"This Was A KEPT SECRET By Monks" - How To Achieve SELF-MASTERY in 2023 | Jay Shetty
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- čas přidán 16. 06. 2024
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On Today's Episode:
Being in a romantic relationship can go from feeling like an incredible high to something totally frustrating. You look at your partner and wonder what’s wrong with them, why can’t they understand what you’re saying, and why do they do things that drive you crazy?
Often, relationships go south because both of the people in the relationship have things to work through and have expectations of the other person being able to work around all of their baggage and trauma without much communication of what’s actually going on.
Jay Shetty has lived the life of a monk, and as a life coach, podcaster, speaker and best selling author, he’s been able to bring his learnings and his experience to people around the world. His latest book, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find, It Keep It, and Let It Go addresses what it looks like to figure out love for ourselves and bring that into every kind of relationship we have.
In this conversation with Tom, Jay talks about the things we accept as currency of love because we haven’t defined and truly understood or experienced love with ourselves first. Sitting with yourself, listening and understanding your inner dialogue and self-talk is a major part of this journey to finding healthy long lasting love.
How much time have you taken to yourself between relationships with yourself?
Check out Jay Shetty’s latest book, 8 Rules of Love: www.amazon.com/Rules-Love-How...
QUOTES:
“I’ve still not found a better solution to self-awareness than solitude.”
“We’ve lost the art of self-talk and self-dialogue.”
“That’s why sitting with your thoughts for 15 minutes is really hard because there’s nothing to numb it.”
“If walk into a relationship and you don’t know who you are, you don’t know what you need or what you want and what you want and what you’re building and what you’re creating, you’re basically going to hope that the other person is going to answer all of those questions for you, or you’re going to outsource that inadequacy to them to make you feel worthy.”
“We accept the currency of attention as love. We accept the currency of validation as love, [...] because we ourselves haven’t defined and experienced what love looks like on our own.”
Follow Jay Shetty:
Website: jayshetty.me/
CZcams: / @jayshetty
Twitter: / jayshettyiw
Instagram: / jayshetty
Facebook: / jayshettyiw
Podcast: on-purpose-with-jay-shetty.si...
WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!
and what piss me off and get the benefits is the older people who already in relationship that's why their relationship last longer because they take the energy and sources of the other relationship that they just broke up
😴
I am learning you tube and comment Tom if you can see all or one of my comments good. If not I think this one is more direct to you because many heal from your podcasts. I love Jay and you. I am happy you help me brother. I will help help both of you. Soon thank you for being you!
Hahahaaa doom scroll 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂that dark humor hurts and made me laugh. Lol
Damn this was 6days ago. Where’s my future. Ahhhhrrrrrrr. Ok I’m catching up though so I’m not gonna beat myself up. I’m only 6days behind instead of 6 lives lol. lil’help please syncing periods and dominant female holy shit my brain just exploded that happened in my house. You just exposed it. What the hell!!!!
Everything you want is within you, the strength,the courage and the persistence to change your life. You have to look within and find it.
I’ve heard this over and over but I just don’t feel it inside me. My mind creates the negative but not the positive. :/
" *Self worth doesn't come from affirmations or positive thinking; it comes from breaking through barriers you didn't think you could break through.* " Never has this lesson been more important than in the age of "choose happiness" nonsense. Respect needs to be earned, and self-respect is no different.
At some point in my 20’s I realized that each Saturday night I was regularly spending the equivalent an entire working day going from bar to bar - not to mention the way that drinking affected me the next day (and likely throughout the week). You can accomplish a lot if you cut out alcohol.
czcams.com/video/Nfu4j7EIGqs/video.html
💯❤
I think affirmations and some positive thinking will definitely help you break through those barriers. Most people out there repeat their negative thinking and break through absolutely nothing.
@@kenleb1224 I don't. I think they're useless and empty if they're not supported by reality and by your actual behavior. And that's at best. At worst it leads to delusion. If somebody else, looking at your life objectively, wouldn't say those things about you, then you shouldn't be trying to kid yourself into thinking they're true. Earn those claims, then you won't have to say them to yourself in the mirror to trick yourself into believing them. The believing part will just happen naturally.
WORD. Solitude is where it's at when we want to learn about true LOVE within. Once we have achieved complete peace, satisfaction, confidence and happiness with ourselves, only then can we give love the right way to someone else. PURE. UNCONDITIONAL. Thank you Jay, for confirming that!
34:03 I had to learn this lesson the hard way. I went down the rabbit hole of positive thinking and self love-without putting in the hard work. I loved myself into inaction and mediocrity. I loved myself right out of a job-with people who genuinely cared about me. ❤
I am going through this right now. I just turned down a job because of it.
I’m turning to God and realizing that having a healthy amount of fear and stress is actually good. The first verse I saw when I opened my Bible back up was God’s “Reward for Obedience”
This definitely resonates.
Love all of Jay’s answers & his response to some of Tom’s question. It’s a humbling to see jay being so positive about,well,almost everything
Listening on spotify and I had to come to the channel to comment. I LOVE the discourse that you and Jay have. I first discoved him on your first sit down and have been following ever since. I've recently gotten the Calm app and love starting my day with the Daily Jay. I can't be the only person who would love if you guys did a mini series together. The way your conversations flow is so natural and I love the perspectives you share and how you disagree. Keep up the amazing work! 👏🏾 🧡🧡
This is such a beautiful discussion that many people need to hear! Absolutely enjoyed listening to this and will be sharing with as many people as I can.
With kids you never regret having them but possibly regret not having them. To each their own. I’m watching you both and thinking about how you would be wonderful parents just bc of your thinking. Also though the impact your children could have on the world. Just by being raised by emotional intelligent parents and ppl who worked out their stuff. A lot of us don’t do that and all your shit from childhood gets brought up and we have to heal ourselves while raising children and it’s hard. Healing is hard either way and so is being a parent.
I am up between 3 and 4 AM every morning and guard that time jealously. It is also my creative time. I like others around but prefer the solitude not only for introspection and examination, but for the ability to go in any creative direction your mind takes you.
Complete feel u on that shit
Great discussion. Thank you both. 🙏 I almost never commentin social media, but I have to this time. The story about Buddha and a flower is very powerful because majority of us think about finding love as finding someone to love us, but love is not about taking it is about giving - how much love are we able to give. And loving your children and getting back that love is totally different dimension of love one is unable to experience in any other way or relationship. It is more like blessing. My wife and I tried for 20 years and now we are proud parents of 11 year old son, so I know what am I talking about. If that isn’t your final decission, you shoul have a child. That would be the best possible way to find your real purpose, love, blessing and much more.
This channel is so amazing. Can't keep it off of auto play lately. Been absorbing this passively & gardening something else which I have never done. Also took some notes from these videos, I don't think I've fully implemented anything except for diet which I started prior to the videos from watching doctors videos.
I appreciated how you guys respectfully disagreed on some things and used those moments of difference in opinion to teach. Wow!🙌🏽❤
It's so important to know how your body reacts to incoming information like it needs to be taken care so quickly. I have ADHD and lots of stress problems. But I always know my thinking is off from the real life moment things.
Love Jay Shetty cuz he says things i can relate to n gives great info! Love his "wish"!!! His compassion for everyone is amazing n i feel the same way.
Really great interview, I would find myself scrolling around on my phone while listening, a little adhd to be frank, but I will find myself getting hooked back every time. Really moving stuff, Tom you did it again.
Tom, you and Jay slipped over into the 5th dimension with this one. Wow!!! I will be drawing from this interview for a very long time. Thank you.
These are some really heavy perspective changers hitting me about 'trust' right around the 1 hour mark. Thank you for sharing this conversation🙏✨
Truly amazing stuff... that statement about the rose is absolutely brilliant!!!! Salute to you both. Continued success to all.
Two great minds sharing great ideas. If one can master oneself, one can master anything 🌟🙌
I love how exciting Jay gets when he is talking from the Heart. I get the same way. I just push more people to have these type of conversations. Just love this conversation between them. 😊
Agreed n I def love those conversations more than anything too
What you guys talk about is really fascinating some of the things you have spoken about have made me think a lot harder and deeply about what I want in life in general so shout out to you guys continue serving
Two man with amazing comunication skills. Inspiring. Thank you!
This was a very enlightening interview Tom, I loved the questions, the engagement and the thought process. Very intrigued by the last bit of the interview, I would love to see more of it, talking about the after life, consciousness and what we believe about being Spirit having a physical experience. Loved it thoroughly👊
I was waiting for a second visit of the Monk him self ☺️
Thank you Tom 🙏🏾
Perfect combo, I have always loved it when Tom interviews Jay.
From the first one to this third..all your interviews require one to grab a pen and a note book
I LOVE this episode! I’m just finding the awesomeness of Jay Sherry. This is good.
Tom, I want to binge-watch all your amazing interviews! I guess I need a year in solitude.
discipline 7/10
Working w/ Mentors now & constantly watching & listening to self help! including books
Enjoyed every moment of this conversation. So good. Respectful. I appreciated the varying perspectives and found value in both. Thank you both for the dialogue. It was well worth the investment of my time. Thank you Thank you thank you
New set up I like it helps you communicate and connect better , and allows you to have a fluent “ just hanging out talking “ feel to it and guides you into a rabbit whole 😊
Jay, you were my "random" voice today. Thank you!
I've been following Jay for a while now and he hits the spot every time. Such a nice humble reminder to prioritise understanding yourself! Every good relationship needs two INDEPENDENT people who are willing to support each other - NOT two dependent people who will break if the other one leaves - this becomes unstable and frustrating for both parties, extremely quickly!
So true brother!
@@mohamm3d312 not rly lol
I think some level of dependence is acc. very healthy!
Well said man, self-realisation before God-realisation
@@storyarch1084 stop hating Top g!
The last 10 minutes needs a part II. I have so many questions. Would love to hear more about Jay's hypothesis.
Great dialog today. Alot of different beliefs of how it works in real life situations. Im also married 30 years with 10 years of courtship. We didn't know what we were doing but we did it together and made things work. These days there to many people getting lost in other people's stuff. Be your own family and teach your family values and traditions. All the other stiff doesn't matter
one of the realest conversations so far ...merci xx
Those trust levels got me!! So true!!!
What a powerful message. I love the flower analogy❤❤
Great that Tom called him out on that "10 minutes" per week thing. I believe that daily practice is essential to build a solid foundation in self-awareness.
I love it Tom, the lack of ritual in our lives is a problem.
Could you please share some of the books that you are reading?
What a phenomenal discussion, thank you both 🙏🏽
czcams.com/video/Nfu4j7EIGqs/video.html
Mark Watson, what hit me was living a strategic life with a spiritual lense . This was such an enlightened message.
I love that jay said I’ll take back how I said that bc it put it in a box and made one things he was wrong where he wasn’t where as there’s so much depth to go at your pace
Hi Tom, I really like your work. The podcast's are really pleasant to watch. I learned a great deal, about, practically everything. Watching your show's. I really hope that you like making them, as mush as we like watching them. You really had a big impact on me, and I am really looking forward for the next episodes. Love your work. And Thank You. :)
❤ thank you. I love you both for what you do. I’m so grateful that I get to spend time with you like this without ever even knowing you in person I’ve learned so much from the both of you as I watch a lot of both of your stuff along with Joe Dispenza and Mel Robbins, you’ve all had a huge impact on my life. Along with The School of Greatness and Ed Mylett.
How much fun you’re having is way more important than how many people are there!!
Started following Jay even before his book Think like a Monk, and I always enjoy his charisma 😊
Great video, love all the insight shared about meditation, Life, Love !
I wish that, I could have his brain. 😂 I love the way jay talks and think amazing!
Wise words love that video.
I work in a mental institution and have often thought, what is the difference between a thought and hearing voices...
If you say your thoughts, you are okay, but what if you have heard the term voices since childhood, then you can end up in the closed ward
Loved the discussion. Usually Jay talks and the other person agrees.. but this conversation was different. There were many counter points and the resulting conversation was really really interesting
Thank you guys ❤
Loved your perspective on marriage Tom, I wish all men had that level of respect and commitment to honor the marriage.
So glad this came on my feed this morning. Every morning it’s my body that starts up. Eye flashes, shoulder pain, ear ringing - and I know it’s repressed emotions, negativity, fear, and the worst part is I feel like I can’t change it. I’ve studied Joe Dispenza, Eckhart Tolle, David Hawkins, Dennis Simsek and I can’t seem to change my thoughts and bodily issues. 🆘...!
Have you done Hawkins letting go technique?
It may not make sense that by sitting and doing nothing for fifteen minutes a day, you will be healed.
consider not repressing your emotion but instead acknowledge then, reflect on them ( cry, scream if you need to) then replace them with something that you truly desire, remember a clog toilet will not go down just by flushing, sometimes a plunder is needed- we are who we think we are, no more , no less, who are you?
Great information
Great discussion!
Tom, think back before you got it together or at least the pathway there. That is why quiet time is stressful for a lot of people. I'm there right now. I've started popping my airpods in even in the store so I don't have to think. Not good. But recognizing it is. Baby steps.
Imagine your life is in chaos. Then sit alone with your thoughts. It is overwhelming. It is fear! I'm working on facing that fear. It is difficult.
Awesome. Just what I was ready to hear this relaxing Saturday morning-hey, what about finding a special space to sit with myself and an timed alarm, without external stimuli?
I was married 35 years till I became a widow, we got married barefooted, in simple clothes and with our family and friends. We had our hands bound for two days, and we drank wine. It was beautiful.
Admirable speech l love and appreciate my favourite speaker Jay genius l love his speech very much.
This guy was on your show when I first discovered you. I wish my limits were further. I’m feeling it hard that I’m not doing well what I set out to do with new job and two classes. All are suffering. I fear I might have to start at the beginning again….
I love this: "The more you spend on your wedding, the more likely you are to divorce earlier". We didn't have a wedding, so I guess we are forever.
I LOVE BOTH OF YOU SOO MUCH
Really rich discussion!
was funny to see how you couldn’t understand how people would be scared to be alone with their thoughts, goes to show how strong your mind is! I know a lot of people who hate meditating because of scary experiences or thoughts they have when they try to meditate. Kind of a trippy idea but totally a thing!
Love this episode from 1:18, really awesome, never heard two guys talking about something like this 🙃💓🤩🙌😋
Totally agree on the disruption of the algorithm I see mental now and slowed down. The song I compare it to is 4.2 seconds. The video starts as a defining of the next 4.2 seconds all this will be in the video that will play a song for 4min and .20sec and you see so many things that was in the video but your brain doesn’t pic it up until you watch it again and again. It’s epic visually and considering it mentally mixed with teaching humanity to with their brain listen to your body mind soul and spirit to slow down 4.20
min and recognizing we all need to slow down.@tom and @@jay
Just started listening and I feel it’s going to be great, happy Tuesday, stay hard
Me too ✨
I met Jesus.. a totally different thought from the life that I was living. I’ve learned that all wisdom comes from Him, whether you know, love Him or not. I love listening to Toms guest and this one here, Jay is a favorite.. Don’t stop seeking at the monks.. He might just be seeking Jay and Tom too🥰
I would love to educate you guys through my experience and millions of other people that share the same insight. Tom there is an afterlife, and the best part about it is that we can visit it before we pass. We often neglect the power of guided meditation, binaural frequencies, creating the “OHM” sound from within our ROOTS. I got up to 2.5 hours of deep meditation before I was able to train myself to leave the physical & return. This practice is called Astral Projection or OOBE.
The thumbnail to this suggests there's no limit to Jay Shetty's bangs. (j/k I kid... totally love these guys!)
Love the videos there is great healing vadic practices
Eye-opening! Thank you!
Self love or love period is about perspective. Everyone has a different journey in life. No one loves the same because of perspective.
Job suffered unspeakably, but never lost sight of The Greater Good and He was the only Man ever to be called Gods Friend.
Im here to learn from Jay, love his response to the masculine feminine situation. I agree, souls. I am so glad he got to say this because anytime ive heard this podcast its one thing i cant get down with how he defines sexes so strictly. Imo humans are JUST vehicles for souls with all sorts of energy. That is from a spiritual aspect. I see you Jay.🕉🙏🏼
I think people are afraid of their thoughts because if they find out something negative that needs to be changed, then they HAVE to do something about it, and change is terrifying. If you pretend you don’t know what’s wrong, and if you can blame other things other than yourself, you don’t have to change.
Man I REALLY enjoyed this episode!
Can I suggest you bringing Dr John Demartini in the show?? 🙏🏼❤️
Like and Love. To Like is to be a Florist, To Love is to be a Gardener.
Enter Your friendships as a Florist ( see their beauty ) , Enter Your Relationships as a Gardener ( grow and maintain their beauty).
"It'" is the $h*t ! Love it! ❤️
It's always a Huge service to us for these 2 to sit for a conversation together! I agree with Jay that both of them are quite similar in a lot of ways!!
Manifesting to find a man with their mindset 🤞
I love how Tom challenged Jay on being too easy on people 🤣
Tom doesn’t understand why thoughts can destroy you, because he has not experienced sufficient trauma to know.
The thoughts can be unstoppable. Its like bathing in ice but YOU dont have control over when you get out.
Tom, you should have more people on who knows about trauma.
Just have watched the first 3min and started loving it so much ❤️❤️ this is the kind of podcast I want to consume ❤️ thank you for bringing it out🙏
Doomscrolling cats.... I feel SEEEEEN, ha ha ha ha ha. Really appreciate and am grateful for the info/ideas on your channel.
Look. I think this is a hard truth. People are time poor, and sitting there, BEING IN YOUR OWN HEAD, when you are someone with mental health issues like myself, it is extremely daunting but it is important, otherwise things will NEVER change.
I have a aureveyda book on health :) love this !! so on point with astrology right now and pluto moving into aquarius .
Stopping this video is a good way to start living better.
lmao
Why?
JAY IS RIGHT. PEOPLE ARE AFRAID TO BE WITH THEIR THOUGHTS AND THAT IS WHY PEOPLE DRINK ALCOHOL EVERYDAY, TAKE DRUGS EVERYDAY, SMOKE CIGERETTE KNOWING IT KILLS, BINGE WATCH TV, MOVIES, DO STUPID THINGS.
JAY IS ALSO GIVING THE SOLUTION. THANK YOU JAY
I don't think fear has anything to do with it. I think people just don't feel good, and get bored too easily.
False, I despise humans, and I watch anime to keep to distract me from my plan on destroying humanity until I get the resources
@@scottk1525 I dont get bored or fear anything
@@thoticcusprime9309 Want a cookie?
Hier self is to explore for the self, and there are paths that feel and look like something they are not, including mind altering invitations, although they can be used as tools so long as the I intention is appropriate and calibrated. For every higher choice, there is a lower as above, so below.
Solitude is literally my thing. In fact I'm hoping to one day come across a job that nobody wants to do because it requires periods of solitude so I can swoop in and get paid lots of money 🤞😅
Lol
Hi Joe Gomez!
I wish that the struggles you are already going through bring you profound self value
Meditation does not give me peace. Sitting still and breathing does not stop to give my mind a break. Meditation with movement works better for me to break away and reorganise my thoughts.
What type of meditation with movement? Like mindful walking?
Your mind is so disturbed thst you cant even stay still. You need to meditate for longer
@Ramdas Shetty Qigong,Taichi, Kuji kiri, all focusing physical montras, most important breathing, all gestures, movements, to the same end ? Go figure.... PS, this guy 3yr vet Monk, is an entrepreneur first. Regular Joe Smo.
@@moonolyth BUT HE IS GIVING FULL VALUE FOR FREE THROUGH HIS VIDEOS AND PODCASTS. SO I AM HAPPY IF HE EARNS MONEY THRO ENTREPRENEURSHIP. HE GIVES SO MUCH TRANSFORMATIVE MATERIAL FOR FREE THAT I DONT GRUDGE HIM HIS WEALTH
Tom: "I don't understand why people are scared of meditating". Tom, you often say you don't understand human reaction to some things and very often I do know why. When I hear you say this, I hear judgement. Like what some things people do is litteraly crazy. I am not scared of meditation but some are because meditation will stop your hamster like thinking. Meditation will give you clarity and maybe you are scared of clarity. Some people are scared of the truth because they feel they cannot handle the truth. You don't understand those people because you have not been through tough times that challenges your core beliefs about how life works.
I am so grateful for the selfless , clarity, & humble sharing of this great souls.more of such topics can heal the youth from their fear and insecurities to flower into loving and valuable world citizens. Om Shanti.
I think it’s the people who don’t like who they are as a person who can’t be alone.
45:00 this is so funny to hear, since I'm here down a rabbit hole that began with a Westworld episode named after a Chinese book. Such an innocent looking small thing can change the course of life...
First learn and feel comfortable with sitting alone in the darkness WITHOUT your cell phone in silence for 3 hrs. Then you are on your way . Start with FEELING your beingness .
Tom u da man
I’m confused Jay..I meditate to silence my mind because my mind never switches off unless I meditate.
Yes for the 1st 5 minutes it will chatter but once it knows I’m listening it goes quiet..
That’s what meditation is for me! That complete self awareness that my mind shuts the fuck up because it knows I’m really encouraging it lol..