I would not put my son out but I have given him three options. I told my teenaged Son, he either go to College, trade school or get a job, but he will NOT be sitting around the house doing nothing.
I hated the way some of my relatives were put out of the house at 18 years old . I joint the military after two years of college, got married and we started our family. What I did with my children was after high school everyone was going to college or the military. My two weaker students went to community college and then transferred to four year colleges to complete their degree. My strongest student I sent to a top college and gave her my GI -Bill. I took classes for free while in the service to finish my degree. Everyone was allowed to live at home until 25, so after they graduated and found their jobs they were allowed to stay at home rent free and save their money. All three children are doing well two of them live together and the oldest lives close to them. I never take anything from my children, I even pay for our family vacation together. I love whatever time we can spend together. I tell my daughters that boring guys like their father makes the best husbands… lol.. I have one firefighter, teacher, and Marketing property manager
Children moving back home with their parents should be considered acceptable provided they have a well-thought out, 5 year plan to eventually branch out on their own. Although many think that once someone is over 18 they need to move out and be on their own, I've seen a number of situations where that was done and it resulted in those people constantly struggling and going into debt.
This is a great question. I'm a 55 year old woman (Gen X), single, never married, no children. I worked as an occupational therapist for 20 years so I have a lot of experience with this question and have seen a lot of different situations. Personally, I have lived on my own (meaning by myself or with roommates) since I was 21. But I realize today's environment is not what it was when I graduated from college in 1990. I have seen a lot of adult children live at home while they worked anywhere from 5-7 days per week to pay down school debt and/or save for a home of their own. I have also seen adult children live at home and contribute to the communal family situation while working full time and meeting their adult responsibilities. Under these conditions, I think it's fine to be living at home but I also think it's best to have your own living situation by the time you're 30. A lot of adult children use living at their parent's home as a launch pad into a better living situation (owning their own home, being able to afford a decent apartment, etc.) In this way, they can bypass living in crappy apartments and/or they don't have to spend $$$ to live with (potentially) difficult roommates. However, I don't think living at home is a good idea if an adult child is a failure to launch. In that case, the parents are enabling their adult child and generally the young adult is not fulfilling adult responsibilities. In this case, no one wins. Unfortunately, this happens a lot as a contingent of young people don't want to face the challenges life offers. Young men, in particular, are prone to this and if the parents allow them to live in their home indefinitely, it becomes a lifestyle that is hard to break. IMO, you need to train your kids early to be independent/interdependent. With all this said, resiliency is generally built by going through undesirable, difficult situations that last for a period of time (one year or more). In my experience, there is no substitute for this. People who come from an abusive household who not only survive but also thrive are the best at problem solving and dealing with whatever is thrown their way. However, for every one survivor who is ultimately successful, there are many more who (sadly) cave to the pressures of life. Now is the perfect time to build expectations with your daughter. I wish you all the best!
My 2 youngest are 24/26. They are not in school. I make them contribute 200 per month. Going up to 300 in july. There are rules they have to follow...like what time my door closes at night during the week and chores...WITHOUT me having to initiate their movement. I save some of it for them. The other I spend on my away time. Im scared that even at 300 they are quite comfy - so i am adding a few other stipulations, too. Im 46 and would have never. I was gone as soon as i could be and i love my mom, she's my 87yo bestie. But i wanted my own. Idk whats wrong with these kids😌
I think every situation is different based on the individual & circumstances. Only in the black community it's frowned upon if adult children are still living at home with their parents past a certain age. My only problem with living at home as an adult is sitting on your ass and not helping with the household expenses. Times are way different than from 50 - 60 years ago where once you graduate high school you're forced out the door. That's how it was when my mom was coming up. Myself, I'm an older millennial born disabled. I actually went to college got a degree but had a lot of roadblocks in my way. Being disabled and trying to do things like find a job, drive, etc., I was never able to get accomplished when I was younger. I'm at a point now I couldn't work if I wanted to. If I was working or had a car no way in hell would I live at home with either one of my parents. I understand living at home as an adult as long as you are financially contributing to the household or taking care of a sick parent. My thing once you start dating or having kids whether it be a man or woman it's time to move out.
So as you know, university never happened for me. I was kicked out of the house a bunch of times, and when I can’t make it out on my own, I come right back, and I’m threatened with being kicked out almost always. I’m almost 30 and the CPTSD is the only thing I know But yeah, I would love to strike out on my own. I don’t support the idea that somebody who has qualifications and income should continue to inhabit the nest. Oh, what I’d give, to trade places with such people. Great topic again, Ms. Paschal ❤🙏🏾
Don't know if you know any Latinos, but this is the normal. If we want to move out before marriage we get scolded and guilted into staying home. Unhappy Latinas who live with strict parents get pregnant just to get kicked out their house 🤣... I grew up with a single mother and an older sister so she got married before me. I wish I had gotten kicked out because I'm married now and I never experienced living alone and it was my biggest dream to do so😢. I was able to afford it so I didn't need to live at home it was more the guilt of staying with my single mother. I'm married now and my husband was a home owner, so even now I don't know what it's like to choose my own place. lol commenting just got me all sad🤣
It's a double-edged sword. I never married and had to leave home early because it was unstable. Had children with a guy that later was not worth it. I struggled being a single parent on my own, not able to afford the best places to live with my children. It was not fun, but the resilience from the experience made me a different kind of person. It's more like a warrior spirit. I never gave up. Now, I have completed my bachelor's degree, and things are looking up. I think 18 is too young to move out of your parent's house. That's post secondary school time and time to start thinking about your future as you are starting to mature into a young adult.
I think times are difficult for kids to get there own place these days, kids are not getting the pay that matching their education nowadays, but not all. I would let my children move back in my home. I don't think it's wrong if your children stay at home if the parents agree, my answer it's not wrong. Our culture do that. I don't hear other culture kicking there children out, just my opinion.
My daughter went to the military. She did her time and she moved back home. The problem I have with her being back home is that she has become so disrespectful and I can not deal with it at all. If she was respectful I would not put her out.
Greetings Helena from Sunny South Florida!!! Growing up we were told to get a job or trade to support ourselves. Military was never an option. I have a 23 year old daughter who can't wait to move out, but with the elevated cost of living, I don't want her move out and things don't work out. Then she may be fearful of that independence. I want her to have a fair chance of survival. I dont ask her for anything but I ask her to save and her money and build her credit so when things are easier when she can purchase a home. She's in Finance and learning a lot about the economy, savings and good money management which is a major plus. I think the new generation is being destroyed by the parents. When they are no longer around the kids end up in toxic relationships because they are trying to replace mommy or daddy. Some cant wash their own clothes or know how to pay bills. Be stronger and learn to hold your own no matter how hard it may be.
Hello Helena, hope all is well. Keep up the great work. My life story is very similar to yours, a very small town, military, college, university, became a professor, and all my adult kids have advance degrees, and a home to always return to if need be.
That's making them lazy. God forbid something happened to their parents what will they do? This is why a lot of these people now are entitled, spoiled, and have no desire to be responsible.
Yup, it’s an interesting phenomenon. I know “kids” (grown adults) in relationships or married and w/ children still living at mom and dads with no intention of moving.
The way things are going it’s not a good idea throwing your kids out let them leave when they ready . I left my parents house at 18 because I wanted to . Sometimes I kinda regret moving out soo young instead of waiting .
We should not force out children out of the house as soon as they become adults. It takes time for them to mature and figure out what they truly want to do with their life.
I chose to move out but I was working and going to college. Stayed working to get into management but didn't finish. I would have Stayed in schools but needed money.
I'm 40yrs. old, and after I got divorced, my 7yr. old son and I moved in with my parents, because I can't afford to live on my own. I'm a "go with the flow" type of person. Wherever God puts me, I just deal with it because I trust God's plan. Turns out, God's plan worked out fine for me, because my parents can barely walk, and I didn't know their health was fading until I moved back in with them. My son and I help my parents all the time, and they help me to take care of my son. I live rent free with my parents, and I'm stacking up my own money. Maybe my parents don't mind that my son and I moved in with them, because I'm an only child. I always heard that parents spoil their "only child" (LOL!), but I'm not really sure about that predicament. My son and I have been living with my parents for 7yrs. We're all one big happy African-American family. All I can say is, trust God's plan. 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽
There is alot I could type but to keep it simple. If your adult child is handling their business I say no up until a certain point. At 18 no especially if you as a parent/guardian have not prepped them for life. Granted you dont want them there until they are in their 40's though. You have to have boundaries though and make them realize at one point they will leave.
I wouldn't mind my 22 year old son staying home but he does not respect boundaries. I've asked him to stop smoking marijuana in my garage, don't have company at my house and clean the bedroom and bathroom. At this point I'm tired of talking, I want him out and I want him out real bad. I was at peace when he left but now my peace is so disrupted. I love my son and I encourage him daily to get his own place. I let him stay hear but I sure as hell don't make it easy for him. I make him pay me rent, He has to contribute to groceries and household good, etc. I honestly want him in his own place.
I'm so sorry and I'm here with you. I had to make my middle stop raping. I detected that fruity smell. If you don't mind...how much does he contribute... I struggle with making my girls contribute at all...certainly with setting a number. But they've stayed so long now at 24/26, not in school so they have to contribute something.
My brothers son moved back in to hos persents with their family. He was born in 85. He is very responsible but cane under a serious employment failure. Time will tell how he comes back but you have to help youre children best you can cause in the reverse you might find needing them in your 80s+!
Great conversation. I have foreign friends where the women don't leave the family home unless they're getting married. As for me, I needed more time, but the hostility in my home forced me to leave and learn hard lessons early. Am I better for it? I don't know.
The situation was a little different for me. I felt like I had to push her out because in the eyes of government, if they live with you and have their own child they want to know your assets and income. I don't think thats fair, but my daughter could not get the resources she needed for her child while living with me. Long story short, she's been back 2 different occasions since then. Now expecting a 2nd kid and the state is still trying to apply the same rule. I'm sorry but it's one thing to take care of the kids you created, but when they have kids of there own they need help to support and can only get it by not being under your roof is a whole different discussion.
In some cases young adults might be better off living at home while dating. This could allow other family members to help assess suitors and also eliminate abusive partners that target women who are isolated from their support system. A respectable man would appreciate a woman who has close family ties and has chosen to remain in the nest till marriage. Let’s get back to Godly basics. For those that want full independence, go for it and move out!
This is a personal decision that should be addressed case by case. Each family may have different dynamics. Adult children at home with consent of parents is absolutely fine. As far as leaving the nest and finding a mate for support in old age or illness, another very personal choice here. In one of your videos you spoke on the challenge of finding a non-cheating heterosexual mate so with the odds somewhat against black women having success with that, I don’t see the need to promote moving out. For adults that remain at home perhaps they are better off staying put till Mr. Right comes along. Let’s not judge those who choose to continue living with their family unit
So my mom forced me out when I graduated HS. After HS I went to college, graduated, and then went to the Army Reserves. After my initial military training, I moved back home with my mom. I was salty she made me pay the light bill every month so after a year I moved out. I lived on my own for two years and while I was looking to relocate for another place my mom extended the invitation for me to come home and save money. Well this time I am still paying the light bill (lmao) but sooooooo grateful for the opportunity to save and still have FUN in THIS Biden economy. I am 27 y/o and wholeheartedly believe that kids should stay with their parents until marriage. 💯
I believe that's a disadvantage to anyone that lives with their parents at that age. I strongly believe a person should GO AND GROW. That's my two cents 😊
It all depends, because in my family we all respect each other, we all contribute, we all have privacy and we prosper together. Sometimes it's a cultural thing and the families all live under one roof. But I feel if a child is not prepared to be independent, I disagree just tossing them out because part of parenting is to prepare your child to be a successful adult no matter the age. If they are not prepared maybe take a step back and look to see what may have gone wrong to justify the incompetency or the unreadiness. For example did they get babied and now are expected to be independent adults over night. Did they ever get the support and guidance to job search or save money? Was the child allowed to drop out of school? Did they get the discipline needed to be successful? Some parents feel at fault and just allow the child to live at home.
As a you I was provided those same 3 choices at the age of 18 and I am a millennial. My children I have a different set of rules that I believe will give them a better start in life. They can stay until age 25. After that you must leave.😂🤣🤣 Our poor families did the best they could and we are strong people as a result of their way of doing things.
We have one 22 daughter left who we're trying to guide and support her with getting in her own. place. We look forward to being empty nesters. Finding herself steady employment is where we are now with her. Military isn't an option. And our home is her home if she needs to return from any possible set back
A little insight he hasn't been in school since he was 17 years old, I tried to get him in Job corps he did not want to go there. I tried to get him to get his hi-set he wasn't going to class and he did not go take the test. I've sent him numerous job leads and he continuously tells me he doesn't want to work in this field or at that field. I even set him up to do housing applications (public housing) and he's telling me that he doesn't want to live in this town, he's not making any effort to better himself or go on with his future plans.
It depends on the kind of relationship you have. I think it is perfectly fine so long as they abide by the rules. Especially the girls. If they save money,they will leave generational wealth for their children if they have them.
I would not put my son out but I have given him three options. I told my teenaged Son, he either go to College, trade school or get a job, but he will NOT be sitting around the house doing nothing.
I hated the way some of my relatives were put out of the house at 18 years old . I joint the military after two years of college, got married and we started our family. What I did with my children was after high school everyone was going to college or the military. My two weaker students went to community college and then transferred to four year colleges to complete their degree. My strongest student I sent to a top college and gave her my GI -Bill. I took classes for free while in the service to finish my degree. Everyone was allowed to live at home until 25, so after they graduated and found their jobs they were allowed to stay at home rent free and save their money. All three children are doing well two of them live together and the oldest lives close to them. I never take anything from my children, I even pay for our family vacation together. I love whatever time we can spend together. I tell my daughters that boring guys like their father makes the best husbands… lol.. I have one firefighter, teacher, and Marketing property manager
I have two squatters in my house, I gave them the move out date, but if they’re not ready, I’ll have to help them get ready. 😎
Children moving back home with their parents should be considered acceptable provided they have a well-thought out, 5 year plan to eventually branch out on their own. Although many think that once someone is over 18 they need to move out and be on their own, I've seen a number of situations where that was done and it resulted in those people constantly struggling and going into debt.
Most young ones around the world stay at home until they get married or can afford to live by themselves.
This is a great question. I'm a 55 year old woman (Gen X), single, never married, no children. I worked as an occupational therapist for 20 years so I have a lot of experience with this question and have seen a lot of different situations. Personally, I have lived on my own (meaning by myself or with roommates) since I was 21. But I realize today's environment is not what it was when I graduated from college in 1990. I have seen a lot of adult children live at home while they worked anywhere from 5-7 days per week to pay down school debt and/or save for a home of their own. I have also seen adult children live at home and contribute to the communal family situation while working full time and meeting their adult responsibilities. Under these conditions, I think it's fine to be living at home but I also think it's best to have your own living situation by the time you're 30. A lot of adult children use living at their parent's home as a launch pad into a better living situation (owning their own home, being able to afford a decent apartment, etc.) In this way, they can bypass living in crappy apartments and/or they don't have to spend $$$ to live with (potentially) difficult roommates.
However, I don't think living at home is a good idea if an adult child is a failure to launch. In that case, the parents are enabling their adult child and generally the young adult is not fulfilling adult responsibilities. In this case, no one wins. Unfortunately, this happens a lot as a contingent of young people don't want to face the challenges life offers. Young men, in particular, are prone to this and if the parents allow them to live in their home indefinitely, it becomes a lifestyle that is hard to break. IMO, you need to train your kids early to be independent/interdependent. With all this said, resiliency is generally built by going through undesirable, difficult situations that last for a period of time (one year or more). In my experience, there is no substitute for this. People who come from an abusive household who not only survive but also thrive are the best at problem solving and dealing with whatever is thrown their way. However, for every one survivor who is ultimately successful, there are many more who (sadly) cave to the pressures of life.
Now is the perfect time to build expectations with your daughter. I wish you all the best!
Well said 👏🏾
My 2 youngest are 24/26. They are not in school. I make them contribute 200 per month. Going up to 300 in july.
There are rules they have to follow...like what time my door closes at night during the week and chores...WITHOUT me having to initiate their movement.
I save some of it for them. The other I spend on my away time.
Im scared that even at 300 they are quite comfy - so i am adding a few other stipulations, too.
Im 46 and would have never. I was gone as soon as i could be and i love my mom, she's my 87yo bestie. But i wanted my own. Idk whats wrong with these kids😌
I think every situation is different based on the individual & circumstances.
Only in the black community it's frowned upon if adult children are still living at home with their parents past a certain age. My only problem with living at home as an adult is sitting on your ass and not helping with the household expenses. Times are way different than from 50 - 60 years ago where once you graduate high school you're forced out the door. That's how it was when my mom was coming up.
Myself, I'm an older millennial born disabled. I actually went to college got a degree but had a lot of roadblocks in my way. Being disabled and trying to do things like find a job, drive, etc., I was never able to get accomplished when I was younger. I'm at a point now I couldn't work if I wanted to. If I was working or had a car no way in hell would I live at home with either one of my parents. I understand living at home as an adult as long as you are financially contributing to the household or taking care of a sick parent.
My thing once you start dating or having kids whether it be a man or woman it's time to move out.
So as you know, university never happened for me. I was kicked out of the house a bunch of times, and when I can’t make it out on my own, I come right back, and I’m threatened with being kicked out almost always. I’m almost 30 and the CPTSD is the only thing I know
But yeah, I would love to strike out on my own. I don’t support the idea that somebody who has qualifications and income should continue to inhabit the nest. Oh, what I’d give, to trade places with such people.
Great topic again, Ms. Paschal ❤🙏🏾
Don't know if you know any Latinos, but this is the normal. If we want to move out before marriage we get scolded and guilted into staying home. Unhappy Latinas who live with strict parents get pregnant just to get kicked out their house 🤣... I grew up with a single mother and an older sister so she got married before me. I wish I had gotten kicked out because I'm married now and I never experienced living alone and it was my biggest dream to do so😢. I was able to afford it so I didn't need to live at home it was more the guilt of staying with my single mother. I'm married now and my husband was a home owner, so even now I don't know what it's like to choose my own place. lol commenting just got me all sad🤣
It's a double-edged sword. I never married and had to leave home early because it was unstable. Had children with a guy that later was not worth it. I struggled being a single parent on my own, not able to afford the best places to live with my children. It was not fun, but the resilience from the experience made me a different kind of person. It's more like a warrior spirit. I never gave up. Now, I have completed my bachelor's degree, and things are looking up. I think 18 is too young to move out of your parent's house. That's post secondary school time and time to start thinking about your future as you are starting to mature into a young adult.
I think times are difficult for kids to get there own place these days, kids are not getting the pay that matching their education nowadays, but not all. I would let my children move back in my home. I don't think it's wrong if your children stay at home if the parents agree, my answer it's not wrong. Our culture do that. I don't hear other culture kicking there children out, just my opinion.
My daughter went to the military. She did her time and she moved back home. The problem I have with her being back home is that she has become so disrespectful and I can not deal with it at all. If she was respectful I would not put her out.
Greetings Helena from Sunny South Florida!!! Growing up we were told to get a job or trade to support ourselves. Military was never an option. I have a 23 year old daughter who can't wait to move out, but with the elevated cost of living, I don't want her move out and things don't work out. Then she may be fearful of that independence. I want her to have a fair chance of survival. I dont ask her for anything but I ask her to save and her money and build her credit so when things are easier when she can purchase a home. She's in Finance and learning a lot about the economy, savings and good money management which is a major plus. I think the new generation is being destroyed by the parents. When they are no longer around the kids end up in toxic relationships because they are trying to replace mommy or daddy. Some cant wash their own clothes or know how to pay bills. Be stronger and learn to hold your own no matter how hard it may be.
Hello Helena, hope all is well. Keep up the great work. My life story is very similar to yours, a very small town, military, college, university, became a professor, and all my adult kids have advance degrees, and a home to always return to if need be.
That's making them lazy. God forbid something happened to their parents what will they do?
This is why a lot of these people now are entitled, spoiled, and have no desire to be responsible.
Yup, it’s an interesting phenomenon. I know “kids” (grown adults) in relationships or married and w/ children still living at mom and dads with no intention of moving.
The way things are going it’s not a good idea throwing your kids out let them leave when they ready . I left my parents house at 18 because I wanted to . Sometimes I kinda regret moving out soo young instead of waiting .
We should not force out children out of the house as soon as they become adults. It takes time for them to mature and figure out what they truly want to do with their life.
Think it depends on the child
I chose to move out but I was working and going to college. Stayed working to get into management but didn't finish. I would have Stayed in schools but needed money.
God Bless our children, man, 29 just moving out what the, they dont say you got to move no more
Yes, I did minus the stress of leaving
I'm 40yrs. old, and after I got divorced, my 7yr. old son and I moved in with my parents, because I can't afford to live on my own. I'm a "go with the flow" type of person. Wherever God puts me, I just deal with it because I trust God's plan. Turns out, God's plan worked out fine for me, because my parents can barely walk, and I didn't know their health was fading until I moved back in with them. My son and I help my parents all the time, and they help me to take care of my son. I live rent free with my parents, and I'm stacking up my own money. Maybe my parents don't mind that my son and I moved in with them, because I'm an only child. I always heard that parents spoil their "only child" (LOL!), but I'm not really sure about that predicament. My son and I have been living with my parents for 7yrs. We're all one big happy African-American family. All I can say is, trust God's plan.
🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽
There is alot I could type but to keep it simple. If your adult child is handling their business I say no up until a certain point. At 18 no especially if you as a parent/guardian have not prepped them for life. Granted you dont want them there until they are in their 40's though. You have to have boundaries though and make them realize at one point they will leave.
I wouldn't mind my 22 year old son staying home but he does not respect boundaries. I've asked him to stop smoking marijuana in my garage, don't have company at my house and clean the bedroom and bathroom. At this point I'm tired of talking, I want him out and I want him out real bad. I was at peace when he left but now my peace is so disrupted. I love my son and I encourage him daily to get his own place. I let him stay hear but I sure as hell don't make it easy for him. I make him pay me rent, He has to contribute to groceries and household good, etc. I honestly want him in his own place.
I'm so sorry and I'm here with you. I had to make my middle stop raping. I detected that fruity smell.
If you don't mind...how much does he contribute...
I struggle with making my girls contribute at all...certainly with setting a number. But they've stayed so long now at 24/26, not in school so they have to contribute something.
Sadly, you got to let the world teach him. A grown child will never disrupt my peace.
Speak the truth....
My brothers son moved back in to hos persents with their family. He was born in 85. He is very responsible but cane under a serious employment failure. Time will tell how he comes back but you have to help youre children best you can cause in the reverse you might find needing them in your 80s+!
Great conversation. I have foreign friends where the women don't leave the family home unless they're getting married. As for me, I needed more time, but the hostility in my home forced me to leave and learn hard lessons early. Am I better for it? I don't know.
The situation was a little different for me. I felt like I had to push her out because in the eyes of government, if they live with you and have their own child they want to know your assets and income. I don't think thats fair, but my daughter could not get the resources she needed for her child while living with me. Long story short, she's been back 2 different occasions since then. Now expecting a 2nd kid and the state is still trying to apply the same rule. I'm sorry but it's one thing to take care of the kids you created, but when they have kids of there own they need help to support and can only get it by not being under your roof is a whole different discussion.
In some cases young adults might be better off living at home while dating. This could allow other family members to help assess suitors and also eliminate abusive partners that target women who are isolated from their support system. A respectable man would appreciate a woman who has close family ties and has chosen to remain in the nest till marriage. Let’s get back to Godly basics. For those that want full independence, go for it and move out!
Navy ⚓️, work for cruise liners 🛳, college, take a financial class, 😊
Now being over 30 with no intentions of moving is a different story...lol
This is a personal decision that should be addressed case by case. Each family may have different dynamics. Adult children at home with consent of parents is absolutely fine. As far as leaving the nest and finding a mate for support in old age or illness, another very personal choice here. In one of your videos you spoke on the challenge of finding a non-cheating heterosexual mate so with the odds somewhat against black women having success with that, I don’t see the need to promote moving out. For adults that remain at home perhaps they are better off staying put till Mr. Right comes along. Let’s not judge those who choose to continue living with their family unit
So my mom forced me out when I graduated HS. After HS I went to college, graduated, and then went to the Army Reserves. After my initial military training, I moved back home with my mom. I was salty she made me pay the light bill every month so after a year I moved out. I lived on my own for two years and while I was looking to relocate for another place my mom extended the invitation for me to come home and save money. Well this time I am still paying the light bill (lmao) but sooooooo grateful for the opportunity to save and still have FUN in THIS Biden economy. I am 27 y/o and wholeheartedly believe that kids should stay with their parents until marriage. 💯
I believe that's a disadvantage to anyone that lives with their parents at that age. I strongly believe a person should GO AND GROW. That's my two cents 😊
It all depends, because in my family we all respect each other, we all contribute, we all have privacy and we prosper together. Sometimes it's a cultural thing and the families all live under one roof. But I feel if a child is not prepared to be independent, I disagree just tossing them out because part of parenting is to prepare your child to be a successful adult no matter the age. If they are not prepared maybe take a step back and look to see what may have gone wrong to justify the incompetency or the unreadiness. For example did they get babied and now are expected to be independent adults over night. Did they ever get the support and guidance to job search or save money? Was the child allowed to drop out of school? Did they get the discipline needed to be successful? Some parents feel at fault and just allow the child to live at home.
As a you I was provided those same 3 choices at the age of 18 and I am a millennial. My children I have a different set of rules that I believe will give them a better start in life. They can stay until age 25. After that you must leave.😂🤣🤣 Our poor families did the best they could and we are strong people as a result of their way of doing things.
We have one 22 daughter left who we're trying to guide and support her with getting in her own. place. We look forward to being empty nesters. Finding herself steady employment is where we are now with her. Military isn't an option. And our home is her home if she needs to return from any possible set back
Gave my son the option to get a job and finish school and he's still sitting in that room. He just turned 21 in Feb. Any options?
A little insight he hasn't been in school since he was 17 years old, I tried to get him in Job corps he did not want to go there. I tried to get him to get his hi-set he wasn't going to class and he did not go take the test. I've sent him numerous job leads and he continuously tells me he doesn't want to work in this field or at that field. I even set him up to do housing applications (public housing) and he's telling me that he doesn't want to live in this town, he's not making any effort to better himself or go on with his future plans.
I'm just sharing
It depends on the kind of relationship you have. I think it is perfectly fine so long as they abide by the rules. Especially the girls. If they save money,they will leave generational wealth for their children if they have them.