swami shivakti Devi same experience here as well
Well done! I wish I could find more people as courageous as you in order to decrease the stigma.
I was diagnosed at 58 with Bipolar Affective Disorder - with my manic episodes being on the Epileptic end of the spectrum. I was diagnosed late even though I had symptoms from my teen years onwards and unfortunately as a consequence have rapid cycling episodes even with daily medication.
Johnny has done everyone a big service with his documentary - many parts touched me personally and I identified with his experiences so strongly. I am certain others watching will learn too.
Good luck Johnny.
Thank you for sharing your story. That final bit or advice was really nice. "You are not your mental illness. You are still you."
It does help to hear about other peoples recovery from mental illness. It makes me believe there's hope.
How absolutely awesome that you decided to go ahead and share your experiences with the world! Since no one, typically, can hear anyone elses thoughts or the voices that they hear, there's no way we could know what it is like inside you. Many mentally ill people do not show body language to explain what they are feeling so how could other people know and recognize and be able to accept and help them? Thank you for helping me and others to understand your situation and to give us the chance to accept you.
Michael Rush thanks so much Michael, your message means a lot :)
There is a video called 20/20 ABC Schizophrenia, and they show you a virtual reality video that comes close to what people diagnosed with this actually see and hear. I don't have it, but know someone that does, and it's heartbreaking.
What a wonderful comment!
Jonny is a wonderful human being. What kind of a troll would give this a thumbs down?!
Thank you for all you do Jon!! xo
7 years later buddy, and your words your wisdom, and your courage has helped me beyond beleif.. 21 years of therapy, and no diagnosis, i am in the middle of going through a diagnosis now in western australia, i keep telling them that i think this is it.. and every word everything you mentioned is spot on with me, i have been suffering from this since as long as i can remember, but wasn't visable until i was about 8 years old. i cannot tell you how much easier you have made it for me too simply understand my condition.
Thank you for sharing this and being honest and Frank. You are now my man on the bridge telling me I can get through it. Thank you.
I'm sorry i can't reply to everyone's comments. CZcams will only let me have the option to reply to a few for some reason? It's very frustrating! Why have CZcams made this so difficult? We're trying to help each other and give support and advice. This is now impossible with the changes that have been made. It's such a shame.
I'd like to know what makes the voice inside your head any more, or any less real than the voice countless millions of people on this planet claim to hear every day? You see, they get away with it because they're members of a cult which is the true mental illness which plagues this world... Organised Religion. You my friend have been the victim of a deeply flawed system based on a fundamental misunderstanding of reality. You have been told who you are by people who do not know who THEY are, and then locked inside a hall of mirrors while they went home to attend mass and listen to the voice in their own heads. You are a victim of arrogance and of ignorance. You are not suffering any illness. Only... fear.
Actually, all people with mental illness are the victim of having leaky gut which is the root cause. Once you heal the gut, you can eliminate schizoaffective disorder. I have done it and thousands of others. Truehope company online, OR go to any orthomolecular doctor and you will be healed and not have to take medication or see a doctor again and no more hospitalizations.
Psychiatry is a lie! Look up Gut and Psychology Syndrome online. This neurologist cured her son using a diet and functional medicine. The book she wrote explains the cause of schizophrenia, ADHD, autism - leaky gut. She explains how to heal it.
walka112
> You see, they get away with it because they're members of a cult which is the true mental illness which plagues this world... Organised Religion
> You have been told who you are by people who do not know who THEY are, and then locked inside a hall of mirrors while they went home to attend mass and listen to the voice in their own heads. You are a victim of arrogance and of ignorance. You are not suffering any illness. Only... fear.
Thats some of the dumbest shit I have ever heard.
liz ward
> Actually, all people with mental illness are the victim of having leaky gut which is the root cause. Once you heal the gut, you can eliminate schizoaffective disorder. I have done it and thousands of others. Truehope company online, OR go to any orthomolecular doctor and you will be healed and not have to take medication or see a doctor again and no more hospitalizations.
Although this is dumber.
Look up truehope and schizophrenia on CZcams. It has been on the news. On discovery Health channel. The supplement company won against health Canada in the supreme court of Canada and that newscast is also on CZcams and you can find the info on Google as well.
Thank you so much for sharing. I have a couple of family members going thru this. One is in their 60's and after decades of research and treatment there is only to manage their illness. It is hard and at times very hard to grasp their struggle and insights such as yours make a huge difference for me to be able to be supportive and understanding. Thank you.
waterdog Jones thank-you and sorry to hear of your family members struggle. It's so tough. Schizophrenia can be such a cruel illness. I'm glad i was able to provide insight. Thanks for your comment.
I'm in the US and starting my journey as a Therapist/Clinical Counselor. I stress to every client/patient I work with that in addition to the doctor they see for their medication, they need to work with a therapist. For me, medication is to help stabilize and the therapist is to help with learning how to change thinking and behavior. Some will always be on medication and others may only need it while they gain the necessary skills to successfully manage life. God bless you on your journey and thank you for having the courage to make this video to share your journey. You have helped more than you will ever know.
You are a very brave man Jonny. Thank you for sharing your experience. Hopefully people will hear you and be encouraged by your story.
This video is very beautiful and is exactly what I needed to hear today, thank you Mr. Benjamin, it lifts my spirits to see that someone else gets it and that there is hope for recovery. Thank you very much for this video, have a lovely day, cheers.
This is the video that led me to subscribe. Very inspirational and humbling.
I am so moved by your journey. It has helped open my heart to others who are suffering. Thank you for sharing your life with us:)
Hi Whitecrow, thanks for your message and introducing me to your videos..they are fantastic!!!! Great to hear you talk so openly and honestly about schizophrenia and OCD. You certainly will not only break down some stigma but also help those diagnosed with schizophrenia..the way you talk so frankly is inspiring. Thank-you for making and sharing your channel...i love your profile picture too..it's wonderful! You're very talented! Best, Jonny
"It is no measure of sanity to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society." --i think mental illness can be seen in a way as being a response from a particularly sensitive individual consciousness to the collective confusion, pain, and sadness of the collective human psyche.
Ray Quesada I agree too...and, with things getting worse politically and culturally, we need to brace ourselves for the effect, especially on our young people. So glad this young man has the courage to share with us his story, I think it will be a big help to many.
Ray Quesada that's deep I like it
YES
Thank you for having the courage to share this. It was very informative. I'm glad you made the right choice to not end your life. You are an inspiration to us all. Best of luck to you!!! ❤️
I've been through some of the same exact things. It's taken years for me to even admit some of my symptoms and I am barely getting the proper help I need. Only 2 people know about the more serious ones. Everyone has known that I'm troubled but only my best friend knows just how serious some of my moods are. Every time I would suggest to a family member that I needed help, it would get shrugged off and they would say, "depression sucks, just get up and do what you need to do" or "therapy is a joke, don't waste your time." I would often get lectured and judged, people would say that I'm lazy or full of excuses but in reality I have just been very sick and no one seemed to care enough to help. I've spent years feeling guilty and hating myself because no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't function and would feel paralyzed most of the time. Thank you Jonny, I'm really glad to know that I'm not alone in some of my experiences and behavior. I would actually like to talk one on one with you or to someone else who has similar experiences with schizoaffective disorder. I don't know anyone who has dealt with it before.
I am so touched by this short film. I know you probably hear that a lot. It touched me, not because I suffer from a mental illness, but because I was raised by someone and surrounded by someone who suffered. Just hearing some of the things you've said in this film gave me insight on some of the things I did not understand about the person who raised me. You put deep thoughts into my head, thoughts of understanding and comprehension. You are a strong man for making this film; I'm sure it wasn't easy to make. However, I can't help but feel that you have helped millions of people just by saying and expressing what you've been through and for than likely still going through. Cheers.
Wow! Your video was awesome. Thank you for your honest explanation of what you went through. Your a very likeable person and anyone is lucky to have you as a friend. You've changed my entire view of schizophrenia. People with this mental illness are not to be feared or hated on. They need help and support.
A.Max Benavidez Thanks so much for your very kind message!
Such a gorgeous guy. God bless you.
you're story has truly touched my heart. i don't have this particular disorder but my father who has now passed did. when i was in 6th grade(2012) it got so bad for him, he killed his own parents & that has been the hardest thing i've ever dealt with, following that after a lot of trials, 2014 he was admitted to a mental hospital where he met his death because doctors weren't doing their job. so i appreciate you so much for simply sharing your story. i've had so many unanswered questions & because of you im getting some of the many i have. you are in my prayers, i hope & pray for nothing but the best for you! 💗
thanks for sharing, jonny. The courage you have to film in places so connected with hurtful memories shows the depth of your recovery. It´s a hope for everyone dealing with traumatizing experiences, that they can develop a mature view about their own life history and carry on with their lives.
Learning about this stuff helps me to feel more compassionate as well. I feel bad that people have to deal with this-thanks for sharing your story!
Two years ago, I had a mental breakdown. I didn't hear voices so to speak, but I had something in me, not like a voice but like it was inside me screaming it. I do not know how to put it. But I wanted to kill someone, it just came to me. It really scared me, and I really thought it would go away after a while but it progressively got worse and worse. I don't feel like killing anymore, because by the time it had happened, I knew myself. I couldn't hurt anyone but the anxiety was still there. Now I feel like nothing is real, I can't understand why things are the way they are, I can't be alone with myself because I don't feel like a person. I just feel like I'm watching my life through a tele. Sometimes it gets unbearable. Like nights like these, I close my eyes and do my normal routine, but beyond my bedroom door, j feel like nothing is going to happen unless I pass through it, like every sequence of life is set up as a scene. People aren't really real. It's a very scary place in my head, I've tried to climb out but my father isn't one for believing in mental health care. So I struggle. I do not know why I am posting this, it just feels good to know someone feels the same way as me. Sorry if this was a little here and there and everywhere. Just been a rough night. Cheers, this was a great video by the way.
+gavinmac18 check out my page, made videos for schizophrenia, ONLY if you're open minded to alternative methods.
Please get help. Don't tell your father. Worry about yourself.
You are not alone
derealization
U have derealization. I had it for over two years due to anxiety. I got out by reconnecting again with the world and people (i was really too anxious)
Jonny, thank you so much for making this video. It really takes courage. I have a history of depression and your film not only relates with me on a personal level but also gives me (and I'm sure many others) much hope. Thank you! :)
Thank you for making this film. You are so brave. You are so well spoken. I am so glad that you were given so much support and able to heal as safely as possible. I wish you all the best for your future.
2:27
sure can relate to that thought. started getting paranoia and delusions back when I was 13 years old. didn't get any help before I was in my late 23rd year, which was one year ago now. starting to feel like my life is slowly getting back on track, even though the illness has left it's marks. but thank you for posting this video. really a hugely relevant issue in today's society we aren't taught enough about.
tangbein glad that you are starting to feel your life get back on track :) keep strong friend, you are stronger than the marks the illness has left. They can and will heal in time i'm sure :)
Thank you for this video Jonny, and for sharing your story so honestly. I found it helpful. I have been diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder too. I wish you well on your journey. God bless.
Bryony Rogers Thanks Bryony, i wish you health and peace. Know that you are never alone :)
Thank you so much for making this film. Your an amazing Young Man, for the courage you have shown in telling this story, to help others, for the hope this story gives to a world where mental illness is still thought of negatively. I am studying Counseling at the moment and came across this film. I will recommend it for anyone needing hope. I wish you all the best in all ways, in your life.
I think you're an angel too..thanks for sharing what you've been through too..i'm sorry you get treated so badly..makes me so angry. You're a fighter though so keep strong my friend!
Mr. Benjamin I just want to say that I really appreciate you making this video. I don't have schizoaffective disorder, but my aunt was diagnosed with it from a young age (grade 10) and was a harm to herself. It was extremely odd for me and I remember having the ignorance to think that this was something "uncool" and just had a less than human attitude for mental illness. These people are quite often made fun of. It's not right and I think there should be no stones cast at a person who is mentally ill, especially not by a society that is clearly mentally unsound in its treatment of people. I am extremely sorry for people having to deal with these conditions these days and I don't know what I can do to help, but I want to help. It's terrible that they are affected like this. How can I help?
root toor Thank-you. Talking to people about mental illness and breaking down the ignorance and stigma that surrounds mental health is the best way you can help. Mental illness is still considered a taboo despite the fact each one of us has mental health. Thanks for taking a stand and wanting to change things. Too many suffer as a result of the stigma that exists.
No problem at all. Once again, thank you very much. I am glad I have this video as a great piece of material to draw from in regard to education on the matter.
I took olanzapine for the delusional symptoms such as the cameras watching me. Not everyone hears voices. Good luck to you my friend
What medication(s) are you on now?
You are so awesome for posting this. I can't thank you enough. I lost a dear friend who took his own life in 2007. He battled with the paranoia and mania for the entire 15 years that I was lucky enough to call him my friend. It's too late for him, but If you change one person's outlook with this video then It will have been worth it. It's almost too simple to remind someone struggling that they will not always feel this way, but it needs to be said so that we can erase the social stigma and labels. Big hugs to you my brother, and may you continue to improve and live life to the fullest.
And to you..keep strong my friend..it's good to know that none of us are really alone at the end of the day. We're all fighting this together :)
Thank you for helping me understand that I am not alone in this and this is such a new thing coming into my life and you are helping me get through it
@@cassandrachesnut2612 oh yeah Same
The first voices I got were during my first panic attack. That attack changed something in my brain. The voices didn't bother me until late last year. I now have a woman, who harasses me for every little thing. I have a man who started nice but he's beginning to take control of my emotions and body, and finally, I have a whisper that constantly happens and it hasn't stopped for more than 10 minutes in 3 years. If you joke about having voices but really don't, you're an asshole. You, video creator, I hope you get better, I'm on the path myself.
Childhood atheism cool story bro
Life on the internet. It appears your post is old & I'm not sure if you still monitor these comments but what you are doing makes a difference. I don't have the audio hallucinations like I used to & the paranoia comes & goes. It appears to get stronger the more I feed it, like the story about (which wolf gets stronger) good & evil. I am 48 this year & have been homeless most of my adult life. I really lost it when "they" (America's Child Protective Services) took my kids & proceeded to abuse them in front of me & I could do nothing to stop them. The crazier I got, the more they pointed at me saying, "SEE, we were right, she can't be a good mom." I battled them for 10 years. I never gave up. I believe that in the end, my insanity was partially what kept me alive, & able to persevere under conditions that should have destroyed me. The one thing that kept me going was the idea that my boys should know their mom never gave up (on them or on herself) & would never abandon them. I came close to giving up on myself many times, but what many people don't understand is that suicide was never about anyone else, it was about freedom from myself & the pain. I have been suicide ideation free since September 2011 & I look forward to following your progress. I hope you know there are others out here, making this journey with you, with compassion, love, & empathy~ Peace
Melissa Evans I think you're inspiring. You've got strength inside you that is endless. Never forget that when you're struggling Melissa. Your boys are so lucky to have a Mom like you
Thank you~ I will keep looking for more updates & good things from you as well! We need more mentors after the public loss of Phillip Seymour Hoffman & Robin Williams.
Hey i felt even inch of this post. Keep pushing and never give up! You're stronger than you know.
You are an amazing strong individual. Its the hardest thing to imagine my children to be taken away from me, its unbearable. I just want to say your strength and courage is exceptional. I sincerely wish you reunite with your boys. Its a world where people don't make the effort to solve a problem but rather feed off others misfortune. How different would it have been if the children social services helped you in getting the mental help you need and also help your family cope with illness. You are an inspiration... thank you for sharing
Dear Jonny, I think you can see from all the posts here that you have made a profound and positive impact on many. Thank you for your courage in sharing your painful but also hopeful story with us all. You should be very proud.
This documentary is extremely insightful as well as inspiring. Thank you for being brave enough to be so open and honest about your experiences. Thank you as well for sharing a message of hope. :) It is so important to start breaking down the stigmas about mental illnesses, and your documentary is a very good step in that direction.
Hi Jonny. I'm a Student Nurse so mental health issues are something I want to educate myself on as much as I can. What advice do you have for me on how I can support people with mental health issues both as a Nurse & as a friend? (if you can't reply to my comments feel free to send me a message).
seriously i thank you so much for this video truely. i am suffering by same illness everyday and i feel like killing myself.
+babo babo check out my page, made videos for schizophrenia, ONLY if you're open minded to alternative methods.
I’ve just come across this video. It’s 2 years on, but are you okay?
Thank you so much for this video. I hope that you are finding success! It means so much to hear a positive story of recovery from mental illness. There are far too many sensational representations of schizophrenia and too few inspirational ones. Thanks!
Thanks for posting this Jonny. It must have taken a lot of courage. I hope others going through this will seek help and be encouraged. One of my closest friends was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder and went through a lot of pain. He did seek help soon after a breakdown and has been well on meds ever since. Some of the side-effects are bothersome, but much better than the disorder itself. Best wishes for you and anyone reading, if you're going through this. It does get better!
You're really cute!
Aww haha
William Fischer That is what struck me too. This guy is really good-looking and more importantly affable, he must get much interest.
ur gay?
yes, but so are you!
Agreed
my 27 yr old son was recently diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia after a full blown psychosis in March this year, I didn't see this coming, I keep asking myself where did I go wrong! but the more I think of it Kevin always had a way about himself that was just not right, but he was independent, worked etc, and in a few months i lost my son, he's not the same, he won't communicate with anyone, is this ever going to get better, I'm so worried about him
Hate to say it he is pretty much screwed
+George Hoffman what do you mean!?
well schizophrenia gets a bad name they are often seen as violent dangerous people. Who are often looked as stabbing people shooting up movie theaters its one diagnosis people would adviod it has a lot of stigma
+George Hoffman this is so sad!
Thats not helping anyone, you dont know her son's condition and by your comment you dont work in the mental health field .Just another internet troll or a person with a very low IQ
hugs, big hugs. thanks so very much for your courage to make this video. there were several moments throughout this that i fought not to cry cuz i knew there was still hope. i recently hit a "wall" in my process of trying to recover and the hope was quickly diminishing. thanks for bringing it back to me.
What an absolutely awe inspiring piece of work, i to have been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder also and it's all to easy to relate (to be fair one of the symptoms is that you don't "realise" your not functioning correctly and only by watching your videos i have gained more insight). You have put it so realistically no exaggeration or hiding the facts. I have had episodes and don't want to go back their again, it's literally a living hell. I've been looking into research on the subject but there doesn't seem to be much on the subject, like how they say schizophrenia is just a way of classifying people a similar set of snapshot characteristics and that a mood disorder is feeling different to what you are reasonably suppose to in a given set of circumstances. I don't believe enough is being done to help first understand the condition, i mean i live happily on a day-2-day basis, but if there was a magic pill (no negative effects) to help people pull out of an episode would be a god send. I mean between me and you research shows that, an episode lasts about two weeks, and a manic episode has better recovery than a depressive, yet they give you depressive medication. It just doesn't make sense, even i was ill i believe if i was approached in the correct way and explained about the delusion i'd of been able to snap out of it myself. Is there any discussion forums you take place in? Anything that may give us a chance to explain to professionals what it is and the affects of an episode? Like why one thing connects to another and that gives a reality and another thing gets connected, giving a dynamic world of complete isolation with information firing in the brain with these new found reality laws that are uncomprehendably static. Anyway, thankyou so much for your contribution. You have changed my life.
I have not experienced this but the greatest trick Satan will ever do, is convince man that he doesn't exist. Please people, this is Lucifer the Arch Angel. The law is, he cannot touch but only whisper. I am preying now for everyone. Jesus can cast them out, no one else can.
+Marcus O'Ruiari When I was a christian, it was so easy to feel guilty over thoughts. The truth is, religion makes you as crazy as anyone in a mental hospital.
I truly understand your battle and as someone who is bipolar I know much of what you battle with. Your courage to appear on cam and tell your story is very inspirational.
Jonny Thank You very much for taking the time to make this video. Positive stories about recovery are few and far between so having this available really has a significant positive impact on so many people. Listening to your experiences make me feel not as alone and shines a light on the future.
Thank you again and hope you are well.
Daniela Skinner thanks Daniela, you're never truly alone. There's always someone to reach out to and you can overcome anything in life. Keep strong :)
Well done on the documentary, it was inspiring to watch and, after being moved to tears, I really felt the need to do something. Haven't figured out what yet and I'm still wide awake and mind buzzing with plans. Your attitude, your honesty, your willing to stand up for yourself and what you believe in and the fact that you seem so... Likeable. I hope many other people benefit from the documentary, including yourself.
Thanks so much Jonny, your story is amazing.
I went through something quite similar to you, after a car accident I was sectioned and later told I had schizophrenia. I was in and out of mental hospitals for three years, and some years later after lots of treatment got the all clear from my doctor.
I appreciate that you have gone to this much trouble to explain to others what mental illness means to you, hearing you talk about the cameras, the paranoia, the voices all made sense to me. Mental illness is not an easy subject to talk about and people are taught be strong and self-contained, as a result there is so much shame and fear attached to making yourself vulnerable in front of others. If only people could understand that they are not alone, it might encourage more people to seek help.
Our society can be too harsh on those who do not fit into the prescribed norms. You are a very brave person to reveal yourself in this way, and I think you have done the best possible thing for yourself by searching out the man gave you the courage not to give up. You have taken a broken chain and re-linked it, so the events in your life have meaning again.
Thanks, don’t stop what you are doing - more people in life need to understand that they can step out of the darkness and find the understanding and the love they need, and that there are people there waiting to help them when they decide to do so.
Amazing that you have come off your medication and been given the all-clear from your psychiatrist! I am so happy for you! Well done and also that you are working to help others have hope and recovery. Every blessing to you dear Jonny! xx
I am very close to a person with mental illness, and it is sometimes frightening, sometimes funny, mostly I have a great deal of empathy toward that person's inability to understand perspective. I think identifying and then accepting this condition is the key in a relationship with someone with a mental illness disorder. It may not be necessary to name it, but attempting to understand is critical. Bless your heart for continuing to try to make sense out of your world. You are very courageous.
Thanks for the film. Watching people share their stories is what helps me find the courage to share mine. well done film, very moving and informative
Jonny you are such a wonderful and sensitive person, you inspire to let other people be sensitive too and remind each and everyone you encounter what it is to be human. You must have been through a lot of pain and suffering and in no way will I ever be able to understand, no one can ever feel what the other feels.. but if I may say, what I see when I look at you is a beautiful magical human being, so great!!! that the power of a part in you which is not recognising how brilliant you actually are, is destroying another part in yourself. And how strong that force must be. You are perfect the way you are, the past, present and future you :) xx
I have just watched your BBC3 programme. I am depressed (as you say and iv learned, I have depression) for the past few years. I cant say how much your programme has touched me and is helping me.
I am not saying I will be fixed fast etc. I am aware I will probably have a lifetime to fight this, but I wanted to say your an amazing guy for doing so much and being so brave.
Well done you!!!
I have never had a role model in my life, But now I have you to look to, keep up the gr8 wrk
Yan
x
thanks for putting this together, it was helpful when I found it after I was released from a hospital in 10, with the same diagnosis. peoples, many peoples attitude of disbelief, or trivializing the severity of the symptoms can be frustrating. glad you're doing well, appreciate the sharing of your experience.
Beautifully shared Johnny. My deepest appreciation to you for your boundless courage and strength, it is a beacon of light for others. You shine a ray of hope to my heart, for the person in my life who struggles with the same disorder. Thank you.
Johnny Benjamin, this is fantastic! My partner suffers with this and this has helped me understand her so much more and will hopefully enable me to support her so much more. She's been managing off tablets for about 3 years now and 2 years prior to that she had no tablets and no support what so ever! But now she has me :-) She's about to be reassesed as she now feels she needs to go back on tablets... I will ask her to watch this as she is currently very ashamed about her illness and likes to pretend it's not happening... I think this video and your story will really help her, so thank you :-) and may you live a long and proseperous life x
Jonny...I don't know what to say. You have left me in complete awe. Your strength and belief in yourself is astounding. Your journey has made you a man that people cannot turn from I am sure. I thank you so much for sharing your life, your journey, your pains and your success with us. Remember the man that stood behind you on the bridge? Well you are that man. You are that man to the world now. You have shared this video with thousands of people and I know you have changed peoples lives.
It's so awesomely amazing that you've made and posted this video. Thank you!!
Thank you for your bravery at sharing your struggle. I am Schizoaffective Bi-Polar and I've gone through almost every phase you've brought to light in your video. I haven't the mental wheretoall or self-confidence to share my story as well as you have. Thank you, again, on behalf of those of us who haven't yet spoken on the subject.
Thank you for the video. Been going through a rough patch in life. Although I don't have any mental illness I know of, I do know that I've been through depression. Its nice to hear that things can change for the better. You sharing your life story has saved so many lives man. You have a voice.
Fahim Arif Thanks Fahim, i hope you're doing ok friend. You keep strong
Thank you so much for posting this. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder a couple weeks ago (I've been struggling with it for awhile) and it's good to know there's other out there and I'm not alone with the feelings and thoughts I have.
Wow, this video is so enlightening Jonny. My dad suffered a mental illness and eventually took his life when I was only 10. Its something my family don't really talk too much about but having watched this video its helped me understand a bit more what was going through his head at that time and why he made certain choices. Thanks and all the best. Tim
Thanks for sharing your story Dylan, it's great to hear positive examples of recovery :) really good to know you're doing so well :)
That is truly awful..i'm so glad you're here to tell the tale. I hope things are better for you today. Keep strong
Hey Jonny! You are obviously a wonderful person! Thank you for caring for others by sharing yourself!
Thank you for your wonderful way to let us have a part in your journey. I am on my way to be a psychotherapist and your video has given me a big insight into the symptoms of schizoaffective disorder. I think that you are very brave and I hope a lot of people see your video and begin to dare to share their own problems and to help people who ahve problems themselves. Thank you so much.
Thorbjoern Maadhengis Thank-you and good luck on your journey. I'm sure you'll make a difference to so many people's lives.
That's awful..so sorry you've gone through this..i hope that having your diagnosis is now making a positive difference in your life. Keep strong
I think you are so brave to share your story. I know it will help many others afflicted with mental illness. thank you
Thank you for your honesty and bravery. I truly appreciate you reaching out to others and helping them to understand this illness. I'm very proud of you. Please be pround of yourself too. You are a beautiful person.
Thanks for giving hope to others. Just a little hope and a kind words can make the difference between dispair & suicide or recovery. Glad your still around & feeling better.
Thank-you Anthony. I'm sorry you were only diagnosed late. It must have been so very frustrating for you. I hope you're doing ok at the moment. Keep up the good fight!
Such an amazing video and thank you really much for opening up about your disorder. I myself have depression and was in tears when you talked about your experience. My parents don't belive it, but others are aware of it and noticed it themself. My brother convinced me to go to a therapist and also after I had a suicide attempt he talked to me about an hour to go to a mental hospital and seek help. What really got me in the video is when you said " I am not my illness.", noone is we are all human.
+Alina Mass check out my page, made videos for schizophrenia, ONLY if you're open minded to alternative methods.
Thankyou so much for this video. I'm 25 and I got diagnosed. I don't know much about this mental illness yet and I'm still not very well off. This is extremely helpful, even years later.
Dear Johny, human beings are our only support while we live our lives on earth... We are the only support for each other... That's why talking helps just as much as drugs... That's why when you trust someone you can be saved... I am here, on the other side of the world (somewhere in Eastern Europe, a small country Georgia) just in case you need me... to try to help you at any point... if I can... I appreciate your honesty... I appreciate your faith... I appreciate the person you are... You are wonderful...Thank you for daring to share... Thanks for caring.
From my mum:- Just watched this video, i can relate to you 100% and I have now been to the doctors after years and years and i just want to say thankyou for sharing as it meant so much to hear someone else's personal story, you are a true inspiration thankyou again ♡♡♡
"you are not your mental illness, you are you" i started crying when you said that because it just feels nice to hear i think?? it was just the best thing said right now
I really hope you are still recovering well and not suffering too much anymore, I am so sorry you had to go through such a terrible time. My best friend is currently hospitalized and they believe she may have schizoaffective disorder I will show her this I'm sure it will give her much hope.I I know in bad times SI and suicidal thoughts can come back or if you just want to vent I am here to talk to if you want:) Good luck with your recovery it sounds like you have done amazingly well
Thank you for articulating your story and offering hope to individuals and families challenged by serious mental illness.
Great short film, Thank you!
Your story was published in swedish newspapers and how you got help from a stranger over the bridge, and then tried to find the guy who almost saved your life .. How nice that the story ended happily :) Be strong!!
Thank-you for your message. I hope your son is improving all the time. It's such a tough illness, especially as it is so misunderstood in society. Keep strong, both you and him :)
This video was part of my inspiration to come clear about my own psychotic disorder. Thank you for sharing and letting all of in the MI community know that we're not alone.
That was really beautifully presented and produced. Thank you Jonny.
This is how we break down the stigma. This is how those who don't have the same experience can even begin to understand. Thank you so much for talking about your experience in this wonderful video.