4 Habits We Learn as Emotionally Neglected Children
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- čas přidán 17. 06. 2024
- If you experienced childhood emotional neglect, you might be living with these 4 habits.
In this video, I explore four habits that are commonly developed by individuals who experienced emotional neglect during their childhood.
Emotional neglect occurs when a parent consistently fails to respond to a child's emotional needs, whether through a lack of affection, ignoring emotional distress, or not acknowledging the child's mental well-being. Unlike physical neglect, emotional neglect is often invisible but can have profound and long-lasting effects.
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1. People pleasing
2. Pushing through (ignoring our own needs)
3. Overthinking everything
4. Trying to control everything
I learnt to be quiet. Please others so I could feel safe.
😮me too 😮and I AM 56 years and still trying to heal and not people please 😮
social anxiety...no identity....feeling you don't fit anywhere
This is a big CPTSD symptom. Look up Toxic Shame. It's not what you think it is from the heading. I avoided the heading for so long thinking this wasn't me because I'm not toxic.
@@AdamNPDSurvivor Thank you so much. Yes, so ingrained in my subconscious. I am working hard with a therapist and 12 step group on this ❤💙
@@sandy-intro that's great. So many people don't know what it is
All of them, plus overachiever with imposter syndrome, dissociation and partly amnesia about childhood events for ages. Never asked for anything, learned to have only minimum, overworked, highly sensitive to others, emotionally unavailable controlling double-faced mother addicted to meds, ignorant workaholic father (drunken he raged and gone mad and violent), bully sister. Youngest in the class, the best student, career, took their ignorance, blaming, shaming, lies. It's not even people-pleasing, i became their donor of energy and emotional garbage bin. Burnout at 27, health struggles and then I changed lifestyle. Now I'm 42 and learning to love myself. Plus overexplaining myself as trauma response. Lol. Thank you, your conferences helped me so much! Just want yo share that it's never too late and we can pause, have rest, seek help. But this pushing through piece really triggered me. I'm not native English speaker and the way between taught never give up had a long path of trouble, struggle and mistakes. Sometimes we need surrender and letting go so much ❤
I just wanted to say thank you for your comnent. Deeply reasonating foe me. ❤
@@karendonnelly808 thank you for reading, got emotional, could do it better but healing is messy so I leave it like that for us, survivors. Lots of grief for the losses but we are alive and voice giving to suppressed pain helps. Send you warm hearted hug and be kind to yourself!
I was well fed. Lived in a nice house and was well dressed. I was not wanted( my Gran told me) My father lived abroad for the first 7 years of my life and then worked away from home to get away from my mother. I was an only child. I realise now what a strong person I became at an early age I trusted no one.I relied on my gut feelings. I was lucky to marry young and should have disowned my parents. My biggest mistake was constantly trying to prove I was a nice successful person to my mother who hated me all her life. Never held me and ran me down to her siblings and anyone else who would listen to her about her horrible daughter. Her hatred intensified in Dementia.
As a woman with high sensitivity growing up in an alcoholic home, I learned all 4 habits. In my 70s I am finally learning how to meet my core needs myself... but it is a lot of work. Now doing your RESET program.
Another over-70 here, just now learning. It's never too late, right? Such an insightful video, thanks, Alex!
Oh I totally resonate, I’m the same with the same upbringing xx
Oh wow, l started crying and can’t stop. It’s v hard to admit you feel no purpose or value in life but to please others. It’s left me in black hole of feeling nothingless.
Oh my God!!! It’s me!
The 3 needs which were neglected + the habits I have learned to have!
And you are totally right: none of them help! They just help to ruin one’s self esteem!
Thank you soooooooo much for the helpful infos about the healing. 🙏🏻🌹
I was a people pleaser and pushed through. I also learned to stay under the radar to feel safe, to not shine.
Looking back I was definitely a people pleaser. I was the youngest of seven children to quite elderly parents. My parents always referred to me as ‘the baby’ which left me feeling I was more special to them. I felt my roll was to make them happy and not disappoint them in any way. There was very little money and I was a shy child who had major anxiety about our living conditions. I was really miserable but kept all my feelings to myself. I’ve suffered with low self esteem most of my life and I believe it was down to my childhood.
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Yeah all 4 for me, just came across the "pushing through" dynamic this week in therapy. Lot of conflicting emotions and blockages / stock energy.
All of them plus over achiever perfectionist who never felt good enough. Blended into the background to not be a target.
Oddly I became by father and my mothers emotional caretaker due to my mother’s handicap and my dad feeling overwhelmed. The burden was great and my father is still guilting us for not living near them but it’s not intentional but because of my husband’s occupation. I also became a silent people pleaser. My emotions weren’t acknowledged or valid as a child. I know my mother loved me but was mentally and physically handicapped so she couldn’t communicate in the way that I needed and my father was so absorbed in his own world and angry/depressed all the time.
Omgoodness! I resonate with all 4, but especially the pushing through and overthinking. Honestly refreshing to hear something that I have not heard before. Very insightful. Thank you!!
I became a people pleaser and very self-sufficient.
Well
Thank you
Very much
A few weeks ago I suddenly realised that I had and still have emotional neglect since early childhood.. And now I'm working thru..
Thank you
About " habits ", unhealthy habits - yeah, all 4 are present though part of them are in remission. Like people pleasing or controlling...
Thinking thru and pushing thru in some level are still present...
But it isn't some wonder.. I'm 64 years old and that is the first time when I have time, but not strength to do such work... Before it I just had to function as well as I could despite all odds
Deny emotions, push through, control, never feel safe
Yep, I learnt 1-4. Thanks Alex for your help on my healing journey
Thank you confronting but so helpful 🙏. It’s resonating all. I can add; health issues, hyper alertness, withdraw, avoiding issues to the list. It is a very long road to recovery. I wish every one good luck and the best wishes. We are strong and resilient 🙏💝
Gosh, all of them.
all 4! ty for sharing
Well defined.
Overthinking, cintroling, isolate, black and White projection
I learned to become invisible
I learn to be controlling and Tough on the outside so no one will ever hurt me again. What a mess.... and I am 67 this coming July 1. I feel so stupid.
All of them. But I cannot do tha5 anymore. Do not have the energy.
lack camnicution lack boundaries
❤